[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Free Show | Home]

Princess Applejack

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 506
Thread images: 15

Howdy, partner!

What you see here began as a series of comedy-centric stories with the concept of an alicorn-ascended Princess Applejack trying to change a mismanaged Equestria for the better by humorously interacting with the other, quite lazy, princesses.

Not to mention a whole bunch of Changelings with nothing better to do but cause mischief.


The whole thing was set in motion by this gem:

~~~~~

>So, wait, why am Ah' a princess again?

>Because you seem to be the only goddamn one of those ponies who gets that a Princess need to do actual work regarding maintenance of the kingdom. You know how much city planning or trade negotiations Twilight or Luna have done? Fucking nothing. Everyone is obsessed with the world ending threats they think I should fight, but the minute I point out the free health care I have to work to maintain everyone goes quiet. And don't even get me started on Cadence, who can't even manage a basic meeting with the Equestrian Games representative. Fucking annoying. Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."

~~~~~

Are you feeling creative? Try your hand at writing a story! No contribution is too small and we love having new folks around.

If you're more artistically inclined give a drawing or sketch a shot. Don't fret too much; it doesn't have to be fancy and we appreciate artwork a lot.

If that isn't your style either, writers always need feedback. So tell us what you liked - and what you didn't - to help us improve.

If you are unsure about anything, do not be afraid to ask. We will gladly bring you up-to-date or explain anything you feel is unclear.

Thread 143! A little apple for you, and a lot for me!
>>
>>27582821
1 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15714689/
2 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15809561/
3 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15905493/
4 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15993073/
5 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16130720/
6 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16246841/
7 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16379525/
8 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16501328/
9 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16610392/
10 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16662074/
11 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16772586/
12 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16868468/
13 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16979374/
14 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17077404/
15 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17165620/
16 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17236861/
17 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17353012/
18 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17432909/
19 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17542878/
20 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17622856/
21 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17721007/
22 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17846420/
23 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17939772/
24 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18016936/
25 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18110396/
26 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18243130/
27 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18317690/
28 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18413021
29 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18481892
30 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18584132
30.5 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18593663/
31 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18666146/
32 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18726218/
33 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18808995/
34 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18917077/
35 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19037167/
36 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19139609/
37 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19224385/
38 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19310984/
39 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19418937/
40 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19541053/
41 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19662234/
42 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19775771/
43 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19893243/
44 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20044646/
45 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20179745/
46 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20296634/
47 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20365095/
48 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20453513/
49 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20580492/
>>
50 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20667911/
51 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20740272/
52 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20855918/
53 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20948915/
54 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21045744/
55 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21159397/
56 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21278151/
57 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21405993/
58 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21510114/
59 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21619890/
60 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21715642/
61 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21858107/
62 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21945390/
63 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22007346/
64 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22086019/
65 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22152409/
66 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22223659/
67 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22274618/
68 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22337892/
69 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22395817/
70 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22458614/
71 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22571091/
72 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22651546/
73 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22736626/
74 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22828938/
75 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22908818/
76 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22963669/
77 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23030892/
78 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23102420/
79 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23200765/
80 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23282365/
81 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23369224/
82 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23443675/
83 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23520799/
84 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23581564/
85 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23656624/
86 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23764354/
87 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23878745/
88 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23973977/
89 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24059974/
90 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24160401/
91 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24245691/
92 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24333335/
93 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24423649/
94 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24476469/
95 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24523227/
96 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24574722/
97 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24626415/
98 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24690967/
99 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24759374/
>>
100 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24814923/
101 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24894930/
102 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24958159/
103 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25046878/
104 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25132701/
105 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25222467/
106 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25301100/
107 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25385359/
108 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25460161/
109 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25529408/
110 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25616096/
111 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25673487/
112 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25717170/
113 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25779356/
114 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25832901/
115 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25893943/
116 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25941085/
117 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26008453/
118 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26066966/
119 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26124883/
120 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26194825/
121 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26278593/
122 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26346142/
123 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26411050/
124 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26477997/
125 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26540512/
126 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26606754/
127 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26679572/
128 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26739492/
129 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26795242/
130 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26851945/
130.5 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26904000/
131 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26966812
132 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27045491
133 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27091818
134 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27136045
135 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27192560
136 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27243315
137 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27268873
138: desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27308674/
139: desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27347570/
140 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27404496
141 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27463354
142 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27517724
>>
Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack

Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here:https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27517724
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki

Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started?
Check out character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650

Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing
And finally, while most of the thread is very much clop free, we have a pastebin in case you're feeling a little more naughty with your writing, find it here. http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessAJAfterDark please upload any like it to a pastebin so they can be added out of thread.
And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!
>>
First for Mane six
>>
FIRST FOR TRIXIE SHE EARNED IT
>>
>>27582887
That's uncomfortable.

>>27582896
So close, but no cigar.
>>
>>27582887
Not lewd enough!
>>
>>27582887
Wow, punishments in Eqeuestria are weird.
>>
OOCO
>AJ
"Celestia"
~~~

>Tia? Gotta question.

"And I have all of the bombs. All of them. All of the bombs and they are pointed right at you and I will make you buuurrrrnnn."

>Iffin' ya' strike me down, Ah'll just come back angry ya' spent all that fundin' on bombs instead'a roads.

"Worth it!"

>But to mah' question, what do griffons have ta' trade with us?

"...uhhhh-"

>Cause we got unique crops, we got weather stuff like the dang stormclouds, we got us some gold veins, we can literally dig randomly in our mountains and come back with buckets of friggen gems, we got abundant water, we even got us plenty of farmland. So much, we don't even use the stuff in Everfree! What've they got for us?

"...Feathers?"

>...

"They make nice pillows."

>...

"Really nice, you ever had a griffon-down pillow? It's amazing."

>...

"...Their scones are pretty good."

>We got, like, nineteen different expert sweet chefs.

"Ah, yes, that we do, but they're not scony?"

>One of 'em is a dang griffon.

"Uh huh, so he is, so he is."

>...

"..."

>...

"I've got nothing."
>>
>>27583035
Fuck Griffons!
>>
>>27582896
Secret bro-tier horse was surprisingly good, I'll give you that. I also liked how she and Sunset didn't end on bitter terms, so they could be friends later if they want to
>>
>>27583145
Yeah, but poor Trixie just can't catch a break.

Universe has to get her somehow.
>>
Pinkie Preview Prophecy

>Does Applejack prefer organically grown apples?
>Can't read Pinkie's pokerface!
>Celestia can be so smug towards Luna sometimes.
>Tree Hugger was like...whoa.
>Octavia makes and drinks tea in the shower like normal ponies.
>The CMC will take any reason to do a booty shake.
>We have a special guest star, Britneigh Spears!
>grape fanservice!
>>
>>27583216
>Britniegh spears

Nice.
>>
>>27583106
I did find it funny that in the show the answer was scones.

Fucking scones.

Thatll fix the economy.
>>
>>27583216
>>We have a special guest star, Britneigh Spears!
Holy shit my sides...
>>
>>27583194
I liked that, it was a nice way to end on a comedy note instead of a 'DETERMINATION!' ending.
>>
>Tree Hugger
"Cantie
~~~

>....

"You've, uh, you've been staring at that hospital window for a while now, you okay?"

>...You ever see something so shiny, so pretty, you can't help but think... wow, life's like, really big.

"Uh..."

>Cause life is like... it's like, wow, it's a whole bunch of things, you know? It's a thing, but then it's a THING, and you just don't know what to do anymore.

"I don't... what?"

>So then you sit back and you think... wowwww... there's like, so much going on, all the time? A billion little things all doing a thing and it just makes... a thing.

"A... thing."

>A thing, my pony, a thing. There's so much doing, then there's just.. a thing.

"..."

>Wow.

"Wow?"

>No... no, not wow. You know what this gets?

"What's that?"

Out of her hat, she pulled out a pair of sunglasses, and slipped them on.

>...whoa.
>>
File: 1465258336782.png (849KB, 1177x1262px) Image search: [Google]
1465258336782.png
849KB, 1177x1262px
Gonna post this so breakfast /pa/ls have something nice to look at tomorrow morning!
>>
>>27583532
You know I just noticed, but shes only pushing down on one key, just the one. How does she have that level of finesse with hooves!?
>>
>>27583563
Nah, what would be impressive is if she was pressing on two or three with spaces in between, now that would be freaky.
>>
>>27583532
Still a great pic.

>>27583563
She literally trained for months on months on months to be able to precision control her muscles so that she could hug her babies, because while every other Queen saw one worthwhile ling and a whole lot of disposable drones, Chitty legit wanted a whole big hive to think they were her kids and she was gonna love the fuck out of all of them.

That's how.
>>
>>27583563
Training. Lots and lots of training. With hoovsies getting smacked with a pipe for messing up, cause momma titan is a bitch.
>>
>>27583646
>With hoovsies getting smacked with a pipe for messing up, cause momma titan is a bitch.

Chitty's mom didn't teach her control, just the opposite. She turned to music and precision instruments because her mother's teaching left her with a fuckload of power, but no finesse. She could lift a mountain with ease but when it came to just holding things, she would break them. Her mother taught her to always be at 200 percent and breaking skulls, she had to learn herself how to pick up a bow and slide it across string without sawing through it. She literally caused a shortage in cellos for the entire nation before she got the hang of it.
>>
>>27583699
That was actually me projecting my mom on Chitty's mom. My mom was a bitch about me being good a piano, haven't touched one ever since I moved out.
>>
>>27583747
Did...did she use a pipe?

Holy shit.
>>
>>27583759
PVC Pipe, it doesn't leave a noticeable mark but it hurts like a bitch. It would also shatter sometimes and cut my knuckles, it was messed up man.
>>
>>27583640
>Chitty legit wanted a whole big hive to think they were her kids and she was gonna love the fuck out of all of them.

Goddamn, that's adorable.
>>
>>27583875
And very sad considering what happened next.
>>
>Actarius
"JJ"
~~~

>Alright, I think I'm starting to work out a map to this.

"How?"

>I've started marking certain rooms, and little by little I'm figuring out which doors go to them. At the very least, I know two doors end up in the kitchen, one door ends up in the lavatory, one door ends up in that weird exercise room, and five doors end up in that bedroom.

"...But... but the bedroom only has one door."

>I'm trying not to question it, because I'm actually finding some consistency here.

"But there's one door. It's... how does it work if there's five doors that all connect to one door!?"

>I'm trying not to question it I said!

"This seems like something you would question though!"

>JJ, just trust me, you don't want to-... dang.

"Dang?"

>It changed.

"What changed?"

>The doors, they go somewhere different now.

"...Did... did I do that?"

>...

"Sorry."

>Don't question it, JJ, just don't question it.
>>
>>27584064
So if you think you can figure it out, but if you question HOW it works, it changes so it doesn't work?

So... Lavan uses Chaos Magic?
>>
>>27583532
>Godzilla Tune intensifies

You know she's playing it.
>>
File: PA_0003.png (35KB, 540x1050px) Image search: [Google]
PA_0003.png
35KB, 540x1050px
Don't know why, but I randomly felt like making one of these.
>>
>>27584356
Ahhhh, classic.
>>
>>27584383
Literally classic, that was one of the original greats.
>>
>>27584280
For some reason I actually hear her playing Ode to Joy.
>>
>>27584483
She's not that good. She can play a whole lot of instruments but she is a master of none.
>>
>>27584356
Oh, the memories....
>>
>>27584356
Smiling like a bitch over here.
>>
>>27584203
I was trying to avoid that. Guess I'll just have to make this even weirder to pull it out of that label.
>>
>Luna
"Assassin"
'???'
-???-
~Pommel~

>Aha, you there, Day Guard.

~Yes, your majesty?~

>Bring news to your captain, the Royal Sisters require a coterie to block this knave's escape whilst he quivers in fear of their judgement!

~Uh, I AM the Captain, your majesty. Captain Pommel.~

>...we knew that! Gather six of your guards and tell them to assemble within our throne room!

"S-s-six? Is that really necessary?"

~Well yeah, I mean aren't you a cold blooded killer? Throwing out all those taunts? Where'd they go because it looks like they got replaced by stuttering and shivering.~

"I m-mean I'm a-"

>Assassin! Vile assailant of foreign dignitaries, spewing forth bile and rhetoric as you plunged your weapon into the chest of the changeling ambassador! We know who you are and what you-

'WHOA!'

>...

"..."

~...aw fuck.~

'This fuckhead did WHAT to my brother!?'

~...hiiiiii 88...~

-Hi, I'm Lavan.-

~...hi Lavan.~

>Greetings changeling...fire beast.

"Uhm...hi?"

'Nah nah nah, no more hellos, what did this fat bastard do to 32!?'

~You seriously don't know?~

-88 and I were helping the rebuilding, we were unaware of...ohhhh that's where all the blood came from.-

~Well that explains th-~

'He still alive?'

>Yes, thine kin yet lives.

'Cool, he dies, this asshole does too. Slowly. C'mon, Lavan.'

-...-

'Lavan?'

-He will also die fiery. Slow fiery dying, that will displease him.-

~Uh...good to know.~

>His sentence will be decided by my sister and I.

'Yeah, well I'm a top infiltrator and he's a fire monster from beyond space. We'll give our own sentence if 32 bites it, and OUR sentence will have a lot more exclamation points on the end, believe you me!'

-And it will be in a very fancy cursive!-

'C'mon, Lavan.'

>...

~Well, that's just great.~

"...eeeeeeeee..."

>Oh silence your whimpering, come on! You! Guards! Now!

~Yes, your majesty!~
>>
>>27585136
>Chiggers trying to supersede the law

Oh when will they learn?
>>
Non-Canon
>Applejack
"Rarity"
~~~~~
>Welcome to Fireside /pa/ with your host Applejack. It's during this time that Ah' fix things in my sleep.

"and me~"

>Yep, here to get you fixed.

"Hey!"

>What do you have for us?

"Actually, I was curious about the Filly Scouts."

>Oh right. We had a good talk about the Filly Scouts in the past and I talked about my camping experience. Then I bought cookies and asked them to stop coming.

"...You bought cookies from them?"

>Yeah, Ah' felt a little bad that they weren't going to get business from us anymore so Ah' bought a box.

"...so this is how it begins."

>Ah' don't know what you're talking about. The Filly Scouts are going to stop now. They seem reasonable enough. Problem solved.

"...I guess we'll see later."

>Don't you have faith in today's youth?

"...I did say they've been getting bold."

>Ah'm telling ya, you're fussing over nothing. Anyway thanks everypony for joining me on...the Fireside.
>>
>>27585870
JUST FUCK ALREADY
>>
Morning Thread.
>>
>>27585060
>Weirder
>To AVOID chaos label

What.

>>27585870
She's doomed.
>>
>>27583532
Well, that's a fun sight to wake up to.
>>
>>27586373
He means
>Nnooooo, don't figure out a way to counter or be stronger than my OC, I want him to be the most powerful character!
>Yss, I know a character named Lavan was a Gen 1 character. Statement unchanged.
>>
>>27584356
Glorious!
>>
>>27586651
Actually, since it's Lavan specifically, he has two easy and hilarious kryptonites to be used if you want anyone, literally anyone, to easily beat him. Won't say what they are in case it comes up in a story, but if you know the Gen 1 character it's not hard to figure out.
>>
>>27586651
Already proven he can go through Chaos magic so Discord is out, but he can be beaten more mundanely as >>27586799 eluded to.

I'm sorry that we have yet another character that AJ can't intimidate into submission or easily overcome. But that happens when your main character is a midcarder in terms of power. That is why the show has Twilight as out and out better than everyone else, so most threats have to go trough her.
>>
>SA
"Pinkie"
~~~

>This cannot be healthy.

"Shining, be straight with me, how healthy is our culture? No, really, do you see how much emphasis we put on sweets? Do you not see how much our world is full of candy and sugar and everything like it? We have so many sweets that even ponies who's cutie mark is candy still end up moving garbage for a living, because the market is so utterly flooded that it's available anywhere, anytime. Even ponies out in the middle of nowhere fuckoff tundra somehow get all the ingredients they need to make the most delectable of cakes, why? Because we need it. We are bright, colorful little ponies Shining, and we need our candy and sugary goodness! We need it! WE NEED IT! AND NOTHING SHALL EVER TAKE IT FROM USSSSS!"

>...But still, frying a stick of butter?

"It's good!"

>Are you diabetic, you have to tell me if you are.

"Not yet!"

>...

"I wake up in a cold sweat sometimes, and I keep a bottle of bleach underneath my bed, just in case. I'm not sure how much time I have on this planet, Shiny, but I'm not spending it without the cakes."

>...M'kay, fried butter it is.

"That's the spirit! Live before you die!"

>To being mortal!

"Mortality!"
>>
>>27586888
...That's awesome and terrifying.
>>
>>27586882
>I'm sorry that we have yet another character that AJ can't intimidate into submission or easily overcome.

So then, she is going to fight him/have to take him down/control him to prevent something/figure out how to defeat/overcome in some meaningful sense at some point in the future?

Ah, nevermind the first statement then. Sorry for jumping the gun on that, I forget our setup for action/debate/whatever events can take a long time, with the time spaced it was just starting to seem like he was there and just arbitrarily was declared the strongest by a writer trying to hype up their own creation, with no real connection or meaning to it in the story.

Absolutely then, I don't care how strong he is. An Antagonist is there to give the protagonist challenge, be it physical, character or otherwise, to complain about them being too strong is to miss the point. The setup to make it harder for Discord to intervene makes more sense now that I know it's actually going to be something AJ has to confront and deal with, and is good planning if a bit 'informed ability'. Still, informed ability well before any event that would follow the eventual storyline where AJ actually has to match Lavan, mentally magically or otherwise, prevents a lot of plotholes from forming.

With that in mind, I guess I can relax knowing that, at some point, Lavan is going to be the antagonist to something, and AJ is going to have to be the one to confront and overcome it, so his super-duper-special-magic seems less... well, super-duper-special, and more an obstacle that's going to matter int the long run.
>>
>>27586943
He was originally set up to be a big bad before his initial contact with the crystal harem and with the little tidbits of him 'trying to kill everything in the past' and 'using interesting things to keep himself distracted' he is still primed to be arc anytime we want to set him off.

Basically, when his 2-esc level of Childlike wonder runs out, he is going to fall back on old ways. And bonus points in that he won't be weak to bug types if you catch my drift.
>>
>AJ
"Chrysalis"
'Cadence'
~~~

>You want us to what!?

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"

>Plum silly!

"Insane even!"

>Discord would call hootenany!

"Even I'm not this crazy!"

>What are you thinking!?

'I just think it would be a good idea for practice, is all. I mean, we're on really good terms with the Maretonians, they're pretty nice, so it would be good to have a meeting with them to discuss matters is all.'

>How is that a good idea!?

"Do you want a want an embargo!? Do you!? Because that's how you get embargos, putting me looking like me in the room after a goddamn bugzilla rampage!"

>And Ah've got enough on mah' plate without Celly chewin' off mah' damn ear cause Ah' messed up yet again cause nobody can stand mah' friggen straight talk!

"Or her talk in general, it's confusing!'

>HEY!

'... Chrysalis, I'm playing the card.'

"Don't you dare!"

'Doing it.'

"Cadence, I swear!"

'Card. Played.'

"...I'm going to pour all your shampoo down the drain.'

>Go ahead and play whatever card ya' want on me! Ah' dare ya, Ah' double dog dare ya'! Triple even! Ah'll do a triple! Ya'll ain't got nothin', and ya' ain't gonna get nothin', that'll make me play this game! Ah'm stickin' outta the fancy talk and you ain't got a single dang thing to change my mind! TRY ME!

'...Auntie Cellllllyyyy!'

>DON'T YOU BUCKIN' DARE!

'Your favorite adopted niece has a faaavoorrrr!'

>Come back! Come back here!... Chrysalis stop her!

"If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me."

>Betrayal! Ah' knew you'd stab me in the back!

"No regrets."

'Aunnnttieee!'

>COME BACK!
>>
So Lavan's going to end up another villain then. Lovely.
>>
>>27587151
Can't please everyone.

either we keep him as 88's happy-go-lucky sidekick and leave him in that third string of 32/77/88/JJ/acty/Pommel/Daw/side guard/29/MM/Zecora/Trixie/Luna knowing he can beat anyone we point him at.

or

We let him eventually rampage and feed him to AJ,
>>
>>27587146
Whipped!

>>27587151
Nobody said villain, they said antagonist. As in, someone opposite the protagonist who they need to overcome in some way, much like how Chitty technically wasn't a villain in the latest arc, but she was pure antagonist.

And if you have a problem with Lavan being an antagonist... why? What, I ask, is otherwise the purpose of him being one of the most powerful, if not the most powerful, characters? He wasn't like that in G1, so it's not a legacy thing. Even if there was a threat he could take down, we wouldn't want him to do it instead of one of the more established characters. He wasn't alluded to in the main storyline before his appearance, he wasn't a presence or escalation presence during any of the arcs, and he was introduced literally by dropping him out of the sky.

If not to be an antagonist, if he's never going to be an obstacle that Aj can't, as earlier said, intimidate into submission or easily overcome, why have him be that powerful at all?
>>
>>27587246
My plan was have his power be usurped by someone with a far more villainous temperament taking advantage of him.
>>
>>27587273
That works too, It allows him to be overcome without taking away the way he is used now.
>>
>>27587151
Yep! Joining the ranks of that most villainous, that most evil, the one who nearly consumed the world in an endless darkness that could never be overcome, the threat to the world, nay, the very existence of the planet, who could only be overcome by wits, teamwork and just a bit of the power of friendship, the monstrous and terrible...

FLUTTERSHY!

>>27587273
Or that works, establish a powerlevel simply so that sometime in the future someone else could use his power instead, that way we know what he could do and when the time comes it would make sense why the protags would be prepared and know how to fight him.
>>
>>27586888
>Sim Pinkie Pie is an unparalleled reality warping warrior on par with Discord with the level of fuckshit she can unleash anywhere and anytime.

Well that's going to be a cotten candy blood bath.
>>
>Dash
"Various"
~~~~

>Guys? I'm going to be honest, I have doubts about this.

"Doubts!? With us!?"

"Ludicrous! We're the best sparring team you could hope to ask for!"

>Okay, first red flag, 'sparring'. You do know this isn't a fight, right? I'm looking for help in training.

"Same thing!"

>It really isn't.

"Look, you wanted the best, right?"

"Well, we'll have you know we were the very first to sign up for the Crystal Empire Airforce, and nobody has ever beaten our records!"

"Nobody!"

>...But, wait, didn't they-

"So if you want the best..."

"If you want to be trained with the best..."

"If you want the ones who know the game and can make you a real hero..."

"Then you've come to the right place..."

"Because nobody is better at this than..."

"""""THE RAINBOLTS!"""""

>...Uh huh.

"""""RAINBOLTS! TOKUSENTAI!"""""

RAINBOOOOM!

>GAHHHHH! MY HAIR! MY HAIR IS ON FIIIRRRRREEEEE!

"OH NO! Miss Dash!"

"SHIT! Those were supposed to go off behind us, not in front of us!"

"Damn it yellow, look what you did!"

"But Indigo was the one who-"

"Fucking. Yellow."

"Okay..."

"...So! First day of training is on, Rainbow Dash, I hope you've learned a valuable lesson about being prepared for the unexpected!"

>IT BUUURRRNNNNNS!

"You need to work on your dodging, just a bit of con crit."

>AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
>>
>>27587452
Shoulda stayed in the empire, fellas.
>>
>2
"18"
~~

>Shiny? Mommy? Ah'm home from school... what the...

"HELP!"

>Uh, Eighteen? Ya' know Mommy doesn't like it when ya' sit on the throne, it gives her flashbacks.

"THEY WON"T STOP!"

>That is a long line of ponies. Are they all sittin' on the throne? OH OH! CAN I GO TOO!? Do I gotta be tall enough to ride it? Ah'm really tall! I can fwoosh taller too, cause changeling! It ain't cheatin', Not-mom said so!

"SO MANY QUESTIONS!"

>Are they 'is it mah' turn on the throne yet'? Cause Ah' get where they're coming from.

"GAHHHH!"

>Wow, that ride is way more fun than it looks, yer' not even movin' and yer' screamin'!

"SHINY HELP!"

>Are ya' stuck? Ah' can help ya' out!

WHUMP!

"..."

>Yer' free!

"...thank you, Two, I needed to remember that the pain is real, and not all in my head."

>Yer' welcome... wow, I am good at this, maybe Ah' should solve some problems!

"...So tempting... so... tempting..."
>>
>>27587741
She's gonna rule it someday, might as well get it out of the way now.
>>
>>27587976
Mally taxes, 20 percent of each batch goes to Princess Two.
>>
>Guard
"Guard2"
'Trixie'
~???~
~~~~

One look, and the guard to the dungeon knew today was going to be another one of those days.

How he longed for the days when he saw so little action he could have written an entire novel in his downtime, one word an hour. He wished he could go back to the days before the return of Nightmare Moon, when everything was just plain more simple. When everything made more sense.

When he didn't see three guards being needed to drag a single, wild mare into his prison, and knew right away she was going to be a loud one.

'UNHOOF THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE BEFORE SHE BLASTS YOU INTO A BILLION PIECES! SHE'S A HERO, DAMN IT!'

The guard at the front was the quickest to react, a fact that brought great ire to the two who had to continue holding her flailing form. He looked positively relieved the moment his ear managed to get away from the unending screech of his captive.

>Is the captain around? We have another prisoner.

'HERO!'

The stallion at the desk sighed, idly flipping out his book, and inking his quill.

"I'm afraid he's dealing with the recent assassination attempt, he's dealing with the perpetrator personally, and isn't around."

>Damn.

"What's she in for?"

>She went crazy in a hospital, destroyed a whole bunch of stuff, knocked a bunch of ponies down, the usual.

'TRIXIE DID NO SUCH THING! IT WAS SUNSET! SUNSET DAMN IT! SHE DID IT!'

>She also claims the former fugitive was there, yet miraculously, none of the dozen or so other ponies she knocked over spotted her. Imagine that.

'SHE MADE THEM FORGET!'

>She also somehow did mind stuff to them, allegedly, despite us scanning them and finding no traces of such.

'BECAUSE YOU SUCK AT THIS!'

>Just look up "Trixie", she's already got a record.

'SHE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG!'

"Let's see here... Ah, Trixie, so did you-"

>We looked for any sign of the Alicorn Amulet, nothing.

'...OKAY! THAT ASIDE! SHE DID THAT! BUT THAT WAS IT, AND TRIXIE HAS CHANGED!'

1/3
>>
>>27588284

>Good news, she can't blame the Amulet for this one, so we actually get to persecute her this time.

'TRIXIE WAS FRAMED! IT WAS SUNSET, DAMN IT!'

"Yeah yeah, put her next to the guy who said it was totally Chitania who stole his neighbors furniture... that's not a joke, there actually a guy down there who did that."

>Seriously?

"Yep. Wasn't as loud as her about it."

'BECAUSE TRIXIE IS TELLING THE TRUTH!'

"Suuure, just like everyone else in there."

>Just sign the papers so we can offload her, we're going to go deaf any second now.

'TRIXIE WILL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS! SHE'S INNOCENT!'

"Can we add threatening a guard to that? Just because."

>Why not?

'OH COME ON!'

"Alright, take her back to cell B Three... uh..."

At the other's confusion, he raised a single hoof, pointing out to a fellow guard racing towards them at full tilt. Too quickly, as he soon found out when he collided hard with the edge of the desk. The young stallion was winded, but all too soon he had gasped back enough to find his voice.

~Is the captain around!? I need to speak with him, NOW!~

"He's dealing with the assassination-"

~Well, tell him to forget it! I need him! I need the princesses! I need everybody!~

>Sterling, I swear if you're drunk again-

~THE PRISONER HAS ESCAPED!~

The guards, and the mare in their custody, went deathly silent.

>Which prisoner?

~The one in the hospital! The associate of Chitania! The one who Daw hit! THAT ONE!~

"Oh, fuck."

>How could she have gone anywhere!? She could barely walk and was chained to the damn bed!

~The whole bed is gone with her!~

>How!?

'Erm...'

They moved so fast, they looked like a film that had scenes missing, simply jumping from their panic to staring right into Trixie's soul in an instant.

'...did Trixie forget to mention Sunset was breaking out that mare when Trixie fought her? And totally won, by the way. That's why Trixie fought her, she thought it was a kidnapping.'

2/3
>>
>>27588303

Slowly, ever so slowly, the head stallion's eyes narrowed into a glare.

>You... 'forgot' to mention that'

'She was mostly quiet during the fight, it's easy to forget.'

>...Lock her up.

'But it's the truth!'

>LOCK HER UP!

'NO! NO WAIT! TRIXIE'S TELLING THE TRUTH! SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A KIDNAPPING! SHE FOUGHT SUNSET! SHE WON! SHE WON DAMN IT! WAAAIIIIITT!'

No longer questioning it, and desperate to get away from her before their hearing was completely gone, the two eagerly complied, and dragged her off.

'TRIXIE WILL GET YOU FOR THIIIIiiiiissssss...'

>Can't believe she thought we would buy that.

"Right? What, were we born yesterday?"

>But the prisoner almost certainly used her little stint to escape.

"Perfect distraction, you have to admit."

>And she was right by the hall... any chance she was in cahoots with them?

"No reason to assume it, far as I know they never worked together."

>Damn, was hoping to get her for that to. Will have to settle for all the many assault charges.

~So um... about the prisoner escape-~

>Just... inform the captain, we'll have to deal with that. In the meantime...

He winced, still able to hear the mare clear from where he was.

>Let's ask the princesses if there's room in the budget to soundproof the cells...
>>
>>27588315
Even when Sunset is completely fucking up and losing fights, she comes out on top.

Bravo.
>>
>>27588340
Yeah, but she's always gonna remember this.

No matter how big or how bad she gets, she'll always remember that day.

The day that she lost, to the Great and Powerful Trixie.
>>
>>27588430
"You are the worst Mage I have ever heard off."

>But you have heard of Trixie!
>>
>>27588315
-...sooooo, what're you in for?-

'TRIXIE WAS UNJUSTLY ACCUSED!'

-...I can't tell if this is an upgrade of downgrade from Fatso.-
>>
>>27588499
I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought of that.

She even has a nice hat too!
>>
>>27588315
It's a good thing it was Sunset who screwed her over, or Trixie might have been thinking of a teamup out of spite.
>>
>Chitania
"???"
~~~~

>...Have I really been reduced to hoof puppets? Is that where my life went?

"Hey! I'm right here! That's very offensive to me! I have half a mind to leave you to be a jerk all by yourself!"

>Yeah? Where are you going to go?

"I could go anywhere, the world is my oyster! You think I won't do the dirty stuff for a part? I'll let them stick whatever in me, I don't give a fuck!"

>Fine, go on then.

"Fine, I will!... Hng!... HGNN!... Oh no, I'm trapped!"

>Ha.

"Help! Guards! I'm being hoofnapped, literally!"

>I'm not holding you.

"Let me go you ugly brute! I'll scream! RAPE! RAAAAPPPPPE!"

>...

"Ha, just kidding, you know I'm nothing without you. You make me feel just full, and without you I'd be a sad sack on the ground, flopping and just laying there."

>...

"Because I'm a sock."

>...okay, choice made. Next chance I get, I'm buying all the alcohol I can, and filling up every leg hole.

"Where did you even get a sock anyway?"

>...huh...
>>
>>27588783
Eh, you're in Equestria, socks are practically lingerie.
>>
>>27588783
>Is literally just sitting there with a hoof puppet
>Is goddamn hillarious

Beautiful.
>>
>Twilight
"Guard'
~~~~~

>Okay, how about this. A generous benefits package including a huge retirement bonus!

"You already offer that, it was an incentive to regain guards after Cordyceps."

>Ah, right. How abooout, a great vacation package!

"Offer that already, it was why we stuck around after Chitania attacked."

>Ah, that we did. What abooout.. downtime! Lot's of downtime!

"Between the giant monster attacks, you mean?"

>Right, that's a thing... great health benefits?

"We already get free healthcare."

>Fuck, Celestia got that one already...

"..."

>...Jelly of the month club?

"Is that a threat, or an offer?"

>Yes.

"I'll take the punishment, thank you. Better than being in the middle of a city that gets attacked by star bears and no longer has the greatest heroes in Equestria guarding it."

>...shiiiiitttt...
>>
>>27588975
Huh. Who would be a good fit down there?

I guess we could do one like lucky, but he's not really shown any real interest and he doesn't really have any connection to it. One's like DT are off being a superhero celebrity and they are right out, and all of our Mains are tied up in something else obviously. We don't really have a good fit.
>>
>>27589067
Just give it to Harry. He'll be about as effective as anyone else.
>>
>>27589067
Spike?
>>
>>27589211
Give him something to do, I guess?
>>
>>27589211
>Makes a new A-team down in Ponyville
>He's only got Cloudchaser, Derpy, Harry and 77 with occasional help from Trixie

I actually wouldn't mind that.
>>
>>27589323
The A-Team B Team? I can dig it.
>>
>>27589211
>>27589274
>>27589323
Just give it to Harry the Bear. It's the whole reason why I left him there to be a volunteer guard, so that somewhere down the line we wouldn't have to worry about it.
>>
>>27589323
...you know what? Maybe. I'll wait till after the Spike/Jetset thing is resolved first, but I kinda dig the idea of Spike going down there to try and find warriors to defend the place, but only getting... Derpy.

We're putting that one in the maybe pile, after he finishes unlocking himself.
>>
>>27589323
>>27589343
>>27589371
>New A-Team is formed
>Ready to fight and defend for the good of Horses

>Not a single threat comes about to Ponyville, leaving them with nothing to do
>>
>>27589385
Isn't that the dream of every soldier?
>>
>Fluttershy
"Cantie"
'Cantie 2'
~~~

>I don't know why you think I want this, but you keep coming to me. Do you think I want this? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you think that, but-

"This asshole is stealing my paper!"

'I am not!'

>Um... does this really require-

"I demand you cut off his hooves for stealing!"

'Oh yeah!? Well I demand you have your tongue cut out for lying!'

>Wow, that um... that is really extreme a reaction, just in general. I'm not even talking about this situation specifically, just in general this seems like it would be pretty huge-

"Well, I demand you have your hooves cut off for stealing and tongue cut out for lying, because you did both!"

'Well, you should be locked up for life for filing a false report, with the biggest zebra thug you can find!'

>We don't have those... I don't mean zebras in general, we have the one, but we don't have zebra thugs, she's nice. She makes me tea when I come down, it's delightful-

"Oh yeah!? Well we'll see how you fight off those big muscly advances when you don't have hooves!"

'Oh yeah!? Well he's going to be real disappointed with you when he learns you don't have a tongue!'

>This got real uncomfortable real fast.

"You know what you need!? You need to get locked up with a griffon!"

'YOU TAKE THAT BACK!'

"Yeah, I bet he'd cuddle you nice and long through the night! You'd share a whole life together!"

'Don't shove your fantasies on to me! I'm not the one who would let that happen!'

>...Is he racist for saying that or you racist for not wanting that?

"PRINCESS! Sentence him!"

'PRINCESS! Double sentence him!'

>I'm not a-

"THAT'S IT!"

'I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

"AAGGGHH!"

'AGGGHHHH!'

>Oh, oh dear, please stop fighting! Please stop, could you just-I'm trying not to do any of my magic, I can't control it well when I get worried, and-oh dear! Oh dear oh dear! Stop! Don't... wait, what are you doing?... What are you doing!? STOP! THIS IS SOMEHOW WORSE!... GET A ROOM, IF THAT'S OKAY WITH YOU!
>>
>>27589385
That makes me less inclined to put him in charge there. I want him to be able to move freely not chain him down to a small town.
>>
>>27589590
I sorta feel the same way. Feels like we're pushing him further to the side than he already is/was.
>>
>>27583532
NC
>Chitania
"Piano salesmare"
~~~

>Hrmmm...

"Wow, I am not comfortable with you looking through my wares."

>Are these tuned? I don't want to go through tuning them, that's a pain.

"They, uh... they are tuned, yes."

>You sure?

TINK!

>That one sounds a little high.

"I... don't know what's more shocking, you saying that or managing to only hit one key, and not break the thing."

>Hrmm.

TING!

>This one's a little better, but it's flat.

"I would correct you but I feel like you would punch me, and I would explode."

>Hrm...

Dooo!

>This one I like.

"To smash someone with? Yeah, that thing could smash a wall... and a pony. Not this pony, hopefully, but-"

>Let me just try it out.

"How do you try that out? Smashing is one use-"

https://youtu.be/3qq-1gCiB7g?t=22m54s

"...Wha... what?"

>I like it!

"...Fuck, meth is a hell of a drug."
>>
>>27588315
Well the good news is that Trixie has a writer, so being locked up is not a death sentence character wise.

Bad news is, unless we pull rank by having Twilight's plot >>27588975 mix and get her forgiven she is not getting out unless 29 breaks her out or Sunset is captured.

>>27589371
He's been off and on this goal for about a year, please don't try to wait on it.
>>
>>27589872
>He's been off and on this goal for about a year, please don't try to wait on it.

He's referring to the currently in-progress subplot, IE Jetset and Spike are currently talking with Celestia, they just met up and decided to talk but we haven't actually gotten their scene where they discuss the unlocking thing yet. Presumably, afterwards, he'll be a bit more open for use.
>>
>>27589872
Nah, Trixie will be fine, don't worry about it.
>>
>>27589850
Nnnnn~ice!
>>
>>27589872
>He's been off and on this goal for about a year, please don't try to wait on it.
Eh, didn't get a positive reaction to the idea, so I guess I'll just leave him be.

Plenty more to write about, no worries.
>>
>>27590035
>Plenty more to write about, no worries.

With him, or just in general?
>>
>>27590160
The idea in particular, not him.

In fact, the talk gave me an idea about who to pick...
>>
LAST THREAD RECAP, TRIXIE TIME EDITION!
>42 is shocked how many visitors 32 has.
>Lightning dust reaps the benefits of her position.
>AJ and Chrysalis, after finishing up the basics for their idea for love as a currency, which much to Chrysalis's dismay entails leaving a sizeable portion of her treasury and every bit she owns in the Embassy with 32, realize that they have no way to propose this to other countries, as they both suck at politics.
>Cadence, happily, does not, and begins training them.
>...It goes badly.
>Actarius and JJ, going into the embassy, realize it's a madhouse, with rooms connecting randomly, and quickly get lost.
>Rarity gets up, and gets to work.
>Chitty gets bored without Sunset.
>PD and Gwen blow off some steam.
>18 solves CE problems, and grows more insane as time goes by.
>Siegfried, with some insistence from Watchdog, finally gets the courage to get out of the hole he's been hiding in, only to find his mother gone.
>The go out searching for Vekir, and shockingly manage to stumble across her.
>SA and Pinkie meet up, realize they haven't hung out in a while, and decide to have fun. And oh, the fun they have.
>While messing up with the Celestia-Rocket, they also stumble across Quicksilver, still down beneath Canterlot. After some mishaps that leaves him injured, they get him back to safety.
>42 is having none of 29's shit.
>The would be assassin tries to convince Snake Eyes to help him get out of this, as he still has to buy his guys some time, but Snake Eyes is having none of it. In fact, he turns it on him, and gets ready to deliver everything to the princess.
>One problem, it wasn't the princess he expected.
>Worse than that, Luna accidentally messes up who the accused pony is, and takes Snake Eyes off to Celestia. The confusion is cleared up shortly after SE's gives some helpful advice, and Snake Eyes is tossed back in his cell, with the assassin back to being taken away.
>Farmerling does not like it when you shoot at his crops.
1/4
>>
>>27590384
>Dash and Twilight do not question SA/Pinkie.
>Honeyheart wakes up after seeing another scene of Jetset's training with Shining. When she wakes up, she's surprised to find she's not kidnapped, nor is the diamond dog, named Zanta a bad guy. The reason the glasses gave off a warning sign had more to do with the fact they're completely surrounded.
>Uh oh.
>Awkwardling discovers that the Pie Family mostly messes with their guests with the rock soup.
>Cloudchaser makes Amethyst take the fall for the town hall thing.
>MM, having had enough, finally insists to Twilight she get some guards down in Ponyville. Reluctantly, Twilight agrees.
>She's quick to find out she would need to appoint a captain of the guard down there, as Pommel obviously is only the captain in Canterlot, but one problem... nobody wants the job.
>Nobody.
>Zecora and 42 reminisce about the poledancing.
>13 gets a gun, and names it bangy shoot shoot. She is not good with names.
>BBB has revolutionary ideas about an orange cat.
>007 finds the cave leading to his target, and after debating with himself about it, decides he's not going to fail the hive again.
>Rarity struggles to find a way to hold the princesses accountable.
>42 and 32 banter.
>After this, they have a long discussion about the current and future state of the changelings, debating each other, and seeing the others point.
>SP and 41 see an oddly familiar wrestling show...
>Two's teacher is confused why she knows how to spell assassin.
>Nobody seems to listen to Fluttershy when she says she's not a princess.
>Including Zecroa
>Chitania tries to move the sun. It doesn't work.
>Dr Hardlove, after a lot of bantering, releases Screwloose.
>CC and Derpy set up an obstacle course for Dash, and Derpy does not understand offensive words.
>Sweetie Doll wants to be a real filly.
2/4totallymeantfour
>>
>>27590389
>DT meets up with her mom, Spoiled Rich, in Trottingham. Despite the obvious signs she's being used, she's just happy to see her mom again, and happy to see Silver Spoon again, who though concerned won't push her.
>Trixie, having stumbled into the hospital room and thinking that Sunset is about to kidnap Sweet Note, engages Sunset in battle. Sunset, meanwhile, holds back and merely attempts to erase her memory.
>Though she can't match her in magic, shockingly, Trixie's able to outtrick her. To the point where, after being battered particularly hard, she manages to fool Sunset into thinking she's escaped, then actually escape.
>During the battle, Sunset slips more and more, until Trixie's escape has her outright livid. She recklessly chases her down the hospital hallway with Sweet Note pulled in tow, firing off mind-wiping spells in a frenzy as she goes to anyone who spots her.
>Eventually, she thinks she's caught Trixie in a long stretch of hallway, but Sunset was tricked yet again! Trixie substituted in a passer-by, and Sunset mind-wiped then.
>A back and forth ensues, with Trixie tricking and outsmarting Sunset to hit blow after blow, but never managing to keep the prodigy down. After she gets the advantage and a bad blow, Trixie thinks she's won, and awaits Sweet Note's praise. It was only here that she learns Sweet Note wasn't being kidnapped, and she wanted to leave. No time to ponder it, as out of the blue Sunset attacks, and catches her!
>Finally, it looks like Susnet has her. Until, it turns out, there was someone who wanted to see Trixie get beat up.
>A not-alive someone.
3/4FOURISWHATISAIDOTHERTHINGDIDN'THAPPEN
>>
>>27590397
>FLASH! When Sunset is blinded, Trixie unleashes everything she has, and unleashing a fireworks display without peer right into Sunset's chest.
>Though the mare is alive, and still standing, Trixie won all the same. The guards are coming, brought by the display, and there's no time to fight. Mockingly, Trixie declares she was holding back the whole time, and when Sunset prepares to leave Trixie gives on final warning about ever doing what she did to her friends.
>With no time left, Sunset Teleports with Sweet Note in tow and Trixie takes a bow.
>The guards arrive soon after, but it doesn't quite go as planned.
>"TRIXIE LULAMOON, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!"
>It takes Trixie about a second to realize everyone else got mindblasted.
>"Well played, Sunset..."

Ignore that other bit of nonsense, and as always, if I missed something or misunderstood something mid-skim gimme a shoutout.
>>
>Rarity
"Cantie"
~~~

>Excuse me? I'm trying to get an opinion on possibly getting some accountability for the Royal class-

"You mean giving us more power?"

>...If by us you mean the normal ponies, I suppose yes-

"VIVA LA' REVOLUTION! DEATH TO THE BOURGEOIS! VICTORRRRY-"

>Erm... it's just a proposal right now.

"..........oh..........."

>...

"....I vote yes?"

>I'll um... put that down.

"You're not writing anything."

>So I'm not.

"..."

>...

"...NO GODS NO-"

>Stop.

"Okay..."
>>
>>27589872
>Well the good news is that Trixie has a writer, so being locked up is not a death sentence character wise.

Yeah, thank god.

29 anon even kept 32 from getting zeroed out, Trixie's fine.
>>
>>27589850
>Chitty becoming a concert pianist

That would be amazing.
>>
>>27590409
>In a OoCO story. Spike and Rarity follow a lead on Caramel Sandiego by cornering a mare named Iron Snatch.
>She's not what her name sounds like, but after a firefight she decides to cooperate and is willing to tell him what she knows about Caramel Sandiego.
>Unfortunately, she slips on the wet floor and falls down the stairs, so she'll be unable to say anything. Spike calls in the meat wagon.
>>
>>27590573
And in the distance, 32's voice echoes:

'I like you, let's hang out.'
>>
>>27591124
I thought he got over that?
>>
>>27590573
Tripped at the first hurdle.
>>
Night Thread
>>
>SA
"Pinkie"
~~~~

>Huh. Should I question why my wife is skipping off, being followed by a screaming Applejack and a grumpy Chrysalis?

"Nope!"

>You sure? That seems like something I should question.

"Nuh uh! No questions here!"

>I reeeeallly feel like questioning this. Just to know why Cadence is so happy, I wanna know that.

"Shiny, I'm going to be honest here, you could question it, that's a thing you could do, but there's a catch. If you question it.... you're a part of it."

>Really?

"Can't escape it. If you question it, all this fun ends, and you have to go do prince things and deal with a grumpy AJ and a pouty Chrysalis. Either you just let it go...or you have to go deal with all of it."

>Hrm..

"Orrr... you could keep having fun with your buddy Pinkie."

>...hrmmm...

"Ehh? Ehhhh? I have ballooooons."

>...hmmmnn... nngggmmm...

"...ehhhhh?"

>...Well, Cadence is smiling, she's obviously having a good time.

"Riiiight?"

>So if I got in there, there's a one percent chance I'd ruin it.

"Minimum!"

>And I'm having fun over here, and if I leave it it's a hundred percent chance it's over on this.

"Perfect math!"

>So if there's a one percent chance I'll make Caddy not happy anymore, and a hundred percent chance I myself won't be happy... you know what? Let's just stick with this, this is working.

"That'a boy! Follow the pink party pony and lets have more fun!"

>There's probably some questionable implications about all this-

"Yeah, but are you going to question it, or are you going to bounce?"

>...is that an inflatable house, whatever it's name may be?

"That it iiiisss!"

>...And thus, I'm done thinking.

"WHHHHHEEEEEEE!"
>>
>>27591889
There's an infidelity joke to be made here, but I just am too classy to make it.
>>
>>27592356
She is a pink temptress, that she is.
>>
>Celestia
"Luna"
'Assassin'
-Pommel-

"Sister, we have brought the fiend."

-And I brought the guard. Not the ones who brought in the camel slaver but they're up to the task of playing hoofball linestallion for this guy.-

~Hike!~

-Buckler that was just a metaphor, stop posing like that.-

~Aw...~

>Very well...so, here you are.

'Uhm...uh...hi?'

>Sister, please, take a seat beside me.

"Of course!"

>Now, state your name.

'...m...my name?'

>Yes.

'...Lord...Ruby...Delicatessen.'

>...

"..."

~Of the Neigh Jersey Delicatessens?~

-Shush, Buckler.-

>I'm going to ask you to refrain from lying to us, it's only going to make things worse on you.

'Worse? How could this get worse!?'

>You've committed a grave crime, one that I thought my ponies incapable of. True, in times of heightened tensions they have proven brash, prejudiced, and capable of the most idiotic actions one can imagine...

"But even at their most foolish, the ponies of Equestria at least believed they were helping their people, blinded by their ignorance!"

>...but there was nothing ignorant about what you did. It reeked of something different altogether: Desperation.

"Cloaked in the guise of hatred, you sought to obfuscate your artifice. But now, now your disguise it stripped away to reveal the vile worm underneath!"

'I...uh...I...I...'

>There's only hope now to keep you from facing a fate fitting what you've done.

"And We think you know what it is."

'...wh...what do you want to know?'

>Let's start with your name.

'...Tubbs...Tubbs Canoli.'

~...wow, that's like naming your kid Diabetes Lardgut.~

-Buckler!-
>>
>>27592997
>Buckler

Okay, that this guy did not turn to a life of crime is the most shocking thing in this.
>>
>>27593468
Fun fact! He's been around FOREVER! That's the guy 77 cut when he first showed up.
>>
>>27592997
Cannot tell if Buckler's a smart ass or just reeeeally dumb...
>>
Morning, thread
>>
Non-Canon
>Applejack
"Rarity"
~~~~~
>Welcome to Fireside /pa/ with your host Applejack. It's during this time that Ah' fix things in my sleep.

"Plus me, Rarity~"

>In your dreams.

Rarity smiles.
"Already there, darling."

>Whatever. What do you have for me?

"Actually, I'm curious if the Filly Scouts came back?"

>They...yes. Yes they came back. They thought Ah' was joking about telling them to stop coming.

"Ahh, then what did you do?"

>Ah' told them to leave.

"Did they?"

>Eeeyup.

"Did they give you puppy dog eyes?"

>Yup. Still told them to leave.

"Did you end up buying cookies from them?"

>......huh. Ah' did...weird.

"They'll be back tomorrow then."

>Hmmm...Ah' guess Ah've been too easy on them. Third time's the charm. Ah' guess this problem is still unresolved, but catch me next time on...the Fireside.
>>
>>27594601
HAVE

SEX

NOW
>>
>>27594601
Oh, AJ, it's already too late.
>>
>>27593803
That's how good of a smart ass he is! Just enough to keep you guessing
>>
Who is Buckler again? Think I may have missed a story, work and all...
>>
>>27594959
Just a guard.
>>
File: 1465342756463.jpg (41KB, 498x330px) Image search: [Google]
1465342756463.jpg
41KB, 498x330px
pic related, but with 10 interviewing Chitania.
>>
>>27595547
...pretty much sums her up, yeah.
>>
>Actarius
“JJ”
‘???’
~~~

>Alright, I think I’ve got it figured out again-WHOA!

“Whoa what!? WHOA WHAT!?”

‘Helloooo.’

>Uh…

“Is that someone else!? Is someone else in there with you?”

>…No?

“You are seeing someone else, aren’t you!”

>JJ it’s not like that.

“I knew it! There was someone there the whole time!”

>It’s not what you think!

“Are they taller than me? Shorter? Go on, tell me all about them!”

>Why would that matter?

“It matters to me! I wanna know who’s with you!”

>Look, this just sorta happened and it’s not what it sounds like.

“It sounds like you’re with someone else!”

>Well… I mean, I guess, but it’s not what you think-

“I know what I think and I think it! You think I can’t hear? That I wouldn’t find out? I was gonna hear it somehow eventually! Why try hiding it?”

>It’s… it’s uh…

“Just… is it another changeling?”

>No!

“Oh, thank goodness, I’d never hear the end of it… but that’s not better!”

>JJ…

“Now start talking mister, and no more misdirection and lies! I can’t take anymore! I’m pretty much just that as a species! TALK!”

>JJ!

“What!?”

>It’s a painting.

“…”

>And it talked.

“…Ah, I see.”

>…

“…So are you-“

>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

“There it is….AHHHHHH!”
>>
>>27596157
Ghosts now, really?

Damn Lavan!
>>
>>27594616
That one wasn't even sexy!
>>
>DT
“Silver Spoon”
~~~

“Okay, who keeps trying to put me in skintight spandex?”

>It’s standard superhero gear.

“It’s creepy is what it is! Who wears this!?”

>Superheroes.

“You don’t wear it!”

>I’m a tactical superhero, different.

“Well, then let me be a tactical one!”

>We can’t have two tactical superheroes on a team. That’s just not done.

“You can have more than one!”

>But then how will we compliment each other’s abilities while also providing enough differences so that we’re not confused for each other?

“What abilities does spandex give me!?”

>Better backflips?... Look, I just don’t want us to have two of the same thing on a team. It’s just not done.

“Lots of soldiers with similar abilities work on the same thing, that’s literally the whole point of a battalion!”

>Yeah but…

“But what!?’

>What about the toy sales?

“Who cares about toy sales!?”

>…everybody.

“Fine then, you wear the spandex!”

>No! It makes TBRLIATU misfire, he gets snagged on it. He’s got a hair trigger as it is!

“Then… I dunno, give me body armor, not tactical armor! Tactical armor makes good toys!”

>Ehhhh…

“…”

>Fine, I’ll forward it to the marketing team.

“Thank you!”

>…

“Tell me it wasn’t you who wanted the spandex.”

>It wasn’t me, I don’t care what you look like.

“…”

>Feel better?

“Not remotely, that actually brings up a lot of uncomfortable questions.”
>>
>>27596614
This is Hollywood, SS.

Get ready for a lot of this.
>>
>Trixie
“Guard”
~~~

>THIS IS BULLSHIT! TRIXIE DID GOOD! SHE’S A HERO! SHE ACTUALLY WON A MAGICAL DUEL FOR ONCE! SHE BESTED A STUDENT OF CELESTIA AND APPLEJACK! TRIXIE DEMANDS HER FREEDOM AND CONGRATULATIONS!

“I do not get paid enough for this.”

>SHE WAS GOING TO BECOME A PRINCESS FOR THIS!
>>
>Lightning Dust
~~

>Iiinnnteresting.

She hadn’t questioned before why someone had discreetly slipped a note under her door, and she wouldn’t still. Because the why didn’t matter, what mattered was the how. How exactly someone had managed to slip past Wonderbolt security to do this was all she cared about.

>No alarms, no warning, they must’ve slipped in and out before anyone noticed.

She didn’t even bother opening the door, never for a second considering someone might still be there.

>I could probably catch them, but where’s the fun in that?

She pushed all thoughts aside, and threw caution to the wind, and opened the envelope. There was no poison or trap inside, just a letter.

>Very interesting.

A letter, professionally typed, neatly presented, and shining with the best materials money could buy down to the real gold leaf stamp.

>Well then…

All of that paled in comparison to what the envelope said.

>An interesting offer.

She took a second, looking all around to make sure she was alone. When she was sure none were peeking in, and none were spying, she discreetly slipped the note into her jacket, and gave it a nice pat.

>It couldn’t hurt to at least consider it… could it?

All the rest of the day, her cadets would wonder why she was smiling as brightly as the sun.
>>
>>27597232
Well, fuck. Who's teaming up with her now?
>>
>SA
"Pinkie"
~~~

"Soooo? One to ten, how amazing is it?"

>How did you do this?

"Shhhh, don't worry about how, just worry about the why. And the why is, why not?"

>I'm having a hard time arguing with that.

"Darn tootin'! So, one to ten, how good we talking?"

>One to ten on the giant fountain that shoots cotton candy?... Ten, definitely ten.

"Awesome! Another focus group tested! Partyland Two is going to be awesome!"

>Are you just using our time together to test future rides for your amusement park?

"Do you care?"

>...Nope.

"That's why I like you! LETS DANCE!"
>>
>>27597385
>PD
>Discord
>Sunset
>Unnamed third party

Take your pick.
>>
>>27597086
No, you weren't. But you would forever have bragging rights. Actual ones, not the ones you have now.
>>
>Chitania
"???"
'???'
~~~~

She was going to start hitting things.

She didn't know when she'd stop.

>WHERE IS SHE!?

A more paranoid type would quite reasonably, assume that she had been duped, and even now a hoard of Canterlot's finest were on their way to challenge her while she was weak, thereby allowing Sunset to torture the information she sought right out of her and lavish in the praise of Canterlot while she did it.

She was not a paranoid type.

So, instead of preparing for the onslaught she did not believe would come, she just punched a lot, and tried to ignore the voices in her head that had not left her be.

It was going to be a long day.

>Maybe I should try to just put on a disguise and go-GAH!

Or so she thought.

In a flash of light and a brilliant show of magic, at last, her newest ally against those who would bring her low returned.

It did not take long for her to notice something was off.

"ARRRRGHHHH!"

That helped the investigation greatly.

>What in love's name happened to you?

The pony spun on her, rage apparent in her eyes and hooves stamping in irritation every time she so much as twitched. So lost in her anger, she was even willing to point it squarely at the Titan herself, glaring her down with bloodshot eyes.

>Well?

"FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHAT!"

She almost recoiled, truly having no real idea how to respond to such brazen and genuine spite in the much smaller pony's voice.

>You look like you fell into a dragon mid flame bath.

"And you look like a... thing! A dumb thing! A really... thing!"

She sputtered and spat, hooves still trampling the dirt beneath her as if to crush the life out of the ground itself, and Chitania couldn't help but find it amusing.

>Did you at least get what you were after?

Sunset's response, whatever it may have been, never got a chance to emerge.

'Chitty!'

1/3
>>
>>27597838

All attention went to the happy white mare clinging to her monolithic leg, and the way her tail swung back and forth in eagerness and joy.

>Ah, I see.

'I knew you wouldn't leave me there! I knew you'd come back for me! Everyone was sayin' you'd just forget about me, but I knew better! Thank you thank you thank yoooouuu!'

Wisely, or at least comparatively wisely, Chitania did not mention she hadn't actually thought that Sunset would go for her, and any rescue of any kind had been planned for much, much later.

>Excellent work, Sunset, I-

"FUCK YOU, IT WASN'T WORTH IT!"

She, and thankfully Sweet Note, chose not to comment on that.

>Is there any chance you saw...

She didn't say the name, nor did it seem necessary. There was only one other body on this planet she cared for, and everyone knew it.

'Sorry, Sugar Bean, but she ran back to go be with the other changelings.'

Sagely, the massive Queen nodded. It was for the best, she supposed. In her current state, she was in no condition to protect her daughter as she should be. If nothing else, her niece's pride would prevent her from letting any other harm the changeling.

>We will deal with that later, but for now, we have bigger issues to worry about... are you really going to keep huffing?

The pony, who had up to this point been angrily kicking up dirt, froze and spun, redirecting the entirety of her rage square at the changeling once again.

"FUCK! YOU!"

>Very well. Well, with Sweet Note secured, we should be heading out.

'Ain't ya' gonna take that stuff?'

>What stuff... oh my.

She had wondered why they had brought the hospital bed.

>Well, that's just impressive.

How the pony had managed to fit all of her possessions onto it, she dared not even question. It had to be magic holding them all together, that was the only explanation that made sense. Nothing else cold keep the various metal scraps and vials of strange liquids stuck together and unbroken.

2/3
>>
>>27597845

>You're exceeding expectations, Sunset.

"FUCK YOOOUUUU!"

>In some areas at least... is she alright?

'Um...'

Nervously, the mare's face scrunched, and she did her very best not to look at the burning glare being thrown her way.

'She's... fine?'

>Uh huh.... are you about done?

"DAMN IIIITTT!"

The tree before them would never be the same.

Literally, it had somehow changed into a rosebush, even Chitania wasn't questioning that one.

"...fuck, I just wanted to... why the fuck did she have to just... this all could've been so easy, you know!"

Nor was she questioning the rant.

"Let's just... fucking go."

Or, for that matter, where the pony was going exactly when she started stomping off.

Chitania was questioning very little in her life, she noticed.

>Very well... are you well enough to walk?

The wobbling salute was every bit as fake and transparent as the earth pony's attempt to walk.

'Y-yep! Just fine, don't worry about me, I can keep up! I can-WHOA!'

>I'm not having you slow me down.

Sweet Note, also, was not questioning very much in her life.

Not that many would question why Chitania of all beings would carry them instead of just enjoying the ride.

'...t-thanks...'

>Sunset, do you feel like sharing where we're going?

"Oh, you want to know where we're going? You really want to know?"

Strange, thought the Titan, something about her voice was off. Something about it sounded...

"...we're going right to the top, Chitania... and we're making every one of them regret thinking we belonged any lower than that."

...familiar.

All the same...

Chitania wasn't complaining.

>About time.
>>
>>27597850
>They try to Kaiju fight again

>They're all so beaten up as shit they die of over exertion five minutes in

>And there was much rejoicing
>>
>>27597850
Not so smug anymore, eh sunny?
>>
>Dash
"Fluttershy"
~~

>Fluttershy! I need a favor.

"Oh, of course! What can I help you with?"

>I need you to make it legal for me to rainboom buildings without a permit.

"...Several questions-"

>No time! Just sign it into law real quick!

"Several sad things I need to tell you-"

>Stop talking and just sign it!

"I can sign whatever I want, it's not going to-"

>Then sign it!

"I feel like you're not listening to-"

>Sign sign sign!

"...Okay, fine. Signed."

>YES! Knew I could count on you!

ZOOM!

"....I don't even feel bad for that one, hopefully her seeing what I wrote down will be punishment enough."
>>
>>27598140
>It's just a picture of dickbutt

Please be true please be true please be true
>>
>>27598207
I almost snorted coffee through my nose you ass!
>>
>>27598140
Somewhere, someone is dead, and there is a body that needs buried.

She should really question things more often
>>
>>27597850
Huh. Is she upset she lost, or does she actually feel remorse for what she did?
>>
>AJ
"Chrysalis"
'Cadence'
~~~~

>HA HA! She's busy!

'You do realize there will, presumably, be a point where she is not busy, right?'

>...Did not think that one through.

"HAH!"

>Ah'm gettin' this from the queen of never thinkin' things through?

"That would actually be Celestia, I would think. Not a Queen specifically, as she's not badass enough to actually warrant being called a Queen, but in general. How many times has she actually thought through who she sends to save the day?"

>How many times ain't it worked, versus how many times yer' plans worked?

"...We are enemies again."

'Now just sit down and wait, this will be good for all of us! The minute Auntie Celly is done talking to that criminal, we're going to set up a super special dignitary meeting for training! You're both going to be political wiz kids before this is over!'

"I would like to remind I am actually good at politics, just uh... short term ones."

>And Ah' would like ta' remind Ah'm not changin' a thing and what happens is yer' fault.

'Nonsense, you'll both be fine!'

"We're going to start a war, aren't we?"

>Eeeeyup.

"I call dibs on riding whatever Twilight makes to fight it into battle."

>Oh come on!
>>
>>27598982
>Bringing Celly into the banter.

Yes!
>>
>>27598982
Dunno why but that last part reminded me of the avengers, specifically that scene with Loki and Stark, something like,

"I've got a Juggernaut Mach 6.2. What've you got, appleass?"

>Ah've got a Centitrain.
>>
>>27599127
Celestia is not going to really add much to this but a way for AJ to continue to blameshift and turn the tables. Which, while fun, is not productive for applehorse.

Then again the bit here changed from 'Cadence can into ecopolitical situations' to 'no matter what, Chrysalis can't stop being creepy and AJ is her way or no way'. So Celestia can be a good straight man for that.
>>
>Guard
"Guard 2"
~~~

>...How did we get this job, again?

"I think I may have wolfwhistled at sub-commander Daw."

>She's not official.

"I have found no evidence to support that. You?"

>I might've gotten drunk and peed in the breakroom sink.

"...That seems way worse than I did."

>The captain isn't shagging the sink.

"Got me there. So... what does it eat anyway?'

~SCREEEEEEEE!~

>...

"...FUCK THIS!"

Cenitrain watched them go, and just barely managed not to sigh.

She really wished she could just open the giant bag of beetles herself...
>>
>>27599405
WHERE WERE YOU WHEN CHITTY ATTACKED!?
>>
>>27599597
not around because thanks to infusions the electricity is not needed and the bulk was easily countered by normal Chitty, so would have been useless.

That and someone has to let her out, so blame the two putzes watching her.
>>
>>27599597
She got her ass kicked when Chitty was normal sized.

You want to know where she was?

>SCREEEE... OH HELL NO!
>>
>Cantie
"Cantie 2"
~~~

>Did everyone just go fucking crazy?

"Yes. It happened. We all snapped because of the constant battles and threats to our survival, you're just the last one to notice."

>Phew!

"...that is not the response I wanted."

>I'm just saying, now I can do this and not feel bad!

BLAM BLAM BLAM!

>YEEEHHAAAWW!

"GAH! Why the fuck are you shooting a gun into the air!?"

>Because we all done gon crazy, woohoo!

"I was being sarcastic!"

>Oh...

"..."

>...Want to join me?

"...yes."
>>
>>27599783
Sooo is the plan still to evict all of them, replace them with nicer better ponies and pretend the original ones never existed?
>>
>>27599940
Nope.

It's to make them better, by finally knocking them off their high horse and taking down their preconceived notions about superiority or hate, but also understanding their legitimate problems and addressing them. Making them better not through force or simply making them leave, but by helping them with their problems, and not dismissing them just because they're 'snooty' or 'too rich to care about'

Cause fixing it is better.
>>
>>27600007
Good. I hated that other plan.
>>
>>27599940
this
>>27600007
and the fact we tried that with the guard and it lasted about four or five threads before every guard Pommel doesn't know was back to being a dick. Compare the guys who were overjoyed about locking up Trixie vs the ones who interacted with the Changelings back during Christmas.
>>
>>27600127
>and the fact we tried that with the guard and it lasted about four or five threads before every guard Pommel doesn't know was back to being a dick.

???

They've been pretty much nice guys since then, and including the sideguard's arc extremely effective. You can't even really call the guys dealing with Trixie dicks, they thought she wrecked a hospital, and they know she once took over a town. you don't even get shit from them to the changelings anymore, nobody acted like a dick to 13 post Chitty smashing even.

Seriously, when have the guards been dicks?
>>
>>27600007
As long as it's not one of those "I'm gonna make things worse before it gets better" plot lines, go nuts.
>>
>Jet
“Spike”
~~~

>You know, far be it from me to be a pessimist buuuut….

“Speak your mind, Jet, what’s on your chest?”

>The suffocating sensation that this is going to end in nothing but tears. Our tears.

“Well, two friends crying together is better than crying alone, right?”

>I don’t think I like that analogy.

“Yeah, didn’t really tickle me coming out, I’ll admit that.”

They had to wonder just when it had clicked, came to life like it had. They remembered being led by Celestia, following her ethereal tail very closely… and then there was a glitch of sorts, like reality itself had hit a snag and fragmented, and then there was no more room.

Only great reaching plains, plains of sweetly smelling green grass that caused the gears in both Jet and Spike’s heads to grind to a confusing halt.

“…Don’t suppose you were watching where the princess was leading us, eh?”

>Noooot really? I mean, she was leading, and she’s good at that, leading things. Besides, when being led by one of such upstanding royalty, all one need do is put their trust in-

“She has a great butt, Jet, you can say it. Not to sound like my bro Fifty-Six but she does, and it’s okay to get distracted by it once in awhile."

>LIES!

“Unnecessarily loud-”

>LIES AND SLANDER AND IT’S NOT TRUE I WOULD NEVER GAZE AT MY PRINCESS LIKE THAT!

“…You done yet, man?”

>For the moment. Is this that mystical box of simulation I’ve heard so much about?

“You mean the augmented reality… bending… photons… thing? Screw it, the fakebox?”

>I highly doubt it’s called the fakebo-

“It is now. Anyway, you’re asking if we’re in the fakebox? Yeah, I think so, sure feels like it.”

>Been here before, have you?

Even before he spoke, there was something telling about the way Spike glanced around, like he was seeing things only he could fathom. And then he smiled.

“Once or twice, waaaay back when, ya’ know? Good times, good times….”

1/2
>>
>>27600433

>Normally, one doesn’t look like they just swallowed a dire slug when reminiscing of the good times….

“Oh, what? Noooo, no, no, no, they really were good times! Really! Totally….”

>Your right eye’s twitching.

“Muscle spasm. It’ll pass. ‘Sides, this? This right here feels… so different, compared to back then. Way less hostile. Almost feels like a complete one-eighty, all tranquil and stuff.”

>There’s no hiding that metallic undertone, the presence of science, of being watched from far away. As stunningly lifelike as this is, because I could swear I smell bread baking somewhere, it shouldn’t be that hard to separate reality from simulation.

“Ha, you’d be surprised….”

>But speaking of separation… how exactly do we get out of here?

“Normally you’re not let out until someone either manually does it, or you meet the requirement for entering in the first place.”

>It has to be the former, then.

“How d’ya figure?”

>Because my queen wouldn’t just stick us in here without telling us why.

‘Oh, wouldn’t I?’

Neither Spike or Jetset jumped when that voice, so pleasantly familiar yet filled with teasing mirth, seemed to echo from everywhere, all at once.

Spike couldn’t help but laugh when Jetset grimaced.

“As you were saying, Jet?”

>Shut up. Just… shut up.

2/2

Celestia is still free to use if ya need.
>>
>>27600450
Curious, yet cautious...
>>
Right so Assassin Anon here, we're in the home stretch of this side bit but I ran into a teensy roadblock:

I got no clue what fittingly illegal thing should be in that damn cellar. Guns don't seem to be all that regulated in Equestria, drugs would require some figuring out as to what exactly they'd be (unless cocaine just exists in this world...which honestly it might), mares being trafficked would be derivative of the 29/Sideguard thing only this time it's like five Italian stereotypes with grease guns vs the full might of the guard with Peacetrotters. I did have an idea for them to be trying to brew their own kind of infusion down there to undercut PD, but that would require someone who knew how to make them and while I did have an idea on that as well it'd kick the legs out if literally anyone had designs on that doctor dude and his weird mutant pseudo changeling wife.

So I leave it to the consensus, what should be down the crimehole?

All of the above is a valid answer if you want full absurdity and to probably collectively break the Guards' minds.
>>
>>27600686
Hrm... actually? It would work best if it was something unique, something that actually had been having an effect on the place for a while. In order for the joke really to land, but still be a unique enough thing that it seems serious, we kind of have to toe the line between absurdity, because this is a magical Realm which while it does have a lot of the real world problems it has them through a absurdist and magical. For this, you would want something that seems serious, but still takes people back and it allows them to laugh at it. If it has a real world counterpart it also will fit.

My proposal?

Counterfeit sugar, which they have been selling to all the highest bakeries, that carry with it serious health risks and has been undercutting or threatening out of business the law abiding Growers.
>>
>>27600755
I should note this is going to lead to tieing up that Baltimare thread by having whatever it is either coming from or being sent to the city in question. I'm hurling myself on that grenade for the good of the thread, I just needed an actual reason for someone to go there to investigate beyond 'Hooker friend of an enemy of the state said it was bad'.
>>
>>27600686
Drugs would work best, as a counterfeit infusions surprisingly wouldn't actually be that bad, because they are new and those are not regulated. Like, this would be big to PD, as far as Prosecuting them goes there's no law against making something like this. They could have done it legitimately and they wouldn't have needed to cover anything. In fact, it actually would fall more into a trademark or copyright infringement than a criminal one. So, I'd say drugs would be the best idea for the story. as its relatable, you can make up something funny for what it does, and it addresses something AJ can deal with.
>>
>>27600755
>they've been making aspertain to replace sugar the whole time
OH MY GOD
IT'S TRUE EVIL
>>
>>27600769
Well the hooker never said it was bad to AJ, we the audience only know what she was talking about thanks to us knowing where she came from, but I see your point.

That said, that fact actually makes my proposal more like the real-life equivalent, as the olive oil trade is quite bloody and mostly about importing and exporting all over the world, Baltimare being a coastal town really helps that out considering they don't have mass of air travel.

Yes, olive oil. It's seriously the biggest cause of mob violence in the world and prevent most of us from ever actually getting true virgin olive oil.
>>
>>27600755
...huh, you know? That would actually be pretty funny, and free of the whole drama drama drama stuff of actually trying to introduce a real world problem.

I like it a lot better than drugs or human trafficking
>>
>>27600797
Ok. You fucking win.

That is...that is too goddamned hilarious not to do. Just for the record, what exactly is harmful about counterfeit sugar? I mean it'd probably get Celly's dander up considering it'd probably be keeping her subjects from knowing the true joys of cake that she has experienced, but to save me some research and give everyone Celly and Luna back quicker, what would does it do?
>>
>>27600836
The equivalent of the olive oil trade mostly has the danger being from the fake stuff they make having chemicals in the that, while it gives the taste, are dangerous to consume, and a lot that have been outright banned because they cause cancer. They outright lie about what is inside them, and then go after the actual Growers to keep the supply Limited so that they hold all the cards when it comes to marketing it.

Fake sugar? Give it the same principal, but hey, magic. Say they are making it by a magical something-or-other that's outright banned because it causes some horrible side effect if consumed too much, or it has a long-term effect on older folks that wouldn't be noticeable right away, or just have it be something silly. Fake sugar can be cut together with pretty much anything white and powdery, so hey, maybe have it so that they are the first ones who discovered cocaine, and they are cutting it with the sugar without actually knowing what it does. But since it doesn't have any use and seems dangerous, they can sell it for super cheap. And so long as they keep the actual people growing it under their thumbs, they can essentially own the market through intimidation and undecutting prices, like in real life. Or go to the real world route of having them sell tainted sugar after dousing it with banned chemiclas, like some companies do in real life.


The principal is there, just have fun with whatever direction fits, it can go a LOT of ways.
>>
>>27600755
Oh god yes.

Cells reaction will be legendary.
>>
>>27600905
You got it, I'll have this out by tomorrow.

Hopefully this guy's punishment will be bad enough without it going over the top. Also I hope I've included Luna enough here.

Also point of order, I'm pretty sure Sweet Note talked about how crappy her home was to AJ, and Aj found out it was Baltimare later. I specifically know Pommel was given an earful about it.
>>
>>27601086
AJ never learned what city she was talking about or where she came from. Pom did, but that was only because he also came from there. By the time he learned it though, AJ was already on her vacation and long gone, and never came up post that.

She has zero idea it was that City, and that was kind of the point.
>>
Goodnight thread
>>
>>27601698
Morning!
>>
HIRO KILL YOURSELF AND LIVESTREAM IT
>>
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Alpha]
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and we have monster owned loli/shota farms!

'Okay, seriously. We're going to have to beat up kids. Don't bother to hold back.'

"I don't...I don't feel comfortable with that."

>I don't think we're going to get that choice. We just need to hold out until Luna can sortie enough night guards to handle this.

"But there's so many of them."

'Yep...we'll try to save some for Luna.'

A Dream Eater, who's distinguished by a gold band on her trunk, steps forward.
[You made us lose some crops. You're quite troublesome.]

>That sounds like us. This pink posse likes to get into trouble.

[Ahh, you're in deep trouble this time then because you're going to be part of the feast.]

>Oh, what are we having doc?

[Hahaha...YOU!]

>I was afraid of that.

And like that, a thundering force of hunger and the indoctrinated come crashing towards 3 pink ponies with full intent of turning them into a meal...
'FIERCE ROCKETS'

"DETERMINED ARROWS!"

>PRODUCT PLACEMENT CANNON!

Only they won't be an easy meal.

>Battle song please!
Hey hey life in the dreamfarm~
>>
>>27602612
Yea! Beat up those kids! Kickem in the ass

Wait...
>>
>>27600686
Don't forget they also firebombed all the other pizza places in canterlot.
>>
>>27602537
Yeah, that outage was fun
>>
>>27602952
I have no qualms with this line of thinking.

Fuck kids
>>
a part of me thinks a lot of things could have been solved if sunset didn't quit smoking while dead.
>>
>AJ
"Chrysalis"
'Cadence'
~~~~

>Ya' know, while we're on the subject of trainin' fer' politics...

'Yeeesss?'

"I feel like my day is about to get a lot brighter."

>Now, promise ya' ain't gonna laugh.

"Confirmed!"

>Ah'm serious here, ya' can't laugh at me, no matter what'cha think!

'Applejack, of course not! If it's involved with bettering you ability to provide ties between nations, why would I ever mock it? No matter how silly or inconsequential it seems, not matter how crazy it sounds, nothing could ever make me believe it is anything less than completely valid. All things, no matter how small, matter when it comes to politics, as you'll soon find out! Now I can't make promises for a certain SOMEBODY!'

"I'm mentally recording this, fyi."

'I would like to point out I can make her sleep with the rest of the changelings if she acts up. I have that power.'

"YOU MONSTER!"

>...Fine. Look, it's just...

'Yeesss?'

>Okay, none of ya'll were around, so you wouldn't know this, but when Celestia first came down ta' Ponyville, we had a dinner party and... well, Ah'm just not sure where ya' start when it comes ta' eatin' like that. Do Ah' pick up a fork? Start with the farthest dish? What's the deal there?

'...'

"..."

>...Guys? Ya'... ya' got this weird look on yer' faces, what's the deal-

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

'AHHHHHHHHHH!'

"NOT AGGAAAIIINNNNNN!"

'WE WILL NEVER LEAVE NEVER LEAVE NEVER LEEEEAVE!'

"'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!''

>...Well, ya' ain't screamin', Ah' guess that's a win.

"'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"'
>>
>>27603947
>ain't laughing
FTFY
>>
>>27603947
>AJ in Table Manners

YES

MAKE IT HAPPEN
>>
>SA
"Pinkie"
~???~
~~~

>...This is supposed to be the hottest club in Manehatten?

"Yeah, isn't it great?"

>Okay, first off, this is directly above an abandoned and decrepit building, with raccoons. I saw raccoons down there.

"That just makes it better by comparison!"

>Second, it's the top floor of a building, this cannot be safe.

"Danger adds to the thrills!"

>Third, that is a small dancefloor.

"You mean exclusive!"

>Fourth, there's a grand total of one bouncer there.

"All you need, baby!'

>Fifth... I count, like, three ponies out there. One of whom looks freakishly like you with a weird hairdo.

"Like I said, exclusive! Doesn't get more exclusive than the minimum amount of ponies it takes to get a piano up the stairs!"

>Fifth... okay, what the fuck!? Is that bouncer seriously not letting us onto the dance floor!?

"Exclusive, Shiny!"

>You've saved the world umpteen billion times! You're the whole reason that these guys aren't under a tyrannical rule, besieged by insane chaos or DEAD!

"Hey, I didn't do it for the fame."

>They should know who you are!

"I know, sucks they don't, right? But them's the breaks."

>Bigger than that, he's not letting me in there! I'm the damn prince of an entire empire!

"Nobody cares."

>...

"It's true."

>Even still, I-wait, is that a pacifier!?

"Yeah? So?"

>The only possible reason to have a pacifier in a dance club is if you're planning on taking ecstasy so that you don't bite your tongue off, she's literally showing this place if full of drugs-

~HE'S ONTO US! CHEESE IT!~

STAMPEDE!
SLAM!

>...

"...how did you know about the pacifier thing?"

>...

"Shiny?"

>...

"Shiiiiinnnyyyy?"

>This was not worth the train ticket.
>>
>>27604243
I knew Shiny was a wild motherfucker in his youth.
>>
>29
"MM"
'Zecora'
~???~
~~~~

>Alright, that's it! Our partner in the crime that is life hath dallied too long, and no more can I stand it!

"She has been gone a weirdly long time, where do you suppose she went?'

'Not to deride her or consider her problems useless bulk, but she was upset and perhaps went off to sulk?'

>If so, then I bring my ire! Even as I toiled away doing mine tasks so great-

"AKA mostly busywork anyone could do."

>-Never did I go off and make a show of my pain!

"Except for the multiple times you went into the crying corner and bugged changelings until they asked you what your problem was."

>Nay! I suffered as all should, in silence!

"Loud, loud silence."

>For her to do any less is a sign that mayhaps she still has much left to learn!

"You two hanging out makes way more sense now than it did yesterday."

'Marey, do not chide our friends again. Not that he doesn't deserve it, but at this rate his head will spin. Instead, let us go our, and search for our friend of magic and of ego. Maybe we will find her doing something useful, no one will truly ever know.'

>Ah, yes. Perhaps I have been too hasty, too quick. Tis possible she is bettering herself. Why, a chance so great is that she is out there this very moment, bringing joy and happiness to children! Perhaps, as we slack, she is sending a great many to the happy place, where they will be filled with joy. Perhaps, just perhaps, I was wrong-

~Are you "Twenty Nine?~

>GAH!... Damned guard, how did thou sneak up on me!?

~You were so loud, an elephant could have managed it.~

>Racist!

~...~

>Sorry, reflex. Thou were saying?

~The annoying asshole down in the prison wants you to tell the mayor of Ponyville to let her out.~

>...prison?

"Er, why didn't you just tell me?"

~Why would I do that? Do you know her?

"..."

'Dick.'

"Niney? Is that Crying Corner still available?"

~Her name, as she keeps reminding us, is-~

>Fairly certain I know which one, thank thee.

~....Well?~

>FUUUUUUUUUU-
>>
>>27604065
Ah shit did it die again
>>
>>27604587
Did what die again?
>>
>Cloudchaser
"Derpy"
'Octavia'
~~~~

>...I have several questions.

'AHHHHHHHH!'

"What's up, CC?"

'AHHHHHHHH!'

>You're not going to believe this, I just say the weirdest thing.

'AHHHHHHH!'

"Is it related to the screaming?"

>Yeah, pretty much. I think she's trying to distract me.

'WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?'

>No no, don't make this about me. See? She is trying to throw me off.

"Sounds like it."

'THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?'

>See? More deflection, I just don't get it. What does she think I'm going to do, just ignore this? You, madam, you fool no one.

'GET AWAY FROM ME!'

>Me? Excuse me, I'm not the one who should be moving.

"You think she means me?"

>Entirely possible.

'OUT OUT OUT OUT!'

>Please, indoor voice.

'GET OUT OF HERE!'

>I will, I swear it, just tell me... are you seriously making tea in the shower? That is so dangerous. You could seriously slip and scald yourself.

'Normal ponies do this, thank you! Not that you'd know!'

"WHOA! Gonna go right there? That's mean!"

>Right? Here I am looking out for her safety, warning her of possible danger, and she's insulting me.

"Safety is important!"

>So sad not everyone understands this.

'AHHHHHHHHHHhhhh...'

>Don't run on wet floors! You can slip-

SLAM!

>Typical.

"...So now that she's gone-"

>Start pulling, we have to dislodge my head and patch up the hole in her ceiling before the guard get here, that way they'll never know.

"But what about anyone who can see-"

>THEY WILL NEVER PROVE IT!
>>
>>27604508
Does Equestria have bail?

If so, that's going to cost him.
>>
>>27604817
>Octavia is maiking tea in the shower
>She is the least crazy pony in the room

That takes real effort.
>>
>>27603786
...explain. I am morbidly curious.
>>
>>27605104
Applejack told her to get a vice
she became a smoker for like a week until she died, then she gave it up because... reasons
>>
>>27605155
She gave it up post-death because she couldn't feel it anymore, it wasn't hurting her(as her lungs didn't work properly enough to let it sink in) and it wasn't making her feel better(as those same effects prevented any nicotine stuff from reaching her brain)

Post death, she would've essentially been breathing weird and bothering everyone for no reason.
>>
>Daisy
"Roseluck"
'???'
~~~

>The horror! THE HORROR!

"What happened now? Bee fly by and spook you? A rabbit looked at you menacingly? Spilled the chocolate milk... again?"

>No! Worse than all of that!

"Not an accomplishment."

>Someone cut down all my flowers!

"Oh. That actually is bad. Who would have done this?"

>I don't know, but it gets worse!

"That's actually worrying now."

>Someone broke into my house and smashed all of my pots! All of them!

"That's actually really bad, yeah, that's breaking and entering and destruction of property, you are not over reacting on this one. But just your pots?"

>Just them! Nothing else!

"Weird... that's weird. Hey, buddy! You seen anything weird going on around here?"

'HEEYAH!'

"Is... is that a no?"

'...'

>You don't have to be rude!

'Huwah!

"Fine, dick! Sorry for messing up your oh so important day!... Jerk."

>Right? Thinks just because he has a cart full of gems he's above us.

"Green hatted twink."

>...what was I doing?

"The horror.'

>Right! THE HORROR!
>>
>>27605462
I was waiting for this
>>
>>27605504
It took me a second, thanks to not remembering that.
>>
>>27605462
>Fluttershy
"???"
~~~

>Um... mister giant pig, I know I said I'm willing to help all animals and protect them whenever they need my help, but um... do you really need help? You have swords. Big swords.

"Look, just trust me on this one, and hide me for a couple weeks. And DON'T put the key to my room an in easily accessible chest. You know what? Just leave the key with me. And any weapons that can hurt me. Just don't, been burned a time or two on that one."

>Oh, okay... would it be rude to point out that I mostly deal with animals and, normally, animals don't talk?

"...oink oink?"

>You can't put that fairy back in the bottle, sir.

"OH SHIT, WHERE!? WHERE IS IT!?"

>...

"I mean, oink."
>>
>>27605845
>Twilight
"???"
~~~

"You're sure?"

>Am... am I sure my smarts don't come from a magical triangle?

"Yes, I need to double check this in case there was a... mix up."

>No, no it is not.

"You're sure?"

>...really sure, yes.

"Phew! That's a relief... so, when you go adventuring, who do you pretend to be?"

>Huh? Nobody! I don't need to hide behind a secret identity when I go save the world, I'm a proud princess who is able to contribute to any battle effort on her own! We're long past that point where we need to hide and pretend to be someone else-

"So what about Mare Do Well?"

>WE DON'T FUCKING TALK ABOUT THAT! EVER! EEEVVVEERRRR!
>>
>>27605945
Never forget that time you were a total asshole.
>>
>>27605155
Sunset actually brought cigarettes with her from eqg verse. So she had a vice before she was told to get one.
>>
>>27606108
But dash deserved it though.
>>
>>27606151
For being a cocky asshole who sung her own praises and thought she was hot stuff.

You know, like the assholes who all jerked off the parts of Mare Do Well they just so HAPPENED to have done themselves!

Fucking hypocrites.
>>
>Sweet Note
"Chitania"
~~~~

>Chitty? Can I ask about the rock?

"No."

>You, uh, you sure? Because it has googly eyes-

"Do not ask."

>I'm just kind of curious-

"DO. NOT."

>...

"..."

>...So, weather's nice-

"Don't."

>Awww.
>>
>>27606327
Where did she get the Googly eyes?
>>
>>27606388
Nobody knows.
>>
>>27606388
Occasionally, when it's needed most, someone can channel Pinkie Power.

Not often, never intentionally, but it can be done.
>>
>42
"32"
~~~

>For the record, if you injure yourself again, I will hurt you. Repeatedly, and with gusto. I have no qualms with keeping you in the bed with eternally broken legs.

The other changeling's fear, if he had any to show at all, was firmly disguised beneath am egotistical smirk. As if to mock the one watching his every move, he stretched out his hind leg nice and slow, letting all the kinks pop on his back as he leaned forwards on unsteady hooves.

"I'm well enough to walk, and this will speed up my recovery, thank you."

>I fail to see how movement of a wound makes it easier to heal.

"The bullet hole is closed up, you know. I've you to thank for that."

The other changeling scoffed, rolling her eyes.

>Technically, you have my benefactor Shining Armor to thank for it.

"Well! I shall certainly have to give him my thanks... in a great many ways."

The eyebrow waggle did not have the desired effect on the solider. If anything, it had the exact opposite. The smirk was nothing like he was expecting.

>By all means, give it a try. It will be quite amusing to watch him erect a barrier to keep you out for all time, like he did Twenty Nine.

"Ha! You said erect."

>Yes, I did. Because that's what it means in this context. If you wanted a different definition, too bad.

She had gotten better, he noticed.

>But, I suppose there is a silver lining to this. If you are well enough to stand and walk you are well enough you no longer require a solider of my level to guard you, I will assign someone else to be your bodyguard in the meanwhile.

"Shirking your duty? That's not at all like you."

>It's called delegation of appropriate forces.

Strangely, instead of a look of offense, he smiled.

"Well, far be it from me to question your wisdom."

>Yes, do not do that. However, if you feel a future threat will require someone of my stature, you may submit a comment. I will take it under consideration.

1/2
>>
>>27606899

Her skin may have been solid and pitch black, but sometimes she couldn't be more transparent.

"No no, you've got your own duties to attend to, I'm sure whoever you assign will be more than capable of protecting me."

>Correct, I've no intention of looking bad by having something happen to you do to neglect by one I assign, they will perform well or they will not perform at all.

"That's the spirit!"

>I will return in under five minutes with your new guard, remain in this sealed area until such time. It is well fortified and protected, and the guard should be making a round for the duration after I leave, you will be fine until I return.

"Five minutes? A little fast, don't you think? You think you can make it to the empire and back in no time at all?"

This time, it was her turn to smirk.

>...Thirty Two?

"Yes?"

>Your recovery will not be long now, so heed this before you return to your station. If you need a recharge to perform your duties without fear, I suppose we can find the resources to spare it, on occasion. It's a dangerous world, after all.

"...that it is."

>I will be watching, in the future, do not make me intervene. We have so precious few left, after all, it would be a shame to waste any one of them... including you.

Before his very eyes, the fire consumed her, and in a flash of light and magic, she was gone.

"...Goodbye, Forty Two."

He didn't know why, his side was still killing him after all, but something he couldn't explain brought a smile to his face.

A real one, rare as it was beautiful.

"Hurry back to your family... I'm sure they miss you so."
>>
>>27606906
Dawww, nice to see them getting along.
>>
>>27606388
Better question... how'd she glue them on?
>>
>>27607657
Teensy globules of greenspit?
>>
>>27607657
She just punched them onto the rock.

They knew better than to let go.
>>
>>27606388
NC
>Faust
"Craig"
~~

>Okay, when I made the eyes move and made the rock talk, I kinda figured she would... like, freak out or something.

"Actually seems to have just rolled with it, didn't she?"

>Right? The fuck is wrong with her?

"You think you went too far?"

>Did she drink a gallon of bleach?

"No?"

>THEN I DID NOT GO FAR ENOUGH!
>>
>>27608039
>She drinks bleach
>It just gives her a bit of a stomach ache.
>Faust rages in the sky
>>
>Sunset
"Chitania"
'Sweet Note'
~~~~~~

The disguise that she wore was, by far, the best she had ever been enshrouded within. The Titan tried not to think too much about the fact it had been a pony who had made it.

Sunset was quickly proving herself quite able and apt with the changeling magic that was granted t her, at a rate the Titan found, if nothing else, worrying.

'Woowww!'

One of them, at least, was having fun with it. The now bright blue 'unicorn' of the group was quick to admire herself, and her newest appendages. The information that the thing was purely cosmetic had not dampened the spirit of the mare in the least, she was far too caught up in admiring herself to notice. She turned a mirror this way and that, frequently running a hoof through her now sharp silver mane and striking a veritable catalog of poses in front of it.

>Because this isn't suspicious behavior.

In stark contrast, the 'pegasi' of the group had not stopped grousing this entire time, her red fur and mane matching her inner feelings so perfectly it had to be subconscious at the bare minimum. She had not stopped being grumpy yet, and considering her current streak that was not soon to change.

So it fell on herself, the current earth Pony who had once been a proud Queen changeling, to ask the bluntly obvious.

"Where are we going, anyway?"

It got the same response the last few times it had been asked, but she never was one to give up when someone grew annoyed at her.

"It's important, Sunset, where are we going?"

Be it through having had enough, or finally feeling safe enough she felt she could discuss it, a sigh signaled she at last gave in.

>I have no idea.

'WHAT!?'

A swift tap, thankfully forward thinking enough t aim for the shoulder rather than her still obviously badly wounded head, silenced the mare.

"What she means is, elaborate."

The prodigy groaned, her shoulders roughly shrugging.

>It's what I said it is, I have no idea... yet.

1/3
>>
>>27608878

A bit of magic, one she was keen to mask by making the disguised mare's horn glow in case someone peered in at an inopportune time, summoned up a map before them. The grand land of Equestria, laid out and glowing before them all.

>There are several locations we could use, but right now the concern is hiding, but also having access to a lot of materials for our future project. We can't make you stronger if we're locked in some backwards ass town, but we also run a big risk if we go to one of the bigger and more influential cities. They're looking for us, they're going to notice things are missing when we take them, and they're going to come for us.

On any other day, the Titan would have challenged them to even try.

The throbbing pain and fact her head felt as if it had lead strapped to it silenced that.

"Then we need to at the very least be in an area I can drain enough to defeat them, should it arise."

>It's not so simple. There's no question, with the current corroboration between Cadence and Queen Chrysalis, they've almost certainly found a way to ensure that if someone is drained, they know about it. They'll find us quicker if we go too fast to get you back to a hundred percent.

"At least we will have the advantage of surprise."

>Which takes out one, maybe two of them, maximum. But do I need to remind you there are a bakers dozen of Princesses just waiting to try their luck? And, as we got to see first hoof, even the weakest of them have... surprises.

Even now, the ringing in her ears from that blast kept any argument of the Titan's silent.

"Fair enough. So-"

>So we need a place that is discreet, has a lot of traffic, and won't notice a bunch of ponies having... accidents. We need-

'OH! OH! OH OH OHHHH! HEY!'

She tried not to give Sweet Note the satisfaction of hearing her moan in pain when she raise her hoof.

She failed.

>Somewhere you did not come from, and they would immediately go to. I thought that was obvious.

2/3
>>
>>27608888

'No, silly, I don't never want to go back to there anyway! That's just dumb! But that ain't all I got!'

"I thought you said you never left Baltimare?"

Sweet Note tried, and quite spectacularly failed, to keep the look of elated shock from her face at the fact Chitania had listened to at least one thing she said.

'R-right! Well... yeah, mostly right, but not right right! Cause while I ain't never been outta that place before then, that don't mean I don't know bout other spots!'

The biting comment that Sunset was clearly forming would never come to be, the Titan beat her to it.

"Very well. Do you have an area that fits our criteria?"

'Yep!'

"And that place would be?"

'Right there!'

To anyone else, it would have looked like she was just randomly pointing.

To the Titan and Unicorn, it meant so much more.

>...isn't that-

'Yep!'

"And aren't they-"

'Uh huh!'

>...So you want us to walk into a place like that-

'No guards anywhere nearby, not even close, and they get all the best stuff, Slippy bragged about it all the time! And ain't nobody gonna raise a fuss if some ponies don't get spotted, they vanish all the time round there! It's perfect!'

To anyone else, the mare would have been locked up. She would have been put away for the insanity she was proposing, and not a one would question the choice.

But the pair did not cast her aside, they did not assume her head wound had taken it's toll, nothing of the sort.

Instead...

>...you think you're up for it?

"Mmmm... it will be a good way to stretch my legs again."

They smiled.

The cloud that had hung over them both had parted, and they smiled truly again.

>This... is going to be fun.
>>
>>27608896

Iiiinteresting
>>
goodnight, thread.
>>
>>27609540
And to you, anon.
>>
>>27608896
So... what is it? Partyland's Crashsite? A Drug Den? Castle of the Two Sisters? Lavan valley? Canterlot Mines? The former Fawntaine Lab? Glimmers town of Equality?

We have plenty of horrible places for them to be at. And none of them bode good news for everyone else.
>>
I am not looking forward to whatever it is Sunset is planning

Probably because it's the League of Evil or whatever pointlessly being evil because Sunset has gone completely off her rocker, and their going to gear up Chitania for more smashy smashy and FOR GOD'S SAKE WE'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS ALREADY
>>
>>27610582
I wanted to write a bit of introspection on her part on why she does what she does and what her motivations are. While doing so, I realized I'd have to look really deep into the mind of someone who is either a) a broken bird or b) irredeemably evil. Both is neither fun to read nor to write.

So... uh...

I've got nothing. She's gone off the deep end, and the magic of friendship failed to catch her in time. My best hope is that she will find friendship with the unwanted/despised/feared which are Chitania, 29, 32, Variolus' daughter, Sweet Note and so on.
>>
>>27610916
She's obviously not irredeemable yet.
>>
>>27610916
>Variolus' daughter
Not officially real or anything... yet.
>>
>>27610916
I'm sure you can give it a nice ending sure.

But if it goes into "big monster Chitania fight scene"

Fffffffuck man I'm just tired of them, almost cliche and one-note.

Can we have a resolution without the egregious mash-up
>>
>>27611720
None of Chittys fights have been in the same location, had the same characters, or even have the same resolution, so calling it one note she is a little insincere, and that's not what cliche means at all.

That said, fuck that, we had Chitty get knocked down hard, it would be terrible if we didn't even give it a proper resolution of a follow-up fight. Sure, I agree if it happens it needs to be an escalation instead of a repeat, but no way are we just having them talk about it. That would be boring, and actually cliche considering the base show.
>>
>>27612152
Chitty gotta get her win back, brother.
>>
>Celestia
"Luna"
'Tubbs'
-Pommel-

>Now, Mr. Canoli, I'm sure you understand the severity of your crimes by now, so we will not belabor the point on your punishment-

'Please don't kill me!'

>We're not going to kill you.

'Phew...'

>Well *We*, it'd be up to someone else altogether.

'...what?'

>If you refuse to come clean, I've decided to hand you over to the primary authorities of your victim.

"Meaning Queen Chrysalis."

>Now she's far less of a villain than most would have you believe, but I know I'd be far less than forgiving of someone who knowingly did such damage to one of my own ponies so-

'THE PALAMINO FAMILY!'

>...

-Wow, you just came right out with that, huh buddy?-

~Faster than the captain on date night with his lady.~

-...Buckler, I'm right here.-

~Sorry I heard Fuzzy and Buzz make that joke and I've been dying to use it...y'know I think I actually told it wrong, can I try agai- ~

>...

~Shuttingup.~

"We're sorry, forgive us if we're wrong. The Palaminos of Neightaly?"

'Yes.'

"Hm, the last we'd heard of them, they were mere merchants, why would they hire a thug such as yourself?"

>Things change in a thousand years, I'm afraid, Luna. These Palaminos are criminals, though very good at hiding it under a legal veneer. Cart dealerships...

-Casinos.-

~Pizza shops.~

>...

-Oh...son of a BITCH! I KNOW YOU NOW!-

~SO DO I!~

"Elaborate, you nonsensical Sentries!"

-YOU'RE THE DELIVERY GUY FOR PALAMINO BROS.!-

~Dude, I was JUST there a few hours ago! They were keeping folks away and refusing help cleaning up!~

>Well, we've the Who and the Where. But we need the What and the Why. Mr. Canoli?

'Y-yeah, they're right. I worked at the pizza joint, that's uh...that's how I knew I had to hit a changeling.'

"Beg pardon?"

1/?
>>
>>27612219
'Well I mean, come on. Every time things go wrong around here, there's a changeling at the center of it. It means the guard gets on edge and the bugs get testy and those other two-the apple lady and the changeling queen-get into a fight and it's just...y'know...the best cover if you want something kept hidden.'

>And that something is?

'...our cellar it's got some...contraband, very very illegal and dangerous contraband.'

~...motherfucker you BETTER not be telling me your pizza causes cancer.~

'Wha? No! Not the pizza, NEVER the pizza, Chef is very insistent on that. No it's...sugar.'

>Sugar?

"-Sugar?-"

~...ohhh honey honey, you are my-~

-You're getting demoted.-

~I'm a private!~

-You'll be a janitor!-

'Yeah, sugar, fake sugar. We get 'em from our headquarters on the coast, who get them from back in Sicileek. Mostly we're just a way-station between the headquarters and our customers in Las Pegasus and the like but we have a side business here too. Hell, the sugar on that restaurant that got blown up's churros came from us.'

-I...is this even illegal?-

'Well...the stuff we cut the actual sugar with is a kinda powder our guys back home enchant to taste like sugar. I mean it behaves about the same when you cook with it so nobody really can tell the difference, but problem is having something juiced up on magic to the point where it tricks your mind into thinking it's sugar running through your system-'

>Is a quick way to throw one's biology out of balance.

'Yeah, I mean the Palamino Family isn't exactly interested in testing the medical bits but you hear stuff...makes ya irritable, erratic, just a sour no-good bastard really.'

~Soooo you sell a lot in Manehattan, is what you're saying.~

'Yes, why?'

~Noooo reason.~

"Well, at least now we understand your need for a distraction."

2/3
>>
>>27612229
>You and your cronies have been giving my ponies POISON!

-And you shot my friend to cover it up!

"With the intent to plunge us into even more civil strife with the changelings!"

~And I mean, come on, you're the only pizza joint in town that DIDN'T burn down suspiciously?~

>"-...-"

~What? I thought we weren't investigating because the pizza was so good.~

>"-...-"

'I think they want you to shut up.'

~Doing that!~

'But yeah, uh, that too, though I didn't do that personally.'

>Very well. Captain?

-On it. Buckler, go round up some Peacetrotters, I'll get some more guards. These bastards are going down.-

"And as for you, Tubbs Canoli, have you any last words?"

'I-I uh...'

>Know that after your confession, we'll be holding the pronouncement of the sentence until your cronies are rounded up.

'R-right just...please...'

>Yes?

'When you get them, there's gonna be a guy, our chef, well we call him Chef. Look that guy, don't put him with anyone else, he's...he's bad news and it won't be pretty.'

>I'll take it under advisement. Take him away!

3/3
>>
>>27612234
...buckler is weirdly funny
>>
>>27612229
Holy shit they are giving them cocaine.

Glorious!
>>
>>27610916
That's silly, Sunset isn't a mustache twirling villain or a poor widdle broken soul, she's a mare who burned up reaching for the sun, and never really got over that nobody she thought she could trust caught, or even seemed to care about, catching her on the way down.

Currently, she has a single thing on her mind, revenge. Revenge not against AJ or Celestia, they're not even worth her time, but the one who caused it all to go so wrong. Who messed up her research and took her one shot at victory, and to prove she was worth giving another chance. Chitania is a means to an end, she knows Chitty for all her faults is far beyond her in power, so increasing her to fight against a god is well within her power, so long as she actually stays in her graces.

Calling her irredeemably evil is naive, at best. Even if she was willing to do irredeemable acts, there's reasons for it, there's justification on her part that she tells herself so that she doesn't think herself a monster.

She still thinks she's the hero of this story, after all.
>>
>SA
"Pinkie"
'???'
~~~

'WHEEEEEEEEEEEE! THIS IS THE BEST!'

>I told you bringing her was a good idea.

"Pfft, you say that about everything."

>I do not! I do not want her anywhere near anything serious... or dangerous... or upsetting... or pretty much anything not happy.

"That's probably not healthy."

>Neither is me punching someone in the face because they upset her.

"That's not healthy at all, no. Though not for the reason you're thinking."

>Bah, it's fine.

"Tell that to a guard."

>I am a guard.

"Was a guard."

>Still am, at heart.

'AUNTIE PINKIE, COME ON! THE ROLLER COASTER IS COMIN' AROUND AGAIN!'

"Oooo~ I'm up to Auntie Pinkie, I'm stealing your child's heart away."

>Bah, nothing can ever take away her Shiny from her.

"You sure about that?"

>One hundred percent.

"Hey! Two! I've got cotten candy!

'Awesome!'

"...that tastes like marchmalleys."

'YOU ARE THE BEST THING EVER AND AH'M GONNA LOVE YOU FER' THE REST OF MY LIIIIIIFFFFFFFEEEEE!'

>...

"Check, and, mate."

>...Can I have some?

"Heh, everybody comes to the Pinkie side eventually."

'GIMME!'
>>
>>27612808
>secret ending unlocked: Pinkie Harem!
>>
>>27610582
>FOR GOD'S SAKE WE'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS ALREADY
Same, I'm so sick of Chitania smashing things. I want us to stop focusing on her already and giving her entire arcs. I like her better when she's doing comedy bits.

>not looking forward to whatever it is Sunset is planning
Sunset has fallen so far from my grace, that I regret including her in my stories.
>>
>Twilight
"Lucky"
~~~

>Come on, you can't want to just be a guard for the rest of your life, move up in the world! Take the promotion! Go somewhere and be somebody!

"I like it in Canterlot."

>But this place gets invaded all the time, destroyed even!

"So, Ponyville doesn't get invaded or wrecked?"

>...Hrmmgmgnn...

"Yeah, sorry. Got family up here, can't leave them all behind."

>You are literally within sight distance! You can see Ponyville from here!

"Still a trainride to and from home. Commuting is out of the question."

>Come onnnnn!

"Nope."

>DAMN!

"For the record, it's not that I don't think Ponyville is a nice place, but seriously-"

>Yeah, I understand, trust me, I understand... all those ponies are crazy.
>>
>>27613205
>Twilight
"???"
~~~

>I realize I'm scraping pretty far down the barrel, but I'm desperate here. Captain of the Guard? Prestige, wealth and respect? Any of this tempting you?

"I'll take it!"

>OH THANK FUCKING FAUST-

"Under one condition!"

>... Fuck. No, I'm not sleeping with you. None of my friends, mentors, sort of friends or sometimes enemies are sleeping with you. None of us are doing any sexual acts of any nature on you, for you, or where you can see them.

"It's not that!"

>Somehow that makes me more worried.

"I'll become your captain under one condition! See, I have this very large debt...

>You'll get a substantial raise.

"That, uh... that's not going to cover it. Was more hoping for like, having that wiped off my record?"

>We can't force someone to forgive a substantial debt.

"Then no deal!'

>...

"Please, he's going to break my legs, probably!'

>...The worst part is, I'm actually considering it...
>>
>>27613336
>Twilight
"SG"
~~

>Any chance you would-

"I'm obligated to ask if I do if I can forgive massive monetary debts."

>...no, the captain of the guard is more about... guarding.

"Guarding against broken legs?"

>Yes? Though you'd think they'd just take you to court.

"Hrm... sorry, buddy! Not worth it!'

~DAAAMN!~

>How do I only know like three of you?
>>
>>27613510
>Twi
"Daw"
~~~

>So would you-

"PFFFTTTTTAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAHAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

>...

"Sorry, that was rude, you were saying?"

>...Would you like to be captain of the guard-

"AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

>Yeahhh...
>>
>>27613561
Can't blame her...
>>
>42
"18"
~~~

>...What the fuck did I miss?

"NEXT!"

>Should... should I do something about this? Is this a takeover? If so... who's side am I on here?

"NEXT!"

>I feel like I should be punching something, but I have no idea what.

"NEXT!"

>... I suppose I could just tell somebody, they'd sort it out.

"NEXT!"

>But at the same time, I don't want to sell out my friend.

"NEXT!"

>...hrm... this is going to take some debate.

"NEXT NEXT NEXT NEXT!"
>>
>>27614192
...Holy shit, I just realized EVERY royal is out doing shit.

Damn it, CE crew, you were supposed to be above this!
>>
>>27614491
Hey, Shiny is busy in a romp with Pinkie and Cadence is schooling AJ and Chrysalis, they got shit to do!
>>
>>27614676
Are you SURE Shining and Pinkie aren't in fact playing "Pound the Pink Pony Plot" offscreen?
>>
>>27614749
He brought Two with him you sick fuck!
>>
>>27614792
EVEN BETTER
>>
>>27610582
So, what will you do instead with the setup?

Say we have Chitania not Smashy-Smashy, what could you do as an alternative to further that plotline without instantly resolving it devoid of all conflict? What, I ask, is your plan for the 'league of evil' should it not involve Sunset or Chitania fighting the others again? What's the end point that you want to create?

>>27611720
>Can we have a resolution without the egregious mash-up

And that would be? Ignoring the "Almost cliche and one note" thing for a second, what's the alternative you want to see happen?
>>
>>27615075
>Sunset, Sweet Note and Chitania go there thing, whatever it is
>Over time they keep hearing about how the Royalty just really wants things to be peaceful and Chitty is COMPLETELY void of charges, even that that annoying magician pone is banged up etc etc
>Throw in some disgruntled ponies who have gripes about this in passing conversation, and some ponies who'd rather it just end cross-ref with ponies who up sticks and left Canterlot cos there's no point staying if the place keeps getting trashed and you might die someday.
>The three ponder this, but Sunset goes "LALALA IT'S ALL A JEWISH TRICK" while slapping a God-Fucker-9000 onto Chitania's hoof
>Continues for a bit, hyping themsleves up for vengeance and all that
>By some circumstance, they come across what technically counts as royalty, either Dash, or Ponk, or Fluttershy, maybe even another changeling for shits and giggles
>They panic but the pony/princess insists they really don't want to fight, doesn't matter, pocket sand/hoof to the face and they skidaddle
>Repeat this process max 3 times, each time, doubt starts creeping in. Affecting each one differently with their own perspectives.
>Sunset still kitting out Chitania with an ACME brand Ethereal Cock Slapper and so on
>Comes to a point where it's TORA TORA TORA or whatever, but just as she's about to slingshot Chitania` onto the Heavenly Fuck Fest, enter someone Very Important, pick and mix who.
>Instead of fighting Chitania, they insist they don't have to resort to violence, even as they're being stomped on by Chitania and a Reee-ing Sunset
>Chitania, however, tires out, and Sunset's magic tries to take over


I don't know what happens next because I'd be pulling some stupid endgame crap.

But overall point is, more "What am I fighting forrrr" and learning not to suspect and plot and scheme and smash wink wink Apple wink Chyrsalis wink wink

And less "CLEGANEBOWL GET HYPE!!!!!!!!" rubbish
>>
>>27615318
I second this. Or at least, something like this. Even if we have a fight, I want it to end with friendship (or at least a peaceful solution). It fits better with the themes of the show and this thread, I feel.
>>
>>27615344
One thing I get from this thread is that it kinda eschews that kinda "frieeeeeeeends" thing and instead big stompy stompy anime godzilla fights.
>>
>>27615318
>>They panic but the pony/princess insists they really don't want to fight, doesn't matter, pocket sand/hoof to the face and they skidaddle

This is the part that's really jumping out at me of being not only OOC but just plain confusing as an action.

Like... unless, Chitty's super-weak and can't fight, why the fuck is she just like 'Ha ha! Now I will flee from(Insert place she's clearly been using to prepare Strap-On-Godfuckedition) and you will instead know where I was and probably use this to track me down! I'm literally going SUB-Cartoon villain with this, not even cartoon villain! Cartoon Villains at least try to fight before they run off! FLEE!'

I mean, fuck, even Sunset went bonkers on Trixie, and that was fucking TRIXIE.
>>
>>27615381
She went bonkers because she had to get Sweet Note the fuck outta dodge. And that wouldn't be as complicated as:

"NO! YOU ARE NOT READY CHITANIA! WE MUST AWAY! AKEKEKEKekekekekeke....."
>>
>>27615318
Not gonna knock you just in case you have some actual plan to do something like this, but this
>Continues for a bit, hyping themsleves up for vengeance and all that
And this
>They panic but the pony/princess insists they really don't want to fight, doesn't matter, pocket sand/hoof to the face and they skidaddle

Don't fit, might want to think of something better than that. These guys aren't team rocket here, they actually are keen to throw down if shit happens. Fuck, Chitty wrecked Fillydelphia just because she got revealed, she's not gonna pocket-sand shit if she stumbles across someone she thinks is out to kill her. Also-

>Chitania, however, tires out, and Sunset's magic tries to take over

I'm not saying don't do this, just think of a reason why this would wear her out, when not only has the story gone on and on about how Chitty's stamina is fucking insane, but we've visibly seen it... a lot.

>>27615366
...That's just plain wrong on every possible level.

Even ignoring the times someone tried talking Chitty down, it still had scenes centered around friendship with her thanks to Sunset musing she actually felt upset someone was hurting Chitty, Sweet Note taking the fall so she could get saved, and 13 protecting Sweet Note when she could. This isn't even getting into the Gwen/PD portions, being saved by DT who they consider a friend, the begrudging teamup that ended with respect and a dual-attack between DT and Celly, could go on and on.

Every single time the stompy fights happen, there's a friendship element to it.
>>
>>27615399
>She went bonkers because she had to get Sweet Note the fuck outta dodge.

And she had that ability the whole time, she did it at the end, but when Trixie came in she was focused only on mindwiping her, and when that didn't work she literally ran out into the hallway and did NOT run away until she was just plain unable to keep fighting, she kept it up with Trixie even when she was getting blasted into shit.

And this-
>"NO! YOU ARE NOT READY CHITANIA! WE MUST AWAY! AKEKEKEKekekekekeke....."

Is awful. It's awful, wildly OOC and wouldn't have any hope of fitting unless Chitania was literally hanging by a thread, and event then, she'd try to cover her escape by wrecking shit.

Them running away makes no sense, story wise, character wise, or... just plain anything. Chitania was found before, she was revealed before, she didn't run away back then even though she had a goal and they had the advantage, she fucking WRECKED SHIT.
>>
>>27615399
>"NO! YOU ARE NOT READY CHITANIA! WE MUST AWAY! AKEKEKEKekekekekeke....."

>Chitania just stares at her running away.
>Doesn't move
>"...So you do know she could just find us, right? Like... the fuck are you doing, are you planning to do something there? This makes no sense, they could follow us, they could find us, even if I teleport. Why are you not helping me break this fucker's neck so we at least have a headstart before anyone notices we're gone!?... YOU ARE TERRIBLE AT THIS VILLAIN THING!;
>>
I know it's not perfect or planned out or fleshed out and such

But I just want to figure out SOME way to buck the trend in "Oh shit, you're a badguy, time for stompin'" or "Let's escalate EVERYTHING" that keeps cropping up in the thread.
>>
>>27615529
You're not going to succeed
>>
aplejack isnt a princes sily
>>
>>27615529
>I know it's not perfect or planned out or fleshed out and such

Which is why we're critiquing it and pointing out the weak points so that such problems can be resolved or worked around before the story in question instead of during.

>But I just want to figure out SOME way to buck the trend in "Oh shit, you're a badguy, time for stompin'" or "Let's escalate EVERYTHING" that keeps cropping up in the thread.

Kay? You don't have to escalate anything.

>>27615576
He does if he writes it.

Admittedly, this doesn't keep anyone else from doing that, but he himself can succeed in bucking the trend if he writes it.
>>
>42
"Changelings"
~~

>Alright, I'm putting my debate on hold for a second, just so I can check on-WHAT THE FUCK!?

"Things got way out of hoof."

>WHY DO YOU ALL HAVE GUNS!?

"We don't all have guns! Less than half of us, thank you! Admittedly, we have enough guns everyone COULD have a gun, but that's different from actually having it."

>WHY!?

"Because... shit, does anyone remember why we got an assload of guns?"

"Because someone got shot!"

"No no, that's what happened after we got the guns, I was talking about the leadup."

>What!? Who got shot!?

"Hm? Oh, me."

>...What!?

"I got better."

>Who authorized this!?

"Me also. I used to not be able to, but I got better."

>Everyone, drop the incredibly deadly weapons right now!

"How can I drop my own dick? OHHHH!"

>...

PUNCH!

"EEEEEEEEEEEE!"

>That's how. Does anyone else need a demonstration?

CLATTER!

>That's what I thought.

"I THINK YOU TURNED IT INSIDE OUT!"

>What do you know, you finally got inside someone. Congrats.

"..."

>Oh, what? I can't do jokes?

"..."

>Fuck all of you, it was funny.
>>
>>27615691
She's right, it was.
>>
>>27615609
It's no good

I'm not a writer and no doubt I'd be stepping on SO many peoples toes, some for botching it or doing an amateur job, others for going against the "canon" of what the previous guy wrote
>>
>>27615609
>You don't have to escalate anything.
He doesn't have to, and I'm gonna guess it's not even him, but it does happen, quite a lot. And more often than not in the wrong 'me mad' direction. I think that's why I still love the Gala arc and similar arcs with likewise escalation, because those more humorous than anything, which is why I'm here, mainly for the funny.

I'd like to see that trend broken, too, and I'd do it myself if I didn't just skip over those parts in the first place and read the cliff notes.

>>27615691
Brilliant.
>>
>>27615691
That's what you get!
>>
>>27615691
"I'll never have children now!"

>I can hear the gene pool cheering.

"..."

>I've been listening to too much Fuzzy and the Buzz...
>>
>>27612867
Wooo!
>>
File: 1463880632855.png (271KB, 930x1000px) Image search: [Google]
1463880632855.png
271KB, 930x1000px
>>27610582
>>
>>27616338
Oh hey, we're finally back?

At fucking last!
>>
>SA
"Pinkie"
'Two'
~~

>Okay, legally, I think I'm supposed to ask if you're using my daughter to focus test.

"Shiny, I'm appalled you would think that! How can I be the best Auntie ever if I use her to further my corporate gains?"

>I guess that's tru-

"Besides showing her with toys under the guise of being a loving aunt, while in reality seeing which one she is drawn to the most, I mean. Thereby being the best aunt who brings the goodies while also getting work done. Sure, if I did that, then I would be doing what you said, but I'm offended you would even imagine I would do something like that!"

>...

"I mean I would, but I'm appalled you would imagine it."

>...

'Oh oh! Can I play with the giant megaplayhouse with the Queenling Band stage?'

"You sure can!"

>...

"Your daughter is happy, are you going to argue this?"

>...Proceed.

"That'a Shining."

'He hee! It sings!'
>>
>>27616430
Numoot us just fucking with us now.
>>
>>27615737
>I'd like to see that trend broken, too

Funny you should mention that, as we actually almost perfectly alternate between humorous escalation arcs and serious ones.

Fun fact, the arc just before the Sunset Revival Arc(Which included the city stomping) was the Beach Arc.

Before that, Apple Crazy.

Before THAT, OnO.
>>
>>27616570
>???
"???
~~~

>...

"Honey? What's wrong?"

>Someone... is spoiling my grandbaby... and it's not meeeEEEEEE!

"GAH!"

>I WILL BURN THIS WORLD TO CINDERS!
>>
>>27617569
Oh no, she is the Break Ma!
>>
>>27617569
And thus, Pinkie drops down hard on the favorite list.
>>
Goodnight theead
>>
Non-Canon
>Applejack
"Rarity"
~~~~~
AJ lays down by a fireplace.
>Welcome to Fireside /pa/ with your host Applejack. It's during this time that Ah' fix things in my sleep.

Rarity drapes herself over AJ.
"And her best helper, Rarity~"

>What are you doing?

"Enjoying the best pillow."

>Ah' thought you liked your pillows soft.

"I can like firm pillows too. Want to guess what I'm going to bring up?"

>You want to know about the Filly Scouts, don't ya?

"Why, you're psychic tonight, darling."

>They came back, but Ah' got them this time.

"Oh?"

>Ah' took off the kid gloves and brought guards with me as a show of force. That oughta scare them a little. Ah' had to let them know Ah' meant business this time.

"That you were ending your business with them?"

>Yup. Problem is solved.

"Were there tears?"

>Yeah, but we held strong. Not even the tears of little fillies could prevent us from making them leave. Ah' had the guards escort them off.

"...were those guards eating cookies later?"

>...*GAAAASP*

"That's all the time we have, but thanks for joining us on...the Fireside."
>>
>>27618977
Poor, poor naive one...
>>
Gee wilikers I sure hope the site doesn't freeze again
>>
>>27619575
Like, say, during the episode.
That would be a shame.
>>
>>27619753
Don't lie, that would be hilarious.
>>
>>27618977
Hnnngg.

Pillow AJ is a cute
>>
>>27612208
You're thinking of Applejack. The Hogan/Cena/Reigns of the thread.

Chitania has lost almost every feud.
>Shiny stopped her monster heel push
>DT, Gwen, and Pennydrop (as well as every canterlot based pone she ever beat sans Twilight) just got their wins back.
>her team up with AJ resulted in AJ going over her twice
>Sunset took all her heat away from the varry win by beating her instantly (kinda like Aurelia did)
>and currently she lost her leadership position in her faction and became Sunset's heavy.
>>
>>27615422
>just because she got revealed
I think the three impatient people shooting her had something to do with that.

She would have just horribly mindzoted anyone else after KOing them.
>>
I have the perfect end to this storyline

>Sunset

>Oh no. I have Chaos AIDS. *Explodes*

And the day is saved, thanks to Discord's STDs
>>
NC
>Pinkie
“Ponyville Pony”
~~~

>Step right up!

“…how… how are you doing that?”

>Doing what?

“Spinning that sign!? How are you doing that!?”

>…

“…”

>Oh boy.

“Okay, you picking up the sunglasses is not helping! How are you doing that?! How-“

FLASH!

“…”

>You know exactly how I hold stuff with my hooves, and nobody needs to tell you otherwise.

“Know exactly how…”

>You have places to be.

“Places…”

>…Step right upppp!
>>
>>27620895
So she's Big Show.
>>
NC

>AJ
"???"
=???=


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BOOOOOOOOOOM! RUMBLE RUMBLE WOOOOOOSH!

>...

"...aaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

=...wweeeeEEEEEEEHEEEEEEHOOOO!!!=

THUMP CLANG

"...Ow."

=WOOOOOOO! Lets do that again!=

"No! We will NOT do that AGAIN!"

=...Aww...=

"Where did we even land?"

=Look! A pony! HEY PONY!=

"YOOOOOU! TELL ME WHERE I HAVE LANDED! TEEEEEEEEELLL ME!"

>... I don't get paid enough for this.
>>
>SA
“Pinkie”
‘2’
~~~

>That’s cheating.

“No it’s not.”

>This is the very definition of cheating. Literally, by definition, this is cheating.

“Show me where it says in the rulebook!”

>Here it is, page one.

“Bah, that’s… second edition. I play by third edition rules, it’s okay in third edition.

>There is exactly one edition. It’s pretty much been this way for… ever.

“Whaaa? You never read third edition? You’re such a pleb.”

>This is cheating.

“Two? Is this cheating?”

‘…’

“Two? What-“

BOOM!

“GAH!... WHY!?”

>She doesn’t like mimes.

‘THEY GOT BOXES, BUT’CHA NEVER SEE THEM! THEY’RE JUST NOT THERE, AUNTIE PINKIE! THEY’RE JUST NOT THERE!’

“Ah. So-“

>So kindly take off the mime mask and play poker like normal with the rest of us.

“Fiiiine.”

>…

“You really should talk to her about that.”

>One step at a time, I just got her over the clowns.

‘Their noses are funny!’

“Oh oh! I have a clown mask-“

>PLAY NORMAL!

“Spoilsport.”
>>
>>27621942
I KNOW THIS! It's Zim!
>>
>Actarius
“JJ”
~~

>Okay, I think I found the exit!

“Oh thank goodness!”

>Phew! Okay, I’ll get out, and then you’ll be able to… shoot.

“Shoot?”

>All over the floor.

“I told you not to do that! Just hold it in, don’t let it all out like that!”

>Got caught up in the moment.

“Fine, let’s just clean up the mess, what’s happening?”

>White stuff. So, so much white stuff.

“At least it’s familiar territory?”

>Not at all, this is new to me.

“Well you did say you wanted to try new things?”

>Bad new. Baaad new.

“Elaborate.”

>It’s… it’s so cold.

“Any chance it’s going to get warmer?”

>Not before my skin starts peeling.

“Ah. That does sound unpleasant, I want none of that.”

>I wouldn’t put it on you.

“I thank you.”

>…So why do you suppose this door leads to a room filled with snow?

“I’ve learned not to question this stuff anymore. I just close my eyes and let it all happen.”

>Good ling.
>>
>>27622421
Fucking mines how do they work?
>>
>Dash
“Fluttershy”
~~

>And one! And Two! And three!

“Um… are you sure you should be training this hard? Those weights look… heavy.”

>I have to, if I’m not the best, I’ll never be Wonderbolt Captain again!

“I’m just worried you’re going to burn out before the competition even begins.”

>Well, if I do, then I never deserved it in the first place.

“That’s… not a good outlook to have.”

>It’s the truth. I didn’t really earn it, Flutters. Just had it given to me, and that really came back to bite me. Those guys never really took me seriously, and I can see why. I need to prove to them I’m better that that. Better than just a friend of someone important.

“It’s just, if you lose, you’ll never get another shot at this.”

>Yeah, I know… but hey, at least if it goes bad, Equestria will get someone who deserves the spot instead, that’s a plus. Making a better world one way or another, right?

“I suppose… I’m just worried it’ll end up with someone like Lightning Dust.”

>Why worry about that? She’s been great standing in for me so far, she’s better than we gave her credit for.

“Really?”

>Yep. Wasn’t so bad after all, glad I gave her another shot. If she ends up winning? Ehhh… I think it’ll be alright.

“…”

>Something wrong?

“Hm? Oh, no. Nothing, nothing at all.”

>Cool. Then if you don’t mind, I’m just getting started. Add some more weights, I’m going to be able to pull all of Canterlot with these puppies by the time I’m done.

“Don’t hurt yourself, Dash.”

>Nah… think it’s time I got used to carrying the weight.
>>
>>27623301
Carry that weight, space cowboy.

Carry it on.
>>
>Lyra
“Bonbon”
~~

>And… light them!

“…”

>Now!

“…”

>That’s the signal, let it off!

“…”

>…Bonny? You, uh, you got a problem?

“This is stupid. All of this. The fireworks, the setup, the signs, it’s all so… stupid! Lyra, I’m telling you as your friend and I’m sorry if this hurts your feelings, this is stupid!”

>I know.

“…eh?”

>I know, setting off fireworks to propel us somewhere is stupid. Well aware, that’s true

“So… why?”

>Because you gotta burn bright if you want to be seen. Haven’t you noticed how much more seen that one pegasi is? She’s doing dumb stuff all the time, and everyone notices her. I wanna do the same, and I want you to come with me!

“…You’re doing this for attention?”

>Yep!

“You’re seriously going to propel yourself forwards in a cart, with fireworks, for attention.”

>That I am!

“…Okay.”

>Trust me, it’ll all be worth-

SHOOM!

“….three….. two… one-“

CRACK!

>MY RIIIIIBS!

“Huh… it was worth it.”

>AHHHHHHH!
>>
>>27623661
Don't even try, guys.

You can never be CC and Derpy.
>>
>Cloudchaser
“Derpy”
~~

>I’VE DONE IT! This will be my greatest creation! This shall put me in the halls of history, my name in every book at the very forefront! I shall be remembered far and wide, a beacon of inspiration for all who look upon me! All shall know my name anc chant it! CLOUDCHASER, they shall cry to the heavens, with warmth and reverence on their breath! CLOUDCHASER, that will be the one whom all wish they could be in vain! CLOUDCHASER, they shall scream in a voice to put the royals to shame! I have done it, my friend! This shall be the greatest triumph, of all time! THE GREATEST THING OF ALL TIME! AHHHHAHAHAH! ALL SHALL LOOK UPON ME, AND CHEEEEER!

“For building a fence?”

>…

“…”

>Shoot, you’re right, nobody is going to think that’s impressive. Who even wants it? It’s not like it’s going to keep anything from Everfree from getting out anyway.

“Right?”

>Right. Project scrapped, onto the next one!

“…Did you just hear screaming?”

>Probably the wind.
>>
>>27624248
Derpy, you silly pony, why did you stop her? Not even in the meta sense, Cloudchaser was being constructive for once.
>>
>>27624284
She's just stupidly honest sometimes.
>>
>Aj
“Chrysalis”
‘Cadence’
~~~

>Ya’ know, Ah’ just thought of somethin’ bout this here whole thing with the love charge and all that.

“What’s that?”

>Well, it’s just, if it’s magic, there’s probably a way ta’ fake it, right? Artificially make it?

“But this is our biology.”

>We can fake biology stuff.

‘She’s right, but not to worry. If they do, we’ll just take the same stance we do on inorganically grown fruit. I mean, it’s not like Applejack has a problem!’

>…wait, what?

‘What?’

“She likes the organic stuff better.”

‘Well, obviously! I’m just-‘

>What do ya’ mean, better? Course Ah’ love it true and proudly grown, what other kind is there?

“…”

‘…’

>What!?

~~~

>T-T-THOSE MOONNSSSTTEEHURHURHURRRSSSSS!

‘There there, it’s okay.’

>H-HOW COULD THEY DO THAAAAAT!?

“She is hugging really tight.”

‘Power through it! She needs hugs!’

“Well I need air!”

>T-T-T-THE POOR APPPPPUUULLLSSSS! BUUUHHHHHH!

‘There there… I need that windpipe so don’t go up so high-GLK!’

>WHHHHYYYYYY!?
>>
>>27624608
>Magically modified (MMO) apples
>>
>>27624608
And cue next thread being titled "Tyrant Applejack." As the purge begins.
>>
>>27624852
I for one welcome our apple overlord.
>>
>>27624608
Awwww, hugs for a hardworking apple pone.
>>
>>27624852
If Viceroy AJ goes full dictator I want a Trixie led rebellion.
>>
>AB
“SB”
‘SL’
~~~

>Did ya’ see her!?

“No! I looked everywhere, I can’t find me! I thought I saw me a couple times, but it was mirror me, not doll me! Trust me, those are two different me’s, I checked! Double checked even!”

‘I wondered why your head was bleeding.’

“Mirror me is a jerk!”

>GAHH! Where could she be!? Iffin’ she finds someone else first, the whole shebang is gonna get given up! We ain’t never gonna be able to hide this!

‘Can I just point out we wouldn’t anyway? What, were we going to lock her up in a castle? How were we going to keep the world from knowing we had a living doll anyway?’

>We gotta get her back!’

‘You’re sidestepping the lock her up conundrum…’

“I’ve got it!”

>At this point, Ah’m willin’ to listen!

‘We’re doomed.’

“No, really! I have it! Our cutie Marks are all about finding someone who needs help understanding their cutie marks, right?”

‘Is it? I thought it was about helping other-dimensional beings. I have no idea how to turn that into a legitimate business, but that’s just what I took away from that.’

>So how does that help?

“Simple! Clearly, if she wants to be a real filly, she wants to know what her cutie mark is, right?”

>That was pretty much our whole life till this point, sure.

“Sooo… let’s just use our cutie marks to find her not-cutie mark!”

>That makes perfect sense.

‘Wow, we are desperate.’

>Now… how do we use these things?

“Shake them? Just shake them really hard? That’s how I get the toaster to work when I’m making milkshakes.”

‘Making who what now!?’

>Lets do it! Shake shake shake!

“Shake shake shake!”

‘Shake our booty?’

“Shake our booty!”

>Aah, don't fight the feelin’!

‘….Shake shake shake!’

1/2
>>
>>27625287

“Shake shake shake!”
>Shake shake, shake shake,
‘shake your booty!’
>Aah, give yeurself a chance
“Shake shake, shake shake, shake your booty!”

‘Come home with momma now!’
>”’SHAKE OUR BOOOTY! YEAH!’”

>…
“…”
‘…We just did that because we like shaking our cutie marks, didn’t we?’

>Yep.

‘Just so we’re clear.’

>Well, shoot that didn’t help anything!

‘Noooo, really?’

“…Oh hey! Mirror me got stitches! I knew I messed her up bad in our fight! Look at her, she’s even running away! Yeah, you better run, or else it’ll be you crying on the ground for ten minutes!”

>…
‘…’
“…wait.”

>AFTER HER!
>>
>>27625304
I admit it. I sang the song in my head and had a good laugh about it.
>>
>>27625304
Okay, I am legit worried about SB now...
>>
>>27625443
Nahhhh, she'll survive on sex appeal alone.
>>
>Rarity
~~~

A sigh, slow and full of remorse, escaped her lips as she slowly trotted down the streets of the once sterling city.

Now, much like her own previously immaculate coat, it had been tainted, tarnished with bruises and black spots where everything had been beautiful before.

>I’m sorry.

She got stares, and not a one like the type she so enjoyed to have. The stares they gave her at best were those of suspicion. At worst, anger.

She deserved every bit of it.

>I wish I could take it all back, I truly do… but I can’t.

She did not deflect a one, instead she accepted it all. Fleeing from it, she accepted, wouldn’t help a single one. Not herself, and most certainly not those she was supposed to ‘rule’. She would not flee from it.

>I can’t take it back, none of us can. No matter how big or small our mistake, we have to live with them.

But she would not let it stop her either.

>But that doesn’t mean I have to let it stay a mistake. So many things were broke… are broken.

The papers in on her back rustled, crinkling slightly in her magical grip to ensure they did not get so much as a hair out of place. Their mass, not even as heavy as a pound, felt like lead on her back.

She carried them on, and she would keep carrying them on, until she reached the end.

>I’ve made so many mistakes. we all have.

Come the return of her foes, the ground splitting open or the end of the world, she would carry them to the end.

>We need to start fixing them.
>>
>Twilight
“???”
~~~

>…Am I really going to do this?

Her tongue uncomfortably clicked against her teeth, rolling around in a hint of nervousness she hadn’t felt in quite a long time. Despite this, she knew what she was about to do needed to be done, if only to try. Even if it was doomed to failure, like everything else had been so far, she had to try.

She was almost certainly going to fail, but at the very least, she had to try.

With a shaking, unsteady hoof, she summoned over the guard, eager to serve his princess’s command, and with a sigh she laid her papers down on the table.

>Soldier?

“Yes, princess?”

>I need you to go find me either Forty Two, or if she’s finally available, Chrysalis.

“Of course. What for, majesty?”

>Let’s just say…

She would swear, the papers before her began to glow, and flicker with evil laughter.

>I’m doing an… outreach program.

She knew she was going to regret this.
>>
>>27626235
Cautious, but curious...
>>
>Fuzzy
“Buzz”
~~~

>Annnd COMING AT YOU LIVE, IT’S FUZZY AND THE BUZZ!

~Fuzzy and the Buzz in the morning, 97.1!~
~Breakfast of champions!~

“Top story toDAY! According to reports, the mare responsible for the chaos in the hospital has been apprehended, and it’s none other than a show mare by the name of Trixie!”

~The niiiight Trixie went crazy, the night magicians went nuts!~

>The unicorn apparently went crazy without provocation, and cause is still being determined.

“Of course, information is still being gathered, so it’s too early to tell. However, strong sources point to her finding out that Fuzzy has a poster of her in her room, and deciding that the world just needs to be cleansed.”

>OHHHHH!

~Who was the crazy one, really?~

“However, we want to remind everyone that the investigation is still ongoing, and the reason you heard it here first is so that we can remind you not everything is what it looks like.”

>For instance, Buzz almost seems sane if you just look at him from the back. It’s when he starts talking that you start considering running screaming into the night.

“OHHHHH!”

~No no, don’t worry, I’ll get the check, you just check out. ~

>As always, we’ll keep you updated as the situation develops, so stay cool beautiful listeners, the truth is out there!

“For instance, the truth of where mares would rather be instead of with Fuzzy. It’s way… way… way… waaaay out there.”

>OHHHHHH!

~Some where over the rainbow!~

“While we wait, how’s about instead you judge this hot new single from Clop C and the Starshine Band, Shake Your Booty!”

>Ladies, we swear, that’s the name of the single, not a suggestion, no more restraining orders please.

~DON’T DO IHT CAHPTAIN! SHE KANT TAYK ANYMOWR!~

“HIT IT!”
>>
>>27626834
I will never get tired of these two.
>>
>>27627034
The simple pleasures of two yutzes who love to poke fun at themselves is, indeed, an universal one.
>>
>>27621042
To be fair it was just the one who shot her, and that's only because PD has... issues.
>>
>>27626834
Did F/B just channel the CMC?
>>
>>27627626
Makes sense, they both stay out of the main plot but are tied to it, they're both 99 percent silly, and they're both all about taking shots at each other.
>>
>>27626834
How do they hear about this so quickly?
>>
>>27628065
>It turns out that 10 and Pinkie secretly sends everything to F/B before it's even printed.
>No reason, they just like it.
>>
>29
"Guard"
'MM'
~Zecora~
~~~

~Oh my, to be down here again, it's almost nostalgic is it not? Never again did I think on these floors we would trot.~

>HARK! We have arrived, and we wish to-

"Just take the prisoner back into the lockup, I'll register them right away."

'...Wait, what?'

"Oh, are you not two not dropping someone off? I figured they also went on a rampage or something."

>THINE HORRID THING! To think of me so little, to assume I am a mere criminal of intent most foul because of the chitin I wear to shroud me in this world! Thine soul be cursed for thine horrid thought of bigotry!

"...Y-yes! You! I was totally talking about you! And... wow, yep, I'm awful, just so totally awful, guess I couldn't let that whole invasion thing go! You know, I bet this is the first chapter in a long book of understanding! What a day, eh?"

>...

~...~

'...You meant Zecora, didn't you?'

"Er... nooooo..."

~...~

"...AROUND THE STRIPES, YOU'LL HAVE GRIPES-"

POW!

"I deserved that."
>>
>>27628684
Canterlot! We're not racist against JUST changelings, thank you! We diversify!
>>
Gnight, thread.
>>
>Vekir
"Watchdog"
'Siegfried'

>YOU SHALL NEVER TAKE VEKIR ALIVE!

'She said as her bodyguard carried her across Canterlot by the tail like a mother with her hatchling.'

>Vekir knows you shall tire out eventually! Her dead weight shall win the day!

"You're tiny and I'm a robot, stop squirming!"

>Never! Vekir is small but she is dense-

'Oh are you ever.'

>-she knows the secrets of Royalty!

'...ok what?'

>Yeeees, Vekir has devoured many cakes when everyone conveniently was looking at other things! Soon Vekir will grow as big as the Princesses and none shall carry her!

'Yeah, sure, that's how becoming an alicorn works.'

"...is that not how that works?"

'What? No!'

>Vekir is now disappointed...

'You don't become an alicorn by just eating cake!'

"How then?"

'I don't know, but it's definitely not that way!'

>Then whyfor would Princess Sillessesia eat so much cake?

'Because she's trying to get these chucklefucks around us to overthrow her like with the Prench Revolution.'

>...what?

"Yeah, what?"

'What what?'

"The fuck is a Prench?"

'You know, the Prench, from Prance.'

>"..."

'Par les vous Prancey?'

>"..."

'What!? I studied them a lot! Where do you think Omelette du fromage came from!?'

-My word!-

~Avert your eyes, ladies!~

"Eugh, again with that."

>That was weird...Vekir demands to see it again!

'Omelette du fromage.'

-EEEEEEK!-

~Sweet Faust bring back Chitania, I'd suffer her a thousand times before that!~

"Dude, stop..."

>Again, catbird friend! Again again!

'Oml-'

Thwack!

~Kind sir, thank you for saving us from that fiend! Truly you are the hero Canterlot deserves!~

-MY hero!-

"...aaaaand we're walking, we're walking, we're walking..."

'Bi bik...yew bro muh bik!'

>Hurrah, now you speak in an even funnier way!
>>
>>27626235
Fuck
>>
>>27626235
>Let’s just say…I’m doing an… outreach program.

Twilight should stop spending so much time with Chryssie.
That creepyspeak must have rubbed off on her.
>>
Hey

Hey guys

Remember waaaaaay back when that story with 77 dying of old age in front of his emergence toilet happened?

Remember when someone in the story called him captain?

Never said Captain of what, now did it?

Food for thought.
>>
>>27628684
If he was a true racist he would lock Zecora up for assaulting a guard.
>>27629833
I mean despite Pommel earning the right to keep the guard all pone, they still wound up having robots like AJ wanted. So why not let chrysalis run a ponyville guard? I mean she might just tap 29 or say no because she is paranoid and won't be hovering over whoever is there.
>>27629886
She wasn't doing creepy talk, she was at a loss for how to explain it without revealing her plan. It also shows how much she respects AJ's choices since lings in the guard was something Twilight was fighting for and she is only going back as a last resort.
>>27629903
He works too, since his fiancee is there. And with no ponys wanting to be there I can see a guard of 77, demons, and harry the bear
>>
>>27629903
Oooh!

No, as a matter of fact I dont remember that story in such detail, but if its true what you are speaking of, then that would be a nice little tie-in.
>>
>>27630052
In context he was Capt of the Canterlot guard in everything but name at this point.
>>
>>27629657
>Oh, Dexter's lab, I miss you so...

But considering the current reboots, I don't want you back.
>>
>>27629920
>If he was a true racist he would lock Zecora up for assaulting a guard.
To be fair, since they caught him discriminating and he admitted it, they can sue him for that.
>>
Stay safe if any of you /pa/ls are in Florida.
>>
OOCO
>AJ
"Celestia"
~~~

>Tia? Gotta question.

"And I bring the FIYAH!"

Fwoosh!

>Cute, but ya' can't kill sanity with yer' fancy shmancy magics.

"Drat."

>But to mah' question, ya' know how the yaks are constantly sayin' they're gonna declare war on stuff?

"Yeah, and?"

>Well, don't wanna sound like we're tootin' our own horn here, but so what?

"Applejack! We're not declaring war on someone because we find them annoying!"

>No, we ain't, they are. They're the ones doin' that, specifically. Ah'm just sayin' we ain't gotta give into crazy ass demands cause they're crazy.

"You know nothing of politics."

>Oh yeah? How many times have they got better deals on stuff because 'it's not perfect', and threatened war?

"Erm..."

>Well?

"You just don't understand politics."

>Tia-

"They're really annoying, okay!? Do not tempt me, Applejack! This is for me and the history of our nation as a whole, DO NOT TEMPT ME!"

>Now, see, that part Ah' understand.
>>
>>27631485
Burn them all, Celly.

Burn them all...
>>
>29
"MM"
'Zecora'
~Trixie~
(Guard)
~~~

The changeling, earth pony and Zebra let out a sigh so harmoniously synchronized it singlehoofedly progressed the unification of the world forwards by ten years.

The intense glare of hatred shot back at them by the unicorn behind bars was so focused on hatred it singlehoofedly sent it straight back about fifty.

>Alright, Trixie, what did thou do this time?

Better than any changeling could ever hope to match, her head went from blue to red with anger quicker than light.

~THE INNOCENT AND PISSED OFF TRIXIE DID NOTHING!~

"She says, from behind bars."

'Trixie, please, you know we're here to give assistance in your time of need. However, in order to do that, we first have to know what caused you to do such a deed.'

~Trixie didn't do anything!~

>Alright, if you want to be like that-

~NO! You don't understand! Trixie was tricked! Sunset Shimmer is the one who attacked everyone and knocked them over, Trixie was the one who stopped her! You have to believe-~

>What!? Sunset was in the hospital!? And she attacked you!?

"Oh my gosh! We were right there! She would have been just down the hall from us!"

'This is terrible, and that it happened beside us is without excuse! We should have wondered where you were, instead of thinking you recluse.'

For perhaps the very first time in her life, the Great and Powerful Trixie was utterly speechless.

~...Eh?~

>Guards! Why art thou still holding her? Clearly, we need to go catch the real one responsible!

A war broke out between the mare's baffled mix of shock and confusion, and the most deadpan expression that had ever existed.

(Yeaaah, bullshit.)

>What!? This is absurd, she says she was not responsible, let her out!

(Oh yeah, how silly of me, she clearly got into a fight with someone who didn't leave a trace behind. A prodigy who she so totally defeated.)

~How dare you! Trixie would never lie-~

(Just like that Ursa Major she totally beat.)

1/3
>>
>>27632011

Her nose scrunched up, and even the most brash and egotistical one of them couldn't make a response to that.

~...Okay, so Trixie may have... embellished a bit, but Trixie would never-~

(Attack a place while hopped up on crazy magic?)

~That, uh... that's... well, Trixie clearly doesn't have the Alicorn Amulet-~

(And I'm sure you've neeever tried to use any magic like it since.)

~She hasn't!... Mostly! She may have thought about... TRIXIE DID NOT ATTACK A HOSPITAL!~

(Riiiight.)

The cape on blue shoulders slumped to the ground, suddenly losing most of it's shiny luster.

~She didn't...~

>Now thou listen here!

To his credit, the guard never so much as flinched. Not even when three different species advanced on him.

"Trixie may have done some... regrettable things in the past, but she'd never do this without provocation!"

'It is true, she is prone to spinning wild tales every now and again. Even so, she will never lie when she succeeds with an honest win!'

>Thine mare behind the bars is locked up unjustly and without reason! I demand thou releases her this instant so we can find the true one responsible!

(...nnnnnoooooo...no.)

It took everything they had not to rush him and start hitting.

~Just... just go, he's not going to listen.~

It became far harder when they heard the normally brash voice sound low and defeated.

"...I'm not going anywhere."

With a reverberating pomp to her steps, the mayor turned on her heels, marched right back where she came, and set the scroll marked rear right down next to the bars.

'My friend has the right mind on this matter! Be ready to have your life filled with our chatter.'

Following her, the zebra also marched over to the bars, and sat down on their edge.

>Thine life shall be filled with my anger!

Last, and certainly not least, the changeling Prissstomped to the mare's side.

(You do realize that, thanks to the fucking monster attack, it could be a while before she gets a trial?)

2/3
>>
>>27632024

One after another, in perfect sync, three sets of forelegs crossed, and they all glared.

(...fine, whatever.)

~...You don't really have to stay with Trixie, she knows you have lives you have to go back to-~

It was the earth pony of the group that cut off the low whisper, in the most childish of ways.

"Pffft!"

~L-look... it's not like Trixie wants to be forced to hang out with you anyway-~

'BAH!'

~T-Trixie will just... she'll practice her magic! She doesn't want pity! She's The Great and Powerful Trixie! She will just-~

>HRMPH!

~She'll just... just...~

They never even twitched, save to scoff it off.

~...Trixie really did fight Sunset, she really did win-~

>We know.

'Don't worry, we understand your plight. Soon, they too will see the light.'

It would have been suspicious to anyone else why the mare suddenly pulled down her pointy hat. To the three, it was pointless. She was all too transparent.

>...So! Did thou see that pizza place was wrecked most foul?

"I know, right? I almost cried."

'Their dishes were so delicious! If only their prices were less vicious.'

>Ha! Thou would think thee more capable, after all thou swindled from me!

'Swindled? I'm hurt, everything I said was true. Well, from a certain point of view.'

"AKA, her point of view."

'Yep!'

As they chatted away, normal as could be despite their location and never once moving from their spots, the unicorn pulled down the hat tighter, trying to pretend as best she could she was annoyed. But no matter how far down she pulled, the could see what she was really trying to hide.

It would have been hard for anyone to miss the streams going down her cheeks.

~...T-Trixie hated that place, she only went because you all wanted to...~
>>
>Steam Guage
"Quicksilver"
~~~~

>What did we learn?

"Not to fall down several hundred feet because of a hole made when a princess punched a giant monster through it?"

>That's correct!

"Also, my friends will attempt to lead a rope down the hole and go save me, instead of just... getting a pegasus."

>Really, that's more a lesson for us than you, but glad you're thinking it through.

"Also also, free healthcare does not mean fast healthcare."

>Massive wait time, isn't it?

"Also also also, they just hand out morphine to everyone."

>Make it rain!

"...SG?"

>Yep.

"I don't wanna die."

>Cool, don't do that.

"..."

>If you have time, I mean.

"..."

>No rush.

"..."

>Still with me buddy?

Poke.

"Ow."

>We're good!
>>
>>27632030
TRUE
BRO
TIER
TRIPLE COMBO
>>
>>27632078
I genuinely do love how they just accepted what she said. No question, just "OH ShIt! Sunset did what!?"

Das bro stuff.
>>
>SA
"Pinkie"
'2'
~~~

>Hrm... do you think I'm being a bad example?

"Let's check. Hey! Two! If you're barreling down the side of a mountain and there's an avalanche behind you, death by massive ice wall imminent, what do you do? Sick kicks like Shiny, or go faster like your aunt Pinkie?"

'Why do I gotta do that? Can't I just fly up?'

>...

"..."

'...What?'

>Does... does that mean I did bad, or-

"I'm not sure how much you factor into this at all."

>That's... strangely a good thing, isn't it?

"..."

'Oh hey look! Butterfly! I'mma chase it! WHEEEEeeeee...'

>...I wish I could fly.

"Me too."

>Go watch the childlike glee and use it's infectious joy to forget we're all slowly traipsing towards our wingless inevitability?

"Sounds like a plan."
>>
>>27632223
...oddly depressing.
>>
>>27629920
>I mean she might just tap 29

"VERILY! THINE PUBLIC URINATION MUST CEASE, OR I SHALL PRISSTOMP THEE INTO THE GROUND!"
>>
>>27629920
>And with no ponys wanting to be there I can see a guard of 77, demons, and harry the bear

>Harry the bear

Funny you should mention him...

I swear I'm going somewhere with that.
>>
>Buttercup
"Bubbles"
~~~~~

>Me not like this.

Nervous paws once more reassembled the barrel of her pride and joy, putting it back together as easily as she had taken it apart.

"Really? Me like this! It nice."

The massive Timberwolf paid her no mind, instead lazing about, idly scratching at the wounds the would never heal. Despite the ache, she looked positively at ease as she rocked back and forth in her hammock, a content rumble sounding in her wooden chest.

>That am because you sissy, me should be out there, wherever him is at. He am small thing, not strong as me. Needs me!

"He know what he is doing."

>Sissy!

The manticore snarled, but the timberwolf never so much as twitched. In another life, she would fear battle with the beast. In this one, she knew better. Her fellow in their strange village would never harm her. He wouldn't let her.

"If you am so strong, maybe that why you get left behind, in case someone comes."

>You sound like him.

She growled, bitterness on her voice as she crossed her claws.

>Me know me am strong, me am strongest in world!

"Pony am stronger than you."

>SHE CHEAT!

Ruthless paws slammed down in impotent rage, useless though they provided relief.

"What you problem?"

>...what if he not come back?

That finally got the wolf's attention.

>If he not come back, we go back to... how we were? Running, eating... no more dreams?

"...Me not know."

A somber, heavy silence fell over them both as they looked out over the world, the village they had made for themselves where life was so much better. So much more than it had been before.

>...me not want to go back.

"Me either."

>So... him better come back, or me go after him.

"But you not able to think, how would you find him?"

Her wings, massive as they were powerful, stretched out.

>...me find him.

A silence fell over them, nothing more needed to be said.

1/2
>>
>>27632981

>...But he come back, me sure of-

The world stopped as a massive, booming sound rang out. All of the creatures around froze, on edge as the sound repeated, louder this time.

"What... am that?"

The noise, like thunder and an earthquake mixed, sounded again. And again, and again, and again. It kept coming, closer, closer, and louder. Though most huddled together in fear, though Bubbles looked to the weapon gripped in the Manticore's claws with a hunger in her eyes, one of them did not shy away.

One of them smiled.

>...He's home.
>>
>>27632994
...oookaaayy?
>>
>>27633112
He either pulled it off, or he's dead and this is now going to destroy them all.
>>
>>27633193
>Pissed off a dragon

I see it.
>>
>>27633597
Oh yeah, weren't we gonna have Spike fight those dragons or something?
>>
>>27633709
Still on the table, hasn't been picked up yet.
>>
>JJ
"Actarius"
'???"
~~~

>OH SWEET LOVE!

"What? WHAT!?"

>...Noootthiiiinnng!

"What!? WHAT IS IT!?"

>Nothing, everything is fine, do not think about my previous outburst.

"Are you seeing someone right now?"

>Whaaa? Nooooo Acty, you know I only go looking for you.

"I'm just saying, I hear someone in that room."

>That's me!

"I hear feathers."

>...I wanted to try something new?

"JJ, who's in there with you?'

>Nobody!

"Jay Jaaaayyyy."

>Nobody I swear Acty! You're just being paranoid!

"Jugglejack, be honest with me! I need honesty in my life right now! You're tearing me apart!"

>Alright fine! It's... it's...

"..."

>...It's a giant worm.

"WHAT!?"

'SCREEEE!'

"...I have so many questions! Most important, how big is he?"

>Size doesn't matter, Acty... it's the fact he's spitting acid that matters.

"Ah. So-"

>RUNNNNN!
>>
Odin Sphere is distracting me from writing....

Hail the apples.
>>
>AJ
"Chrysalis"
'Cadence'
~~~~~

>Ya' know, it occurs to me, shouldn't we put a lot of what we're doin' towards those Infusion things too?

"That's your jurisdiction, they don't work on Changelings."

'But she's right, if you guys figure out how to bottle and distribute Sparklejoules, it'll be a competitive market.'

"So we just offer it for less, the Infusions are expensive as fuck."

>But won't that just make her cut corners?

"So? Put some inspectors on the job to ensure quality, I don't give a fuck."

>Those are expensive, though. We'd be allocatin' a sizable chunk of budget to ensure it's up to code.

"Wait, so you don't do that now?"

>...Erm, well, no, we ain't exactly been able to keep up with the advances.

'I don't even have Infusions over in the Empire... wow, I just realize we got neglected there.'

"Well it would be easier to examine there."

>Ya' think that effects their distribution?

'...nahhh.'

"Don't be silly."

>...Does anyone find it weird we're talkin' about stuff?

"SO WEIRD."

'As long as it's not just me.'
>>
>>27634563
>Doing politics
>In /pa/

WHAT WORLD IS THIS!?
>>
>>27632521
And now I'm interested.
>>
>Gwen
"PD"
~~~

>Why are we heading to Trottingham, again?

The mare at the helm of the ship, which the griffon noted none too lightly was supposed to be her own and not the pony's, infuriated matters further when she gave a cocky smirk.

"You said you wanted to see the new project we were working on."

>I didn't say I wanted to see it when I was meant to be chewing out the morons responsible for pardoning the greatest monster to ever roam the planet. They deserve to know how irritated I am.

"Oh, and they will, but I just figured you wanted a bit more bragging room when you did."

>Is that so?

"Yes, do tell me if I was wrong."

It annoyed the griffon to no end that she could not.

"I figured as much."

>So tell me, this new project you're working on, will it make the next encounter be a little more one sided?

"Oh hooo... you're going to love it."

>...Good.

"You know, she's technically not a criminal anymore. Attacking her technically wouldn't be legal."

>I've had quite enough of these ponies and their forgiveness to everyone who tries to kill them and wrecks their homes, thank you. I suppose this is as good as any way to make that known.

The businessmare smiled, leaning back into her chair.

"I suppose you're right?"

>Yes, soon they'll get the message. When someone messes with a griffon...

Talons, sharp as any blade, raked across the seat's pristine finish.

>They don't get a friendship song and dance.

"...You're scratching the seat."

>Will you just let me have this!

"I'm just saying, that finish is hard to make! You can't buff it, you have to replace the whole seat!"

>I was making a point!

"To who? Me? I got the point!

>Will you just fly the damn ship!

"Will you stop scratching it?"

>It's my damn ship!

"Yeah, well... still!"

>FLY THE DAMN SHIP!

"I'm flying! Jeez!"

>...

"..."

>...You totally ruined the moment, you know.

"You totally ruined the seat!"

>FOR FUCKS SAKE!
>>
>>27635068
I love these two kooks.
>>
>>27634335
>Odin Sphere
Oh yeah.

Whatever happened to that Morlock Simulator thing?
>>
>>27633709
Spike was gonna do a lot of things.

He does very little.
>>
>>27635418
I realized HOLY SHIT does nothing happen in Stellaris for mid game.
>>
>>27635700
NC
>Spike
"???"
~~~~

>I WUZ CAPTIN' CANTERLOT AND SHIT!

"What was that, Spike? Sorry, couldn't hear ya', me and Cadence and Chrysalis were havin' character developin' moments."

>FUUUUUUU
>>
>>27635068
So setup so far is
>PD and Gwen about to unleash hell and they don't care who's gon get fucked
>Chitty and Sunset are off building MechaChittyArmor(not Mechachitty, the armor FOR Chitty)
>Pommel is leading an offensive against a crime boss
>Twi is fixing the Ponyville Guard situation
>Trixie dindonuffin and probably wants revenge
>13's got a gun, dunnununun.

This is going to fuck up somehow.
>>
>>27636503
Ehhh, not exactly a crime boss, as I said it's five jackasses in a cellar with like one who knows what he's doing but Sonny Corleone isn't gonna be able to deal with a freeze ray, y'know?
>>
Gnight, thread
>>
>>27636914
Same, anon
>>
>>27637281
It is lovely, isn't it?
>>
>>27636914
It's nearly good morning here.
>>
>>27638059
Goodwood morning !
>>
Non-Canon
>Applejack
"Rarity"
~~~~~
>Welcome to Fireside /pa/ with your host Applejack. It's during this time that Ah' fix things in my sleep.

"Applejack, I found a letter that only says 'Expect us.' Should I be concerned?"

>Those kids kept pushing and pushing. They'd show up in the kitchen selling cookies to the cooks. They'd refuse to leave unless somepony buys their cookies and wouldn't stop harrassing ponies who want to leave unless they buy their entire inventory. One of them stole toilet paper right before Blueblood went to the bathroom and wouldn't give it to him until he finally caved and bought their dang cookies. Ah' thought enough was enough...so Ah' tossed a water balloon at them.

"Oh my."

>Their cookies were ruined...
AJ looks at Rarity dead in the eyes.
>...and Ah' didn't compensate them.

"Ohhh~"

Rarity faints onto a couch
>Can you even faint in a dream?

"...I guess not, but I don't think they're happy you did that."

>So they got a little wet. Ah'm not sorry 'bout it. The Filly Scouts are just kids. What are they going to do?

"If they're the ones who sent the letter, I suppose we should expect them."

>Bring it. They're not going to get another bit from anypony in the castle.

"...I'll make sure Spike's on alert."

>We'll be fine. Anyway, thanks for joining us on...the Fireside.
>>
>>27638526
>Destroying the cookies

What have you done!?
>>
>>27638653
It wasn't worth the cost of victory...
>>
>SA
"Pinkie"
'2'
~~~

>Was setting fire to that really necessary?

"Shiny, when is setting fire to something not necessary?"

'When ya' gots too many marchmalleys, then ya' ain't supposed to set fire to nothin', yer' just supposed to eat them.'

"...huh."

>Did she just out Pinkie Logic you?

"You've taught her well. Soon, she will be able to bring joy to all the ponies with her wisdom."

'YAY!'

"Brings a tear to your eye."

>Should I be worried?

"About her becoming a ruler focused on only making everyone happy while ignoring the greater whole of problems? Yes, you should be worried about that, that is a real concern... don't ask me why."

>I was actually referring to the fire.

"Oh... ehhh-"

BOOM!

"Yes, now you should be worried about that too."

>So about the other thing-

'Don't put it out till my marchmalleys are finished!'

"Don't question the logic, Shiny."

>...good call.
>>
>Guard
"Cantie"
~~

>...

"Pstt! Hey! Heyyyy!"

>...

"Question, how legal is it to turn your blimp into a battle cruiser?"

>...what?

"Aha! You moved, you have to talk to me now!"

>That's not how that works-

"Come on, tell me! Is it legal?"

>Well... I mean, I don't know if it's illegal per-say but-

"ALL I NEEDED TO KNOW!"

FLEE!

>...But I don't actually read the lawbooks, I'm not a very good guard, is what I was going to say.... he's going to kill someone, probably.
>>
>>27639365
Was that a reference to NC Princess Pinkie? Cause you're making me feel
>>
>Gambling
"Changeling"
~~~

>AH HAH! My prey has been found!

"Your prey?"

>That dastardly dodger, Quicksilver! The hunt is on, and soon I shall end this. No more running for him! I can't risk him dying in some stupid accident! I need to tell him right now what I think and how this is making me feel! No more games! This! Ends! Now!

"Very well. But it's dangerous to go alone! Take this!"

>...This is a squirt gun.

"You won't be needing the other kind, trust me."

>...

"Trust me, this may seem confusing, but when the time comes... you'll know what to do."

>... You know what, I think you're dumb, but I'll give it a shot.

"Knew you'd see it my way."

>So you know he's not a...

"Not a what?"

>...nevermind.
>>
>Dash
"FS"
~???~
~~~

>...

"You can say it."

>...

"Go on, say it, I won't judge you."

>...

"Say whatever is on your mind, I will accept it, and won't think any less of you for it, I promise."

>...

"Say it."

>...

"Um... if that's okay with you?"

>...I...

"..."

>...I left all my porno inmYDEEESSSSSKKKK!

"Oh... that is a problem. But I'm sure nobody will notice?"

>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

~~~

~...Dash has amaaaazing taste, wow.~
>>
>>27639979
I'm sickened, but curious.
>>
>>27640075
The one liner after-quips to stories are sometimes just as funny as the story themselves to me.
>>
>AJ
“Chrysalis”
‘Cadence’
~~~

>Alright, so we’re all agreed!

“To move that abhorrent cake budget to something else?”

>Ye-wait what!?

‘Oh yes, that’s a wonderful idea!’

>Wait a minute!

“Honestly, who even needs that much cake?”

‘Just seems a waste, I barely eat any of it!’

“I like it, but it’s not like I need it. Just let me sip on some Shiny for a bit and I’ll do way better.”

>That ain’t-

“You know, we should tell Canterlot about that too.”

>NO! WAIT-

‘You know, we should! After all, I changed for the better when I had my terrible little secret revealed, it can only help.’

“Great idea! Next chance we get, just let it slip to 10 just how much they spend, she’ll take it from there.”

‘Yep! This is a wonderful idea-‘

>YOU MORONS! SHE’LL KILL US ALL! SHE’LL KILL US ALLLLLLLL!

“…”

‘…’

>…And Ah’ like mah’ apple fritters.

“…”

‘…’

>Count it as a personal favor, please.

“…”

‘…’

>She really will kill us all, Ah’m not jokin’.

“…Uh huh.”

‘So, um… maybe pile?’

“Maybe pile.”

>…She’ll burn us allllll.
>>
>>27640465
Don't do it you fool!

Their scorched blood will be on your hooves!
>>
>Rarity
“???”
~~

>…Hello? Helloooo?

She looked left in the joined office, she looked right.

She looked behind the desk, she looked under the light.

She looked between the filing cabinets and behind the drapes.

She even looked inside of a massive bowl of freshly picked grapes.

The same no matter where she peered, or how many things she looked around.

Eventually she had to brush the dust off her hooves and face facts, her friends were nowhere to be found.

>…Has nobody actually been doing anything while I was asleep!? Your tax dollars at work, ponies!

“As opposed to decadent foodstuffs and strippers.”

>GAH!... How long have you been standing there!?

“Whole time. I guard this place.”

>I… I have never noticed you before. Do you just not move?

“No ma’am, that would be against protocol.”

>How long have you been here!?

“I don’t know, I keep waiting to be relieved, but nobody comes.”

>…Are you alright?

“I can’t feel my legs.”

>Oh dear…

“…help.”
>>
>>27640828
So has he been holding it in, or does someone's desk need to be burned?
>>
>13
“Changelings”
‘CE Guard’
~~~

>Wow, these guns are perfect!

“Right? You just slip it into the little hoof hole, and with just a little squeeze-“

BANG!

“It just fits!”

“So easy to hold too, as long as you turn it right you can even run with them and not shoot! WHEEEEEE!”

“No magic required at all, just twitch and-“

BANG!

>Even I’m able to handle these! Even when I-WHOOP!... It’s okay, and still in the leg hole!... Think I lost a tooth though.

“Yep, these things are just perfect.”

‘…’

“Did you want one, mister Crystal Guard? Here! Guns for everyone! Take… huh, how are you going to hold this?”

‘…’

“You wanna just slip it in your mouth? Great tongue exercises!... But you can’t talk or anything, I guess.”

‘…’

“…Mister guard?”

‘I think I finally understand Canterlot.’
>>
>>27641429
>Guns work great with changeling holes.

I'll bet the Jews did this.
>>
>Cloudchaser
“Derpy”
~~~

>Alright, this is just stupid.

“What? I like it!”

>You would, because you’re grey.

“…”

>Don’t deny it!

“I… guess?”

>See? It’s not sexist.

“Wha… what?”

>Look, I’m just saying, I totally get why someone with short hooves would think building up a warning station over on the edge of Everfree was a good idea, despite how dumb it sounds.

“I… I don’t…”

>Look, I’m not discriminatory, I’m just saying if you wake up in the morning and you part your hair like that, you’re probably not going to make the best choices. It’s just too low, is all.

“…So then we should put it higher, maybe?”

>Oh! I see how it is! Just because I’m a Pegasus, of course I think a tower should be higher, right!?

“Wha-“

>RACIST!

“…I’m a-“

>Bigot, is what you are. You really need to get with the times.

“…I don’t understand modern tolerance.”
>>
>>27641880
I have no idea what just happened but I love it.
>>
>18
“CE ponie
~~~~

>NEXT!

“If I don’t like apples, is Princess Applejack going to smite me? This is a real concern.”

>No!

“Oh. What if I prefer peaches-“

>Still no!

“What if I don’t like-“

>No no no! She’s not going to hate you no matter what you don’t like to eat!

“I was actually saying if I don’t like that little redhaired yellow pony, she’s kind of annoying, and has a dumb voice.”

>Oh, her… yeah, she’ll probably hit you if you say that.

“But… but she’s really-“

>NEXT!
>>
>>27642103
NC
>AJ
“CE pony”
~~

>So Ah’ heard ya’ got qualms with mah’ sister’s voice.

“AHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh!”

>Don’t run!... Ah' agree! Her voice is dumb!
>>
>>27642291
Like you would know.

For all you can tell, she went through puberty by now.
>>
>>27641990
Cloudchaser has gone fucking bonkers, that's what happened.

You know why you love it.
>>
~~~

"It wasn't supposed to end like this..."

The mare behind the desk felt as if a thousand different wrinkles had been added to the already innumerable ones creased along her wizened face. The years gone by had never felt longer, and the toll on her had never felt heavier, than this moment. Her desk, once pristine and organized with a care the famed student of the princess would have taken pride in, was in tatters for the very first time since she had laid it out what felt like an eternity ago. It had never been move from this spot, in this city, no matter how many had tried to force it out. Nothing, she had so foolishly come to believe, ever could.

As the sounds of battle neared her closer and closer, up the endless steps to the top of her skyscraper and her door at the peak, that delusion fell apart piece by piece.

"Someday, sure, but not so soon, not like this..."

A furious hoof slashed at her work, destroying it as surely as the rest of the building was being destroyed as the sounds grew nearer. Her grey, thin mane hung heavy, clinging to her sweating brow as surely as she clung to the last shreds of sanity in her mind.

"Not like this..."

A grip that all too soon lost, when she heard her most trusted bodyguard's scream. She had never once, ever, heard him scream like that, the only sound that could have brought her more terror was his body colliding with the wall, and the silence that followed.

Beneath the weight, she broke.

"Fine... if you want to be like that."

She could not, nor would she, take anymore. She could not, nor would she, let them take anymore.

She could not, would not, let them take her alive.

"You're not leaving here with me, and you're not leaving here with everything you came with!"

Her locked drawer, the one she had not dared open before, never thought she would need to open again, greeted her. The metal cylinder within glowed with a power unmatched, or so it had been claimed.

She would put it to the test.

1/5
>>
>>27642978

"I'M TAKING SOMETHING WITH ME TO THE NEXT LIFE!"

The metal shifted against her hoof, and the room became alight with the power that radiated off it in waves. What little bits of organized papers that had remained were lost, cast aside like so many others in the wave of artificial wind that swept through the room. Fire, honed in the center of the devices magic, became a point so small, so bright, it could be mistaken for a miniature sun.

"LET'S GO, TOGETHER!"

When she heard them reach the door, she let it all out.

The building shook to it's very foundation, rocked from side to side as if struck by a mighty hoof of the sky. From the frame of the door atop her massive abode all the way down to the basement beneath ground, it rocked. The mare herself, close as she was, was pushed back against the glass behind her, the force even clear across the room enough to take her everything away.

Her bones creaked as she stood back to her hooves, wiping the thin stream pouring from a cut on her head to clear room for the smile that could cross it.

"Didn't see that coming, did you bastards?"

She didn't know who she had ended, how many, or how many would follow, and it didn't matter in the least to her. She had taken something, that was all that mattered. It didn't matter if there was one body or a hundred within the smoke covering where her door had been, she had taken something, and that was all that mattered.

"That's... that's what you fucking get for-'

Her lungs turned to ice, and not a single word more would form in her icy breath.

No one thing had taken the fire of her heart. It could have been because of the hoofsteps, the shape that she could see in the smoke, or the sound of a rumbling chuckle that had done it. Which one had broken her simply didn't matter.

When that white unicorn pony, tall, massive and wearing a smirk on her face, emerged from the smoke, she broke.

"No... n-no... NO! NO! YOU CAN'T!"

2/5
>>
>>27642990

She desperately reached for her desk, and pulled out a vial. It broke on her skin, and a lance of wind cut through the desk, slicing it in two. The ethereal blade continued on, until it connected to the hide of the damned smirking pony.

The old mare had so very little left before it had hit. When it simply rolled off her hide, bouncing like an arrow to a tank, she had nothing. She felt her legs give out, and she was finished.

"...who are you with? Equestria? Are you here for those princesses?"

The pony's lips never moved, remaining locked in that smirk as she advanced on the mare.

"Whatever they're giving you... I can give you so much more. I'll give you everything, anything! I have so much! You could get so much more! Go ahead, break this place, it has so little of what I own, what I control! Take it, and give it to them as their prize! They'll reward you greatly, you've taken down a piece of something massive with this... but it is just a piece. Just a tiny, tiny piece, I could give you so much more."

Her pleading grew more desperate, but the steps were equally as resolute.

"Tell them I wasn't here, tell them I slipped away, tell them anything! Just make it seem I escaped, and they'll still reward you... and I will give you so much. Wealth, command of entire districts, political pull, I've got it all! I'll give you anything! I'll even give you... power. So, so much power, it can all be yours, if you let me go..."

At last the towering mare reached her, and hot breath rolled over her crinkled face as the massive being spoke.

"And what makes you think you even know what power is?"

What little was left, was gone.

She wailed, and she struck, and it was every bit as useless as what had come before. When the pony struck back, the results were much more tangible. The world, and her reality, went black. She lay there against the ground. Everything she'd had, defeated.

All by a single being, who towered over her body.

3/5
>>
>>27642996

"Well good fucking job! You know, we were supposed to keep this place in tact!"

The 'unicorn' frowned, looking back bitterly over her shoulder to the twin 'pegasi' that entered in the room, one looking far less enthused that the other.

"I didn't know she had a weapon like that, she fired it off before I was in the room."

"Sorry, Chitty! I didn't know she had it, or I would have warned you!... Oops."

The other pegasus slammed a hoof into her face, taking great care not to scrape her own face off as she pulled it down.

"Well, it's not like anyone is awake to even know who we are!... I hope."

Fire consumed the 'unicorn', and in her place stood the Titan herself, proud and tall as she ever was, her chitin much more pristine than it had been a scant few hours ago.

"They would never wake up if it was up to me."

"Ugggh! I told you, no! We can't have any of the higher ups killed off! Just kill some of the lower ones if you really want to."

"They all ran."

"Your problem, not mine! We can't have anyone of actual importance die yet, that'll send off some real red flags! Oh no, not yet..."

That same flame wrapped itself around one of the 'pegasi' of the group, and soon Sunset Shimmer emerged, smiling. She crept to the now prone mare on the ground, a wicked smile covering her face.

"We need everyone to think everything is going exactly as it should..."

Intentionally or simply because it's castor saw no other reason to keep it, the final 'pegasi's wings burned away, leaving a slightly sad earth pony in it's wake.

"How're ya' gonna keep that up? Have Chitty mindblast them?"

"Hrmph, we both know I don't have that level of control."

"You don't... but I do."

4/5
>>
>>27643015

The changeling Queen frowned at the expectant, almost demanding face, but had no rebuttal to the claim. Reluctantly, her horn went alight, and the unicorn beneath her shivered as green magic rolled down her horn, shifting her red and yellow hair. In no time at all, the magic reemerged, and jumped hosts once again, to a far less willing target.

"We're going to control them, all of them, and use their connections to build something much bigger."

"Are you sure they'll be able to get what we need?"

She smirked, and held up the remains of the weapon that had nearly knocked even the Titan off her hooves.

"I have a hunch."

"...Very well, when can we start?"

Beneath them, the unconscious mare's eyes flew open wide, and she shot straight up. As if she did not even notice them there, she calmly walked over to her split desk, and uselessly tried to rearrange the papers in vain.

"We already have. Oh, dear Deep Pockets?"

Numbly, the mare at the desk nodded.

"We would like you to place a couple orders for us... for the good of your enterprise, I mean."

Without a word, she reached over, and pulled out a sheet of paper, ready and willing. With the control absolute, Sunset could not contain her glee.

"Congratulations, Chitania, you're now the head of a crime family."

The changeling said nothing to the jovial terms much as Sunset suspected. Without a care, she got to work, already commanding the mare at the desk of a dozen types of materials that Chitania only barely recognized. A part of it, at least, was how difficult she found it to focus. As Sunset rolled off more and more, made more and more plans, she began to wonder...

"...I'm not so sure that's true..."

She would deal with it later, she decided. There was so much more work to be done.

It was time to become stronger.

"This... is just the first step."
>>
>>27643024
...Well on the positive, they're doing great for cleaning up crime?
>>
>>27642978
>>27642990
>>27642996
>>27643015
>>27643024

I love it when I have no dog fucking clue what's going on until like the last two posts.

And even then I am simply left with more questions.

Bah
>>
>>27643024
>God I hate Changeling Queens! Queens are the worst! Fuck alllll you Queens you need to be genocided!
>Now shut up while I mind control this crime family head to use for my own purposes, but let me drop my disguise first, Queen buddy!

>>27643158
>I love it when I have no dog fucking clue what's going on until like the last two posts.

Think that was supposed to be the point, it probably would have been weird to use our standard format yet still keep it hidden who this is who's getting fucked up and what she does. I mean, the twist probably would have lost some kick if he listed

>Crime Boss
"Sunset"
'Chitty'
~Sweet Note~
>>
>>27643158
>And even then I am simply left with more questions.

Like what? Seemed pretty straightforwards to me.

>Chitty wrecking crimeboss's shit
>Story starts, Crimeboss is in despair cause her guys can't stop her, and she thinks they're with Equestria to bring her in.
>She gots knocked to shit by Chitty.
>Sunset emerges, mind controls her and is going to use her to get shit.
>Chitty's starting to wonder who's really ordering around who.
>>
>>27643185
Oh it's not just that

It's that we went from Sweet Note pointing to nowhere specific

And suddenly we're thrust into some..... thing?

Some crime mafia boss dramam thing I don't think we've EVER written more than once or so.

That and even with all the characters "revealed". It was impossible to tell who is hell cos there's no "said Sweet Note, huffed Chitty" or anything.

We're just meant to assume this is who the author intended to write.

Christ give me a break
>>
>>27643270
>It's that we went from Sweet Note pointing to nowhere specific

...Wait what?

>>27608896
>'Right there!'
>To anyone else, it would have looked like she was just randomly pointing.
>To the Titan and Unicorn, it meant so much more.
>>...isn't that-
>'Yep!'

Opposite, she was pointing somewhere EXTREMELY Specific that wouldn't have looked like anything noteworthy to someone not into the know like Chitania and Sunset was.

Also
>Some crime mafia boss dramam thing I don't think we've EVER written more than once or so.

Correct, but then we have-

>'No guards anywhere nearby, not even close, and they get all the best stuff, Slippy bragged about it all the time! And ain't nobody gonna raise a fuss if some ponies don't get spotted, they vanish all the time round there! It's perfect!'

So she wasn't subtle why she was picking that spot.

>That and even with all the characters "revealed". It was impossible to tell who is hell cos there's no "said Sweet Note, huffed Chitty" or anything.

Fair enough? One point I can't argue with.
>>
>>27643319
The leap from the last story to this one was too damn big and had next to no decent lead in.

How were we to tell this was to do with The Evil Trio's shenanigans, from pointing to Somewhere, Someplace, to cutting to this incredibly vaguely descriptive.... thing?

Like "oh hey clearly Sweet Note was pointing the group to this Crime Boss lady for stuff, and from the opening post This is Clearly that Crime Boss in question!" Is that how I was meant to read it?

Because all I read was a load of hokum that turned out to be Very Important, and took at least three passes to make general sense of.
>>
>>27643410
>The leap from the last story to this one was too damn big and had next to no decent lead in.

I'm gonna actually break my normal author silence here(I literally never comment, ever), but I've got to be the one to address this point.

>How were we to tell this was to do with The Evil Trio's shenanigans,

You're not supposed to, initially, that would ruin the whole reveal. You can't have Chitty scouting out the location because, obviously, then you know it's Chitania attacking her and why this isn't working. You can't have her get a bunch of backstory posts, because then you know she's a crimeboss and then it will be massively obvious as to who's attacking her and why(You know, having SN go "Oh hey! I know a spot with no guard and ponies disappear all the time!" And then out of the blue there's this sudden focus on a crime boss... yeeeahhh.)

While I can see obviously I didn't really succeed at what I was trying to do with you, the uncertainty as to who you're following and why she's under attack was built in to the story. All I needed you to know is what she looks like(the description of her face and age), what her setting is(top of a high rise and surrounded by bodyguards), how influential she is(aforementioned stuff+expensive weapon) and what her odds are(Nill)

So to answer your question
>Is that how I was meant to read it?

Nope, if you did it that way, you would have spoiled the whole surprise.
>>
>>27643531
While I will say I didn't have neeearly the hard time that poor guy did in following this three passes, really? I gotta admit that I figured it was probably them. Like, who else is in the middle of attacking someone? I guess it could have been Spike, but it's been so long I didn't even think of him. I just kinda defaulted to it being either Chitty or Seven, maybe. Seven kinda crossed my mind thanks to the other thing. What I'm saying is, I followed it easy, but I needed some more red herrings if you wanted to throw me off from thinking it was Chitty and Co, there was really only that possibility.
>>
>>27643629
Eh, Spike and Jet's busy and I think 77 is going somewhere, and I have NO idea what's going on with 7.

That and I think the confusion would've been worse if there were more options.
>>
>>27643024
....why?
>>
>>27643024
Please tell me that wasn't a Palamino boss.

Please tell me that didn't happen in Baltimare.
>>
>>27643812
>Please tell me that wasn't a Palamino boss.

No.

>Please tell me that didn't happen in Baltimare.

>>27608896
>>Somewhere you did not come from, and they would immediately go to. I thought that was obvious.
>'No, silly, I don't never want to go back to there anyway! That's just dumb! But that ain't all I got!'
>>
>>27643826
Good.
>>
>>27643129
Chitty is a superhero, kinda?
>>
>Changeling
~~~~

>...Huh.

Nothing else really came to the mind of the sole changeling sitting all alone in his tent, his sole piece of privacy he had ever really had.

The letter in his hooves had been delivered to him only a minute ago, the very first one he had ever received in his entire life.

At first, he thought it a mistake, that it had been intended for one of the more important changelings, like Commander Forty Two or even the strange favorite, Jugglejack. The thought that he of all changelings would receive one seemed silly, before today.

Had the carrier not been insistent, he would have sent it away. That it had been in fact for him had brought nothing but confusion.

When he had opened it, very little of that confusion cleared up.

>...Huh...

The letter was from a very special pony, to understate it as best he could. A pony unlike any he had ever met, and one he had found he had come to truly respect.

Not to the level of the Queen, that would be traitorous, but certainly above and beyond what most ever came close to.

That she had sent him a letter at all was confusing enough. It had taken some searching to find someone willing to read it to him who would keep the secret, as he could not read himself, but when he did, the contents inside blew even that clear away.

She had made an offer, and one he wasn't quite sure he knew how to respond to.

What it meant, what it could mean, was quite big. So big, his head spun just thinking about the vastness of it.

Even so, there was something tempting about the offer.

>...Well, what do you say, guys?

The ones he asked could never answer back, not verbally at least.

Somehow still, he felt like there was an answer to be found in the way the tall plant behind him swayed ever so slightly without any wind.

1/2
>>
>>27644532

It wasl quite tall, and very healthy, but even he could see their pot, much as he had tried, simply were not cutting it anymore.

They were growing bigger than he had ever thought they would, and they needed more room.

>Interesting... what about you? You can chime in too.

Tucked away in the back, just as healthy, a much smaller plant seemed to peek out from the corner of the other, unmistakable, and unable to hide. It's warm, green glow gave it away.

It was not as tall as it's kin, having fallen behind as it had been growing, but it was catching up. The curious glow, if anything, had only grown brighter.

>...So, that's how it is? Well, can't say I can argue with that.

What they had said was for him to know, and only him.

>I wonder, how big are you guys going to get?

He had asked that question a million times before, yet it had always been filled with nervousness and fear.

This time, when he said it, he looked to the sky, and the clouds beyond.

There was no fear in his voice.

>Only one way to find out...
>>
>>27644544
Dare I dream a happy ending to this?
>>
>>27644544
The plant lives!
>>
Night, thread
>>
>>27645536
See you soon, anon...
>>
>>27645920
... that came off like a threat.
>>
File: large.png (146KB, 1280x939px) Image search: [Google]
large.png
146KB, 1280x939px
I'm tired since this took me all night to make and the only reason I made it was because of pure whimsy, but it's done.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B0nI0ysBiJS5UGFaOFNTMFJtMnc
Assuming it works, you're going to want to fullscreen it. I haven't quite figured out resolutions yet.

I'd rather let people extract it and find out for themselves as to what is it, but if you're worried that it's something bad, I'll spoiler what it actually is..
It's a simple visual novel of a LNPP story.

Sleepy time now.
>>
>>27646410
.....holy shit!

I have no idea if it works, but I'm checking thus iut!
>>
>>27646498
If you get it to download tell me, it's been freezing mid download all morning for me.
>>
>>27646519
I did, it's adorable. It's just a test right now, even only used block stuff, but it's a fascinating beginning. I can't wait to see where he goes with this.
>>
>>27646410
Pretty simple but has me fucking hyped for what can come next.
>>
>>27646410
Fascinating concept, Color Me interested.
>>
>>27646410
Damn, excellent work for a test.

...romance is when?
>>
>>27646410
I'm gonna hold off downloading till there's more meat to it, but Im intrigues.
>>
>>27646410
Where is the sex!?

This is nothing like my Japanese games!
>>
>>27646410
>A /pa/ VN
We just love branching out into all kinds of media don't we! I revel in it!
>>
>>27646410
I need a Tablet... like right fucking now.
>>
>>27646410
Well, since you gave the okay...

INTO THE WIKI IT GOES!
>>
https://derpibooru.org/1178134?scope=scpeb61a0803e3f7e1ac56d815aa89b274e5c49cb098

Oh wouldja look at that
>>
>>27647371
Next thread OP!
>>
>>27647371
>Ah've got all the apples!
>>
>SA
"Pinkie"
'Two'
~~~

>Alright, this is feeling off.

"Shiny, come on! It's the perfect sort of game for her."

>I don't know, something about this feels... weird.

"Look, it's a basic concept. You like your comics, don't you?"

>That I do.

"Well, this is like a comic book, but depending on the dialog choice you make, you jump to a different page to get a different result!"

>So it's like a choose your own adventure book... but with pictures?

"Right!"

>Huh. Actually, that doesn't sound too bad.

"...andyougettodateponiessometimes."

>PINKIE NO!

"Wait, you understood that!?"

>Yep.

"Uh... well, it's not that bad."

'Shiny? Should Ah' tell the lady she's got a nice cutie mark, or ask for her name? Ah' do like it, it's a dolphin! But Ah' might need that name iffin' Ah' wanna keep talkin'... these choices are hard!'

>...

"She could use these skills for OnO lateeerrrr..."

>...Ask for her name.

'Kay!...Oh shoot, Ah' got slapped, guess she's got an embarrassing name. Sorry!'

>Yeah, that sounds about right.

"...I could learn so much from you..."
>>
>>27647580
>Is the worst at dating
>Yet got with Cadence

That's how you know it was meant to be.
>>
>>27646410
I'm just listening to the music right now, its been like an hour or two now.
>>
>>27646410
Excellent start, man. Hope you're going to do more with it.
>AJ
"Chrysalis"
'Cadence'
~~~

>...What!?

'What?'

"Okay, I'm going to actually join with Applejack here, what!?"

'What?'

>Yer' seriously sayin' with a straight face that, in the event we find someone practicin' SLAVERY, we ain't supposed to go blow them up right then and there.

"Even I'd just blow up the whole thing."

'Well... no?'

>Who are ya', and what have ya' done with Cadence?

"This is a legit concern, I'm standing proof of that."

'Look, I'm not saying it's okay or you shouldn't eventually put a stop to it, I'm saying that just blowing up a king or Queen or princess or whatever ruler of the day is there is going to help. There's bigger factors, subcommanders and those who will rise up in the event one falls down, especially in those types of cities. Just blowing them up isn't going to fix everything!'

>...But Ah'd wanna blow them up though.

'So would I, but... okay, it's like this, if you found an Apple tree with Tree Rot on it-'

>You shut your filthy mouth!

'HYPOTHETICAL! In the hypothetical situation you found it, you wouldn't just blow up the tree, right? You'd get rid of the roots first so that it doesn't have a hold, and very carefully remove it because it's sick. You wouldn't just blow it up, the rot is still in the ground and will just come back on whatever you put there next!'

>...That makes way too much sense to me.

"Can I get a metaphor too?"

'You know what I mean, you know how surgical removal of ruling classes work! You used to do it... a lot!'

"I know, but I want one."

'...'

"Please?"

'...It's like if the Hivemind got a really bad changeling-'

"WE'RE ALL DOOMED!"

'...'

"Sorry, hypothetical, right."

'...'

"Proceed."

'...'

"Please?"

>Can ya'll keep it down? Ah'm mournin' the hypothetical apples... *sniffle*...

'...We're still doing the trial run.'

>"DAMN!"

"Almost had her."

>This close!
>>
>>27648029
>Cadence is the reasonable one

STOP

STOPPPP
>>
>>27648068
And Chrysalis/AJ are being cheeky and working together.
>>
>>27646933
>...romance is when?

Considering the primary LNPP characters are Pinkie, Luna, Cadence and DT, I'm... not sure that would work.
>>
>>27648328
>Luna sitting with DT in her lap with Pinkie and Cadence on either side.

>Pink
"Pony"
[Pussy!]

>Luna is sweating bullets.
>>
>Twilight
"???"
~~~

Her nerves had become steel.

The Princess of Friendship felt that same fire in her stomach she had felt on the day she charged horn first to Nightmare Moon. She felt that same inescapable thrall, that need to go forth and do battle to better her world. She felt the power flow through her, and she felt ready.

Her target would never know what hit her.

>FORTY TWO!

"...Yef?"

Mostly because she had been too caught up eating an entire chocolate bunny, for some reason.

>I need to speak with you about something!

"...Okeh."

The changeling strangely resembled a goat as she slowly chewed on the chocolate rabbit, rolling it around in her mouth while never leaving eye contact with the princess.

>Now, I meant.

"Goh feh ih."

The uncomfortable silence only grew more uncomfortable with every chew.

>Can you not do that?

"Noh do wha?"

>The.. the chocolate rabbit thing. Can you not do that? I'm trying to talk.

"Oh..."

Her teeth bit down hard, cutting the thing off right at the head. Strangely, when she did so, the thing let out a sickening snap and crack, before the body fell uselessly to the ground.

"Yeah, that wasn't chocolate."

A second passed. Then a minute, another one on top of that, maybe ten more still after that, with the alicorn continuously staring, never moving, never even blinking, as her look bore right into the very core of the changeling who never broke eye contact.

"...That one not funny? I'm trying to do better at pranks."

>...

"Should I ask Pinkie? I've been meaning to work on it, everyone says I'm too serious-"

>No.

"Too far? I can-"

>No.

"..."

>No, absolutely not. No. No no no no no. No.

"...So! What did you want to talk about-"

>Give me a minute.

The pony took five before she could speak again.

"Sorry."

>I'll give you an E for effort, and will do my very best to pretend that never happened.

"I thank you."

1/2
>>
>>27648618

>Starting over... Forty Two? I need to make a request.

"Go for it."

>I need you to ask your Queen... to let a changeling be a guard.

"Okay."

Had the previous interaction not bee as it had been, that might've taken her off guard.

>Just... just okay?

"Sure, I don't think she'll mind."

>Even though-

"Even though she's paranoid, yes."

>Well, I wish that was the end, but it gets worse. I also need her to... talk with Applejack.

"Oh."

>And...

Even as steely as she was, Twilight could not keep the wince from her face.

>Maybe actually have a discussion and make some... concessions.

"Sure, should be doable."

>...Come again?

The changeling shrugged, either not caring or not even noticing the stricken look on the pony's face. Considering her track record, it was probably the latter.

"Should be easy enough."

>Should be easy enough.

"Yes."

>For Chrysalis... to speak with APPLEJACK... and maybe actually not have everything go her way.

"That is the scenario."

At some point in her life, Twilight would have questioned it. Today was not that day.

>Okay, fine. Thank you.

"Great, glad I could assist you."

>No no, thank you, you're a big help.

"I'm always happy to assist where I can."

>You did great, thanks.

Another longer, uncomfortable silence fell over the pair.

>...How did you make the bone snapping noise?

"I stuck a piece of celery inside the head."

>Oh. That was pretty clever, actually, Pinkie would be impressed.

"Thank you, that praise means a lot."

>Never do it around Fluttershy.

"Why? Do you think she'd faint?"

>She'd do something, alright.

"Are... are you shaking?"

>She'd do something...

"...I enjoy your constructive criticism."

>I can hear the screams from here...
>>
>>27648626
>Socially Awkward Changeling VS not-as-socially awkward pony

I love it.
>>
>>27648752
I love how she's honestly trying to be funnier now. Like, she's making an honest effort at it, she just sucks so hard.
>>
>>27648455
L-lewd
>>
>Actarius
"JJ"
~~~

>Alright, that it, I'm going to blow!

"Already!?"

>Hey, don't you judge me, it's been stressful!

"I just thought you were going to last longer is all."

>Hey!

"Well... I mean, yeah! You see me ready to blow?"

>So get riled up!

"I can't just make it go like that, I need time to get there."

>Well, hurry up! I can't do this for you, get into it! Really get going!

"I'm going, okay? I'm going!"

>...You done yet? Cause I'm ready to-

"Not yet."

>Come on! How long does it take you?

"Normally not this long."

>And what's that supposed to mean?

"Well... sometimes it's hard to blow up with you."

>Oh...

"Yeeeeah... didn't want to tell you, for obvious reasons."

>No yeah, no, I understand.

"..."

>...So did you blow up yet?

"Did you see me blow? It would've been pretty obvious."

>It's hard to see with something blocking it.

"I make noises!"

>Do you?

"Oh, wow."

>Well, you know...

"..."

>Did you-

BOOM!

>There it is! Knew we could pull it off.

"Did you blow up yet?"

>Hm? Oh! Right!

CRACK!

>...Mine didn't work as good.

"Yeah, breaking walls is hard without lasers."

>Well, that's why it's important for you to blow up first.

"..."

>We're going to die in here.
>>
>>27648455
>DT in her lap

Sounds about right, pedo.
>>
>>27649201
It's either that, in her arms, or on her head where there is a phallic protrusion in close proximity.
>>
>>27649080
>And nobody will ever know they were gone
>>
>>27646410
Glorious. May it continue to grow.
>>
>>27648328
>Different dating routes for the different ponies
>Harem end possible
>If you pick DT, you get a game over Screen that is just him staring at you, frowning.
>>
>>27647580
'Alright! I got the best ending!... OH NO! I GOT THE HARMIN' ENDIN'! WHERE DID I GO WRONG!?'

"That's the harem ending, Two, you did..."

>...

"...How... how am I supposed to react, considering you literally are dating someone not your wife? What do you want me to say to this?"

>I want you to go back in time before I had to explain-

'What's a harem?'

>That! GO BACK IN TIME AND STOP THAT!

"...Do you actually think that's something I can do?"

>GO BACK!
>>
>>27649837
The one trick not in Pinkie's reserves, time travel.
>>
>>27643629
I thought it was buttercup having a weird nightmare about rarity.
>>
>>27644176
She didn't get that comic for nothing.
>>
>Spoiled Rich
"Pennydrop"
'Gwen'
~~~

>Darrrrlliiiing!

The elated pony's hooves rock back and forth in sporadic, refined waves as the airship set down, it's ramp already sliding out to usher free the pony and griffon within. Both stepped easy as they stepped down the ramp, power and regalia displayed equally between. Yet, despite their impressive stature, the magenta mare before them looked to them as she had any other of the upper class. Worth her time, worth her attention, but that was all she would give.

>So glad you made it! But I thought it would be a bit later?

The earth pony businessmare scoffed, brushing past her with little pause in her step. On the other side, the Griffon Queen matched her in stride.

"We would have, but it was hard to stomach being in Canterlot anymore."

If it bothered her, it was all too soon forgotten. The spoiled pony was all too quickly matching walking behind them both, chattering away as if nothing happened.

>Ah, yes! That wretched choice by the... ugh, farmer 'princess'. Really, I don't know why she thought she was capable of actually ruling anything, she's a farmer! She belongs growing crops, not dealing with important matters!

There was a slight stumble to the other mare's steps, imperceptible to the other two. She kept walking after that, her face betraying nothing.

"I certainly didn't vote for her."

'You don't vote for royalty, Pennydrop.'

"Maybe we should, I'd be running the place in a month."

>Oh ho! High aspirations, I take it? Well, I can certainly understand those! And I certainly understand being so great, but being stuck in... ugh, some low level place so far beneath you.

Both griffon and pony chose, wisely, not to comment on that.

"Where is Diamond Tiara? Did she make it here already?"

>Hm? Oh, yes, she made it. She's off playing with her little friend. Doing... whatever it is fillies her age do. Dancing? Dollies? Who even knows with that generation.

It was much harder not to comment that time.

1/4
>>
>>27650316

>Not to worry! I'll tell her all about it after we finalize the plans, she'll be fine with whatever we decide.

A single, feathered eyebrow shot up, the griffon's face twisting into an uncomfortable, and quite difficult to pull off with the beak, frown.

'Shouldn't she at least be in the room?'

>For what?

The only thing more unsettling to the mix of fowl and beast than the question was the honest, oblivious sincerity to it.

'So she-'

"Nevermind, nothing that important. We have too much to talk about to linger on it anyway."

The queen shot her friend a look, obviously put off but the abrupt silencing. It was only a single, unmistakable expression when she glanced back that prevented her from showing her what happened when most tried to silence a griffon Queen.

This time, and only this time, she would let it slide.

"We'll just be sure to show her what we're going to be doing next, there's a lot we'll be doing together, as a team... after you've agreed to it, of course."

>Not to worry, I'm very flexible! So long as that swings both ways, of course. After all, it's my poor baby who's going to be at the forefront of your little superhero team to... make Equestria safer? And us more popular, of course.

When she heard the rich mare stumble, she understood.

"We'll try to be fair. Don't worry, it's nothing too dangerous. Mostly just putting on shows, you know?"

>Oh, I love putting her in shows!

'I'm not remotely surprised.'

>You shouldn't be, she swept the beauty competition three years straight, I didn't even have to bribe anyone the last two times!

'Again, not surprised.'

Pennydrop abruptly cleared her voice, sounding suspiciously like she was covering up a chuckle, thankfully just before they reached the massive double doors leading to the meeting room, already set up and prepared.

"Well, miss Spoiled Rich, you had something to show us-"

'Is that seriously her fucking name?'

2/4
>>
>>27650324

The griffon didn't know what bothered her more, Pennydrop smacking a hoof to her face or the mare blinking in confusion.

>Did you think my name was Spoiled? Funny story, I-

"I'm sure you can tell us all about it later, we have business to attend to."

The mare jumped, as if only now remembering why they had been walking to the room the whole time.

>Oh! Right! One second while I get it ready, I'll only be a moment.

Quickly, the mare ducked inside, and it wasn't long before they heard her flicking switches and cursing loudly as she banged on what sounded like an offkilter projector.

'Her name is seriously Spoiled Rich.'

"Don't."

'Spoiled. RICH.'

"Don't do it."

'Who would do that to a child!? That's child abuse right there. I almost feel sympathy for her. I honestly and truly almost feel sympathetic for that mare. Who would fucking look at their child and say "Oh yeah, you know what we should call you? Spoiled! That thing that means 'has gone bad' or 'is badly behaved.' You ponies are monsters, at least the Griffonstone lot only naming their children with names that start with G makes some sense.'

"...Why do they do that?"

'You have no room to question that.'

"Fair enough."

'Good. Now, sympathy aside... when are we going to ditch her so we can go grab Diamond Tiara to see all the fun new weapons that mare will never know about?'

The pony smirked, never having doubted her for a second.

"You know, you say that, but despite acting like... that, she has some surprisingly good ideas."

'You can't be serious.'

"Really, she was the one who approached me. I wanted to turn her away, but she can be quite persuasive with her ideas."

'I'll believe it when I see it.'

3/4
>>
>>27650334

>Alright, it's reeeeaddyyyy~

With a shrug, Pennydrop swung the doors open, and they both stepped inside.

'...Well, I'll be damned.'

>Now before you say anything, I know what you're thinking. What you see behind me seems like a risk, doesn't it? Seems like quite the investment, that could mean quite the loss. However, by the time I'm through, I think you'll agree... it's worth it.

The pony and griffon shared a look, a shrug, and took their seats.

>My dear partners... prepare to be blown away.

It might be worth it after all.
>>
>>27650338
OMAKE! I don't care if it's early I can't pass this up.
~~~

'...Why are you wearing sexy underwear?'

>...

"..."

'...'

>...

"..."

'...ohhhh...'

"Told you, VERY persuasive."
>>
>>27650009
... Actually, I'm half sure there is a NC one shot of her doing that. And even though its NC, its Pinkie Pie were talking here.
>>
>>27650406
'Wait, aren't you married?'

>Okay, let's all be honest, wouldn't it be waaayyyyyy more shocking if I never actually cheated on him?

"...She has a point."

'I've got nothing.'
>>
>>27650465
My headcanon is that she actually is super faithful and nice to Filthy, which is why she gets away with so much shit. Whenever anyone says different, he doesn't believe them.
>>
>>27650649
I fully accept this.
>>
OMAKE!
>29
"MM"
'Zecora'
~Trixie~
~~~

>You know, I find it funny.

"What's that?"

>Now both me and Trixie have been imprisoned! Isn't that silly?

~TRIXIE IS INNOCENT!~

>Yep, we're half convicts in our menagerie! Looks like we'll have to rely on the two of your for the moral compass, eh?

"Oh my, that is funny! Isn't it, Zecora?"

'...'

"Zecora? Isn't it..."

'...'

"...Ohhh..."

'It was a different time that it happened to me! You do not understand that thing you did not see!'

>Alright, alright! Not to worry, my zebra friend! We know it was probably profiling, right?

'...'

~...Really?~

'It's technically not profiling if they catch you in the act. It's... hard to deny the blunt in your mouth as fact.'

>...Gimme some.

'NEVAH!'

>SHARE!

~TRIXIE WANTS HER ALIORN AMULET BACK!~

"What a wonderful bunch an elected official hangs out with..."
>>
>>27650649
That would actually make a lot of sense.

That or he's an asshole too, we just don't see it because he's normally putting on a good face.
>>
OMAKE!
>Buttercup
"7"
~~

>...Uh... where you get this?

"This? You would not believe it, he was just sitting in the middle of a cave, sleeping."

>Huh... and him okay with this?

"Apparently he has a history of psychics doing stuff with his mind. I can't really control him per say, but I can point him kinda?"

>Neat.

"..."

>Him scary.

"Yeah, kinda makes you want to run and hide doesn't he?"

>Is he dragon?

"Uh... sorta."

~SKEEEROOOOONNNNKKKK!~
>>
>>27650919
Or it could have gone this way!
~~~~

>Me thought he would be larger.

"Yeah, not as impressive up close is he?"

>Why you get him?

"Apparently he's good at being really awesome for a little bit and then sucking for the rest of his life... I feel a kinship with him."

>...

~Yo! Way past cool!~

>Yes, blue spike thing, you am way past time when cool...
>>
>>27650954
OR!
~~~~

>...

"Hey, Buttercup! Check it out! I decked out a dragon with laser cannons, isn't that awesome?"

>ME THOUGHT WE WERE SPECIALLLLL! BAAHHHHHHHHhhhhh...

"...The fuck was up with that?
>>
OMAKE!
>Celestia
"Spike"
'Jetset'
~~~

>So, you've come to me to unlock yourselves, have you?

"Yes, princess!"

'We must know, how to unlock our fullest potential!'

>Alright, I suppose I can't hold it off any longer...

*Walks behind them both*
*Lifts one of Spike's spines and moves Jetset's hair*
*Flips switch underneath from "Suck" to "Badass"*
*Suddenly Jetset gets a more kickass coat, new shades, and a shitload of guns*
*Spike grows up to almost Celestia's height and gets a massive sword to go with Chartiy*

"..."
'...'

>All done!

"...Why didn't you do this in the first place?"

>Eh.

'...'

'"..."

'She's... she's not going to answer us, is she?'

"She is not."

'...Okay.'

>Wow, you are HOT! If I wasn't your mother figure, I would totally do both of you at the same time. Alas! It looks like I'll have to watch in sadness as you are ravished by the hottest mares in the world one after another. Sorry, Shiny! Try not to be too hard on Cadence, UNF!

"I... I don't-"

'Just accept it.'

>Yes, just accept it before you wake up.

"Wha-"

*Both wake up*
*They're totally normal*

"Wha-"

>GET GOOD SCRUBS!
>>
>>27651049
Channeled pure Trollestia there.
>>
>>27651049
Fly away, sides, you are no longer needed here....
>>
>>27651008
ORRRR!
~~

>WHAT THE FUCK AM THAT!?

"This is going to sound really weird, but..."

~GRAPE APE! GRAPE APE!~

>...So him just a big purple ape who like grapes?

"That's his whole thing, yeah."

>That....

"Kinda dumb, isn't it?"

>Little bit?

"Yeah, well, cartoons used to be different, way suckier. Unlike now... oh hey! By the way, I'm pretty sure the princess is pregnant! Isn't that going to be neat? I bet it won't be an alicorn though, because we care about consistency!"

>...

"...Just look at the fucking gimmick ape."

~Grape ape!~
>>
OMAKE!
>Luna
"Celestia"
~~~

>Huzzah! We're finally in a storyline! In the main cast even! We're doing things!

"Oh yay, only took you a hundred threads."

>... Can't you let me have this?

"All yours, take your single bite and enjoy it... mmmm, victory."

>....this is why mom doesn't call.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"
>>
UNLOCK CHECK!
Does Applejack prefer organically grown apples?
Yes... just don't tell her about the other kind.>>27624608
>Can't read Pinkie's pokerface!
You can shoot it though.>>27622421
>Celestia can be so smug towards Luna sometimes.
Luna can bring it right back though. >>27651160
>Tree Hugger was like...whoa.
Channeling keanu there.>>27583531
>Octavia makes and drinks tea in the shower like normal ponies.
Unlike that weirdo Cloudchaser. >>27604817
>The CMC will take any reason to do a booty shake.
Shake shake shake! >>27625287]
>grape fanservice!
Grape.. ape? That's some throwback fanserivce.

One left!

>We have a special guest star, Britneigh Spears!
>>
>>27651187
I got it!
OMAKE!
>SA
"Pinkie"
'???
~~

>Alright, what did you want to show me, and why couldn't Two be here?

"Because, silly! Reasons!"

>Ah. Of course.

"But seriously, I need an opinion on an upcoming act."

>Oh, I guess that makes more sense. What's the act?

"It's called bring back the good old days! Gentlecolt and... other voices in his head because he's the only one here, I GIVE YOU BRITNEIGH SPEARS!"

'Clip me filly one more time!'

>EEEEEEEEE! OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH! YOU ACTUALLY GOT HER!? Oh my gosh, back in my teenage years I loooooved you! Seriously! I was so super into you, I had posters and everything! I listened to your music and I didn't give a fuck who knew! I loved it!

'That's great to hear!'

>Yeah, I- oh, wow... that was a long time ago, wasn't it?

'Sure was, but I still got it! Say, bet you had fantasies back in those days, eh?'

>...yeah.

'Well.... wanna make some of them a reality?'

>...nnnnope.

'...'

>You got way less hot.

'I KNOOOOOHO HO HOOOOO! BAHHHHHHH!'

"Okay, so... making a note of that for the show."

>Time... will destroy us all.

'BUHHHHH!'
>>
>>27651260
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!
>>
>>27651260
That actually would've been fine as a regular entry.
>>
>>27651476
Fun fact, it was! I wrote it like three days ago for that exact PProph just before bed.

Then I saved it, and said I would get to it in the morning.

Then I didn't.
>>
>>27651496
Know that feel...
>>
OMAKE!
>Cadence
"AJ"
'Chrysalis'
~~~

>So... is it weird we're doing stuff?

"Yeah, this is kinda weird."

'Cool though.'

>...I miss the explosions.

"OH GOD DO I MISS THE EXPLOSIONS!"

'SO MUCH POLITICS AND NO EXPLOSIONS!'

>MAKE THE EXPLOSIONS HAPPEN FOR FUCKS SAKE!
>>
OMAKE!
>SA
"Pinkie"
'???'
~~~

"Hey, hey Shiny, guess what-"

>NO!

"No wha-"

>Stop! Stop stop stop! No more cheeky stuff, okay!? We did that bit! We did the thing where I don't know what's what! All done! It's all done! No more! We're not going to dally any longer, we're not going to get sidetracked, and we're not going to abruptly cut away! We're sitting here, right here, and we're revealing who the fuck that is! It's been a month! This happens at the end of a thread only! No more, Pinkie!

"Well-"

>No more!

"You sure? We could do it again. I know you like that!"

>What I like or do not like, and how hypnotic or not hypnotic your jiggle is, is not up for debate! We're revealing this, and we're dealing with it! Now, not later! Not later you understand me, NOW!

"You suuuure?"

>YES! And I swear if what follows this isn't an action line, I WILL LOSE MY SHIT!

"Ohhhhkkaaay!"

Reluctantly, the pink pony pointed.

To another, much more angry, pink pony.

'SHINING! I THINK WE NEED TO HAVE A TALK!'

"I waaarned you."

>...C-Cadence? But... uh... d-don't forget, you signed a contract-

'I DON'T RECALL IT SAYING YOU COULD HAVE SEX WITH ALL OF THEM!'

She turned, and pointed.

To the long, long, long line of characters behind her, each one that had been a step on his journey.

>...

'WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!?'

>...Pinkie, cut to black.

'OH NO YOU DON'T! YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY THIS TIME!"

>PINKIE CUT TO BL
>>
>>27651640
YOU BASTARD! COME BACK!
>>
>>27651671
Annnd, dis is bump. Reminder, this was suggested as next OP >>27647371

and we got unlock.
>>
>>27651684
>and we got unlock.

While we wait for that, how's about a piping hot NEW THREEEEAD! >>27651717
>>
PP ANON, YOU ARE NEEDED!

ARISE!
>>
File: achievement_144.gif (10KB, 425x78px) Image search: [Google]
achievement_144.gif
10KB, 425x78px
>>27651915
You know one of these days when the thread is going to end I'm going to glance back at the thread and it won't be coincidentally someone is summoning me.

>>27651187
https://www.myinstants.com/instant/achievement-unlocked/

What happened this thread? Was asleep a good chunk of the end.
>>
>>27651977
While Applejack, Chrysalis and Cadence join forces to make Equestria and everywhere else better, Sunset and Chitania make their first move at retaliation!
>>
Pinkie Preview
>Pinkie
~~~~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8uSLrQDAfs
>While Applejack, Chrysalis and Cadence join forces to make Equestria and everywhere else better, Sunset and Chitania make their first move at retaliation!
>Let Applejack mark on your map. I'm checking them. Rainbow Dash wants to come inside. Fluttershy almost reveals her inner weaboo. Harry convinces an Ursa Minor to leave, but it's a little awkward. The CMC made some money! We have a special guest star, Barley Sheen! Find out what happens next time on thread 145: Apple Agreements...and of course tape fanservice!
Thread posts: 506
Thread images: 15


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]

I'm aware that Imgur.com will stop allowing adult images since 15th of May. I'm taking actions to backup as much data as possible.
Read more on this topic here - https://archived.moe/talk/thread/1694/


If you need a post removed click on it's [Report] button and follow the instruction.
DMCA Content Takedown via dmca.com
All images are hosted on imgur.com.
If you like this website please support us by donating with Bitcoins at 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties.
Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site.
This means that RandomArchive shows their content, archived.
If you need information for a Poster - contact them.