Ponyvile Movie Night

>>27449004
They kill you because you're an Aryannefag

>>27449014
Here is a
>Implying

>>27449004
Explain that yes, human wars were that awful.

Then explain that this is how we choose to remember them: Since generations would inevitably pass and memories fade, we make movies like this to remind ourselves just how fucking awful wars can actually be and how they can tear you up inside for the remainder of your life. "It is well that war is so terrible, otherwise we should grow too fond of it."

The ponies are confused, but understand that they are looking at a culture so far removed from their own that immediate judgments cannot be made. If our wars really are like that, and we understand just how fucked up they can be, then we must have had a really good reason for fighting them.

Princesses especially, since they very well understand the idea of having to make really terrible choices and then being constantly reminded of it.

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>>27449118

>>27449004
You introduce them to Tom Hanks, a god among men

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>>27449118

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>>27449004

>>27449004
>Omaha beach scene begins
>Rarity already fainted
>Fluttershy puked and fainted.
>Rainbow is covering her eyes
>Pinkie Pie is crying.
>Applejack is trying to console a distressed Applebloom.
>Little colts and fillies are screaming for their parents.
>Tom Hanks hasn't left the boat yet.

>>27449166
Honestly surprised this didn't happen sooner.

Personally I would have the projectionist show a warning in a similar style to this one first before showing the actual movie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8z6f23I-8cY

>>27449185
Kek.

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>"Sure, Anon. We have centipedes in Equestria, I can't wait to see how human ones are!"

Bumping for potential.

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>>27449004
They'd all be depressed beyond belief by the end of it.

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>>27449185
>Decide to play pic related.
>Gunnery Sargent Hartman appears.
>"Wow, he sure seems pretty mean-"
>"Is that you John Wayne, is this me?"
>Ponies recoil in shock and fear at Hartmans response.
>They're pretty terrified at his "brutality" and how "intimidating" he is.
>You're pretty sure you hear crying or sobbing.
>If they're not, then they're confused or don't understand some of the insults being said.
>However, you caught Big Mac and Shining Armor elbowing each other with smiles on their faces as Hartman invites Pvt. Joker over to fuck his sister.

>>27449118
Consider the pre-Hearthswarming war, and don't kid yourself that there wasn't one because the 3 tribes were in the middle of a cold war, and how that was probably toned down a lot. Then go and rewatch S5's finale. Remember how Rainbow Dash lost a wing? Yeah, Equestrian ponies aren't innocent little makes idiots like 4chan likes to portray them as; they're actually similar to humans culture-wise, as we see in the Manehattan episodes. Ponyville's just one of those towns where most everyone knows each other because it's small, and also peaceful pony-wise, mainly because they need to work together more often than other places due to its proximity to the Everfree forest.

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I think ponies would really like Star Wars (original trilogy) as they have little gore, explosions, good morals, drama etc

>Choose Ep IV for Ponyville movie night
>Ponies are amazed by the special effects
>Sci fi is a very undeveloped genre in Equestria
>A cheer goes up when the Death Star is destroyed
>Ponies beaming at the ending of movie
>Life goes on as normal for a few weeks but everyone is talking about the film
>tfw you tell them there's two other movies in the series

>Celestia and Luna argue over whether the Death Star is more comparable to the sun or the moon

>>27449118
Fuck you, wars make you a man.

>>27451836
guess that makes you and 90% of this board babbies then

>>27449236
It's actually a pretty old joke.

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>>27449004
Rainbow Dash sines her pitty on the runny kine, then I cole her down on the panny sty.

Wa da tah!

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>>27449004
>It's the 18th movie night after they started asking random anons to pick the movie
>During the last weeks they've seen all kinds of depressing, sadistic, war-fueled movies
>Some ponies even broke in tears during the projection
>And yet they kept coming
>Now it's your turn
>"So" says Twilight, barely hiding her lack of enthusiasm "Your choice, anon. Surprise us."
"Well, I have a certain idea..."
>"Lemme guess, does it feature barren, empty wastelands devoid of all kind of hope and life?"
"uh, k-kinda, but..."
>"Ugh, whatever, put it on. Let's make it quick"
>98 minutes later
>The final scene elicits a spontaneous round of applause
>When the credits start you become the bottom of a pony hugpile, mares snuggling you and foals excitedly jumping on you
>It was so fucking easy

>>27451836
Said the guy who probably never had to fight in one.

>>27451921
We got all these sissies and hippies ever since we got rid of the draft. Up till Vietnam, men were men.

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>"Oh, Anon, can we watch this one?"
>The M6 show you 'The Shining'
>'Uh...are you guys sure?'
>"Yeah, look! The human on the cover is smiling, it must be a comedy, right?"

>>27451930
Sure, and they all died at 50-60.

>>27451932
It's a family comedy actually.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmkVWuP_sO0

I would show them Lars von Triers "Antichrist" and tell them that it represented human relationships on earth.

My real answer is Bambi, best movie for innocent Ponies

>>27451943
Even though it's edgefag bait, Antichrist really is unironically amazing.

>>27451944
not bait. antichrist is a good movie.
how dare you judge me this way anon.
i can't really say i 'like' the movie though, just that i appreciate the artistry or some shit

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>>27451943
>"Anon?..."
"Yes, Applebloom?"
>"W-what happened to Bambi's mom?"
"...oh...fuck"

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>>27451955
"Applebloom, how do I explain this...."

>>27451950
It's the best film you'll never recommend to anyone.

Well, that and Martyrs.

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>>27451966
>"SHE LEFT FOR A TRIP, ain't that right, Anon!?"

>>27451955
She went to sleep. A long sleep.

>>27451968
indeed, if I ever get a gf I will have to hide the blu-ray from her
otherwise it may lead to a very fast break-up

>>27449112
I especially liked the part where he skullfucked that guy to death.

>>27451980
I actually first saw it with my girlfriend at the time.

We didn't have sex that night...

>>27451988
anon you fugging maniac. how did your relationship survive.
did you even make it through the whole film or did anyone chicken out?

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>Put the disc ok
>Play
>Smirk as their confusion gets even bigger

>>27452002
lel

>>27452002
>get advantage of their confusion to grope all the mares within reach
>twice

>>27451990
>how did your relationship survive.

It didn't in the end, but that was long after, so I don't think I can blame that one on Antichrist.

>did you even make it through the whole film or did anyone chicken out?

Nah, I have a hard stomach for that kinda stuff. The ball-crushing and clit-cutting made me cringe, and she had to look away from the screen, but it wasn't that bad. It's very brief. I think the unsettling, eerie atmosphere of the film is much more haunting than those gory moments.

The only movie I've ever walked out of was the Sex And The City movie. That was just too much, even for me.

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>Hey, Anon. You ever hear of a movie called Evil Dead?
"...I might have seen it once or twice."

>>27452020
I agree.
I was a lil bitch and looked away from the scissors part
Atmosphere is some of the best 10/10 film

>>27451930
Read Starship Troopers by Robert A. Heinlein (don't watch the movie). Conscripts make terrible recruits since they're all a bunch of whiny little bitches who just want to go home. An all volunteer military is made up of determined individuals committed to their job. IMO we should follow Heinlein's example and only allow those who have served in the military to vote and hold office because military training and experience teaches one to value the needs of the group over the individual.

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>show them this
>tell them it's the pinnacle of human filmmaking

>>27452037
Was that sarcasm because I never saw that movie before.

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>Put this on
>Wait for the first one to say "...I'd fuck that bunny"
>Ok, maybe the second after Fluttershy
>Finally find a kindred deviant spirit like you

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>>27452037
>not showing them uganda's first action movie

Kid do u even watch bad movies?

Engineering red(look it up, it's on YouTube) . Gotta show them some science.

I'd watch Space Mutiny with them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFHlJ2voJHY

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Answer me, /mlp/, would ponies enjoy these movies?

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>>27452074
>"HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA, S-SILLY ANON! T-that movie was completely implausible! I m-mean, not like a single agent c-coud ever have s-such adventures..."

>>27449112
Film was total shit. Edgy for the sake of it.

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How about this?

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>>27452088
Actually considering how her organization is set up in the Mares of S.M.I.L.E., this movie will be the one more likely to make her sweat.

>>27452025
I heavily recommend Martyrs. It's not for the faint of heart, and was actually kinda hard to sit through. More importantly, it's genuinely brilliant.

>>27452098
Sure, but wasn't it entertaining?

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It's just nice to be able to put
something like this

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Not a single one of you scrubs...

Shamed.

>>27451955
The same thing that happened to yours, Orphan.

>>27452043
It is widely, nay universally, agreed to be the single worst film ever made.

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>Turn my chair backwards
>Put "Frozen" on
>Look amazed at them dancing and singing at the rhythm of the songs on screen
...well, at least I could find a use for that movie not counting Elsa porn

>>27452160
i was trying to think of a way to phrase this sentiment
well played anon, well played

>>27451833
>"Thats no moon"
>Luna walks off

>>27452101
fluttershy is scarred for life
Rainbow dash enters a depression like no other
Pinkie Pie is never the same
Twilight cries into celestias shoulder
Luna, is frozen in place
Rarity has fainted
Applejack is bawling
Discord is laughing his ass off

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>>27452200
>ponies crying
>discord is laughing his ass off
>pic related

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Settle in girls, we've got a lot of film to run through.

>>27452200
Spoons rattling

>>27452218
>Best friend

>>27452242
>Iron Man: Twilight storms off mid-movie to create a magic construct-armor
>Hulk: Fluttershy starts clinging to your arm in the first 10 minutes. And her hold gets stronger and stronger
>Iron Man 2: the projection gets disrupted by Twilight's magic armor/construct
>Thor: ponies fall asleep
>Captain America: Rainbow Dash and Applejack have 3 consecutive orgasms all by themselves, on the seats
>The Avengers: ponies screaming incoherently

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>>27452242
>fucking capeshit

Why are you so cruel to the ponies?

Show them some proper kino, like pic related.

>>27452181
I wonder if the name is cursed or if it's coincidence that the thread is also terrible, worse than diaries of a madman.

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>>27452274
its part of the fun, at the end i get to 'explain' pym particles to twilight.

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>>27452181
No, that would be Ben & Arthur by the auteur, Sam Mraovich.

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>>27452291

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So how would they react?

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>>27452291
Bah, nothing but shallow flicks lacking in substance.

This is a real hero.

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>>27452246
Did someone say spoons?

>>27452324
its okay /tv/

/co/ didnt mean anything by enjoying their hobby.

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Think about elements inside they head.

>>27452338
>Manly Horse show up
>Mare having wet dream

>>2745*Celestia takes out notepad and pencil*

>>27452344
>pinkie is 4 joys with one sadness locked in a cage

>>27452318
> Celestia takes out note pad

>>27452359
>>27452344
real talk wasn't anyway else pissed at Joy when she tried to leave sadness to die?

>>27452371
oh yeah, joy was a colossal fuckup.

>>27451978
No actually
She bit the dust hard
Say where are your parents by the way?

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>>27449504

>>27452371
>>27452378
that reminds me an old saying
>"i'm always happy"said the foolish

>>27452130
Not really. Far too many awkward sex scenes and forced drama to be entertaining.

>>27452454
Does it have to do with director?

>>27452344
Recently discovered some friends didn't like inside out or up. Not friends anymore. Inside out is the best pixar movie and up is amazing. Also made a new friend when he defended my case

>>27452542
>Up Inside

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They better be ready for the long haul.

Alternatively the Heisei Gamera Trilogy since it's only 3 movies.

>>27450238
>Rainbow loses wing in an alternate timeline
>no dude i swear she hard af
Fucking apply yourself.

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>>27449004
>you show this
>ponies starts to have bruises and wounds and no one want to tell where or how they got them.

>>27449118
As true and heart warming that is, when do we say that this is somewhat dramatized by Hollywood?

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>introducing Equestria to human cinematography
>picking trash and or memes
come on /mlp/ have some tact

I'd pick pic related or maybe;
Citizen Kane
8 1/2
Vertigo
12 Angry Men
Ivan's Childhood
or maybe Seven Samurai