Derpy Thread

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http://pastebin.com/5WHqRMsC
>>27949677
>You sit nervously, waiting for Derpy to make the first move to say or do something
>After all, one wrong move could spell disaster
>She inches closer to you, and takes your hand in hers
>"Thank You, Anon, for everything."
>What to say, what to say?
"It was nothing, really. I haven't done much, unless you count carrying your bags."
>The cute little lady next to you squeezes your hand tighter, and leans her head against your shoulder
>She chuckles and lets out a sigh of content, signaling that she may no longer be on the verge of breaking down into tears
>Bomb has been defused
>"I don't know if it's because of how my life has been, or if I'm just too sensitive, but just you being nice to me has meant so much. I love it, really, having someone just treat me like a person again."
>Her presence against your body is so warm, it warms you all the way to your heart
>Oh yeah, gotta say something in response
"Well, how about I treat you to something even better, like Sunday dinner tomorrow?"
>On the one hand, her head leaving your shoulder leaves a cold air where there once was gentle warmth
>On the other hand, her beautiful golden eyes looking into yours with such happiness and desire keeps your heart nice and toasty
>"Really, you'd do that?"
"Sure, a nice, quiet dinner would be a chance for me to get to know the two of you better."
>Derpy, judging by her face, just remembered something important and, by the looks of it, kinda sad
>"Dinky won't be there, though, she has softball practice at the school."
"On a Sunday?"
>"Yeah, and parents aren't allowed ever since those jerks came and heckled the other parents' kids. A fight broke out and, yeah."
"Wow, so they basically ruined it for everyone, huh? Do you still get to watch her games?"
>"Yeah, they have more security staff when there's a game."
>She sighs again, but this time it's not contented
>"Looks like that idea was a bust"
>Bomb has been planted
>Think of something, quickly, Anon

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>>27949677
Derpy is a very diligent and hard-working mare that deserves to be told that she did a good job.

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>>27949859
I want to give her a big hug and let her tell me all about her day.

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>>27949884
I want her to tell me about how she delivered the mail and how she made that one pony really happy by delivering to him a letter from his long-lost brother.

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>>27949859
I agree completely
>>27949807
"Well, look at it this way: yeah. it's too bad Dinky can't join us, but on the bright side, it'll be a nice, quiet date, just the two of us."
>Judging by the volume of her gasp, you either just clutched, or choked
>"A date?! Really?! You want to- Ahhh!"
>She suddenly jumps from the couch and starts looking left and right frantically
>"What will I wear?! What kind of makeup should I-"
>But before she can finish, you cut her off by gently grabbing her wrist and guiding her back to the couch
"Relax, Derpy, it's not like that. You're fine as you are, so don't worry, just make sure you enjoy yourself, okay?"
>At first she looks like she's going to cry again, but instead she gives you a grin that makes you feel strangely at ease
>"Well then, you should know I don't kiss on the first date."
"I know, you can't wait that long."
>As she realizes what you mean, she pouts, recognizing her defeat at the hands of your far superior wit, cultivated by many days with your equally witty and sarcastic friends in college
>But maybe, going by that mischievous grin, she has another trick up her sleeve
>"You're right. I can't wait. The question is, can you?"
>Beep beep, motherfucker, there's the bomb again
>"I bet there's all kinds of things you'd love to do to me, Mr. Abyss. So many unspeakable things, so tell me, Anon, what are you going to do?"
>She's teasing you pretty hard, but you're not going to fall for that
>What she does next, however, you're not prepared for
>She sits down on the couch and spreads her arms, and for the first time you take a good look at her body
>Her waist curves inward, and her hips curve outward, making a perfect shape your eyes can't help but follow
>Her legs are slender but toned, her calves in particular looking rock-solid
>Her chest, which you take care not to stare at for too long, is modest, yet it complements her figure perfectly
>"Go ahead Anon, I'm all yours, do whatever you like too me."
>This is all too much

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>>27949924
>>27949807

Pop quiz. Based on these last two posts, which game have I been paying way too much of lately?
Also here's more Derp

Captcha: You have to select ALL the eggs

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>>27949677
MUFFINS MUFFINS MUFFINS

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>>27950093
BAKA BAKA BAKA

>>27949895
How can a fictional magic horse be this cute?!

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>>27950227
So what you're saying is, My Little Pony Can't Be This Cute ?

Page 9
Guys please

>>27949859
Actually Derpy is a very stupid pony with a smelly butt that's 100% not cute.

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>>27951976
FITE ME IRL FAGET I FUCKIN DARE U