Princess Applejack

>>27517724
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Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack

Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here:https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27463354
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki

Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started?
Check out character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650

Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing
And finally, while most of the thread is very much clop free, we have a pastebin in case you're feeling a little more naughty with your writing, find it here. http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessAJAfterDark please upload any like it to a pastebin so they can be added out of thread.
And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!

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First for Applepie.

>>27517751
>Pinkie/AJ is going to be canon someday
>You can't stop it.

>>27517765
>Implying anyone wants to

>>27517751
Ohhh myyyyy~

OOCO
>AJ
"Celestia"
~~

>Tia? Gotta question.

"And I have your little sister! If you ever want to see her again, you'll have to go through my intricate maze to-"

>Ya'll can keep her, you'll be beggin' me to take her back before sundown.

"Harsh."

>But as ta' mah' question, why don't we know nothin' bout dragons?

"They live alone, don't like ponies, make a point of being assholes to everyone, and literally live off the motto that they don't like having friends. This isn't complicated."

>Yeah, but ain't there like government that we can talk to?

"There is a quote unquote 'dragon lord', who is a raging asshole, and that's about it. He hates ponies, so talking to him is not happening."

>That's it? There ain't a dragon king or something?

"That's it. No kings or queens or gender neutral titles. They don't even live together."

>That's...

"Kinda disappointing, I know."

>...

"That your question?"

>Guess so?

"Huh, so I actually answered one, and it isn't my fault?"

>True.

"...The worlds going to end, isn't it?"

>Any second now.

>>27517751
But would it work?

>>27517918
First chuckle of the thread and not even ten posts in, ha.

>SA
“42”
~~~

>So, how’s guarding 32 going?

“He has a freakish amount of visitors.”

>…really?

“I’m not even joking, he actually has a crazy amount who want to go see him.”

>That… that’s-

“Odd, I know.”

>Well, I mean, it’s not odd for me. I talked to him like the one time, and he was pretty crazy when it happened. Just kinda odd is all.

“For me, this is like finding out someone with an infectious disease gets hugs all the time.”

>I thought you didn’t hate him anymore?

“I don’t, and do not wish him harmed. That said, you’ll have to excuse me for thinking it odd someone willingly wants to be around him.”

>…What is he doing back there?

“I believe it has something to do with me taking a certain part of you into my mouth… or he wants to take it into his mouth, either or is completely viable.”

>You know what, I’m going to say I don’t find your incredulousness out of place.

“I thought you’d see it my way.”

>>27517747
Reminder to self: update character document sheet because we still have Fluttershy's as reading 'currently several dopplegangers are running around'. It's been a minute, eh /pa/ls?

>>27517931
They have a lot of quiet, personal scenes together, notably the Beach Arc one, so superficially it has the seeds to work, but currently is lacking the emotional connection to make it resonate.

>>27517962
Aren't those still running around? We never got rid of them.

>Lightning Dust
"Soarin'
~~

>WOOO! VIP TICKETS BABY!

"I'm so happy for you. To where, exactly?'

>Who even cares? It says it'll have shrimp, and I'm down for shrimp. You know how rare it is to get that stuff up here?

"Probably pretty rare, since we have to import it."

>So guess how little I care when there's free shrimp involved.

"Little?"

>Very little, yes.

"So, let me guess, you want us to train the Wonderbolt's while you go off and go to this event?"

>FUCK NO! You're all training while I'm smhoozing, thank you! I want the whole team in eyesight range, do I look like a Rainbow Dash to you?

"She hired you."

>And look where that got her!... Wait, that came out wrong.

"Debatable."

>Just for that, fifty laps!

"Around what?"

>I'll decide that later! For now, pick out my best suit, I'm gonna make sure when that competition comes, they vote ME number one!

"Are they... are they voting? I thought it was-'

>NOW, SOARIN'!

"...You're going to regret this."

>>27518008
Are they really? I honestly can't even remember at this point, it's been so untouched and forgotten.

>>27518084
Last time they were mentioned was during Cordyceps, when one was absorbed and prevented Discord from attacking the cordies. It's also the reason FS's attack on Spike only made him stronger.

They might've all been wiped out by the Cordies, though.

>>27518114
So it could have survived by jumping into a Chaos Clone... Right? Cause Chaos Clones are freaky.

>AJ
"Chrysalis"
'Cadence'
~~~~

>Alright, looks like we got the basics down for this at least... even if Ah'm pretty sure ya' kinda skewed the numbers there.

"Moi? Never."

>Ah' was talkin' bout her, which is way more worryin'.

'If by worrying you mean amazing!'

>Ah' guess it's also that, yeah?

"So long as I get my cut in the end, I'm good."

>The sign of a great leader, how much she's gettin' paid for the taxes.

"Says the princess who thrives on fucking cakes paid for by the populace?"

>Ah'm not that bad.

"..."

>Ah'm not!

'I could flick a quarter onto your ass, and it wouldn't go anywhere.'

>That's a good thing! That means it ain't big!

'No, that means it's more fat than muscle. It means there's nothing tense in your muscles to make it 'bounce', so instead it's just a flat plop.'

"Unlike mine, thank you."

'I'm not going to debate that, I am going to debate whether or not you are hiding underneath fwooshing.'

"As if! Do I look like Appleass there? I work out."

>Can we please stop talkin' bout rears? Ain't like Cadence got much of one ta' even be talkin'.

'...'

>What? Ya' don't.

'...'

>...What!?

'You have made a powerful enemy today.'

"I think your ass is great."

'You have made an even more powerful enemy today.'

>What does she want?

"According to Shiny, yes."

>...What?!

'I will have my reveeenge.'

>>27518376
>quarter
Bit...? That aside, I can't help but think where each of their asses stand now, from AJ to Celly to Luna to all of 'em.... Wow, haven't thought about that since the high-56 days.

>>27518409
/pa/ is filled with THICC mares.

>>27518409
Celly still got the booty.
Chrysalis still coming up close.
Caddy's got nothin'
Rarity's got a bit of a bump thanks to the fat days.
Aj's got them child bearing hips.
Twi's... mostly eh?

>>27518409
AJ's has probably ballooned since she ain't done shit for physical in a while.

>>27518449
I think what quite clearly needs to happen is a Booty-Off with your esteemed judges 56, Spike, and Shining Armor, and special guest 42.

>>27518492
>and special guest 42.

That is both unfair, yet brilliant.

LAST THREAD RECAP, POLITICS EDITION!
>Thirty Two, at the request of 42, gets put on morphine.
>You pretty much know what happens next.
>Two, 29, JJ/Acty and many others all get an earful of Crazyling.
>The construction pony, still angry her wrecking ball was broken, attacks the embassy to get money for it. In desperation, 88 has Lavan fix it. It works, but now instead of destroying things, it teleports them to the bottom of a deep trench. Which means it works... better?
>After this, 88 heads out to see what 32 is up to, still unaware he was injured.
>Also, there are singing bits invovled.
>The changeling who went off with Photo Finish earlier is now starring in a movie of some kind, and his co stars, a dragon and a griffon, are making it interesting.
>42 is holding up alright, despite how she rants to Shining.
>Twi asks Pinkie what videos she saw, and Pinkie's attempt to cover up the answer fails spectacularly.
>DT tries to get into the subspace room, but is rebuked by someone using it for random stuff.
>Pinkie's reasoning behind wanting to make Chitty and Sunset form a band so they won't be evil has some holes in it.
>As does her thought to throw Chitty a birthday party to lure her out.
>After deciding to no longer question the embassy thing, Chrysalis and AJ resume running from an angry Celestia.
>Derpy and Cloudchaser make a giant out of control stormcloud so they can stop it and be heroes.
>This plan falls apart when they cannot actually stop the thing.
>Sunset swipes all her and Chitty's stuff, having mindzotzed the guards so they never saw her coming.
>Snake Eyes tries to get information out of the assassin, and he succeeds. After boasting such to a guard, he demands to see a princess.
>Chrysalis has no backup plan in case she dies, and this is worrying to AJ.
>Luna skips out on her bill of paying the spa twins after her treasury bond is revealed to no longer be legal.
1/4Four!Andnotmuchhappened!

>>27517724
..... I'm just now noticing this but is she wearing the hair clips that Jetset gave her...?

>>27518564
>Dash hears that LD is currently the favorite for Wonderbolt Captain, and gets back in the game.
>18 turns down the lings when they ask for money to buy guns.
>Aj has Derpy deliver cake ingredients to the cooks, and she pulls it off this time.
>2 tells Mane-iac she and Spitfire can leave, and MI says that Spitfire is taking a nap. After putting a pillow on her face... for a long time.
>It turns out, she's not dead, but when she finds the Crystal Airforce on fire, she wishes she was.
>Aj is looking after Dash this time.
>Daw tries to get in to see Sweet Note, but is rebuked by the guard. She's despondant, until she gets invited to a lunch by none other than Seventy Seven.
>They have a heart to heart, and talk about their troubles, and 77 helps clear up some misconceptions about first impressions.
>Celestia catches AJ, and tries to take her cake, but it gets destroyed.
>A changeling wants to hit witches with a super soaker while they wear shirts... everyone is confused.
>Honey Heart is tricked out of her tree place by a diamond dog, who captures her.
>Aj and Chrysalis talk, and come to the conclusion to make Love the official currency of the changelings, and set up an exchange rate so they can actually get some bits/paid for their work.
>This requires help. Loud, very happy help from the mare who knows love better than anyone.
>Cadence is so very, very, veryyyyy happy she gets to do political math stuff.
>Shining doesn't believe it, but he doesn't want to wake up either.
>Sweetie Doll tries to make her own friends. Somehow, she ends up with Pinkie's old 'friends'.
>The Crystal Ponies, needing questions answered but unwilling to wait for the royal couple to come back, ask the only other one who gets anything done to deal with them.
>18, after MANY times reiterating she is not Cadence, accepts.
>Celly has fun messing with Spike and Jetset, the latter is not appreciative.
2/4

>>27518570
>The Nightguard are off to do something as yet unrevealed.
>Spoiled Rich and Silver Spoon talk, where we learn Spoiled Rich was away because she was 'sick' and 'needed treatment' that Ponyville couldn't supply, SS doesn't buy it for a second.
>Suckerpunch and 41 knock out their opponents by accident
>Screwloose and 12 have a talk, where SL admits that 12 aside she wants to kill all the changelings because of how little they make her feel, and they debate what would happen if all changelings died. 12, strangely, is very accepting of the idea of his species getting wiped out, and thinks Screwloose could pull it off if she put her mind to it. In the end, 12 jokes that the only way to keep her from doing it would be for her to have his kid, as she wouldn't hurt her own child.
>Also, 12 finally finds she has love for him.
>007, at a dead end with his investigation, decides to do something rash, and gets the item he had the Quarry Eel get so very long ago, and Blossom, still hidden, gives him a map to somewhere.
>Chitty is angry she keeps getting left behind.
>The changelings get guns. All is lost.
>Sweet Note, still terrified, gets a visit from Applejack, who first tries to trick SN into talking, but when that doesn't works she switches gears, and instead says she's going to find Chitty and Sunset anyway, and when she does, she's going to tell them it was Sweet Note who lead them to her.
>The mare is horrified, but AJ just keeps going, telling her that locking her up is nothing, and helps nobody, but if she puts out an announcement that SN pointed them in the right direction, they'll get sloppy, mess up, and then she can strike. Sure, Chitty will come after her, and SN knows it, but risking one life to save a thousand others is worth it.
>Since she's going to do it anyway, SN might as well give what she knows, since that way at least she'll get something out of it.
>She's scared, she knows she's doomed, and she knows there's only one thing to do.
3/4Almost!

>>27518583
>"Go fuck yourself"
>Aj is shocked, admitting she thought she'd crack. Strangely, her accent drops right there.
>That all makes sense when her disguise falls away, and it's revealed to be Sunset, who is there to get SN out of there.
>Just before she can, someone comes in the door.
>THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE... has the wrong room.
>Sunset is not amused.
>After she tells Trixie to stop talking in third person, neither is the show mare.
>It's on!

Damn, I'm early! Joy of the thread going down so fast.

As always, missed something, you know the drill.

>>27518589
As always, thanks, /pa/rtner.

>>27518565
I think so, yeah.

It was an art request for the thread, so it makes sense.

>>27518612
NC

>Jet
"Spike"
~~~

>...

"..."

>...

"...Fuck you."

>Heh.

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Whoops, I forgot something.

Pinkie Preview Prophecies

>Why can't Applejack hold all these apples?
>I toast my goat.
>Rainbow Dash sure loves Skittles.
>Can you smell what the Maud is cooking?
>Harry the Bear can be a wizard sometimes.
>Amethyst Star can be such a casual.
>Rarity could have sworn she spotted Sweetie Belle.
>Squirrel fanservice!

>>27518583
Two things
>Lavan's wrecking ball sends buildings somewhere else's ocean, presumably another planet's
>41 and Sucker Punch knocked out two fellow spectators.

>>27518634
I almost thought you meant I forgot those.

Sorry, musta misread in my speed read, really thought 41/SP were in the fight.

>>27517747
The Recut Edition was what again...?

>>27518631
One of you has a gun, Jet.

Remember that.

>>27518704
Early threads in full script format instead of the thread's way, so it's a little easier to read. No wordcount, so full

Applejack: Talking like this.
Chrysalis: And full on.

would be okay.

>>27517918
Dragons mythology is so lame in the show.

Not saying I want generic 'council of elder dragons' or whatever, but damn it's lame.

>>27518768
We'll come up something probably better in due time, when the moment calls for it.

>>27518768
Eh, I kinda like it, because there's a simplicity to it.

In every other media, Dragons are these ancient, larger than life monstrosities who are either super wise and smart or super evil and diabolical, they're always presented in such a way that they're one of the most magical and special things ever.

Here? They eschew all that, and cut down to the basics. They like gems and gold, they like to fight, they like power, the end. There's not elder coucil who's thousands of years old and talk like they're sci-fi robots who were programmed by Shakespeare, they're just big, loud and powerful beasts. Not the be all end all, but certainly nothing to sneeze at, and nothing most ponies could hope to hurt.

It's special by being so normal.

>>27518823
Its actually more or less what traditional dragons WERE.

Normal dragon lore in the past wasn't this super magical species of lizard wizards, it was just greedy monsters that hoarded wealth and kidnapped and ate maidens.

The idea of Dragons being ancient and magical or wise is just a pop culture thing that stuck, like Orks as a race being invented by tolkien and not being from actual mythology but being omnipresent now.


I kind of like it.

>>27518849
Depends on the area. Saint George only squared off against a big lizard, but chinese dragons have always been mystical beings, with the Emperor of China himself said to be a dragon in human form. Funny you mention Tolkien, Smaug is probably the reason for a lot of the current dragon status thanks to the Similiron fluffing out his backstory to make him more than just the guy on a bunch of coins

>Actarius
"JJ"
~~~

>...Uh... why are we in the kitchen?

"I'm not, I'm in the foyer."

>What? You were just right beside me!

"I stuck my head in a door and I don't know what happened."

>Damn it, you know to leave sticking heads in places to me!

"I know, but I wanted to try it, and now I don't know what's happening!"

>Look, I'll come after you, just... how is this the office!? Why!?

"Acty it's dark."

>Don't panic, just trust me and everything will be fine!

"That's what you said last time, and I still have rope burn!"

>I didn't know what I was doing, okay!?... Okay, let's try over here- the bathroom!? Why is the bathroom over here?!

"Oh, thank goodness, I need a shower."

>Are you really thinking about that at a time like this!?

"I'm sticky."

>How?!

"I spilled syrup on myself."

>...where the heck did you get syrup?

"From the closet."

>Why... why was...

"I'm in the pool room now."

>We don't have a pool room!

"I mean a room with a pool table."

>Still don't have that!

"Well, now you do."

>What is going on-

SPLASH!

"You okay?"

>We have the other kind too, apparently.

"WHAT IS WITH THIS PLACE!?"

>...which way is out?

"..."

>...

>"OH SHHHHHIIIIII

>>27518589
You forgot
>Quicksilver is revealed to be alive.

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>>27517931
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"AJ"
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie! It's during this time that content does matter, but I need to answer a question.

"Howdy."

>The question is...would it work?

"...would what work?"

Pinkie gives AJ a kiss and a wink.
>The answer is yes~!

AJ wakes up blushing.
"...uh was it all a dream?"

>>27518888
Chinese dragons honestly shouldn't enter into the discussion, because apart from superficial similarities (both being large lizards) they're really not the same beings honestly.

Its kind of like saying that a troll's have regeneration so its cool for Ogres to have regeneration too since they're so similar in purpose in folklore.


Its kind of like D&D specifically kept wyverns as different from its "normal" dragons and introduced some more feral dragons later on since they realized how different different cultures "Dragons" are

>>27518849
Not true, dragons in the old times were literally heavenly beings on par with the greatest warriors of heaven who fought against god.

The most famous one is the "Great Red Dragon" from Revelations. AKA, The Devil.

Yes, the Devil is actually a dragon. He is seriously called that.

>>27519244
That's a metaphor and only applies to satan specifically, not dragons in general. Like Jesus is a lamb, not all lambs are literally god.

>>27519244
>Yes, the Devil is actually a dragon. He is seriously called that.
Huh! Consider my surprised that I'm not the only one here who knows that.

>>27518817
Dragons assembling to get revenge on Chitty for taking out one of their own, and AJ has to get diplomatic to prevent a full scale war, no pun intended?

and then she fails and we get Aj/Chitty Vs the dragons

>>27519271
wait, how the fuck is "one of satan's descriptions is a red dragon" not common knowledge?
Does everyone's knowledge of christian symbolism come from like FF7 and evangelion nowadays or some shit?

>>27519279
Oh yeeeeeah... Chitty did fuck up some dragons earlier on, didn't she? Hm, not a bad premise, sounds like it could be equal parts humorous and action-packed.

>>27519294
It wouldn't surprise me nowadays.

>>27519279
I'd be down for that, might actually give Spike a reason to be a character again.

>>27519279
>More Kaiju fights

I'm in.

>>27519423
It'd be a nice dynamic for Spike, first going against his kind and then helping Chitania fight them.

But, seriously, we've built Chitania to stupid standards levels of strength. It can be funny, yeah, but how are the dragon's supposed to pose a legit threat?

>>27519501
>Chitty's winning
>A REALLY FUCKHUGE DRAGON shows up
>"...oh, shit."

Problem solved!

>>27519279
I like it, but why would AJ handle that?

I guess it would be explained in the story, but I'm just mentioning that so we don't go 'Let's make AJ be the one who does this even though she is objectively the worst at this.'

>>27519589
You can't get better without practice. And shoot, by the time we get there, maybe she'll have gotten that 'practice'.

>>27519610
Well to be fair, if you want to practice, you'd do something like the Saddle Arabian visit or something.

Dragons are expert mode.

>>27519623
Agreed, then stack more on top of that to reach expert mode. Because I literally cannot see anyone else fulfilling that role besides AJ or Celly or Gwen or PD, and three of them already have experience in negotiations so it wouldn't be as exciting without that hint of 'oh shit what if this fails?'

>>27518084
Last I remember them being used was to make sure Discord couldn't snap Cordy away. So there is at least the one.

>>27519110
I dunno

I haven't seem ecksnay of the two being like they were In Pinkie Apple Pie or Hearthbreakers

Let alone being even the slightest bit loose or "intimate"

>>27519533
>Oh wait, she pulled some move or power from another obscure Laotian outback snake farming documentaries

>>27519699
Dude, don't, just don't. I'm tired of these fucking arguments about her. Hell I kept myself from doing an omake last time just to make sure it wouldn't happen. They're gonna do what they're gonna do and nothing anyone says is going to stop it.

>>27519699
>>27519734
I was actually thinking this could be the culmination of Spike 'unlocking' himself, both mentally and physically, maybe going full Spikezilla to clench things for them?

>>27519322
With that logic they should still be after spike.

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>>27519734
Who summons me

>>27519501
Considering charity can kill a full grown dragon? You have your work cut out to make this not a curb stomp

>>27519764
They should. That'd also be interesting.

>>27519764
>>27519786
...Fuck, forgot about that, we seriously nerfed them HELLA bad to give Spike a badass moment.

>>27519752
Do whatever you want, I seriously don't care. I'm all kaiju'd out.

>>27519811
We had nerfed them before Chitania walked all over their backs? When was this?

>>27519837
Neither do I, I was never a fan of it, I just want to give more spotlight to Spike considering it would involve his kind.

>>27519811
So we just unnerf them, easy peasy. It's basic story structure, come on.

The fight at Gwen's train with Chitania and the Dragon wasn't a curbstomp, she actually had to think and do more than just hit really hard, so the precedent is there, we just have to actually remember that people want to have fun with the fights.

>>27519764
I was just going off precedent, we already have setup for it with the train scene with the CMC and Idris/his captain being harassed by Gansta-Dragon's crew looking for her. You could include Spike in there, probably, you'd just have to retcon why Gangsta-Dragon knew about Chitty but not about the other dragon thing with Spike, since GD and Spike talked while he was searching for Chitty in the leadup to the train battle. It wouldn't have the buildup, but an "Oh, we're also after you as well by the by" could work.

>Rarity
~~~

Even in her dreaming state, she could hear them. The roars of the crowd, the heat, the anger building in a fire that threatened to rage out of control, and burn everything to the ground. The weight of unconsciousness could not shield her from it, no matter how it tried. It crumbled beneath the storm of their cries, and broke into a thousand pieces at her hooves, joining all the other destruction she had caused in her wake.

In her dreams, she could hear them.

>...Well, I think I've had enough of that.

In her waking moments, she could do so much more.

>I doubt much more beauty sleep is going to help me now.

She didn't need to look at herself to know she was a freight that would send fillies scampering away in fear. For once in her life, she couldn't care in the least.

Even still, when her head rose up slightly, the face that looked back at her from her room's mirror took her breath away.

>You've been given a lot more than you really should have, darling.

A feeling she quashed all too quickly, as she delicately pulled the sheets from her unsightly form.

>Perhaps... it's time we started earning it.

She didn't even want to imagine how her friends would chide her for getting up as she did.

>WAH!

She was just thankful they weren't there to see her chin smack right into the floor.

>...I suppose there's a metaphor in all this.

If there was, she had no time to ponder it. She had to get back on shaky hooves, move past the pain trying to keep her down, and move forwards.

The world was waiting for her.

>>27520018
FINALLY!

Get out there, Rarity!

>>27520018
Bout fucking time.

>>27520134
I bet she looks like a golden brown marshmally... mmmmm... Does Two know about roasted marshmellows?

>>27520018
Unconscious for two threads, Rares. Bout time to catch up.

>>27520304
Yes, she went camping with Shiny once. She discovered smores at the same time.

>>27520313
Ironically, that's how long it took for Shiny to get back on his feet post Chitty arc.

White ponies need their sleep, I guess.

>>27520447
We've seen what happens when Cell doesn't get her sleep, this is a factual statement

>>27518768
At one point I was thinking of going the ancient fallen civilization route with them but...life happened.

>>27519752
That...would be pretty cool.

>>27518768
Could be worse.

Could be their back story is they sold their souls to demons in order to win a war and now every single one of them go to hell to be tortured for all eternity regardless of what they've done in life and even now the souls of dragon children are wailing in that hell despite being killed before they knew what life was.

That would be awful

>>27520668
Dude...let it go. It was bad sure, but no need to pick at the scabs/scars.

>>27520668
>Could be their back story is they sold their souls to demons in order to win a war
That by itself was okay, but what would have made it awesome was then going to kick those demons asses and get back their souls.

>>27520684
>Picking at scabs
>Not just making fun of a part of our history.

Liam Neeson would like a word with you.

>>27520748
No...not Liam. Not him! The power of the handsome...can't...break...gaze.........

>>27519786
We made Shiny Vs Chitty not a curbstomp battle.

This isn't hard.

>>27520835
...that involved a mech and a volcano.

>Chitty
"???"
~~~

>...

"..."

>...

"..."

>...

"..."

>...No, no no no... this is too stupid, even for me. I just put three rocks on top of each other, this is stupid. I cannot lower myself to actually talking to it, no matter how lonely I feel. This is too much.

"Well, fuck you too! I passed up a wonderful dinner date with Misses Fluer for you, asshole! And I thought that one pony was bad for talking for me! HRMPH!"

>...

*Blink*

>GAH!... WHERE DID IT GO!?

"Fuck yooooouuuu...."

>...Sunset come back.

>>27520889
So put her in a location that allows for creative use of the terrain to turn her otherwise overwhelming strength against her, like MechaMothra did by forcing her into the air where she wasn't as capable of fighting back.

Or Twilight did by initially keeping her in the train and twisting it so her trying to go Titan would stab her.

Or Sunset did by being too small to initially seem like a threat

Do we even really need her involved in that idea though? Aside from being the catalyst I mean. She has gotten a lot of fights and screen time. Just a thought but it wouldn't hurt her to sit one out if another catalyst were available.

>>27521016
What if Spike gets wind that the dragons are coming for her? That could create an interesting moral struggle for him, whether he wants to circumvent them or just let them pass, even knowing that since AJ pardoned them and they're totally free, Chitania's technically a citizen and the A-Team helps all citizens, right?

Or something like that.

>>27521016
Does she need to be? No, you could just start over the storyline from scratch and just have the dragons give up looking for Chitty and start looking for Spike. Abrupt it may be, but since it hasn't gone off yet there's time to switch out the catalyst, the focus of the story and all that. It's obviously not a requisite.

Question is if the writer, possibly you, wants to have her sit it out. If the guy writing the setup with Idris wants to keep her in(or the CMC guy is planning a big arc or something, since that dragon said as much in that story), then obviously he can. She fits, has the motivation, and they have the storyline to support it. Whatever you want to do.

It's all about what gets put on paper.

>>27521138
Ehhhh, I'd wanna read it, but I wouldn't wanna write that. I love my Chitty stomping action and my over the top magic blasts and spells, but Spike's harder for me to wrap my head around for action scenes, and it's just less fun.

>>27521290
Chitty's easy to write for, binge watch a bunch of Godzilla movies and you're golden.

With Spike you'd have to make a whole story about him learning to go Spikezilla just to get to the good part. Fistfights are more fun to write than gunfights.

>>27521375
>With Spike you'd have to make a whole story about him learning to go Spikezilla just to get to the good part
We're kind of working on that right now, possibly.

>Fistfights are more fun to write than gunfights.
I beg to differ, man. Creativity rules both those types of fights.

>PD
"Gwendolyn"
~~~~

>...I think we overdid it.

"Nonsense, that crater looks exactly like it did when we got here. We barely left a scratch."

>That was a plateau.

"You're clearly remembering it wrong."

>...So are you-

"Cutting off trade to Equestria completely? Yes. Yes I am."

>Is your husband-

"Idris can either accept it or be punched in the face repeatedly until he agrees."

>I think that's spousal abuse.

"Not to griffons, that's how we say I love you."

>So if he hit you-

"I'd tear his fucking wings off."

>...

"Lovingly."

>...I like hanging out with you.

"It's a delight!"

>>27521421
Besides which it doesn't even have to be a straight gun or fist fight. At this point he has a number of options.

>>27521290
I don't think I could. Which is weird, I LOVE writing for DT and her crazy ass weapons, you'd think I could write for Spike, but nope. Four failed attempts over three months later, I pretty much gave up. You know how some anons say they just can't write Chrysalis or DT because they don't like their personality? I think that's my problem with Spike, I just don't like either his show personality or his Early Thread personality, and trying to pick traits out between the two doesn't work.

If I had the time, I'd sub in DT tracking down the dragons attacking trains instead of Chitty just to give her another action scene, but sadly I just ain't got it.

>>27521375
>Fistfights are more fun to write than gunfights.

All bout how it's written when you read it, obviously. A good gunfight trumps a meh fistfight everytime for me personally. That said, I get what you mean that it's more fun for you, and I understand. Gunfights are so wildly different in how you have to write them it's really offputting if you enjoy kinetic action and clashing.

>>27521520
>You know how some anons say they just can't write Chrysalis or DT because they don't like their personality?
Being one of those anons, I understand completely, and while I still can't pen a damn thing for DT, Chryssy is admittedly getting easier.

>>27521375
>With Spike you'd have to make a whole story about him learning to go Spikezilla just to get to the good part.

That's not a bad thing, proper buildup and all that, but yeah. Have to actually want to write it, and Spike's a little short there.

>>27521520
Awwww, I would've liked more DT fun. Or Spike fun. Or Chrysalis fun.

I just like action in general.

i liked writing spike but I don't really want to try writing anything too heavy for him again. It's really quite difficult. I'd really like to Read something where he busts out his arsenal before being forced to do spikezilla and have it work this time, maybe even gain control of it, but the time required for plotting, creating the setup, drafts, rewrites, putting it out there and then trying to tweak it again base on feedback so it can be cannon...woof. That'd eat several weekends.

>>27521775
I see what you did there.

Even Pinkie would be embaressed.

>>27521853
Yeah, and if you're not into it, it would be a slog.

>18
"Crystal Pony"
~~~

>NEXT!

"About the Crystal Berries, I'm worried the soil is going to be a bit too thick this year, can we import something a little nicer?"

>Fine, I'll review the Saddle Arabian topsoil agreement and see if I can secure you a transit. In the meantime, focus on growing the other crops.

"...other crops?"

>Yes, the things you grow instead of Crystal Berries.

"..."

>FOR FUCKS SAKE!

~~~~

"My house's foundation is crumbling!"

>How!? How is that happening!? It's made of crystal!

"Your guess is as good as mine."

>Uggghh... I'll send a team to repair it, and file it under infrastructure repair so it doesn't fall on someone.

"Er, in that case, can you send them out today?... Or in the next five minutes-"

>NEXT!

~~~~

"They revoked my visa to the Griffon Kingdom! I spent thousands of bits on my travel there already prebooking my stay!"

>We're currently in a diplomatic strife with the Griffon Kingdom, can you just go to Griffonstone instead?

"Well... so long as it's covered."

>Trust me, we can affford it.

"What does that mean-"

>NEXT!

~~~~

"Does my baby look fat?"

>...WHAT?

"I'm just worried he-"

>NEXT!

~~~~

"I want a divorce!"

>Do... do you need royalty for that?

"It's part of my religion."

>What religion is that?

"Oh! I'd love to share my literature and the word of the holy star-"

>NEXT NEXT NEXT!

~~~~

"WHAT ARE WE MADE OF!? Do we have organs!? Do we function!? Are we golems!? How do we work?!"

>...

"..."

>...

"..."

>...NEEEEXXXTTTT

>>27520018
>Rarity is determined to do right.
I'm scared.

>>27522174
>Sending ANYONE to Griffonstone

Christ almight, you are not getting them back!

>>27521426
Good news for Rainbow Dash, I guess.

>>27522270
I... don't think she gets to call doover after admitting she needs to prove herself.

>Sorry about that, we have nothing on the line, I'm captain again! BOOM BABY!

>>27522219
Oh please, when has that ever gone wrong?

>>27522380
NC
>Rarity
~~~~~

>I know, I'll try to give a child an icecream cone, get back into the swing of things-

~~~~~~Four years later~~~~~~~~

>That was when the bombs fell, and everyone died. I... I still remember the screams...

>>27522661
Snorted like an idiot. I just... how, man, how?

>>27522678
There were 31 flavors. She picked the 32nd.

>Watchdog
"Siegfried"

>Can we get out of the damn hole yet?

"Not until I'm sure she's gone!"

>It's been like a whole day!

"She's tenacious!"

>She's your mom!

"That's why we're in the hole!"

>It's why YOU'RE in the hole!

"Oh like your mom was an angel!"

>...my mom held off a rabid rockodile when I was a pup so me and my brothers and sisters could escape.

"...uh...sorry dude."

>Why? She won.

"Damn...wait how does a thingy made of rocks get rabies?"

>Shut up, that's how!

"Look, I'm just saying, if we're going out, you go first."

>Problem there. You're perched on my head like a damn pigeon.

"Racist."

>Mama's boy.

"YOU! TAKE! THAT! BACK!"

>Maybe if you actually, I dunno, showed some guts and talked to her like a man, I would. Instead you're hiding in a hole, something a lion doesn't do and an eagle damn sure doesn't do.

"Ok! Fine!"

Flapflapflap!

"Mom! You...are no longer here."

>...I hate you so much right now.

"I love myself a lot, so it balances out."

>>27522775
Oh shit, they're alive!

I was beginning to wonder.

>>27522661
>Okay, how about helping an old lady across the street-

~~~~~~

>ALRIGHT! FOR FUTURE REFERENCE! DOUBLE CHECK FOR SUICIDE BOMBERS!.... THOSE ARE A THING APPARENTLY!

>>27523089
...this is scary plausible.

>>27522174
I do not know how they are going to feel when they get back. But I have the feeling they're going to be a little bit sad.

>>27521853
>I don't really want to try writing anything too heavy for him again. It's really quite difficult.
Really? I find it pretty easy to keep it light hearted and avoid putting Spike in anything heavy unless you're talking about a dense plot. I'm meh, about Spikezilla, but I do enjoy writing action for him. I've got one in the works right now, but it's going to be a one-shot OoOC story.

>>27521520
I just treat him like he's as cool as Spike from Cowboy Bebop and go from there.

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I guess there's going to be another one-shot

OoCO
>Spike
"Rarity"
'Earth Pony'
~~~~
Spike is in a mall plaza at a table eating fries and wears a coat. He's glancing at another pony nearby.
>So is that her?

"I can't see, darling. You're going to have to point Charity's sight to what you're looking at."

>Oh right.
Spike points Charity from underneath his coat at the pony in question.
>We really should have a better way for you to see.

"Maybe I'll enchant a pair of sunglasses for you in the future, but we'll work like this for now...anyway, she seems to match the description. Iron Snatch. Right ear burned, yellow coat, teal mane. Obsessed with the Orange Julius. Multiple counts of armed robbery and heavily collaborated with Caramel Sandiego. If we get her, we'll be one step closer to finding Caramel Sandiego."

>Iron Snatch...hmmm...do you think she has an iron-

"Please...don't finish that sentence."

He chuckles.
>Hey, you were thinking it too.

"Okay, we've identified her. We should inform the local authority for back up."

>What? We are the authority. It's one pony. I could get her now.

"That's true, but she's dangerous and having back up would-"
Spike walks up to Iron Snatch.
"impatient."

>A-Team. As a Royal Equestrian Agent, I'm placing you under arrest.

'Ohoho...so they've sent the dragon of the crown after me...or should I say dog? Either way, I sure feel special.'

"Why you- Don't call Spike a dog you-"

>Actually we're more interested in the whereabouts of Caramel Sa-
Metal fingers extend from Iron Snatch's hooves and she draws a pistol. Spike flips the table over as she fires and he uses it as cover. Everyone nearby starts running and screaming.
*BANG BANG BANG*

'You're not arresting me today, dog!'
*BANG BANG BANG*
She starts running up the stairs.

"Spike, are you okay?"

>I'm fine. She's doing the fun part. Resisting Arrest.

Gnight thread.

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OoCO
>Spike
"Rarity"
'Iron Snatch'
~~~~

He runs up the stairs after Iron Snatch.
*BANG BANG*
Spike ducks behind a janitor's cart. He spots Iron Snatch hiding behind a trash can and returns fire.
*BANG BANG BANG BANG*
The trashcan explodes into debris as papers and wrappers fly. The fingers on her other hoof extend and she pulls out a second pistol firing back with both. She hits a mop and bucket of water flooding the floor.

>Ah, so she's Iron Snatch because of her hands not her-

"Careful the floor is wet."

He reloads.
>Uh, I don't think that's exactly a big deal, but-
Iron Snatch starts running again and Spike swings the cylinder shut.
>I can't let her get away.
Spike jumps on the cart letting it roll forward while he fires. Iron Snatch turns around and also fires.
*BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG*
Iron Snatch's metal hands are shot and she drops her pistols.

'Damn!'
She throws a hand at Spike.
*bang*
Spike shoots it and ricochet it back.
'Argh!'
The hand hits her face and she gets knocked to the floor. Spike walks up to her as she clutches her bloody nose.

>Ready to cooperate?

'...heh...you're pretty good kid.'

"Only the best."

'...did your gun talk?'

>Never mind that. Tell me about Caramel Sandiego. Where is she.

'She won't be happy if I squeal on her.'

>You've been a pretty bad pony. We can make a deal if you work with us. I have generous friends who can offer a lot of protection.

'Hm, I bet you do...fine. I hated working for Caramel anyway.'

>Alright lets go.
Spike starts walking Iron Snatch back with her hooves up.

'If you want to know about Caramel, you should- oh careful the floor here is weeeeeeet!'
She slips on the wet floor and tumbles down the stairs, limbs flailing.
*CRACK CRACK CRACK*

Spike and Charity peek over the stairs.
>"..."
Iron Snatch is motionless and her limbs are bent in ways not meant to be bent.

"...so much for our lead on Caramel Sandiego."

>...*sighs* I guess I'll call for a meat wagon.

>>27523791
>I just treat him like he's as cool as Spike from Cowboy Bebop and go from there.

Nah, that's trying to hard

>>27524235
Morning, anin!

>>27524168
I feel like I should put poro music at the end...

>>27525812
Oh yes... she loves resisting arrest...

>>27526122
>Oh yes... she loves resisting arrest...

"Are you waiting to receive my clenched ponut?!"

>>27526192
>Unh...unh...unh...I can see why you're called Iron Snatch.

>SA
"Pinkie"
~~~~

"SHINY!"

>Hey, Pinkie. Wow, we have not talked in a while.

"Right!? Everybody in the whole wide world just went crazy!"

>And you know crazy.

"Not this kind of crazy! This is the bad kind of crazy, the waaaahh kind of crazy!"

>Yeah, but what're you going to do? Part of life and all that.

"Get wings, become an Alicorn, take over the world and force everyone to party all the time!"

>Uh huh.

"That's plan A, by the way."

>Well, if you figure out how to get those wings, tell me? I'd love to get in on that one.

"Awww, no worries Shiny! If I get wings, of course I'll bring you along, I can't leave my adventure buddy behind!"

>You know what? Thanks, I appreciate that.

"Yep. I want you to be right there when I tell your great great grandchildren about the time my daddy punched you into a mountain-"

>This all became a lot more clear.

"Yep, you and me through eternity, just talking about the crazy times and making so much more! And partying all day!"

>Sounds like fun.

"Wanna go do something crazy now?"

>Ehhh, I should probably go do official stuff, actually.

"Plllleeeassee?"

>Hmm, fine, one crazy thing-

"I already have the fireworks!"

>I immediately regret my words-GAH!

"Too late! LETS DO THIS!"

>>27526423
Oh, I missed these two...

>>27526466
One of the best things S-Anon ever did, in my honest opinion, was making them adventure bros.

>29
"42"
~~~

>Ahhh! Mine long forgotten warrior kin! So nice to look upon thine powerful visage again, it has been far too long a time since we saw one another! Tell me, hath the hive ceased in their Lamentations of my departure? I know to be bereft of me for such a time was a regret, but it had to be done! For I have traveled out into the world, seen much, and done much more! I have seen wonders... and horrors! Speak to me again, mine kin, so that I may remember more vividly the times we had!

"..."

>...

"..."

>...Er-

"Shut up."

>Uh-

"I'm not joking."

>...

"..."

>...I forgot how scary you were.

>>27526564
Forty Two takes NO SHIT.

NONE.

>>27526586
To be fair, he never really showed her he's not shit, every interaction with her involved he's been a raging cuntwaffle.

>Sunset
"Trixie"
~Sweet Note~
~~~~

It should have been simple.

The moment the pony had walked in, she knew exactly what to do. Three steps, that's all it would have taken. Neutralize her with a telekinetic grab before she could react, hold her steady long enough to use the changeling's mind magic to erase all memory of this event, carefully set her down outside and send her on her way to do whatever it was she would have done. All would have been as it should be in the blink of an eye, that's all it would take.

There was just one problem.


"SO! THE STUDIOUS AND SLEUTHING TRIXIE HAS STUMBLED ACROSS A KIDNAPPING, HAS SHE!?"

She was very loud.

"WELL, YOU WILL REGRET THE DAY YOU CHOSE A PATH MOST EVIL, FOR I! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE, ARE YOUR OPPONENT NOW! AND I! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE, SHALL BRING YOU DOWN! FOR I AM THE GREAT! AND POWERFUL! TRI-"

>They can't hear you.

In truth, Sunset knew next to nothing about the mare in front of her. She knew of her name, it had certainly been shouted loud enough, she knew that she lived with Twenty Nine, that had certainly made breaking into his apartment a challenge the night before, and she knew she was loud.

Sunset supposed she could add that the mare clearly had some sort of training in showmanship, if she hadn't been looking close enough, she would have missed the slight hiss in her voice and wavering of her flailing hooves. So used to the stage and the occasional slip up she must have been, it was gone before it could even be registered, and the mare was back to her old, loud self soon enough.

"IS THAT SO!?"

>Yes, it's so. I came in here to talk to her, and I dropped my disguise, you really think I didn't put up a sound barrier?

"WELL, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU LOCKED THE DOOR!"

1/3

>>27526909

It was going to take a lot not to sneer at her. Sunset, sadly, just didn't have it.

>It's a hospital room, it doesn't lock from the inside. You know, so ponies can't lock the door and kill themselves, or lock the door and escape when they're criminals, or so someone can't accidentally lock themselves and start dying on the inside while they fumble with the keys?

"YOU COULD HAVE JUST PUSHED A CHAIR IN FRONT OF IT!"

>Yeah, well... I didn't feel the need for that.

The other mare's look told the former student all she needed to know about her own performance abilities.

She took only a little pleasure in shoving the mare against the wall just a bit harder than was strictly necessary.

~Sunset! You don't have to-~

>Actually, I do, so wait just a bit.

The other mare, though she clearly looked like she wanted to, didn't argue any further.

>Now, hold still, and you won't feel a thing. You'll be back heading towards the right room in just a second, and this will all be over.

The blue mare's legs kicked and flailed against her magical restraints, doing little more than amusing the one who held her easily. Her bravado faltered as the mare approached, green magic that had been borrowed from one more powerful already dancing on her horn.

"Trixie could do that, or she could do THIS!"

Sunset found it far more amusing than she should that a bolt of magic, red and no bigger than a marble, was the best she could do. She didn't even pretend to look worried as she effortlessly caught it, her own superior magic stopping it dead in it's tracks.

>Guess you're not very impressive without the amulet, are you?

The glare that came her way had far more fire than any flame spell could ever be cast.

"Trixie likes to surprise her audience."

Sunset rolled her eyes, and her magic was cast.

Then came the light.

~OH SHIT-~

It was not her light.

2/3

>>27526920

Sunset let out a screeching scream, one that was easily drowned out by the stabbing whistling noise that drilled into her ears and made her all but double over in pain. Her vision was flooded by bright, red light that burned it's way past her eyes and straight into her brain, mingling with the slight burn of tiny embers working their way past her fur to burn her skin beneath.

The firework held no force behind it, yet it was somehow as devastating a blow as if she had been struck by the princess herself. Her senses of sight and sound were overwhelmed in an instant, forcing her to drop her magic to vainly bring her hooves to cover her ears long after they would have done any good.

She thrashed around, hooves kicking as her already keen sensations began to lower from their piercing pain into a dull throb. It took an eternity in her mind, yet no doubt only seconds in reality, until she could see and hear again.

~OW OW OW WOWWWW!~

The mare on the bed, her target, fared no better, hooves to her own ears and eyes clenched shut in pain as her hind legs kicked against the mattress in a futile attempt to batter the pain away.

The only one unaffected..

"FOOL! NEVER DOUBT THE POWER, OF THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!"

Was the one standing before her, five more of those orbs orbiting her in perfect circles as she struck a pose.

Sunset was hurt, her head was killing her, the afterimages would not leave her sight, and her legs were wobbly. None of this, or even more the threat of more coming still, could keep her down.

>...Now, I'm mad.

She didn't know what kind of magic, exactly, was forming on her horn, and she did not care in the least.

"HAVE AT THEE!"

She had to make that pony hurt.

>>27526912
>LNPP Is back
YAY!

>>27526928
>Trixie actually being cool

I didn't know it was my birthday!

You shouldn't have!

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I didn't want to cut in between stories.
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Various]
{???}
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but we're on the run.
Pinkie pops out of a hole in the ground using her hair as a drill. They're in a patch of tall grass surrounded by trees.

"That was a lot of kids and dream eaters. What are we going to do now?"

'Kill a bitch.'

>That's a given, but what we need is reinforcements. We need to get a message to Princess Luna and the Night Guards.

"We don't know how to use a door though."

'We could wait until another group of kids come and then we can make our exit.'

>Hmm...I like it! We just need to make our way back and-
A giggle can be heard.
>...what was funny?

"I didn't laugh at anything."
Another giggle. It was definitely a child's, so they look at DT.

'...that wasn't me.'
More sounds of kids laughing and it begins to echo heavily around them.
[KEE kee kee kee...]

[Ha ha ha ha...]

>Creepy levels rising.

The grass rustles and a silhouette runs away giggling.
"They're getting closer!"

'We need to get out of the tall grass!'
Something hits DT's leg and makes trip backwards.
'Ow what the?'
Some darts fire at Cadence, but she blocks them with her blades. Something tries to take a bite out of Pinkie and disappears back into the grass.

>Yikes!

More kids laughter all around. Then there's a sudden pause.

>"'...'"

[...you're all going to die.]

While the P-team has their eyes away from each other and at the grass, something grey lands behind them and smacks all of them before running back out.
>"'OW!'"

DT rubs her head.
'Show yourselves, you assholes!'

{Heheheheh...}
Out of the grass emerges a familiar grey earth pony with glasses. DT is completely shocked.

'S-silver Spoon?'

{Welcome to the jungle...}
Eyes glare out of the grass and more kids emerge.
{...we have fun and games.}

>>27526960
FUUUUUU-

>>27526928
Huh. Not nearly the curbstomp I thought it was going to be.

>???
"Guard"
'Snake Eyes'
-Assassin-

-Ok...look.-

'Alright.'

-...AT ME!-

'You need to be specific.'

-I gotta get outta here!-

'Really now? Call me crazy, but most folks who end up in prison usually don't want to stay in said prison.'

-You don't understand! They can't know what I know, not yet! I still gotta buy my guys time!-

'OH MY GOODNESS!'

-What?!-

'I don't give a fiddly diddly fuck!'

-Really!? You're screwing me over because I'm not a professional...whatever the fuck you think I am!? C'mon, shouldn't prisoners have some kinda-what'cha call it-solidarity!?-

'Yeah, nah, no dice pal. This tasty bit of Schadenfreude is the most entertainment I've been allowed to have in some time.'

-You're a piece of shit...-

'I'm very well aware of that. Kinda made a business out of it.'

-You're gonna pay, you hear me?-

"Right this way, Princess."

'Oh boy, here comes the nails for your coffin.'

-No...no no no no! Not like this! Not like thi-...-

'...'

>Hark, Prisoners, a Princess of Equestria does grace your vile cells!

'...oh. I uh...I forgot she was a thing.'

-...me too.-

>SILENCE!

"...me three."

>>27527090
>Forgot she was a thing

And now you're fucked.

>>27526928
>She didn't know what kind of magic, exactly, was forming on her horn, and she did not care in the least.

Please don't be dark or chaos magic, please don't be dark or chaos magic, please don't be dark or chaos magic...

>>27527487
It's either chaos or Changeling.

>>27527487
It's neither

It's meme magic

>Changeling
"Changelings"
~???~
~~~

>You deserved this.

"Hey! It's not like I shot anybody, thank you very much!... Myself doesn't count, you can't blame me for shooting myself."

"And I only shot the ceiling, how is that worth deserving this?"

"And I only ever shot at a bird!"

>..

"But I missed!"

"Yeah, if you miss it doesn't count!"

"How could it count if you missed? You didn't technically do anything and nobody would know!"

"Yeah! This is bullshit!"

>You still deserved this.

"Pfft, you're just jealous you didn't get a gun."

"SO jealous!"

"Now... are you going to help us down from here?"

>No.

"Please? My horn really hurts."

>I think that's the point.

"Look, if we promise to never do it again, can you help us down?"

"Trust us, we're not doing it again."

"We only have to literally have our horns shoved up into the ceiling one time before we figure it out."

"Also, he said the guns were going up... places, if it happened again."

"Seeing as he went through with it to make 51 eat the gun when he tried again, I believe him."

"So... please go get a crowbar?"

>...Nope.

"Come on!"

>You worried her majesty is going to think you went overboard?

Across from the changelings stuck to the ceiling, his fellow ling didn't even think about it, and instead got back to watering the plant that had almost been nicked by a stray bullet.

~You fuck with my crops, I fuck you up.~

>Point taken.

"LET US DOWN!"

>>27527882
NC
>Chrysalis
"AJ"
~~~

>Are you crying right now? Why?

"It ain't tears... it's liquid pride."

>>27528033
>AJ gets him his own plantation
>He's the first one to take advantage of the new economic changes

BRILLIANT

>>27527487
It's probably chaos magic.

Trixie done gon get fucked.

>Dash
"Twilight"
(???)
{???}
~~~

>...You have any idea what they're doing?

"Not at all."

>Huh. Should we question it?

"Probably."

>Okay, so question it.

"I don't think I'm getting an answer."

>Ehhhh, probably not.

"We could fly up there and see, though."

>Yeah... but we could also eat more candy. So we've got a conundrum, question something we're never getting an answer to, or candy.

"Candy does sound nice."

>It does. I'm going with candy. Tiny little rainbow candy, obviously.

"Yeah, they're probably alright."

~~~

(Pinkie, where did you get this rocket?)

{What? It's Celestia's. Remember, Shiny? The Celestia Rocket? She has this, you flew with her once.}

(...oh yeeeeah.)

{We need continuity, Shiny, it's important to make sense of stuff.}

(I guess, but didn't it explode?)

{No, silly, it just crashed!}

(Right, right... wait, didn't it crash because we never found any way to stop it?)

{Hm? What was that? Didn't hear you the engine starting up is loud.}

(...shit.)

>>27528520
>The Celestia Rocket returns

...Fuck, I did forget about that.

>>27527882
And Respectable Gun Owner Ling just nods his head, sure they got exactly what they deserved. He'd dwell on it, but he has to make sure his gun is properly oiled to prevent rust, as those can cause catastrophic misfires, and to re calibrate his sight again just to make sure it didn't veer, because if you're going to shoot, make sure it's only once.

>>27528855
...should this guy have Hank Hill's voice. I feel like he should.

>AJ
"Chrysalis"
'Cadence'
~~~

"NO!"

>Well, where else are we gonna keep it?

"That is the worst idea!"

>It just makes the most sense.

"If you want to cause me endless pain and heartache, you mean! Is that what you want? Is that what you're after? You want to cut me deep? Well you win! You have nothing left to prove, I admit it would rustle my buggles! There, now let's do something else!"

>Chrysalis?

"NO!'

>Chrysaliiis.

"NEVER!"

>...Cadence?

'Chrysalis, you should do it.'

"LOW BLOW! No using Caddy on me! I like her! I actually listen to her!"

'Weirdly heartwarming.'

>So listen to her now.

"...FIIIINE! We'll... we'll..."

>...

'...'

"We'll put the exchange office, and with it most of my bits and pretty much any love we collect in Canterlot in... in..."

>...

'...'

"...We'll put it in the changeling embassy.'

>There ya' go.

"I'm dying on the inside."

>It is the best place ta' put it, since that's yer' territory. Not a whole lotta options unless ya' wanna get screwed over by a Canterlot bank.

'I sincerely believe those assholes are literally sharks who are wearing the skin of ponies. Bit eating sharks. Bitsharks, that's what they are.'

"But... but that means I have to trust it to..."

>We know.

"...gggnnnnrggg..."

'You want a hug?'

"Yes.'

'Alright, come here.'

"...Do I have to-"

>Yes, you actually have ta' tell him yer' doin' it.

"ARRRRGGHHHHHH!"

>>27529182
>Using Caddyhugs to make Chrysalis do intellegent but difficult things for her.

...Why did you never do this before!?

>>27529182
Welp, time to start working on Hamilton parody songs.

>>27529319
>Well I don't agree with you but I am sub consciously obligated to agree with my rape-victims wife so meeeeeh

>>27529319
Because apple didn't care then. Apple cares now, even if she seems even more lethargic and detached than ever, which is hella funny to me.

>>27529319
She didn't like Cadence either till recently, remember. AJ always kinda looked down on her since thread 1, that and actually using Cadence to talk to her wasn't even an option until post Twi-Crazy, and even that was just the first step in Cadence not being super distrustful of her. It wasn't until around Cordyceps that Cadence and Chrysalis really became super close, and it was shortly after that when the Arm Break happened, and then they just up and left, so she didn't have to deal with her.

But recently Aj's opinions on both Chrysalis and Cadence changed, thanks to the EOHApple and Beach Arc mostly, so she sees them both now as both capable in their own right and understands them much better, and both like her a lot more too, so they'd actually listen.

So the short answer is, character development.

>>27528907
That fits too perfect, even if said otherwise that would still be my headcanon.

>Jet
“HH”
‘???’
–???–
~~~

There it was again, that same orange glow as before, displayed across the horizon of Honeyheart’s subconscious like a theatre screen.
And, as before, the focus was Jetset.

>Owwww… fuck that hurt….

He was rubbing his head after having apparently walked dead into a wall.

>Okay, okay, I’m alright… let’s try this again.

He shimmered, then was gone. Only for a dent to blow itself in the nearest suit of pony armor retroactive to Jetset appearing, which he did an instant later, groaning and rubbing his head again.

>Shit! I can’t do this! I can’t see in these stupid fucking… Faust-damn it, I’m bleeding….

The scene abruptly shifted to Jetset seated across from another young stallion, one that struck a cord with Honeyheart from the many posters she’d seen with his face on it.

>I can’t do this…I’m trying, and I’m trying and I just keep getting worse….

‘Huh, and here I thought you incapable of saying those words, Jet. Weren’t you just last week rubbing your little agents diploma in my face? Like, literally, you gave me a nosebleed.’

>…

‘And noooow… what? You pass the hardest part and for some reason training in shades is kicking your ass?’

The other stallion laughed, continuing to magically buff his Royal Guard chest plate.

‘This is funny, Jet. Really, it is. After you started your training I thought I’d never see you again, but somehow, I’m seeing you now more than ever. If this Solar Agent thing isn’t working out, you know you could always switch over to the royal guard, right? Much better benefits, man, we even get dental.’

>What, you mean end up like you? Nothing more than a servant to Her Royal Fatass?

‘…He says, not yet realizing that becoming her ‘agent’ is exactly the same thing.’

1/4

>>27529907

>One is the royal guard, the other is a solar agent. If they were the same thing they’d have the same title.

‘Se-fucking-mantics, my friend. We’ve chosen our paths, Jet, and we knew what that would entail. I had to change mine when I realized going out for agent-status would keep me away from family. It’s unfortunate, because I really wanted to wipe the floor with your smug ass… but Twily comes first, my mom and dad, my family.’

Setting his project aside, Shining Armor magically picked up Jetset’s shades, glancing them over with some interest.

‘Nice quality, these are… obviously personalized by the princess herself, but I thought these were ordered to never leave your face. That’s what you told me, wasn’t it?’

>Yeah, but… I can barely see with them on, I’ve been teleporting into all sorts of things….

‘Ah, that explains the bandages on your head, then.’

>It hurts….

‘I imagine so, but you’re used to pain. You just have to get used to these, too. In other words, get better. You have to, for her. See, look, you need to go beyond just wanting to show me up, Jet. I know this started out as a competition, one I had to unfortunately back out of, but there’s no denying Celestia saved your life. You owe this to her.’

>I don’t that cow a damn th-

The expression that crawled onto Shining’s normally docile face brought a swift end to Jetset’s insult.

‘That cow is your princess, and you should feel sickened with yourself for speaking of her like that. Where would you be now without her mercy? She gave you a second chance when no one else would. She took her time, was more patient with you than even I thought possible… do you know how many Shiny hugs I had to give her to keep her from blasting you to the sun? Do you? My spine’s still twisted!’

Somewhere in the midst of his admonishment, Shining’s gaze softened until he was smiling again.

2/4

>>27529927

‘And so… you know what you’re gonna do now, Jet? Well, I’ll tell you. You’re gonna get used to those shades, and then you’re gonna go give that ancient ass mare of ours your utter devotion. Because she deserves it, and as you were the only one to pass that exam, you’re the only one who can. Protect our princess from the shadows, Jet, I’ll bring the light.’

For a few long moments, Jetset and Shining Armor stared at one another with an intensity that would have caused lesser ponies to crack, to blink and turn away. But neither did, remaining locked even as Jetset’s magic enveloped his shades, taking them from Shining’s grasp and slowly bringing them closer.

>You’d better, dropout. Because aghast as I am to admit it, protecting that much ass is a two-stallion job….

The sight of Jetset rightly wearing his shades after such a long period of doing the exact opposite was a welcome one, like a return to normalcy.

He smirked at Shining who returned it in kind.

>So please, don’t fuck UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAAAAAAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUU-

It shattered. Everything shattered, the orange screen, Jetset and Shining Armor, all of it.

And she knew pain, a pain brought on by catching the sun’s searing light square in the eye.

–-UUUUUUP! Oh… hey, it worked! Finally!–

“Wuzzagoinon?”

3/4

>>27529938

–You passed out! Like, you blinked, then your eyes rolled up into your skull, then you just sorta fell over backwards.–

“…W-why’s my back so itchy?”

–Mighta fallen into some poison ivy or something, I don’t know. I just let you lay there for awhile but by the third hour I got stupid bored.–

“Noticin’ I’m still alive, that's a plus. Yay, me.”

–You also still smell. Did you know that? In case you didn’t, you do, like not really bad, but not really good either.–

>…

For the life of her, Honeyheart couldn’t figure out why her shades were identifying this Diamond Dog, oddly clad in only a silver vest, as a nastie.

Usually, nasties were out to either harm her or cease her breathing. This one… this dog was doing neither, seemingly content to sniffing the air.

–Hey, you remember my name? I mean, you were halfway out the door of consciousness when I said it and all but I really don’t like repeating myself.–

“Z-Zanta…?”

–Oh cool, you remembered! So, hey, tell me yours if we make it through this, okay?–

“Huh? Make it through wh- ooooooh, sugar honey iced tea….”

Past the blaring red glow that surrounded Zanta, a small gathering of similarly infested hues began to creep towards them at an ominous pace.

“I… I can’t fight.”

She didn’t know what compelled her to squeak out that very obvious truth but she did anyway, and Zanta’s very long, very bushy tail waved.

–That’s alright. I can.–

4/4

>>27529601
Character Development does not equal suffering Anon!!! I want Pain and Agony for Applejack!!!... Oh, wait a minute...

>>27529973
>"CD" and "Suffering" are /pa/ trigger words
>Reversing the meme

I chuckled.

>>27529961
....iiinnnteresting...

>>27529961
Nice way to include backstory, especially because I can't tell if he intentionally programmed them to show her or if that's just a feature for the next candidate, and nice seeing younger Shiny in there too.

DD thing is interesting...

>>27529961
...Go ooonnn...

>SA
"Pinkie"
~~~~

>This went about as well as I thought it was going to.

"Which means great?"

>It means things happened and I had no control over them, and I just accepted it.

"Like your love life, OHHHHHHH!"

>...I would call that mean if it wasn't a factually true statement. My lovelife is something.

"But at least it's interesting! Things happen."

>Except in the bedroom.

"OHHHH! SELF BURN!"

>I'm not afraid to look inwards and see what I am.

"Well, so long as you have a sense of humor about it."

>Much like how we should laugh at our current predicament.

"...actually, this is one of those cases you should stop laughing and bubbleshield us before we shake loose of the side of the mountain, those rocks aren't going to hold, and I don't see the way down."

>Pragmatic Pinkie, there's something I didn't think I'd see-

CRUMBLE!

"LESS TALK MORE BUBBLES!"

>Time with you is an adventure, Pinkie.

"How are you being so calm!?"

>This is but another dance I will do with death.

CRACK!

>Lead on, old friend.

"AHHHHHHHhhhhhh....!"

>>27530661
They've completely broken him.

I love it.

>>27530919
You can only almost die so many times doing stupid shit with your crazy ass immortal friends before you become so numb.

>>27530919
Not yet, it's when Two finally joins in that will finally have him committed to the crying corner.

>>27531748
>Two joining in on the shenanigans.

Cuteness of that level should not mix with absurdity on a level that matches.

>>27532177
>Childlike imagination to that level of crazy

Nothing would survive.

Goodnight, thread

>>27532714
Night anon

>>27532714
And good niiight to you.
Bed is wiating.

>>27532177
I disagre!

Morning thread

>>27534436
Shut up, Rogal!

>Maud
“Awkwardling”
~~~~

>Thank you for coming over for dinner. I appreciate you.

“Um… er…”

>Is something wrong?

“Oh, uh, you know, nothing… nothing at all, just um.. er… wanted to know if it was rude to compliment the… cooking?”

>That is a good question, you do not want to appear overtly trying to praise, as it will make the server think that something is wrong and they are covering it up, but remaining quiet makes it seem like the dinner was not notable. This is a good question.

“Right, sure, that… b-but it is good, um… rock soup!”

>It is made from the finest granite, I thought it prudent to go fancy.

“Oh, and it shows! Really taste the… texture!”

>The mineral count is very high, I hope it did not take you off guard.

“…Nope, can say I was expecting a lot of minerals here.”

>That is good. Minerals are important.

“That they are.”

>…

“…”

>…You’re the first one I’ve met who actually eats the rocks.

“Is that bad?”

>No.

“…Would it be rude to ask how you cook rocks?”

>You don’t.

“….So-“

>We’ve actually just been messing with our guests for years, you’re the first one who actually noticed.

“Oh… oh, heh, I didn’t know you were good at jokes!”

>I’m not.

“…”

>…

“…huh.”

>>27535037
based Maud.

Already saying that I don't want Fluttershy's brother to make an appearance here ever, in my personal opinion and my stance on that will be 'Fuck anyone who says otherwise because you are become cancer.'

Just getting that out now.

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>>27535159

>>27535159
You stop that

>>27535159
No anon

You ARE the cancer!

>>27535213
Fear it Anon, fear it!

>>27535321
>>27535565
You too shall see the light soon enough!

>>27535159
Fuck you, her parents are too adorable NOT to include, he just comes with the territory.

>>27535858
I didn't say anything about her Parents, just have the brother not have moved back.

>Amethyst Star
“Cloudchaser”
‘Derpy’
~???~
~~~~

>…What are you two doing?

“You really don’t know? Seriously?”

‘I don’t think she gets it.’

“Nah, she has to be messing with us, how could she not get it?”

‘I think she just doesn’t get it, not everyone gets it.’

“Pfft, yeah, but she’s cool, or I mean… I thought she was.”

>Get what?

“Oh my gosh, she doesn’t know! I’m so sorry!”

‘Wow, I feel bad.’

“Cannot believe I went there and you just didn’t know, I’m so sorry. We’ll leave.”

>Wait! Tell me what it is!

“You’re actually asking for it!?”

‘She doesn’t know.”

“Seriously though, how casual can you be?”

>Casual!?

“Well calling you a normie would be mean. You’re not a normie, you’re at least kinda cool, you’re just… a bit casual.”

‘Really casual is all.’

“No biggie, it’s not for everyone.”

‘But just an fyi, you’re not supposed to ask.’

>But I wanna know!

‘…Should we tell her?’

“No! Could you imagine if that’s how she got into this? She would never live it down!”

‘Awww, come on, we all had an embarrassing first play.’

“Still, I don’t… oh… OH! OH OH! I’ve got it!”

>Got what?

“I know how she can get into it, but not have to be told!”

‘You do!?’

>Tell me!

“Amethy?... Push that cloud.”

>…That’s it?

‘Oh my gosh that’s brilliant!’

>That… that’s it?

“Go for it!”

>Oh… okay… like this?

BOOM!
CRASH!
SMASH!
CRACKLE!

>GAH!

“OH SHIT WHAT DID YOU DO!?”

‘Oh no! The town hall is so totally wrecked, and you did it!’

“WHAT A THING IT IS YOU DID!!”

>OH FUCK OH FUCK!

“NOW! RUN NOW!”

‘OH! Right!’

ZOOM!

>…wait a minute.

~What the fuck happened to the town hall!?~

>…You wouldn’t understand, casual.

>Watchdog
"Siegfried"

>Ok, where is she, where is she, wherrrre iiiis sheeee?

"Who?"

>...shortstack, tiny, lil miss melts in sunlight.

"Oh right."

>Did you forget why we were out doing this in the first place?

"I forgot what YOU were doing. *I* was being kidnapped by an asshole robot gorilla dog."

>True, but come on, we gotta find her!

"I mean, this can't be that hard, right? The city's kinda down about ninety percent of the buildings it used to have. This kinda sucks..."

>How so?

"Canterlot's been a nice town the few times I've seen it. Sure the people are a little stuffy but being a prince, you get used to that. This happening again? It's like seeing a nice girl on the street every day except every so often she turns up with a shiner on her face."

>Eh, well what're ya gonna do?

"Better question is what CAN I do? Don't think my forelegs are long enough to box with god."

>Convince the world's angriest BBMILF to take a building sized chill pill?

"Nah, that's ridiculous."

>Yeah I think we're far past 'Live and Let Live."

"Us throwing enough munitions for like five wars at her will do that."

>Us? YOU. YOU ASSHOLES DID THAT, I HAVEN'T EVEN MET THE LADY!

'You should, Dog of Watches, she is muchly a funtime.'

"What? She'd EAT you."

'She would not, Vekir tastes terrible!'

>She has a point.

"What like, you specifically or Morlocks in general?"

'The second one.'

"Huh, the more you know."

'And knowing is half of the fight. The other half is the ripping out of the opponent's throat, yes? Yes. Goodbye!'

>"See ya."

>...

"..."

>"HEY WAIT A MINUTE!"

>>27536505
Pfff, okay, that got me.

>SA
“Pinkie”
~~~~

>See? Told you, completely fine.

“We fell off the mountain.”

>Not a scratch on us.

“It completely wrecked the rocket.”

>We live to adventure another day!

“We rolled into every tree, no doubt destroying animal homes if not completely squashing them. Their only chance of survival is that we were really loud coming down.”

>This here? This reminds you of what’s important in life, living and learning. Life… finds a way.

“…”

>Yep, everything’s ooookay.

“…Is that a pony?”

>..

“…”

~H-hi, old captain, how you been holding up?... I was doing pretty good myself till I fell down a hole.~

>”…OH SHIT!”

>>27536773
And he's saved!

Gambling will be so happy.

>Luna
"Snake Eyes"
'Assassin'

>Now, Prisoner, it is time to ATONE for your misdeeds! Your crimes have gone unpunished for too long, and it is high time we saw fit to carry out our duties in the name of Equestria! You have but one chance, confess and beg forgiveness and you MIGHT receive mercy...

"...uhhh..."

'Yeah, asshole, repent!'

"I think you got the wrong guy."

>Nonsense! We were told that a Prisoner wished to speak with us, for what other reason would such a thing take place if not to account his crime!

"What? No no no, I wanted to-"

'Yeah, he really wants to confess, he was talking to me nonstop all day about it!'

>Aha! Very well, Prisoner, we shall bring you before the other Princesses and together your fate will be decided.

"Will you just listen to me for one-"

>Silence!

Yank! Crash!

"...y...you could have just asked that guard to come back with the keys."

>Bah, bars can easily be replaced! Onward!

"Wait, no no no-noooooo!"

'...that went better than expected.'

-Ahhh...phew, needed that bathroom break...uhhh...where'd the Princess go?-

'Uhhh...to the moon. For moon things.'

-And the other prisoner?-

'Also the moon. To be fed to the moon things.'

-...-

'...soooo, gonna clean up those bars there?'

>>27537110
Are we making moon things? Cause that would be neat.

>MM
"Twilight"
~~

>Oh my gosh! Hello, Princess! It's been too long!

"Oh hi! I didn't know you'd be around Canterlot, Mayor Mare. How are things going back in ponyville?"

>Less mobs than before. There's a distinct lack of mobs, compared to what there was the other day. Call my standards low, but I count this as a win, majesty.

"You don't have to call me that, we've known each other since before I got these silly things. Why, you used to be my authority figure!"

>Ha ha, yeah... those were the days...

"Anything else really happening back in Ponyville? I'm trying to stay on top of things."

>No guards. We still have zero guards. I don't know how many times I've said this, but our guard numbers are none. I have more points in grammar for that last sentence than I do actual guards, which I would remind you is in the realm of nada.

"...So-"

>So if you could raise both it and the amount of fucks given to the multiple requests I've placed for said guards, I would be appreciative.

"..."

>Your majesty.

"...Did you always used to be like this?"

>I no longer fear death after the shit I went through learning form Princess Luna and fighting a goddamn dragon-lion golem. If you want to sick the dragon on me, bring it.

"Sick the who what now?"

>Please!

"Alright, I'll get it done."

>THANK YOU!

"..."

>...Sorry I yelled.

"I'll let you pass this time."

>I appreciate-

"But just this time."

>...

"I don't like yelling."

>...Point taken, and I thank you. Brunch?

"Brunch would be lovely!"

>>27537386
How have you been friends with aj for the past two years. A quarter of her dialogue was yelling.

>>27537386
FUCKING FINALLY!

Maybe they'll actually listen to her.

>>27537613
Maybe.
Maybe they'll even get a fence.

>Zecora
"42"
~~

>Forty Two! It has been an age and more still since we have last met. How have you been doing, has Shining noticed your crush yet?

"How does everyone know about that!?"

>Because it was hidden as well as a sun in the sky. You're pretty much the only one who couldn't see why.

"Oh come on! You barely know me!"

>I'm hurt, though I admit it is not untrue. So far is the gab between us there is little meeting between us two.

"But still!"

>But still I can see through, that is correct. Still, I've never mentioned it, your privacy I respect.

"For what it's worth, I appreciate that."

>Though I must ask, as it has been so long. Have you managed to do any better when you sway to a song?

"Sway to a... oh, fuck, you're talking about-"

>I do not hold it against you that you had the grace of a blind mole. It wasn't fair, you didn't get to train while holding up the dancing pole.

"I never wanted to speak of that again."

>So sorry to open old wounds, I know it must sting. But if you're available... there's a chance I can show you the happiness to Shining you can bring.

"I am a warrior, not a pole dancer!"

>My mistake, it is not for all. Most ponies try and just repeatedly fall.

"My stance is strong, thank you."

>...You know, it is not only the stallions who like to see the dance. Cadence was trying it, if you improved, maybe she would give a co op routine a chance?

"..."

>...

"...I will think about it."

>Oh ho, that's always where it will begin. But in the end... the music will win.

"Hrmph. So the rhyming, is that intentional, or-"

>NGH!

FLEES!

"... I don't understand Zebra's... is that racist?"

>>27537676
They'll get a fence when we tackle the pony Olympics.

>>27537721
...Holy shit, this is such a weird pairing.

>>27537919
Indeed.
Where is that gif with all characters names on it?
The one you would use to roll for random chars to use in story for fun and brand new opportunities?

>>27537971
It needs to be updated... actually it was needing to be updated the last time we used it.

Also can I say, I love how we actually CAN keep her constantly Rhyming, I've never seen anyone do it for so long and that well before /pa/.

>SA
"Pinkie"
'Quicksilver'
~~~~

>This isn't going to work.

"This will totally work!"

'I'd rather if we tried something else, as this working or not is really important to me.'

"Quiet you!"

>Where did you even get a giant spring?

"Shiny, I thought you knew better than to ask me about silly things like that."

>I'm just saying, we came down in a rocket, you clearly didn't have time to get the materials for a spring, but you built it anyway. I'm just questioning the logistics.

'I would like to question those as well!'

"Party poopers, trying to add logic and sense to everything. Not everything needs to make sense! Sometimes building material is just there!"

>I'm pretty sure that's just plain wrong.

'Also, not making me confident that it's stable!'

"It's probably fine."

'REALLY not helping!'

>No, he's right, this doesn't look safe.

'Thank you!'

>We'll have him go first, that'll tell us if something's wrong with it.

"Brilliant!"

'...This is because I bled all over you, isn't it?'

"PULL THE LEVER!"

TWANG!

'I'M SORRRYYYYyyyyyyyy...'

>...

"...Wow, you were right, that spring was wayyyyy too tight."

>Glad we didn't get on that.

"Right?"

>Right.

"...So does that count as murder or manslaughter if he dies?"

>You built the device, so it was premeditated.

"Ah... and-"

>I have diplomatic immunity.

"Do I have that?"

>...

"...How strong is your bubble?"

>He should be fine.

"If not, I'm going to have to move back in with my parents."

>THAT would be embarrassing!

"Wouldn't it!? Just the worst!"

>...So about the spring.

"I would love to tell you, but it's almost over."

>What is

>>27538420
>Most recent comedy pairings
>Cloudchaser/Derpy
>AJ/Chrysalis/Cadence
>Spike/Jetset
>42/Zecora
>Twi/MM
>SA/Pinkie

Wow, we're getting creative with these.

>>27538516
>SA/Pinkie
Can't wait for Shining X Pie Family again.

>>27538584
Where SA actually busts a nut into Pinkie behind closed doors

>>27538420
I might've been too quick saying he was saved.

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449KB, 3063x4858px

>>27538635
I'll be sure to bust his nuts. He already has his own pink. He better stay away from my waifu.

Well I'm just gonna brainstorm some possible ways to get Zephyr Breeze into our thing

What with Fluttershy's chaos gig, would require some creativity, but hey, who knows what can happen.

>Sunset
"Trixie"
~SN~
~~~

There was a single flaw in every trick, no matter how grand, that everyone who gathers the courage or ego to step out onto the stand must one day come to accept, no matter how little they wish it true.

Every trick, no matter how amazing, only works once before it quickly loses it's luster.

The first time is always a spectacle, something the audience could never expect. The first time is always amazing a sight to behold.

"Well, that's not good."

Not so much the second go round.

>Now, I'm really mad.

Trixie knew her worries were only just beginning when the floating, dazzling orbs were ripped right from her own magical grasp, pulled away by a much more powerful force before she could so much as blink. Before her very eyes, the other unicorn slowly and deliberately brought them all together, mashing them like an angry child who had gotten a hold of dough.

The snarl on Sunset's face took on an unsettling shadowed look as the lights tried, and failed, to erupt as the previous one had before and fizzled out into a tiny wisp of smoke, the black remains falling to the floor and thought of no longer.

"Well, if you think that's impressive, then you're really going to be blown away by the next trick of the GREAT AND POWERFUL-"

She had tried. Sunset, even if she would only ever admit it to herself, had tried as hard as she could not to lose her temper, not to hurt the mare, and not to react badly. She had tried, no matter what her next actions said of her.

She had tried, but not a one of them would ever believe her.

Especially not the mare callously tossed straight up so that her head smacked right into the ceiling.

>SHUT UP!

The added effect of ice spires shooting down from that ceiling, wrapping the blue mare's forelegs and chunks of her body in it's cold confines, cemented that none would ever believe her.

"...ow..."

1/2

>>27539193

She took several deep, calming breaths afterwards, unable to keep back the feeling she had thought herself long incapable.

"Would... would you believe Trixie's next trick was pulling a rabbit out of her hat?"

Sunset Shimmer, even if only for a moment, felt real regret.

"...T-that's okay, that trick doesn't really work on the older group... they like the disappearing act a lot more."

A hiss was her only warning.

Before she could even finish turning her head to see it, the clump of black remains of the earlier spell became much more than the single, solitary wisp it had been, erupting in an instant like a volcano to spew a seemingly endless amount of thick, noxious smelling smoke. She was covered, choking on the fumes that burned her nostrils and brought tears to her eyes, completely unable to see even as she heard the shimmer of magic above.

She reached out, desperate to grasp the one above her before she could escape, she did not need sight to see the results.

Even before the smoke cleared enough she could see, she knew she held only chunks of magical ice.

~Oh yeah, just keep messing up my hospital room! Not like anyone else is here, you just keep fighting!~

Just as she had a dozen times before, she ignored the mare. Instead she focused on only one thing, searching.

A search which turned up a very, very surprising result.

>...uh oh.

The Great and Powerful Trixie... was gone.

>...shiiiiiiiii

>>27539203
HOLY FUCK
TRIXIE WON
TRIXIE FUCKING WON THE FIGHT
I'm done, my grin is literally splitting my face in half right now, I can't take any more of this, I need a drink

>>27539011
>Not having your own incarnation of your Waifu so other's can't have her.
You're a groupie of the Pinkie Prime aren't ya? She's a town bike like all the others Primes.

>>27539239
I'm hoping that's not the end, it's a little... anticlimactic.

Like, I get Trixie wouldn't really be able to match her in magic and all that, but I was having fun watching her take her on just with tricks. She was being pretty creative and smart, it would suck if it just ended at the second trick.

On the other hand, I love the fact that Trixie just won, but I'm still leaning towards it being just a little too anticlimactic to the buildup.

>>27539360
Kinda fits Trixie's MO of being mostly bluster but little payoff, but I do agree it would be a little short if that was the end.

>>27539203
>Underestimating a magician

Come on! Having tricks up their sleeves is LITERALLY THEIR WHOLE THING

>>27539190
The chaos thing makes it hella easy why we haven't seen him before now(Ironically we have a better out of it than the actual show has), but maybe he decides since FS left he'd just take her cottage?

>>27539360
Don't take her victory away, she earned that by being the most bro teir Horse

>>27539752
Lavan was just there and is the only reason anything got in or out

>>27539911
Could just say he broke the shield and that's why he appeared now and not before.

>13
"Changelings"
~~~

>What the fuck happened here!?

"We got guns, things escalated quickly."

>Why did you get guns!?

"...Huh, why did we do that?"

"There was a reason for this, I'm certain.'

"Like, we wouldn't just DO it, there's an explanation here."

"But what was it?"

"Hmmm-oh! Right, ponies!"

"We're afraid of ponies."

>...what?!

"We're afraid of ponies."

"That's pretty much it."

"Aren't you?"

>...
"..."

>Can I get a gun?

"Sure!"

"This isn't going to go wrong at all!"

"...why would you say that?"

"Uh dunno."

>I shall call you... bangy shoot shoot.

"..."

>I'm not good at names...

>>27540369
Holy shit, I didn't think I would ever find 13 that adorable.

>>27540369
It runs in the family punchtania

>Twilight
"Pommel"
~~~~~~

>...what!?

"What? It's what you have to do. You need a captain of the guard."

>But... that's you! That's why I came to you, specifically! Because that is what you are!

"But I'm in Canterlot."

>So? What does that have to do with anything?

"...Princess, did you seriously think I was the commanding officer of literally all of Equestria's forces?"

>...

"How would that work? What, does Fillydelphia and Trottingham just plain not act, because I'm not there to specifically tell them to do stuff?"

>...so-

"So if you want guards in ponyville, you have to have someone actually command the guard down there."

>...nnggnn...

"W-... what's the matter? Just promote someone, I'm sure someone wants that job. How hard could it be to find a captain to be stationed down there?"

>...

"Princess?"

>Uhhh buhhhhh....

>>27541335
Not like we don't have a plethora of possible captains to send down there in the first place.

>>27541366
Like who?

We spent like, 60 threads looking for a captain because nobody wanted the job, and that was in Canterlot, a place they actually lived.

>>27541438
Yeah, if anything this would be wayyy harder than that, because

>Not as much prestige as guarding Canterlot, so the social benefit is nill
>Not as much authority, you're in a town with like 100 ponies in it at the absolute most.
>Not much to spend money on even if you get a pay increase as it doesn't have Canterlot's stores or even is close enough to a place like Manehatten to be worth it.
>You would have to move, leaving your home and family to travel to a new city
>You would be moving to a place way worse than the one you're leaving.
>It's just as dangerous, there's a damn Chitania sized bear in WALKING DISTANCE, an it will stomp your city if some kids act stupid, not to mention the dragon, and that crazy shit happens every other week and it often hits them as bad as Canterlot.
>You're still close enough you have to live under the thumb of Pommel, so you can't even slack at the job.

And this is all on top of the fact none of our sideguards wanted to be captain when a way better version was available, and they didn't have to move.

Guessing this is why AJ never got this finished.

>>27541509
>crazy shit that happens every other week
we actually talked about this, the crazy shit has all but stopped (at least, until the weather crew went fucking insane) because the M6 aren't there to act as a magnet for that shit

>>27541526
It still happens enough it would be a concern

>>27541881
Not as bad as where they are at though. At least it never got smashed.

>Celestia
"Luna"
'Snake Eyes'

>Ahhh, at last, delicious cake, it is just you, me, and my-

"SISTER!"

>Oh crap. Hiiii, Luna...how are you?

"We have brought forward a vile criminal to receive his just punishment!"

>...

'...hi, your uh...royal sunniness.'

>Huh, that's a new one. So you're the one who shot the changeling ambassador?

"DID WHAT!?"

'Nah, that's the fatso still in the dungeon. I'm the guy who slipped him drugs that locked him in his own head for three days-'

"WHAT!?"

'-then wiped his mind so he couldn't remember-'

"WHAT!?"

'-all the while posing like a guard.'

"...methinks we are a bit out of the loop."

'No kidding.'

>I see, and why pray tell is my sister bringing you up here? Your trial has not yet been scheduled.

'Because the guard was lazy and she is...well out of the loop.'

>I see...

"Sooooo...we AREN'T going to torture him?"

'Please no? I kind of need to relay some info to someone regarding fatso mcshoot-a-ling.'

>Really, is he a former associate of yours?

'Ha! Oh hell no. He's too sloppy to be anything to me beyond a glaring insult to my profession. Nah, I just figured I'd screw him over for laughs.'

"..."

'What?'

"Honor amongst thieves seems to have died in our absence."

'I wouldn't call that a bad thing on your end. Anyway, my info on tubby, your guy appears to be none other than a card carrying member of the Equine Supremacy Front.'

"We're sorry, the what?"

'Yes yes indeed, he has all the hallmarks.'

>Which are?

'Being very stupid and something I just made up.'

"Enough of your games, you smug rapscallion!"

>Wait sister, what exactly are you talking about?

'I'm just saying, seems the criminal element's caught on to how changeling violence throws you royals into a tizzy. My advice? Pump him for info one why he really shot fancybug, you may find a different kind of insect needs stomping.'

>...very well. Sister, please take him back and have the giard bring our assassin. It's time to end this.

'Dramatic~'

>>27542359
God it's nice seeing her do stuff.

>>27542698
Isn't it?

>>27542359
Damn, Lulu got sidelined by her sister again.

This shit caused NMM, damn it'