Hype Quest: The CYOA

“Working while you're pregnant? Are you sure you can handle that?”
>”What? You don’t think I can do it?”
“No no! Just, you know, most mares don’t”
>”Well I am not most mares!”
>Well, she does have a point
“If you’re really set on it, it would help. Though it would have to be a job where you don't have to do much physically”
>”Hmmm”
>She begins to ponder that statement, mind no doubt in other places
“How about your potions? Your mane care thing worked great on me… minus the pink fur”
>”I uh… don’t know if I could get a certificate to legally sell such things”
“Well what else do you think you’d be good at?”
>”Maybe a call receptionist? Yeah! I’m great with other ponies!”
“U-um”
>”What do you think?”

>>27406361
Yeah that would work. How about we do a little roleplay and see how you'd handle a situation?
I would like to talk to mr. jellybean please. is he in?

>>27406370
I dunno...

>>27406370
Maybe you could get a job at that alchemy place?
I mean there's a salamander but they apparently only make customers go near it.

>>27406643
Seconding this.

“I dunno...”
>”Oh come on Hype”
“Maybe you could get a job at that alchemy place? I mean there's a salamander but they apparently only make customers go near it”
>”How big of a salamander?”
“Huge”
>”Hm. Well I suppose I could look into that”
“Great! I’ll give you the address”
>”I’ll give them a look tomorrow. But if I do call center stuff I could work from home, right?”
“Maybe? I’m not really sure”
>”Well all you need is a phone! How hard could it be?”
“Ok, how about we do a little roleplay and see how you'd handle a situation?”
>”O-oh, I thought you hated roleplay. Well except for that time I dressed up like a mang-“
“CALL RECEPTIONIST ROLE PLAY. I meant call receptionist roll play dear”
>”Oh. Well sure, fire away!”
“Ok, uh… I would like to talk to Mr. Jellybean please. Is he in?”
>”Yes”
“… Can I speak with him”
>”Hey! Don’t get snippy with me mister!”
“Miss please, I was jus-“
>”Just what? Not satisfied when I answer your questions?"
"Mam' I only wan-"
>" I’ll curse you!”

>>27406736
Yelp in fear and cover ears.

>>27406736
stop, you can't curse ponies over the phone. it would be wrong to do that. it could be somepony important to business or to mr.jellybean. what if that was his brother or something?
you're supposed to check in with him and then either forward the call or say he's busy and to try calling later.

>>27406736
... Try the alchemy place first sweety.

>You yelp, covering your ears quickly
>She just gives you a confused stare
“... Try the alchemy place first sweety”
>”What? Why? Did I not pass?”
“Not exactly”
>”Well give me a reason why!”
“Ok, keep in mind that I work in a business. You can't curse ponies over the phone. It would be wrong to do that”
>”Why? You were being rude”
“It could be somepony important to business or to Mr. Jellybean. What if that was his brother or something?”
>”I-I don’t know”
“You're supposed to check in with him and then either forward the call or say he's busy and to try calling later”
>”Well you didn’t ask to be forwarded! I answered your question!”
“I know dear, but don’t give yes or no answers. Try to solve their problem”
>She covers her face in her hooves, groaning
>”I really do have no marketable skills”
“Oh cheer up dear, you’ll fit right in at that alchemy shop!”
>”But what if I want to do more than make potions? I should be an independent mare and I can’t even mop the ceiling right!”

>>27407122
Honey, neither of us need to be independent. We're together now, we depend on each other.

and you're pretty great at making potions, I'm sure you'd fit right in at that alchemy shop.

>>27407122
It might make awhile but you can learn. All that's really needed is the desire to be better. Then you just keep learning from your mistakes until you get it right.

>>27407122
Then you'll have to learn something new from scratch.
I could teach the the best ways to clean up around here if you like.

“Honey, neither of us need to be independent. We're together now, we depend on each other”
>”That doesn’t make me feel better when I can’t even hold a simple telephone conversation”
“Then you'll have to learn something new from scratch. I could teach you the best ways to clean up around here if you like”
>”I guess that couldn’t hurt… but it’s not just the cleaning, it’s everything. If I couldn’t brew potions I don’t know what I’d do”
“And if I couldn’t sort minerals I’d be in the same position. Everypony has their talent”
>”But I’m so bad at everything else”
“It might make awhile but you can learn. All that's really needed is the desire to be better. Then you just keep learning from your mistakes until you get it right”
>”That’s what my mom said”
“And what’d she do for a living?”
>”Sell potions”
>Well at least it runs in the family
“Hey, don’t feel that way. You're pretty great at making potions, I'm sure you'd fit right in at that alchemy shop”
>”I guess you’re right…”
“They’ll be lucky to have a pony like you”
>”I hope so”
>Yawning, she stretches, hopping off the couch
>”Thanks again for helping tonight. I think I’m going to hit the hay”

>>27407661
Me too. Let's hit the hay.

>>27407661
help her a bed.
consider that while she is pregnant you can cum inside all you want.

>>27407661
Did we even eat dinner or feed doggo and I'm not remembering? Let's go to bed if so.

“Me too. Want me to help you to bed?”
>”I’m an independent mare”
>With that she pops out of existence in a flash of light, the bed creaking a fraction of a second later
>Darn teleportation always ruining your chances to be a gentlebat
>As you lift your hoof to walk away, your stomach growls
>Huh. Guess you forgot to feed yourself
>And Doggo for that matter
>Trotting to the kitchen you call out
“Doggo! Dinner!”
>Your sensitive hearing immediately pics up on the nearly silent flapping of wings
>Your little battie quickly swoops into the room
>But upon seeing you, he hits the brakes, hovering in mid air
“… Yeah. If I didn’t bail you out, this would be yo-“
>”Kekekeke!”
“I-it’s not funny”
>The bat continues to kee without restraint at your predicament

>>27407992
Lick the whole mango before giving him a piece.

>>27407992
>Irresponsible kekekeing
You monster.

>>27407992
the more you keke the less fruit you get so just laugh it up buster.
or would the more hype thing to do is ignore it and then wait for it to get out of his system?

beb

>You feel like threatening to give him less mango the more he laughs, but that’d be a bit rude
>Instead you opt to wait for him to get it out of his system
>With a stern face you watch as the bat kees
>And kees
>… and kees
>That’s it. No more mr. nice bat
>Grabbing the mango you extend your tongue, making sure to give a good, long lick around it
>Doggo immediately shuts it, looking to you with panicked eyes
“Thought so”
>Cutting a chunk for him you quickly snatches it up, flapping away
>Consuming your portion you lick the core, heading off to bed
>Crawling in gently as not to disturb the sleeping mare you close your eyes
>Tomorrow’s gonna be a rough day
>…
>Slamming the alarm as usual you roll out of bed, ready for another glorious day in the service sector
>Heading into the bathroom you flick on the light, smiling into the mirror
>… And you’re still pink

>>27408483
we need to go to a beauty salon and ask for spray on hair. We'll cover the important parts like our face and legs. Though for most of the day we wear a jacket and stay in our office for as long as we can.

>>27408483
Positive thinking Hype!
It's only for a day, and Wewuz will look strange too. We can just treat it like a joke!

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>>27408516
This. Positive thinking! It's only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing, plenty of stallions are pink.

>>27408516
>go to work
>Wuz got a tail wig

>>27408665
tricky zebra

pink is the new hotness bump

We just colored our coat pink to help raise awareness for crotchboob prancer.

Pink is cool bump

batu pinku

>>27411012

I'm hype for Hype.

>>27411012

>>27406361
>Even more autistic batcancer CYOA
>Just because Res doesn't want to lose his group of batfags circlejerking over his work just yet

>>27413501
But batfags are objectively superior.

“It’s going to be ok Hype, just think positively”
>Yeah, plenty of stallions are pink
>Just not bat stallions…
>Frowning you still can’t get over your fur
>Maybe you could play it off as a joke? You could say Wewuz is in on it too, he looks ridiculous as well
>Or you’re trying to raise awareness for mammary gland cancer
>Ok maybe you’ll save that one if things get real rough. You’re saving the foal from the bubblegum avalanche is more believable anyway
>Trotting to the hallway closet you quickly pull out a coat, donning it
>It might not cover your flanks, but you could possibly get spray out hair dye and fix it?
>Zipping up the collar as high as it will go you throw the hood up, heat already building in the summer morning
>”Hype?”
>Raven walks out of the bedroom, rubbing her eyes
“H-hey. Just heading off to work”
>”You look ridiculous. More ridiculous than if you just left the coat”
“I’m going to get laughed at either way”
>”Well just remember, they’re laughing only because you look genuinely funny”
“… Gee thanks”
>”No problem dear. I’ll get started on those potions after breakfast, drop them off at your work later today”

>>27413255

>>27414443
Thanks hun, appreciate it.

>>27414443
You're the best.

Goodbye kissu.

>>27414443
she's right, they'll be laughing about the coat but the coat is temporary, so they're not really laughing at us.

“Thanks hun, you’re the best”
>Leaning in you give her a goodbye kiss, ready to face the outside world
>Although she may be right about you looking ridiculous in the coat, at least your coworkers will be laughing at it, so it’s like they’re not really laughing at you at all!
>Glancing at the mirror one last time as you head out your ears flop as you clearly recognize a pink face and hindquarters
>Well, at least you won’t be recognized at a distance
>Running outside you board the bus a short while later, getting underway
>Sitting towards the end you try to ignore the entire compliment of passengers peering back at you
>M-maybe they all just want to look out your window?
>Cringing you attempt to hunker down even further into the coat
>This is hoofs down the worst bus experience of your life
>At least when it got hijacked everypony wasn’t judging you specifically
>”Mister?”
>Snapping out of your self-conscious thoughts you find a small earth filly before you, gazing up to you in confusion
“Why hello there dear, what can I do for you?”
>”… Are you gay?”
>…

>>27414905
no, just cursed to look gay.
It happened because I lied when I shouldn't have. Let that be a lesson.

>>27414905
Don't do drugs kid.

>>27414905
Not every ponies sexuality is determined by their colour dear... just most of them.

>>27414905
There's literally nothing gay about being pink.

“Not every pony’s sexuality is determined by their color dear... just most of them”
>”… So are you gay?”
“No, just cursed to look gay. It happened because I lied when I shouldn't have. Let that be a lesson”
>”I don’t understand”
“Just don’t do drugs kid”
>”O-okay”
>She quickly skitters off
>Well, you think you really got through to her
>The bus soon comes to a halt, doors opening
>Guess this is your stop
>Getting off you tuck as much of your face behind the coat as possible, walking up to the company’s entrance
>Alright, no big deal. Just stay positive, and remember that Wewuz still looks funnier
>You hope
>Right as you turn to go inside you run into a familiar Zebra coming the other way, both of you stopping right before the door
>Looking slightly behind at his flank you see a mop head poorly tied to his dock
“Hey”
>”… Hey”

>>27415266
So the potions to fix ourselves should be here later today. Hopefully my wife will call ahead. Until then let's just stay locked in our offices for as long as we can. we don't usually interact that much anyway.
now try to sneak to your office!

>inb4 potions are mixed between us and he ends full black coat and our pinkness grows even stronger

>>27415266
Isn't that really uncomfortable?

>>27415415
A zebra is only as good as his tail

“Isn’t that really uncomfortable?”
>”I feel as though it’s better than a ticket for indecent exposure”
“Well, uh, the good news is that the potions should be here later today!”
>”So we still have to actuall go into work like this?”
“Yes, but my wife will bring them, she promised. But until then let's just stay locked in our offices for as long as we can. We don't usually interact with other coworkers that much anyway”
>”Alright, but let’s get a move on before everypony starts showing up”
>Nodding in agreement, you cautiously push open the door
>Maybe you can sneak away to your office without being seen
>”Thank you for attending Standard Mineral Company’s first public tour! If you have any quest- Oh quickly ladies and gentlecolts! If you look off to your right you will two metrosexuals”
>The crowd bursts into laughter, cameras flashing, causing you to shield your light sensitive eyes
>Wewuz tries in vain to cover his fake tail
>The crowd continues to take pictures, nearly blinding you as Wewuz makes a scene next to you
>”You can’t treat me this way! My ancestors were kings!”
>So much for thinking positive

>>27415847
Wewuz, just calm down. We can get through this.

>>27415847
just run. You know the building like the back of your hoof. Hurry zebra who I won't name!

>>27415847
Whoever it is directing the tour is officially off the birthday card list.

>>27415847
Take off your jacket and show the cameras what a gay queen looks like :^)

>You know that you shouldn’t let your emotions get the best of you, but whoever it is directing the tour is officially off the birthday card list
“Wewuz, just calm down! We can get through this”
>”Hey get a close up of his tail!”
>Reaching out you pull Wewuz, snapping him out of his daze
>Galloping away with the last remaining part of your dignity, you and your friend navigate the building like the back of your hooves, confused coworkers watching you sprint by
>With another turn you two find yourselves in your hallway, offices dead ahead
>Taking a moment to pant, Wewuz eventually speaks up
>”If your wife doesn’t show up by closing, I’m camping out in my cubicle. And then I’m going to slightly rearrange yours without previous permission”

>>27416123
N-no

>>27416123
You wouldn't!

>>27416123
Please don't... we're in this together...

>>27416123
Wewuz don't even say such blasphemies. I will forgive you however because I know you're not being yourself.

>>27416123
we should just come up with fake names, no one will know its us.

We're named... Wishy Washy.

>>27416123
We just need a fake name
I'm Pink Platinum and you could be Kingo Crimson.

“N-no. You wouldn’t!”
>He sits down, crossing his hooves
>”I might…”
“Please don't... we're in this together”
>”The only ‘we’ here is in my name. You’re the whole reason my tail is gone!”
“Look, I know you’re miffed, but I promise this’ll be fixed”
>”Promise?”
“Of course buddy”
>He holds his upset pose for a few more seconds, but finally cracks
>”Oh alright. I couldn’t bring myself to do it anyway”
“Thanks Wewuz. I’ll because I know you weren’t being yourself”
>”But I don’t want to lay low all day”
“Well we just need fake names. I'm Pink Platinum and you could be Kingo Crimson. If anypony asks, we’re new employees”
>”I’ll keep that in mind”
>”Hey, I think I saw them go this way!”
“We should probably get to work”
>”Way ahead of you!”
>Wewuz practically dives into his cubicle, slamming the door
>You follow suit quickly
>After making sure you’re safe the first thing you do is take off the coat, fur cooling immediately
>Plopping down at your desk you start to review today’s work load
>Phone ringing suddenly, you snatch it up
“Hello?”
>”Hype? You have a business call for a Mr… Gar?”
“What?”
>”He said you were doing sales with him”
“Uh… yeah, sure. Put him through”
>The line rings a couple more time before a familiar unicorn’s voice breaks over it
>”Ayy, Hype!”
“Gar? What are you doing? This line is for business only!”
>”I know! I couldn’t get a personal call through so I said that I was some important customer. They transferred me right over”
“GAR!”
>”No need to thank me. Anyway, you up for hanign out with the guys tonight? We’re going to the fruit bar!”

>>27416588
Fruit bar you say...

>>27416588
Maybe, we might be busy, can we call you later in the day to confirm it?

>>27416588
I'm down! Well, that'd be what I want to say. I should probably check with Raven though. You know how she can get.

I'll call you back on my lunch break. No personal calls during work hours.

“Fruit bar you say...”
>”Yup! Fruggy says it’s the best one in town, so you know it’s good”
>Fruggy is the biggest fruit connoisseur that you know. Legend says that he’s the reason there was a mango shortage the other year
“I’d love too, but I might be busy, can we call you later in the day to confirm it?”
>”Is it your wife?”
“You know how she can get, it’d be best to check in with her first”
>”Come oooooon. What if she says no?”
“I’ll talk to her Gar. But I don’t want to promise anything”
>”Fine. But she better say yes!”
“I’ll see what I can do. Now I'll call you back on my lunch break, no personal calls during work hour”
>”Alright, I get it. But Hype, you won’t believe what I saw this morning on the way to work! A pink bat! Can you believe that? A PINK bat!”
>Laughter breaks over the phone, Gar unable to restrain himself
>”I mean, what loser dyes their fur pink? Can you believe that? I wish I could have taken a picture”

>>27417079
[small keke]

>>27417079
Goodbye Gar

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>>27417161
I love you famm

>>27417079
Are you sure there isn't something wrong with your eyes? Did you really see a pink bat? Either way have a nice day Gar.

beb

odd, we're not even Gars first pink bat.

>>27417079
What about that pink bat at the museum? The one you complained about calling you gay when you wore a fedora?

>>27406361

get hype

>>27417161
>Posting batshit meme that only a batfag would love

>>27422250

>>27423419

it's almost as bad as an idiot that would use a gun and try to shoot nails instead just using the butt of it.

>>27424035

>>27425597

“Are you sure there isn't something wrong with your eyes? Did you really see a pink bat?”
>”I swear! He looked like such a dork”
“But you’ve seen pink bats before. What about that pink bat at the museum? The one you complained about calling you gay when you wore a fedora?”
“He was purple! The cool kind not the gay kind”
“Well, sometimes ponies do crazy things. I saw on the news once that some idiot used a pistol as a nail gun”
>”… I-I have to go”
“Take care Gar. I’ll call you as soon as I ask Raven”
>”Alright, hope to see you buddy!”
>Hanging up, you shake your head
>Such a nice pony. But not the smartest
>”Hype, I heard you came in wearing a winter coat”
>Your door opens up, boss peaking in
>”You know that that’s against company policy since those Mooselim attac-… oh”
>He gives your pink body a top down look
>”Did you handle another Radon shipment? If so be sure to call HR after you use the chemical shower”

>>27426751
No, my wife brewed a hair care product and needed a guinea pig.

>>27426751
There's no need for that sir. The situation should be resolved by the end of the day.

>>27426751
No sir, just had a run in with some experimental shampoo.
Won't be using that again.

“There's no need for that sir. The situation should be resolved by the end of the day”
>”I don’t want more radiation spreading. Sit tight, I’ll send a decontamination team up”
“It’s not radiation sir, just had a run in with some experimental shampoo. Won't be using that again”
>”What brand? I’d sue if I were you”
“Unfortunately homemade. My wife brewed a hair care product and needed a guinea pig”
>”Well that’s what marriage will do to you. But anyway, speaking of marriage, have you talked to that jeweler about the emerald?”
“Sure have boss, I think I’m going to take a payment plan out on it”
>”Good, good. You know Hype, you’re a dedicated pony, to your family and your work”
“Thank you, I just want to do my best”
>”Well I think you deserve a little help. Hype, how’d you like a raise?”

>>27427114
Really sir? That would be so kind of you, I don't know what to say

>>27427114
That would be very much appreciated sir.

>>27427114
W-wow sir, I'd really appreciate that.

>>27427114
Wag our battie tail.

>Your tail starts to involuntarily wag
“W-wow sir, I'd really appreciate that”
>”It’s no problem. How’s an extra 500 a month sound?”
>With that kind of increase you could pay off that emerald in three months’ time instead of six
“That’s so kind of you. I don’t know what to say”
>”Just keep up the good work. You’re employee of the month for a reason”
“W-well, Wewuz won it that one time”
>”That’s because he was able to hook us up with some customers in Neighgeria… speaking of him, I have to see if he’s mentally all there after losing his tail”
>Closing the door, he trots down the hallway
>A minute later you can barely hear Wewuz ranting about his lost tail
>Returning to work, you pick up a new box to sort
>Oh boy, Radon!
>As time moves by, your lunch break gets ever closer
>Good thing you put in this minifridge, or you’d have to brave the hallways again in your pink form to find lunch
>Stomach growling, you pop open the door, looking for your emergency fruit
>But all you see is an empty plate, small stick note on top
>’Hype, I owe you one (1) mango- Wewuz’
>Your smile starts to fade as reality kicks in
"N-no..."

>>27427680
W-why

>>27427680
Yell out "wewuz!" Alright. This is fine. Just tell whoever is outside the office to go out and get you some food. give them 10 and say to get you some fruit and whatever is left over for themselves.

>>27427680
If he owes it then he can go get it.

“W-why?”
>The longer you stare at the note, the more anger builds up inside you
>That fruit was for emergency situations only, and he knew it
“WEWUZ!”
>The skittering of hooves makes its way to your door
>”Got the cure?”
“No I don’t have the cure! But I have a note here that says you owe me a mango!”
>”Oh, right… I was just really hungry the other day”
“Well, it says that the note is good for one mango. So I think I’ll cash in on it”
>”R-right now?”
“Yeah. You wouldn’t go back on an IOU would you?”
>He nervously looks around, trying to think of a way out of this
>But he nods, conceding
>”I’ll be back”
>The door shuts, zebra galloping away
>”Nice tail”
>”SHUT UP!”
>Sometimes you just don’t understand that zebra
>It’s almost like he-
>A knock on the door breaks your train of thought
“Wewuz I swear if there isn’t a mango in your hooves I’ll OH!”
>Raven stands in the hallway, saddle bags packed
“H-hey there”
>”Got the antidotes, as promised"

>>27428059
Thanks Raven, you're a lifesaver

>>27428059
Great! I knew you could do it honey. Give her a kiss. let's fix this pink thing right now.

>>27428059
Not a command for Hype, but I honestly feel like she's going to trick us.

>>27428059
Nice, thanks honey. Are they labeled? Wouldn't want to get them mixed up.

>>27428149
This.

>Sighing in relief, you usher her inside before anypony spots your colorful coat
“Raven, you’re a real life saver, so thank you so much”
>Planting the liveliest kiss you can muster she recoils back a bit in surprise before blushing
>”W-well you’re welcome. It was my fault you’re pink anyway”
“Well let’s get this thing fixed. Are the vials labeled? Wouldn't want to get them mixed up”
>”Uh, well this one is”
>She pulls out a single vial
>’Tail Growth’
“Wh-where’s the pink remover?”
>”Oh it’s completed too. It’s just back at home”
“…Why?”
>”In order for it to work, you need water. A lot of it”
“I don’t follow dear”
>”You need a bath Hype. I need to apply it as you bathe”

>>27428525
S-so you can't give me the antidote?
O-oh.

Also unrelated, but now's a good time to ask if we can go to the fruit bar with Gar later tonight.

>>27428525
well then we have to cancel our plans to see gar tonight.
we could have gotten the water from the chemical shower they apparently have here.

“S-so you can't give me the antidote?”
>”Well of course I can! After work that is”
“Oh. Well I actually wanted to go to the fruit bar with the guys tonight”
>”The fruit bar? I don’t like you going to that place”
“But it has the best juice in town!”
>”And plenty of fermented fruits! And promiscuous sluts who are just waiting to get their hooves on a nice married stallion!”
>Green flames light up around her eyes, teeth gritting
“R-raven please, there’s smoke detectors here”
>She quickly realizes that she’s making a scene and gets a grip
>”S-sorry. But still, it’s not a good place!”
“I don’t even know if I could go know that I need a potion bath”
>”Oh the bath shouldn’t take that long… I guess you can go?”
“You mean it?”
>”Aw what the heck, you helped me organize mare’s night, you go ahead and have guy night. I trust you”

>>27428996
Assure Raven that we will not even look in any other mare's general direction.
And mean it.

>>27428996
thank her and give her a kiss.

>>27428996
Ravens fears are well founded. Hype is super attractive which is how we got out of being cursed by her in the first place. One can only imagine what sluts will come onto him.
Tell her we'll be home before 11 because we still have work the next day.

>>27429078
Haven't read the CYOA this is based off of.
Is this true?

>>27429351
No. He would constantly scare girls off because he was a clingy shit, that's why he got cursed.

>>27429351
He was a turbo beta.

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>>27429363

>>27429351
kind of. when hype and raven met for the first time she thought he was cute. that griffin chick was also into him.

“Aw, thanks dear”
>Planting a tiny peck on her cheek you sit down in your office chair
>”I mean it. Don’t talk to those mares, they’re whorses”
“I swear to you that I will not even look in any other mare's general direction”
>”Promise?”
“Of course. Me and the guys are just going for a few drinks”
>”Alright then. And you better not come back a stumbling mess”
“I’ll be home before 11, I have work in the morning anyway”
>A relieved smile creeps across her muzzle, her eyes darting around
>”You know, I’ve never been to your work before”
“Well, this is where the magic happens! They let me do everything from paperwork to rock sorting in here!”
>”They gave you your own cubicle?”
“Sure did. All for me”
>The door creaks open behind you two, black and white muzzle peeking in
>”Uh Hype? I’ve got your mango”
>”AND they gave you your own secretary? I didn’t realize you were such a big shot around here”

>>27429622
Very funny Wewuz. This is actually my wife. Take the fruit and introduce the two. then tell him that the potion to fix his tail is here.

>>27429661
I think that was Raven talking, although we should still introduce them.

>>27429622
No honey, that's Wewuz. He's a friend. Hey Wewuz! I got your tail problem fix right here! But don't thank me, thank Raven.

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Pausing

>>27429810
pls be in LONDON

we don't even need a secretary for our job do we?

beb

>>27430800
This is such an epic nice meme.

>>27429351
He was great at talking to buisness customers, but always beta'd out around mares. He lost his virginity to a griffon who ended up shredding him. He got so annoying trying to ask Raven out at a bar she cursed him before that, and the curse would kill him if he ever had sex, so he got into a few accidents involving bumper cars and squirrels. Hype had Gar win her over so the curse wouldn't kill him

>>27431358

up we go.

>>27432975

>>27434285

“No honey, that's Wewuz”
>”You named it?”
>”WHAT? Check your unicorn priv-“
“Woah, clam down Wewuz, this is my wife, Raven”
>”I don’t care who it is!”
“She also has your tail potion”
>”… Well hello there! I’m Wewuz, your husband’s friend!”
>He reaches you, vigorously shaking Raven’s hoof with a wide grin
>”Nice to meet you Wewuz. How’d you get a name like that anyway?”
>”My ancestors were royalty. But about that potion…”
>”I’ve got it right here”
>Extending out with her magic, he graciously takes it
>”How’s this thing work?”
>”Just dump it over your dock, but do it over a surface that you don’t want stained”
>”Well, I guess those old sales reports will do”
>Reaching into his saddle bag, he tosses you a bright colored object, the fruit landing in your waiting hooves
>”I hope you enjoy, the cashier at Ponemart wouldn’t stop laughing at my tail”

>>27437042
Thanks Wewuz, I will.

>>27437042
Bite into the fruit and make satisfied noises.

>>27437042
Oh yes, enjoyment will be had.

>>27437042
Ask waifu if she would like a bite of our mango.

“Thanks man, I will”
>Holding up the fruit its ripe skin glints just perfect in the light
>Oh, enjoyment will certainly be had
>Taking a bite you can’t help but make satisfied bat noises, wings slightly rustling
>Can’t beat instinct you guess
>”I’m going to go fix this mess, see you later Hype”
>Wewuz slowly shuts the door behind him, leaving you alone with your precious fruit
>Oh and wife
>Munching away, you swallow
>Where are your manners
“Dear, would you like a bite?”
>She peers at it, unsure
>”I don’t know”
“Come on, it tastes great! Ever since Fruggy started working at Ponemart they’ve never had a bad fruit shipment”
>”I’ve never actually had a mango. I’m not too big of a fruit eater”
“But dear, you won’t regret it!”
>She looks back to the fruit, giving you a tiny smile
>”Oh alright, lemme have it”
>Happily passing it she takes it, teeth sinking into it
>Chewing it around for a few seconds, you raise up on your tippy hooves
“Do you love it?”
>Swallowing, her muzzle scrunches
>”Bleh”
>The fruit is unceremoniously handed back to you

>>27437574
You, you don't like mangoes?

Oh, well, uh, more for me, I guess.

>>27437574
That's... okay.
More for us!

>>27437574
It's probably because she's pregnant. I mean, she thinks pickles and ice cream are good together right now. Maybe after she's delivered the little bungle of joy she can give it another chance.
In the meantime more for you!
Does she want to stay for a bit and see what a day at the office is like for you?

“You, you don't like mangoes?”
>”It tastes funny”
>Your eye twitches
“That's... okay. Uh, more for me, I guess”
>It must be because she’s pregnant. You mean, if she thinks pickles and ice-cream are a good combination, her tastes must be out of order. After she delivers your little bundle of joy she can sample it again
>Plopping back in your office chair you perk up again
“Want to stay a little bit? See what a day in the office is like for me”
>Peering at the clock she smiles
>”Oh what the heck, I don’t have to be at the alchemy shop for a while. Show me what you do for a living, stud!”

>>27437994
Start sorting and pricing rocks!

>>27437994
Talk her through the basics. Show her some of the uncut jewels.

“Well alright then!”
>With renewed enthusiasm you pick up a box of gems, popping open the lid
>”Oh my, those are pretty”
“Well these are uncut right now, so they’re pretty dull. But after I sort and price them, they’ll be sent of to various companies and get cut”
>”Then what?”
“Well then they end up on pretty unicorn’s horns”
>She giggles a bit, taking a seat right beside you
>”You know you can be a real charmer at times”
“I’m in my natural element here. Now come on, I’ll show you how to examine the crystal structure”
>Taking her through the basics, you end up going through the entire process, from opening the box to final pricing
“And then you add up all the estimates, and you’re done! It’s ready to sell”
>”And that only took an hour?”
“Well, I figured I’d give you a good look at all the steps”
>Looking back up to the clock Raven stands out of her seat
>”Well, I’d love to look at some more rocks dear, but I’ve got a job interview”
“You’re a show in, you know everything about potions”
>”That may be true, but I’ve never had an actual job before. All my alchemy has just been me screwing around at home”

>>27438580
Tell them about the potions you know how to make. They should like that. Also say that you're willing to learn how to make others.

>>27438580
Don't sweat it hun. You know the materials and what they're good for.
You can talk shop with the customers, make recommendations, maybe create some stock yourself.
They'd be stupid to let your skill-set pass by.

“Don't sweat it hun. You know the materials and what they're good for”
>”Well, I suppose I do know a bit…”
“Tell them about the potions you know how to make. They should like that. Also say that you're willing to learn how to make others”
>”I just hope that nopony else is applying”
“So what if they are? They’d be fools to let your skill set go by. I mean, you can turn bats pink for one thing”
>”Well when we get home we’ll fix that little error. Anyway, I’ll meet you back at home. Have fun at work”
“No pressure dear, you’ll done fine!”
>The door gently shuts, Raven trotting down the hallway
>A job should be good for her. Keep her from cursing ponies
>Or enable her to do it more
>As you think about your wife the door flies open
>”Hype!”
“Wewuz! You got your tail back!”
>”It’s horrible!”
“Wh-what is?”
>”The tail! Just look at it”
>He turns around, showing you the appendage
“It… looks exactly the same as before”
>”Are you blind? The old one was white with black stripes, this one is black with white stripes!”

>>27438995
Oh I kind of see it now. get some paint hairspray and color it later then. at least it has hair now right?

>>27438995
So you don't like black zebras?
Wewuz... that's racist.

>>27438995
Huh... that's too bad. Guess you'll be stuck like that.

“Oh I kind of see it now… huh, guess you’ll be stuck like that”
>”Hype! This is serious”
“Get some paint hairspray and color it later then. At least it has hair now right?”
>”But it’s not the same”
“What’s wrong with black with white stripes? Do you not like black zebras? That’s racist”
>”That’s not… I didn’t mean it like that”
>He gives his tail another look, groaning
>”How will I explain this to my wife?”
“Well how’d you explain the missing tail to begin with?”
>”I didn’t come home until after she was asleep, now way I was gonna tell her that”
“Come on Wewuz, will she REALLY notice?”
>”You think all zebras look the same or something?”
“Come on Wewuz, don’t turn this on me”
>He slowly slumps to the floor
>”Well, I guess it is better than being naked”
“That’s the spirit!”
>”Your wife did the best she could. By the way, how is living with a witch? I assume she led to your hair being pink”

>>27439360
Never a dull moment. This was the result of a hair care product.

>>27439360
she's pretty much a normal mare. Except occasionally she'll speak in a language I don't understand into a cauldron.

“She's pretty much a normal mare. Except occasionally she'll speak in a language I don't understand into a cauldron”
>”Well that’s not too bad. How’s the home life?”
“Never a dull moment. And if you’re wondering this was the result of a hair care product”
>”Hm. Well, I must say that your mane does look pretty good”
“Thanks, just got to fix the fur I guess”
>Getting up off the floor he opens up the door
>”Well, tell your wife I appreciate the tail. See ya Hype”
“Have a good rest of the work day Wewuz”
>The door shuts, leaving you alone once more
>The rest of the day goes by quick enough, the minerals being sorted with ease
>And only one tour group came to your office trying to take photos
>Packing up the last box you loosen your tie, leaning back in the chair
>Every rock sorted is another bit towards your foal’s future
>”Knock knock”
>A familiar face pokes into your office
“Raven, back already?”
>”It’s been hours Hype”
“Oh. Well go on, tell me about the shop”
>”Guess who just got their first job?”
>Holding a hoof up she shows you an official work certificate, wide smile on her muzzle

>>27439675
Congratulations honey!

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>>27439675
hug and a kiss.

>>27439749
I love you

>>27439675
Tell us all about it.

beb

sleep bump

>>27440861

>>27441936

I bump

>>27443599
I bully

>>27443622

bumping time.

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Do you think Baltimore will burn tonight?

>>27445412
Justice for Battie Gray

>>27444885

“Congratulations honey!”
>Jumping out of your seat you’re quick to give her a hug and kiss, the unicorn snuggling into your hooves
“I told you that they couldn’t pass you up”
>”Well, you were right. They said that they just needed an extra pair of hooves around the place”
“Really? Well tell me all about it”
>”Oh you know, they just took me around the shop, showed me all the ingredients, the various vials. Had me make a couple potions to show that I knew what I was doing”
“What kind of potions?”
>”Nothing really interesting. I just added some phosphates, scorpion venom, a big wad of zebra tail hair, a-“
“Zebra hair?”
>”Yeah it was just sitting in the lost and found. Anyway, I just whipped up some common stuff”
“Oh, well I’m proud of you dear. You sure know how to work with potions”
>”Well I’ve got one more potion to work with when we get home. You ready to look like a heterosexual again?”

>>27446415
You're darn right I am!

>>27446415
You have no idea!

>>27446415
lets do it.
But first fix my coat.

“You're darn right I am! Now let’s do it!”
>Opening the door you take a step into the hallway, pausing
“But can we fix my coat first?”
>Raven’s face immediately goes flat
>”Let’s… just get home”
>And you do just that
>Unlocking the front door you practically fly to the bathroom, slamming on the bathtub faucet
>Warm water starts to fill it up, your body dicing in
>With a splash you eagerly sit there, expecting grin on your face as Raven casually trots in
“Ok, so what do I do?”
>”Well, first you have to get entirely wet”
>Taking a deep breath you submerge underwater, letting the water soak you
>Coming up, you gasp
“Now what?”
>”Now you apply this to every inch of your fur”
>She tosses you a bottle filled with orange liquid, you snatching it from the air
>”It may burn a bit. And whatever you do, do NOT get it in your eyes”
“Wait, you’re not going to help?”
>”I have to go clean up a mess. I forgot to put the apples I bought in a bat proof container”
>Door slamming, you’re left all alone, save for the rubber ducky floating by

>>27446730
Alright. Get to washing.

>>27446730
We can just wait for raven.

>>27446730
Huh. Either she likes Doggo or we're losing out tufts afterwards.

>Huh. Either she likes Doggo or you’re losing out tufts afterwards
>And you really hope Doggo is a charmer
>Splashing around a little while you figure that you’ll just wait for Raven to help
>After all, you haven’t had very good experiences with potions
>But as the minutes tick on you start to worry
>You’re going to be late to the fruit bar!
>Squeezing the bottle, the mysterious liquid comes out, soon applied to your fur
>Feels just like shampoo actually
>Making sure to avoid your eyes you observe the water becoming pink, gray returning to your fur
>Letting it set, you dive under the water, squeezing your eyes shut
>Resurfacing you pull the plug, hopping out and heading to the mirror
>Your old gray self stares back
>Success!
>Grabbing a towel you begin the drying procedure
>Afterwards you poke your muzzle cautiously out of the bathroom
“Raven?”
>No response
>Tip toeing out, you head into the hallway
“R-raven? You’re not mad about Doggo are you?”
>Cringing, you peek around the corner into the kitchen, expecting to see her ready to steal you tufts
>Instead you see Doggo perched on her shoulder, licking her cheek
>Raven squeals, giggling like a little filly
“… Raven?”
>”Ah!”
>Snapping out of it she grabs the bat tossing him away as he flaps out of the room
>”And don’t let me catch you in the fruit again, or else!”

>>27447081
D'aww, she likes him.

>>27447081
we're gonna go to the fruit bar soon.

>>27447081
Thanks for fixing my fur, hun.

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>Cucked by Doggo
N-no.

>>27447192
No tufts. No wife. No reason to carry on.

>D'aww, she likes him
>Giving you an uneasy look she tries to fake anger, but fails
>You’re glad that she came to her senses and accepted Doggo
>… Wait, does this make you a cuck?
“H-hey dear, I’m still the only bat for you, right?”
>”Of course!”
>Well that solves that
“Thanks for fixing my fur, hun. I can walk around as a proud bat again”
>”Oh it was nothing. The tail formula was honestly harder to make”
“Wewuz told me that he was grateful by the way”
>”Your coworker was very nice to get you a mango for lunch”
>If only she knew he was a fruit thief
“Well, I’m going to head to the fruit bar soon”
>”Alright. But here’s the ground rules. No mares, Three drink maximum, and you have to be back before 11”

>>27447464
Got it.

>>27447464
4 drinks but we have to eat something too.

“How about four drinks?”
>Her bros furrows, giving you a displeased look
>”You know that alcohol can turn a good stallion into an adulterer!”
“Come on dear, I already promised no mares. And I’ll eat something along with the drinks”
>She huffs, crossing her arms
>”Fine. But I better not got a call from the police saying you pancaked against the side of a building while flying”
“I’ll be careful dear. Love you!”
>Giving her a smooch she can’t help but smile, shaking her head as you leave for the door
>”11 PM! Don’t forget!”
>Next stop fruit bar!
>Excitedly trotting out of the house you launch upwards, flying towards the city
>Flapping along you get a perfect view of the city’s skyline, buildings lit up in the darkness
>Swooping towards the bar, you land at the front stop, sensitive ears already picking up on the music inside
>Lu Fruttu
>Pushing open the door, a wave of screes and kees great you
>Bat ponies fill almost every corner of the room, some hanging upside down as the enjoy their drinks
>You’ve been to this bar once, but you already know that 90% of the customers are bat ponies
>Any others are just usually trying to leave with a bat for the night
>Just barely avoiding an inebriated stallion’s spilt drink you see a white unicorn waving to you at a corner booth
>Happily making your way through the crowd, you take a seat
>Next to Gar sits a brownish unicorn with a scar over his eye, one of his friends named Rocker
>He’s pretty cool, dating a bat mare
>And then there’s Fruggy, the legendary produce manager at Ponemart
>If a shipment doesn’t pass his taste test, the sale isn’t made
>”Hype, you made it!”
>The white unicorn happily greets you, pushing a glass towards you
>”We already got you a drink. It’s your favorite”
“What is it?”
>”Juice!”

>>27448231
Oh boy!

>>27448231
wow, thanks guys. So what's been going on with everypony? Tell them what's been going on with you.

sit next to rocker and make him uncomfortable.

>>27448440
What'd he do?

>>27448492
nothing, we're just hype and its bound to happen unintentionally.

“Oh boy!”
>Sliding up in the seat next to Rocker you gracious grab the mug, downing it
>A fruity sweet taste hits your tongue, causing your eyes to roll back
>This fruit bar sure knows what it’s doing
>Placing the now empty cup down you politely use a napkin you wipe your muzzle
>Well, that’s %25 of tonight’s allowed drinks
“Thanks guys, I needed that”
>”No problem! We just wanted to get you out here for guy night”
“So what's been going on with everypony?”
>Gar quickly pipes up
>”Ast let me pick out a lawnmower for the house we’re moving to”
>Ah yes, the humble lawnmower. True symbol of a home owner
>The unicorn next to you clears his throat
>”Although Nightlight’s mangoes are indisputably the best fruit in town, I told her that I needed a night out with you guys. She’s at home reading a book I think”
“How about you Fruggy, anything new?”
>”Oh, not much. Floral wanted to come but I convinced her that it was stallions only”
>You shudder at the thought of Floral coming to guy night
>She’s probably the biggest flirt you know of
>”How about you Hype? How’s the witch? Still trying to murder you with squirrels?”

>>27448834
No, she hasn't tried to do that in a good while though.

Although, she got me to test out her newest hair gel. There was a mixup and it turned my fur pink. Thankfully, she brewed an antidote.

She actually went out and got a job today, which was awesome. I'm really happy for her.

>>27448834
She said that she wasn't responsible for that...

anyway things with raven have been going great. she is just so sweet.

“She said that she wasn't responsible for that...”
>”I don’t know, those squirrels looked pretty malicious to me”
“Things with raven have been going great. She is just so sweet”
>”So no major magical disasters lately?”
>A waitress comes buy, dropped off a tray of drinks, the guys grabbing them
“Well, she got me to test out her newest hair gel. There was a mixup and it turned my fur pink”
>Gar’s expression immediately changes, eyes lighting up
“Thankfully, she brewed an antido-“
>Your explanation is interrupted by a unicorn spitting his drink
>“That was you? YOU were the pink bat?”
>Crap. You forgot he told you that he saw you this morning
“Look Gar, I-“”
“Ahahahaha!”
>Gar falls back into the booth, white hooves kicking in the hair as he bursts with laughter
>Rocker seems to be having a chuckle as well, Fruggy keeing across the table
>Patiently waiting Gar finally pulls himself back up, tears in his eyes
>”You, you were pink! PINK! Like totally colored pink! Oh my god I wish I had a camera”
>He points a hoof at you, barely holding himself up due to the laughter
>Uncharacteristically you raise you voice, attempting to change the subject
“She actually went out and got a job today! I'm really happy for her!”
>Your friends finally clam down, Gar the last one to cease his laughter
>Fruggy takes a sip of his drink, replying
>”A job? But you two have been fine on your salary, why’d she need a job?”

>>27449174
well, we want to get married. before the foal arrives.

>>27449174
Well, she really wants a chaos emerald set in her wedding ring, but it's so expensive that we can't afford it.

>>27449174
she wants to be a strong independent mare. also we're trying to buy a lot of stuff for a wedding. Tell them about the emerald she wants.

“She wants to be a strong independent mare”
>”I’ve heard that one before…”
“But really though, we want to get married before the foal arrives”
>”Yeah that’s probably a good idea”
>”It’s good not to be a stereotype”
“This is true. But she also really wants a chaos emerald set in her wedding ring, but it's so expensive that we can't afford it”
>”So what, she’s taking up a job to finance it?”
“Exactly”
>”Never heard of a chaos emerald. How much those things run for?”
“Well, to get it set in a ring and polished up, I need about three thousand bits”
>They all immediately pause, looking at each other
>”Three thousand huh?”
“Yeah. I’m not sure how much her job is paying, but at the most it should take about three months of saving”
>Gar leans slightly forward, excited grin on his muzzle
>”You know, if you need some cash, I got a little job you can help me with this weekend”
“Uh, what kind of job?”
>”It’s a secret. But Fruggy and Rocker are coming!”
>”Yeah, it’ll be like a camp out!”

>>27449574
That sounds like fun. Can I bring Doggo? I'll even get a little leash for him.

>>27449574
Im interested.

>>27449574
I don't know if Raven will be okay with that...
If it means money, maybe, but I'll have to ask her.

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It's that time of night

>>27449609
I love you.

$$$

What fiendish, questionably legal acts would a bat high on fruit juice agree to with his friends?
Find out next time in Hype Quest: Hype Goes To Jail!

>>27449574
what can you tell me that's not a secret then?

bump at 10.

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>>27451205
Nightlight 2 thick

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>>27454112

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>>27455240

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>>27455806

“I don't know if Raven will be okay with that... If it means money, maybe, but I'll have to ask her”
>”How could she say no to money? Trust us, she’ll let you”
“Well it does all sound fun. Can I bring Doggo? I'll even get a little leash for him”
>”What’s a Doggo?”
“That’s what I named the bat you gave me”
>”Oh. Well I’m glad he has a good home to influence him, especially after destroying almost five bits worth of Ponemart produce”
>Sipping on yet another glass of juice Fruggy gets an excited look in his eye
>”I could bring mangoes that we could place over the fire, make some smores out of them”
>You can already taste the heated gooey goodness
“So what exactly can you tell me that’s not secret about all this?”
>”Um, well I’ve got a cabin that we’re staying in. And there's a pond”

>>27456380
sounds nice. well then we get back to you on it tomorrow.

>>27456380
Let's bring our innertube.

>>27456380
Are there fish in the pond?

>>27456380
But why am I gonna get paid?

>Oh cool, you can bring your inner tube
>Maybe even arm floaties as well
“Are there fish in the pond?”
>”Of course! Just not any gar… not anymore”
>Gar starts looking off into space, unblinking
>You wave a hoof in front of his face, the unicorn snapping out of it
>”Wha’? O-oh, sorry about that, just… you know forget about it”
>He quickly takes another squig of fruit juice
>”But you’ll love it out there! Just you, me, and the guys, doing guy thing. And getting paid to do guy things”
“It sounds nice. But I’ll have to get back to you tomorrow on it”
>”We’ll be waiting for you buddy”
“But uh, why exactly am I getting paid?”
>”Oh don’t you worry about that, it’s nothing hard. Just come with an open mind and your bat senses”

>>27456786
You're really weirding me out about this, but okay.
New topic, you got a house all picked out, Gar? Excited to move out of Baltimare?

>>27456786
sounds sketchy, but we trust you gar.

>>27455806
okay

>>27456883
Hipsanon is that you?

>>27456786
I imagine Gar is going to use us like a pig to find truffles. Like using our bat senses to hunt fugitive changelings.

>>27456996
But why would he want changelings?

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>>27457047
So he can pretend to be his friend Shade.

“You're really weirding me out about this, but I trust you Gar”
>”How could you not trust a certified Ponemart manager? And I’ve even got the produce manager to back me up!”
>Fruggy takes another sip of his drink, not even paying attention
>”… This juice has 0.7% less sugar than they advertised. Where’s that waitress?”
>You wonder what he meant by your ‘bat senses’?
>Maybe he’ll use you to sniff out fruit or something?
>That would be a cool thing to get paid for
>Finishing your second drink you shudder a bit, juice working it’s magic
“So, you got a house all picked out, Gar?”
>”Mhm! It’s got three stories! AND a pool!”
>You really have no idea where he got all this money. Maybe he just had great credit
>”I should probably buy some water for the pool though. Damn realtors never tell you the hidden costs”
“Excited to move out of Baltimare?”
>”Well, kinda. Ast and me have been wanting a fresh start out of this riot magnet, but I’ll still miss the place. It’s gonna be hard leaving you guys”

>>27457218
Yeah, I'll miss you too Gar. I'm really happy for you though.

>>27457218
we'll visit when we can. you can be our foals favorite uncle.

>>27457303
That last bit sounded weird as fuck.

Seconded

“Yeah, I'll miss you too Gar. I'm really happy for you though”
>”I’ll miss you too buddy, but me and Nightlight could come visit you sometime”
>”I hope so Rocker. I bet all the small town ponies are going to be weird”
“Well hey, I'll visit when I can too. You can be our foals favorite uncle”
>”M-me? A favorite uncle?”
>You nod
>”Wow… can I be their god father too?”
“I’ll… think about that one”
>”Never thought I’d be an uncle ever since my brother got involved in one of those new age relationships”
>He slides a bar list towards you
>”Go on and order anything you want Hype, it’s on me”
“Anything?”
>”Anything”
>Your eyes dart through the list, looking at all the exotic drinks
>Kiwano Blast
>Durian Surprise
>Mangosteen Fizz
>Just about every fruit you can imagine has one drink or another
>You can even get a custom drink that mixes fruits
>It should be a crime to list so many delectable options…

>>27457761
Try the kiwano. it sounds... like a blast.

>>27457761
Mix the kiwano and mangosteen for a fruit flavored journey to neighvana.

>Hmmm
>Eye darting around, beads of sweat start to form
>You only have one shot to get this right
“Well, the kiwano sounds… like a blast”
>Fruggy quickly interjects
>”Kiwano is a great fruit, but it’s kinda hard to remove the seeds. That’s why it’s a bit more expensive”
“The more you know… but what if I mixed it with mangosteen?”
>All the guys go silent
>”I’ve… never thought of that before”
>”Think it’d be any good?”
>”Only one way to find out!”
>Gar quickly flags down the bat mare serving drinks
>”Waitress! Four of your finest kiwano-mangosteed juice mixes!”
>”You got it”
>She quickly trots off, order in hoof
>”Oh this is gonna be great, I can already feel it”
>Well, if Fruggy has a good feeling about it, then you do to!
>It takes a little while, but four drinks are laid out in front of you all
>A yellow tinted juice bubbles from the glasses, tickling your nose
>”Well… let’s see if the wait was worth it boys!”
>Grabbing the cup, you knock it back, juice hitting you tongue
>An explosion of flavor hits you immediately
>And then, darkness
>”Hey. Hey buddy”
>You groggily open your eyes, a hoof poking you in the nose
“Wha’? What happened?”
>”It’s closing time, you and your friends gotta go”
>Rubbing your head you find your three friends flopped over in their seats, or in Rocker’s case splayed out on the bar table
“That’s not right, this place closes at 2 AM”
>”It is 2 AM”

>>27458182
Oh no, I told Raven I'd be home by 11!

>>27458182
oh god no our wife is going to curse us.

>>27458182
ask to use the phone. it's really important that you call your wife. if they don't let you use the phone run!

>>27458182
we need an excuse. quick, get arrested.

>>27458182
We broke our promise to wifey.
Welp, that's it. Time to exile ourself to the badlands.
After we sell our organs and put the money towards our kid going to college of course.

>>27458242
What!? No! Raven will curse us harder if we get arrested...

>>27458182
Aw fuck

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>>27458182
>"It is 2AM"

>Oh no
>OH NO
>You need an excuse, quick!
>Maybe you could get arrested real quick?
>No, you haven’t had a record since you got a time out in kindergarden, you can’t start now!
“C-can I use your phone?”
>”Hurry up”
>You thank the waitress, skittering past her to the phone she points to at the bar
>Punching in the number as fast as you can you nervously play with the cord, the phone ringing
>A part of you fears her answering the phone, but this might be the only way to avoid getting cursed
>’Hello, you have reached the Hype residence. I’m really sorry that I can’t make it to the phon-… well of course I have to apologize Raven, it’s be rude not to’
>*BEEP*
>You should really consider changing your voice mail if you survive
>Hanging up the phone you begin to panic
>You’ll have to exile yourself to the badlands!
>After you sell your organs and put the money towards your kid’s college fund of course
>No matter the circumstances, no foal of yours will have less than a bachelor’s degree!
>Galloping back to the table your friends begin to wake up, Rocker peeling himself off the table of the bat waitress rolls her eyes, wiping the wood down with a rag
>”Oh man, my head… what happened?”
>Gar looks to you with unfocused eyes, Fruggy rubbing his temple next to him

>>27458592
I promised Raven I'd be back by 11, I'll get cursed for sure!

>>27458592
I'm three hours late getting home is what happened!
I need a good excuse guys!

sounds like ponies are people, the alchemist is the drug provider for the "circle" of jerkers, you wanted in paedophile ring but weren't up to the task of having it run through your home computer, so got the job as the alchemist after seeing the salamander, as only "customers" go near him, then you choose victims or go shopping for "produce" via instruction of the Produce manager, (Hype WeWuz) and a few others refer to keeping victims at home and prowling as "working while your pregnant". the pony thinks he can do more than drug the victims and says " I should be an independent mare and I can even mop the ceiling right", referring to the splatters that sometimes occur. re-affirming the paedophile ring dependency on groups the role model and organizer says to the protégé calmingly, "Honey, neither of us need to be independent. We're together now, we depend on each other.... If I couldn’t brew potions I don’t know what I’d do”
“And if I couldn’t sort minerals I’d be in the same position. Everypony has their talent”
in my opinion FUCK you paedophile rings, your reign over the lost will end soon!!!
WARNING WARNING red flag red flag red flag paedophile conversation

>>27458592
>not leaving a message
seriously?
you're coming with me to explain that we passed out because we experimented with a strong drink.

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Will Hype escape uncursed? Tune in tomorrow for the riveting answer

>>27458648
lel of course he won't.

I still love you.

>>27458629
Lay off the juice pal.

>>27458648
h-how important are tufts anyway? smooth ears are good enough for Gar...

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>>27458678
lel no they aren't

>>27458678
Hype isn't going to get off that easily. We're a whole 3 hours late. Losing just our tufts would be merciful.

We can say we were attacked on the way home, Gar! Rocker! can you rough us up as if you were unicorn extremists?

>>27458717
just tell her the truth. We don't need to make up anything.

>>27458717
[sweating unicorns]

Remember kids. Lying is a very unhealthy thing to do in a relationship.

>>27458881
So is cursing your spouse.

>>27458899
I'm pretty sure that's called discipline, my friend.

100% curse rate bump

>>27459732

>>27459732
I have optimism that she'll be understanding and rational

ya know the worse thing that can happen is that we're banned from ever going to a fruit bar again because we've shown that we can't handle the sweetness.

>>27461145
There's a 50/50 chance that she's moodswinged to being needy and believing we don't want her anymore.

>>27461197
juice 2 strong

i bet raven is at the police station right now. wondering what happened to her little batty.

>>27462003
How would raven describe hype to the officers?

>>27462199
He's a good battie, dindu nuffin.

>>27462199
height, age range, mane style, name and cutie mark.

>>27462232
yeah that's what they all say

we should take pictures of raven and us.

“I'm three hours late getting home is what happened!”
>His mind appears to be clearing, vision getting more focused
>”Three hours?”
“I promised Raven I'd be back by 11, I'll get cursed for sure!”
>”… Oh no”
>He immediately shoots out of the booth, almost in a panic
>”Please tell me you still have the bus ticket I gave you!”
>Quickly patting down yourself you come to the realization that you left it at home
“I-it’s back at my house!”
>Gar gasps, looking like he’s going to lose it
>”What do we do?!”
“I don’t know! G-guys, help me come up with an excuse!”
>Fruggy slowly shakes Rocker awake, the waitress scrunching as they work their way out of the booth
>”Geez Hype I dunno. Just tell her that you couldn’t hold your juice”
“What if she doesn’t buy that? Maybe I can tell her that I was jugged?”
>Yeah, yeah maybe she’ll take pity on you
“R-rocker, Gar, I need you to rough me up, pretend that you’re unicorn supremacists!”
>Their eyes both dart to each other, neighing in concern
>”We’d rather not…”
>Reaching forward you grab Gar’s chest tuft, pulling him
“Come on, you’re coming home and helping me explain this”
>”E-explain to Raven? Please no, I want to live!”

>>27464106
So do I.

>>27464106
be a friend gar. (you're the reason we're even in this damn mess in the first place)

>>27464106
It's to late gar and we both know it.

“So do I”
>”You’ll be fine, I’m sure she’ll understand”
“It's too late Gar and we both know it. Now be a friend”
>You resist the urge to tell him that it’s kind of partially his fault anyway
>”O-okay… but if flames start shooting out of her eyes again, I’m out!”
“Well come on, we’ve got to hurry”
>”You guys go on, I’ll help Rocker get home”
>Nodding you pull the reluctant Gar along, making towards the exit
>On the way out you pass by what appears to be a purple earth pony wearing some kind of fake bat pony getup, complete with wings and ear tufts, chatting to that waitress
>”I already told you the last time hun, I aint interested”
>”P-please! I can be a bat too! See?”
>Poor bastard
>Shaking your head you push past the desperate stallion
>Catching a taxi and you and head down the lonely streets back home, the unicorn nervously fidgeting with his hooves the entire way
>As the cab stops you pay the driver, quickly leading Gar to your front door
“Alright, 2:27, that’s not TOO late, right?”
>”Maybe I can distract her as you grab the bus ticket?”
>Trying not to entertain that idea you quietly unlock the door, stepping inside
>The home is quiet, but the living room light is on
>”H-how about you go in there and I’ll guard the door?”
>Both of you jump as a voice from the living room calls out
>”Hype? Is that you?”

>>27464523
Yes honey, Sorry i'm late. Mixed drinks. not even once.

>>27464523
say "hi raven, you are not going to believe what happened when we were at the bar"
explain that you passed out and for some reason you weren't awoken till closing time.
also for some dumb reason everyone in your party drank the same thing you did.

“Hi raven, you are not going to believe what happened when we were at the bar"
>She doesn’t respond
>Whispering you tug on Gar’s coat
“Come on, let’s get this settled”
>He stands there for a minute in a daze, but another tub snaps him out of it
>Walking in front of him you enter the room, finding Raven on the couch
>A pile of tissues lay on the ground next to her
>Upon seeing you she quickly hops off the furniture, galloping over
>”You better get explaining!”
“Alright look, I accidentally passed out after we experimented and mixed together an exotic drink. And then I got woken up at closing time”
>”Why didn’t your friends wake you?”
“For some reason we all decided to drink the same thing”
>Her hooves wrap around your neck, you recoiling thinking that she’s trying to strangle you
>But you get pulled into a tight hug, Raven’s muzzle resting on your shoulder
>”I-I was five minutes away from calling the police! Do you know how worried I’ve been?!”

>>27464847
Yes, we know. We're sorry for worrying you. We'll make it up to you by going to a nice dinner or something.
Tell her Gar is going to need you over the weekend. He said he was going to need you for a job.

>>27464847
>>27464847
Apologize and calmly kiss her.
Is it bad to say I was expecting this?

>>27464847
Hug her and apologize.

>Squeezing her back tightly you try to calm her down, giving her cheek a couple tender kisses
>You can feel from the fur that she’s been crying
“I know Raven, but I didn’t do it on purpose, honest. I would never let you worry if I couldn’t help it”
>”It still doesn’t help the fact that you came crawling home at almost 3 AM”
“I’m really sorry dear. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Maybe a nice dinner”
>She remains silent in your embrace, sniffling
>Gar stands awkwardly off to the side, shifting from hoof to hoof
“Dear?”
>”Y-yeah?”
“Gar needs me this weekend to help him with a job, and I was wonde-“
>”Why should I ever let you go anywhere with him again with a health conscious? You two just came stumbling home hours late, and you reek of booze!”

>>27465486
because he is going to pay me to help him with a small job. He really needs my help.
aren't we crucial to your plan gar?

>>27465486
He's paying well. Besides, maybe you can come with? it's a weekend, maybe you'll be free.

“He’s paying well”
>You try to give her a confident smile
>”What do you mean?”
“He’s going to pay me for a small job this weekend, really needs my help”
>You give Gar a glance
“Aren’t I very crucial to your plans?”
>”O-oh, yeah! Can’t do it without you!”
>His smile quivers, beginning to sweat as Raven glares to him
“Maybe you can come with us? It's a weekend, maybe you'll be free”
>Gar gently nudges you in the rib, whispering
>”Hype, it’s an all guy outing”
>Raven scrunches at him, giving a dangerous look
>Yelping, he falls back onto his plot, scooting away
>”Hype, I’ll think about it. I’m not in the mood right now”

>>27465821
How about we go to bed then?

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>>27465821
Is she in the mood for snuggles?

>>27465821
Thats fine, we can sleep on it. [now that it looks like we'll survive]

We can give Gar a call once we have an answer.

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>>27465880
Why is Gar so adorable at everything he does?

“That’s fine, we can sleep on it.”
>Giving you two another look she quietly walks off to the bedroom
>”Amazing…”
“What?”
>”We’re… we’re still alive. And not like in excruciating pain or terror either”
“I guess she was more worried than anything”
>”Well let’s beat it before she changes her mind”
>Walking him to the door you can tell he’s eager to get out of this place
“I’ll give you a call when she gives me an answer”
>”Sounds fine to me. Just… stay safe, ok?”
“I think she’s calmed down. I’ll be fine”
>”Alright. But hope you can come, I could really use you”
>Giving him a goodbye wave he clips off into the night, soon disappearing from view
>Shutting and locking the door you internally sigh in relief
>It’s a miracle either of you remain uncursed
>Rubbing your head to move to the kitchen, your temples feeling a bit off
>If that stuff was strong enough to knock Fruggy out you doubt it could be legal
>Drinking a couple glasses of water you seen enter the bedroom, Raven silently reading a magazine in the lamp light

>>27466236
do we feel slightly awake because we slept at the bar? should we eat something? perhaps just try to get to sleep and wish raven a good night?

>>27466236
climb under the covers from the foot of the bed and shark up to her, grabbing her and pulling her into your magical comforter kingdom.

then tell her we're sorry we made her worry and we love her.

>Although you aren’t totally tired due to your little nap at the bar, you decide to join her
>Trotting to the end of the bed you watch Raven turn another page, ignoring you
>Cheekily grinning, you climb under the covers, sharking your way to the resting maiden
>As soon as you make contact with your prey you reach out, grabbing her and pulling her to your magical comforter kingdom
>Rave yelps, magazines going flying as you take her under the covers
>“Hype, what the heck are you doing?”
“Living the bed shark life”
>Leaning in for a kiss her hoof is all you get lightly pushing your muzzle away
>”You’re drunk!”

>>27466581
I don't think so. I only had two drinks.

>>27466581
There is no such thing as being too drunk to cuddle now come here raven. Let me show you how much I love you with a hype hug!

>>27466604
>>27466625
You guys are asking to get fucked.

>>27466703
you're right. we forgot to say please.
say "pleeeeease" to raven and look at her with those big bat eyes.

>>27466581
Bah, kiss the hoof then.

>Giving the hoof a smooch she quickly draws it away
“I don't think so. I only had two drinks”
>”You just admitted to blacking out!”
“There is no such thing as being too drunk to cuddle. Now come here”
>”No way, you’ve caused enough trouble tonight”
“Pleeeease?”
>”No”
“Come on! Let me show you how much I love you with a Hype brand hug!”
>The mare is pulled even closer, scrunching as you embrace her
>”I’m not in the mood after that stunt you pulled”
>You stare at her with your big bat eyes, lip quivering
>Her scrunch intensifies at first, but you only stare harder, stars in your eyes
>She rolls her eyes, sighing
>”Alright, fine”

>>27467067
Yay!

>>27467067
Hug her and fall asleep while cuddling.

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Pausing. Hype will have to wait 16 hours for cuddles

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>>27467141
>Bluehoofed for 16 hours

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>>27467141

aww yeah, time for some cuddling.

>>27467184

>>27467180
so sad