Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

Luna is a shit

>>27864663
Who operates the doc?

It seams out of date. As i go through the pastebins of the writefags.

>>27864712
It's more of everyone's responsibility to update it, but no one really cares that much. I mean, if you want to, go ahead, have a field day.

>>27864712
The doc and pastebin are both incredibly outdated.

AWAKEN MY MASTERS!!!

that means you writefags.

>>27864712
>>27864739
You leave ole Doc alone, he never hurt nobody!

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>>27864663
Oh, Lyra... you don't need to drug me.

>>27865094
After you swapped drinks with her and reverse drugged her.

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>>27865140
I like the way you think.

>>27865094
Don't know if poneh drugs can affect humans.
Humans have a much larger body mass compared to ponehs.

>>27865343
why the fuck are you deliberately misspelling ponies like that

>>27865373
What, don't you want to poneh a poneh poneh?

>>27865373
Your summer is showing

>>27865140
>Reverse drug pony
>Sobers them up
>Sobers them up too much
>They are now knurd
>They just stare at you blankly as the weight of the world bears down on their pony mind

>>27864956
huh wuh-
who
whozis

>>27864737
I actually would have cared if I knew I could literally just add myself into the bin whenever I wanted. Unfortunately, shortly before starting to write green I got a flu shot which struck me with down syndrome and now i no thnk so gud or can si how do thing rite untl long times

That's my way of saying that I'm in the OP now ayyy

>>27865486
If I could buy you in a general store I would purchase ten copies, sir.

>>27865343
I might try my hand at a green on this in a few hours...

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>>27865656
i feel the rape green story is coming

>>27865656
Wanna see that hand on other things if you get what I mean...
ponuts, I mean ponuts

>>27864663
If you grew up with pony
Would you be the childhood friend that she likes but is afraid to tell you for fear of you not feeling the same way?

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>Stallions are only interested in sex when estrus rolls around.
>All other times, it's like they have a switch on their libido that is stuck on "off". Arousing a stallion is hard out of season.
>Mares, however, still have a sex drive out of estrus. And they would never try to force a stallion into it.
>Long an short of it, being a mare is a frustrating experience.
>On top of that, sex is usually only used for procreation, sans a mare """unexpectedly""" needing a few tries to make it stick.

>Then comes Anon, who introduces sex for bonding and a year-round active libido to his surprised waifu.

>>27865699
According to Frosty the answer to that question is a cute, fun, lengthy, yes.

http://pastebin.com/swpuxdDV

>>27865699
>Be Pony, a pony in Equestria.
>Your parents were not very imaginative.
>You and your friend Anonymous are at a party.
>Both of you are doing party things.
>Drinking, eating, pinning the tail on the donkey, running away from the donkey.
>After you and the gals lost the donkey in the streets, it was back to party games.
>but as time went on you started getting a bit buzzed.
>Neither you or Anonymous are lightweights.
>You've had like three ciders.
>He drank a whole bottle of ponyclear.
>Then asked for another.
>Damn that apelien is scary, packing away those.
>They have like 8% alcohol in them.
>Fucking ayys.
>If only...
>"Onward, mighty steed!"
>What?
>WHAT?
>Anonymous just climbed onto your back.
>You trot forwards, driven forward by some instinct.
>You don't really pay attention to where you're going, just letting him guide you.
>Your attention is more focused on his penis.
>You can feel it on your back, a layer of fabric separating it from you.
>You've only seen it a few times, back when you were both much younger.
>You really hope that you'll get to see it again.
>And maybe do more than just look.

>>27865699
>Calm yourself, mare!
>Tell him you like him!
>It's just Anon!
>He's been your friend since you both were infants!
>Look, he's right there on the other side of the couch, huddled in a blanket.
>Just confess to him.
>Remember that he's your good friend.
>I-It's okay if you tell him you like him in "that way", right?
>B-But what if he doesn't like you back!?
>Dear Celestia, what if he'll HATE you for it!?
>What will all the rest of the mares say to you?
>>"Wow, really? You couldn't even talk to your FRIEND?"
>>>"What a damn shame, mare. Hey, mind if I ask him?"
>No!
>You're going to ask him right here, right now!
>You glance at him and all of your confidence falters.
>It's no use.
>He's way out of your league.
>He's got wonderful eyes like pools of glistening emerald.
>He's got a body to die for.
>His face is handsome, chiseled like a--
>"Hmm? What are you talking about?"
>Drats! You were talking to yourself again!
>StupididiotselfIhateyousomuch!
>"Hello? You there?"
"O-Oh, nothing. Just spacing out."
>"Alright, then."
>Anonymous' mouth pursed into a thin line.
>Buck it, might as well give up and try another time.
>Like the rest of those other attempts.

>Be Anon, huddled up in a blanket opposite to your favorite, beautiful pony on the couch.
>"O-Oh, nothing. Just spacing out."
"Alright, then."
>You're really into this mare you've been friends with since growing up.
>And you've been waiting for forever for her to just pick you up and kiss you.
>You wonder if it would be a bit taboo for you to ask her out on a romantic date.
>After all, she is the mare.
>She'd probably not reciprocate though.
>You mentally sigh and purse your lips.
>God, she's really pretty.
>You guess you'll never know.

>>27865941
I hate life right now.

>>27864673
You shut your whore mouth.

>>27864673
You kiss your mother with that mouth?

>>27866047
With tongue, clearly.

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>>27864956
It's 8 in the morning, you ass. Fuck me, I need to figure out how to set the timer on my coffee machine.

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>>27865905
>Ponewaifu realizes that with great power comes great responsibility.

>>27866123
>"Hey, powerwaifu, where have you been yesterday? You've missed saturday hoofball"
>>"Yeah, sis, and you walking kinda funny"
>>>"Wait, girls, that smell... I-it can't be, t-that's not p-possible. How!?"
"I had snu-snu..." *proud and dreamy horse noises*

>>27865941
moar?

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>>27865941

>>27866207
>>27866224
God, I really need to leave my oneshots less open-ended. Not planning on continuing it really, lest I lose motivation to write for the same thing. If you guys really want, I think I could pump something out tomorrow or the day after.

>>27865473
nice try faggot

only niggers from ponychan type like that
use ponies or pones like a non subhuman

>>27866714
What about Poni?

>>27865343
>>27866714
Uh huh, you two can compare dicks when you meet. Keep it off the thread.

L&P is muh waifu

>>27866800
you cant tell me what to do

>>27866819
What are you gonna say next?
Let me guess
"YOU'RE NOT EVEN MY REAL ANON!"
or
"I WISH I HAD A BETTER ANON THAN YOU!"

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>>27865905
This needs lots of green!

I just reread Shukaku20's Venus story and wow is Cadence a cunt.
>Will Anon give her a baby
Fuck her and her barren, lifeless vagina. She already got a kid and she fucked it all up.

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>>27865905
>afterwards mare lays there with a far off, shellshocked look on her face from getting railed so hard for so long

>>27867034
It's like you want to start another shitstorm.

>>27867034
Speaking about old stories though, I am relatively new to this thread and after binge reading Shukaku20's "To Act A God" Gotta say I was impressed.

>>27867264
Something about those eyes seem...off.

>>27867275
The perspective is way off too. Unless Twilight has a single massive ass cheek and a normal/small one.

>>27867087
Shuks a pretty okay guy
Long term writefag who keeps pumping stuff out
We may have our disagreements but he's not a cockgargling assblasted faggot over that, just a normal faggot, the bro kind who is always willing to help you with your interior decorating.
He goes way back to the early days of AiE, back when men were tanks and horses were space marines.
He believes that one day he will wash away the shame of the timberwolf incident.
He is wrong.
Because that's not shame, it's pride.
His timberwolf fetish will one day bring him to write the epic that will introduce the masses to AiE and become an international bestseller.
We still don't know if this will be from people wanting to read the books or to burn them, our researchers are divided on that matter.
Overall he is a true hero who is not paying me to bolster his reputation in any way.

>>27867281
Yeah that timberwolf thing. LOL.

>>27867368
It was like a really hot timberwolf though.
Not your average run of the mill one.
At least a 7/10, maybe a 9.

>>27867392
Sounds like good times, link?

>>27867417
http://pastebin.com/zhz0qgLM
He fucked a timberwolf. There's no way around it, but it's OK, Shuk, we're not here to kinkshame you.

>>27867438
I think I remember this one, it was pretty good.

>>27867417
www.pastebin.com/Shukaku20/Timberwolf_Girl_Goes_Awoooooood/4U

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Shell

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When?

Not gonna do a third one panel I guess. Maybe supersecret 4th one in the future

>>27866819
Yes he can, he got dubs.

>>27867606
I'm gonna guess you didn't check last thread and repost what CK wrote.

>You feel like garbage
"Augh...Damn."
>Your head throbs as you blink the sleep out of your eyes
>What happened last night?
>You look around, and you're glad to find that you're at least in a bed
>Your bed
>...The best bed
>Shit, you're tired
>You vaguely remember downing an entire bottle of Gryphonian whiskey...and that's it
>Screw it, you'll find out later
>You pull off the covers and sit upright to stretch, joints popping as you go through a range of motions
>Oooh, that's good
>Aaaand judging by how much it stings to try looking out of your window, it should be midday at this point
>Whatever, it's a day off anyways
>With much effort, you drag yourself out of bed and make way for the kitchen
>Coffee's just a bunch of bullshit; what you need is time...
>...
>...and a lot of water
>Yeah, you're going right back to sleep after this
>"Mrrrrrr."
>The hell was that?

>>27867624
>You turn to the noise and find a little pone on your couch
>A pretty one, too
>Pegasus, little shell with a fuse for her butt mark, 9/9 would buy as a plushy
>The mare's all tuckered out, and she kicks her hoofsies every once in a while in sleep
>She doesn't snore, and instead mumbles something about donuts every once in a while
>Wow, that's cute
>But the question is: How did she get here, on your couch?
>You try again to remember more of what happened
---
>'Eat my ass, Big Mac, ya fruity bastard! I'll show what I can do with this pineap-'
---
>Yeah that's enough of last night
>So, there's a mystery mare on your couch, and you have a half-day to burn
>Think, Anon
>If you're the chick who was completely smashed last night and woke up finding a qt3.14 on your couch, what would you do?
>Play victim?
>No, that's too fucked up
>Yell at him to get out?
>But you can't bring yourself to scream at the little horsey
>Snuggle with him?
>Ehh, that sounds about right
>You slowly sit down on the couch and bring the mare onto your lap and entangle her in your arms
>Japanese schoogirls, Batman, she's soft
>Burying your face into her mane, you take a whiff
>Huh
>She smells like a bakery for some reason: Like bread fresh out of an oven with other hints of sweetness
>Well, then again, you don't see any oceans near Ponyville, so maybe that's where she works
>"Huh whuh?"
>Oh, she woke up

>>27867630

>As of right now, you are the definition of regret
>Mare, why did you get drunk last night?
>Ugh, you probably did something dumb while sloshed- you do stupid things everyday even without alcohol
>Wait
>Why are you so...comfy right now?
>You wriggle around, and there's something wrapped around you
>As much as that evidence leads you to believing you ended up in Minuette's dungeon again, her meat locker isn't this warm
>And it definitely doesn't breathe on your head
>Oh no
>It's much worse
>You crack open one eye, expecting to see some spooky scares
>Except there wasn't any
"Huh whuh?"
>It's a regular living room- no whips or hot wax whatsoever, no ma'am
>The bondage on you is just...limbs
>And that means...you're next to a colt
>Nevermind, it got worser
>Because that means you did a bad
>Lil' Sea Shell went out and bedded a colt!
>Most likely against his consent!
>"Morning."
>HE STILL DOESN'T REMEMBER! QUICK! EXPLAIN YOURSELF WHILE BEING SMOOTH AS A CUCUMBER!
"AH, BU-BUH, ERM EHHH-"
>THAT'S THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF EXPLAINING YOURSELF!
>"Woah, there. You alright?"
"I-AHH I'M SORRY I WAS ALIVE I'LL GET THE NEAREST NIPPONE STEEL TO COMMIT SUDOKU-"
>And then everything stopped
>Because it feels like Elysium behind your ears
"Sweet strawberry jam, that feels good."
>"Mmhmm."
>Whatever that colt's doing, it's helping you relax
>And you want more
>"All calmed down now?"
"Err, yeah. I think."
>"Good."
>The good feeling stopped, and you whine in protest
>He chuckles at your frustration
>"There'll be more later. Now, let's figure out what happened last night together."

>>27867597
>>27867606
Floppy ears are great.

>>27867597
aww
i wanna give that pegasususus a hug

>>27867624
I've checked, and that's the next one in the list actually. I just hoped to finally go from paper to tablet at that week, but when that busted, decided to continue sketching today. Even got a liner pen. Seems like paper and bad camera will haunt me forever...

>>27867666
Ok Satan.

>>27867666
How long you been arting Pencils?

>>27867981
Pones or in general? If first one: since '14, went with one pony related contest for fun, inspired by others works, and suddenly won a price. If second: learned since childhood but had nearly 12 years "rest" due to studying and having no free time. Still cannot recover fully

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>>27868087
Both. I was under the impression you had just picked it up from scratch like three months ago and was churning out awesome pieces like that. Felt like pic related compared to my stuff.

I feel okay now.

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>>27867677
Dang it, even lord of darkness himself doesn't want me to go from traditional to digital. Bummer

>>27868132
Meh, I still can't do some things without a help from someone or references for a hard parts of drawing (like soaked heavy Shell wings at the first picture, S1E2 Dash helped to understand how they looks like. The only ref I've used for these two sketches). And even if I eventually git gud at least like I was, it's still just sketches on a paper and photographs taken by a shitty camera with derped colors and matrix. Can't even post them all openly aside from one place and that thread because too embarrassed

Okay, too much talking, need to went back to RGRE. What about RGRE pone movies and film genres? Anyone touched that subject in greens?

>>27867666
I feel like the answer might be obvious, but...
wtf is with the Beelzebub trips in RGRE, didn't that JUST happen in the thread before last? Who's been sacrificing lambs in here?

>>27868395
Don't be so hard on yourself pencil. You should spread your stuff around even if it's not well captured. You do good work, that stuff up there is solid.

>>27866714
PONEH
O
N
E
H

>>27868938
Ugh. When I see someone write words like that, it reminds me of people who write "smexy".

I hate those people to an absurd degree.

>Minotaurs mostly consist of a hunter society
>Labyrinthia is smack dab in the center of monster land, and trained minos are often tasked to eliminate any "issues" that are bothering with the general populace
>Although males tend to take up more domestic roles(Taking care of the family, cooking, etc.), it isn't uncommon to see a bull in a hunting group every once in a while
>Anon, a part of the hunting guild, is tasked with taking several ambassadors from Canterlot on a hunting trip to show them the "Wonders of Minos culture"
>Sexist pones do sexist pone things and Anon has to save their asses on several occasions

>>27868993
>"Anon, are those... what to the minotaurs call them.... bulls in that hunting group?"
"Yup. It's not uncommon to see-"
>"Well, that isn't very professional. I can't imagine that the bull is as capable as the cow at hunting."
>A few minotaurs glance you way; your little pony friend here is gathering a bit of unwelcome attention.
"Not at all. While bulls-"
>"Does he provide, ahem, "support", Anonymous? Hmm?"
>Your pony friend winks and nudges you with a hoof.
>One of the bulls glares at you and stands up, but his buddy grabs him by the elbow and pulls him back down.
>You think it's time to move on to the next area.

>>27869343
>>27868993
I am very into this idea.

>>27868395
Nah, man. I think you should make the jump to digital. I think it'd look sweet.

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>Be Rarara
>It had been an... interesting day
>Perhaps not the most interesting day that you've ever had-- not by a long shot-- but it was the most interesting day that you've had in awhile
>"Yeah... Yeah, right there, Nonny. Yeah~ Just like that..."
>You honestly didn't think that you'd be helping to quell a stallion riot when you woke up this morning
>Go out and take a stroll around the park possibly, or make your merry way down to the market to see if any exotic fabrics had made their way into town could have been a realistic activity as well
>"Yeah~ Really work those wigglers of yours. Momma likes it rough~"
>You might have even taken Sweetie and her friends out for ice cream in a bout of serendipitous fancy...
>Sighing softly to yourself, you looked up at the cloudless, deep blue sky
>The sun was at its apex, making it warm, but not so warm that one would begin to sweat the moment that they went outside
>"Right there, right there, right there, rightthererightthererightthere. Lower... Loooooower... Yeaaaaaaaaahhhhhh~"
>A faint breeze caressed your face
>Your nostrils flared, taking in the smell of wild flowers, cut grass, and sweat
>The smells of summ--
>You twitched as Pinkie began to... RUB herself against you
>Frowning gently, you scooched away from your pink friend
>But, alas, the couch that you were sitting on was a rather small one, and with Twilight, as tense and uncomfortable as you've ever seen her, sitting to your right you weren't able to move very far at all
>In no time at all you could feel Pinkie's rump once again brush against yours as she wiggled, cooing and groaning as if she was the only one to hear such noises
>Your frown deepened
>Just look ahead, dear
>If you just keep those eyes forward you'll be able to ignore the--
>You jumped in place as you felt Pinkie's hoof lightly hit your knee
"Pinkie! MUST you take up half of the couch?!" you demanded, your gaze snapping over toward the pink party pony

>>27869506
ITS LAP

Oh, I almost forgot: This is another get cutter get butter part. In case you were wondering

>>27869520
Thank you.

>>27869520
>She was quite a sight
>Lying on her back, her tongue lolled out with a far off look in her eyes as one of her back legs slowly kicked
>And not only kicking but kicking YOU
>Pinkie was lying in Anonymous's lap, lost to everything in the world except one of the human's hands, which was scratching her stomach
"Pinkie!" you barked, trying to get her attention. "Pinkamena! Restrain yourself!"
>The far-off, misty look in Pinkie's eye dissipated as she looked at your frowning face
>"Whatzat? Huh?" she muttered, picking her head to look at you. "Rarity? Did you say something?"
"Of course I said som--"
>Your eyes darted to Anon, who was looking at you with a raised eyebrow
>Realizing that you were about to lose your temper, in front of a stallion no less, you quickly coughed into a hoof to collect yourself
"What I MEAN to say, Pinkie dear, is that I don't think having Anonymous rub your stomach--"
>"Tummy."
"--STOMACH will get those stallions out of that gym."
>Pinkie looked over at the gym in question before she looked down at Anonymous's hand, which was now hovering just above her stomach, with a small frown
>"I don't know about that, Rarity. One of those meanies over there looks like he'll come out ANY minute if we just keep--"
>"You've been making Anon do that for the past hour and a half, Pinkie," Twilight snapped, a blush on your face. "Nopony's coming out that gym for Celestia's sake! Now stop flashing us and SIT UP!"
>Your eyes nearly wandered toward Pinkie's... genitalia, but you stopped just shy of her teats
> N-No Homo
>You didn't need to see THAT
>Pinkie might as well have been shaking it in your face for half the afternoon but you did NOT need to see that
>...Sweet Celestia, did that filly have no sense of decency?!
>Pinkie lifted her head up a little more so that she could look down at herself
>"...Oh... oops," she said, FINALLY closing her back legs with an apologetic expression. "Sorry, I didn't--"

>>27869520
I'm in time for once!

>You are Anon
>God help you
>After Bomb Shell's face un-pugged, you offered to buy her a drink as an apology
>A nice, cool strawberry sizzle
>(extra sugar, but you didn't let her see that part of the order)
>For a while, everything was ok
>Tiny horse perched on your lap
>Adorable, sparkly eyes staring deep into your own
>Blush... forming on her... cute face
>S-senpai noticed her
>But then she did the...turning around thing that a cat does before sitting down
>Slammed her flank on your lap
>u-unf
>And then started tormenting you

>*wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle*
>You are Bo-SEA SHELL
>But you could be forgiven for thinking you were somepony else
>I mean, a total 11/10 qt horsebando minotaur hits on you and you totally mare up and nothing bad happened at all and you swept him off his hooves and took him home and rutted all ni-
>You clop your forehooves together in glee as your mental movie continues to play out
>I mean, you can hope now!
>You didn't bomb it!
>Ooooh you're so happy you just can't stop WIGGLING
>You broke the ice with a colt....like...thing
>A male
>And now he's having another drink with you
>And then you walk him home and ask for some coffee
>And then...
>You stop wiggling for a moment, suddenly deep in thought

>You are Anon
>Thank you Lord; you don't need more mares following you home from popping a public boner
>You sigh deeply as you will the kraken back to it's cav-

>Hmmmmm....
>You know, thinking back to your foalhood....
>....you're not sure what happens then.
>But daddy always giggled whenever mom told that story, so...
>...so it must be something good!
>And then kisses and horse-hugs and then foals and then you can parade him around town and rub his flank RIGHT IN MOM'S STUPID HORSE FAC-
>You can't help but full-body wiggle right now cause EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL-

>>27869552
ohshi. You go first, sorry.

>>27869520
>>27869541
This is obviously a continuation of Big Mac's Big Gay Adventure: Anon's Ass Alchemy

>>27869552
>"It's fine," Twilight said
>It really wasn't
>Mares didn't present themselves to mares for hours at a time, even if they didn't realize that they were doing such a thing
>...
>...But Pinkie Pie was your friend
>And you didn't hurt your friends' feelings
>...
>Even if you wanted to slap her upside head every once in awhile
"It's fine, Pinkie darling," you lied, leaning over a hair to pat her on the wither. "We are all forgetful sometimes..."
>Pinkie looked up at Anonymous, who simply patted her on the head
>"It was worth a try, Pank, but I don't think we're gonna get any takers with belly rubbing," he said, picking her up and setting her onto the ground
>As Pinkie awed you looked down at the mare
>Why did Anonymous set her on the ground?
>There was more than enough room to--
>"Alright, you're next, Rare."
>Your eyes widened as the big stallion, still wearing the extremely lewd ensemble that you had made for him, slide toward you
>Though you had made it in the span of twenty minutes, you had to admit that it looked quite fetching on him
>You would have very much preferred to have a little more time on it, since it seemed that you had made everything a SMIDGE too small
>Despite yourself, you let your eyes wander the human's body
>Down his bare chest and stomach to his thick, powerful legs
>You could see the cock sleeve that you had made for him STRAINING against his stallionhood as he wiggled over toward you
>Anonymous hadn't let you take any measurements of... THAT area, so you were forced to guess the proper measurements
>You tried to take into account Anonymous's stature when guessing but you had been off
>Very, very off...
>In fact, you couldn't for the life of you figure out how he even managed to squeeze--
>A pair of rough, calloused hands snaked under your rear legs, bringing you out of your thoughts
>A bit of red came to your cheeks as your gaze snapped up to Anon's face
>...
>He hadn't noticed where you gaze had settled had he?

>>27869552
>>27869603
WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING

>>27869630
>Seeing Anonymous's raised eyebrow, you could help but wince slightly
>Oh goodness...
>He had...
>"Getting an eyeful there, Rare?" he casually asked as he picked you up as if you were a filly
>You squirmed in his grip, your face reddening
"My apologies, Anonymous. I was simply--"
>A soft grunt escaped your lips as Anon sat you in his lap, making sure to move your tail out of the way so that you didn't sit on it
>Ignoring the slightly emareculating feeling of sitting in a stallions lap, you couldn't help but marvel at the feeling of the human's thighs against your rump
>You could feel short, slightly coarse hairs over every inch of his legs, though it wasn't nearly as thick and plentiful as your fur
>Because of this you could feel Anonymous's oddly soft skin
>It was an odd, odd sensation, one that you had never felt before
>It was so odd in fact that you, with wide eyes, gasped, placing a hoof against your chest
"Oh my goodness..."
>You could feel the rumble in Anon's chest as he chuckled, giving your head a pat
>While you usually didn't appreciate that-- it took AGES to coerce it into shape-- you were still too shocked to even register it
>"Alright. The belly rubbing didn't work," Anonymous said, far more causal than he should be at the moment. "So we're gonna have to try something else..."
>Anonymous looked at the three of you
>Pinkie was looking up at you with envy and a bit of mirth in her eyes and had once again Twilight had chosen to keep her gaze fully glued to the edge of the couch
>Her wings were ruffling against her sides, you couldn't help but notices, and that blush on her face was getting deeper and deeper
>Twilight, bless her soul, was a mare that had a certain picture of what a stallion was and how they were to act
>Oh, she'd deny that until she was as blue as Rainbow Dash but you knew better
>That was just something that all mares, and stallions for that matter, had had beaten into them since before they had gotten their cutiemarks

>>27869648
Writefags are selfish creatures.
Also fuck you BNW I was gonna post Shell first

>>27869672
this is getting DANGEROUSLY cute

>>27869691
Nothing personnel, kid.

>>27869672
>Even you, a VERY open-minded mare, had an idea of what a stallion did and did not do, as did you have a mental image of what a mare was and wasn't supposed to do
>A mare was supposed to act like this, a stallion was supposed to say and do this, and this and that and some such thing happened whenever the two came together
>No stallion, be they pony, gryphon, or what have you, willingly dressed up in the outfit that you had provided
>A stallion didn't pluck a mare out of her seat and set her in his lap
>A stallion's legs weren't supposed to feel this ODD
>Yet here Anon was, as calm and collected as you had ever seen him, dressed up in attire reserved for a mare's most depraved private fantasies
>That was what was making the poor girl so flustered
>And your thoughts on the matter...
>...
>Well...
>You knew that Anonymous was... different; he walked differently, he talked differently, he carried himself in a different manner from others that you've met
>And even with that in mind, you knew that this wasn't a common activity of Anon's
>He was only doing this for the sake of his place of business and the reputation of said business
>This was truly a once and a lifetime occurrence, something that you were positive would never happen EVER again...
>"Do you ladies have any suggestions? Or do you want to let it be touch and go?"
>That being said...
>There was something delightly thrilling about how casual he was about all of this
>He had never been shy about touching ponies-- treating them like overly large dogs if you were being honest with yourself-- but that, coupled with that outfit...
>With that sleeve that fit not at all and a ball bra that could barely contain his orbs...
>You found yourself wiggling your hips against the human's lap as you bit your lip
>You couldn't help but shiver at the foreign feeling of his bare skin rubbing against your coat
>Gentlemare
>You are a GENTLEMARE, Rarity
>REMEMBER

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>>27869753
Rarity's letting a little rapeyness through.

>>27869753
"As we said b-before, Anonymous: the girls and I-I do not wish to make you uncomfortable in any w-way," you quietly insisted, pressing your back against his chest
>There was even less hair on Anonymous's chest you noticed
>You, for the life of you, had never felt anything like it
>You couldn't even bring anything to mind that came close to the feeling
"You d-do what is comfortable, Anon. I shall simply sit here and let you have your-- do what you will."
>GENTLEMARE
>FOR GOODNESS SAKE!
>Mustering what courage you could, you looked up at Anonymous
>You could feel Twilight's gaze upon you, you knew that Pinkie was staring at you with those devious blue eyes of hers
>You couldn't look at either of them
>If you did you'd have to get out of Anonymous's lap, apologize, and a whole mess of other silly things
>So you looked up at Anonymous
>The human was staring down at you, a thoughtful look in his eyes
>He was tugging at his beard, which he had refused to let you even touch
>Though you had complained that it threw off his entire outfit now, looking up at it, you couldn't help but feel that it looked... fitting
>It gave him a...
>...
>Not kingly; it was too wild to be called that...
>Not wizened; there wasn't nearly enough gray, and besides, one of Anonymous's stature couldn't be called wizened...
>Your nose scrunched as you searched for a word that would fit his... persona
>As deep in thought at you were, you didn't notice Anon placing his hands on your hips with surprising tenderness, his fingertips lightly brushing up against your cutiemarks
>Though you couldn't see it, neither Pinkie nor Twilight were looking at you
>Their hesitant, unblinking gaze was settled on Anonymous and his hands
>The human's eyes snapped over to his gym
>You could see them narrow slightly as his fingers reached the top of your thighs
>You squeaked, finally realizing that he was touching you, jumping slightly

>>27869802
>>You could see them narrow slightly as his fingers reached the top of your thighs
aww shit

>>27868497
Hmm, maybe I'll upload those sketches on derpi in a future, when I'll became more confident that means never. The vectors of Chryssi from that thread, some stuff not related to that thread but lined by a friends, it all looks sweet like >>27869498 predicted, even if I cannot digitize them on my own

>>27869691
>>27869744
The more S.S. the merrier

And now shhh, it's time for a bed story from LaP

>>27869802
>One of your back legs twitched as you felt his body rub up against yours from the unexpected movement
"A-Anonymous?..."
>You could feel his fingers tapping against your legs, playing out some unknown tune that only he knew
>Now thoroughly embarrassed, you tried to close your back legs to protect your modesty
>But Anonymous, with that herculean strength of his, not only held your legs apart but spread them a little
"A-Anonym--"
>"Shush, I'm thinking..."
"But--"
>"Shush."
>...
>You couldn't use your tail to cover yourself, and Anon had your legs in his grasp
>You were exposed
>Just like Pinkie had been a few minutes prior, your marehood was on full display to any that cared to look
>Your eyes snapped to Pinkamena, who, with a red face, had turned to look at you
>You then looked down toward your teats and your marehood, exposed as they were
>A low whine escaped your throat
"A-Anonymous, I must insist--!"
>"I can see you fuckers looking," Anonymous growled, teeth bared. "Yeah, you keep looking."
>One of his hands left your right leg, it's fingertips tickling your fur as it went up toward your stomach
>You tried to snap your legs shut once more, to protect your dignity if nothing else, but, to your horror, you found that both of your legs were immobile
>Even your free leg, unhindered by anything, did not so much as twitch
>It was like you were under a spell
"Hah~ A-Anonymous," you panted, squirming in his lap as you felt his warm, coarse hand touch your stomach
>Your heart was pounding in your chest
>Embarrassment and helplessness was filling your entire being
>But there was another emotion
>Another powerful, all-encompassing feeling that was making your heart race and your breath quicken
>Sucking in a lungful of air, you closed your eyes
>Just breath, Rarity old girl
>Just breath and--
>You felt the air leave your lungs as Anonymous's fingers began to drum against your stomach

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>>27869846
l-lewd

>>27869846
"A-ANON! WHA--"
>"Shush."
>Those hands of his were rather low on your belly you noticed
>Just a hair's breadth away from your teats
>If he simply moved his hand a little lower...
>Another whine escaped your throat as you looked back up at Anonymous
>There was a calculating look in the human's eyes
>Since he had set you in his lap he hadn't looked at you a single time, you realized
>Or had he?
>...
>You couldn't even recall at this point
>All you knew now was that he had you lying there, totally under his power, and the activity hadn't even required his full attention
>You could hear your heart pounding in your ears as the blood rushed to your face
"A-Ano..."
>Thoughts of chivalry and nobility evaporated from your mind each time that one of Anonymous's fingers tapped against your stomach
>You could feel Twilight's gaze on you as well as Pinkie's intensify
>They were no longer trying to be subtle about it; staring at the two of you out of the corner of their eyes as they muttered disapproving words
>They were looking full on in disbelief, enraptured by what was happening right before their eyes
>A stallion did not do something like this
>They couldn't...
>They mustn't...
>Such a thing was unheard of...
>You bit your lip, grinding yourself a little more firmly in his lap
>You could almost feel it
>It was tucked in between those thick, powerful thighs, but perhaps, with a little effort, you migh--
>A shiver ran up your spine as Anonymous's warm, moist breath washed over your neck
>"Rara," he said, his voice booming in your ear. "I think I have an idea on how to rile those fuckers up."
>His hand pressed a little more firmly against your stomach
>You wiggled, finding that you were trapped against him

>>27869879
>You opened your mouth to say something
>Demand that he release you
>But you couldn't...
>...
>You couldn't...
>"I heard them talking about horns a couple of times before they went and fucked up my gym," Anonymous continued, acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary. "Now, this might get a little weird but just roll with it. If it gets too weird though the safe word is onomatopoeia?"
>Onomawhata?
>What on earth was this stallion on about?
>What did you need a saf--
>Your eyes shot open as you felt Anonymous nuzzle the top of your head
>He was taking long, deep breaths, as if savoring your scent
>His other hand left your other leg, traveling up your stomach, past your chest, and finally resting under your chin
>With a single finger, he slowly lifted your head up
>You could see him looking at your horn
>...
>Why on earth would he--
>Your eyes widened when you saw him licking his lips
>What?
>...
>He wouldn't...
>Even he had to...
>...
>Not out here in front of your FRIENDS...
>He--
"A-Aha~"
>Your entire body convulsed as Anon wrapped his lips around the tip of your horn
>"HEY! LOOK AT THAT! LOOK AT WHAT THAT PIG'S MAKING HIM DO!"
>"ANON, STOP! DON'T PUT YOUR MOUTH ON THAT! YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S BEEN!"
>"ANONYMOUS!"
>For a few long moments you could do nothing but stare
>Anonymous's brow was furrowed as he began to gently suckle
>From the expression on his face you could tell that he had no idea what he was doing
>...
>This was his first time doing something like this...
>A loud, throaty moan escaped your lips as you felt his tongue swirling around your horn
>You could feel the pink muscle teasing your ridges, lubricating your bony appendage
"B-Buck~"
>...
>Buck it
>Being a lady was out the window
>Rarity wanty horn sucky
>You tried to lean up, to force more of your horn into the human's mouth, but he simply pushed you back down into his lap
"Anon~" you whined
>Anonymous didn't seem to even hear you, so focused on his task was he

>>27869927
>You whined again, your nostrils flaring as you squirmed against the giant stallion
>You could smell the sharp, masculine scent of a stallion in the air
>You could also smell the stink of an aroused mare mixing in with the summer grass and sweat
>Another groan escaped your lips as you began to rub your back against Anonymous's chest
>...
>That was your musk...
>Your scent...
>Your arousal...
>Hugging yourself, you rubbed your back legs together, trying and failing to relieve the heat building there
>You could feel a wetness dripping down your legs
>If Anonymous kept it up that wetness was going to no doubt start to soak his hips
>...
>It might get between those thighs of his...
>Breathing hard, you began to grind yourself against him a little harder
>Etiquette was forgotten
>You couldn't find a horse apple to give for the fact that two of your best friends were right there watching you, just as Pinkie had been
>But Anonymous hadn't done this to her...
>He didn't have his way with her in such a way...
>Your reputation, your shame, everything was forgotten
>The only thing that you recognized now was that warm, wet mouth around your horn and that heat between your legs
"A-A-Anonymous," you gasped, looking up at him, forcing your eyes to focus. "P-P-Please..."
>You craned your neck, rubbing your horn against his lips
"M-More..."
>Anonymous raised an eyebrow at your pleading expression
>For a horrible, heart-wrenching moment, you thought he was just going to tease your tip, sentencing you to squirm and gasp against him without any sign of relief
>But then you felt your sensitive horn tap against Anon's teeth
>OhmyCelestiaOWOWOWOWOWO
>You winced in pain as Anon frowned around your horn
>"Swothy," he said, giving your chest an apologetic scratch
>Nose scrunching up, he pulled back until the very tip of your horn was in his mouth once more
>You could see him rolling his jaw
>...
>Oh goodness...
>Oh goodness...

>>27869982
>Oh sweet Celestia above
>You opened your mouth to say something, but words were lost to you as Anonymous began to slowly swallow your horn
>He took inch after inch, his tongue teasing your ridges, until he had taken about half of your horn into his mou--
>erbfekjbfekjbekj!
>You expected him to begin to pull back but he didn't move
>Instead he started to suck hard, his cheeks concaving
>kejfhwlefbxwlehxfbwkhebsnfhjfjhdbfksdhvfxs,dhnsndf,hvk!
>The sight stole your breath away, and the wave of pleasure that erupted from your horn made you see white
>Your mouth opened and closed as your hips bucked
"D-D-Darl--"
>Your back legs clutched as you felt Anonymous finally pull back, keeping the incredible suction around your horn all the while
>He was using his tongue a lot more now, slathering every inch of it with his saliva
>It was wonderful, heavenly
>But you needed more
>NEEDED IT
>And, to your delight, you got more
>With each moan that escaped your mouth he'd switch up his technique
>Sometimes he'd bob his head, taking more and more of you into his pink cavern each time
>Sometimes he'd just have the tip of your horn in his mouth, sucking harder and harder
>Sometimes he's just use his tongue
>His wonderful, wonderful tongue
>You could feel a thin sheen of sweat coating your body as you panted and gasped and groaned

>>27870027
S U C C

>>27870027
>His form might have been sloppy and unsure but his eagerness more than made up for it
>It, this, felt like a dream
>A dream that you very much didn't want to wake up from
"A-Aha~"
>The heat in between your legs had risen up to your belly and chest
>You couldn't, for the life of you, catch your breath
>Though your eyes had wanted to close, to truly savor the feeling of having a stallion so lavish your horn, you forced them to remain open
>To watch each suckle
>Each lick...
>Your legs were kicking and your hips were bucking
>You were close...
>So terribly close...
>Just a little more...
>Just a little...
>Anonymous's bright green eyes gazed into yours as he lazily lapped at the tip of your horn
>He was taking deep breaths through his nose
>He was readying himself
>Getting ready to do something
>"ANONYMOUS!
>"ANON!"
>"I SWEAR TO CELESTIA, IF YOU DON'T GET THE BUCK AWAY FROM HIM!"
>"PIG! RAPISTS! CUNT!"
>Your eyes widened as he once again opened his mouth and swallowed your horn
>Inch after inch he took, keeping a firm grip on your chin as you squirmed
>You expected him to stop halfway again...
>But he didn't
>He took more and more and more of you, inch by delicious inch, until his lips were resting against your forehead
>And then he started to swallow
"Ohmygoodnessdarlingwhatareyou--AHA~!"
>Stars exploded across your vision
>Your body went stiff save your hips, which were furiously bucking
>It felt as though your heart was about to burst in your chest
>Your breath completely left you
>It felt as if you were walking on clouds
"Buuuuuuucccccccccckkkkkkkkkkk~!"
>You could feel yourself coating Anonymous's legs as you came
>Each time you bucked your hips your now wet rump would slap wetly against his lap

>>27869982
I having trouble identifying this as either lewd or cute.

Cutelewd?

>>27870051
>Forcing your cum all over him
>Marking him with your scent; your stink
>As you moaned and bucked, Anon continued to swallow your horn, drawing your pleasure out for as long as possible
>It was only when you had gone limp against him, sticky and sweaty and grinning like a mad-mare, did he slowly, carefully pull away
>"Jesus Christ," he said with a cough, rolling his jaw. "That was a hell of a lot gayer th--"
>With a growl, you spun yourself around in the human's lap
>You could hear stallions shouting, guards flying around, screaming, sounds of struggling, but you paid no mind to them
>Instead, before Anonymous could open that DIRTY little mouth of his, you wrapped your hooves around his neck and pulled him roughly into a kiss
>Anonymous's eyes widened in shock as your tongue forced its way into his mouth
>His was a tiny thing compared to yours; thinner and smaller and weaker in every way
>It made so much easier to dominate his mouth
>A hungry groan escaped your lips as you deepened the kiss
>You were in control now
>You were in charge
>Anonymous was powerless against you as you had your way with him
>Lifting your rump into the air, you slammed it against his lap
>Yes~
>You liked the sound of that...
>You held the kiss as long as you could, until your lungs were burning and their were tears in your eyes from lack of oxygen
"Hah!' you gasped, sucking in a lungful of oxygen
>To your delight Anonymous was breathing as hard as you were
>And did you detect a hint of a blush in those cheeks of his?
>A smile came to your face as, holding the human close, you pressed the tip of your horn against his throat
"Oh you dirty colt," you cooed. "You dirty, dirty colt~"
>Such an act might have meant nothing to him but to Twilight, who you could hear gasping, and any other unicorn that witnessed it they'd understand the gesture immediately
>It was a declaration of ownership; an old custom that hadn't been used since the three tribes had formed into one nation

>>27870051
what is this and why do i have a boner

>>27870073
post more right this instant
my dick needs this

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>>27870073
LEWD

YOURE NEXT TWIGGY
PREPARE YOUR BODY

>>27870123
>Being so turned on that you forget an apostrophe

>>27870073
>Another furious clamor erupted behind you
>"SOMEPONY BUCKING STOP HER!"
>"GET HER!"
>"RAPE! RAAAAAAAAPE! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEE!"
>You grinned as you felt the fire rekindle in your stomach
"Twilight... Pinkie," you panted. "Could you both... be dears and... come closer? The three of us... have a VERY... naughty stallion... to see to."

>Be a very unhappy camper; otherwise known as Anonymous
>You were lied to...
>Horns didn't shoot out magical soda pop when you sucked on them long enough
>...
>FUCK
>...
>You didn't even say no homo...

>>27870074
Start here (http://pastebin.com/bZGXYtfL) and read until >>27870073.

>>27870161
Alright, I'm done. Whoever wants to go next go ahead

>>27870161
>>Horns didn't shoot out magical soda pop when you sucked on them long enough
Aww, what? That's gay.

>>27870073
I hope want to see Twilight get a wing job. Please LaP, I need this to happen, for reasons.

Just imagine sweet and naive Twilight reduced to a panting and shuddering mess by simply having her wings preened and being called a pretty pony.

>>27870161
>Horns didn't shoot out magical soda pop when you sucked on them long enough

That just raises the question on who told Anon that. My bet's on Lyra or Celestia.

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>>27870179
I need it.

>>27870169
>stopping

LaP pls

>>27870169
Twilight isn't going to be able to handle all the lewd touching, LaP. She'll pass out.

>>27870161
This was a good thing. I like more of thing.

>>27870272
Well if LaP is going to take a break you can resume your green with out fear of interrupting some one

Autistic loner anon in equestria GO

>>27870387
Go to AA's pastebin for that.

>>27870301
No. I'm passing out - work wiped me out, so I spent the time reading LaP and writing. Post more tomorrow. Sleep now.

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>>27870419
>Meanwhile I'm stuck in traffic

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>>27870419
>>27870461

It's bedtime everyone

>>27869343

>Anon has to keep the hunters from beating the shit out of the pony ambassadors on numerous occasions
>Even though they deserve it

>>27869603
OH GOD THIS IS TO PRECIOUS! I MUST HAVE MOAR!

>>27870594
this

>>27869791
Ain't nothing wrong with that.

>>27870169
Reading your green always makes me smile, LaP.

>>27870414
Amphetanon or Analpluganon?

>>27870826
Anal, dummy. Amphy was brutally killed in a plane crash.

>>27870877
I heard it was a boating accident.

Ponies treating non-wounds as though they were terrible and fatal

>Pony gets hit by a thrown pie
>Pony laments her fate before lying down to "die"
>Naps for an hour before waking up and cleaning the pie out of her fur

>>27870950
>Something explodes
>Ponies only get thrown back by the blast
>Cartoon physics don't apply to Anon, and he gets mortally injured by the oncoming shrapnel

>>27871169
i always thought that was ridiculous

if hes in another universe with different physics then why wouldnt cartoon physics not apply to him

>>27871188
It's a matter of knowledge and thought. They think the pies are killer, and explosions harmless, so that's how they react to them. Anon thinks and knows different.

>>27870414
Oh fuck I'm reading through his stuff and his Anon really is autistic

>>27871241
Why is he so over the top with the sexism?

>>27867634
Who is bomb shell

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>>27871540
The qtest qt you ever did see

>>27871540
Newly-created thread waifu. Check previous threads for more info.

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>>27871540
>>27871578
Have another depiction of her.

>>27871594
Say no to Chinese Fluttershy.

>>27871578
Heresy. That title still belongs to Celestia.
A qt for sure, but the qtest?

>>27871611
>Fruttershy

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>>27871612
Celestia is gorgeous, anon. Leave the title of 'cutest' to her little ponies.

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Imagine how bizarre Anon's relationship with RGRE Pinkie Pie would be. She is already a strange pony, and I'm willing to bet she'd be the one most willing to break the gender mould (or the least caring that she looks 'unmarely"). Ponies cuddling up with Anon is typically shown in this thread as something embarrassing to be seen doing, but I'll bet anything that Pinkie would find any excuse to lay in Anon's lap.

>Lunch break in Sugarcube Corner
>Pinkie is laying on her back in Anon's lap
>Anon tears off pieces of a muffin to feed to her while he eats his own lunch
>Mares watch shaking their heads at the display, but Pinkie couldn't care less

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>>27871611
>Say no to Chinese Fluttershy

...okay anon, sorry I tried to draw her.

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>>27871837
That sounds cute.

>>27871731
...Very well. I'll concede that point.

>>27871731
> Celestia doesn't think she's cute
> Thinks she's regal and wizened
> Feels her years
> Accepts "beautiful" as a compliment, but not cute
> Anon digs his fingers into her tuft and gives her chest a good scratching
> Hind leg kicking reflexively at the stimulation
> Anon can't get over how cute that is
> Tells her so
> Her protests fade under the onslaught of intense cuddling

>>27868978
SMEXY PONEH
M
E
X
Y

P
O
N
E
H

>>27869520
If it matters, I wasn't wondering. Because oddly enough, as a grown ass man, I can remember multiple things at once and develop a sense of place through use of contextual clues without being spoon-fed like a little bitch. Unlike some anons. Who can suck it. But thanks anyway.

>>27870052
scootaloo is cutalewd.

>>27872146
> Her protests fade under the onslaught of intense impregnation

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>>27872865
>Passive-aggressiveness of this degree

>>27872921
Is there anything greater than Celestia being heavily pregnant with your children?

>>27872970
celsestia AND luna being pregnant with your children.

>>27872865
>"God, why does movie trailers always have to show the movie's name in them?! I can tell what I'm seeing because I already know what I'm watching. Jeez, it's almost as if some people don't know the source material and need to be informed on what it is! What a bunch of dumbasses!"

>>27869648
Because you touch yourself.

>>27871865
Yes it does for best Ponk wins.

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>>27872973
true.

>>27871540
2 threads ago someone tried to play aroud the idea of "blonde haired" stereotype bimbo mare in RGRE world, i.e. looks like a normal female in every way, even 'Bombshell' for a "normal" Anon, but seen like an unlucky catastrophe (in term of flirting and appearance) by rgre marely mares, prissy stallions and herself. Thread then was flooded with ideas of her design and situations related to her and green too. We've called her Sea Shell, with Bomb Shell 'mean' nickname given by pones

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>>27870161

>>27870487
Here, tiny scrunching filly. Have a pastebin with thread waifu in it: http://pastebin.com/TSWyEtcM

>>27870594
>>27870604
>>27871540
See: http://pastebin.com/TSWyEtcM

>>27871858
I liked the thing. Always keep drawing waifus.

>>27873834
Why would a filly want a thread waifu? She obviously wants the husbando.

>>27874026
>implying a proper alpha mare doesn't want, and seek to acquire, excessive numbers of both

>>27872865
>"I'm so glad this writefag wrote a story for ME and ME alone. He only needs to take MY needs into consideration because it's all about ME."

>>27873730
>Was the Anon who posted the first post about Bombshell.
>Had no idea people would take to her so much.
>Is wiping a tear of pride from his eye.

>>27874172
>Was the Anon who posted the ponymaker image
>Also proposed the name "Sea Shell"
>This waifu's your waifu, this waifu's my waifu; from posting concepts, to posting pictures

>>27874210
That was a "This Land is Your Land" reference btw

>>27874172
Well, that thread likes to think sometimes about stuff that makes a "conflict" in rgre world by being not normal comparing to everypony else. Anon in general, races with different rgre/non-rgre standarts, tough and independent stallions like Mac or these buffy ones from LaP, and now cute feminine mares too. Yay

>You are Lyra, and you are making the BUCK out with Anon.
>You went to the Flower Sisters for some ideas because they get a lot of desperate mares who bucked up and need to buy their colt a present.
>They said that a lot of mares mumble and talk to themselves about what they're going to do.
>They had a LOT of tips for you.
>All you had to do was promise to bring Anon to their store once in awhile.
>You guess you've herded with worse, and Anon is probably a big enough slut to be down with it.
>Heh.
>That's not the only thing he's going be going down with youknowwhatimsayingfilly?
>You followed their advice and look where you are now.
>Some flowers here, a nice dinner there, a bottle of wine (pony noir, aged 3 days), and you were on the D-train to sex city.
>You probably didn't even need the booze, but it was either that or the dessert.
>Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
>Anon's wriggler-hoof things haven't moved from your withers since you started kissing him.
>Aww, is he inexperienced?
>You just might even have a virgin on your hooves.
>Your horn glows and you guide his human-hooves down your back and rest them on your flank, giving a moan of approval.
>You pull away from the kiss and stare him in the eyes.
>That's right; you belong to ME now.
>Besides, colts love it when you stare deep into their eyes.
>They also like it when you compliment their eyes, which is something you'll never understand.
"Your wrigglers feel so good, Anon..."
>That was something you learned through trial-and-error; that's how you have to learn these things when it comes to colts. Never a straight answer from them.
>Compliment them. They need to know that you like what they're doing or that they're doing "it" right. If they think they're bucking up, then they won't want to do "it" any more.
>If you compliment him too much, then he'll think YOU think he's a slut, and then he won't want to do "it" any more.
>Colts, mare. Can't live with them; can't get impregnated without them.

>>27870169
>[l-lewd intensifies]
>[homo-erotism also intensifies]

>>27870179
I second the motion. I'd write it myself, but I'm no good at writing lewd.

>>27870419
Take your time, friend. I hope work isn't burning you out too much.

>>27868993
Another good idea.

>>27870414
Shit, really? I was aiming for a tired, fed-up Anon who just kind of goes with the flow. A bit like a retail worker whose spirit is broken and just wants to go home.

>>27871241
>>27871318
Oi.

>>27874172
Sea Shell a cute. You guys are really creative, you know that?

>>27874388
Don't be so hard on yourself AA I personally enjoy your brand of lewds and such.

>>27874439
Well thank you, friend. I used to write a bunch of smut for... reasons... but I'm not sure if I've improved much at it. Still, I'll leave the lewds to the other more talented writefriends.

>>27874475
Yeah i liked your smut too and we tend to be our own worse critic as long as you dont quit you'll improve by degrees so ive heard.

>>27874475
>I'll leave the lewds to the other more talented writefriends.
If you pull your faggot head out your ass and turn to the right you should see 'AnalplugAnon-already-writes-good-smuts-ville'
And to your left is 'Don't-say-stupid-things-ville'.
We are about to arrive at 'Please-write-more-pony-smuts-ville'

>>27874521
>>27874526
Well shoot, alright, I'll keep all that in mind. I maybe-might even write a bit of smut later.

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>>27874593

>>27874526
fffuck me, I was supposed to be going to don't-say-stupid-things-ville

>>27874593
angelicsinging.wav

>>27874634
>fffuck me, I was supposed to be going to don't-say-stupid-things-ville
>"I think you're on the wrong bus sir, this is a tour bus."

Shukaku? I'm reading your barbarian celestia story and maybe I'm just dumb but where does it say when celestia turned from an earth pony to an alicorn?

>>27874693
It doesn't. She was born from an earth pony, so it's her dominant gene, versus Luna, who is born from a pegasus.

>>27874669
I want the tour bus to get hit by a bus.

>>27874730
Are you sure?

>>27870169
How the fuck are you supposed to follow that?

/thread

>>27872945
>>27872980
>>27874102
>all this butthurt

Keep crying, children.

>>27874913
What.

>>27875095
He's angry because LaP told us the title of his story.

>>27875132
Get boat get margrine?

>>27874913
Couldn't care less. Moving on

>>27875159
I don't understand what this means.

>>27875159
yes

>>27875159
Run boat serve margarinetas.

>>27875259
*serve mareginas

>>27875159
Touch fuzzy get dizzy

>>27875186
A cutter is a boat. Margrine serves the same purpose as butter.

>>27875602
Oh. I didn't know that a cutter was a boat, and you spelled "margarine" wrong.

>>27875602
*Margarine
I didn't want to say anything at first, but you did misspell it both times.

>>27875637
>>27875619
I don't use it or a spell checker, and whenever I've heard it said, the only A pronounced is the first one.

>>27875652
This is a very silly discussion we're having.

>>27875652
Google exist's dawg. Literally 5sec to see if you've spelled a word right or not.

>>27875709
The question is, why would I search a word to see if I spelt it right when I didn't think it was spelt wrong in the first place?

>>27875746
Because, matey
>and whenever I've heard it said, the only A pronounced is the first one.
Means you weren't 100% sure about the spelling, and you just assumed based off of what it sounds like. So you Google it to find out.

Wasn't there once a post in RGRiE where Anon is in the SCC licking the "milkshake" off of Rarity's horn w/o knowing what it meant?

>>27875746
The real question is why you don't have a spell checker. Every browser I use comes with one built in.

>>27875707
Yeah, but if our choices are literal shitposting, bumping every couple hours, or jokingly giving Shuk a hard time about misspelling a word, this seems better.

>>27875790
>Be Anonnon in Equustra
>Find unicorn
>Its fockin magic
>When life gives you magicc, make milkshakes
>Thats what you do
>You put it in the fridge to make it cold though first
>When it's cold you put the unicorn into the blender
>"Darling, please don't blend me"
"But how will i have my milkshake if i dont?"
>"Oh dear, it's sweetiebelle all over again"
>"How about i make it for you instead? ypu just go and wait away from all the sharp knives and dangerous power tools"
>You go to the workshop to wait for her
>Make a dick sword with your lather and shit
>Now you can ficht while you fuck and fuck while you fight
>Fucken metal
>"Dear, it's ready"
>You go back to the kitchen
>The unicorn is gone
>But you have a milkshake on the counter now
>Fuck yeah milkshake
>You drink your milkshake
>Today was a requests sometimes go unfulfilled kinda day

Fuck im tired

>>27874353
are you not continuing this?

>>27875782
You do realize I said I didn't think it was spelt wrong, and yet your post suggests I thought I might have spelt it wrong.
>>27875827
On a phone, and don't often bother with the suggestions bar unless it's to put in punctuation.

>>27875871
He's all blocked up at the moment.
Thats a buttplug joke

>>27875860
go to bed

>>27875887
You're telling me you were 100% confident in your spelling, even though you admitted you guessed off of what it sounds like?

>>27875916
im in bed though
Sleep is fucken hard

Fuck i forgot to make it rgr for you fags
just a mo

>Be still that Anon from then
>Dick sword attached to you
>Milkshake in hand
>A passing mare whistles at you
>"Hey there big guy, how about i help you sheath that sword of yours"
>Today was a barely acceptable day

>>27875931
There's a difference between being sure of your spelling and not considering it's wrong.

Anyways, getting close to being done Single Dadnon, the last update.

>>27876110
>Insane exposition dump imminent

>>27876110
If you're not sure of you're spelling, Google it.
>Means you weren't 100% sure about the spelling, and you just assumed based off of what it sounds like. So you Google it to find out.
We've done a circle.

do not update, i want to keep talking to someone. pls.

>>27876122
If you insist.
Cadence dated Anon as teens.
They banged.
A lot.
Like, almost daily at times.
She got preggo even though she thought it was impossible.
She didn't want the child, Anon did.
Shit happens, they seperate, Anon gets depressed, Cadence gets big bellied.
When the baby is had, Celestia gives it to Anon, Cadence goes back to normal life.
Anon gets a job and raises Venus solo, with Celestia helping as a sitter.
Nmm comes back, kidnaps Venus, Anon goes on a warpath.
More shit happens, he gets her back, NMM goes back to being moonbutt.
Celestia brings moonbutt to help foalsit for Anon, they slowly bond.
Romance happens.
Shit goes bad at Cadences wedding, Venus is targetted
Luna learns of Venus's origin.
Confrontations happen.
More romance and eventual wedding.
Moonbutt gets pregnant.
Venus gets hit on by colts born to be potential coltfriends for her.
Cadence is confirmed for incompatable with shining, so Anon is the key to her getting her own baby.
And that's about it in a nutshell.

>>27876276
Update when?

File: 1177328__safe_solo_twilight+sparkle_blushing_princess+twilight_underhoof_love+heart_pillow_wingding+eyes_heart+eyes.png (1MB, 1800x1600px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1800x1600px

A mare in heat will easily turn a friendly hug into a raunchy, sweaty rut. Use caution when showing affection.

>>27876517
Can I just pet her?

>>27876522
Only if you wear protection.

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>>27876522

>>27876500
Before the end of the thread, I hope.

Bringing more Lovecraft-Investigation-esque green, hope you all enjoy!
You can catch up on it here: http://pastebin.com/UGixneWK
......................
>”-well I just figured-“
“You just FIGURED what? That some monkey-colt was gonna help little filly Legraze solve mysteries in a hippie van-“
>”I chose him because I’ve worked with him. This stallion knows his stuff. And especially with a case as odd as this one-“
“So you think I can’t handle it? You think because I’ve been stuck making pocket bits that I’m not that caliber for an investigation-“
>”It’s because I’m worried about you ok? This case is dangerous; the boss won’t even let me look into it. Said we should cover the whole thing up.”
“Well, look, Q, it’s great that you care about me. ‘Bout the only bucking mare that has since the ‘incident’, but that colt better not-“
>”He’s good. Just give the poor thing a chance and stop getting your teats in a twist.”
“Fine. But if he wants to play investigator, he better learn how to handle his end of the notepad.”
>”-what was that? Speak up idiot! What?! Legraze wait! We found out-“
>You hung up the rustic pay-phone with a slam, feeling satisfied with your maresculinity
>What was she talking about at the end there?
>Probably not important
>Now to the matter at hoof
>You were calling from a pay-phone in the train station of Manehatton, which was alive and bustling with mares hurrying to make their trains on time, merchants peddling even the most impractical wares, and horridly poor mares getting scorned by stallions as they beg for scraps to get by
>Typical day in Manehatton
>The station was particularly packed today, causing an atmosphere of humidity and sickness as everypony jostled for their spots

>>27876645
>You were currently looking for your nut-for-brains partner, Anawn, or at least you think what his name was, pushing and shoving your own path through the masses, marely hat on your head and candy cigarette in your mouth
>You finally found him talking to-
>Oh buck no
>”-and I must say, being an Ivy-league graduate, with utter perfection no less, would make for a large sum of wealth in your pocket too, jungle-colt. What do you say you come for a ride with me?”
>Anon appeared confused and at least mildly displeased at the abominable mare for whom your hatred flowed like the Styx
>”That won’t be necessary miss-“
>”Presses. Yellow Presses to be exact, but you can call me Yelly.”
>”Right. Miss Presses. I’m waiting on my partner here, and I’ll have you know that I’m a recognized P.I. under Celestia’s jurisdiction, Class U-“
>”AHAHAHAHA don’t be silly, oh you colts are a riot sometimes. Stallions can’t be P.I.s monkey, that’s a mare’s job and a dirty one at that, reserved only for the most pathetic-“
>Yellow Presses turns to you as you finally circle to Anon’s side
>You wonder how long she knew you were behind her
>”Well speak of the disgusting and it shall appear. What brings you near this monkey, Legraze? Did the padded cell at Trotham get a little too stuffy for you?”
>You growl, from your belly up, and your whole body seethes with anger
>If you could, you’d knock this mare out cold
>But she’d just use it as another chance to publicly humiliate you and deem you “a menace to the city”
>That was her gig, going after people for private things or instigating them to action, then playing the victim, using her high social-status and trophy-colt to make her word more “worthy” than the average pone
>It was despicable, but you knew she was kayaking in bits

>>27876649
“Yeah. Figured if I didn’t bust out and you didn’t have somepony to circle like a vulture, you’d be crying in the streets rather than in the papers.”
>The well-dressed mare frowned
>”Good to see Trotham Asylum didn’t instill any civilization into that utterly horrific mockery you call a brain. Hm, guess you’d be a good fit with the monkey-savage who wants to play big-mare.”
“Oh, shove it up your flank, like you-“
>Anon cut you off
>”Is there any point to you talking to us Miss? Because we have work that’s actually important to do, and our train is coming up.”
>Presses lets out a nasal, uppity laugh
>”And what is it you’re investigating? Did someone in Ponyville lose a laugh, and needed you to give them two at twice the caliber?”
>She snickers at her own wordy joke
>”No, we’re investigating dark magic. Something that could actually be a threat you fuckin-“
>Ooh, the colt can swear
>You briefly wonder if he is one of those edgy tom-filly types or is legitimately annoyed at Presses’ yak-shit
>He isn’t able to finish however, as Presses lets out an even more obnoxious laugh
>”DARK MAGIC?! As IF. No one’s seen Sombra around have they? Figures that the idiot and the savage’s specialty is in something that only disgusting fat mares pursue and fail at, you utterly useless-“
>That’s it
>Renegade
>You raise your right hoof to punch-
“Anon, what the buck?!”
>He had reached down and caught your hoof, preventing you from rightfully busting the mare’s face
>She took the opportunity to laugh once more
>”Oh so now we who is more civilized. Feel bad Legraze? Having a colt hold you back from giving into your feral instincts?”
>The fire in your eyes rises
>Anon steps up to the mare however, putting himself between you two, and for the first time addresses her in a quite marely voice, clearly now aggravated

>>27876656
>”Listen. If you don’t have any business delaying us, you need to leave. I’ll have you know that as a certified P.I., male or not I don’t have to take your shit unless you have a point or evidence that is relevant. Now go find some other pony to pick on you irritating fuck.”
>She looks a bit shocked, but regains her composure
>”O-Of course Mister Monkey-“
>”It’s Anon you-“
>”Mister Chimp. I see who wears the saddles in this relationship anyway, and I’m honestly disgusted. Just wanted to see if something as EXOTIC as you wouldn’t care for something better. Clearly all the monkey wants is bananas, and lucky for you Legraze is just that.”
>She lets out an ear-splitting giggle
>”Anyway, toodles my dear losers. Just be careful not to screw up whatever ‘super important’ case you’re on, since you never know who is watching. Hehehe, OOPS!”
>CRACK
>OW FUCK WHY
>SHE MUST’VE KNOWN THAT WAS YOUR BAD LEG
>Ever since the ‘incident’ your left-front leg has been really tender, and Presses ‘’’’’’’’’’accidentally’’’’’’ hit it as she walked past you to leave
>OW FUCK SHE MIGHT’VE POPPED SOMETHING
>You look up to see Anon staring down at you, worry on his face
>Come on, just be a tough mare-
“I-I-I’m OK.”
>”Really, that bitch looked like she gave you a hell of a Charlie Horse-“
>What the buck was a Charlie Horse?!
>Must be a colt thing
“NO! I’m fine. Let’s go before I throw her under a train.”
>”If you say so. I can carry you to the train if you want. We need to go anyway, it’s about to leave-“
“I’ll be fine let’s go already, no need worry ‘bout tough mares like me.”
>Anon shrugs, and you take step forward on it-
“Ahhhhhhh…”
>You whine a little, and you begin shaking in pain
>Buck damnit, pull yourself together
>Before you know it however, Anon looks over, and seeing you in pain, scoops you into his arms all bridal-carry like
>Oh gosh this is embarrassing

>>27876663
>Your face is a tomato
>You pound your good hoof on his chest but speak lowly, trying not to raise a scene
“Put me DOWN Anon. This is so wrong. I’m not some foal-“
>”Just stop. Trains leaving and there’s no point in seeing you hurt yourself over “being a man”-“
“Mare.”
>”Whatever. You’re soft by the way.”
>You blush
>What kind of colt is he?
>Looking around, you catch a few horses staring at you
>You bury your face in Anon’s chest, rolling yourself up like a foal
>How are you EVER going to live this down?!
>You hear Anon board, and set his and your bag in the compartment, as he settled into the dingy window seat
>At least Anon’s chest is warm, and you can hear his steady heartbeat-
>You were still pretty tired…
>Y…eah…. Just a little…
……………………………………
>You are still Topaz Legraze, and you awake with a start
>Your heart is palpitating at an incredible speed, and you can feel the balm and sweat forming on your hooves
>Your stomach is a hurricane of nausea, violently churning as a demented rope-walker with vertigo
>Examining your surroundings, you find that you are in a large, dank cell with shelves of books that scrape holes in the sky above
>If you look closer into the sky, you can make out through murky clouds titanic sets of obsidian structures, carved into Cyclopean and Non- Equinopedian geometry, with designs both frightening and insidiously fascinating
>The sky itself even holds a sickening greenish hue, and puts your mind in a state of unease once you notice the color of the stars tonight is lavender, not white
>You fiddle about towards one of the massive books on the shelves, which seem to be written in some odd, eclectic script, but your body resists your movement and you feel clumsy, like you were pulling marionette strings rather than performing basic bodily movement
>You manage to stumble to the book, and wrap a decomposing tentacle-
>TENTACLE?!
>You look down to see-

>>27876671
>THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!
>YOUR BODY IS SO GROTESQUE, AN AMORPHOUS ABOMINATION OF HORSE, GOAT, FISH AND OCTOPUS, WITH RED FLUIDS FREELY SPILLING, THE SITUATION EXACERBATING OUT OF CONTROL
>YOU LOOK UP TO SEE ANOTHER BEING OF SIMILAR COMPOSITION NOW NEXT TO YOU, WRAPPING A TENTACLE AROUND-
>”GET OFF ME YOU FREAK! HELP!” You try to scream-
>But no words exit your mouth, and you are left internally reflecting your own screams
>The being begins to swallow you whole-
…………………………….
>”-you alright? Hey we’re almost there. Get up.”
>You bolt awake and jump straight up from Anon’s lap, and with a crack you hit you read on the cargo component above
>Ow
>You land on Anon’s lap and he grabs you to make sure you don’t slide to the floor
>You sigh and appreciate his hunky arms for a half-minute before again jumping out of them to the adjacent seat facing closer to the central aisle
“What do you think you’re doing colt? Trying to throw me like that?”
>”Throw you?! You’re the one who was kicking and whining in my lap for the past 20 minutes, before damn near giving me a heart-attack with that jump! What, did you run track in high school?”
“I wasn’t kicking and whining! I wasn’t even asleep dum-dum! I was just taking a rest! With closed eyes!”
>”On my lap?”
“Yes! You carried me in when I could’ve-”
>”Missed the train due to a bum knee and an asshat? Yeah, you’re welcome by the way.”
“I-It’s not like I needed your help or anything! I’m a badass mare that doesn’t take nothin’! I’ve done things that make street punks flee just by looking at me!”
>”Right, such a badass mare that fell asleep in my arms. I’m pretty sure you curled into my chest even-“
“Ugh, yeah right. I-I-I was just tired… Yeah, from doing in all the heavy-lifting in this case. You better start pulling your weight, colt.”

>>27876673
>”Uh-huh. Well, I’m going to use the restroom real quick and leave to your delusions Miss Lullaby-“
“Don’t test me colt.”
>”Hey! Maybe when I come back and you’re not in denial we can talk like normal people!”
>You scrunch your snozzle up as he walks to the restroom
“It’s ‘normal ponies’ colt, do you want to look like an idiot?”
>He turns back
>”Why? Why, do you care if I look like one?”
>Your face flushes
“I-I don’t. I said I don’t. I-Idiot.”
>You stick your tongue out at him as he walks into the restroom, and you settle onto the seat, realizing that to the surrounding patrons you just made an ass of yourself twice today
>Lovely
>You sigh
>Dumb colt
>It’s nice to have a stallion around, but…
>N-No it’s not
>Anon is a dumb colt
>Yeah
>You don’t like him one bit
>Probably had to go to the bathroom because of his little colt bladder, or-
>Psh, get real
>Colts don’t go #2
>Don’t be fuckin’ stupid
>Maybe he went to put on make-up
>Satisfied with your resolve to not be swayed by the nice c-
>Dumb colt, you look down at your body
>Beige fur, black mane, sensitive horn, RESPECTABLE chest tuft
>Whew
>Good to be you again
>What the hell was that dream?
>You pull down your saddlebag with magic and look through it for your trusty flask
>You gulp a smidge of the delicious cider stealthily, enjoying it’s sweet-savory taste burn down your throat
>There, that’ll calm your nerves
>Damn, mare, drinking at eleven in the morning, what were you doing with-
>Hey isn’t that that black book?
>You notice the Ponenomicon poking its way out of the bag, and you scoop it up
>Deciding you got nothing better to do, and since you always enjoyed studying the odd and peculiar at Miskaequinic University, from reading Sombra’s manifesto to pieces of the unbelievably ancient Ponekotic Manuscripts, you take a peek into the cursed book

>>27876663
I want her dead.

>>27876679
>You get lost in reading for a while, and become both enraptured and repulsed by the book’s contents
>Descriptions of the weirdest type, of great ‘Elder Ones’ and forces beyond the control or even comprehension of ponies, of lost cities and great summons beckoned by daemonic cults
>Seems like a load of crap, but one word keeps popping up and the fact that there is no explanation or definition for this word that is so carelessly thrown around by Ahoof Alhazred that it angers you
>R’lyeh
>You keep reading for another minute or two before being interrupted by Anon, who comes back and plops down next to you
>You give him only a little attention
>Woah, does he have muscle on-
>”What’cha reading?”
“The book we have to return to Twilight, and the one that’ll hopefully give us a lead.”
>”Yeah, thankfully Q filled me in.”
“She’s good about that.”
>”Yeah.”
>Silence
>”Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot-“
“Hoof.”
>”Hoof, ok. But why don’t we at least try and get to know each other a bit? If this case lasts a while, it’ll be better if we broke the ice.”
“Y-Yeah. I guess so. Topaz.”
>”Anon.”
>You both talk for a bit, and you learn he’s from a distant place called Earth, and that he’s the only hoo-man in Equestria, and other basic stuff
>It’s a nice chat though, and you can feel some of the earlier simmering tension ease up a bit
>As you enter the station, you show him the book and turn to him
“Hey Anon, do you know what this means?”
>You point to R’lyeh as it is spelled out on the page in Poneglish
> ρ’λψεη
>”Sorry, I can’t read Pony language. Why, what does it say?”
>You face-hoof
>The colt can’t even read
>Oh filly
“Never mind. It’s probably not important anyway.”
…………………………..
>Twilight was scrunching up her face like a mare desperately trying not to fart in front of a stallion
“And there’s nothing else you can tell us?”

>>27876689
>You jot down a few notes on your notepad while Anon studies her inquisitively
>”No, not really, the pony who came in to get it definitely wasn’t from here, but they came at the perfect time to not attract attention. I mean, Spike didn’t even see them at all, and I simply checked them out as quick as I could to keep up with the mid-week book rush. I didn’t think Mayor Mare’s book club meeting was going to be so huge.”
>”And they didn’t have a card?”
>”No, sometimes I let people sign a certificate of merit, complete with their contact info. instead. Somehow, I didn’t grab this particular pony’s signature, which is definitely surprising. Plus, I don’t know how I didn’t notice it was the Ponenomicon of all things, I really ought to lock that thing up…”
>You get up, realizing you aren’t making much progress
“Just one sec, I’m going to take a leak.”
>Anon keeps probing questions as you excuse yourself
>You make your way through the shaded castle, it’s cold crystal walls projecting both power and opulence
>You shiver as you enter the bathroom down the hall, closing the door behind you
>You turn back around toward the bathroom’s interior to see-
>WHAT THE ACTUAL BUCK?!
>You see a long, Gothic hallway, with claustrophobic black walls replacing the normal beautiful crystalline enclosures
>The hallway has a narrow bridge down the center of it, on which you were standing, that lead to a central platform at the end
>Along the way down the bridge are statues, sculpted with impressive detail
>Some of them are hoo-man, some are Equestrian, some are other, indescribable beings, there was even one that is broken
>Weird
>You trot to the platform to see-
>EUGH
>A decomposing, greyed yet gigantic hoo-man hand holding a strange book, which was thick and brown-leathery on the outside, with a spine like a bunch of bones strung together

>>27876697
>As you cautiously approach it, drawn by both sheer terror and a terrible curiosity, the monstrous hand opens, allowing you to claim the book if you so choose, but you hear screaming as you get close
>You look down to see-
>NO YOU WEREN’T READY FOR THIS!
>THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!
>Faces of all species were becoming the floor, screaming in agony in all tongues and dialects, as their faces stretched and split to pieces
>BUCK MARE WAKE UP!!!
……………
>You inhale sharply, and you’re back in the hallway like nothing happened
>You look around in fear, and find that the castle seems perfectly normal
>With much trepidation, you peek the bathroom door open to find-
>It’s perfectly normal
>Confused and scared, you quickly do your business and scramble to Anon and the Princess, taking a few more swigs of cider and popping a candy cigarette to try and relax…
>But you were still white-faced as a specter
…………………..
>”I’m sorry I couldn’t give you any leads.”
>”It’s ok Twilight, I know you tried. Whoever did this is one slippery equine. I’ll try and stop by once we’re done here and take you up on that tea.”
>You, Investigator Legraze, were currently with Anon outside of the Princess’ front door saying farewells after getting no leads
>You’d be frustrated if you weren’t still shaken
>”It was nice to meet you Miss Legraze. You seem like a nice young mare.”
>oh shit she talkin’ to you
“Y-Yeah y-you too, your Excellency.”
>”You don’t have to call me that, come on. Any friend of Anon’s is a friend of mine!”
>She shakes your good hoof and goes to hug Anon-
>WHAT
>They’re hugging!
>And Anon is holding her hoof and shaking it!
>Outdoors no less
>L-lewd…
>Anon begins to pet Twilight as he says his good-byes
>You scrunch up really hard and puff out your tuft
>”Something wrong Topaz? Do you want a little pet too?”
>His face was so smug
“Ugh, no gross. I don’t care or anything. Pft.”

>>27876704
>He begins to pet you anyway and you moan a little in-
>You suddenly back away, knowing your maresculinity is at stake
“N-no I’m fine. Don’t do that again or I’ll buck you up.”
>”If you say so.”
>You both say good-bye to the Princess of hoof-holding and as you are walking away, Twilight suddenly teleports in front of you
>”Wait!”
“What?”
>”Actually, I might have a lead, but it’s not a great one.”
“Go on.”
>”Well, I remember Screwloose-“
>”You mean the mare who barks like a dog?”
>”Er, yeah, her… She was recently moved to better accommodate a long term mental recovery, but before she left she went on about the Ponenomicon and how no one believed her. Maybe she’d know something? It’d be a bit of a stretch though…”
“Where was she moved to?”
>”Trotham Asylum, up in Baltimare.”
>Your stomach drops like an icicle
>”We’ll look into it, thanks Twi.”
>”No problem, Anon. It’s not really much of a lead anyway, but who knows, maybe you’ll get something out of it.”
>You feel faint
>No nonono nono no
>Not Trotham
>Anything but Trotham
>Your eye twitches spastically as you recall it all-
>The complete lack of sanitation, the scarce food and “rightfully restricted” water, the guards bullying the patients, mountains of pills and drugs, not to mention the ‘magic-shock therapy’ you’ve been through, and the complete lack of air circulation, so that every room smells fetid and sick, and of course the isolation of solitary confinement in a tiny padded cell…
>”Topaz, you alright?”
>You feel yourself start to faint but steady yourself, and in a minute you feel marginally better
“Y-Yeah. Just…”
>”Trotham. I know. I’ve heard a little about what happened. The ‘incident.’ Not everything, but Q told me some of it. Come on, we’ll go together, I’ll be there every step of the way.”
“N-Not like I need a colt to escort me around…”

>>27876718
>Anon smiles a little, and sees Twi off once more
>You walk for a bit before he turns to you
>”So, you were looking shaky even before we brought up Trotham. Why?”
“It’s nothing, colt. Don’t worry your head about it.”
>”Keeping secrets eh? That’s kinda attractive…”
“REALLY? Ahem, erm, I-I guess.”
>”You haven’t been having any weird dreams or… hallucinations recently have you?”
“You think I’m crazy?”
>”Not quite. Sometimes the ones we call crazy are the ones who have the most clarity. Now, are you sure nothing weird has been happening to you?”
“Well…”
>”Well, what?”
“When I went to the bathroom, I kind of saw some stuff…”
>Anon appeared interested
>”Playfilly mags?”
“Very funny.”
>”No, but go on.”
“I just sort of had a… weird trippy dream type of thing… with this giant, gross hoo-man hand, a bunch of statues, these freaky faces, and a big book made of leather and-“
>”Bone?”
“Yeah how’d you know?”
>Anon’s friendly face suddenly adopted an extremely serious expression
>”Did you see anyone there… Any humans, ponies, or anyone in armor…”
“N-no what the buck are you talking about?”
>”Did you take the book?”
“Look, you better start explaining-“
>”DID YOU TAKE THE BOOK?”
“Sheesh, no I didn’t take the book. Should I have? And what are you not telling me?”
>Anon looks at you with grave concern in his eyes
>”No…”
“What? Spit it out colt.”
>”I can tell you later.”
“Later?!”
>”Yes, later. In private. Either way you’re going to back home, and I’m gonna see if I can get a ponice detail to look after you.”
“W-What?! This is my case colt! Don’t kick me out of it because you think I’m losing it-“
>”You’re not though.”
“Then what’s the problem.”
>”Ugh. Look, when this stuff happens, you need to tell me immediately.”
“Why?”

>>27876726
>”Because I’ve dealt with this stuff before, I just didn’t know how much of a possibility of going down the rabbit hole this case has.”
“What do you mean you’ve dealt with it before?”
>”Just… I promise I’ll explain later. Until then, it’s actually not a bad idea that you don’t leave my side.”
“Why did you change your mind? And BUCKING WHY?”
>”You’ll be safer that way-“
“Oh buck off you’re not my dad.”
>”No I’m not, but this is serious. Just… think of it as sticking with me a little longer.”
“Oh joy, I get to stay with a colt that keeps secrets.”
>”Don’t all colts?”
>That breaks some of the tension and you grin a little
“Got that right.”
>”Come on, let’s go to Trotham. We’ll see if we can’t find anything there. And you can ride in my lap…”
>He smiles at you, and you can’t help but smile back at the goofy alien colt
“Buck you.”
…………………………..
>Well, here you are
>Trotham Asylum
>The place of nightmares
>”You scared?”
“N-no of course not.”
>Your voice loses its mareliness and trembles
>”I’ll be right next to you the whole time. Want me to hold your hoof?”
>Woah colt, why were you thinking of lewd things at a time like this
>This colt must be a maniac in bed
>Speaking of maniacs-
“I-I’ll be ok. Let’s make this quick.”
>”Ok. Just remember I’m right here ok? If you need me to carry you, or-“
“I’m not a foal.”
>”Just saying. Let’s get in and out.”
>You head past the shrieking gates, through the front courtyard, filled with dead roses and dried grass, and entered the crumbling, foul building
>It didn’t help that the sun was now setting, putting a malevolent dusk through all the windows as the sky burned a searing orange, the last rays of the sun clawing to remain existent

>>27876110
>Anyways, getting close to being done Single Dadnon, the last update.
Am hype and sad at the same time.

Make it hurt beautifully, sempai.

>>27876201
>do not update, i want to keep talking to someone. pls.
no u

>>27876737
>The reception room may as well be symbolic for the rest of the building, with aged, damaged and stained walls, outdated equipment, and an atmosphere of evil just hiding somewhere, content that only it’s mere presence was enough to evoke sweats and fits
>You stayed really close to Anon as you approached the front desk, run by a mare who looked to be dying of boredom
>”What the buck do you want, chimp? Here to commit someone? Yourself? Not that I wouldn’t mind smacking the silly out of you…”
>Anon looks completely disgusted at the pegasus’ callous and stand-offish tone, but you knew this was pretty par for the course for Trotham
>You let him do the talking, for fear she may recognize your voice and give you shit for being a previous patient
>”Uh, no. I’m Anonymous Incognito, P.I. certified under Celestia’s jurisdiction, Class quadruple U. I’m here to speak with one Miss Screwloose.”
>The receptionist mare at first looked unamused, then threw back her head in annoying laughter
>”You want to see Screwloose? Go ahead, I don’t care. I thought this was something important. Feel free to smack her around if you want.”
>”I won’t.”
>”Your loss then, have a nice one sweetcheeks.”
>”Go fuck yourself.”
>Well that was blunt
>You and Anon move past the stunned mare, and follow a nearby guard down the twisting, cramped, maze-like halls of Trotham to Screwloose’s room
>Along the way, you pass-
>301,302-
>You stop briefly at 303 and shiver
>Never again
>You make it to Screwloose’s room a minute later, and the hulky mare-guard knocks on the door as she fishes out the key from her bag
>”Get ready, freak, some people are here to see you. Wouldn’t want to have to cut your food off AGAIN do we?”
>She unlocks the heavy steel door
>”All yours.”
>Neither you nor Anon say ‘thank you’ to the prick as you enter the cell
>It was a typical Trotham cell, and by that you mean the conditions were terrible

>>27876748
>It was confining as Tartarus, being roughly 9X9 feet with a ceiling that forced Anon to duck down
>The walls, floor, and ceiling were covered in soiled and dirty padding, and there was no bed or chair
>No sink either, and no window besides a tiny air vent that prevented the room from being literally suffocating
>Speaking of the mare, she curled up in the back corner, hair messy, dressed in a straightjacket
>Her eyes had dark rings under them like she hadn’t slept in days
>She might not have
>You and Anon cautiously approach her, and-
>”BARK BARK!”
“Buck!”
>”Yeah, that was to be expected. Now…”
>Anon leans closer to the mare, whom is now rocking back and forth
>”Hi there.”
>She turns to him, taking almost a full minute to register both you and Anon’s presence
>Suddenly, she smiles a devious grin
>”I-I’m a good doggy.”
>Oh filly
>Anon seems to take it in stride however, and ignores her comment, petting the poor mare
>She leans into his hand, happy to be the center of some positive attention
>”Right. Do you want to talk to me about that, maybe?”
>Her manic eyes search his for answers
>”Talk to you about what? Who are you, colt, that your marefriend?”
>She points to you
>You don’t shake your head, but then do, because he was a colt, and you totally didn’t like him or anything
“No, we’re P.I.s, looking for some answers.”
>”Huh. Looked more like rattle-snake wrestlers, but ok, I’ll answer nice mare and colt questions.”
>She looked at you like she suddenly realized something, but turns back to Anon once he starts speaking
>”We’re here investigating for a case. Do you know anything about the Ponenomicon?”
>All of a sudden Screwloose’s eyes go wide, and the mare starts throwing a fit
>”GUARDS! GUARDS! THEY’VE COME FOR ME! IT KNOWS! I CAN’T HIDE FROM THE DARKNESS! I TRIED TO WARN YOU ALL! MAY THE RATS EAT YOUR EYES!”

>>27876762
>This is the one time you were thankful for Trotham’s awfulness, as you knew the guards wouldn’t come to step in the patient, thus you could continue
>You were thinking of playing hard-ball and-
>Apparently Anon has other ideas
>Big softie
>He had scooped up Screwloose in his arms and was trying to shush the terrified mare
>After a few minutes, he amazingly succeeded in at least making her not scream, but she was still looking around manically
>A lot like the colt at Cranee’s apartment
>Hm
>You investigate the room a bit, putting your tracker skills to use as Anon tries to converse with the unfortunate mare
>”So, who’s coming after you?”
>”THE ONE THAT HIDES IN THE DARK, festers in it, feeds on others…”
>”Who though?”
>”I-I’ll defend myself! I can bite! I wanted to be a good pony!”
>”You are a good pony.”
>”No Screwloose is very bad!”
>”No, come on now, don’t say that. Tell me some names, somethin’. I’ll take care of it.”
>The conversation draws on as you put some puzzle pieces together in your head
>She’s acting like the colt did…
>Why?
>You know that before Screwloose was committed to the (much happier and nicer) Ponyville hospital that she liked to roam around a lot…
>It was in the papers when they first committed her for insanity…
>It was Yellow Presses’ paper, but it was info. nonetheless…
>To confirm your suspicions, you use your magic to illuminate spaces that have been touched recently
>It was as you thought
>The floor was covered in hoof-marks, which meant that even when her mobility was restricted by the jacket she like to move around
>Maybe she stumbled across something she shouldn’t have?
>It helped to note to how she wasn’t treated for a dark magic infection when she was admitted, as Presses would’ve used that for libel…
>So whoever did it might be the same pony, as they would be the only skilled enough to pull that off
>Time to try something
“Anon.”
>”Yeah?”

>>27876517
Which is why you should give them a super tight hug, whisper to them that as their friend you'll do anything to help them, anything, then set them down and walk away.

When they ask what's up, just tell them you meant you would talk to them and stuff. Your friendship should be enough for them and hormones are just a stupid excuse.

Then go bang their best friend until she can't walk straight. Bonus points if her house is close enough to heat!pone's for heat!pone to hear.

>>27876768
“We might be asking the wrong questions.”
>You look up Screwloose, who manically scrambles in Anon’s arms to look down and meet your eyes
“Where is the scariest place you’ve been to?”
>”Huh?”
>”What?”
“Screwloose, I know you used to like to roam around. Where was the spookiest place you’ve been? Where is this ‘darkness’?”
>Screwloose thought for a moment before averting her eyes and sputtering out
>”Innsmuzzle. Small fishing village. Right down the way from Baltimare. Could probably go tomorrow evening if you move. Can’t do it. Ponies are weird. Feels wrong. Don’t like ocean no more.”
“Innsmuzzle? Isn’t that the last stop on the oldest tram?”
>Anon speaks
>”Yeah, I think so. It may be something. What do you think?”
“She looks a lot like the colt in Cranee’s apartment. And since whatever she stumbled upon made her like this-“
>”Innsmuzzle might be the residency or at least hot-spot of our culprit.”
“That’s what I was thinking. It’s a stretch, but what hasn’t been thus far?”
>”Good point.”
>Anon gently sets Screwloose down, who moans in disappointment
>He comforts her with a few head pats
>”Don’t worry Screwy, you’ll be going to a nicer place very soon.”
>”Wherehow?”
>”I’ll write to Celestia. I help her with weeding out corruption for some extra dough. Once this case is over, she herself’ll be paying this place a visit. See how tough the faculty feel then.”
>”Does that mean I did the good?”
>Anon smiles
>”All the good Screwy. Now just sit tight a little longer.”
>Screwloose let out a bark, and for what looked like the first time in ages, had a genuine smile on her face
>”We should go, Topaz.”
“Yeah. Thanks Screwloose.”
>WOOF!
………………………..
>”That went better than expected.”
“Yeah.”
>”Can’t believe they treat you tiny horses like that. How the hell do they get away with that?”

>>27876785
“Most of the ponies here are either not famous, and thus not thought about, or get defamed by Presses so that the masses think sending them here is a good thing. And since they get so much funding from Presses and taxes, they just pay off inspectors. I saw them do that when I was there. Plus they don’t allow many visits so they don’t have to show anything to anyone.”
>”That’s really fucked up actually. I’ll to get Celestia on that. I’ll be surprised if these pricks aren’t sent to the sun or something.”
>You were both outside the asylum, and you were munching on a candy cigarette like a real mare while Anon sipping a bottle of Poke
>”You did good in there.”
“Y-you too.”
>Guess you may have underestimated this colt a little bit
>He’s still a colt, but…
>”Want a hug?”
“Pft. No. I’m a real mare.”
>”Just saying. I know it’s been a rough day.”
>It was kinda chilly tonight…
“I-I mean I wouldn’t mind one, but I don’t want one…”
>He gives you big hug
>Ah, that feels nice
>He’s a big colt
>This is nice; it’ll help your stress when tomorrow you have to deal with…
>The Shadow Over Innsmuzzle
.....................
Hope it wasn't too long and was enjoyable; updated pastebin for this green:
http://pastebin.com/UGixneWK

>>27876803
My only issue is the inconsistencies between ponies using buck/fuck. Pick one and stick with it.

>>27876803
Oooo, whats this?
A Detective stroy about Anon in RGRE equestira with lovecraft stuff?

Its delichous, anon. Please dont abandon us like must writefags with good storys do!

>>27876803
This is some good green, M8. Please continue.

>>27876671
>>”Whatever. You’re soft by the way.”
kek
>you will never cradle a soft fluffy mare

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>>27875871
Probably not. It was just a one-shot.

>>27876517
I like the idea of Twilight leaving a helpful guide on Anon's doorstep a few days before estrus hits. Her own estrus is starting up, and it's influencing her writing.

>If a mare knocks on your door and asks you to come outside, DO NOT DO IT! She is trying to trick you! No matter how much she begs or pleads for your dick. Even if she tells you that her pussy burns so badly and that your semen is the only thing that can put out the fire.
>Note: Even if the mare knocking at your door is a friend, do NOT let her in. Not even if she tells you that she loves you; that she's always loved you, and that estrus has given her the courage to work up the nerve to tell you how she's felt for so long.
>Avoid being near windows for extended periods of time. A mare walking by your house will find it much harder to resist her urges when a potential mate is in view. Most mares fantasize about being given oral by their stallion (however rare this may happen in real life), and it will do you no good to just stand there and tease the poor mare with those plump lips of yours. Consider buying curtains or perhaps blinds.
>If you absolutely have to go out, wear clean clothes (clothes you HAVE NOT worn since you last washed them) and take a shower. A mare in heat can smell a hot, sweaty colt's musky genitals from a quarter of a mile away.
>Beware mares at work! These mares (typically earth ponies) have a stronger constitution than most, which allows them to temporarily ignore their estrus and continue with their jobs. However, this constitution means that their drive to be bred will be even stronger if they cannot resist the sight and smell of an innocent colt walking by, sheath and testicles out there for everypony to see. These mares typically attack in groups, using their superior numbers to pin the colt to the ground. He'll be afraid at first, but after a while he'll start to enjoy it.

File: So many foals.png (494KB, 1366x768px) Image search: [Google]

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>>27876993
I'd breed that pony.

>>27876737
suddenly OUTLAST