Welcome to the Saltlick Spittoon. How nice are you?

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>>27479771

>>27479771
How nice am I? I'm so nice I gave my brother the last Oreo!

It was birthday cake.

I donated a kidney to someone I don't even know.

>>27479771

Pardon me, but what the fuck did you just say about me, sir? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Red Cross CPR Program, and I’ve been involved in numerous elderly assistance programs.I have over 300 confirmed days brightened. I am trained in good samaritanship and I’m the top crosswalk assistant in the entire US. You are nothing to me but just my fellow man. I will help you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this community, you have my fucking word. You think you can get away without a little support with that shit over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of neighborhood watch members across the USA and your local branch is being contacted right now so you better prepare for some assistance, sir. The assistance that helps out the wonderful little thing you call your life. You’re fucking welcome, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can aid you with any task in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in first aid, but I have access to the entire medical and comfort supply of the Volunteer Fire Department and I will use it to its full extent to lend a hand to your respectable ass anywhere on the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy support your little “clever” comment was about to bring directly upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you brilliant bastard. I will deliver aid all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking relieved, kiddo.

>>27479771
i help homeless guy to put his pants up when they fell off him on ground.

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>>27479888
I want someone to read this in the most badass voice possible.

>>27479771
I once lent someone 60 dollars
>yeah, so?
Without getting it back

>>27479913
thats just parenthood.

>>27479935
I'm poor, what does that mean? No, kids, ever.

>>27479779
>>27479808
>>27479819
>>27479888
>>27479899
>>27479913
You're all in! Nice gets, too.