You're getting married to Rarity today What are your vows?

>>27957293
i vow to buy 4chans with a 4chin and add a script that instantly bans all users who make a thread with an image.jpg file.

>Will you take this mare to be your wife?
>Nope.

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>>27957296

>>27957296
Too bad that's .png

>>27957293
I promise not to fuck her sister.

Okay, maybe only on the weekends and holidays.

>>27957293
Your not Ponka!

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>I, Anon of the Ymous clan do vow to honor, protect, and love this pony before me, til this hear of mine has beat its final beat, and sometime after that. I promise to be her's and her's alone no matter what. If the wind tries to blow us apart, I stand fast by her side. If the sea tries to wash us away, I stand fast by her side. If the sky itself opens up and rains fire upon us, I stand fast by her side. In the best times, the worst times, and the ugly times, I stand fast by her side. Til death do us part, Amen."

Kinda cheesy, I know. You do better.

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>>27957419

I promise to be a big guy

>>27957509
Dont make promises you cant keep.

>>27957293

>I take you to be my partner for life,
I promise above all else to live in truth with you
>And to communicate fully and fearlessly,
>I give you my hand and my heart
As a sanctuary of warmth and peace
And pledge my love, devotion, faith and honor
>As I join my life to yours.

>>27957553
>>27957419
all me

>>27957293
I vow to dump you and hook up with Apul

>>27957296
You are a hero

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>>27957585
>"If anypony here has any reason why these two should not be wed, let them speak now or forever hold their peace"
>Silence
>"Well then, Anon, you may now kiss the-"
>With a deafening bang, the doors to the town hall burst open
>Applejack marches through them and up to the podium
"Applejack, I-"
>"Anon" she interrupts "I don't know much about love but I know about dirt. And trees grow outta dirt, and apples grow on trees!"
>The crowd look at one another in confusion
>"So, I guess what I'm sayin' is..."
>"ANON, WILL YOU BE MAH' APPLE?"
>You turn to Rarity, who gently dabs at her eyes
>"Oh Anon, go to her. I understand" she smiles through her tears
>You turn back to her
"I do" you declare
>Applejack pulls an apple out of her saddlebags before jamming it over your hand and around your wrist
>Apple juice sprays over the both of you and Rarity
>Leaping into her hooves, the mare carries you out of the town hall to the cheers of onlookers and Applejack's family
>"And we didn't even need the shotgun!" cheers Granny and her grandchildren nod in agreement

>>27957670
A poor choice really

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>>27957293
I love you... rarity
I need you...rarity
I can't live without you....
Rarity

>>27957670
apul/10

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>>27957293
>"I, anon Y mous, swear that should you ever leave, or cheat on me, I will brutally murder and gut you before stuffing you and putting you in my living room so we may be united forever."

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Why on earth am I marrying Rarity, is it for her Jewessbux? Is she blackmailing me?

I don't even buy into the 'worst pone' type mindset but she's my least favorite of the six

>>27957293
Getting a divorce.

>>27957293
Thou shalt be a faggot 'til the day he dies.

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>>27957293
But our anniversary isn't for another few days. Oh well.

>"I Anon, swear to bound myself to you, and only you. I promise to display the love, care, adoration, and loyalty you and only you deserve. Your beauty outshines even Princess Celestia, and my love is strong enough to move mountains, and split oceans. My love, I wish to remain by your side, to wake up and fall asleep next to your beautiful face until death do us part.
>Rarity sheds a tear from her eye, her makeup slightly running.
>The overseerer turns to you.
>"Do you, Anon, take Rarity to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
>"I do."
>"And, Rarity, do you take, Anonymous, to be your lawfully wedded husband."
>She sniffles in joy
>"I do."
>The overseer turns to the crowd of ponies gathered to see you.
>"I now then with the power of the Governing body of Equestria, pronounce you, mare and monkey."
>You and Rarity pull in for a deep kiss sealing the deal.
>The crowd cheers, as Sweetie Belle, and her CMC friends jump for joy.
>"My sister is married! My sister is married!"
>Rarity's parents, specifically her mother, is in tears too, as she leans onto Magnum.
>"My little girl's a wife now. I'm so happy."
>Then Rarity's friends, especially the pink one, clap their hooves and celebrate.

>This truly is a magical place.

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>>27958240
This is a sweet thread

>>27957293
>Her hoof in your hand, she's shaking like a leaf.
"I vow to be your Tom *cheeky laughter from the crowd* as you have been mine, to give you my life, my heart, my soul, to honor and hold you through both calm seas and stormy waters. And that our love will never tarnish, so long as we both shall live. But I can't vow to have good fashion sense so you'll have to cover me there."
>A chorus of laughter.
>"Anon, I vow to be your friend, partner, lover and wife with every ounce of my being. I shall cherish each moment we share, in harmony or peril, with joy in my heart that I have you in it. And to make your adjustments or sew your ripped trousers when you forget that breakfast is two donuts, not two dozen."
>Another chortling from the crowd.
>The ring is levitated up to your finger, and with some awkward difficulty, slid on.
>You slide the ring down Rarity's horn.
>"I now pronounce you, man and mare! You may kiss the bride."
"But I'm not even real, Rarity."

>>27957296
FIRST POST BEST POST

>>27957528
YOU BETTER HOLD ON TO YOUR PROMISES

>>27957293
>I promise to give you hot monkey dick every night even if you "don't want it"

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>>27957293

>>27957419
>Anon of the Ymous
cringe of the week

>>27957296
Image size limit.

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>>27958240
A-anon...

>>27957293
To love her forever and ever no matter what ;_;

>>27958462
How is that cringe?

>>27957553
This is pretty good.

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>>27958240
>monkey

>>27957293
get a divorce