Well, you did it. You made it to Equestria. The promise land.

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>>27364347
Come on 0!

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>>27364366
>Dubs
No one shows up and I successfully kill myself, since I have no friends the house has to be condemned by the time someone finally finds me.

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>>27364347

>>27364347
the pussy better be good for this roll

So pretty much my life right now, but I have suicidal tendences? Man, equestria sucks

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>>27364347

holla holla lets rolla

>>27364347
Rollin'.

>>27364347
Lets see

Please be dubs... I want some necromancer unicorn to bring me back from the dead. Give me purpose master. My life is yours.

>>27364443
HAHAHAHAHAHAH FAGGOT

>>27364427
>luna
Yeah, she definitely could stop me.

>>27364443
Off by one

>>27364443
If I had quads I would have been the best damn nerconon ever...

>>27364347
rollin

>>27364443
Hell why not, rolling for this too.

This definitely sounds worthy of writefaggotry.

>>27364484
I could throw my hand at it, which one should I do?

>>27364490
First post

>>27364490
well this guy got a 4
>>27364484
so ponk?

>Implying I'd waste my time
Fuck this, buy a sword and go on adventure where magic shit is real.
Is suicide by adventure a thing?

>>27364502
>>27364501
ok which one is it

>>27364507
First post. No one finds you.

GG anon

>>27364514
I dont like that idea, too easy
>You died, dey sad de end
that sucks. Id rather write something emotional and not just depressing.

>>27364347
C'mon anybody but rainbow trash!

Wasn't there a green of this where apul stops anon from killing himself? And prevents him from trying it again just to make herself feel like she's a good pony for it even if his life Is hell?

>>27364519
Forget it, I got ponk first post so I'm doing ponk.
Also I've already got the outline written so im tired of waiting, give me a few, I'll try to keep it short-ish

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>>27364347
Maybe if I wish for 0 then I get to decide how I die.

>>27364506
This. If you want to end yourself you do it with honor and glory.

>>27364530
That sounds like a bad story. f1m

>>27364519
I don't know about you, but a green about how a health inspector goes through anons house after his rotten body had been removed has tons of potential.

>>27364347
roll

>>27364484
This is difficult but doable. the green needs to have two POVs, one from Anon, and one from the pony, you'll also need to have a series of events prior to Anon wanting to commit suicide,and to show why the pony in question never interacted with Anon in the firs place. Fucking hell I would have blast writing this, but I don't think I'm up to the task.

>>27364484
Definitely. It's basically where I started out. Written for this several times at least.

It's good exercise.

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>>27364535
Hang on...Where is that...

I know it was here somew-
A-HA! There it is.

>>27364539
then you write it, im doing something that fits my mood desu. i couldnt get into a story as well if that was the plot.

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>>27364347
Rollan.

>>27364347
None of these would ever apply, fuck off

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0 roll.

Let me end it, fucking ponies

>>27364347
Rollin (Air Raid Vehicle)

Rolling for death.

>>27364590
Wish granted

>>27364347
rolling

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>You’ve been in this world for a while now, a few years actually.
>Eventually the new wore off for you and your old life seem to haunt you more every day
>You pass by ponies in the park and imagine the days when you were a child and your parents would take you to the park
>You see couples moving along on their merry way and it just reminds you of how you’ll never be able to have a family of your own here, not really anyway
>Once you saw a group of ponies sitting at a table in your favorite bar, they sounded so much like you and your old pals that you had to get up and leave lest you start crying at the bar
>These encounters seemed to be growing more frequent and each time they tore at your heart a little more than the last
>With every day growing darker than the last you decide that maybe you just don’t want to live on this planet anymore
>Even after all your hopes and dreams of living with ponies were granted you were still unhappy, all of your old problems seemed to be replaced by all new ones
>Maybe people, or humans rather, were just more prone to these kind of feelings, maybe were just too complicated or maybe we are just incapable of true happiness
>It didn’t help that none of your friends seemed to be capable of fully understanding your situation, they tried their best but they would never really know what it was like to be plopped into an alien world all alone
>You hoped that they never had to find out.

Sorry if this turns out shite, my fish died today and I am sad :^(

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>>27364554
I'm no good at writefagging so here's a shitty doddle

>>27364347
Rolling for 0.

>>27364656
Well that would just be awkward and depressing.

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>>27364647
>You weren’t really sure how things got this way
>You thought things were great at first, but slowly the illusion faded away
>You realized pretty quickly that things were not as fun or interesting as in the show
>Humans were not magic, so in reality once the “woo” factor fell off for the bystanders and scientists you essentially just became an irrelevant background character
>There was nothing you could do that would set you apart in a world full of magical talking horses, you never thought you would have to admit something like that to yourself but it’s true nonetheless
>You weren’t as strong as earth ponies, you weren’t magical like unicorns and the only way you could fly like a Pegasus would be if you jumped off a building in Manehattan, and you could only do that trick once
>It was that realization that finally led you to your current activity which consisted of tying a noose around your neck that was attached to the ceiling fan
> You were tired of living in a world where you felt useless and unwanted but most of all you were just tired of being unhappy, you felt so distant from yourself and all of the things that you thought you knew
>Maybe now was as good a time as any to just end it all, maybe you would get the chance to try again in the next life
>Maybe there was another place like equestria, maybe you could find happiness there this time
>Or maybe you wouldn’t who knows, at least you’ll finally be able to find out
>You tighten the noose a little more and check the fan one more time
>The last thing you wanted was for it to break and the two of you fall onto the floor like some sort of shitty 80’s movie
>You were satisfied with the strength of the fixture so you stepped up on the stool and adjusted the rope length
>All set

If a picture is worth a thousand words this is worth a thousand and one

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>>27364666
>You stood there for a moment and took a breath
>Most likely it’d be the last one you’d ever have, might as well enjoy it
>you hesitated for a moment, not really for a second thought, but just long enough to think about all the ones you’d leave behind
>If only you could have told them you were sorry for this
>Even if you had though what would you even say? “Sorry I’m gonna go kill myself lol”
>Maybe it was for the best that you just go without saying anything, you were never good with words anyway
>You felt a pang of regret as you stepped off the stool and kicked it away with your legs as you fell
>You struggled for a few seconds, you thought your neck was supposed to break but it felt like you were just choking
>It felt terrible but you knew it would be over soon so you tried your best to endure it
>That was when you noticed your front door was slowly starting to open out of the corner of your eye
>A pink pony slowly stuck her head in the room; you mustn’t have heard her knocking while you were choking
>The last thing you remember seeing before your vision faded away was her running towards you with a terrified look on her face
>You never wanted your friends to find you, not like this
>You had hoped it would be some random mail pony or a guard pony or something; someone with more tolerance to seeing messed up shit
>Right before everything went dark you had at least one more thing you wished you could have apologized for

Rolling, I guess.

>>27364347
rooling for 7

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>>27364784
Well shit, Ponka just doesn't get a break in this thread, does she?

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>>27364787
HA fuck yeah.

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>>27364723
>As you woke you heard someone screaming your name
>What the hell is wrong with your alarm clock Jesus Christ
>Oh wait, holy shit you were trying to kill yourself and that is not your clock
>You slowly open your eyes and can only see red, well more like pink but it was pretty dark
>Were your eyes blood shot?
>The red moved and you realized it was actually attached to a pony you recognized, she had her head on your chest and was trying to listen for a heartbeat between her please for you to wake up
>It wasn’t until she started performing CPR on you that you realized that she must have resuscitated you
>You try your best to talk but your throat feels like it was hit by a nine iron
>”Pee-arg…….Pi….nkie?”
>Immediately she stops pushing on your chest and turns to you, you guess she didn’t notice your eyes were open, you could barely open them anyway
>There were tears in her eyes and she grabs your head by the temples with both of her hooves and says “Don’t move, I’m going to get help, just hold on please!”
>She bolted out the door and you just lay there on the floor not doing anything like the fucking dinosaur
>You noticed the rope was lying on the floor next to you with the stool
>It was cut, did pinkie do that?
>You didn’t want to think about it really, your head was hurting terribly and it was hard to breath, you just closed your eyes and slipped off into an unconscious fog as alarms blared in the distance

It's really hard to find pictures of sad pinkie. How am I doing? Is anyone lurking or should i just commit Sudoku?

>>27364798
lurking

>>27364347

>>27364347
rollin

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Roll.

>>27364798
I'm liking it so far.

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>>27364798
>When you wake up you’re in a hospital bed
>You can hear people talking out in the hallway and outside the building
>Then you hear snoring, you look to your left and regret it almost immediately, your neck hurts like a motherfucker
>But you manage to turn just far enough to see the pink pony sleeping in a chair next to your bed
>It warms your heart and you turn your head back towards the ceiling and close your eyes for a few minutes
>It isn’t long before you hear the hospital room door open and a nurse strolls in however
>You open your eyes and look at her as best you can; she notices the movement and rushes over to you
>”Try not to put too much strain on your head Mr. Anonymous; you don’t want to make any damage you sustained permanent!”
>”Sorry” You say, you’re not really sure why but whatever
>The commotion has awoken the sleeping pony next to your bed and she goes from sleepy to 100mph in about 2 seconds flat
>She’s on every side of the bed every other second trying to talk to you but the nurse calmly stops her and cuts her off
>”Please miss pinkie, take it easy on the patient, he has suffered quite an injury and the excitement will not do well for him”
>”Yes mam” pinkie says

I just took 2 Tylenol PM, lets see how far I can go before I pass out.

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>>27364904
>Pinkie Pie remains quiet for the exact amount of time it takes for the nurse to leave them room, then she turns to you with a happy expression on her face
>”ohymygoshanon thank gosh you are ok I was so worried, I mean when I saw you had gotten your head stuck in that rope I thought you might be a goner I mean I’ve never seen anyone change a lightbulb like that before but I don’t have hands so I had no idea what was going on and I thought that maybe you like to swing from ropes like monkeys and you had accidentally-“
>You decide to stop her before she gets too far off course
>”Pinkie please, calm down. It was….nothing like that”
>She looked at you confused for a second before speaking
>”What do you mean? What were you doing then, it’s not like you almost killed yourself on purpose”
>You just look at the floor with shame in your eyes; you didn’t really have a plan to tell her, this was probably as good as any
>She gently lifted your head up with one of her hooves
>”Anon…you wouldn’t ever do anything like that right?”
>You start to tear up a little, It’s going to be so hard to tell her this, you’d probably rather pull your own teeth
>”Yes Pinkie, I…..I was……I did it to myself. I was…I was trying to….”
>You try to avoid the word, you felt like it might upset her too much to just say it
>Instead you just look at her and say what you wish you’d have said days ago to someone, anyone
>”Pinkie, I’m just….I’m just tired of feeling so homesick and useless all the time. I don’t know what else to do with myself… I feel so alone and I don’t know what to do anymore”
>You can’t bear to look her in the eyes, but after a few seconds you feel her wrap her hooves around your arms and she lays her head on your shoulder
>”I’m so sorry anon”
>You tear up even more and wrap your arms around her
>”I’m sorry too Pinkie, I’m so sorry.”

>>27364831
Why is NMM such a QT?

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>>27364347

>>27364347
roll for sadness

>>27364968
Celestia stops me because since I live in Equestria but not a pony, I'm not a citizen, only Equestrian property. So I'm destroying her property. Which is illegal.

>>27364347
rollin rollin rollin

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>>27364919
Keep going you magnificent bastard!!

>>27364919
>You were able to go home later that afternoon
>Pinkie pie followed you and insisted that you come with her to Twilight’s house first
>You agreed, you really didn’t know what your house was like but you didn’t want to be there
>You could imagine the stool and rope still being there, you weren’t sure how you would handle that yet
>the two of you made your way towards the crystal castle on the other side of town
>Neither of you really said anything, neither of you knew what to say you guessed
>Pinkie pie hadn’t been as bubbly since this morning
>Probably because she was up all night with you in the hospital, but still you were worried about her
>When the two of you finally make it to twilights castle pinkie pie turns to you with a worried look on her face
>”I’m going to get twilight, why don’t you go rest in the library for a minute, Maybe spike is in there.”
>You could probably just yell for twilight, but maybe pinkie had other reasons so you went along with it
>”Yea, Sure”
>The two of you walk on in and you head for the library, you pass starlight along the way and she gives you a friendly hello as you pass her
>You liked starlight but you weren’t really in the mood for conversation
>You finally reached the library
>You pushed the door open to see literally all of the main 6 plus spike and starlight standing on the other side of the room
>”Wha-…”
>You look back into the hallway
>Didn’t you just pass starlight?
>Twilight is the first to speak up
>”Anon please come in, we really need to talk to you”
>She motions towards a chair in the middle of all of them
>You move into the room and close the door
>At least the chair looks comfy

>>27364996
IM TRYING, ITS 5 AM AND I'VE LOST CONTROL OF MY LIFE!

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>>27365001
Oh boohoo, you woke up early. It's MORNING, sleep is for losers anyway.

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>>27365001
>You move closer to them and make for the chair, more of a couch chair thing really, it’s probably Rarity’s
>You sit down and pinkie pie moves in next to you
>”Anon, I told twilight what happened and she teleported all of us here, don’t worry though she said were going to try our best to help you”
>she wraps her fore hoof around your bicep and sits next to you
>Applejack is the first to ask the question everyone is obviously thinking
>”Why the hay was I just teleported into a library? I was pulling apples to town, who knows what is eating those things now.”
>Twilight, in her usual demeanor addresses everyone as a group
>”I’ve brought you all here because we have a serious problem on our hoofs”
>She looked at you with a worried expression then turns back to the rest of the group
>”Anon is in trouble and needs our help, something terrible happened to him last night”
>Rainbow Dash was quick to jump at that
>”Did someone do something to anon? What’s going on egghead, get to the point!”
>Purple horse then turns to you, this time she was whispering
>”Anon, do you want to tell them?”
>You sit up in your chair and look at pinkie who is still holding your arm, she nods at you
>”Please anon, they’re your friends too, you can talk to us.”
>You gulp hard and then steel yourself, for once in your life you’re going to take a chance


>>27365025
>you woke up early
Hahaha guess again

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>>27365030
So what? I don't care where you are or what timezone you're in, if you don't continue I'm gonna come over there and whip you until you mak MOAR!!

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>>27365030
>You, as gently as possible, explain to the girls + tip…err spike that you tried to off yourself last night
>Needless to say the reactions were mixed
>Applejack didn’t say much at first but after a few minutes she seemed to start asking all kinds of questions starting with the word “why”
>Rainbow dash immediately got angry at you and threatened to kill you if you tried something that stupid again
>Starlight looked distant; she was probably having mixed emotions about this and didn’t know how to handle herself so you didn’t hold it against her
>Rarity was currently In the process of being dramatic while at the same time trying her best to empathize with you; it didn’t do much to make you feel better
>Fluttershy was currently in tears and was trying to make you promise you’d never do something like that again
>Pinkie was still just sitting there, holding your arms and not saying anything
>Twilight was currently standing to the side, probably waiting on the girls to finish their emotional response
>And last and least spike was standing next to twilight; the poor guy didn’t know what to do with himself
>You almost laughed about it; luckily your retard filter caught it and stopped you
>Finally twilight spoke up to break up the shitstorm of emotions and turmoil that was currently engulfing the room
>You took a deep breath and thanked sweet Jesus

>>27365051
I'm going as fast as I can. Popped a molly and I'm sleepy nigga

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>>27365074
Well alright.

>>27364347
rollin

>>27364347
Come on no one

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>>27365074
>”Girls, the reason I’ve brought you here is that we are going to help Anonymous, He is clearly going through an extremely rough time right now and he needs our support”
>You hated to sound like a charity case but maybe she was right
>”Pinkie Pie has already volunteered to stay with anon at his house for a while to make sure that he doesn’t have some sort of relapse but the rest of us need to help him as well, after all he would do it for us”
>That’s true, you’d do anything for them bu-WAIT A MINUTE
>”Did you say that pinkie is going to be staying with me?”
>You look over at pinkie who is smiling at you nervously
>”It’s just until you get better anon; I don’t want you to ever go through something like that again. As soon as your better I’ll leave if you want me to”
>You were shocked for a moment; you just kind of sat there like a retarded gorilla before finally answering her in a panic
>”No! I mean you can stay as long as you like, I don’t mind. I just don’t want you to have to go out of your way or anything…”
>She laughed and hugged you
>”You silly, that’s what friends are for!”
>you smiled and silently thanked Diabetic Jesus for Pinkie Pies

>>27364347
>implying i would try to kill myself
>get thread
>>>/b/

>>27365123
>>as soon as your better
*You're

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OP still makes Equestria sound like an improvement to me.

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>>27365140
yeah, okay, what the fuck ever

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>>27364347
I just want to die.

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>>27365137
>By the time the meeting of the minds or whatever was finished twilight and her friends had basically rebuilt your entire life for you
>It was sort of impressive but if you had done it you would have been called autistic
>Basically they had rescheduled and restructured your daily activities so that they could all be a part of them
>that and they eliminated everything they considered negative
>You didn’t really care anymore, in your mind the alternative was suicide so what the hell
>You might not have time to fap anymore but you do have an adorable pink pony living with you now so that’s gonna be cool
>You and Pinkie Pie leave twilight’s castle and start to head back toward your place
>”Hey anon, wanna get something to eat on the way back?”
>You have now realized that you haven’t eaten in like 50 hours or something and your starving
>Pinkie suddenly freaks and yells at you
>”ANON WHAT IN THE HAY IS THAT!?”
>While your not looking she tosses a letter into twilight's castle which bops the book horse on the head
>Twilight opens the note
>”DEAR TWILIGHT, CAN YOU PLEASE GET THE STOOL AND ROPE OUT OF ANON’S HOUSE? I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THAT, K THANKS!”
>The purple mare sighs and revs up the teleportation spell

>>27365137
Comon man...

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>>27365172

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>>27365172
>”I don’t see anything pinkie?”
>She looks at you with a shit eating grin if you’ve ever seen one
>”Oh, you just missed it haha! Let’s go!”
>You just brush it off; you’re too hungry to care anyway
>The two of you get dinner and then head back to your place
>to your surprise the stool and rope are gone…and so are all of your books
>All that’s left is a note that says, “IOU Sum Books”
>Whatever, you never read anymore anyway
>“So anon, should we hit the hay or…”
>You yawn, you were pretty tired, maybe some sleep is what you needed
>You took some pain killers for your neck and then asked pinkie where she wanted to sleep
>I’m sleeping with you silly!”
>wut.jpg
>”Bu…..why?”
>Your brain immediately berates the shit out of you for asking that question
>You’ll be imagining grandma during fap time for the rest of your life after that one
>”Because, I’m not leaving you alone for a second! Not until I’m sure you’re ok.”
>She looked happy, but signs of worry were seeping through
>”Ok Pinkie, how about you sleep on the bed and I’ll take the floor, we’ll be two feet away from each other”
>She looked a little nervous and then asked what was probably the best question you’d ever heard
>”That wouldn’t be good for your neck anon, why don’t we just both sleep in the bed together?”
>Your mind was telling you yes, but your body…your body was also telling you yes
>”So…..you want the big pillow or….”
>She laughed as she trotted into the bedroom
>”Real Funny anon, of course I’m getting the big pillow”

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The whole of equestria will bear witness to my genocide crusade.
Fuck every last one of you cock sucking cockroaches

hasnt this been done before

im like 120% sure it has

>>27365275
It has, several times

roll...

>>27364972
and what is she going to do to you?
kill you?

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>>27365247
>Luckily you had a king size bed so there was more than enough room for the two of you
>You decided to jump in the shower before bed, by the time you got out you found a certain pink pony was already snoring peacefully on her side of the bed
>”God she’s cute”, you think to yourself as you lay in the bed opposite to her
>You were lying next to pinkie pie, barely containing your need for snuggles
>By some miracles you manage to get to sleep, only for the night to pass in the blink of an eye
>Before long you were hearing a rooster crowing in the distance
>”bleh…gonna kill that stupid bird”
>You groan as you open your eyes
>Pink fuzz
>Pink fuzz everywhere
>You awoke to a pinkie pie that has turned the tables!
>she is snuggling you! Dastardly fiend!
>she had her arms wrapped around your neck and her legs wrapped around your waist
>she was laying her head on top of yours and you currently had no idea what to do as your sperg mode had kicked into overdrive
>You barely managed to keep your spaghetti from destroying your sheets and when you grew more composed you started to devise a way to wake pinkie in a way that wouldn’t be awkward
>But……there’s no rush right? Fuck it.
>You decided to just close your eyes and pretend to be asleep for a few more minutes

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>>27365332
Ok I'm going to bed, I'll finish this tonight if the thread is still alive.

If its dead then just know that pinkie a cute.

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>>27365332
>>arms
>>legs
Why is she human all of a sudden?

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>>27365258
Oh shit. You're up against Celestia.

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>>27365397
You know what he means faggot

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>>27365411
Don't know if I do actually. Pones don't have arms. I'm confused.

>>27364347
>Get trips
>About to hang yourself, when suddenly-
>"HEY ANON! IT'S US! EVERYONE FROM TOWN!"
>You look up in disbelief as your little shitty shack is filled to the brim with ponies.
>Their smiles shortly change after gazing upon your poor, battered body.
"Uh, I can explai-"
>Your pleas go unheard, as all the town's ponies tackle and headbutt you off of your chair, and out of your noose.
>A couple of the fillies even do little karate kicks and such.
>After the smoke clears, Applejack pops up from the pony-pile.
>"Woo-wee! Jus' another job well done, right ponies?"
>A roaring cheer erupts from the ponies.
>"How 'bout you, Anon? How're ya feelin'? Don't wanna kill yourself now Ah bet? Anon?"
>You couldn't respond, because your body was crushed under the weight of 74 ponies.
>You died of suffocation a couple seconds later.
rip

Kill me bruh

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Rolling for 0

>>27364347
Rolling for Luna

>>27365628
>off by one

JUST

>>27364666
Satan town

>>27364347
Roll

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Have a screencap I made a while ago. Suicide-themed, featuring best pony, happy ending.

>>27364347
Roll for rarity

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save me celestia

>>27364347
roll

>>27365888
Witnessed

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>>27364347
I would never commit seppuku on such circumstances. Not by my own hand, at least.
I'd become murderhobo/adventurer/highwayman/you name it and either die a glorious death or go on killing spree, acquire valuable stuff and maybe that would make life more enjoyable.
Doing that is easier than actual suicide, by the way.

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>>27365882

>>27365941
So did the rest of the town.

>>27364347
The spa doesn't use magic. If anything, you could act as one of their specials. You'd never be useless as long as you have your limbs and energy left in your body.

>>27364347
I'm glad these threads aren't extinct.

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>>27364347
What the fuck, this is basically how most of us live irl.
I don't need this feel in magic horseland.

>>27364347
>an hero roll

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How about good ol' Celly?

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>>27366614
Fuck... well brb, getting some aconite.

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>>27366533
The dubs gods have spoken, I choose Shining Armor

>be anon
>life in house horse world sucks
>your waifu hates you, you're poor as fuck, and there's no intranets to distract you from your crippling depression
>so here you are, on one of Canterlot's walls, ready to take the plunge into eternal darkness
>you've been preparing for this day, even managed to get save up enough for a suit
>going out in style.jpeg
>right as you're about to step off the edge, you hear someone(somepony, there's no humans here besides yourself...)
>"STOP!"
>huh
>you turn around to find a white and blue unicorn glad in guardsman armor running towards you
>"bro, I know what you're thinking. Don't do it!"
>u-uh, wtf does this faggot want?
>"just please step down from there"
>annoyed, you step down from your death perch
>guess I'll have to find another spot, pones must not like blood on their capital's walls

Fuggin writefaging on a shit iPhone is aids

>>27364347
roll

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>>27364347
Come on 0

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>>27366815
>My waifu instead stops me
Wow, that thought hurt more than I expected.

>>27364553
I can't believe people like poster in your pic are that stupid. This has to be a bait or something.

>>27364347
Rolling for 0 or dubs, so I could choose "nobody".

>>27364347
end me

>>27366896
the poster is right you dumbass

Rollin' for dubs

>>27366939
He wasn't suicidal.

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>>27366756
>the white unicorn finally manages to get to your location
>Canterlot's defense walls are long and tall as fuck, must be trying to keep out the pone equivalent of Mongolians
>"hey man, I'm glad I stopped you." Life is worth living bro, suicide is never the answer"
"u-uh, who are you?"
>"I'm Shining Armor, captain of the royal guard"
>"you're the creature that showed up here a few years ago right?"
"yup...that's me alright"
>"awesome, my sister Twilight Sparkle, has told me a lot about you"
"oh, yeah, y-your sister T-twilight, I know her"( she was one of the first pone to shoot you down as dating material...)
>"she says your kind is not from this World, that you are impervious to our magic"
>not sure where this faggot horse is headed with his questioning but you play along, the sooner you get back to your mission the better
"yeah, its true, your horse magic has no effect on me"
>"that's awesome! You should join the guard, we really could use your unique talent out there on the battlefield"
>"Come on man, do you really want to go out like this, a pathetic honor-less death, or would rather die in glory on the battle field?"
>you stop to think for a second
"I don't think you understand, I'm all alone in this World. No one(no pony I mean) even cares if I'm alive or not"
>"bro, I understand what you're going through, there is no worse feel than not having a marefriend"
>"about 10 years ago, I was in similar situation, a marefriendless loser who had no reason to live"
>your facial expression turns to one of confusion, you didn't know pones(in a World who's moto is friendship and shit) could experience 'tfw no gf'
>"I came close to jumping off this wall myself until a patrolling guardspony stopped me"
>"long story short, he convinced me to back away from the ledge and join the guard"
>confusion turns to shock upon hearing the story
>"the guard has changed my life bro; since joining, things have improved drastically and I have never looked back"

if 5 i'll write some greentext
rolling

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>>27367164
let's try that one last time

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>>27367148
>die in glory on the battlefield
We both know that's a lie.

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>>27367211
rara green when?

>>27364347
WAKE ME UP roll

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>>27367235
on its way

>>27367266
>Your choice
Does that include OCs or villains?

>>27367148
>>27367228
Thats the irony, returning soldiers have a outstanding high suicide rate

Rollan

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>>27367148
>tfw I don't have time to writefag this further for now because of job interview shit
maybe I'll go back to it later today if the thread is still up. I know I'm shit at writing, but I'm pretty satisfied with the foundation that's been put in place

>>27364404
That clown is funny.

>>27364530
Pastebin?

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>>27367451
>tfw recently unNEET
>not broke anymore, but have to miss a lot of /mlp/ shit

>>27364347
>Implying I have friends or a girlfriend before.
Ah whatever, rolling for dubs.

>>27364347
Roll

>>27367660
RIP

Rolling for 0

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>>27364347
>your last lover
Whatever, rolling.

>>27367148
MOAR!!

>>27364347
Baguet

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>>27364347
lets roll to see which pony I take advantage of by taming and riding and therefore condemning myself to a life of villainry, short or long.

>>27368158
looks like I rolled cellery stick, I am probably not long for this world, but It'd be fun. like I was out on a pasture.

>>27367148
>be anon
>your waifu's militaryfag brother has recently convinced you to join the pone equivalent of the army insteaded of an-heroing
>as you prepare your things for boot camp, you can't help but reflect on your life before horseland
>you were a 20 some y/o NEET still living the dream at mummy's house
>your days were spent playing vidya, trying to get /fit/, and browsing your favorite Chinese cartoon image board
>God, things were so simple and comfy back you think to yourself
>sure there was always the occasional 'tfw no gf' but thanks to the shitposting and lifting, it was easy to subside those feels
>you begin to remember your friends(intranet friends, kek not that IRL normie shit)
>the all night skype calls filled with dank memes and vidya adventures that were had
>man, your those faggots probably stole your epic WoW character names by now. Dammit, they were so OG too!
>you also can't help but feel for your poor mother as well
>she must be so lonely without me
>just her and the latest version of Tyrone in that big empty house
>no good boy to clean up after and cook tendies for
>you'd give anything to go back to that comfy degenerate lifestyle you once had
"BEEP!" BEEP! BEEP!!"
>an alarm going off brings you out of your reflective daze
>welp, time to get going...

Going to be 0.
Don't even care.

Rolling now, will write something after work.

ROLLLANNNN for my waifu to help me

>>27364347
It's not RGRE enough

>>27364347
Rooooll

>>27367148
Soldier boy huh? There's worse ways to die, maybe a cuddle slave to Chrisaylis.

>>27364347
Rollin'

witness me

>>27364347
roll

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>>27364347
Aww no Sunny?

>>27364347
Roll

>>27364347
rollan

>>27364347
rolly polly

>You can't help DASH past everypony you see, your cyan wings flapping rapidly
>You're going as fast as Spitfire on a good day!
>Or maybe you're going as fast as yourself on a bad day
>Heh, who can tell?
>But today definitely doesn’t feel like a bad day, that's for sure!
>Although, one might ask, "why are you going this fast?"
>Besides the fact that you're Rainbow Dash and you can?
>Well, today you've got somethin' awesome planned
>Although that's pretty much everyday
>But today's gonna be even AWESOMER!
>You've been thinking about this day for weeks!
>Months, even!
>Years?
>Nah
>It hasn't been THAT long since you've met him
>Anonymous, that is
>You've known Anon for a couple months now
>It's been like, five, maybe?
>You don't really keep track of that boring stuff all that much
>All you know is that you've known him for awhile now
>And you--and your friends--were gonna celebrate it!
>And celebrate it BIG
>You're talkin' 'bout gifts, drinks, balloons, streamers!
>Shit, you'd get the whole TOWN involved if you could
>But, a nice party with just the nine of you would be good, right?
>One wouldn't need many more ponies than that to celebrate it, anyway
>Plus, Twilight advised against bringing the entire town to the party
>You listened--reluctantly
>But you listened none-the-less
>It's Twilight, afterall
>She's the egghead, the smart one
>She knows best
>But anyway, today, you're celebrating the first day you've met the guy!
>It wasn't on today exactly--again, you don't really care for dates--but that doesn't really matter
>It's not the date, but the memory
>And the memory of meeting him for the first time is probably one of the best memories you have with him
>Gosh, you remember it like it was yesterday!

>"Girls, I'd like for you to meet someone--"
"Twilight, please. I'm not interested in meeting another one of your prissy friends from Canterlot--"
>Rarity coughs
"N-Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course! I'm just sayin', I know enough of 'em as it is."

>>27369612
>Another, dryer cough from Rarity
"And they're not bad ponies! Not at al--"
>"Rainbow, please, just stop while you're ahead," Rarity sighs
>Yeah, good point there
>"They're not from Canterlot, anyway, so you don't have to worry about that," Twilight points out
>Which makes you take a quick sigh of relief, muttering under your breath
"Oh thank Celestia."
>You can't help but feel like Rarity heard that, though
>"Actually, they're not even from Equestria, as far as I know."
>You roll your eyes
"So, what? You meet a new Griffon friend or somethin'?"
>"No."
"Crystal Pony?
>"Nooo."
>You gasp
"A changeling?!"
>"Dash, no. Please, if you would let me expla--"
"Then what did you meet, exactly?"
>Twilight coughs, going into the back room to fetch whatever this is
>And back out a moment later, she has with her a… gorilla-lookin' guy
>He looks really, really weird
>A monkey without any fur
>While everybody was either confused, shocked, or excited, you…
>You honestly didn't have an opinion
>You were null about the whole thing
>"Say hi, Anonymous!"
>All he did was wave with what looked like a claw
>Like what Spike has
>But they weren't sharply tipped at all
>Since everybody else was either stuck in shock or confusion, you had to be the first one to speak up
"Yo."
>You fluttered a bit off the ground, so you could get eye level with him
>Honestly, the guy was really tall
>Almost as tall as Celestia, even
"I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in all of Equestria!"
>You lent out a hoof to him
>And he, of course, shook it with his claw-thing
>Guy had a nice shake, you've gotta admit

>The rest of what happened isn't really important
>You introduced everybody to him, in the awesomest way you could
>And really, from that point on, you two were the best of friends!
>It's like he was your long lost brother or somethin'
>Such a shame he only showed up now, instead of later
>Making an abrupt stop, you stopped in front of his house, a large smile growing on your face

>>27369469
I'm going to work, but expect green tonight. I have half of it finished.

>>27369673
>You dropped on your hooves, your wings folding up
>Time for this awesome day to really begin!
>You knocked on the door a couple times with a forehoof
>No answer
>Weird
>He usually always answers the door
>No matter
>The door's unlocked, anyway
>So, you push open the door, yelling out his name
"Anonymous! Anonymous!"
>Again, no answer
>That's really weird
>It's still morning, so he couldn't have gone anywhere
>Unless you flew right past him on your way here
>…
>Nah
>That couldn't be the case
>He's too obvious to pick out!
>He must be sleepin' in his room
>Heh, he's as lazy as you are!
>So, you speed upstairs, stopping in front of the open door
>Hah! There he is!
>Hangin' from the ceiling
>Strugglin' and rocking back and forth
>With rope around his neck
>Good ol' Anonymous!
>Hahaha
>Haha…
>…
>You scream

"WAKE UP! WAKE UP! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S CELESTIA PLEASE WAKE UP!"
>Tears are flowing down your eyes as you're viciously pounding on his unconscious body
>You managed to bite the rope in two earlier, removing it almost immediately
>His room's a mess now
>You tried to find something--fucking ANYTHING to revive him with
>But nothing was found
>So, you did what most ponies would do in case one of their friends tried to… do THIS
>Pound their stomach until they start to breath again
>You honestly have no idea what the hell else to do
>You're desperate
>You're crying
>You want your friend back
>That's all you really want right now
>You want this to be just some silly dream
>In a second you'll wake up, panting
>Because you usually do that after a nightmare
>You'll hug tank and cuddle with him back to sleep
>Not before silently crying for a bit, though
>You've had nightmares like this for awhile, actually
>Sometimes they're of Fluttershy
>Other times they're of Pinkie
>The one that pops up the most is Anonymous, though
>You don't know why but
>You're just so afraid of him doing this
>You feel like he'd be the type
>Even though he looks so happy

>>27369720
>You'll wake up soon
>This'll all be over
>You know Anon's happy
>You know this is just a nightmare
>But
>You don't wake up
>You keep crying, you keep pounding on his chest
>On his stomach
>Anywhere
>You don’t give two muleshits about where you pound
>As long as something happens
>As long as he wakes up
>As long as you get to hear his voice again
>So you can stop crying
>So you can punch him for being such a fucking retard
>But it doesn't happen
>Why isn't it happening?!
>Why isn't he waking up?
>What are you doing wrong?
>You keep crying
>Tears fall on his shirt
>You stop trying
>There's no point anymore
>If he hasn't woken up by now…
>Then
>Then…
>No
>No no no no no
>Please for the love of all that's good in Equestria
>There has to be something else
>You have to try something else!
>He can't be gone
>He can't be
>There's no fucking way
>You break open his window and scream
"PLEASE, ANYPONY, PLEASE HELP!"
>You go to him once more
>You hold him once more
>You cry
>You've always been crying
>You're worst fear come to life
>You do mouth to mouth
>You hit his chest
>You cry
>You hope to Celestia that something happens to make him wake up
>Wake the fuck up
>Please wake up
>All you can do is lie your head on his chest
>Hoping to hear something
>ANYTHING
>A small heartbeat
>Something
>Just so you can stop fucking crying
>Eventually, you shut your eyes
>And hope that when you wake up
>You'll be with him again
>Please

"Seriously, you've never flown before?"
>He nods
"Pfft. I thought Twilight said you guys had things that could fly you anywhere!"
>"Well, when you've gotta pay a thousand bucks to even get ON a plane, it's gonna take you awhile to get anywhere."
>You chuckle
>...
>Then you raise a brow
"A buck's a bit, right?"
>He chuckles, too
>"Yeah, sure, let's go with that."
>The two of you were sitting atop of a cliff, the both of you looking down at Ponyville

>>27369612
>>27369673
>>27369720
>>27369809

What the fuck just happened here, was anons death a dream or not?

>>27369809
>Luna's moon was as big and as bright as ever
>The town wasn't any different, either
>While only candle lights illuminated it, it still looked as pretty as ever
>It was always an impressive site to see
>Ponyville like this was pretty much the best way to see it
>You looked towards your friend
>He was only looking at the ground
>The drop from here could kill anypony not careful eough
"Hm..."
>Poor guy must wanna fly
>Never got a chance to back where he lived
>Suddenly, a huge smirk comes across your face
>What if you give him that flight he never had?
>Haha!
>Fuck yeah!
>He'll love it, for sure!
>Standing on all hooves, you begin to stretch out your wings
>He looks at you as if you were crazy
>Then your hind legs
>"What the fuck are you doing?"
>Then your fore legs
>He already knows
>Well, better not keep it a secret any longer
"Well, since you've said you've never flown before--"
>"No."
"Heh, I'll make your wish come true, and fly ya. For free."
>"Fuck no."
>Suddenly, he gets up, walking in the opposite direction
"Oh c'mon! Where are you going?"
>"Home, where I can't fucking die."
"Yeah, right. Best flier in Equestria, and you're gonna die, thanks to me. That'll be a story for the papers."
>He turns around, a hand on his hip
>"Have you ever had somebody ride on your fucking back before?"
"Yeah! Plenty of tim--"
>"While AIRBORN?"
>Ehhhhh...
>You cough
>"That's what I thought."
"You'll be fine! I promise!"
>"What if I fall off?"
"Pfft. Would I ever let something like that happen to you?"
>Now it's his turn to cough
>You smirk
>"Fine. But only for a second."
"Sure, sure."
>Yeah, right
>Like you'd fly him around for a second and be done with it
>He walks over to you and hops on your back, as you get ready to fly off
"Ready, dude?"
>"You know I'm not."
"Ya better get ready, I'm takin' off in ten."
>He rolls his eyes
>Not that you could see that
>You just feel like he rolled his eyes
>You're too busy looking at the night sky

>>27369901
Reality
Flashback
Reality
Reality
Flashback
Probably shouldn't have made the jumpcut between the two realities. Sorry about that.

Rollan

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>>27364347

>>27364347
blep

>>27369993

I can deal with this, although...

>How to explain to hardest working pony that you just couldn't buck up and deal with it.

>>27369959
"Ready now?"
>"No, but lets just get this over with."
>Heh
"Lift off in three,"
"Two,"
>Fuck it
>Without even counting to one, you blast into the night sky as fast as you can
>And on your back is a screaming monkey, holding on to dear life
>Ha!
>Pansy
"Stop bein' a baby, Anon. We're not even going that fast!"
>"YES WE ARE, SLOW DOWN, PLEASE!"
>Oh Celestia he's yelling in your ears
>Abruptly, you stop
>Which almost sends him flying off your back
>Almost
>You wouldn't let that happen in a million years
>"Fuck, I think I'm gonna be sick..."
>Again, you chuckle
>"You know, by slow down, I didn't mean STOPPING COMPLETELY!"
"You're such a baby, dude."
>He growls
>"You're fuckin' crazy."
"Hey, you're still alive, ain't ya?"
>He looks around for a bit
>Then he sighs
>"You've got a point there."
"Yeah, I know."
>And your wings start to flutter rapidly once mo--
>"HEY!"
>Really?
"What?"
>"Can't we go a little slower, this time? I'd rather not feel like I'm on the Rainbow Dash Rollercoaster."
>"Pfft, fine."
>You glide along the skies at an easy pace, one that won't have Anon screaming for his life
>Just so you can please your friend
>Heh, fuckin' pansy


>"Wake up…"
>"Wake up…"
>"Please, wake up, Anon…"
>What?
>The hell is she talking about?
>Her boyish voice actually serves to wake you up
>As if it were your alarm clock
>You open your eyes--OW
>You wince in pain, first of all
>God, your neck is killing you
>A hand goes to your neck, but it's stopped
>A pair of hooves get to it first
>And this actually hurts MORE
"Ow! Ow! Fuck, stop!"
>The pain causes you to open your eyes wide, seeing everything around you
>First thing you notice?
>Rainbow Dash, holding you and crying
>Wait
>Rainbow?
>Crying?
>Jesus Christ, who fucking died?
>Your eyes wander around, surveying the room
>It's a hospital room
>There's a balloon by your--assumedly--hospital bed, too
>It says, "Get well soon!"
>Wait
>Did you…?
>Oh
>OH
>Yeah
>You did
>Wait, if you did

>>27370158
>Then how are you still alive?
>Wait
>One of the last things you remember seeing before you knocked out WAS something blue
>Was that?
>…
>Huh
>So you DO have friends, afterall
>And here you thought nobody gave two horseshits about you
>Soon, the cyan mare lets go of you, the biggest smile you ever seen on her face
>Then, it's immediately replaced by anger
>Oh god no
"FUCK!"
>She punches you so hard that you swear you could've died again
>"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING YOU RETARD?! WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING THROUGH YOUR STUPID FUCKING MIND!?"
>You were going to retort, but she wouldn't let you
>"I MEAN, REALLY?! YOU DECIDE TO… TO DO THAT!? WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS, HUH?! WHAT WOULD THEY HAVE THOUGHT?! WHAT ABOUT SPIKE?! PINKIE PIE?! WHAT ABOUT…"
>She stops, a nurse coming in to the rescue
>She gets Rainbow away from you temporarily, the mare now crying once more when she looks at you again
>"What about ME, damn it?! Did you even bother to think about your best fucking friend?!"
>Honestly?
"No."
>And there's another punch
>You're surprised you're not dead by now
>"WHY?!"
>Ahem
"I didn't even know that I HAD friends, if I'm gonna be honest with you."
>She stops
>Her anger dissipates for a look of sympathy
>She doesn't even look at you
>"Why?"
"Why?"

>You're Anonymous
>You're in Equestria
>And…
>You fucking hate it here
>Everyday, ever since you met those stupid fucking horses
>You've missed everything you once had
>And you're worse off here than you were at home
>Lets look at one example, first
>Your job
>Or, rather, lack thereof
>You're a stupid fucking human
>Not a magical unicorn
>An awesome pegasus
>Or even a strong earth pony
>You're just human
>The only thing special about you is your hands
>And even then, they're nothing
>Ponies have magic
>Ponies have wings
>Ponies have fucking HOOVES
>They can use their damned hooves better than you can use your fucking hands
>You wish this wasn't the case, but it's true
>It's stupidly true

>>27364347
Rolling...

>>27364347
That's a lovely picture.

>>27370232
>Next, your friends
>Or lack thereof
>Honestly, you've only connected with a couple ponies since you got here
>Rainbow, Pinkie, and Spike
>And Spike isn't a pony
>Everybody else is either insufferable
>Or flat out hates you
>Rarity, Starlight, and Applejack all fucking hate your guts for some reason or another
>And you can't even call the others who like you as "friends"
>They're barely even acquaintances
>Sure, you've done some stuff together
>But honestly, you're sure they're not too fond of you either
>Just like on earth, everybody hates you
>But unlike Equestria, on earth you had two good friends
>They were always there for you
>They always listened
>Sure, they started dating after awhile
>But they were still your friends
>You think
>And lastly
>Your family
>You miss your brother, your sister, your mother, your father
>They were there for you, too
>But now
>You'll never see them again
>They're fucking gone
>Forever
>You don't even have a FAMILY anymore
>Nobody who loves you unconditionally
>You have nothing to live for
>Everything you once had and loved is fucking gone now
>And everybody wants you out
>So
>You might as well just end it
>It's easier that way
>In fact
>You'll do it today
>Fuck everything
>Maybe you'll wake up in your bed after your done
>Maybe you'll be able to finally talk to your friends again
>Maybe

"That's why."
>You sniffle a little
>She sniffles, too
>And punches you
>Again
>"Please stop hurting the patient, ma'am."
>Rainbow ignores her
>"You're… You're really stupid, Anon."
>You raise a brow
>She takes you out your hospital bed, carrying you on her back
>Of course, the nurse tries to stop her, but she's simply too fast for her
>Yeah, she's flying
>And you're holding on for dear life
>Soon, she manages to reach… Twilight's castle?
>What?
>Wiping another tear, she pushes you off her back
>"Go inside."
>…?
>You follow the command, timidly
>You're really confused
>Opening the giant door, you see--

Let's get to rollin'.
>>27364347

>>27364347
Rolling

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Rolling

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>>27364347

>>27370460
>"SURPRISE! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, ANONYMOUS!"
>…What?
>Yeah, and accompanying that
>Ponies
>The mane six, actually
>Minus Rainbow and plus Spike and Starlight
>Not only that
>There's... decorations
>Streamers
>Cupcakes
>Drinks
>And a huge fucking banner with the words "We love you, Anonymous" written on it
>...
>What?
>Tears start to form in your eyes, as the rainbow maned pony floats to the group
>She goes to Twilight, specificially
>Twilight, of course, takes notice, smiling at her
>Then... she looks concerned
>"Dash? What happened?"
>Pinkie speaks up next
>"Yeah, Dashie, it looks like you've been crying…"
>Followed by Applejack
>"Y'all okay, Rainbow? Ya don't look too hot."
>With another sniffle, she just points at you
>"Ask HIM that."
>All eyes go to you
>And you're frozen
>You don't know what to say
>You only look around again
>And
>…
>You start to bawl
>Fuck
>Why'd it have to be now?
>"Well?"
"I'm sorry."
>You fall to your knees, looking away from them all
"I'm so sorry."
>You don't even have the strength to tell them that you just tried to fucking kill yourself
>And that you're glad that Rainbow caught you in time
>You can barely speak now
>You feel so fucking bad
>It's like a never ending pain in your stomach
>The ponies all surround you--except for Rainbow
>They ask you all sorts of questions
>What happened?
>Are you okay?
>Do you need anything?
>This all just serves to make you cry even harder
>Finally, a sweet, innocent and young voice asks you a question
>"What happened, Anon?"
>This was Spike
>And for the love of God you don't know why but you broke after this
"I tried to kill myself," you whispered
>The room fell silent after that
>The ongoing questions stopped, as if they were a broken conveyor belt
>It was so abrupt
>And it didn't take long before someone opened their lips again
>And it was Spike, yet again
>"Y-You're kidding... Right? You didn't actually...?"
>You don't answer

>>27370636
>In fact, Rainbow answers this question for you
>"He did. I saw him do it."
>Everybody gasped
>And then
>The tears started to roll in
>However
>They were all silent cries
>Nobody really bawled, like you expected
>Not even Pinkie Pie
>You thought she would burst out crying
>But she just stands there, tears just falling out of her eyes
>Twilight's the first to speak up
>"Anonymous... Would you mind following me?"
>You don't answer
>She just walks away
>While you follow
>Everybody else follows too, including Rainbow Dash
>You wipe your tears away, as you wonder where she could be taking everyone
>Soon, the lot of you end up in the throne room
>Where everybody takes their respective seats
>Except for Rainbow and Spike
>...And Glimmer, but she doesn't exactly have a seat
>So, she just silently moves Spike's chair so she can sit on the floor next to Twilight
>Spike just holds onto your hand while sobbing
>While Rainbow motions you to her seat
>You sit
>Spike and Rainbow both hug you, as you sit
>And Twilight sighs
>"Why?"
>Why?
>You sigh
>And, you go on to explain what you did with Dash earlier
>Except, abridged
>Twilight winces at the word "hate"
>And, once you finish, she starts to speak
>"I… I know it's hard to believe, Anon, but… We DO love you, we care for you, and we don't want you to die. Even the ones who're a bit more distant than others."
>Seemed like everybody was finishing up their tears at this point
>"Anonymous," Starlight spoke, causing all eyes to be on her
>You honestly didn't expect her to speak up
>You barely talk to her
>And the two of you barely know each other
>"I know we don't talk much, and I know we barely know each other,"
>It's like she read your fucking mind
>"But I know what you're going through--honestly. I mean, I know what it's like to miss somebody you hold so dear."
>Pinkie Pie stops her water works for a second to speak, as well
>"I-," she sobs, "I know what it's like to think that everypony hates me."

>>27370800
>Spike speaks up too, although, softly
>"Me too…"
>"And," Rainbow lets go of you for a second, "I know what it's like to be lonely."
>Twilight just lets Rainbow speak, as your apparent "best friend" stands on the table
>"Anon, I… WE all know how it feels to be sad sometimes, or to feel like we're just all alone," she comes to a small whisper, "Even if we don't want to admit it."
>"You can come talk to any of us, darling."
>"No kiddin'. Y'all are 'specially welcome at the farm, if ya need ta talk."
>"Y-You can always come and visit the animals, if you need a safe space for awhile."
>"The castle's always free, Anonymous. That, I can promise you."
>Rainbow hugs you again, this time, tighter than before
>"We love you, Anon," she whispers, "I love you… I-I mean, as a friend, of course. And I promise I'll help you in any way I can, just so you don't do this again."
>You sigh
>And you hug her back
"Thank you. I promise, I won't."
>For some reason, you feel like this place is gonna feel like the home you always wanted it to be like
>And that's a good thing
>Maybe now you won't miss Earth so much

End

Any criticisms, likes, dislikes, yadayada?

>>27370820
Sometimes when I'm drinking from a water fountain I worry that someone will come up behind me and push my head down into the water.

>>27364347
rolling and crying

>>27364347
I want to be saved by ponk

>>27364347
Rolling in my skiinnnn

>>27364347
I am kill

>>27364347
Just give me the fucking 0

>>27370820
Pretty emotional stuff, good overall. My only critique is when you discribed how Applejack, Rarity and Starlight hated anon, there was a complete 180 in attitude. And there wasn't enough information about their disdain for anon. Beyond that, it's still good.

>>27364347
Big money, big money

>>27370820
I liked it and really liked how you wrote Dash. I agree with >>27371110 as I felt that the other characters were more of an afterthought. Overall I really enjoyed it.

>>27370820

Wait, nigga. Didn't you just say that Rarity, AJ, and a bunch of others hate his guts for no reason? Why are they all chummy here?

>>27371110
>>27371365
>>27371299
To explain myself here, my reasoning was that Anon didn't actually know that they didn't hate them, he just assumed so. Although I guess I wasn't as clear with this as I thought with the Rainbow Dash PoV
I'll try and fix it in a bit

>>27364347
Come on 0.

>>27364347
Let's see who stops me

Rolling if dubs royal sisters

>>27371766
I was stopped by celestia and luna

rool

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>>27371766
>>27371794
Wow, it's like I was really there.

if i died, im pretty sure id end up in the eqg world, with my damn luck.

>>27364347
Rollin'

>>27364347
You can't stop me.

>>27364347
welp

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>>27368330
>be 8 weeks into 10 week long pone bootcamp
>it hasn’t actually been as rough as you originally thought it was going to be
>your old gymbro back home used to constantly bitch and tell horror stories of what he experienced in the airforce
>you were prepared for sleepless nights, working out until you puked, and endless mental torture from the drill sergeants
>but none of those terrible things went down
>it actually reminded you more of summer camp but with swords and strength training for the activities
>not sure if it was because of your unique genetics(being a hairless monkey) or because you were born to do this kind of shit, but you excelled at every exercise and test the military pone threw at you
>it was nice to get back into the /fit/ lifestyle after being out of it for so long, muscle memory is awesome
>sword fighting you’re a force to be reckoned with, you’ve gotten so well versed that the other recruits are too scared to even spar with you
>and the military tactics training isn’t so bad, reminds you a lot of high school history class, pretty interesting to see how pastel colored horses wage war
>the only thing you didn’t get to participate in was magic training giving your inability to be effected by it
>if only the talking horses knew the power of funs.exe
>damn…you really miss shooting your raifu
>there was however one similarity between pone bootcamp and gymbro’s airforce experience
>the nightly fappening.png
>dear God, the fapping(clopping in this case) was unreal
>every night right as you were about to fall asleep you were awoken to the sound on 200 hundred stallions tending to their needs within the barrack
>MAKE IT STAHP!! You would think to yourself

bumping with promise of future green

>>27364347
I don't see myself killing my self in equestrian, even if it is like you describe it it's pretty much the way I have been living my life all these years

ponyroll

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>>27364347

>>27369689
I reviewed what I wrote and it's shit. I take it back; no green.

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>>27372556
>be awoken to the sound of a trumpet playing Reveille
>FUCK that trumpet alarm wake up thing the military does.jpg
>you get up out of bed and begin yet another day in pone bootcamp
>morning routine goes the same as ever: get yelled at, shower(fuck stallions and their massive horsecocks btw), get yelled at some moar, put on uniform, get yelled at yet again, eat shitty vegetarian breakfast, followed by more yelling
>just as your unit was preparing to embark on their morning PT exercises, the drill sergeant’s yelling is interrupted by a messenger pony
>his eyes grow wide as he reads the letter that has been delivered to him
>the whole unit goes quiet as his facial expression of rage turns into one of sheer terror
>after done reading, he(realizing he’s exposed power level) regains composer quickly
>“Gentleman, I have news”
>“The princesses’ negotiations for peace with the Saddle Arabians took a turn for the worse late last night”
> “as of 0200, Equestria is officially at war
>“Field Marshall Armor has ordered all available recruits to immediately report for action on the newly opened Saddle Arabian Front”
>“playtime is over gentleman, we’re headed to the sandbox!”
>with that your fellow recruits let a loud “OOH RAH!” in unison
>you however just stood there…
>you’re not sure if it was because of the shock of the news that was just broken or due to thinking about the possibility that may actually die fighting in horseland
>WTF brain? Just a couple months ago you were ready to end it all, now you’re having second thoughts??
>whatever, it’s too late. You’re a soldier now anon

>>27364347
rollin just to see, if I like what I get I might write some green. Maybe.

>>27364347
roll

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>>27365137
Fuck off nigger

I think I managed to fix the few kinks that were in the story
pastebin.com/ahgn3fyw
Anon who made the Rainbow story here with the 3.0 hopefully good enough version.
Only the ending is changed, really. That and a couple mistakes

>>27370843
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsT2g3Xmfak

>>27364347
Rolling this. Not because I'm gonna have even a chance at writing green, I just want to see who would.
>inb4 roll a 0

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>>27374400
Well I mean it was still a 0, I just got dubs with it...
I choose Derpy. She would try to stop it and end up turning suicide into homicide.

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>>27364347
Rolling for sun tan lotion!

>>27374466
Well you got dubs, so wish granted.

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>>27374466
>Double dubs
Alright, let's see how this goes.

>Be an sudoku
>Stand on top of the town hall, ready to kill yourself
>First, you had a flare gun pressed firmly to your temple, if that didn't kill you, well...
>You'd likely fall off the building and experience hanging by the carbon fiber noose, bought at a bargain price from Flim and Flam.
>If that didn't do the trick, you'd fall into a pool full of sharp kitchen knives that you'd gathered in an inflatable pool.
>And if /that/ didn't work, you'd likely die from the liter of rat poison you'd mixed with root beer and drank before coming up here.
>To top it all off, if you lived through all that, the semtex vest you stole from Saddle Arabian terrorists would certainly kill you.
>"Anon, don't do it! You've got so much to live for!"
>Below stood sunbutt in all her resplendent glory, none of the other ponies stopped to give her or yourself the time of day.
> :^)
"Fuck you, The Sun, I don't shine in your stupid face!"
>Fearlessly, you pulled the trigger.
>Only...
>All that happened was your head getting pushed to the side by a little flag saying bang.
>In grief, you shouted "Goodbye, cruel world!" and jumped from the building.
>But Flim and Flam were cheap bastards, and the carbon fiber noose snapped as soon as your weight was applied, giving you nothing worse than a little rope burn.
>Surely the knives would kill you!
>Except kitchen knives were fucking sharp, so of course ponies only kept rubber knives for safety, incidentally, they also broke your fall from a three story building.
>It was then you realised the semtex vest hadn't gone off.
>You pulled off one of the charges and examined it.
>Playdough.
>It was at that moment that sunbutt chose to look down at you from the edge of the inflatable pool.
>"Oh my gosh, are you alright!?"
>Wait a minute.
"I drank a liter of rat poison, how am I not dead?"
>"Why would rat poison kill you? Rats could get hurt if it were poisonous!"
"I am a failure."

>>27364347
Luna baby

>>27364347
Rolling for someone who actually gives a fuck about me

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>>27373120
>be just before dawn in Equestrian zeppelin fleet just off shore of Saddle Arabia
>you’ve been assigned to Lieutenant Spitfire’s strike team
>Spitfire was a hot head pegasi, the mare would be set off by only the slightest of mistakes
>in the short time you’ve been under her command, you’ve managed to piss her off on numerous occasions for petty bullshit
>whatever, guess she’s butthurt she can longer fly due to some accident that happened years ago…she did get a cool set of brass plated wings out of it though, the bitch should look at the bright side of things you think to yourself
>you’ve also heard rumors she used to be the commander of the pone equivalent of the Blue Angels
>all and all, at least she was hot. Something about a female in power gets you riled up
>this morning spitfire was particularly amped up
>dat preworkout.jpeg
>“Alight you maggots, we’re about to make landfall on southern beaches of the enemy’s homeland!”
>“remember, NO BACKING DOWN!!”
>“if I catch anyone of your pathetic flanks trying to run away from the fight, I’ll gladly kill you myself”
“YES MAM” you yell out in unison with your unit
> “I didn’t hear yoUUU!???”
“YES MAM!!!!!”
>“alright, get geared up, we board the drop boats in 0025”
>just as your unit begins making way to the zeppelin’s armory cannon fire begins to erupt
>the morning twilight sky is light up by magically enhanced cannonballs
>shades of purple and blues reign down on the enemy coast below, simply beautiful if you ignore the fact that hundreds of ponies are probably burning alive from it
> “THERE’S NO TIME TO ADMIRE THE FIREWORKS PRIVATE, GET YOUR ARMOR ON NOW!!”
>huh, r-right armor

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>>27374699
I want to choose Lyra since she's my waifu, but I feel like a selfish asshole because now I'm some sort of burden on her. Goddammit, is it normal to feel that way?

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>>27374717
ug stupid file size, have to split this one

>you grab your custom made set out the locker and begin to suit up
>one of the benefits of being the only kind of your species is you always get that dank custom made shit…this one is paid for curtsey of aunty Celestia ‘you chuckle’
>once the entire unit is suited up in the traditional guardspony gold and blue attire, the process of issuing weapons is set to begin
>however before weapons can be properly issued, somethings goes wrong
>the Equestrian zeppelins had been raining cannon fire down with no return fire from the enemy
>suddenly a beam of teal energy emits from somewhere behind enemy lines
>the beam impacts one of the nearby zeppelins, the craft instantly bursts into flames
>the crys’ of hundreds of ponies aboard the ship can be heard in the crisp morning air
>you’ve never seen horse magic that strong before.exe
>even the fearless leader, Spitfire, has an emotionless expression strewn across her face
>chaos amongst the soldiers aboard the ship begins to erupt

>>27364347
7 get!

>>27374777
checked

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>>27374759
>with the burning zeppelin in the background, you try to snap your commander out of her state of shock
“Commander! Commander!! What would you like us to do mam?!!!”
>she’s finally snaps out of her trance
>“PONIES, GRAB A WEAPON AND MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE DROPSHIPS! DOUBLE TIME!!!
>amidst the chaos you manage to snag one of the larger swords(approximately the length of a human two-hander) normally reserved for unicorns who can wield it with their magic
>you make it a board your commander’s drop ship in the nick of time
>the unicorn pilot’s horn lights up and the small vessel departs from its perch along the side of the zeppelin
>you look down(second thought, its long way down, shouldn’t have looked) to see a flash of teal light emitting from the enemy territory below
>within seconds a second beam of energy emerges from the ground below
>this time it strikes the zeppelin you were aboard just a few moments ago
>again, the ship instantly bursts into flames, resulting in screams of agony from the crew aboard( that is, those who were unlucky enough to be killed instantly upon impact) burning alive
>yfw the Saddle Arabians have managed to create a pone version of a Nazi deathray machine

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>>27374777
I didn't want this...

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>>27370820
Rolling for some reason I lose all of my iron willpower and decide to an hero due to still being a god damn virgin when normally I never would

If dubs celestia


How does X pone react if I tell them what it was really over rather than just lie and say "loneliness"

>>27374810
>0
lol I got 0
>mfw

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>>27374900
Okay, I know who to choose.

>Your name is Anon and the gun's at your head.
>You start to pull the trigger but the gun is lifted away with magic.
"Don't fight it. You'll only make things worse."
>The filly sneers at you, magic cutting off before she spreads her wings defiantly.
>"Foolish mortal, you fail to realize love is a chemical reaction towards a suitable mate. Do you not see your species's self-destructive nature?"
"I was literally going to kill myself before you came in. Hurry up so I can continue."
>"Humanity's futile efforts shall be for naught when I strike thee down to Tartarus, where the most evil of beings shall ravage your body daily."
"You mean the ziggers?"
>"Yep."
>While she believes she has found a fellow NeighNeighNeigh member, you grab the gun at point it at your head without hesitation.
"Persona."
>"Ah, fucketh my lifeth."

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>>27374983
"I am thou...And thou art I..."
>Your power rises or some shit!
"From the sea of thy soul I come forth..."
>Nyx is fucking scared.
"To our foes, I say BEWARE!"
"I am Box Ghost, Master of All Things Cardboard and Square!"
>"This is fucking retarded. Eth."
"Yep."
>You activate your strongest attack, MEGIBOXLAON.
>It's the best I got.
>NYX IS DEAD
>You then hang yourself peacefully.
"My greatest dream is a world without redditors."

THE END. I will now follow in everyone's favorite self-insert's footsteps and hang myself. Bye.

>>27364347
Roll out

>>27375011
The pinnacle of nyxposting

rollan

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>everyone who rolled 0

>>27364347
Might as well role

I can only hope

Moonhorse role

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>>27364347
I might as well be Guac merchant.

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Allahu Ackboner!

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>>27364347
Rolling

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>>27375616
>E-excuse me anon, please don't end your life!
>You have so much to live for, like...
>...um, well, theres always...
>...W-well, could you please just um...Not die, but still keep your distance from us?
>I-I mean if its not too much to ask.
>...Anon, what are you doing with that toaster?
>W-why are you starting a bath? I mean you don't smell...that bad, I guess.
>...O-okay, you have fun with that. I'm going to head back to my cottage.
>See you later, I mean, maybe...

>>27375493
Nope applehorse

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>>27364347
AGHHHHHHHHH

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>>27375905

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>>27364347
Every time I see this prompt I think of this image...

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>>27375928
I wonder what it would be like for Celestia to rescue me, would be nice to have someone care that much about me...

>>27365888
Triple 8's: Tia saves you and gives you a blowjob. Suicidal Tendencies gone, new fetishes are born!

>>27364347
rrrrrrollin

>>27375999
>trips

the whole town.

fuck