Satyr Abomination Thread #177: Skeletons are bad Edition

>>27892150
The skeletons have done nothing wrong. All they want is to give the satyrs a hug and welcome them to the skeletons' home.

>>27892249
#skeletonlivesmatter

>>27892260
Dawn and Radiance seems to disagree.

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>>27892355

What's the point of asking what edition we want if you're never going to use it?

>>27892491
Might not have been the same guy who asked. That guy might have fucked off to go whack it and Guy B decided to make his own edition.

>>27892491
Maybe because I'm not the one who asked for an edition, and instead just went with a random one that just popped into my head so we could have a new thread?
>>27892591
Yeah, this.

Look, I'm really sorry if one of you were already planning to create a new thread, but you took such a long time to do it that I thought you abandoned your idea so it'd be best if I just went and made the new thread instead so we at least had a thread to move on to.

>>27893216
Man, Yuzu's going to be pissed when she finds out that Hope borrowed her captain's coat.

>>27892150
>bullying the vitally challenged
they need to check their privileges

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I'M SO FUCKING RATTLED, FUCK YOU OP

>>27893279
>Borrowed
Bitch, Yuzu is a fucking cunt. Not even half the Captain Hope is! LONG LIVE THE HEARTSTRING PIRATES!

>>27893563
>Questioning the true captain.
Dread-Captain Yuzu has flayed men alive for lesser slights, and she alone understands that to be successful in a life of villainy on the high seas requires you to be feared. Your men must fear your wrath more than they fear the hangman's noose or the enemy's blades.

Hope should go back to dancing for loose change down by the docks there she belongs.

>>27893711
True captain? She's a daddy's girl who cries at the thought of spilling blood! She is a CHILD. Hope earned her gold, earned her crew. Yuzu is a farce, nothing more. She is nothing.

>>27893711
>>27893962
>"So when do you think our dads will stop beating each other up?"
>"No idea. Pass the popcorn."

>>27894005
This is the best reply posted all thread so far.

>>27893962
>She's a daddy's girl who cries at the thought of spilling blood
Only because she thinks it's a terrible waste to spill perfectly good blood when she could have drank it instead.

>>27893962
Hope earns her gold alright, by sucking down chode in public toilets while Yuzu's out stealing the Equestrian Crown Jewels and capping bitches with her flintlocks.

>>27894256

>"Miss Yuzu?"
"Give it to me straight, doctor, do you know what's wrong with me?"
>"I'm sorry, I'm afraid you have HIV."
"What?! How could this happen? I've never even had sex except with da- Uh, nevermind."
>"Can you think of any way you could have come into contact with any infected bodily fluids?"
"Well... Shit."

>>27894268
>Implying
Yuzu doesn't even tie her own boots properly. She hasn't even noticed Hope's got someone in her crew cutting her profits. Hell, even knowing this she's too stupid to figure out who.

>>27894310
Fucking stupid ass bat... This is Hope's greatest rival? Disappointing.

>>27894371
She doesn't need to figure out who because she's ruthless enough to slaughter her whole crew to weed out the guilty one if necessary. Not only that, but her reputation alone guarantees she could drum up a fresh batch of recruits within a matter of days and be pillaging and plundering again in no time.

I'd continue to argue, but I feel a wicked hangover coming on and I need to rest. Though before I go, would some green that focused heavily on the swordplay aspect of Yuzu's pirating career be of any interest to the thread? If so then I may write something tomorrow if I remember. No guarantees, my memory's shit after I've been drinking.

>>27894610
>Always using recruits
>Implying she will ever be successful this way
Wow... That's like releasing your team when they get into their late 20s, going back to route 1, and catching fresh whatevers. How is she supposed to be the very best if she can't even get past the 30s?

Which satyr parents are more likely to get a divorce?

>>27896568
Gumdrop's, Rory's, Garret and Sapphire's, Blare's, and Blue Bonnet's.

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>wake up to a fight between Captain Hope and Captain Yuzu
Eh, I've awoken to stranger things being discussed.

>>27897694
This...this is childhood.

>>27897694
cute

>>27897694
I actually had an idea similar to this for a story. Yuzu and Hope sword fight, the "crews" cheering. Yuzu loses her sword. Hope closes in memacingly. A hard cut to kid Hope sitting on Yuzu's head as their friends laugh, saying Hope is the best captain. Yuzu pushes her off, tears up, calls her a butt head, and then runs home. They do make up later, then make out. Just two 8 years olds getting all nc-17. Like the thread wants, right?. But you did this, so you saved me an hour or so of writing and actually trying to find the motivation to write for this place again. Thanks Dj. I can continue to laze.

>>27897815
And my spoilers failed. Fuck you, 4chan. You no good sack of accumulated shit. Messing my jokes up.

>>27897819
I think it looks fine like this, like reading the descent into madness

But let's not be bitter, eh

>satyrs have an eating challenge
>yfw the winner is Snapshot
I know it's a stupid headcanon, but I can see him as the type that surprises everyone when he can eat huge amounts despite his petite frame. He can't help it that he has the metabolism of a mouse and what little sticks goes straight to his ass.

>>27898094
So he's asian?

>>27898094
>Sapphire, Prism, and Missy are all envious of Snapshot's ability to burn through food and still keep his figure
>Meanwhile the Apples are getting ready to host their family reunion fish fry and Fauna helped her mother catch netfuls of fish
>Applejack says they need atleast twice as much

>>27898138
>Fauna
>An apple
Flutternon and Applenon are family?

>>27898159
Nah, but they're close friends like all the Mane Six families. Applejack just asked Flutters if she would help out with the fishing part.

>>27898168
Ohhhh. Gotcha.

>>27898159
They could be!... If one of the Flutterkids married an apple.

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>>27896568
Yuzu's. Her dad's been married twice and divorced twice already, so that's not exactly the best track record. He just doesn't do well when he has to share his affection between his waifu and his darling precious little daughteru(s).

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>saving the little pup from a group of wandering thugs, the mysterious blind swordswoman Melody takes Laika-chan under her wing

>>27898856
>>saving the little pup from a group of wandering thugs
Those weren't thugs, they were scarecrows. Melody just took their silence when she walked into one of them as a threat and chopped it to pieces.

>>27898928
>thus, Melody unknowingly became a pupnapper

>>27898406

"Girls, can you stop lezzing out for, like, five minutes please?"
>Both Murmur and Yuzu break apart with a popping of the lips and turn to their father.
>"Not until she takes it back about me being a bad kisser."
>"You are a bad kisser, that's why you can't keep a boyfriend!"
>"I can't keep a boyfriend because dad has stupidly high standards and always scares them off with his navy seal story."
>"God, you're such a crybaby bitch."
>"Slut!"
>"Skank!"
>"Damn you, c'mere and let me show you how it's really done!"
>With that, both sisters wrapped their arms around one another again and continued their makeout session with renewed vigour.
>Anon gave a defeated sigh.
"You two need a mother figure in your lives so bad... At least take it up to your room, I have a lady friend coming over in half an hour."

>>27898949
Poor Laika was a trusting little puppy when she was younger. She'd follow people for miles if they caught her interest.

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>>27897694

>"So you're the dreaded captain Yuzu, eh? Ha! I was expecting the one they call 'The Butcher of Manticore Bay' to be taller."
>Yuzu grinned, exposing her long fangs to her opponent as she easily dodged their incoming attack.
"You've heard of me, I see. Tell me, do you know why it is they call me that?"
>Again Yuzu sidestepped an incoming strike, making no attempt to land a blow of her own.
>"They say you rounded up the entire crew of a ship you'd boarded and had your men dismember them one by one until the captain told you where he'd hidden the key to the treasure room down in the hold."
>Laughing, Yuzu spun to face an incoming thrust from behind, before effortlessly parrying it and delivering her own mortal slash to her attacker's jugular.
>Stepping over her latest victim, she advanced towards her opponent.
"I see you know your stuff, but perhaps what you don't know is that almost half those we captured were women and children... We'd already begun cutting the neck of the captain's wife before he at last told me what I wanted to know."
>With lightning speed, Yuzu made a low thrust aimed at her opponent's leg.
"Too bad he left it as long as he did, because by that time it was too late to stop the bleeding and she died anyway."
>The other captain scowled.
>"You're the sort of vermin that gives us all a bad name."
>Yuzu gave a mocking shrug.
"At least I have a name worthy of remembering, unlike some. I don't think I've heard of you, Miss...?"
>"That's captain Hope to you, filth!"
>Yuzu smirked.
"Hope? Is that some sort of nickname? Well in any case, it suits a pretty girl like you."
>The two clashed swords, grappling with one another to gain leverage.
"Do you want to know what I did with the last pretty girl that was on this ship?"
>"You talk too much! Why don't I introduce you to Hack 'n Slash here?"
"You named your swords? How cute!"
>"Lots of people name their swords."
"A lot of cunts, maybe."

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>>27899139
This ends in sex.

>>27899185
Poor bunny girls. Always getting raped wherever they go.

>>27899255
They're the elves of the satyr world.

>>27899255
Amongst bunnies rape, is known as struggle cuddles and is a simple fact of daily life.

>"There you are, Cottonball! What happened, I thought we agreed to meet up at four?"
"Sorry, I was pulled into a back alley on my way here and got struggle cuddled by five guys."
>"Oh, no worries then, the same thing happened to me last week. I was beginning to think something bad had happened and you couldn't make it."

>>27897694
Hey, DJ, would it be too much to ask for a few doodles of the various pirate captain satyrs' different flags?

So far we've got Captain Yuzu, the blackest hearted villain to ever sail the seas, and captain Hope, the up and comer with everything to prove. I wonder who else would choose the pirate's life?

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>>27900034
>Pogo, a.k.a Sweet Beard, is infamous for raiding the rum and sugar stocks of his enemies. Formerly a cook for a previous pirate captain, his baking skills and comradery with the crew allowed him to stage a mutiny and take control of the ship. You can tell apart his ship, The Merry Jest, by spotting it's bright pink sails. If you smell the aroma of cake batter on the open sea, it's already to late

>>27900116
I thought Yuzu shot him.

>>27900163
She did? Oh well. I usually just skim over pirate Yuzu other than DJs comic.

>>27900185
It was a short green. It can be taken as canon or noncanon.
Personally, I like the canon of him being the laughable, lovable, goofy cook on Yuzu's ship.

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>>27900203
Pogo seems distinct enough to have his own ship, methinks. Meanwhile one of the Wonderbolt kids should be a sky pirate to round out the whole dynamic. What other abominations would you take as seafarers? Dawn and Sirius could head the Crown's Navy Fleet and hunt down the pirate scum messing with their lands. And the Dazzling kids would be actual Sirens.

>>27900280
Dazzling kids would be actual sirens.

"Hark lad, be wary of the siren's call or it'll herald your doom. Listen now, can you hear it?"
>Across the misty bay near Shipwreck cove, a ghostly voice drifted over the waves.
>"Oi, sailor boy! You wanna 'av a quick shag? Come 'ere an' stick it in my fish minge, ya fookin' nonce!"
"Yarrh... beautiful."

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>>27900362
I'm having flashbacks to the Chavtavia threads and it's great.

>>27900498
Why is it that chavs are such insufferable scum in real life, but when you turn a cartoon donkey into one it's suddenly cute and endearing?

>>27898856
>Laika-chan wonders why Melody has a big bowl on her head

It's Movie Night!
The Fifth Element and The Shawshank Redemption, starting approx. 1h 45m from now. Feel free to join the irc ( https://kiwiirc.com/client/irc.rizon.net:6660/?nick=Pony|?#mlpstreams or https://www.rizon.net/chat at #mlpstreams )
in the meantime

>>27900498
Chavtavia and her fokken brood of little shits

>>27901249
She has three. Has is that a brood?

>>27901249
>"Oi Mum! MUUUUM!"
"Shut the fook up Clef, I'm right 'ere, not daft! The bloody 'ell are you on about now, eh!?"
>"Treble's being a proper cunt about me horn solo! She called it a damn travesty to Baroque composers everywhere!"
"Wha, is that all? Frankly 'm on the side of yer sister 'ere, she's got more balls in her cunny than with your shitty intonation."

>>27901538
I'd like to write comedic greens like this, not just for Chavtavia but in general, but I struggle with how to type in order to portray an accent. I wish there was a dictionary with examples of how to spell them to look like they're being said in various different ways.

>>27892150
bump

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>>27902250
>tan lines

I don't care how edgy Thorn and her friends are.
Page 10 is not a place for satyrs.

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What sort of superhero would satyr turn out to be based on their looks, personality, and physical abilities?

>>27904908
Marvel or DC?

>>27904769
>Edgy
She's hardcore... Idiot. https://youtu.be/cVAEu0KUiaA

>>27905036
>Trying to start a war
>Unintentionally

>>27905148
I like both, even though Marvel is having problems, I still love King's Vision, Chulk, and Moon Knight. DC has been on a streak with Rebirth and Hanna Barberra. I can't wait for the Flinstones comic about picking marriage over "the traditional sex cave."

>>27904908
Pogo would be plastic man

>>27905036
Nah, just type of abilities and junk. Like super strength, magical girl, time stop, etc. And a hero name if you're up for it.

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>>27904908
>superhero
>not a stand user
step up senpai

>>27905848
>Anime weeb trash
>Not glorious western written graphic novel gold
I know summer brought in the kids, but jeez Louise, Rick.

>>27905848
The Flash versus Za WARUDO!

>>27905891
Unironically i would pay to see that.

>>27905927
A man who can literally act while time moves close to 0 versus a man who can veritably stop time... As a math major; this is making me giddy.

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>>27904908
Icarus would have super speed just like Wally West and Barry Allen Flashes. He wouldn't learn how to speed force for a long time though.
Like I said pogo would be like plastic man. He is pratically indestructible and can stretch/shapeshift into anything. Although he would still have to fit the color scheme.
I'm not sure what Timber would be.
Garret I'm not sure with him either. I always saw Laika being sort of like a cat burglar.
Rory would be like a GL. Sure he's niche in that he can't turn a carrot into an orange, but he can make a bunch of bullshit with his magic.
Utah and Bucky would probably be the one that is closest to street level. Well above average when it comes to the limits of both humans and earth pony with a healing factor that isn't as bullshit as wolverine.

>>27905891
Barry wins because speed force. In fact, it's so bullshit that when Zoom figured out how to stop time, Barry used speed force to move time foward, making it not matter that zoom stopped it.

>>27906044
>Barry Allen op
>Plz no nerf
I freaking love Barry... Wally a shit, compared to Barry.

>>27906044
>Timber
Gonna guess super HUMAN strength Super strength is completely different; people need to learn this. and great jumping ability. Obviously the power of flight; but that's natural. I would say he is the equivalent of Connor Kent; but hyped up on red bull.

>Garret
Either a Green Arrow-esqu hero who uses money and gadgets; but is no way a Batman level gadgeteer, or a Lantern. I want to say Orange; because technically the Orange Lantern "corp" isn't objectively evil; just greedy. As FMA pointed out; greed isn't always bad.

>Utah/Bucky
Vigilante and S.T.R.I.P.E.

>All this hero talk
Interpret this as you will. I just want to remind you all this existed a decade ago and we had the fortune to live during its run. https://youtu.be/13RU29IGg9I

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So who's going to be the greatest heroes of all time? Section 8's six pack and dogwelder

>>27906336
Snips and Snails... Not Mudpie and Trimmings; their dads. And they are very aware of what those two dumbies are doing.

>>27906244
What's the difference?

>>27906476
Super HUMAN strength is strength that is unparalleled by any man. You can crush rocks, you can punch buildings so hard they crumble, or you can even lift a Battleship slightly. All super human. Super strength is beyond human. Planet busting, one hitting gods, going toe to toe with Superman as he doesn't hold back; THAT is super strength. No one with just super human strength would survive a minute trying those things. To add on; this isn't magic or ki. Pure muscle; hits only.

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>>27906044
Nothing for Hope?

>>27906615
Just answered your own question. Hope's already a hero. Also, Blue Lantern corp

>>27906757
d'oh

Satyr and their friend accidentally destroyed something while they were running around the house.

>>27907656
It was the seal keeping Aku locked away.

>>27907716
>Dad puts on the black bathrobe and googly eyes

>>27907718
Samurai's back. Samurai's back. Mmm, whacha.

So I go in to work at 8 AM and I'm working a double, which means I get off at midnight. It's Satyrday and I've finished my art projects for the month which means I shouldn't be too busy, but we all know how things can change.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is in the event that I have a lot of free time, I can doodle.
Feel free to post some SFW requests, and as always, it helps if you provide reference pictures of the satyr(s) in question since my phone's network connection at work is abysmal 90% of the time. There are some satyrs I don't need references for, especially the one's I've drawn a lot like Yuzu, Hope, Pogo, etc. but there are small details that I may forget about other satyrs like hairstyles and such.

Depending on how good my connection is at work, I can either post them by phone, or if it's really shitty, I'll have to wait until I get home to scan them. If I can remember to fucking bring them home...

>>27907938
Ninja Melody using shurikens.

>>27907938
Mad doc Tonsils (I like the headcanon) dragging nurse/minion Anon around on a shopping spree as he's forced to carry all the bags. Bonus points for Officer Pogo eyeing them suspiciously.

>>27907938
Rarity or a teenage Sweetie Belle reading a bedtime story for a young Garret.

>>27907938
How about Celestia forcing Dawn and Radiance to apologize to the skeletons for what they did to them in the OP?

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>>27907938
Gala looking at a revealing bikini and Big Mac in the background looking on angrily

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>>27905815
Because of Thorn's edge, she gets one of the edgier superhero powers.

>>27907938
Satyr with a brutal shiner, but grinning like they just won the belt.

>>27907938
Satyr getting bullied by colts and/or fillies.

>>27907938
Pogo shouting "woohoo" like Homer Simpson does.

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>>27908088
this or Green Peace/Tonsils dates

>>27906244
Now thinking about it, maybe iron fist style for timber.

>>27909372
She is NOT edgy! She's hardcore! Gahl! Why don't you guys ever listen?!

>>27904908
To continue on this superhero thing. What would some of the satyr's rogue galleries look like? Would they have certain themes to them?

>>27913045
I miss Msob

>>27897694
>>27907656
>Yuzu and Hope are pretending to be pirates and are fighting each other inside the house
>It's all fun and games until one of them knocks over a vase with their makeshift swords
>They both freeze up and stare in shock at the shattered remains that now lie on the floor
>"What was that?" a voice booms from upstairs
>One satyr turns to the other and says "run."
>They both hightail it out of the house
>Hope and Yuzu would have to continue this game somewhere else for today

>>27915023
That wasn't just any vase, it was the urn with Yuzu's mother's ashes.

>>27915304
>Anon enters the room
>"Who left this perfectly good chocolate milk mix on the floor?"

>>27905867
>Hating on JoJo

Yare Yare Daze.

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>You go into the bookstore one day with your satyr and let them roam the aisles to pick out a book
>They excitedly return to you with some book with a weird cover, titled 'The King In Yellow'.
>You're sure it's just an underground sort of book your satyr's in to, so you purchase it alongside your own collection
>That night, you go and check in on your satyr, but find them curled up in the bed, blank faced, shivering and trembling in a feverish sweat, lips moving and muttering in a automated tone
>You try and ask them what's the matter and if they're sick, but they only stare at you and mutter broken whispers of 'black stars in the sky' and 'Carcosa, lost Carcosa'.
>Further efforts to revitalize your child fail, so you step out to leave to fetch the phone and call for help
>When, before you do, you catch a glimpse of satyr's new book faced down on the floor with the covers opened
>Picking it up, you notice that the book is bound in snakeskin, you think, an illustration of a yellow snake is slithering on the spine
>It then occurs to you that maybe satyr just had a nightmare falling asleep after reading their book
>Though you've never seen any nightmare leave them in such a frightened condition since they were but a toddler
>Heading to sit back on the side of the bed, you go and comfort your satyr and wrap a blanket over them
>They atleast seem to calm down at first, but then a glimpse of the book send them shrieking and pleads with you to put it away
>What do you do?

>>27916996
>The King In Yellow
Sounds like an erotic watersports novel.

>>27917261
Write it

>>27916996
Now I want to see a satyr as the main character in "The Dark Tower" series.

>>27917403
This. And "The Road"

>>27917622
And "Desperation."

>>27918132
TAK

>>27918170
>"Tak! ah la... Tak!" the old satyr yells at the coyotes across the street
>"Do not speak to them in the language of the dead" a young satyr says.
I just finished reading that book.
R.I.P., Johnny, you amazing bastard.

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>>27906757
>>27906615
I would go even further and say she also uses her magic to enhance her attacks. So instead of just looking like a sort of shield charge, it would look like something from marvel vs capcom.

>>27918570
Did you read 'The Regulators', too?

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>>27920890

>>27920890
would love and nurture
>>27920913
would fug

>>27920890
>>27920913
There's no porn of her is there?

>>27921098
D-do you want there to be?

>>27921130
No. Donkey girl is for pure loving and marital sex. Or do you WANT the chancla?!

>>27921396
No, mami, no! Not la chancleta!

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>>27920890
What do you think her and Petunia do together?

>>27921451
Complain about being treated like second class citizens by the ponies. Racist ass equines.

>>27919096
Is there any art of Hope using any kind of magic?

>>27921396
>>27921432
I didn't get la chancla growing up.
My grandma and mom were always going on about el cucuy.

>>27921396
>>27921432
>>27922577
>la chancla
>stupid, unfunny, wetback meme that two, maybe three, possibly one (most likely) dedicated samefag mentioned in the past
why are you trying to force this retarded meme, faggot(s)?

>>27922630
>Being white
Faggot. Seriously though; me and my cousins got Chanc'd. Not to the degree where the thread takes it; but it fucking hurt. Probably why I found it so funny when whoever first brought it up started to make it a thing.

>>27922630
>meme
Do you think the use of belts and switches for children's punishment in the southern U.S. is a meme too? Because I certainly don't think it is. Neither does my ass.

>>27921130
Of course. No satyr deserves the terrible fate of remaining pornless.

>>27923460
What do you think is the worst for background satyrs: having no porn, having no art, or having no stories?

>>27923483
I can't say I've really thought of any satyrs as bad. There are just satyrs I like, and then there are the ones I don't really think about or have any headcanon regarding at all - which would mostly be the rarely discussed ones with no stories or art, for obvious reasons.

>>27923483
No stories. Stories give personality, history, relationships. Porn is nothing. You satisfy an urge, you get over it, and maybe you remember it later or it gets lost in your porn folder which has over 10k pics and a few hundred vids. As for pictures, they're GOOD, yeah, but a pic is worth 1000 words. Only a 1000. Again, good, sometimes great, but stories can go on for thousands of thousands of words. Hell, if you mix the two together, you get something beautiful. But, my point; stories are the worst to lack... Oh, and discussion is 4th place in this race. All discussion does is make a flimsy building block that artists or story writers can easily ignore.

>>27923494
Worst FOR background satyrs. Not worst background satyrs, c'mon man, get your head in the game. The game of satyr.

>>27923483
Having no art, since porn is also art. Without any art of any kind they basically have no defined character and are doomed to remaining forever obscure.

As long as at least one picture of them exists, there is a hope that they may one day be discussed. Take Freckles, for example. Until recently, there was basically just one (or a few at most) pictures of her and essentially no discussion. Now she's got at least a few porn images and actually gets discussed every once in a while.

>>27923622
>Discussed
Being a nerd or being her brothers cum dumps? Neither of those seems like great discussion.

>>27923711
This. So much this.

What do you think satyrs do or listen to when they're feeling introspective?

>>27923711
I like nerdy Freckles.

>>27923971
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIIKFNcknvc&index=2&list=PLsVoIP7pW8g984pIJuKXhY9tTG1DiJWY9

>>27924414
Me too. Nerdy Freckles is a qt.

>>27924709

>not Free form Jazz

http://youtu.be/XgFy5L11Umw

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Alright, how many of you would do this, be honest.

>>27925733
I'd rather step on a Lego every morning for a week than refuse to play with my daughter.

>>27926404
Are there *any* stories about her? Is she the daughter of a minotaur ambassador or something?

>>27926590
I don't remember anything for her. Backstory varies a bit. I'm pretty sure one is she's iron will's daughter, another is that she is an ambassador's daughter like you said, and I think there is another one.

>>27926404
>>27926590
>>27927166
For the guy who said pics were more important; pretty sure this is evidence suggesting otherwise.

>>27927347
The important thing is having an established headcanon. Stories are one way to provide that, but simple discussion is sufficient. Without any art in the first place, any satyr is unlikely to get either, as they would just be a name and nobody would care.

Of course, having art still doesn't guarantee any stories being written or discussion taking place.

>>27927428
>Discussion is sufficient
Discussion is the average anime/tittyme of getting headcanons. Pleb tier and in large supply.

>>27927472
And still better than empty satyrs who are just a name someone came up with, with no established personality or design.
Since writefags are in short supply, we'll have to make do with discussion.

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>>27892150
Would your daughteru still love you if you were a skeleton?

>>27927745
>Love
As a parent, probably. She'd have a Lich daddy. Maybe she's a nerd and this is her dream come true? If you're trying to imply some form of Cest, take it to >>>/sad/. They'll satisfy your skeleton fetish. DJ already has, if you've forgotten.

>>27927824
Speaking of liches, which satyr would be most likely to become a lich?

>>27927912
Glimmer.

>>27927912
Misery

>>27892150
Why are they harming skelebros ?

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>>27927912
Since there are some headcanons where Glimmer becomes a villain, I would say her.

>>27925733
I would maybe do it once or twice just as a joke. I would immediately turn around after I walked away a few steps and tell the kid that I was just joking, and then we'd go and play games for a little while.

>>27927745
Celestia, unwilling to go back to living the single life, turns her husband into a lich so that he'll be able to see his grandkids one day. Anon won't stop using his newfound necromantic powers to summon spooky skeletons and constantly remarks about having a boner whenever he's in the mood for sexy times.

>>27927952

>Glimmer becomes an all powerful Lich
>She still can't get laid

>>27927965
They are necrophobic shitlords.

</sarcasm>, just in case it wasn't obvious

>>27927965
They're racists. Note how all the skeletons are human.

>>27928001
The only kind of laid she should be getting is to rest.

Y'know, cause she's dead. Guys?

Skeleton (Un)Lives Matter!

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>>27928023

Carlos no

Plus Liches can (sometimes) be cute, so it's not like she can't find someone who would bone her

So has anyone else seen stranger things? Who would be El?

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>"Oh hey, I haven't met you before, I like your dress! Are you a princess?"
"Um, thanks, but I'm nobody special."
>"You want to come play with me and my friends?"
"O-Okay."
>"Do you like playing pretend with dolls? You can borrow mine."
"Daddy a I play pretend all the time."
>"Neat! Like what?"
"Like... When he comes into my room late at night smelling of alcohol and I pretend to be asleep."
>"Huh?"
"But he's really good at the game and knows that I'm only faking... Then afterwards I pretend that it never happened and nod when mommy asks if I slept well."
>"Uh... You're kind of weird, maybe you should just play by yourself. I don't think my friends would like you very much."
"...I'm good at pretending that last part."

So, do I win darkest and most depressing post of the thread so far?

>>27929137
Don't worry, her dad is just a fan of launching unexpected tickle attacks and is actually a devoted and loving father and husband.

>>27930100
I wish we had more gifs. It's just so amazing to actually see satyrs moving, even if it is something as simple as blinking.

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https://youtu.be/pzm-4mlzZPU
What are you listening to, /satyr/?

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>>27931585
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3C8EyJgZwk

>>27929137
>"Wow, you look like you haven't slept in days."
"My dad came to my room drunk again last night and made me do things."
>"I'm almost afraid to ask, but what things?"
"He made me watch Fury Road with him and made me witness him every time he took a shot of vodka."
>"Oh, well that's not so bad, I was thinking that maybe he'd molested you."
"W-What? No way! Daddy would never do that, don't be gross."
>"Sorry, but you looked so tired I just sort of assumed."
"I'm tired because my dad painted my entire room chrome 'so that V8 can watch over my dreams' and Its impossible to sleep."

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>>27932222

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhvPlzelj9I
>Screaming down the highway at 180kph with the sounds of the pursuing police sirens drowned out by the deafening roar of the sacred V8 propelling you at breakneck speed towards Valhalla, you're reminded why you hate visiting your grandparents on Earth.
>Fearfully clinging on for dear life as you're forced back into your seat, you turn to your father as he grins maniacally, his chrome-coated teeth shining with the light of the setting sun.
>"Oh yes, what fun! Listen to that engine purr!"
>You clench your eyes tightly closed as your father navigates the vehicle between two oncoming lorries with mere inches so spare on either side.
"Daddy, I don't like this!"
>Your father grins at you.
>"Oh, I get it, you wanna take the wheel? That's my girl!"
>You watch in horror as your almost certainly insane parent opens up his door and proceeds to climb onto the roof.
>With no other option, you hurriedly clamber into the driver's seat and regain control of the vehicle just as it's about to slam into the drainage ditch running alongside the road.
"I don't know how to drive!"
>You hear your dad laugh from above.
>"Nonsense, you have motor oil in your blood! Just keep your hoof on the accelerator and guide us to Valhalla!"

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>>27932222

>>27932222
>>27932373
So wheaties's Anon is a motor vehicle enthusiast?

>>27932456
He's unbridled horsepower and torque made manifest.

>>27932373
We don't have any motor enthusiast/biker satyrs do we?

>>27932608
I remember a oneshot where rebellions teenage Yuzu constantly woke the neighbours by revving the engine of her Harley Davidson at three in the morning.

>>27932615
>3 in the morning
Yuzu was gang raped. Confirmed. Dumb bitch shoulda quieted down.

>>27932373
>That face.

"It's not fair, how am I supposed to die historic when I'm expected to act like a refined and cultured lady all the time."
>"Hmm, what was that, sweetheart?"
"Nothing, mother, just y'know... thinking about pretty dresses and how great it is to be nobility and stuff."

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>>27932622
Only an idiot would attempt to rape Yuzu. Not because of all the rabies and her predisposition for biting the ears off people, but because despite not looking all that strong, she's a black belt in Judo, Jujutsu and Muay Thai, in addition to having been taught boxing from the age of eight.

Daddy made sure his little girl could look after herself, even if she still likes to sleep in his bed and have him check in the closet for monsters.

>>27932690
Don't forget she's also a master swordfighter.

>>27932719
Seven years of HEMA learning longsword, sword and buckler, quaterstaff and military sabre.

>>27932690
>And now she knows kung fu
>Along with being the oerfect daughteru, cocksock, waifu
You're the reason this character is a ruined piece of shit.

>>27932690
>Gang raped
>All the way till sunrise
>She was pregnant
>Two of them were never found and four of them were killed in gang violence
>They don't know who the father is

>>27932840
You seem to be taking things too seriously. Firstly I was only messing around with the idea, secondly...
>Along with being the perfect daughteru, cocksock, waifu
I never said this, you just added this in yourself. Maybe this Yuzu is a greedy bitch who doesn't get along well with others, who knows.

Also what's to say she wouldn't be good at a couple of martial arts? Yeah, she's usually depicted as a girly girl interested in fashion and hanging out with her bestie, Mistake, but people can enjoy lots of different things and it's good to have a hobby.

>>27932869
Now that's what I call a sticky situation.

>>27932869
>four of them were killed in gang violence
At least that's what it said in the newspapers.

>>27932870
Yet none of that was NOT implied. Eat a dick waffle, you two faced faggot.

>>27932877
Da da da da da rape joke. Seriously though, she was PAINTED in spooge. Spooge and tears.

>>27932878
Some say, on full moons, around 3 am, you can still hear the sound of men making Motorcycle noises in the wind... then the rape happens.

>>27932889
Friendly reminder that starting arguments over stupid shit doesn't in any way benefit anyone.

>>27932901
>tears
The tears of her rapists after she beat them up, no doubt.

>>27932906
back tracking is the pussy way. Remember that.

>>27932840
>And now she knows kung fu
You know, I can't imagine Yuzu as a capable fighter outside her pirate fantasies. I imagine her first line of defense is wild punching, kicking and flailing. Her last is driving those teeth into her attacker.

>the perfect daughteru
In her dad's eyes.
>cocksock
Damn straight.
>waifu
Anyone else will always be openly compared against, and come second to daddy dearest. That would be uncomfortable.

>>27932913
No, Yuzu's tears. They were not gentle. There was actually some vaginal mutilation. The poor girl still feels pain when she tries to pee. She got fucking destroyed. All because she thought it was smart to ride a Harley alone at 3 am in the ghetto... Oh well, got what was coming to her. Let this be a lesson to all.

>>27932922
Lesson of what? Not to go in the ghettos? Some people don't have a choice.

>>27932927
No, the lesson is; "once you go black, you can't go back." Because your pussy is fucking destroyed after that. This is a choice you commit to.

>>27932921
>Her last is driving those teeth into her attacker.
Honestly, she'd probably be better off taking a stealthy approach. Sneaking up on her unsuspecting victim from behind and sinking her fangs into their neck, paralyzing them and sucking the blood out of them until they pass out from blood loss.

>>27932922
Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

>>27932889
So now not specifically not implying something is worthy of an argument?

>>27932940
I was speaking from the perspective of if you tried to grab her, those teeth would probably be scraping the bone pretty quick.

>>27932922
>The poor girl still feels pain when she tries to pee
Did they fuck her in the peehole too?

>>27932961
ALL the way in the pee hole.

>>27932922
Do you live in a neighbourhood with lots of noisy bikers by any chance? Only I'm sensing a lot of repressed anger.

>>27932970
They killed and raped my aunt grandma... And they were all martian niggers.

>>27932959
Either way, you'd be watching her sucking your blood until you passed out from blood loss.

>>27932967
I'm not really into rape, but that's pretty hot.

>>27932967
Did they cum inside, so when she peed, she peed their cum?

>>27932985
The cum would just dissolve in her pee, turning it murky.

>>27932840
>>Along with being the oerfect daughteru, cocksock, waifu
Since we're on the subject, what's inherently bad about being seen to be near perfect? Hear me out on this, because while I know Mary Sues can be boring to read about and so on, people like that actually do exist in real life to an extent.

Lots of real people strive to be the very best (Like no one ever was) in everything they do and have loads of hobbies and interests. I knew a girl in school that was literally the best at everything from sports to chemistry to maths, and no matter how good you were you were always second to her. As it turned out, she went totally nuts and now lives in a mental ward because she pushed herself so hard she had a breakdown. My point remains though, that there are people that are just good at everything, like they have cheat codes for life, and is it really so hard to accept that some fictional characters may be the same?

>>27932972
They weren't Gayniggers from outer space, were they?

http://viooz.ac/movies/26203-gayniggers-from-outer-space-1992.html

>>27933009
I remember that movie. It's pretty bad. Hilarious title though.

>>27933001
Because then you end up with characters like Timber, Gumdrop, Simmer, Prism, and Darcy.

>>27933001
Because when it's a real person, it's impressive. That's the result of an actual person putting in actual effort. You can feel good for them, you can feel jealous, whatever.

When it's a fictional character, there's no actual work on their part, just their writer stripping or never adding flaws.
Even if a character went from flawed to perfect over a long time, and it was well written, which they almost never are, that peak is where the characters story should end.

The purpose of a fictional character is that they're repeatable and entertaining, which Sue's are not. Even to actual little perfects, because I can promise you their personal lives are often full of shit.
I'd bet the girl you mentioned was pushed more by her parents than by herself.

>>27933066
Use less obvious bait next time.

>>27933129
It's not bait. Each of those have been described as perfect somethings and each of them are fucking garbage because of it.

>>27933139
Why don't you enlighten us with your flawed headcanons about them then.

>>27933139
No they haven't. To you and a dwindling minority, sure, but to sane people who could form their own opinions about people they're individualized characters with sets of flaws and desires.

>>27933161
>Timber
Obvious.
>Simmer
Same. Don't even try to act like you don't know.
>Gumdrop
The perfect cock sock daughteru who is so worth cucking Bon bon over. Some retards don't see it or choose not to, but not everyone is as mentally challenged as you. She's a sue.
>Prism
Pretty, kind hearted, friends with everyone, and sexy. Little babby 15 year old gurl's first OC. Sue.
>Darcy
If you aren't aware of how the thread circlejerked her as the perfect waifu; then you're a new fag who isn't worth the time to explain it.

>>27933195
I never said any of them haven't been portrayed as pretty perfect. I was suggesting that instead of complaining about it, you share your flaws for them with us. I'm not seeing any flaws described here.

>>27933208
Ohhh, sharing their flaws? That's a great idea! Cause that's worked so well the previous times! Do you even think? This shit's been tried before. Spoilers, it didn't last.

>>27933227
It certainly won't work if you don't do it. And complaining about other people having too perfect headcanons won't work either, I'm pretty sure.

>>27933195
See kids, this is why you should stay in school. So when the time comes, your critical thinking can come in handy refuting someone who's clearly wrong in an argument over the internet.

>>27933238
It'll hopefully get the "too perfect" headcanon people to shut up. That'll work.

>>27933292
So you're just trying to kill the thread.

>>27933310
No, just the Sues. The thread is good; just too many fucking mary sues and gary stus.

>>27933361
If you drive away most of the discussion, even more people will just leave. These threads are already pretty dead as it is.

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>>27933361
>>27933310
Yeah there's no point in arguing with this guy. He's clearly just trying to start shit up. On another note, what do you think is satyr's preferred way to exercise and stay fit?

>>27933394
>Most

>Local fag goes on a rant because people don't like to talk about satyr getting raped
Just go back to /sad/ if you love rape so fucking much.

>>27933403
Most satyrs probably don't. They're just like most IRL "average" people who can do and eat whatever they like and never get fat anyway (at least until they get old), even if they don't get particularly strong either.

Alex lifts because she wants to be strong so she can beat up anyone who makes fun of her or her friends.

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>>27933403
Crossfit A.K.A. the art of looking like an idiot while swinging weights around with no regard for proper posture of form and ending up with a slipped disk.

>>27933403
Dawn and Sirius have physical fitness tutors for all their needs: fencing, gymnastics, swimming, track, wrestling, etc. Radiance and Selena prefer to catch up on their arcane studies more.

>>27933428
>Alex
>Tfw when you just want to live in a library, but your mom wants you to be tough.

>>27933532
I like nerdy Alex. It's cute.

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>>27932690

And yet despite all of that she's still as thick as two short planks. I also like the idea of her having a greedy streak that some people mentioned lately.

"Yuzu, come in here please."
>You wait a moment as your daughter obediently makes her way into the kitchen before looking at you expectantly.
"Have a seat."
>As she sits opposite you at the table, you pull her latest school report card from your back pocket.
>Her eyes widen slightly as she catches sight of it.
"I'm not going to ask why I found this in the trash along with the envelope addressed to me, but I am going to need you to explain these grades."
>She remains silent, prompting you to continue.
"Now lets take a look here, shall we? You got a D in Equish and Science, an E in Maths and Geography. Just about the only subjects you're doing well in are History and Drama."
>You look across the table to where your daughter shifts her glance to the side so as to not meet your eyes.
>"Sorry."
>You sigh.
"Don't be sorry, I'm not mad, just concerned. I'm not going to punish you."
>She look up at you.
>"You're not?"
>You shake your head.
"Of course not. I'm going to try and help you in any way I can if you're struggling. That's why starting tonight you and I are going to sit down together for an hour every day after school so we can work on your homework together."
>She hesitates.
>"Tonight?"
>You nod once again.
"That's right, go get your pencil case."
>She frowns.
>"But I was going to go out with Mistake."
>You shrug.
"And I was going to relax with a beer and a bad movie after a backbreaking ten hour shift at work, but this is more important, so hurry up and get your things."
>"But-"
"The sooner we start the sooner we'll be done."
>"B-But how long do we have to do this?"
>She gives you those big, sorrowful eyes that never failed to make you putty in her hands.
"Don't give me that look, you're not getting out of this. As for how long, an hour every night for however long it takes to get your grades up."

>>27933544
>>27933532
Alex once broke somebody's arm after they bent her bookmark.

>>27933614
It was signed by J. K. Rowling. She had to go all the way to Earth to get it!

>>27932222
>>27932373
Now this is comedy.

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>>27933607
"Oh my God, Missy!"
>"What is it, Yu?"
"You'll never guess what! It's, like, totally the freakiest thing ever!"
>"Just tell me already."
"So, like, get this, I just found out from my dad that my birthday is on the same day I was born!"
>"Uh..."
"I know, right! Like, what're the odds?"

---

"Missy, You know when they don't know who a babies dad is they can do a test to find out?"
>"Yeah?"
"Well, why don't they do a test to find out who the mom is too? It seems unfair."
>"Yuzu... just... nevermind."

Dumb bat is cute bat.

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>>27932222
>2222
2+2+2+2 = 8
V8
>'so that V8 can watch over my dreams'

WITNESSED!

Headcanon accepted Wheatie's dad is a petrol-head.

>>27933740
Dumb bat does sound cute, but I think you made her a little too dumb.

>>27933775
>Headcanon accepted Wheatie's dad is a petrol-head.
>she grows up to become a petrol-head herself
>she works as a mechanic at day and participates in street racing at night

>>27933815
So how dumb is ideal? Thinking deleting a file removes it from her computer dumb or failed her driving test twelve times dumb? We need examples, preferably in the form of short greens.

>>27933887
Does she name her car "Pretty Princess" in keeping with her upbringing as nobility of the Crystal Empire?

>>27933889
>"..Y-you mean dragging it to the trashcan thingy doesn't like, uninstall and permanently delete it?"

>>27933900
Wheaties mother is nobility? I thought she was just an average crystal pony?

>>27933924
I just imagining her like that because all the art we have of her makes her look rich as fuck. Just look at the size of that gem in her necklace. >>27932373

>>27933914
And that's how Yuzu used up 3TB of memory in a week.

>>27933949
If she managed to produce 3TB of files in a week, she's pretty darn good. Or the Equestrian internet is insanely fast and contains enormous amounts of huge porn videos.

>memory
Also, that would be disk space, not memory.

>>27933971
I was actually going to say that, but I didn't know if it would still be called that if it was on an SSD so instead I just went with memory instead.

>>27933981
Generally, "memory" is used exclusively to refer to temporary storage. Typically RAM.
When referring to permanent storage, "space" is generally used instead. I don't really see a problem with using "disk space" for SSDs as well.

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>>27933971
>Or the Equestrian internet is insanely fast and contains enormous amounts of huge porn videos.

"Oh, looks like Yuzu's been sharing some photos of herself with her friends. That's so cute, they must be pictures of herself in her new dress that loves it so much. Lets just have a quick peak and see what... we... have... M-My god, where did I go so wrong."
>Right click, Save image as...

>>27933998
>M-My god, where did I go so wrong.
>quickly restore everything in the recycle bin and move it to an external harddrive for safe keeping

>>27933479
>Radiance and Selena prefer to catch up on their arcane studies more
They have their own private activities to keep them fit.

>>27935558
Why is Snapshot's shirt transparent?

>>27935558
PRETTY SNEAKY, SIS

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>>27935608

>Wait, was it transparent when I saved it?
>Oh fuck

>>27935558
>>27935763

I also realized he's missing a thumb on his right hand.

>>27935763
Now it's all black.

>>27935767
Ah, you're right. I didn't notice that.

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>>27935772

Yeah. The viewer I use for photos changes the background to black when you zoom in, and it's normally white.

t. iPhone user

>>27935870
Ah. So his shirt is supposed to be white then?

>>27935558
This is a motley crew of satyrs. Let me guess rhe degrees.
>Icarus - Rainbow's son; would know Pogo and Garret by association of the Mane 6 families
>Pogo - Pinkie's son; would also know Garret and Icarus; might have thrown parties for dozens of satyrs
>Garret - Rarity's son; would know Snapshot considering they both deal in fashion to some extent
>Snapshot - Photo Finish's son; would know Garret by association with his mother Rarity; possible friend of Herc, possible friend with Pogo
>Herc - bulk Biceps' son; probably knows Icarus by association of the Wonderbolts and Equestria Games; possible friend of Snapshot
>Muddle - Garble's son; Random drake; possible modelng associate to Snapshot
Uh...O think that's all the connections I can make.

>>27935936
Muddle as a model? Somehow I can't quite picture it.

>>27936047
I always pictured him as being childhood friends with Snapshot.

>>27936057
He could be, but I still can't see him modeling himself. Then again, I suppose him having a secret side to himself might not be a bad idea. He could secretly model for Snapshot when it's just the two of them, but makes him swear never to tell anyone else about it or publish any of the pictures.

>>27936069
I just went with it because of the two pictures that had him with Snapshot.

Silly satyrs, get off page nine.

>>27933940
>look rich as fuck
What if that is why she's depressed? Because her family is actually kinda poor, but they always hide it from everyone and act like everything is alright?
That rock in her necklace? A plain and cheap crystal.

It is near night in the orchards of Appleloosa, and Utah heads to his cabin after a fine dinner and a great time with his Uncle and family. He stretches a bit, glad that his bruise seemed to have finally healed by now. As he heads back to the cabin, a mailpony heads their way toward him. He notices them and stops, “Evening Ma’am. Little late for deliveries though, isn’t it?” She nods her head, “Of course, but my boss asked me to send this package as soon as possible. Said something about the client needing it to get to you tonight.”

The mailpony gives him a letter, “Well, have a good night kid.” Utah tells the mailpony to have a good night too. As she leaves, he looks at the letter to see who it’s from. The only thing that is an indicator is a stamp as the diamond suit of cards. He realizes that this must be from the diamonds. He opens the letter immediately and the only thing in it is a single piece of paper with numbers on it. There are only two words on the letter. “Hello vigilante,” the letter says on it. He looks at it closer and realizes that they’re coordinates. This makes him run into his cabin and look at one of the local maps. After finding where the coordinates are, he sees that 10 of Diamonds was telling the truth all along.

Utah realizes that there is a good chance this is a trap, but this is only lead he has. If he can at least scout around the area, it could give him almost anything he needs to know. He grabs his poncho and everything he will need to head out with the exception of the vest that hasn’t been fixed yet. The last thing he grabs is his old domino mask. He takes the cover off of his bike and gets on it, riding to Smith and Wesson because they said they had something new for him. After that, he will take care of this Ace of Diamonds once and for all. The ride takes a while and a bit relaxing as always. The wind going through his hair and seeing what little that passes by like the cactuses and tumbleweeds is nice.

>>27937237
>>27937237
He gets to the old shack of the twins and do their secret knock as always. Wesson open the doors and they say their hellos. As Smith leads them to the table, shows him the old vest “Rider, do you remember when we said that we could fix your vest?” he says to him. Utah raises an eyebrow, “Yeah, why?” he asks the two. Wesson takes off his glasses, “Originally when we were making the suit, we thought repairing it would be as easy as sewing a button or stitching someone would be.” Smith decides to continue what his brother said as Wesson goes off to one of the other tables, “Turns out, it would be more like fixing a statue or a marble floor. Once a piece is broken, the overall vest slowly deteriorates. That shotgun blast you took was like a sledgehammer going against a statue. It’s a miracle that it didn’t go through. Now we have to make a new one entirely.” Utah looks at the vest to see how damaged it is and ask the two, “How long will that take?” They both think about it for about a minute until Wesson blurts out, “At least five days, and that’s if we only work on it all day.”

Utah sighs, “Is there any good news?” Smith does smile a bit, “There actually is,” he says as he grabs the vest, “because we figured you would be going out tonight, we did patch the vest up the best we could. It’s not what I would consider as good as it was, but it will still protect you.” He gives Utah the vest and he takes his poncho off to put it on. be with it. “Well, the less they know the better. Thank you.” Utah tells the two as he starts to walk out of the shed, mentally preparing himself for whatever could possibly be in those coordinates. He gets on the bike and prepare for what is for him the first time in a while, driving to the unknown.

>>27937251
Utah rides his bike straight to where the coordinates are. He knows there is a good chance they are waiting on him. The ride there takes roughly another fifteen minutes. Once he gets close to the coordinates, he sees everything he needs to see. There were four cars surrounding a plateau with a huge, gaping hole in it. This must be the right place. He parks behind a rock fairly far away from the plateau. He slings the bag with all of his gadgets over his shoulders. He takes the pair of binoculars and looks at the plateau.

Looking through them, he sees two in one of the cars get out and starts to walk into the cave. Utah doesn’t recognize them, but he does notice that they are both bipedal and they are both wearing masks. It’s clear that one is a boy and the other is a girl. The tall one is wearing a suit while the shorter one has what looks like long black hair and is wearing a red dress. Both of their clothing is unfortunately covering their legs. The taller one is wearing one that looks like it is also a sort of helmet. As they enter the cave, they are swallowed into the darkness of the cave and making it impossible for Utah to see anything.

Utah knows what he is about to do is probably an incredibly stupid idea, but he decides to sneak into the cave. He walks toward the cave and doesn’t enter it quite yet. Hiding himself behind the wall of the entrance, he looks in and sees that there are torches inside. Just enough for there to be light, but not enough for anyone far away to notice. He slowly goes into the entrance, expecting the worst. Once he enters the plateau, he realizes that this isn’t just a basic cave and realizes why he couldn’t look into the cave. It looks like whoever is behind all this made this it underground and there is actually a stairway made of the stone here. He walks down the stairs, grappling gun ready and revolver in hand.

>>27937269
At the bottom of the stairs, Utah sees an entrance to another room. He sneaks into the room as quietly as he possibly could and enters the room. He walks forward and sees that there are three people playing what seems to be poker across the room, none of them noticing he’s even there. He cocks his gun and gets ready to fire if he has to. Then Utah realizes something sees off. He sees a bipedal, the masked one in the suit to be specific. There is also a buffalo and a saddle Arabian. Then it hits him. The one in the dress and whoever drove one of the cars is missing.

All of a sudden, what looks like a glowing shard of glass hits his gun from the right, making him drop it. When he looks to the right, a minotaur tackles him. The minotaur starts to beat on him further. Utah tries to stop him and is able to get a single swing to connect. He gets on his two hooves and takes a good look at the minotaur. The minotaur has an eyepatch on his left eye and wearing a sleeveless suit.

The two clash once more and both are able to get a few more swings on each other. Utah is almost able to get the upper hand against the one in the suit. It was until the one in the red dress decided to interfere. She summons more glowing glass and launches it into Utah’s right arm, making him lose concentration. The minotaur uses this to his advantage and grabs Utah with one hand. He throws him into the wall. Minotaur grabs Utah once more and lifts him over his head and slams him into the ground.

>>27937276
To think he was finished was foolish. The minotaur then starts to stomp on Utah’s chest. He keeps doing so to the point where he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t be surprised if he had a cracked rib. He continued until one of the people at the poker table yelled, “That’s enough 10.” The minotaur stops stomping on him and waits. The three that were at the poker table and the one in the red dress start to group around Utah. All five of them surround him. “So you’re the vigilante who’s been messing with my men?” the masked one asks him. Utah gets a good look at the masked duo and the other two. The one in the suit is wearing one that reminds him of a sugar skull and it looks like it’s covered in diamonds. His suit also has diamond cufflinks on them too. The red coated buffalo has a gauntly look to him and with his hair falling out, almost as if you can see his skull even with all the fur covering it.
He then looks to the saddle Arabian and wears a robe with jewels you would expect from royalty. “I’m talking to you, vigilante,” the masked bipedal tells him and kicks him in the eye, making Utah swing his head back. He steps on the same spot the minotaur was stomping, making Utah groan in pain. “I expect you to pay attention. After all, I’m the one you wanted.” Utah looks at him confused, “I thought 10 was in prison.”

>>27937285
The one Utah realizes is the Ace of Diamonds just snickers, “What, you thought I would give up one of my men after I heard what you figured out with 3? That 10 was a look alike.” Utah grabs his hoof and pushes it off his chest. All five of them are ready to attack him again. The minotaur pops his knuckles, the masked woman hands start to glow, the buffalo’s pupils start to dilate to where it was impossible to see his irises, the saddle Arabian has sand start to surround her, and the Ace just pulls out a pipe pistol. “How do you know who I am? The letter.” Ace of Diamonds stares him down, “Those letters? I have no idea who you are. I just sent letters to all the houses in the area. I figured you would know what they meant because of what the fake 10 told you.” Ace of Diamonds step towards him, “You got me curious now. Might as well see who you are.”

As he is about to take off the bandanna hiding the bottom of Utah’s face, an arrow lands right on his head. Instead of going through his helmet, the arrow explodes into a giant cloud of smoke. Everyone in the room starts hacking, coughing, and had tears running in their eyes. Utah feels someone grab his should and helps him up. While he gets up, a strong shock of pain continues in his ribs. Gritting his teeth, Utah feels a hand grabbing his and helps him out of the room. Whoever helps him pushes him into the stairwell and shuts the door behind them. He sees who helped him. It’s a satyr like him, only that they’re wearing a hood and a scarf to cover the bottom of their face. They give him his revolver that he dropped.

>>27937294
“Come on, we gotta get out of here.” The satyr tells him. They sound familiar to him. He forgets about it and takes the shard out of his arm. Now he knows at least one of them is a magic user. The two run up the stairs and get out of the plateau through the entrance. “Quick, where’s your bike?” The hooded satyr asks him. He points to the rock where he parked it and they both sprint there. Utah looks at the cars that were around the plateau and see an arrow in at least one of each of all the cars’ wheels. They get on the bike and ride the hell out of there with Utah driving it and the satyr who saved him holding him to stay on the bike.

The gang of Diamonds eventually get out of their plateau and see their cars. The minotaur kicks his out of anger. “The vigilante got away and now he knows how faces. What are we going to do now?” says the buffalo gritting his teeth. “Calm down King. Same goes to you 10. All we have to do is wait and watch. He will show himself again and we’ll jump when the time is right,” says Ace while he looks at the damage to his car. “Ace, we had him pinned. He should have never gotten out. He also knows who is real and not,” Says the Saddle Arabian. The Ace of Diamonds was tempted to take his mask off to make the Jack to look in his eyes, but he decides against it. He then tells her, “Listen, if we try to jump on him now, he may expect it and we’ll all get caught. After all, patience is a virtue.” All the Queen in the red dress could do for her Ace is to calm him down.

>>27937304
The gang of Diamonds eventually get out of their plateau and see their cars. The minotaur kicks his out of anger. “The vigilante got away and now he knows how faces. What are we going to do now?” says the buffalo gritting his teeth. “Calm down King. Same goes to you 10. All we have to do is wait and watch. He will show himself again and we’ll jump when the time is right,” says Ace while he looks at the damage to his car. “Ace, we had him pinned. He should have never gotten out. He also knows who is real and not,” Says the Saddle Arabian. The Ace of Diamonds was tempted to take his mask off to make the Jack to look in his eyes, but he decides against it. He then tells her, “Listen, if we try to jump on him now, he may expect it and we’ll all get caught. After all, patience is a virtue.” All the Queen in the red dress could do for her Ace is to calm him down.

The two get out of the plateau and they stop by a cactus in the middle of nowhere, far from where any of the Diamonds could catch them. Utah parks his bike, “Thanks for the save there, but who are ya? I don’t reckon we’ve met.” The other vigilante takes their scarf off and shows who they really are. “Oh Utah, I thought you would figure out by now,” says the hooded one, revealing it to be Feather Heart. Utah becomes a bit surprised, “Guess we both had a secret or two,” as he takes his bandana off to show it’s him, “but why are ya doing this too?” Feather Heart takes a deep breath and explains herself, “That Buffalo you saw calls himself Wendigo. He tried to hurt my grandpa with some sort of dark magic. But Grandpa Thunderhooves was able to take care of him and forced him to leave the tribe.” Utah tells her, “I remember my Pa telling me about that. Didn’t that happen a long time ago?” Feather Heart continues, “That’s why I’m here. I heard him coming back, but I don’t think Grandpa can take him again.” She tells him this as she looks down, thinking to herself.

>>27937314
Feather Heart looks back at Utah, “I guess I’m asking if you want to work together?” He scratches the back of his head, “I don’t know, going alone had been working out well so far.” Feather Heart takes a mirror and gives it to Utah. He grabs it and looks at himself, seeing a bad shiner where the Ace kicked him. He tries to touch it, but stops after feeling how much it stings. He knows it will be better by at least tomorrow, but it’s probably better if he had someone to back him up. “Are you so sure about that? Since they saw how they trapped you, I don’t think they will be too afraid for a while.” Utah thinks about it, “Alright. Let’s do this, partner,” he tells her, raising his hand for a handshake. “Yeah, partner,” Feather heart says as she shakes his hand, both feeling great about this and that they can take on the Diamonds now.

End

http://pastebin.com/2TKQS9br

Comments and Criticism is always welcomed

>>27937037
I prefer the thought that she's depressed because what's the point in life when you're so rich that you can have anything you want at a moment's notice? She has everything she could ever want, and with that comes a sense of emptiness because she has nothing to strive for.

That is until she discovered cars and the thrill of traveling at ludicrously high speed while never being more than a moment away from dying in a pile of flaming wreckage and twisted steel.

>>27937406

>That is until she discovered cars and the thrill of traveling at ludicrously high speed while never being more than a moment away from dying in a pile of flaming wreckage and twisted steel.

What other Satyrs are metal as fuck?

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>Best bat
>Objectively
>Because she's an actual (fruit) vampire and not some fake ass Bat person

>>27939222
... Fuck your trips. I would normally call you a faggot whose trying to start shit; but those numbers demand otherwise.

>>27937334
I like it, but there are still some minor spelling mistakes here and there. And how did you manage to post one part of your story twice? Were you tired when you posted the story?

>>27940619
We need more Flutter family pics. What does Timber do anyway to grow the family shtick? Plant trees or something? Is he a lumberjack? We could pretty much tell what Flora and Fauna are about.

>>27940636
Ivy is some sort of herbal medicine girl... Or a carbon cooy of her mom. Timber takes care of Gizmo, if discussion counts for anything, or he is in fact a Lumberjack/Botanist. I'm guessing Thorn communes with nature or some emo shit. Flora is a nerd, because she grows up to have glasses and wears ugly sweaters. Fauna is a rodeo rider or rancher girl? I unno. Not much on the younger girls.

>>27939222
Is that Yuzu with a sweater and her hair in a ponytail?

>>27940850
IvyBat after transforming. Face looks nothing like Yuzu. Actually, I can see it in the eyes, but the face itself is slimmer. Dj really needs to work on his anime same face.

>>27940850
Agree with >>27940874
But i'd say Ivy's cheeks are chubbier and the eyes don't look anything like Yuzu's. Compare with >>27933439
They both have chinese cartoon eyes, duh, but they have slight differences in line proportion and lash.

>>27937406
Surely street racing is illegal in the Crystal Empire.

>>27941611
That never stopped people from doing it.

>>27937406
>That is until she discovered cars and the thrill of traveling at ludicrously high speed while never being more than a moment away from dying in a pile of flaming wreckage and twisted steel.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYwWwKV1JCE

>>27941611
She knows, but the smell of gasoline and burnt rubber calls to her in her dreams.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IluEIxiY8gE

Only when all else is drowned out by the sound of her engine roaring is she truly at peace.

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>>27940874
>>27940890
When I draw Ivy, I try to give her her mother's eyes (genetics and shit, yo) but I'll admit, I didn't distinguish her eyes enough in that IvyBat pic, so I can see how she'd be easily mistaken for Yuzu.
Though I tend to give Yuzu a more medium-sized bust whereas Ivy has a much, much larger bust.

>>27942273
I love Ivy's bust size.

>>27942273
Hey, DJ, I've seen it posted a bunch of times now that Yuzu has rabies, so would it be possible when you have time to have a quick doodle of Yuzu angrily yelling at the children running away from her that she in fact doesn't?

She'd probably have more luck getting them to believe her if she wasn't foaming at the mouth, but it's not her fault she feels the need to brush her teeth after even a small snack.

>>27943014
Yuzu doesn't have rabies. She's immune to it because of her bat genes. The only way she could give anyone rabies is if she bit them immediately after consuming infected blood.
She always makes sure to brush her teeth well before feeding on friends.

>>27943319
>feeding on friends
See, this is why people don't like hanging out with her. Well that and her intolerable stupidity.

>>27943422
She only feeds on friends consensually of course.
If you don't want her to, just say no if she asks.
She only feeds on people she really likes though, so you should feel honored.

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>>27943422

"Yuzu, babybat, what have I told you about biting your friends?"
>"But daddy, I barely hit bone at all!"
"That doesn't make it okay, sweetie."

>>27943440
She makes you fill out a "friendship application form" upon getting to know her. It has check boxes for whether you're okay with various activities such as, but not limited to...

>hugging
>watching movies together
>telling ghost stories
>playing dress up
>giving one another makeovers
>being fed upon for sustenance
>brushing one another's hair
>shopping together
>gossiping about cute boys
>lezzing out
>camping trips
>bitching about the girls they don't like.

The list goes on.

There is a "yes to all" box that can be checked, but this has caused problem with potential friends that haven't read the complete terms & conditions and don't know what they're getting themselves into.

>>27943546
But what if it's a boy that's trying to become her friend?

>>27943481
She wouldn't bite hard enough to hit bone if she was just feeding on someone. Just lightly, barely enough to puncture the skin so she can suck the blood that trickles out.

>>27943572
No boys allowed.

>>27943574
Give her a break, she just got caught up in the moment.

>>27943572
Then it would be "straighting out" instead.

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>>27943591
Followed by getting their teeth kicked in.

>>27943613
I don't picture Anon as the violent type. A stern talking to, maybe.

>>27943628
You ever been at a friends house, and they get in trouble and their dad tells you 'Would you give us the room please, we need to have a talk.'
And when he comes out and you go back in, your friend looks like he just saw Satan himself?

>>27943668
Nope, can't say that I have.

>>27943628
I'm not the violent type either. I never even raised my voice in anger once, but that punk looks like a total fag who'd try to bang your daughteru just so he could brag about it to his friends regardless of how it made her feel.