Reverse Gender Roles Equestria

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well......at least no dong ring.

>>28158101
images like this make me wonder why /an/ isn't a faster board.

Frosty, could you please repost that last green you put down? I didn't get to read it and I refuse to wade through all that.

>>28158158
Seconding this.

>>28158158
if they re already gone i thought they said they updated their paste bin. I might be mistaken though.

>>28157156
That was good and cute and meta and good and that ending was strange like Durnk and I already said good and can you repost it please like >>28158158 asking?

>>28158158
Repost please.

>Hopefully with less shitposting!
What happened?

>>28158241
Best not to delve into that rabbit hole, but short of it is that a few people got into an argument which ended up with gore spam and massive autism/asshattery.

>>28158158
Meta a shit
What next, namefag clop?

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>>28158071

>>28157156
>Frosty mentioned my Wrasslin' shame
Sh-shit, now I feel obliged to update it. G-Give me a bit and I'll try hitting at least 100 lines and update.

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>>28158261
>That picture
>My heart
Tell me about Anon, why does he wear the pone?

Wew, that story did nothing when I posted it eh?

>>28157378
I just wanted to capture your best side bae, you deserved it.

>>28158158
K

>>28158204
Aww thanks!

>>28158296
Probably not. Just what I made was incredibly embarrassing, to go one step further is probably too much for most to do.

>>28158317
Don't feel ashamed write-wife, hiatus happens to everyone at somepoint, it's alright. Besides, that 'new project' seems bretty gud. You update whatever you want, whenever you want, don't feel obligated to do anything because of me.

“How’s everypony doing out there?” you ask the murmuring audience
>You receive a roar of cheers and clopped hooves
“Okay okay, sounds pretty good… but you all do realize that in just a few minutes we’re going to bring out the LARGEST gathering of writers for the My Big Human: Teamwork is Power that Humie-Con has ever seen right?”
>The crowd rings loudly in your ears
“Alright! So lemme ask again, how’s everypony doing out there?”
>You flatten your ears against your head to keep yourself from going deaf
>Not only are you hearing the crowd, you are feeling them
>Through you, through the stage
>They are going wild
>You hold up a hoof and wave it down enough times that the crowd eventually settles down
“Excellent! I knew that you ponies were the right ones to bring in here today. Now if you want to ask the writers a question please make sure to go ahead and line up now. I know I know, you’re all probably sick of lines by now, but I promise this is going to be a once in a lifetime event”
>You nod to the volunteers in the audience and they get up and start helping form lines and getting the mics set up
>Giddiness courses through your veins as you scurry to the back stage
>Having been in regular contact with them does sort of diminish the excitement a little, but only a very very little teensy tiny amount
>You’ve been in t.v. for a while, doing various jobs, but one you regret not working on until later was definitely My Big Human:TiP
>So getting to meet all these writers for the show is still a huge deal for you
“So, is everypony ready?” you says as calmly as you can

>>28158537
>The writers’ chatter quiets down, they all share looks with each other
>Frostybox walks up to you with a concerned look on his face, “Well… I’m so sorry Miss Orator, but I’m afraid that Brand won’t be joining us, she got a call last night about some new development for her research and she had to go” he says with a hint of frustration in his voice
“That’s okay! Uh, things come up right?”
>Frostybox’s frown lightens some after he lets out a frustrated sigh, “Yes, they do. And while I know it leads to some fantastic work, or even if it wouldn't, Brand gets herself pretty invested in her work either way so there isn’t really anything I could do to change her mind”
>You nod feeling a bit of disappointment yourself
>Out of all the others, Brandnew was the hardest to get in touch with and probably the one you were most excited to meet
>”But! I was able to… convince her, into divulging a little of her plans for the upcoming season”
>Your eyes widen with wonder
“Really?”
>Frosty nods, “She may not be there often, but home is where the heart is and I run the home” he says with an airy giggle and follows it with a wink
>You get the call to start the panel through your earpiece
“Okay gals- uh, and Frostybox… come over this way and I’ll call your names out to come on stage in just a few okay?”
>They walk with you as you were explaining which meant you needed to keep your head turned towards them so they could actually hear you over the hustle and bustle backstage
>They all nod
“Great now I- Ooph!”
>You run face first into a brick wall and stumble backwards
>”Oh, my apologies” a gruff but apologetic voice booms from the wall you ran into you
>You shake your head and look up at the thick mare holding her hoof down for you to take
>You awkwardly hold out your hoof and are pulled up to your hooves with barely any effort of your own

>>28158540
>Love and Powerlifting makes you wish you had done something other than track in high school
>”Aright there sis?” Durnk Anun asks, stifling a giggle
>Frostybox nudges Durnk in the arm
“Fine! Uh, yeah no I’m good”
>You scurry out onto the stage and receive a small bit of applause and cheers
“A-alright! So, now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for…”
>You can feel the building energy in the crowd, anticipating your very next words
>It takes you a second after the embarrassing tumble but you soon fall back into your stride
“You can call me Miss Orator, I’ll be here to help make sure things go smoothly. You gals all want that right?”
>Cheers
“Believe me I do too, I’ve spent far too many hours to count working tirelessly for the fine folks here at Humie-Con and for all you in the lovely audience to let thing go anything but smooth. So without further adieu, let me introduce our wonderful guests!”
>The crowd erupts, you wait for them to reach an “you can all mostly still hear me level” before continuing
“Okay, so in no particular order… Former My Big Human:TiP writer and current lead writer for the beloved spin-off series The Fitventures of Zzyzz. Love! And! Powerlifting!”
>You have to flatten your ears under the cheers and whooping
>She comes out with modest enthusiasm, pausing only to wave to the crowd a couple of times
>Durnk Anun stumbles out from backstage to your shock and that of the crowd
>She closes the gap between herself and Love
>Durnk powerslides under the mare and partially lifts her up to great strain on Durnk’s part, she forces Love into doing a few poses she clearly seems a little hesitant to do
>The crowd becomes less cheering and more whooping and beckoning whistles
>Pumped on by the crowd, Love and Powerlifting goes along with things and strikes one quick pose that the main character of her show is known for before taking her seat

>>28158547
“O-kay! Whew! Dab your brows dry everypony and show a little class for the former writer of the show and current writer of two very well regarded companion mangas to the series, Analplug Anon!”
>Anal trots out happily waving at everypony in the crowd, the joy emanating from this mare is clear to see
>…As is the ornate piece protruding out from her puckered ponut
>She quickly and somewhat surprisingly takes her seat without so much as a twitched eye or anything
“Alright alright, now our next writer has been with us for some time. Her episode arcs are hailed as some of the best in the whole series even to this day. Writer up until season three, leaving showriting to focus her time on her foal and her herd, and still managed to somehow put out the comfiest memoirs I know that I’ve ever read. Shukaku!”
>Shukaku takes the stage, waving at everypony, pausing to blow a kiss or two admit the cheers of the crowd and takes her seat
”He’s dashing, he’s smooth, and if you’re not careful he’ll steal your heart. I know he stole mine! The creative genius behind the popular 'Incognito' companion Comic series. Coolkids!”
>As smooth as the character she created, Coolkids slides onto the stage pointing hooves and shooting playful smirks to the crowd
“Now before our next guest comes out I have just one question for all of you… ARE. YOU. READY. TO. RRRRRRUMBLE!?”
>SSTH storms onto the stage, sporting a PCW husband-beater
“That’s right gals, fresh off the directing chair from the surprise hit spin-off series Wrestlemania, former casting director, SSTH!”
>You wait for the crowd to settle down again, but SSTH just keeps them riled up
>It’s pretty clear where she comes from compared to the others

>>28158551
“A relatively fresh writer, but her work speaks for itself. Her arcs in the last two seasons are already being contested for 'based tier' on cloverchan and looking to lock that in with the upcoming season of My Big Human. Ghouls!”
>She scurries over to her seat, it’s pretty clear that she hasn’t been at the center of attention for too long, but once at her seat and in the presence of her herd she relaxes and throws a few smiles and waves to the cheering crowd
“You know her, probably the most contested about writer in the series history. A mare who truly needs no introduction. Durnk Anun!”
>Durnk stumbles onto the stage, seemingly blinded by the headlight above
>You watch with a slight bit of cancer as she wobbles her way towards her seat
“Okay uh…” you clear your throat, “Next up is… uh, oh!”
>You give the nod to the light crew, the lights dim until they black out completely
”Audience beware…” you whisper into the mic, with as grim a tone as you can muster, “You’re in for a scare…”
>The crowd’s excitement is clear, even through the darkness
>The lights fade back in and HeliAnon is standing centerstage
”Writer of the beloved spin-off book series, provided you read it with the light on, The midnight Society… HeliAnon!”
>You hear joking cries of “2 spooky” come form the crowd as Heli takes her seat
“I’ll pause for a moment for you all to bring your hearts back into your chest… only to have them ripped right back out. The mistress of emotion as I like to call her, showing both heart wrenching sweetness and sorrow, sometimes all in one episode. Lead writer for the beloved spin-off drama Polygamy. Comfy!”
>”John was best husbando!”, “No, Mr. X was the right choice!”
>Comfy chuckles as she approaches her seat, she leans into the mic and looks at the two mares who shouted over the crowd, “Ladies ladies, you’re both right. Listen to the canon in your hearts”

>>28158553
>You all watch as the two mares look to each other, dopey smiles form on their faces and you have to stifle your own laughter as they tip their sunhats to each other while the crowd cheers them
“Okay, bear with me gals we’re almost done, but lets go ahead and give it up for this line up eh?”
>The crowd cheers and settles down shortly after
“No cave is too deep or wet, no tomb remains untouched, no bountiful riches unplundered by the daring explorer Montana Jones. The thrilling spin-off adventure series continues next year, and the mind behind the man is with us-“
>Oh, right
“Uh…”
>You hear the clopping of hooves come up from behind you
>A hoof rests on your wrist and gently turns it over so the mic points away from you
>You hear whistles from the crowd and turn to find yourself sharing the same air with Frostybox himself
>”Brandnew won’t be joining us at this panel I’m sorry to say.” he announces unfazed by your proximity
>The crowd’s mood becomes deflated
>”B-but! Don’t despair too much, she’s very sorry for leaving on such short notice so she left me with some exclusive info on the upcoming season of Montana Jones!”
>The crowd quickly reverts back to cheers
>Frostybox tilts the mic back your way, “Sorry, figured I’d take the heat in case the crowd went sour”
>You nod and watch him trot onto the stage
“Uh, Frostybox everypony!”
>Once the crowd settles down again, you help transition things along
>They make some small talk amongst themselves discuss their experience working on the main show or the spin-offs
>A couple jokes about Has-sis get thrown around which help keep the mood light and cheery
>Over all a very strong panel, it’s really clear that the chemistry between them very clearly extends beyond ones as creators
“Okay, so questions? I think we’re ready to start winding things down so we can do some questions yeah?”

>>28158559
>The panel agrees with Durnk being the most boisterous, “Go on! Gimme what you got!”
>You share a look of concern with the crew
>Love and Powerlifting waves you over after glancing your way
>You trot over as she leans back, “Durnk has a bit of a stage freight issue, I think she had a little too much liquid courage. Can you get someone to bring her some more water?”
>You nod and relay the order as the first questioner reaches the stage
>”I have a question for Shukaku”
>Shukaku sits up in her seat and waves the young stallion on, “Sure thing kiddo, fire away”
>”Uhm… what’s-“ the feedback from his proximity makes everybody wince, one of the volunteers adjusts the mic for the stallion, “Sorry...“
>Shukaku, with the patience and warmth only a mother has responds, “It’s okay sweetie, what did you want to ask?”
>The stallion beams up at Shukaku, “I saw rumors online about you working with Comcap for some project. Is that true? and can you talk about that?”
>Shukaku raises an eyebrow and the crowd goes wild
>She glances around the table at her herdmates before leaning forward towards her mic with a coy smile on her face, “Well, I guess it’s as good a time as any to announce it-“
>You jump to attention
“Whoa whoa, Shukaku, are you saying we’re going to hear ANOTHER exclusive?”
>Shukaku chuckles while nodding, “Yes yes, you’re all hearing it be confirmed right here and now.”
>The crowd erupts with cheer while Shukaku patently waits for them to calm down
>”I am working with Comcap on a new project. I’m working with a fantastic team and together we’ve got a game in development to be elaborated on at a later time”
“Whoa whoa, a game?!”

>>28158563
>Shukaku nods, “My foal’s getting bigger, doesn’t need her mommy so much anymore. Her interest are changing and I feel like I need to change some too. I wanted to go somewhere different and I think this game is going to be exactly that kind of different. I can’t say too much, but I can say there’s hunting involved. Lots of it.”
>The crowd eventually settles back into their seats on the hype train and the next questioner comes up to the mic
>A more portly mare comes up, you can see moisture on her brow even from her distance away from you, “Miss Powerlifting? H-how do you uh, find the motivation to lift?”
>Love leans into her mic, her eyes appear calm on the surface but you can see an intensity burning beneath, “Motivation is fleeting. You can’t rely on it. I wasn’t always this way, I was just like you once. But I worked hard and never gave myself a back-up plan. Sometimes things got tough, real tough, and I wanted to quit altogether. That’s when I started creating Zzyzz. I imagined a man who would never give up on me, who would never let me down, no matter how hard things got.”
>The crowd is silent, listening in awe as this powerhouse of a mare speaks
>”Lift heavy. Eat big. Go to bed on time. And remember… We’re all gonna make it Brah”
>Mare, these spotlights are so bright… making your eyes water…
>A young mare walks up to the microphone and asks Analplug Anon something specific about one of her characters in her manga
>”Yeah, I feel you girl. I miss her too. I haven’t quite gotten that chapter quilled out yet, but I can at least tell you that her story isn’t over yet.”
>”Is your new business taking too much of your time?” the mare follows up
>”New business?”
>”Yeah, the designs you post occasionally on your artblog”

>>28158570
>Analplug’s eyes widen, “Oh! Oh, you mean my plugs! Well they’re really more of a side project but yeah I guess it’s fair to say that they’ve been eating up more of my time than it probably should”
>”Probably?” Frosty chimes in, “Babe I will never ever have to concern myself with knowing where you are in the house, I can relate your position using my own and the loudness of your buzzing”
>Analplug gasps, her mouth hangs open with shock, only shutting into a smile when Frostybox winks at her
>The crowd erupts into laughter as the next question comes
>”Miss Coolkids?" A young filly starts, fluttering her small wings intensely to put herself level with the microphone
>After she drops to the floor, one of the volunteers lowers the mic for her so she can speak more comfortably, “My brother got to see you when you visited the hospital and he wanted me to thank you for going to see him. You’re the coolest!”
>Coolkids smiles at the young filly and quickly leans into his mic when she starts to walk away, ‘Whoa whoa, hold on there young mare. What hospital is your brother in?”
>The filly, surprised at being put on the spot kicks at the ground and mumbles as she struggles to answer
>An older stallion, with a similar coat color comes over to the filly and lifts her up with his magic
>He walks over to the mic and adjusts that by hoof, “Manehattan Medical. Your visit is still all he ever talks about, and I… I just wanted to say thank you. Your comics bring him so much joy every single month”
The crowd cheers and settle quickly as Coolkids waves them down, “What’s your son’s name miss?”
>”S-second Chance.” the stallion says, his voice cracking slightly

>>28158575
>”Letters came in around the time issue five of Incognito was releasing, letters from parents like you are what encouraged me to start doing regular visits to hospitals. Incognito is far from a good guy, but he’s brave and daring. I think that resonates with foals who were unlucky, but you know, compared to foals like Second Chance however, he’s not even in the same league as them. Mister Chance? I want you to do me a favor, I want you to break the news to your son, I’m almost ready to start printing a series of adventure novels ones that were inspired by my time spent visiting foals just like yours.”
>The stallion’s lip quivers, “Th-thank you Miss-“
>”That’s not all… All the proceeds from the novels are going directly to medical research that specifically focuses on foals. So I want you- Mister Chance, I want you to go to your son and tell him that he’s every bit a hero as the ones Incognito faces. Better than! If he were to face Incognito one on one, your son would come out on top. And that’s canon!”
>Frostybox and Analplug, the two sitting right beside Coolkids lean in close and nuzzle her as she wipes her eyes
>” I’ve got a question for SSTH”
>”Lay it on me sister”
>”Was it hard going from wrestling to animation?”
>”On the surface it seems like quite the leap right?”
>The mare who asked the question nods
>”Far from it actually, sister. As the casting director I was regularly thinking about which wrestlers work best together, what the choreographers were planning and who could best fill the roles we made. A lot of that transferred over into the Wrestlemania series. The biggest change was not having any physical characters to work with, but i kept at it and over all I think the show was a success”
>The crowd agrees loudly

>>28158583
>”The hiatus is still being worked out, all sorts of technical stuff I’m not too keen on, but in the meantime I’m hoping to continue that success with my next project, there will be more detail as I get more quilled out, but keep your eyes peeled because SSTH has got one doozy of an adventure story to tell”
>”Which episode scares you the most?” One stallion asks the panel
>They all share glances with each other
>”The puppet one?” Analplug announces
>Everyone but Frostybox and HeliAnon nod in agreement
>”What?! How can you say the puppet?” Frosty demands
>”Yeah seriously, you thought that was bad, wait until The Slime episode airs” Heli adds
>The crowd gasps and Heli clamps a hoof over her mouth
>She leans into the microphone, “Oops… I think I wasn’t supposed to say that. You all can keep a lid on it until the official announcement right?”
>”Slownon hasn’t made many public appearances or announcements lately, is she okay?”
>They panel all share a look of concern
>Frosty leans into his mic, ”Slownon is… going through a bit of a rough patch. Trouble with her side of the family, but she’s working through it, on her own and with us. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to hear about your concern, all of you, thank you for caring”
>The crowd chants Slownon’s name, you’re sure at least a fourth of the audience is recording this
>You feel a warmth in your chest knowing that Slownon’s feed will explode with activity shortly
>”Can you tell us any more about the upcoming season Ghouls?”

>>28158588
>Ghouls looks hesitant to speak, but the crowd chanting her name seems to convince her to lean into her mic, “You gals just can’t be satisfied can you? Well, the team this season is just phenomenal, like always-“ she adds glancing around to the quirked eyebrows around her, “We’ve got a lot of great things in store for our big humans. I guess I can… no I’m sorry, I gotta be all hush hush for now, but trust me, this next season is going to be great”
>The crowd’s disappointment echoes around the room
>Frosty leans into his mic and addresses the audience, “Hey! You know what might help mellow the sting from not getting any more info about the upcoming season?”
>The crowd quickly turns to murmurs
>”Getting info about an upcoming season!”
>Frosty sets a small rolled up sheet or paper on the table
>HIs hooves unroll it only to have it roll shut a couple of times in succession, “Oop. Mmn. S-sorry everypony, the best I could get out of Brandnew was to get her to scribble it down on a napkin before she left
>Love and Powerlifting slams a hoof down onto the napkin, compressing it flat
>Frosty looks over to love and beams at her, “Thanks Lovey!” he chirps while the audience “awws”
>He clears his throat before reading off the napkin, “Okay let’s see, it says… ‘We’re going to Labarynthia bastaaaaaards-!'”
>He gasps and quickly clamps a hoof to his mouth to stifle his giggling
>The audience erupts into laughter while the table takes turns looking over the napkin
>”HeliAnon leans into his mic, “she actually wrote a bunch of a’s” he announces to the crowd, holding the napkin up so the cameramare can display it on the screen
>”She’s an absholute madmare.” Durnk notes, “Dunno how her publisher keepsh giving her such big advancesh. Sherioushly, s’like she nicked one of the cheshts she writes about shometimesh”
>That volunteer did give her water right?

>>28158598
>Once the crowd gets settled the second to last questioner comes to the stand, “Frosty has been posting a lot of photos on Instagraph of him working with Comfy. Can you two share what it is your working on?”
>The two of them exchange a look
>Frosty clearly backs away from Comfy’s harder stare
>A faint blush begins to form on their faces
>”U-uh… well…” Frosty begins
>”What we’re working on is… It’s a bit of an experiment that Has-sis is letting us try out…”
>The both of them dance around each other and the question for a bit before Durnk drake the mic up to her face
>”They’re workin’ on a shpin-off sheries with a mature theme and it’s going to be bucking awesome!” she blurts out causing the two other ponies to stiffen up in their seats
>Whistles and cheers erupt from the crowd while the two shift uncomfortably in their seats
“Uh, anything you two can divulge-“
>”Yes! Well uh, like I said it’s very experimental and-“ Comfy starts
>”It’s gonna have inces-“
>”WHAT Durnk is going to say is that we’ve been inspired by Shukaku’s drive. Both Comfy and I are dipping our tippy-hooves into games too. I’m not very well versed, but I like watching the girls play when we are lucky enough to have free evenings together. Comfy is being a sweetheart and helped guide me into a niche I think I can fit into. Visual Novels-”
>Frostybox is cut off by an eruption of sound from the audience
>”We’re gong to be exploring the theme of love, a very… particular kind of love. With the setting taking place in a very lightly touched on area of Earthia. Louisiana.”
>The don’t divulge much more info, but you already feel your own anticipation building for all these new project coming down the line
>”Are you working on anything Durnk Anun?” the last questioner asks
>Durnk, who is now splayed out over the back of her chair, remains as such when the question is directed at her

>>28158606
>Love pokes her pudgy belly once, prompting Durnk to jump back into a sitting option in her seat, “Huh wha-?”
>”Oh sweetie…” Frosty coos, “The last question is directed at you. If you have something in the works”
>Drunk brings a hoof to her chin, after a moment of silence she pulls her mic up to her lips
>Incoherent mumbles and heavy breathing come through the loudspeakers
>Love tries to take her microphone away, you can faintly hear her telling her herd mate that she needs to get some sleep
>Durnk resists however and yanks the microphone back
>She puts it right up to her lips
>”Oi! It doesn’t matter what I’m working on. We are all gathered here for our love of Big Human:TiP and with so many diverse people gathered together there’s one one thing that really matters”
>The audience goes silent, eager to hear what suddenly sober words are about to come out
>Instead of speaking however, Durnk Anun jumps onto of the table and whips around
>Her tail raises high and she throws her head back
>”CLITS OUT FOR ZEBRAMBE!” she bellows
>”CLITS OUT CLITS OUT CLITS OUT” she begins chanting
>Out of the stunned audience, one mare joins in
>”Clits out. Clits out! CLITS OUT. CLITS OUT!”
>Slowly, more and more join Durnk Anun in her chant
>The room begins to build with a wild energy as the chanting gets louder
>Analplug joins her herd mate on the table, followed by Ghouls, and HeliAnon
>”CLITS OUT CLITS OUT!”
>Soon the rest of them join their herd, even Frosty who breaks up the chant briefly as the audience whistles and cheers when he raises his tail
>”CLITS OUT CLITS OUT CLITS OUT!”
>…
>Buck it
“CLITS OUT CLITS OUT CLITS OUT!”

>>28158130
because they chase away zoophiles.

>>28158613
Okay that's all. The apology in the last thread still applies now. I'm sorry if I missed you, I just went off of the available list, no offence meant. And I'm sorry if I didn't and misrepresented you, I was going off of memory from when I was last actively looking in these threads, lack of sleep, and what I've seen lately. Writing all of this was incredibly awkward and embarrassing, but based drawfag/(wife?) liked it so I guess that makes it worth it

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>>28158529
>Just what I made was incredibly embarrassing,
Faith in writemom - restored

>>28158636
It was enjoyable enough. A bit cringey and meta, sure, but written well.
How did you know about the frontier homestead game ponekaku's making? You're not supposed to know its a game where youre a mare with her herd on a frontier house that goes out to gather food and supllies, as well as hunt dangerous things in the area that might hurt your family.

>>28158071
What kind of fucking genius made the thread?
How do you ctrl-f it?
No "RGRE"
No "Reversed" - because fucking tomboy thread for some fucking reason wants to be REVERSE TRAP my teats.

Are you a spy from the REVERSE TRAP thread you little bitch?

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>>28158636
We have a lot in common.

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>>28158844
This.

>>28158844
>Reversed
Is it so hard to type 'reverse' and click next?

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>Anon is friends with both Shining and Cadence.
>Shining and Cadence someway, somehow, pull Anonymous into their relationship.
>Cadence is overjoyed to have 2 gorgeous, competent, and not bitchy stallions to herself.
>Sex is obviously the forefront of her mind.
>Shining, leery at first, quickly warms up to the idea since Anon is all the support of a mare in a familiar and friendly male form.
>He may also want to try out some of his deviant and lewd fantasies that need another male
>Anon just wonders how the fuck he got horsemarried to his friends.

>>28158890
Or "gender."

>>28158890
Maybe I should just type 'r' and hit next a lot of times?
How the fuck am I supposed to know that genius OP typed it that way?
Only a REVERSE TRAP agent would actually type just "reverse" into ctrl-f.
Go away and know that your thread name is RETARDED.
You could have stayed a normal Tomboy Thread but noooo, it's not MEMEY enough.

>>28158898
Cadence pregnant with both's kids. Time for a high hoof.

>>28158911
>How am I supposed to know that OP typed the name that way, it's not like I'm arguing about it right now
>Reverse trap agent
>he seriously said that. Reverse trap agent.
>all caps RETARDED
>bitching about a thread being MEMEY
>flipping out for such a stupid-ass reason in the first place

You must be at least 18 years of age to post here.
Please close your browser and find something else to do.

>>28158898
>Anon casually declining Shining's request for buttsex
>"You do it to Cadence, Anon! Mine is just as good!"
>...but Anon didn't want the ghey

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>>28158553

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>>28158953
You got him right, fellow adult.

>>28158953
Don't respond to the bait man, just ignore the child. Act like the parent/responsible adult here.

RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria
Pevious thread: >>28137184
That better.

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>>28158898
>A powerful, loving, and handsome guard captain.
>A huge, exotic, and reluctant but loyal super predator.
>All to herself.
>Everyone calls Cadence the "Princess of Greed" behind her back.

>>28158965
>Act like the parent/responsible adult here.
Good luck. He doesn't know how.

Besides, Anons are mostly good at inputting bullshit into the textbox.
They can't properly start threads, nor can they properly keep them alive, last thread being a prime example.
Holy shitshow.

>>28158241
>"The Aristocrats!"

>>28158296
>"I don't like it"
>"Stop making things I don't like"

>>28158071
I can tell this is going to be a great thread.

That was sarcasm.

>>28158844
>How do you ctrl-f it?
You don't. Use the filters instead. Filter the word "trap" and highlight "gender roles equestria". You'll always have it on top of the catalog. If you use a 4chan extension you can set up a filter like this:
/(gender roles equestria|RGRE)/i highlight; op:only;
It works for me.

You're kinda right though, typing that final D wouldn't have been much of an effort.

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>>28159104

I'm just thankful someone made a thread to get us out of that shitshow: something no one else even tried to do.

>>28159191
Give this Anon a hand.
Good to know that someone can still feel thankful for the good things.

>>28155121
Funnily enough, I've been doing a lot of sleeping lately, it's getting near the end of cold season down here and my throat and nose decided to say 'Fuck you'

>>28157247
Oh curses, I nearly teared up at that. It sure as fuck does feel like it's been forever since I started with you joining shortly afterwards Frosty. Back then I wrote a lot more since I had no real life commitments and a more stable income. But I really have to hand it to you buddy, you sure are one great bastard, in the best possible way of course. Maybe after tomorrow for me, when I return home from shopping, I will do my best to write up a good length of green for this thread.

>>28158636
>Be Anon in ponyquestria
>Invited to some sort of comic book convention
>Rarararara tried to stop you
>Disregard fancy horse, climb onto back of twiggles and ride to glory
>Well, to the train station
>Then you got off her back and sat on the seat in the train
>On the way to the city where the con is you taught Twilight how to graffiti a train
>She's a quick learner, that girl
>Once you arrived at the appropriate horse city you went over to the con
>"Humancon 3016"
>Well that's not ominous in the slightest
>It's not like you were kept in the dark about humans being some kind of big popular thing with cons and stuff
>IS IT, TWILIGHT?
>No, it's not.
>She told you all about it and you both decided to come see what all the fuss is about
>Also Twilight has one of those body pillows with the character printed on it back at the library
>You don't know who that guy on it is, but he's definitely a human
>You open the doors and head inside
>"CLITS OUT! CLITS OUT! CLITS OUT!"
>"CLITS OUT! CLITS OUT! CLITS OUT!"
>All the ponies have their asses in the air and their pony CLIT TOR ISSes are popping in and out of them as they chant
>A bunch of alicorns are standing on a table at the front leading the chant
>Also with their asses in the air, waving about
>This is honestly better than you expected
"CLITS OUT!"
>You drop trou and join in
>"CLITS OUT! CLITS OUT! CLITS OUT!"
"CLITS OUT! CLITS OUT! CLITS OUT!"
>>28158843
Yeah, it does feel a bit over-the-top-autistic to write stories about the writers like this
We should probably be careful not to let the threads go to shit with this stuff
We don't want to end up like the satyrfags

>>28158898
>>28158955
>>28158985
More of this

Last thread was fun

>>28159567
Well, one good (and rgre enough) story for sake of fun is plenty enough, I guess. And now we can return to rgre green and ideas (by the way, why did you requested "Daring Do in alien temple (aka Anon House)" which I did some threads ago?)

>>28158843
Well I'm glad you liked it. I don't think there was any way I could make a meta write-herd story not come off as a bit cringey, I can take solace in the fact that I kept the cringe low-ish.
I'm sorry. For what it's worth I just read the leaks, didn't do any mining myself or nothing.

>>28158838
>>28158881
My sisters from other misters.

>>28158962
Ghouls-wife! S-sorry I didn't add more detail for you, I didn't want to sperg out any harder than I already have and put words in your mouth for projects you may not even be starting.

>>28159524
Miss you write-wife, hope you're doing better. I know how you feel, s'why I have to limit my cross thread writing and cut out many one-shots I want to do. Please don't feel obligated as a result of my autism, I'm just glad to know you're still up and about and I'm positive I'm not the only one

>>28159567
>Tfw you will always be too late to save Zebrambe
CLITS OUT CLITS OUT CLITS OUT
This >>28159635 basically. Though I dunno about 'good' I know at least on my end this is the first and last time I will make anything relating to write-herd. Way too awkward, but I swallowed it down and hit the keys because I felt somewhat compelled to write something if I'm going to be graced enough to be drawn by Pencil-sempai/(wife?)

Whatever happened to that detective and eldritch horrors story?

>>28159635
Because it's a fun idea.
Humans are aliens to ponies.
Ponies do not understand alien artifacts AKA human stuff.
Indiana Jones style explorer and tomb raider pone would want to explore an alien structure, and a temple is one of the things they would think a strange structure with many unknown objects as being.
Them not knowing Anon still lives there just makes it funnier.
And then if you found someone in your house, what would you do?
You'd call the cops.

>>28159685
Got eaten by a cthulu.
I need more of that story too.
Also more Anon being an eldrich horror stuff too

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>>28159567
>Yeah, it does feel a bit over-the-top-autistic to write stories about the writers like this
>We should probably be careful not to let the threads go to shit with this stuff
>We don't want to end up like the satyrfags

my bad for promoting it

I just wanted to let you guys know how much I appreciate all the writefags here

>>28159697
>Also more Anon being an eldrich horror stuff too
yes please

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>>28159675
>Though I dunno about 'good
Yeah, it's not good. It's outstanding! Aside from some laught I (like some others anons) remembered some old stuff thanks to your story. And "wife" was graced enough to do something for Frosty sen~sei-pai-pie long before started to draw stuff with name. But >>28159699 anon who is doing writers OC's will probably to that faster and better than me And too much meta is not good, that was exact amount of it to be good

>>28159697
Oh. That's true. But I kinda expected it to be a story due to how specific you was

>>28159685
Going throught dark magical rift with your four legged partner is taking some time. We must believe that it will continue soon (and that Yellow Press will get what she deserves)

>>28159799
How do you feel about crotchboobs, drawfriend? Would you be willing to draw some Milky, and post a link of that drawing here? I ask because I have a friend who really REALLY likes her.

>>28159675
Naaaw, it was nice getting a shoutout at all with how relatively new I am. You wrote that well, too, and I hope you add it to your bin. It's feels like a snapshot of current RGRE goings-on that would be cool to revisit later. Gud jab.

As for projects, I'm thinking of writing another short soon, and I haven't forgotten about FI or Spaghetti. I'm still just ironing ideas out for them, the previous especially. Whatever else you wrote probably wouldn't have been far from the truth to be honest.

>>28155121
Oh damn, I almost missed this one. Then again, I probably missed a lot of things from last thread. Still, neat.

>>28160369
Just solo milkmare or something specific with her, some scenario, or rgre related things, lewd? I can try but too many arts must be done for that thread, so you gonna wait (and maybe try to interest writefags in making some rgre stuff with her. Haven't seen that here yet)

>>28160528
That's mainly because anything Milky related gets deleted and the poster banned right away.

>>28160528
Milky being milked.

>>28159675
That whole story was rather silly, but it was funny none the less, now I need to finish that update in other thread....

>>28160528
Milky being too full, leaking, and begging anon to be milked.

A new part of "It gave me Goosebumps"
---
“So besides the obvious hatred that you have for me, was it your plan to get in my pants last night?”
>Whatever Yearling had expected you to say, that was certainly not it.
>She coughed up pieces of her veggie omelet, and began chugging water in earnest.
>”Most definitely not, I could have my pick of stallions, why the buck would I even consider doing anything like that with you.”
>Humming to yourself you munched on a piece of toast with strawberry jam.
“Oh I don’t know about that, you looked pretty comfy last night.”
>Yearlings cheeks reddened at your comment.
>”I was drunk, nothing more, in case you forgot, I hate just about everything you are and do.”
“You were drinking grape juice, there was no alcohol. I’m still a bit confused on how you got drunk off that.”
>”None of your business.”
“Don’t be like that sweetie, what kind of coltfriend would I be if I didn’t worry about you.”
>”Eat a pine cone.”
>Nice comeback, 10/10 on the burn scale.
>”Excuse Miss Yearling, Mr. Anonymous, would either of you like a newspaper?”
>One of the castle attendants looked at you both expectantly, newspapers sticking out of her saddle bags.
>”I’ll take one please.”
“Me as well.”
>Two papers floated out her saddlebags and dropped right beside your plates.
>Might as well learn what the latest news in Equestria was.
>Your eyes nearly bugged out and you clutched your stomach as you erupted in laughter.
>”Don’t die on me here, I don’t know if I would be able to live it down.” Yearling sarcasm didn’t escape you.

>>28160813
“Take a look at the front page, you might feel different about that.” You managed between gasping for air and laughter.
>Yearling gave you a confused look before starring down at her own copy of the paper.
>All color drained from her face as she saw the headline and the picture which dotted the front page of the Equestrian Times.
>A picture of you carrying the inebriated pony, you with a big smile on your face and Yearling draped over your shoulder.
>The caption reading “Words of Love, Top writers at the Gala”
>”I think I’m going to be sick.”
“It’s not that bad, I think you look nice, they even got your best side.”
>”That’s my butt.”
“I know what I said.”
>”Go buck yourself.”
“Only if my dearest is there with me. You want me to get you a barf bag or something?”
>”I’ll be fine, my reputation is another story.”
“C’mon, I know you’ve handled the papers talking about you before, this can’t be much different from that.”
>”Yes, when they wrote about my books, not my fake personal life.”
“It’ll be fine, I’m sure. It’s not like they’re saying anything bad in here.”
>”To you maybe, but all I see is a train wreck waiting to happen.”
>She was overreacting, silly pony, worrying about the small stuff.

>>28160821
>Sitting in your luxurious breakfast nook, you took delight in some delicious orange juice.
>This was one of your favorite times of the day, the time before you had to head in and run your publishing company.
>”Miss Robin, here’s this morning’s paper.”
>Thanking your assistant, you unfurled the rag from its binding setting it on the table right next to your glass.
>Might as well see how the book rankings are doing, so far the top sellers were all yours.
>What in the buck!
>There on the front page were two of your writers.
>Your best dang writers.
>Anonymous and Yearling acting like complete fools.
“Words of Love?”
>Reading the article you couldn’t help but smile.
>Ok so it wasn’t that bad. The two were just being silly, besides from what was being reported the two were very much in love.
>You guess that being in love was a good enough excuse as any for acting like a pair of schoolyard sweethearts.
>IDEA!
“Quick Note, send a message to head of the PR department, have them in my office first thing.”
>”Yes Miss Robin.”
>This was a great chance for your company.
>Two lovestruck writers collaborating on a combination of their greatest works.
>It’s like a goldmine! The book would be sold out before it even published.

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>>28160813
Yus.

>>28160829
>>28160821
>>28160813
Keep going writefag, keep going.

>>28160829
“Send a message to Yearling and Anonymous as well, stress that they need to be here as quickly as possible.”
>Finishing of your glass of juice you grabbed the paper in between your teeth and headed out the door.
>Today was going to be a good day.
>The trolley ride to the office was one filled with deep thoughts.
>Yearling was used to working alone, as most writers were.
>But she was a professional, and Anon might have been new to this but he was a quick study.
>He would adjust quickly, then as long as they focused on the writing and not each other, they’d churn out a bestseller.
>Riding the elevator up to your office, you were happy to find the head of the PR sitting in front of your desk.
“Good Morning.”
>”Good Morning Miss Robin, You usually never send for me this early in the day.”
“A set of circumstances arose that can be truly beneficial for the company.
>”Thank goodness, I was worried it would be another scandal or the like.”
“No not this time, we need to put out a press release.”
>The mare quickly took out a quill and some paper ready to jot down what you said next.”
“Coming soon from Trotastic, a collaborative work from A.K. Yearling and A.E. Mouse.”
---
And there's the update. I've updated the pastebin and revised the first quarter with fixes to grammar and continuity.
http://pastebin.com/ivLcbi1h

>>28160821
>“It’s not that bad, I think you look nice, they even got your best side.”
>>”That’s my butt.”
>“I know what I said.”
kek

>>28160528
If you draw her, and I hope you do, mind what >>28160587 said and post a link of it. Technically she isn't against the rules, but that doesn't stop scruffy from doing what he does best.

I like >>28160759 but >>28160605 would be okay too.

>>28160845
She's not going to be happy.

Page 9 ?

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>Not even 100 posts this time

Try harder next time.

Lord above, shit went DOWN after I left.

>>28158636
This is actually pretty good. Meta/10, would be portrayed as a professional, butt-obsessed mare again Seriously, meta is rarely good but you pulled it off. The timing (given the shitposting) was perfect.

>>28161844
>Not wanting multiple waifus
Cease life

>>28161853
It's not so bad, I brought some chocolate chip and cookie dough ice cream, if you want to share that is.

>>28161844
So what's it like being a low-test faggot? I've always wondered, but I've never experienced it.

>>28161910
>Not mint and chocolate chip
It's like I don't even know you anymore.

>>28162034
>mint and chocolate chip
I haven't been able to stomach that flavour combo ever since I got blackout drunk on Polar Bears (equal parts chocolate and mint liquor).

>>28162067
>candy flavored alcohol
Well there's your problem

>>28162202
The worst part was that both liquors were like, 24%. I had to drink both fucking bottles to get to the point where I NEARLY threw up; not even whole-hog "passing out in the toilet" drunk.

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>>28161982
rite?

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Beach Episode when?

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>"Equestria needs a new male prince to set a good example for our stallion subjects. Anonymous, are you up to the task?"

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>>28162555
Around the same time as the Celestia episode.

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>>28162581
Do what now

>>28162555

>ponies expect Anon to walk out in a stallion bikini
>he just walks out in swimshorts
>Anon is confused by his friends' disappointment.

>>28162581
>Princesses expect Anon to be a good, submissive househusband and a hot piece of exotic eyecandy to have around the castle
>Anon does Anon things
>Equestria's gender roles are thrown into chaos

>>28162586
God damn you fucking hasbro why must you play with my emotions.

>>28162581
>"Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the Princess?"

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>>28162581
>It's merely a position for show.
>Princesses expected Anon to simply 'smile and wave'.
>[RGRE Intensifies].
>Frosty will never finish http://pastebin.com/bgH5pAEt

>>28162581
rips loud fart and burps as I pick my nose.

>>28162581
>Anon, in a twist, is actually okay with waving and looking pretty
>Sleeps in the best bed that the best ponies can make with the most money and the best materials?
>Eats the same food that the best chefs prepare with the best ingredients with the intention of serving them to the literal goddesses of the land?
>Job description is "chill out and wear that sexy thing I bought you"?
>Probably gets to fuck the sun and the moon?
I would perfect my fucking waving technique and I would look SO pretty.

>>28162806
>Eats the same food that the best chefs prepare with the best ingredients with the intention of serving them to the literal goddesses of the land?
>Celestia and Luna are physical goddesses, they don't have to eat or drink
>The kitchens are surprisingly low-class, acting more like a canteen for palace staff
"You want fancy food? Go to Trez a' Table, spend 500 bits on a plate of horderves. Here, we serve chili and poutine."

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>>28162581
>>"Equestria needs a new male prince to set a good example for our stallion subjects. Anonymous, are you up to the task?"
>Anonymous, are you up to the task?"
>up to the task
I've been preparing for this my whole life: let's go.

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How many unicorns does it take to convince a stallion to put out for all of them?

>>28162922
Patriot Anon fucking when?

>>28162837
>Fancy, high-class foods got boring and then disgusting after several hundred years of eating nothing but that
>Celestia and Luna are in a junk food phase 200 years in the making

>"Hey, Anonymous, check this out."
"What's up, Luna?"
>"I took some horsedoritos and put all the poutine stuff on top of it."
"That's disgusting."
>"That's breakfast."

>>28162945
Depends.

>Normal stallion: never; desperate nerds aren't hot
>Anon: immediately; what kind of faggot turns down sex with lonely, well-read mares who are desperate for affection and are eager to please you?

>>28158621
really?
why?

>>28163076
That was not the question.

>>28163177
Am I a newfag for checking these dubs?

>>28163057
Have a (you)

>>28163177
>>28163188
>>28163199
All these dubs

>>28163177
I was close.

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>>28163076
I'd read this in a heartbeat.

>>28163320
>those plants in background
Jesus Christ, did they even try?

>>28163330
I have no idea. I'm on mobile and I just stole this image from somewhere a week ago.

I don't even know which anime this is from.

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>>28162922
Make Equestria Cum Again... and Again... and Again... and Again...

>>28163416
>"Luna, just because you snatched up the only stallion in Equestria that lasts longer than 15 seconds, doesn't mean that you get to brag about it."
"We think thou art, as the young ponies say, "totes jelly" of Us, sister."

>>28162837
Read that in a New Yorker's accent.

>>28163057
>The royal sisters spend centuries doing stupid things
>Celestia is currently halfway through mo'llenium
>Her chest tuft would drag on the floor if she didn't wear a necklace-thingy to hide it

>>28163188
Yup. Dubs are fairly common. Only check trips if the containing post has something interesting and/or relevant to say. Quads are more noteworthy, but still content dependent. Quints and higher are cause for minor observation of chanian awe.

>>28163870
I want to braid and tie ribbons in her chest fluff.

>>28163870
>>28163956
>Luna is currently growing out her pubic tuft

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>>28163956
>>28163870
I want to ride in her chest fluff.
>>28160845
>Yearling's face when she learns Anon is just making his stories up
>"How could you just lie to ponies?"
>"But that's what fiction means."
>>28159699
That's cool, but it needed more laser beams and rockets.
I'm really quite flattered
>>28163981
>That's not a tail

>Twilight mind controls Anon
>Only uses it to make him say pure things
>"N-Now say that you like me, but not just on a friend level!"

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>>28164398
>"Twily."
"Y-Yes, Anon?"
>"Did you know that..."
[Breathing Intensifies]
>"You're my very BEST friend."
"...Yes Anon. I know."

>>28164398
>Twilight mind controls Anon
>Only uses it to make him say pure things
>Unfortunately, due to his strange human mind, it causes him to act the opposite of what she wants
>"N-Now say that you like me, but not just on a friend level!"
"Fuck off."

>>28164398
>Twilight, thinking that Anon is just shy and reserved, hits him with a Truth spell to try to get him to open up and be more stallion'y.
>It backfires.
>Anon isn't attracted to ponies.
>Anon finds them annoying a lot of the time.
>You know, all those thoughts you have in your head.
>Ponies' vision of pure, innocent human is shattered.
>Also reveals things certain ponies want to keep hidden.
>Like Cadence's constant attempts to goad him into an affair.
>Or the Flower Sisters camping out in his house, spying on him.

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>>28164567
"So Cadence just winked at me and said, "I've got a very long tongue."
>"Cadence... Why don't you ever show me your long tongue? You make me eat your clit every night without so much as thanks, then you go out and suck the first dick you see?!"
>"Shiny, honey, it's not my-"
>"I'm moving back in with my parents! Dad was right all along about you!"
"Then she took her tongue and licked some mare's ice cream from like two feet away as she passed. It was kinda funny."

>>28164398
>"I like you, Twily... I REALLY like you."
>Oh Celestia, that was hot.
"W-What do you mean, Anonymous?"
>Say it, dammit.
>Anonymous looks straight at you, his pupils in the shape of hearts.
>"I wanna cuddle with you, and give eskimo kisses."
>Oh fuck, that made you cum right there.
"A-Anything else, Anonymous?"
>"I wanna hold your hooves."

>>28164640
"Horse physiology and bestiality aside, Celestia was a hell of a ride. I have no idea where she kept all that marecum, but it took me about a week to get the smell out."
>"Oh, Celest... UGH! I can't even say that anymore without thinking about you an-"
"Her sister wasn't as messy, but she was much more vocal. I think she may have given me tinnitus."
>"Stop, stop, STOP! I don't want to know what you're thinking anymore."
"... Your mouth is plenty wide, but that fat neck and skinny esophagus of yours would make coc-"
>"AAGH!"

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>>28164707
"Y'know, it's not Blueblood's fault he's such a prick. It's just that Canterlot is super conservative, and he's into stallions, so he's got some inner turmoil going on."
>"... Wait, really? Colt-on-colt is pretty hot-"
"It's the diapers that freak me out, honestly. The guy's kind of a basket case."

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>>28164567
>Twilight ruins Anonymous social life by making him admit all of the things everything thinks but is not appropriate for them to say.

>"Pinkie, I've never liked your Super-Duper-Extra Sweet Cinnamon Pie, and every time you make me eat one I have diarrhea for a week."
>"Rarity, every one of the outfits you have made for me I have silently burned in my backyard because the materials you use make my furless skin itch like mad."
>"Applejack, your cider was a disappointment and I think your brain as as large as the apples your grow, which are very small by Earth standards, by the way."
>"Rainbow, you're a cunt."
>"Fluttershy, Ms. Doe did not had an accident. She was, in fact, delicious."
>"Twilight, I knew you casted a truth spell on me, so I went with Zecora to remove it. I just wanted to tell you ponies that I'm done dealing with your shit. I'm moving to Gryphonia."

>>28158613
All this green by frosty-sempai... instead of jagog.
Me has a sad.

>>28164880
Ohhhhh sick burn!

>>28164765
"Eris has taken to watching me in the shower."
>"Wait, what? Who's Eris?"
"She's Discord or at the very least is some relative of him. I assume she's him because how many reality warpers can Diabeetus Colored Horse Land have?"
>"That's not how you say diab-"
"I'd fuck her. I've always wanted to fuck a reality warper, to be honest. I'm just not sure if it's gay or not. I mean, if she, or is it he, can change her form and gender at will what does that count as?"
>"I know I'm going to regret this, but buck it: why do you want to rut a 'reality warper'"
"Air quotes look like shit with hooves. Anyway, there's tons of kinky shit I've alway wanted to try but biology and physics keep getting in the way. Like, I've always wondered what it'd be like to a have giant balls and a three foot co-"
>"I really need to find a way to reverse this spell."
"-um starts to change her into my bimbo sla-"
>*bamfgiggle*
"ck lord of all Equestria. Man, teleporting sounds gay as fuck. Imma go fuck that reality warper."

>>28164880
You know, the Pinkie and Rarity issues are the sorts of things he probably could (and should) have just mentioned earlier.

>>28159567
>you taught Twilight how to graffiti a train
I dislike this anon tremendously. He is first class douchenozzle.

>>28164398
>>28164567
I need this.

>>28164481
That hurts me inside. I want to cuddle that horse.

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>>28164880

>>28164567
>"There was this one time I caught her rubbing her cunt all over my things. My house smelled like marecum for a week."
"Wh-what?"

>>28164650
>You're furiously rubbing yourself against the carpet, looking for relief.
"Keep going."
>"I want to look into your eyes when I rub your belly."
>Oh, FUCK, Anon is kinky!
"More!"
>"Before we fall asleep in each other's arms, I want to whisper into your ear that I love you; that I'll always love you, and that nothing will ever, EVER change that."
>Great.
>Now you're horny AND you're sad.
"Wh-what else?"
>"I want to hold you to my chest and tell you that magic, even truth spells, doesn't work on humans."
>Anon picks you up for a hug and you spray his legs with your juices.

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>>28165101
>>Now you're horny AND you're sad.
>"Wh-what else?"
>>"I want to hold you to my chest and tell you that magic, even truth spells, doesn't work on humans."
daww

>Anon picks you up for a hug and you spray his legs with your juices.
and then that happened

>>28165139
>"I want to hold you to my chest and tell you that magic, even truth spells, doesn't work on humans."
>Anon picks you up for a hug and you drop that SuperGulp of slurpee on his legs.
>Anon doesn't seem to mind; he's too busy eskimo kissing you and holding your hooves to notice.
>You wrap your arms around his neck and nuzzles his cheeks.
>Leaning in close, you whisper:
"What else do you want to say?"
>Anon smiles and whispers back.
>"I want to tell you that you make me happy, and that you're a very important person to me."
>Such forbidden words! Oh, if your mother heard about this...
>You hug him close.
>This is WAY better than the submissive sandwich-stallion you were hoping for.

>>28165139
Did his cane have the 8 pointed star on it?

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>>28165215
Twilight hugs and cuddles are always nice.

>>28165238
Bookhorse needs more love. She needs to be held and assured that you'll always love her. She needs to cuddled and hugged tight when she sleeps.

This thread has just devolved into softcore at this point.
and I love it

>>28165231
it was in fact a warhammer40k reference.

>>28165278
>”I want to suck your-“
“Twilight, think carefully about what you’re about to say.”
>”Wait hold on” Twilight stopped, and began rifling through a nook she magiced out of thin air.
>”I know I read it in here… somewhere… ah found it!”
>Clearing her throat, Twilights expression changed into a more focused one.
>”I want to suck your blood!”
>Striking a, what she thought was an intimidating pose, Twilights cape billowed behind her.
“Yeah, not happening. So knock that off. You’re not a vampire or anything of the sort.”
>”But I am, Princess Celestia said that with our great power also comes a dark side. This is mine.”
“Are those plastic fangs?”
>”Maybe.”
>Twilight looked a bit sheepish at that.
>”My real ones haven’t sprouted yet.”
>What kind of nonsense was Celestia feeding your marefriend.

>>28165629
You thought I was your marefriend Twilight, but it was I, DIO!

>>28165641
“Twilight come back to bed, you know how cranky you get when you don’t get enough sleep.”
>Twilight stood in front of your bedroom window, starring outside into the darkness.
>”I’m now a creature of the night Anon, now is when I feel alive.”
“Right, well go right on ahead. But rest assured that creatures of the night don’t get snuggles or pancakes for breakfast.”
>Before you could even blink Twilight lay right next to you, her warm body pressed into yours, the soft silken fur tickling your bare flesh.
>”I guess tonight I will spare the townsponies from our hunt.”
“Sure you will. Now sleepy time.”
>Encircling the purple mare with your arms you hugged her close.
>You really needed to talk to Celestia about this garbage she’s been telling Twilight.

>>28165629
>Twilight is convinced that she's becoming a vampire
>Tries her best to act spooky and scary but just acts so FUCKING adorable
>eg running around giggling in a black cape and trying to scare ponies
>Jumps out of bushes but gets her cape stuck
>Tries to stay up late to be a night-stalker, but gets too tired and falls asleep early
>Her plastic fangs make it hard to talk, making her mumble
>Sometimes the fangs fall out mid evil speech and she has to stop to clean them before putting them back in her mouth
>Can't bite necks to drink their blood, so she just tackles other ponies and licks them instead
>She and her "victim" are left a giggling pile of pone

I've always enjoyed the "Chaste Anon has mares make sexual advances on him, and he isn't sure what to do" type stories

>Be anon in poneland
>Go out to buy food because too lazy to remember to stock the fridge
>Suddenley, see PurpleHorse at market place
>oh no
>try to keep head down, but all these horses are too short for you to be able do blend in
>"Hey, Anon!"
>Shitshitshitshit
>there's nowhere to hide
>PurpleHorse walks up to you
>"Heeey Anon, fancy meeting you here..."
>she bats her eyelashes
"Um... Y-yeah."
>"You out buying some food?"
>Gotta think fast
"Uhh, actually, I was just finished buying things!"
>she gives a non-beleiving glare
>"But you've only got, like, two tings in your bag"
>shit
"Well, I uhh-"
>"Well, if you're out looking for something to eat, why don't you come back to the castle with me... I'm sure I have SOMETHING you'll like.
"Oh, well it's just-"
>she starts getting closer
>"In fact, I've got something REALLY tasty in mind that I think you'll LOVE."
>oh god, not like this
"U-um I-i don't-"
>"why, if you're really hungry, you could even have some right now... there's plent of secluded allyways near by"
"W-what-?"
>"Come on, I'm sure you'll enjoy what I want to give you..."
"I-I don't think I-"
>"Come on, let's go!"
> she grabs your sleeve and starts pulling you away
>oh god, why?

>>28165720
>Ah what a wonderful dream, the cheese flows down cracker mountain and the jello cups jiggle with their happy smiles as you lean down to eat one.
>Suddenly the jellos attack you with a rage for your consumption!
>No longer they cry biting into your neck?
>Jerking awake you try to move, only for a heavy weight atop of you.
>"Mmfmfm..."
>Straining your eyes in the dark you make out Twilight atop of you nuzzled deep into your neck.
>Ouch!
>She bit you!
>Granted it was more like a hicky, but still!
>Gently moving the mare off your neck after a surprising amount of resistance you frown at your purple pony princess.
>"I am the niiiight."
>Silly princess, that's Luna's thing.
"No, you are the books!" You whisper back.
>"Mm, books. Gimme..." Twilight reaches out to you before cuddling into your side.
>You sigh ready to drift only to feel her mouthing at your arm now.
>...You're talking with Celesita first thing in the morning.

>Anon has a nightmare while Luna is spying on his dreams
>It's nothing serious by human standards, probably caused by late-night snacking
>Luna is traumatized
>"How can a mere colt's mind conjure such horrors? What other monstrosities dwell within his fair brow?"

All these greentexts overlapping... What's going on??

>>28165939
>The guards in front of the castle should have tipped you off that something was going on.
>Little horses tried to stop you from going into your own home.
>Fat chance.
>You put one in the trash can, the other well you put him on the lower branch of the tree.
>He was terrified and called you a meanie, which you didn’t give two shits about.
>What you did give a shit about was Twilight, and who was here based on the guards presence.
>You barely walked through the door, when you heard the instigators voice.
>”Twilight, your dark powers are growing. Before your final transformation you must complete the ritual.”
>Seriously, you were going to bend Celestia over your knee and give her such a whoopin.
>”You must absorb the essence of life from Anonymous.”
>”His essence?”
>”That correct, it’s the only way.”
“And do tell how exactly she’s going to do that?”

>Be Celestia
>Your hind end hurts, a lot.

>>28166019
Every nightmare I've ever had was terrifying in the moment, but nonsensical as fuck when I woke up.
Like a sentient tornado that spread vines that trap and kill you, and hampsters that live in bags of dogfood that turn people into zombies.

I am positive she would be very traumatized by these

>>28166084
I usually get the one where I'm fighting someone, but I'm moving way too slow to hurt him.

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Twilight's not just written as a villain, now she IS a villain.

She's uncouth, rude, and would totally hit a colt!

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>"It's sorrowful and lonely here, traveller. Tell me a story."

>>28166194
>Be Anon, walking through the market
>You got a good deal on some rice, now all you need is celery and maybe some meat from the griffon hunter
>Oh hey, it's purplesmart
"Oh hey, Purplesmart!"
>She glares at you
>"D-don't call me that! Ass!"
>Well that wasn't very ni- D'oh!
>Did IntelligentLavender just hit you in the nads?
>Yep, yes she did

>Be Twilight
>Oh Celestia, what have you done?!

>>28166239
>>Did IntelligentLavender just hit you in the nads?
>>Yep, yes she did

what i got from this is the fact that it didnt hurt at all and was just more stating a fact so this came to mind almost instantly

>silly tiny horse, marshmallows cant punch very hard

>>28165762
>>Can't bite necks to drink their blood, so she just tackles other ponies and licks them instead
SCRAPE

AND LICK

>>28165773
You mean "real life actual Anon"? I'm a fan too.

>>28166019
>Luna sneaks into Anon's house and watches him sleep, a troubled look on her face.
>Gently stroking his hair with a forehoof, she whispers partly to him and partly to herself.
>"Who hurt you, Anon?"

>>28166019
>not having dream tea parties with eldritch monstrosities on a nightly basis

>>28166348
HEY ANON YA WANNA SEE TWILIGHT DANCE?

>>28166172
I usually fight and kill just fine in my violent dreams, but usually end up dying by the end half the time.

>>28166284
What I got from this is that Anon read a post about Anon getting hit in balls and then responded to it.

>Anon states the obvious

>>28166394
You guys sound like you get some neat nightmares, I usually just get the spider dream.

>>28166536
Are they really nightmares if you wake up feeling fine though? I like them.

>>28166553
Ahh, I get the shit with temporary full body paralysis, Waking up unable to move and thinking you're being bitten by thousands of venomous spiders is what I get.

>>28166578
The only time I had sleep paralysis I heard the screaming of the damned and 360 degree panoramic whispering.

Was fun.

>>28166578
Well, that is certainly not feeling fine. Sorry to hear you get night terrors, that sucks man. I never actually remember my dreams.

>>28166594
I remember some of mine every so often.

Like the one where I got in a knife fight and stabbed one guy in the chest several times, then caught a knife in the throat from the second guy.

Or another that was this frankly awesome mix of Halo and Afghanistan, fighting insurrectionist taliban next to a rolled over warthog in some sand dunes.

>>28166594
I've gotten used to it, I notice I tend to have them more often when stressed.
Besides, I haven't torn any skin off trying to scrape away spiders in years.

>>28165939
>You woke up to an odd sensation.
>It felt like some one was licking and gently sucking your neck.
>Oh for fucks sake.
“Twilight what are you doing?”
>”Twying tfu suck ywor eshenshe.”
“And how does licking my neck help accomplish this?”
>The slurping only intensified, the sensation of Twilights tongue on your neck, despite how nice it felt, was getting a little heated.
“Twilight, I’m going to count to three, that’s how long you have to stop.”
“One”
“Two”
“Three”
>The quick movement of you flipping her over earned a “eeep” noise from Twilight.
>She was now on her back , her eyes filled with worry.
>”What are you going to do?”
>Biting her lower lip, she shrank as you leaned over her small frame.
“Naughty pony’s must be punished.”
>Leaning down to her belly you began blowing the raspberry to end all raspberries.
>”No please stop!!”
>But you did not stop, there would be no mercy for evil little bloodsuckers.

---
I want to snuggle with a book horse, especially when she's half asleep and mumbling incoherently.

>>28166234
>Traveller
>Flashbacks of No Man's Buy.
>Dear god the potential was there, just out of reach, why didin't you finish it?!
>tfw you will never find Equestria and catalouge all the crazy ponies and races upon the planet.

>>28166613
>tfw all my dreams aren't cool
>tfw the only things I dream about are nonsensical conversations and landscapes
The biggest action I ever got in a dream is when I was flying through space dodging debris.

>>28166757
really? that sucks, ive had some kick ass freams over the years. i even had one about starship troopers (the movie not the book) that would make luna go insane.

>>28166019
>>28166084
At this point I actually WANT to have nightmares.

I think I used to have them when I was a kid. There was a recurring one where my pillow would float around my room and I'd have to jump off my bed to catch it...I don't know why that was scary to kid-me.

Now I don't have nightmares. Ever. I have scary MOMENTS in my dream, but never nightmares.

>>28167037
I've heard calea zacatechichi is good for that.

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>>28166659

>>28167037
A few years back, when I first got on the ride I got prescribed some stuff for quitting smoking. One of the side effects were extremely vivid dreams. One night I had one that felt so real I remembered everything from it. I was there, with all of them, never had a dream like that again after. Kind of wish I had kept taking it, but the other side effects combined with some previous anger issues really got me into some deep shit.

>>28167067
>That moment when silly bookhorse finds reasons to lick your face and steal kisses.

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>>28166019
>Anon arrives sometime before Nightmare Moon is freed.
>After escaping and imprisoning her sister she decides to dreamwalk.
>Just like old times.
>Comes across Anonymous.
>His dream is showing the obvious signs for a real whopper of a nightmare.
>She could use a laugh/light snack.
>Enters Anon's dream.
>A few minutes pass.
>Comes out sobbing and screaming in fear.
>Anon had that dream about skinwalkers again.

>Nightmare Moon becomes mesmerized by Anon.
>Starts calling herself the Queen of Nightmares.
>Decides he shall become the King of Nightmares.
>They meet, talk, and become friends.
>Though Anon is a bit concerned.
>She keeps saying things like "The light shall die and we shall rule."
>"We shall dance in the streets utop the frozen remains of Canterlot."
>But she seems nice otherwise.

>When she is defeated by the EoH
>something happens.
>Sensing her growing affection for another the elements refuse to harm her.
>Instead of being banished from Luna, they merely separate into two.
>Luna got the wings.
>Nightmare Moon got the horn.
>She bolts from the castle and kidnaps Anon.
>Gives a bit monologue about how they'll rule the night together.
>Anon is cool with it, thinks eternal night sounds great.
>This mare seems nice, and important, and powerful.
>Better go along with it for now, besides, it seems like fun.

>>28167119
Quitting cigs was easy for me, dip on the other hand..

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>>28167140
There was this story about Rarity helping Anon quit smoking but I can't find it anymore. It was really enjoyable.

>>28167140
I still dip on occasion, coppenhagan is my vice aside from jack daniels and vodka

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>>28167140
>quitting
Good.
I'll get to 'Questria before all the rest of you fags.

>>28167259
Not everyone that smokes lives a short life, y'know.

>>28167233
Amen, Mint is just too fucking good, and that blue can is sexy.
>>28167259
>quitting
I quit smoking. Because I used to smoke when I binge drank with friends I developed a Pavlovian response to puke shortly after smoking.

>>28166818
i just imagine Luna looking at all the muscly colt humans and wonder what they were doing, then the giant fucking beetle crawls out of the ground under her and she watches a bunch of dudes get melted. Anon is in the background on the ship laughing his ass off uncontrollably firing into the bug until Rico blows it up.

>>28167300
NOT WITH THAT ATTITUDE!

>>28166019

>The Princess of the Night was practially raving. Her eyes were wide and bloodshot. She barely seemed to notice her meal in front of her.

>"We're telling you 'Tia, it was horrible!"
>"The things in his mind are beyond comprehension!"
>"Twas as if the power of your Sun was unleashed upon the fair surface of Equestria. The ball of flame would have engulfed the entriety of Manehattan, with room to spare!"
>"And he was right in the middle of this titanic explosion. In the blink of an eye he was gone, burned away into nothing but a faint shadow burned into the ground..."

>Luna closed her eyes and shivered violently

>"That wasn't even the worst I saw in his mind. Despite it's horror, it was almost merciful in it's swiftness. I don't know how he can be so cheerful in his waking hours, when Death haunts his dreams. When suffering and pain and fear are such frequent disruptions to his rest."

>>28167400
Anon still has nightmares about the nuke scene from T2, I see.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pX9hL93HPMI

>>28167400
>Let's make it clear here: dreams in Equestria are awesome
>You're always aware of when you're in a dream here, so every night is a series of lucid madness
>Tonight, you've dedicated yourself to watching a series of nonstop explosions, growing exponentially in size each time
>And, since it's a dream, you wont burn your eyes out staring directly into them
BOOOM
"YEAAAHHH!"
>You think that one had just passed the Little Boy's blast raidus

>>28166019

>Luna refuses to walk on dirt or grass anymore.
Is found studying magical methods of detecting things underground
>When asked why she would only mumble incoherently about snakes and worms and something called a "graboid"...

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>>28167531

>>28167531
the first movie was great. the next two were complete shit.

>>28167345
that sounds kick ass actually. th reall dream was me and 7 other people (we were in lines of three) and we were going through one of those trenches from the third movie until we turned a corner an two guys were pulling open a very heavy door. once they get it open a hoard of the reguler bugs come out and starts slaughtering us. the row behind me turns around to shoot then dies immedeitly, then my row turns around. then i woke up. sorry for the bad grammer, i havent slept since yesterday.

>>28167573
its cool, and it sounds like the scene where the bugs just got through the fence and the soldiers couldn't get a firing line going. fucking brutal.

>>28167586
ive got others if want hear them, not about starship troopers though.

>>28167600
Fuck it, shoot out a few. A writefag that takes up the idea can use them to scare the shit out of Luna. Wait till your up though and your spelling gets better though, sleep is necessary.

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>>28166732
>"I've heard many stories like this."
>She sighs.
>"It's sorrowful and lonely here, traveler."

>>28167611
ill write one while the sleeping pills kick in.
this is all based off of a dream i had and is intended to inspire the wrightfags.


>you were anon
>dream anon to be more precise
>and you were having tons of fun
>since you came to Equestria you found that lucid dreaming is unbelievably easy
>the other night you dreamed that you were a U.S soldier in iraq, and the night before you dreamed that you were the king of the Prussian empire
>this time you were an NC heavy in a not so brutal firefight
>you were taking point "A" with a around 13 other people
>five heavy troops, two MAX's, an engineer for each, three medics and one light assault trooper
>their (there or they'er) were around two hundred or so other's outside in vehicles waiting to ass blast the vanu
>or the T.R, you didnt really pay attention in the briefing
>nobody said anything as the last of the bases nanites were all auto hacked and we all rushed to get in the few remaining a.p.c's
>as you abandoned your team (your weren't in a squad so its ok) and got in the backseat of a Harrasser you heard the commander yell in a heavy scottish accent
>HEAR THE MUSIC OF GLORY
>then the bag pipes started playing

anything i should change? i haven't done much i n the way of writing since high school.

>>28167703
just noticed an error
>their (there or they'er) were around two hundred or so other's outside in vehicles waiting to ass blast the vanu
replace the word "were" with "are" in your heads.

>>28167703
I love the bagpipes, MOAR! Also find a fun bagpipy song to post with it.

>>28167718
>find a fun bagpipy song to post with it.
already done ill post the next part in few.

>>28167703
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpOoPQ6JmbM
>the commander yelled again
>AONE TWO
>you were suddenly jerked back as the Harasser lurched forward with the power of 20 mildly annoyed Irishman
>you had a a grin so big even bozo the clown was jealous
>you could feel the wind go through the gaps in your armor and the bagpipes on your ears
>as you continued forth along with the ginormous wave of anti vanu ass blast you got out your rocket launcher
>it the standered rocket launcher fot the N.C but it will do just fine
>you looked up and saw many drop ships,gunships and fighters going ahead of the ground force to tushy tamper them from the air
>all the sudden their (there or they'er) was a hail of fire towards your group
>rocket launchers, anti vehicle turrets and reguler rifle fire hailed its way against the armored vehicles destroying a few of the Flashes that went ahead of the group
>the harasser you were in bolted forward over a rock and into the base limits with more just behind you
>you got out of the harasser along with the driver while the gunner stayed put
>you both went inside the building rushing forward clearing the building of and spandex trash along the way

>>28167827
>you could hear the fighting outside as you went up to a window and quickly look outside before ducking for cover after an energy bolt went by your head
>you quickly went to the second and looked out the window
>the group you were apart of had already deployed the sundys and were in the process of shutting down the outer shields
>you looked around for the driver but it appears he has fucked off to help the main force
>leaving you
"god dammit"
>you peer out of another window facing the vanu complex and spot the inner shield generator
"time for glory"
>you sneak out of the building with the quietness of one thousand drunk scotsmen sneaking out for more bear
>meaning not quiet at all
>you decided that sprinting as fast as you can across and open area while a battle was going on was a good idea
>it somehow was and your not dead via spandex ass
>you press a few buttons on the generator in order to destabilize it
>once its destabilized you run back to were you were before
>in a mostly bombed out metal building
>you see something in the corner of your eye but it quickly disappears
"was that a fuckin pony?"

i'm going to go to bed and leave the rest up to the writefags. goodnight you pony loving faggots.

>>28167847
Night time battles with Moonbutt? Yes please.

>>28167128
I like the first two parts.
Not so much the third.
Good prompt otherwise.

>>28166732
I've been meaning every planet and star system after Celestia, Twilight, and Sunset Shimmer. One I named Applejack.

>>28167827
>>all the sudden their (there or they'er)
Dude. You have the entirety of humanity's knowledge at your fingertips.

>>28167847
Some simple things.
1. Capitalize the first leter of EVERY sentence.
2. Put a period at the end of every sentence, unless a question mark or exclamation mark is needed.
3. The three "their"s are:
>1. Their: refers to one owning something, such as, "It was their cat who clawed the drapes."
>2. There: refers to a place, such as "The crates need to go over there."
>3. They're: is a contraction of they are, and should be used as such. Ex. "They're going to the pool later."

>>28168154
thanks, ill keep that in mind when i write the next part.

>>28164567
>Anon spews his dirty fantasies with ponies.
>Hey rainbow, I know it's edgy. But I'd like to break your wing so you can't fly away then forcefully pop your cherry.

>Hi sub but. You are too big to fuck because I'm not into beastalaty, you're in the uncanny valley of animal sex. Your sister though she's smaller and has a more slender frame. I'd love to fuck her till she's screaming. Then til she stops screaming.

>>28168259
Anon's or yours?

>>28168282
I am anon.

>>28167300
My dad smoked for 40 years and quit abou 5 years ago. He's 71.

>>28168154
Shush, Shukaku. You /know/ this won't help.

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Something requested in previous thread... because of previous thread. Bon-bon and tufts later

>>28168905
Bzz?

>>28168905
I-Is that ApApony? I like the drawing, pencil. The mane, especially. You're really becoming better at drawing, pencil.

>>28168921
Thank anon who designed her with that mane

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>>28168905
Holy shit bzz bzz
You are a hero

>>28168905
>When your colt turns up the vibrations.

>>28168937
Pencil-rgre-anon, are you the one drawing the pie adventures?

>>28169040
I told him to just post with his name, but he is half-anoning this shit for some reason.

>>28169040
Nope, I'm not Pencil (that's why I added "rgre" part). Just using pencils and paper mostly

>>28169050
Isn't this >>28168905 done on not pencil and paper?

>>28169079
Mostly, not always. And you can't use photo of pencil drawing as a react pic (that was requested)

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>>28169099

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>>28169112
And anons vectorized it to use properly. One in >bug even animated it

>>28169135
Sudden earthquake and flood levels the local changeling hive.

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>>28168905
Why are you the best?

>>28169135
>You're out of eggs
>Your carapace is starting to crack
>Your alien mate still wants more
#buglyfe

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That little mare downtown really want to be with you, Anon.
Why haven't you given her already what she wants?

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>>28169469
Lube up.

>>28168905
OR here
Thank you based Pencil

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>>28169494
Oh, I'll give it to her alright.

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>mfw I still can't horse even if horse is slightly better

>>28169112
>mfw the vibrations are too strong
that anon went way overboard, wtf was she even thinking

>>28168905
>mfw I'm not as qt as my sister

>>28169685
Why is she so angry.

>>28169696
She is a silly filly and just spilled her OJ.

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>>28169696
I don't know, but she scares me.

>>28169696
Egg Donor stole Anon's steaks. They were supposed to be for dinner.

>>28169135
>>28169469
>>28169502
>tfw you've run dry but colt's still ruttin'

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>>28169469
TOO MUCH
TOO MUCH

>>28169949
Thoroughly bred.

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>>28169469
>>28169949
>>28169973
>breeding the villains

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>>28169992
I'm a lover, not a fighter.

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>>28169992
>bugs
>villains

The ponies are the villains. Bugs literally need just love.

>doing villain things
>not leading the lings to build the great union with mighty hoof
>not showing them the bright sun of freedom above
>not making sure that the dream of the people is secure

>>28170117
Changeling only need love, anon produces massive amounts of love.
Comrade Anon Y. Mous can feed all,
All are equal
All Hail The Supreme Leader Y. Mous.

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>>28170117
>>28170169
I want to lead the hive to glory and prosperity.

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Hey [RGRE],
what should Twilight's list say?

Pencil original here http://imgur.com/a/CGdIf

>>28170213
hawt

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>>28170213
Nice work there, Mr. Vector Man.

>>28170213
"ur a faget"

>>28170263
no vectors
i'm using paint.net and obsessive compulsion

>>28170213
Do a version with Lal's list first. Why the fuck not?
Then imagine her going to the biggest fucking library of fucking books and do a list for that

>>28170278
yes i was planing to

want to give y'all opportunity to contribute

>>28158636
>The writefag herd settles into idle chitchat at the chineighse restaurant
>Some laughter
>A few notebooks passed between ponies
>Some suggestions, some notes - some playful "what if" crossovers are bantered around
>All in all, it's very, very comfy
>especially compared to the relative insanity of the con-
>*BANG*
>Coolkids lets out an uncontrollable stallionish squeal, and utensils are dropped in shock
>All heads turn towards the door that was just kicked in
"HEY COLTS WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY?!"
>Well *that* got all the colts in the restaurant screaming now
>LaP's muzzle scrunches slowly
>You can tell - it's the sound of granite-on-granite
>"Who the buck is-"
>The mystery mare leaps onto the table, striking a dramatic pose
>As one, the writefag herd groans/squeals/sighs/tries to use the emergency epipen they usually carry for this exact purpose
>"Wh-why do you smell like an apartment fire-"
"Ssshhhuuuuu, gentle Shukaku. There's no need to call the ponice....maybe."
>nipple tassels floating in the imaginary breeze, she addresses the wall with vim and vigor-
"IT'S STORYTIME FOALS-"
>Frosty reaches up in vain, trying to stab the sweet, sweet antipsychotic medicine into her target's thigh
>"NO BNW NO-"
>but it's too late. She unhinges her jaw and sings the song of her people: http://pastebin.com/pJ47xx9g

>>28170321
>ice ice ice ice ice you gotta get some ice
>oh BUCK why did this have to happen on your watch?!
>Historically a Queendom's rule goes to shit AFTER a couple generations, not a couple months!
>You summon all of Anon's ice - His ice chest, the fridge, even that little bag of unfrozen blue ice in his sock drawer
>You leave his glass pipe alone, though
>a stray thought enters your head
>how can blue ice be real if the cold isn't real?
>You shake your head from side to side - A MYSTERY FOR ANOTHER TIME
>You apply all the ice directly to his crotch...area
>... little higher?
>no. He's still groaning
>little low-
>"Ooohhh~"
>His hands fondle the ice in your magical grip
>l-lewd
>You would let him keep running his fingers through your magical aura, but, yanno
>There are witnesses
>waitaminute
"DERPY!"
>"YOU SAID I HAD AMNESTY-"
>The mailmare spreads her wings wide, looking around like a chamelion for an escape route
>independent eyes are spoopy
>But back to the matter at hoof
"Derpy, did you hear anything break? Is he bleeding -"
>Your eyes go wide as you invade her personal space
"Did you hear something POP?"
>Oh Celestia if a stallion was sterilized on your direct watch you might as well-
>"Uuuuggghhhh...."
>Anonymous unceremoniously falls to his side, curling up slightly - but his face isn't in as much pain as before
>"Just.... just give me a moment."

>>28170333
>You are Anonymous
>And you are recovering from the most passionate and forceful kiss your testicles have ever had
>It'd be sexy if it wasn't so painful
>You grip the plastic-wrapped ice, kneading it into your boys
>Easy there, lads
>Easy
>You tenatively spread your legs a bi-
>Nonono that hurts, that hurts way too much
>You close them again
"Just...ugh."
>You inhale deeply, trying to center yourself
>Focus on the breathing
>Not on the pain
>Yeah... there we go...
>After a few minutes you're able to sit up
"Thanks for the ice, Purpledrank."
>Twilight frowns, staring at your crotch
>....well fuck you too, Twilight, I'm just working with what I was give-
>"Take off your pants."
"Aha ha ha... what."
>She looks up at you with determination
>"I need to check for bruising, swelling and possible subdermal bleeding. Depending on the damage, we might need to take you to the hospital-"
>You shake your head
"No... no... just... I'm fine."
>"No, you THINK you're fine - we need a doctor to check you out-"
"Like you've been checking me out-"
>"I am being a professional-"
"Professionally checking me out-"
>"UUGH"
>Twilight stomps her hoovsies, which means you win again
>And that brings a small smile to your face
"Hey, so... Derpony."
>You turn to look at your mailmare
"What was th-
>She has on the truest face of regret
>The saddest pone
>ears flat back
>Tail tucked between her legs
>Eyes slightly watery, her forehooves holding her mailbag tightly infront of her
>She won't meet your gaze for more than a moment
>"A-anon, sir, I'm really sorry-"
>Your heart siezes up
"NNNNNNNGGGHH-"
>You spasm, violently, as you fight the widowmaker
>I'm a-comin', Mabel

>>28170213
>>what should Twilight's list say?
>Enchant cock and balls
>Ride enchanted cock and balls

>>28170341
>But at least Derpy's face brightens up considerably, breaking out into an uncontrollable smile
>"Gee, thanks Mr. Anon! That's really swell of you-"
>"SWELL?!"
>Twilight rounds onto Derpy, eyes wide
>"DERPY, ANON IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK-"
>Derpy giggles softly. "No, Twilight. He does that every time I uh... make a mistake and apologize. It's his way of saying he forgives me!"
>"I.. WHAT?!"
>Twilight looks down at you
>You twitch and froth at the mouth at her
>She looks at Derpy, who's bouncing happily to herself
>". . . Fuck me. Now I know why Luna drinks."
>Inhaling deeply and hitting your chest, the red begins to seep from your vision
>You live to see another day
>Again
"Guh... aah... hah..."
>You sit up again - this time quite woozy, holding onto the table to stabilize yourself
"Let's just.... be more careful next time, yes?"
>Derpy nods enthusiastically, while Twilight just looks at you with such concern
>Like Rarity does Opal when she reacts to catnip
>Like Fluttershy does one of her animals when they're mad with fever
>Like Applejack does anytime Applebloom opens her mouth
>You give her a look, and she drops it
>Damnit, those looks are expensive...
>Anyway
>Your subconsious has been nagging at you about something for quite some time
>Let's divert some brainpower to responding. Whatcha got, lizard brain?
>'WHY IS IT SO QUIET I DON'T LIKE IT WHY IS IT SO QUIET-'
>Uh...
>That's a very good thought.
"Hey... Twilight?"
>"Y-yes?"
"Why is it so quiet outside?"
>You see both ponies' ears swivel
>aww
>And they frown
>"That... isn't there construction supposed to be going on?"
>"And Diamond Dogs are never quiet...or orderly. Or not smelly-"
>You roll your eyes and get up - carefully - and make your way to the window
>. . .
>Well
>Your property values just went to shit
>There's about a dozen dogs rolling on your lawn - in unison - and just off your property
>in place of the road
>is what looks like a...

>>28170213
>get bred by apex predator

>>28170419
>You want to say a greco-roman coliseum, Parthenon, and festival all rolled into one
>Columns everywhere
>Vines n' shit tastefully climbing them
>I mean - is all that actual *marble*?
>And it looks like there's half a dozen minotaurs cooking up a feast
>You whistle appreciatively
>As one, the dogs on your lawn stop rolling around
>Damnit
>Why is the human master race always gotta have shit hearing arou-
>The dogs all roll towards you
>You screw your eyes shut, turning away
>WOW. That is... just... a lot of nipples
>You assume it's all happy barking outside, and you step away from the window
"Uh... not that I want to, uh..."
>"Combust?" Derpy queries
>"Complain." Twilight deadpans
". . ."
>You inhale deeply
"Shit."
>shit shit shit shit shit
>"You... ok, Anon?"
>You bite your lip
>The one thing you don't want to admit, you just might
>And if you do
>You'll never hear the end of it
"Nothing, just... thinking."
>"Well don't hurt yourself!" Twilight snarks, being rewarded with a half-melted bag of ice tossed in her direction
"Please."
>"Mm, you mean thank you, as in, 'Thank you, Princess Twilight, for taking such good care of me'." she sing songs at you
>Oh, my sweet summer child. Do not test me today.
". . . Anyway. What do you think we should do about these guys out here? I mean, traffic'll be hell tomorrow..."
>You feel something deliciously soft and warm press against your calf, and when you look you see Twilight 'innocently' pressing her tuft into your leg
>"Well, *I* think you should just let your resident Princess handle everything - you just relax and stop worrying your little-"
>Oh child.
>No.
"So, *princess*-"
>You grin, rounding on her
"I was supposed to go shopping today-"
>Her smug smile droops a little
>"Well. Just give me a list and I'll-"
"Nope."
>Oooh, she's frowning again.