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ITT: World's Worst Storytime

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Thread replies: 44
Thread images: 31

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A friend got me these at a motorway service station for ten pounds, as a "Joke" gift. I would personally never that much on this crap, but I guess we can at least get a few laughs out of... This, right? I have a whole pack.
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>>27822903
They never do seem to get very accurate stats on Top Trumps.
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>>27822915
Something seems a little off about every one of these.
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>>27822933
I've put these two side by side for a very good reason. Look at their stats. Were these assigned randomly or something?
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>>27822952
You aren't fooling anyone, Mr. Cake. We know genetics don't work like that.
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>>27822964
One really must wonder who the idiot was that gave the fucking dog a higher friendship score than the PRINCESS OF FRIENDSHIP. That would be like giving Applebloom a higher "Sun" score than Celestia.
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>>27822982
I really wish these were canon. I'd love to see an episode where Twilight gets evenly matched by fucking Silver Spoon in a magic duel.
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>>27822982
This one is alright.
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>>27823004
Shit, forgot the picture. I'm new to this whole thread thing, you see.
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>>27823013
What does "Friendship" even represent?
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>>27823020
All the pets make an appearance.
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>>27823044
> "We're owl exterminators"
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>>27823056
Something seems wrong, aside from the fact that fucking Scootaloo has more magic than an Alicorn princess.
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>>27823075
Fluttershy never was quite the same after that unfortunate scheduling mishap in the Ponyville General lobotomy department.
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>>27823107
Is Twilight, like, a magical runt or something? Because that's the impression I'm getting.
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>>27823123
Who the fuck even is this guy? He was in one episode for less than 30 seconds, and isn't even that remarkable. Fourth best? Pah.
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>>27822903
>couldn't even be bothered to tilt the images right-side up

A thread died for this
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>>27823140
Finally, someone who actually matters. Still seems a bit off-model.

>>27823145
Tilt yer head.
>>
STOP PUTTING THEM SIDEWAYS, GOD DAMN!
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>>27823150
Trixie is huge, and has the magical potential of a twig. That really doesn't seem right.

>>27823152
This is all being done on mobile. Like I said, motorway service station. They sure aren't stingy with the cards, there's a lot to get through.
>>
>>27823150
Tilt yer phone.
>>
>>27823168
Trixie's magic level just can't surprise me at this point when the same cards are claiming that filly earth ponies, filly pegasi, and a fuckin' turtle are all equal to if not stronger in magic than Twilight.
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>>27823168
Hey, at least Shiny has a decent amount of magic. And is also huge.
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>>27823224
Hey, looks like that worked! Cool.

Not much wrong with this one.
>>
>>27823236
A true hero, a true friend, and about twice as powerful a mage as Twilight. Man, she must be feeling really sore that fucking Applebloom can beat her.

Oh wait, that one's next.
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>>27823245
Ah fuck, forgot the image again. Like I said, this is my first time dumping low quality photos of trading cards onto /mlp/.
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>>27823255
Applebloom, like I promised. Note the saintly Mischief level.
>>
>>27823255
RD. The pegasus with the ability to take... maybe 5 seconds in the magic ring with Cadence.
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>>27823264
Once again, something seems distinctly off with these stats.
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>these cards
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>>27823273
Someone somewhere at Hasbro greenlit this.
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>>27823283
>Hasbro greenlit this.

don't let these words sit together in this thread because I really... just don't want to believe these even exist, let alone someone greenlit it.
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>>27823283
Maybe these are from their own perspective.
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>>27823298
Ladies and Gentlemen, Soarin, the colt who eats pie from the floor. And can best Princess Twilight in a magic duel.

God, I hope these cards are canon.
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>>27823312
I'm fuckin' done. Second highest magic out of all of them.

Only one more to go. Can you guess who?
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>>27823283
>spike
>beauty = 9
>9
>mfw
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>>27823312
If these cards were canon I'd wanna see the episode where Tank is wreaking havoc over Ponyville with his magic power, with RD leading him along, and Scootaloo as her henchman.
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>>27823318
Princess Celestia, the only pony in all Equestria who even stands a chance st beating Zecora, the great and hulking.

That's all folks. Hope you enjoyed... this.
>>
>>27823318
Zecora's sleight-of-hand. The power to befuddle Trixie of all people, and the power to rule over Equestria.
>>
>>27823318
> Used to
With magic power like that, she still fucking scares me.
>>
I bought one of these in a motorway service station too and no fucking way was it ten quid. It was about 4. You've been lied to, OP!
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>>27823334
Top Trump, my good sir
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>>27823283
>beauty 9
Oh it's Hasbro alright.
>>
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>>27823283
>beauty = 9
haha get fucking rekt
however I feel like they just went with a random number generator for these stats
Thread posts: 44
Thread images: 31


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