What would I have to do to get a kiss from Twilight Sparkle?

>>28069262
Pay 45 bits

>>28069262
Kill yourself. Then at your funeral she will finally realize after all the rejection she gave you that she never gave you a chance and will kiss you on the lips before you are lowered 6 feet down and buried

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>>28069262
Maybe assassinating Celestia would get her attention?

>>28069262
Not being a faggot

>>28069262
Nothing, she isn't real!

Ask Tara Strong nicely?

>>28069262
>rape

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>>28069262
Just be yourself

>>28069262
just take it.
she likes that secretly.

>>28069331
DELETE THIS

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>"I had a really nice time tonight, Anon" chirps Twilight, looking up at you
>"And the food!" she moans "It's a good thing it was low fat"
>You grin
>You didn't have the heart to tell her she'd eaten a few day's worth of food in one sitting
>The two of you continue your walk before she comes to a stop
>You turn and see her nervously tracing patterns into the dirt with her hoof
>"So, uh" she begins "I don't know if we can do this again any time soon"
>You heart sinks
>You knew this was the risk you took hoping to woo the Princess
>"I mean. I'd really like to do this again" she adds quickly "It's just, I'm so busy and don't know if I can find the time to see you again"
>"It could be weeks until we see each other" she concludes sadly
"Yeah. Yeah" you mumble halfheartedly and she rubs a wing on the back of your leg in comfort
>A devious smile works its way onto her face
>"You know Anon. I never do this on the first date, but since you're going to be so patient..."
>Before you can react the mare flaps up beside you and places a quick peck on your cheek, just beside your lips
>"Hold onto that one, you're not getting another for a while!" she laughs, waving and flying away
>You cup your hand over where the kiss had landed
>You weren't going to let go

>>28069262
Suck her dick

>>28069262
Well, first of all you'd have to go to Equestria.
Then play muh culture card and tell her that humans greet by kiss on the cheek (see old people in Eastern Europe so it's not like you're lying).
Or just try really hard to get her to fall in love with you. How? I can't really imagine. You could talk with her about your world and all that's great about it and slowly work it from here.

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>>28069262

>>28069338
Well that was cute.

Since I'm actually quite adept at the game, I can tell you it's this easy, so long as you have a pretty face like me.
>Approach her.
>Get down one knee, at eye level with her.
>Cup her chin with your hand, with utmost gentleness.
>Give her a quick peck on cheek, then smile softly.

You have now kissed Twilight Sparkle. And possibly captured her heart.

>>28069338
>chirps Twilight,
What the fuck is she, a bird?

>>28069287
Then Applejack'd get up and she'd say:
>Folks, we are gathered here to moan and groan over our brother Anonymous, who hung hisself by a rope up in Fluttershy's shed.
Then there'd be weepin' and wailin', from some of the mares. Then she'd say:
>Anon was the most misunderstood man in Equestria. People used to think he was a mean ugly feller and call him a dirty skunk and an ornery pig-fucker-
>But the folks that really knowed him
>Knew that beneath that cum-stained T-shirt he always wore
>There beat a heart as big as all outdoors!
>Anon loved his fellow pone.
>He loved the birds of the air and the beasts of the field. He loved the mice and the vermin in the barns, and he treated the rats like equals, which was right. And he loved little foals. He loved everything and everypony in the whole world! Only he never let on, so nopony ever knowed it.

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>>28069262

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>>28069262
Don't. Pick a real pony instead

>>28069262
She's not real, so you never will.

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>>28069972

>>28069262
You start by removing your penis from her mouth