Hype Quest

>Shuffling some papers on your desk you begin to clean up for the day, putting them in the file drawer where they belong
>Loosening your tie just a bit you lean back into your office chair, leathery wings rustling a bit as you get comfy
>It always feels good to end a long day of work to get to go to your loving home
>Well, if Raven’s in a loving mood that is
>As you relax the clipping of hooves causes your ears to perk up, a zebra peeking into your cubicle
>”Hey Hype, what’s up?”
“Oh, nothing much Wewuz. Just getting ready to clock out”
>”I hear ya. I’ll probably stay a little longer, get the rest of these reports taken care of”
“Wish I could help, I always loved filling out those end of the day budget reports. But you know how the wife is”
>”You sure Hype? You know it pays overtime, I’m sure Raven wouldn’t mind you coming home with a little more cash, especially with that foal on the way”

>>27317081
Think hard, were we supposed to get her anything after work and do those places close?

>>27317081
Thanks, but no thanks. I need to get home and show the missus just how much I care about her.

>You place a hoof to your chin, thinking deeply
>You don’t think she asked you to grab anything on the way home. Which is surprising since she usually requests ice cream or something else
>Taking a minute to be sure of yourself you eventually shrug, concluding that you’re in the clear
>But still, you know that she doesn’t it like it when you stay late
“Thanks, but no thanks. I need to get home and show the missus just how much I care about her”
>The zebra nods, walking on by
>”Suit yourself. Have a nice night”
“You too Wewuz. I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow”
>Gathering your bags you saddle up, flicking off the small lamp in your cubicle
>Stepping out into the mostly empty halls you trot towards the exit, punching out along the way as you pass a random coworker or two
>Heading out into the streets the evening sun casts a rich hue over the city scape
>Most ponies are already home by this hour, but you’ve got a busy job. Them rocks won’t sell themselves!
>Waiting patiently at the bus stop it eventually picks you up, whisking you away towards home
>Half an hour later and you unlock the front door to your little home, right on the outskirts of town
>The door creaks as you push on it, flicking on the entrance light as you do
“Raven, I’m home!”
>No response
“Raven?”
>Shutting the door gently you trot on inside, heading into the living room
>The soft mummer of the TV greats you
>Well that and your wife
>”And just where were YOU?”
>The unicorn slowly lifts her head off the couch she’s laying on, giving you a cross look
“Wh-what do you mean?”
>”You’re home ten minutes later than usual! You promised me not to stay late!”

>>27317398
Since busses don't usually run on 10 minute intervals, i assume it was late.

So use that as our excuse.

She's not bothered by you staying late. Dodge that remark and just next to her. Give her a hoof massage and ask how her day was.

>>27317398
>”You’re home ten minutes later than usual! You promised me not to stay late!”
I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was home later than usual. There must have been traffic on the bus route or something. How can I make it up to you? Want anything to eat? Want a hug? How can I help?

>>27317464
Thissum.

>>27317398
There was traffic on the bus route, and while saying this do
>>27317464

>>27317464
This.

>You begin to walk around the couch, not answering right away
>You’ve been around the block a few times, and know that she’s probably not mad about you being late, but something else
>Dropping your saddle bags you hop up on the couch, cushions gently squishing below you
>Soon you’ve wriggled your way up next to Raven, her hind hooves resting in your lap
>”Well? You gonna answer or what?”
>Her nostrils flare, muzzle scrunching ever so slightly
“It wasn’t my fault dear, traffic held the bus up”
>She opens her mouth to respond, but it quickly cut off, your hoof squishing into hers, giving it a soothing massage
>A sigh is all that comes out from her lips, head slowly lying back down on the other couch arm
>You’ve given her plenty of hoof massages since she got pregnant. It’s hard stuff being on your hooves all day with a foal in you!
>”Y-you’re lucky you’re so good at that”
>Giving the mare a gentle smile you switch hooves, beginning to work on the other
>In a few minutes her scrunch is no more, relaxed expression on her face, sighing in satisfaction once more
“So, how was your day dear?”
>”Well I tried to clean the kitchen, but I just couldn’t bend over to use the dust pan”
“But… why didn’t you just use your magic?”
>”I was tired from making new potions”
>You cringe a bit at that. Ever since she moved it your house has had various magic vials and potions laying around, some of them kinda dangerous
“Sounds like you had an alright day then”
>Her emerald eyes roll
>”I guess… but I can’t even go out with the girls anymore”
>She huffs, looking at her pudgy belly with slight annoyance

>>27317890
You could have the girls come here, make a day out of catching up.

>>27317890
Need me to get you anything, dear? If you're hungry, I could make something.

>>27317890
What >>27317941 said. Have a day in. I can even help you set up.

>>27317941
Do this, and get her something to eat

“Well hey, why not just have the girls come over here then?”
>”Uh… I don’t know”
“Why not? I’m sure they’d love to come over! We could make a day of it, have you catch up with them”
>”Hype, honey, I don’t know if you’d want them to come over”
“And why not? I promise I won’t be put off by all the girly stuff. What with you guys painting your hooves or braiding each other’s manes or whatever it is mares do”
>”Alright then Hype, just remember that it was your idea”
>She sits up just a little, hooves wiggling in your lap as you continue to rub
>”Guess I’ll give them all a call tomorrow”
“Great! I’ll even help you set up”
>”You’re damn straight you will”
>She gives you a cheeky grin, the annoyance gone from her bright eyes
>Gently getting off the couch you walk over and give her a peck on the cheek which she quickly returns
“Now then, want something to eat?”
>She ponders the question for a moment, looking to her belly
>”Hmmm. Surprise me. And it better be good or else!”
>Oh god, you hate it when she says that. Pregnant mares have the weirdest cravings

>>27318306
Vegetarian Curry!

>>27318306
Get her something cold to drink first. Like a milkshake. Make it unhealthy as possible

>>27318540
lots of fats. high calorie.

>You nod, Raven going back to watching the TV, some shopping network on
>You really hope another purse doesn’t end up on your doorstep
>Trotting into the kitchen you open up the fridge, looking around for anything that might satisfy her
>Eyes darting back and forth, you attempt to get your brain working, straining for a solution
>Well… you got plenty of spices
>Vegetarian curry it is!
>Grabbing a bowl you set to work, sparing no effort as you attempt to perfect the dish
>Gotta make sure it’s spot on, or you might face her wrath
>You shudder, not wanting to displease her with dinner yet again
>You still have flashbacks to the last time
>As the clock ticks on your finally finish, putting a single piece of parsley on top of your dish
>You’re not sure if that belongs in curry, but presentation is key!
>Grabbing the bowl with a wing you trot confidently back into the living room, Raven’s nose scrunching a couple times as she sniffs the air
>”What’d you make?”
“Oh you know, just a nice dish of curry”
>Handing it off she quickly shoves a spoonful into her maw, eyes closing briefly
>Standing there, beads of sweat begin to form on your face
“W-well? How is it”
>Removing the spoon from her mouth she swallows, tiny smile forming
>”It’s… acceptable”
>You sigh in relief
>”You’re luck too”
>She takes another bite, chewing it up before swallowing
>”I had some new curses I wanted to try out, and a sub par husband seemed like a good test subject”
>She chuckles darkly as the spoon greedily descends once more

>>27318575
I'm glad you like it, honey

>>27318575
Why don't you tell me a little bit about your friends, dear? I can't wait to meet them.

>>27318575
Hype fucked up

A house full of witches

>>27318575
Just remember hun, if they're not reverseable you only get the one test.

“Well, glad you like it”
>Sitting back down on the couch she lifts her hooves up for you, letting you get comfy
“And just remember hun, if they're not reverseable you only get the one test”
>She stops lowering the spoon in thought before shrugging
>”Eh, I’d take my chances”
>Your eyes go wide
>”If you weren’t so darn cute that is”
>She leans up every so slightly, huffing as she struggles
>Leaning over to aide in her task she quickly nuzzles you, giggling as she lays back down
“So tell me a little bit about your friends, I can’t wait to meet them!”
>”Um, well…”
>She takes another bite, probably to buy herself time
>“Well we all have similar hobbies I guess you could say”
“What’s that? Looking at art? Watching shopping networks?”
“Ehhh… more of the magic oriented side”
>Oh
>Oh no
>”By the way, if there’s a sigil on the living room carpet when you come home, please don’t try to vacuum it up. I don’t want you getting zapped off into another plain of existence”

>>27318811
Thanks for warning me, hun. and will you please at least try to keep your friends from using too much of their magic on me?

>>27318811
Tell your friends I'm a one witch kind of guy.

“Thanks for warning me hun”
>”No problem Hype. I know how diligent you are about keeping this place spotless”
>It’s true. You once spent three days cleaning cobwebs in the corner as fast as the spider could spin them because you didn’t have the heart to hurt it
“Well go ahead and tell your friends that I’m a one witch kind of guy”
>”Oh don’t you worry about that, we’ll play nicely”
>Her devious grin doesn’t reassure you
“And, will you please at least try to keep your friends from using too much of their magic on me?”
>”No guarantees there Hype. But I’m sure there won’t be any ill effects!”
>The last time she said that you had to live in a gerbil cage for a week…
>She chuckles to herself, one of her hooves, gently patting your cheek
>”Don’t worry though, I’ll make sure things don’t get too crazy. I’d hate to explain to this little guy how their father disappeared in a freak caldron accident”
>She slowly rubs her belly, swooning over it
>”You know, I can’t believe that the first time we met I tried to kill you… and then you tried to kill me afterwards”
“I told you, that griffon made me do it!”
>”Well either way, I just want you to know that although I may yell at you a lot, and act pissy… and try untested potions on you, you’re the only bat for me”

>>27319030
And you're the only gypsy for me. Love you Raven.

>>27319030
Love you too.

Did Hype ever propose to Raven by the end of urban or should we add that to the list of things to do?

“And you’re the only gypsy for me. Love you Raven”
>Gently caressing her stomach you can almost feel the foal kick
>Or maybe that was the curry
>You both lay there in silence for a while, the TV still humming in the background
>Outside the sun finally drops over the horizon, the last bit of sun intermixing with the twilight in the sky
>But your trance is soon broken as Raven shifts
“You ok?”
>”Yeah, the little guy is kicking around in there”
“Maybe he’ll be good at hoof ball?”
>”Let’s just hope. By the way Hype, with this foal on the way, I was just wondering”
“… Wondering what?”
>”You know, wondering when we’re finally gonna tie the knot. I mean, You don’t want to be a stereotype do you?”
“Hey look, just because I accidentally got a unicorn mare pregnant out of marriage does not mean that I am a bat stereotype. Look at my last eight employee of the month plaques if you have any doubt!”
>Your hoof points over to the fireplace, the gleaming awards hanging above it right next to your 'Mineral Peddler of the Year' trophy
>”I know Hype, I know. I also know that we’re short on cash sometimes, but I’d at least like to be legally married before we become parents”

>>27319230
Well, I can pick up some extra time at work probably. Or maybe there's something we can do with your magic, I'm a pretty good sales pony so if you can brew up something good I could probably sell it as a second job, just to help pay for the wedding.

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>>27319279
So why are you back?

>>27319287
He missed us.

Guess you can't do something nearly every day for 8 months without liking it.

>>27319287
I got a month to piss away before I have to go. Plus Hype was too adorable to to have his own spin off

>>27319279

Glad to have you back. We still love you.

goodnight bump

>Res still tries to be relevant
wew

>>27320506
Lad

>>27319279
>the fucking squirrel

10/10

>>27320506
fite me fucko

>>27321335
res pls

>>27321556
no

boop

>>27319230
if we're short on cash, ask if you can work overtime when her friends come over. They can deal with her. Also need to buy a horn ring in the future.
Does she want a big ceremony? We could go to the court house and get married can't we?

>>27323296
I feel it would be prudent to ask what kind of stone she wants as well.

I know diamonds are traditional, but she may want some stone with certain magical properties or something.

>>27323296
She's kind of a romantic, she'd probably prefer a grand gesture and a ceremony over 'what ring you want? okay, meet you at the courthouse tommorow'

>>27323338
I definitely agree. Hype would probably agree too, though it's very expensive.

>>27323350
Time to go beg Gar for a loan. :^)

>>27323338
we can always have the grand ceremony later. lots of people do that.

>>27323364
It's an idea, though it's all up to whether or not Raven would accept it.

>>27323353
I think shade should give us a loan
Oh wait :^)

>>27323377
Gar is worst princess

>>27323373
The court is a fast solution but i dont think we really need a fast solution. I'm sure Raven will be happy as long as we're married before she gives birth, so we can aim for a big ceremony and if we fail to get the cash we can do the courthouse thing as a fallback plan.

>>27323384
I'll buy that.

“I mean, I could try to pick up overtime at work, it might help”
>”Well… alright. But not every night!”
“Of course not! Just enough to start saving up money on the side”
>”I don’t want you crawling into bed at midnight, even if you are a bat”
“I promise I won’t overwork myself. Like I said, just enough to start saving for a wedding”
>Speaking of wedding, you’re not even sure how you would even start to plan that
>Can’t do it at the church. Last time you went the priest hit Raven with holy water
“And while we’re talking about it, have you put any thought into how exactly you wan-“
>”Sure have!”
>Her horn lights up, floating over a booklet which promptly pops open
>”We could have it at the art gallery! See? They rent out for weddings!”
>You stare at the page, a happy looking couple standing under a large Renaissance painting
“Er, sure honey. Any idea how much it is?”
>”Oh I don’t know, I’m sure you could call”
>Well, that solves the location, maybe. But you can’t have a wedding without a horn ring
>But that shouldn’t be a problem. You’re Hype, employee of the month! Your hooves have handled more diamonds and gems than any other pony in Baltimare!
>You know exactly how to get great deals on all the common jewels
>”Speaking of marriage…”
>She quickly pulls out another paper from seemingly nowhere
>”You wouldn’t happen to have handled any of these at work, have you?”
>Snatching it, you give the sheet a good look over
>An expertly cut gem glistens in the picture, it’s vibrant violet colors gleaming in the display light
>Chaos Emerald
>But… emeralds are supposed to be green
“Are you sure this is an emerald?”
>”Of course! It’s infused with magical energy, that’s why it’s purple!”
“I uh, don’t think we deal in these. I've never even heard of them”
>Her muzzle scrunches up
>”W-well Pin Prick’s husband got her one!”

>>27323806
Where do I get one?

>>27323806
can you get us a way to contact pin prick's husband?

>>27323806
I might know a hedgehog who can help us.

>>27323934
wat

>>27323965
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt4bd1OaHTQ

“Well, do you know where I can get one?”
>”Not really. But you work with this stuff, you should know!”
“You know how to get in contact with Pin Prick’s husband? I’d bet he knows”
>”Oh you can just ask Pin Prick when she comes over. I’ll have her here with the rest of the girls”
>Well, guess that settles that
>As you ponder all this Raven yawns, flicking off the TV
>It takes a minute but she manages to shakily get to her hooves, rolling off the couch
>”Well, I’m heading off the bed. Cleaning took it out of me today”
“You sure? It’s barely past 9”
>”Yeah. You don’t understand how much effort it took to clean the ceiling”
“Clean the ceiling?“
>Your snoot scrunches as something wet hits it
>Looking up the living room ceiling casually drips soapy water, small cracks forming from the moisture
“Uh, Raven dear, I don’t think th-“
>”Goodnight!”
>Her jet black tail disappears around the corner, the sound of your bedroom door shutting soon afterwards
>Peering back upwards you can only shake your head
>This is going to take forever to clean!
>Sighing, you watch another drop fall
>She really tries, but she isn’t the best housewife. Cleaning properly doesn’t come as easily as dark magic apparently
>… Wait a minute, you’ve seen her use potions to clean up messes before>Trotting to the closet you open it up, a dank smell hitting your nose
>Various magical ingredients lines the shelves, bubbling vials glowing in the darkness
>Maybe you could try out one of these? It’d sure as heck beat trying to dry the ceiling yourself

>>27324173
That sounds like an awful idea.

>>27324173
>drinking something when you don't know what it is or could do
hell no.

>>27323806
>Chaos Emerald

This is my first time reading this CYOA.
What the fuck?

>>27324309
CHAOS CONTROL

>>27324309
IT'S NO USE

>>27324309
It's all of our first times reading this CYOA.

>>27324371
Could've fooled me.
Aside from the OP post, I thought this was ongoing.

>>27324416
Nope. Brand new CYOA. It's a spinoff, but it's its own thing.

“Hmmm”
>This one is pink, pink never hurt anypony, it’s such a safe color
>You reach forward, getting ready to pick up the vial
>But that’s when you notice the skulls and crossbones label
>In fact, a lot of these have similar warnings on them
>… maybe you’ll just get a towel
>Quickly shutting the closet you trot off, grabbing the necessary supplies
>Flapping your wings you hover in the living room, reaching up with the towel to soak up the soapy water above you
>Man, unicorns have it so good. If you had magic this wouldn’t be a problem
>Scrubbing back and forth you attempt to absorb every last drop
>With a final wipe you get the last of the droplets, ceiling practically sparkling
>Landing back on the carpet you wring the towel one last time over a bucket, smiling in satisfaction
>That didn’t take long, it’s only… 3 AM
>Crap
>Shaking your head you quickly put everything away, trotting to your bedroom as you flick off the light
>Quietly sliding into bed you find Raven already curled up in your mango themed blanket, you joining her a quick second later
>Leaning over you give her a quick kiss on the forehead, the unicorn’s ears flicking slightly
“Goodnight dear…”
>…
>The incessant buzz final causes you to rise, your hoof hitting the alarm clock
>7 already?
>Rubbing your eyes you yawn, peeling yourself out of the bed
>Well, an employee of the month’s job is never over you assume
>Fighting back the urge to snuggle down into the bed once more you flop onto the floor, heading towards the bathroom
>Turning on the shower you lift a hoof into the spray, waiting for it to heat up before stepping in
>Standing for a few minutes a content sigh escapes your lips, the hot water tickling your hide as it mixes with your coat
>But your happy thoughts are shattered as the shower curtain is ripped back
“AH!”
>Your crotch is swiftly covered by your custom mango luffa
>Raven’s face greets you, sly grin on her lips
“Hey there, room for one more?”

>>27324490
Sure, come on in.

>>27324490
part of me wants to say no because we don't want to be late for work, then again it should be fine if we're quick right?

>>27324490
Sure. Mutual back scrubbing is now!

>>27324490
Yes, but I'm counting two.

>You really don’t want to be late for work
>But then again, it’ll be fine if you’re quick. Besides, you’re not going to say no to a witch
“Sure, come on in. But I’m counting two”
>She gives you a playful punch on the shoulder before climbing, in, taking her time to gain her footing
>But her tail soon slides in after her, the curtain being shut once more
>Raven’s black mane soon droops as the water sprays it, her hoof whipping it out from her eyes
>”So how’s your morning going?”
“Well, it kind of just started, but we’re saving one hundred percent more water showering, so it’s off to a nice start”
>She nods at your answer, turning around away from you
>”Well, as long as I’m in here, mind scrubbing my back?”
“No problem dear”
>You grab the shampoo bottle, squeezing a fruity smelling glob into your hoof, lathering her back in it
>The suds bubble with her fur, Raven sighing in pleasure
>”Appreciate it. Kinda hard to reach back there when you’re pregnant”
“It’s my pleasure, really”
>Humming a little tune you continue to work the soap around her back
>”Hey Hype, you know what else is hard for me to reach?”
“Hm?”
>”My belly”
“No problem!”
>You take some more shampoo, rubbing your hoof as gently as possible on her underside
>Raven in the meantime makes little gasps
>”O-oh… that feel good. How about you go a little lower?”
“Sure thing dear”
>Your hoof wanders back along her belly
>”Lower”
“O-okay”
>You nudge is back just a little more
>”Lower.”
>Sliding it back just a fraction more your hoof comes upon two sensitive little mounds, your body freezing as it does
>You watch as her tail instinctively raises slightly
>”Well? You gonna help or not?”

>>27324818
Y-yeah

>>27324818
I-If we go fast we might not be late.

>>27324818
Y-you too

>>27324818
better start sensually rubbing them teets

>>27324818
Just tease her heavily before getting out of the shower and fuck her silly when her friends are over.

“Y-you too”
>She facehoofs
>Even with a wife, you don’t think you’ll ever be anything more than a socially awkward little bat
“I mean, s-sure”
>Your hoof eases its way back just a little more, the teats cupped comfortably in it
>Maybe if you make it quick you can still get to work on time
>Massing, the hoof works its way in a small circular motion, the fleshy little mounds becoming progressively harder
>The hissing of the shower is soon mixed with Ravens little moans, the mare gasping with each pass of the hoof
>Soon you begin to grunt a little, a tingling feeling swelling up in your crotch
>Teasing her nipples, you begin to lean over her, primal instincts telling you to mount
>As you do she looks slightly back, whispering
>”Oh Hype~”
“Yes dear?”
>Your teeth begin to grit, pressure building
>”Have fun at work!”
>She give you a quick wink before a burst of light causes you to stumble backwards
>Rubbing your eyes you look around in confusion, spotting Raven’s silhouette through the shower curtain
>She grabs a towel and begins to dry off
>You really hate teleportation spells…

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>>27325216
Y-yes dear

>>27325216
Thank you. Yes, dear.

Finish our shower and get to work.

>>27325216
Let's go. We should probably get a coffee on the way since we didn't get enough sleep last night.

“Y-yes dear. Thank you”
>You swallow your cursed emotions, electing to sooth them with kiwi scented mane conditioner
>It’s Raven’s you swear
>As she finishes up drying off and exists the room you finish up your shower, trying to make up for the time lost touching teats
>Stumbling out you flap your wings, air drying them as you grab a clean towel
>A minute later a puffed up bat pony trots out of the bathroom, clouds of thick steam following out the door
>Quickly snagging your lunch from the fridge you make your way to the couch, Raven reading a catalog
“Bye Raven, love you!”
>”Alright dear, I’ll call you if I need anything”
>Leaning in you give each other a kiss, velvet noses booping gently
>With that you two separate, your hooves galloping out the door
>Giving a small hop your wings unfurl once more, clawing for altitude
>It’s a bit of a flight, but you don’t have the luxurious of time to wait for the next bus
>Touching down a while later you scoot through Standard Mineral Company’s front doors, only stopping to check the clock as you adjust your favorite tie
>8:20 AM, ten minutes to spare
>Well, you weren’t as late as you feared
>Trotting away once more you yawn, eyes watering a bit
>You need some coffee…
>Turning into the break room down the hallway you immediately begin to fix yourself a cup
>You normally don’t drink it, as it can make you hyper. But you feel as though you’ll need some today
>Finally brining the steaming mug to your muzzle you take a sip, trying to enjoy the flavor
>”Oh hey Hype, ho- oh geez, you don’t look so good”
>Your zebra coworker walks into the room, looking a bit concerned
“What do you mean?”
>”I mean you look like a drowned rat. Droopy eyes, and your fur looks a bit puffed up. You ok?”

>>27325544
put on your smooth marekiller face and say 'Raven joined me in the shower today, had to airdry to make up on time'

>>27325544
Yeah, I'm fine.

My wife tried to clean the ceiling with what I assume was a mop. I had to fix it so the ceiling didn't get damaged, and I didn't get much sleep.

I got to shower with Raven this morning though, so it was nice.

>>27325544
Didn't get a lot of sleep last night and took a quick shower this morning. Didn't want to be late.

>You try to put on your smoothest mare killer face, grinning
>”… Why’s your eye twitching?”
“Raven joined me in the shower today, had to air dry to make up on time”
>”Oh snap! Didn’t know she was so affectionate, every time she calls your office she just yells through the phone”
“Well today she was feeling kinda frisky I guess”
>”But that doesn’t explain why you look like you’re about to flop over and die”
“A apparently my wife tried to clean the ceiling with what I assume was a mop. I had to fix it so the ceiling didn't get damaged, and I didn't get much sleep”
>”She cleaned it with a mop?”
“I guess”
>”Man, I wish my wife would pick up a mop”
>He looks off into the distance, slowly shaking his head a couple times
“Uh, yeah… but anyway, I got just a couple hours of sleep”
>”Well we’ve got a shipment coming in today, so look alive”
“Won’t be a problem Wewuz, I’m in my mineral dealing prime!”
>The two of you share a laugh, you downing the rest of your coffee before heading towards your cubicle

>Soon you pop open your file cabinet, pulling out some folder
>With a quick stretch and another yawn you get to work
>Time ticks on by, the words on the paperwork getting progressively blurry
>Groggily reaching over to your mug you lift it your snout only to find that you’re once more out of coffee
>Opening your mouth your little fangs poke out as your body involuntarily lets off a might yawn
>Darn ceilings
>”Hype?”
>Looking up a large earth pony stands in your cubicle entrance, slicked back mane complimented by his suit top
“O-oh! Hello boss!”
>You try to give him a nervous grin, rubbing your eyes quickly
>”You sick? You should head home if you’re not feeling well”
“No sir, I couldn’t!”
>”Hype, I don’t think you’ve ever used a personal or sick day since you started working here”
“But that’s only been four years”
>”Well sick ponies aren’t productive workers, especially with that gem shipment coming in any minute. You sure you’re alright?”

>>27325907
As long as the coffee machine stays full i'll be right as rain.

>>27325907
we'll stay. it's just one day.

>>27325907
I'm fine. It's because of days like today that I don't drink much coffee.

That way it really works when I do need it.

>>27325907
Sure as can be.

>>27326043
needs the phone

“Sure as can be. As long as the coffee machine stays full I'll be right as rain”
>He gives you a questioning look but soon shrugs
>”If you say so. Just don’t want to overwork my employee of the month”
“Trust me sir, it's because of days like today that I don't drink much coffee. That way it really works when I do need it”
>”Clever. Alright well expect one of the guys to drop off some of the shipment soon. I just want you to sort through it, determine the value of each stone. You know, the usual”
“Will do boss!”
>”Thanks Hype. Knew I could count on you”
>He gives you a goodbye wave as he trots off, the sound of his clipping hooves disappearing down the hall
>Suppose you should get another mug full before these rocks arrive
>Wheeling backwards in your chair you hop out of it, cup tucked under your wing as you make a byline for the caffeine dispensing machine
>As you fill it up, you can’t help but grin at your upcoming task
>You love getting to be hooves on with the minerals! And nopony here is better at determining their values than you
>Plus you get to use that cool eye loupe!
>Taking another swig you head on back to your office

>Walking in, you nearly squee with joy
>Plenty of boxes await you, ready to be categorized and priced
>Downing another mouthful of coffee you get to work, popping open a box labeled ‘semi-precious stones’
>Tucking yet another box under your desk you tally up the final value of each stone, scribbling your recommendations
>Sighing, you drink more coffee
>Nopony said this was an easy job
>Looking over to the clock you note that it’s late in the day, most of the other employees probably are getting ready to leave
>But not Hype!
>Figuring you’ve got time for one last batch you pick up another heavy box, placing it on your desk
>Emeralds
>Popping off the lid you take a look inside, multitudes of sparkling green gems glinting in your eyes
>But as you ponder where to start, one in particular catches your eye
>A large violet gem rests inside, casually buried in the corner next to all of it's green cousins

>>27326184
I wonder if they do employee discounts.

>>27326184
Ask the boss about it before he leaves.
We don't actually know how to price these anyway.

File: 1447930909116.png (216KB, 1000x568px) Image search: [Google]

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Pausing

>>27326282
starting

>>27326231
This.

>>27326282
We don't talk about the squirrel incident.

>>27326366
but why?

>>27326877
We DON'T TALK about the squirrel incident.

>>27326938
What if we discuss it through the wonder of interpretive dance?

>>27327785
How does one portray being clingy towards raven to the.point where you annoy her and she curses you into having bad luck?

>>27326231
This.

>Inb4 our foal is a baticorn

I want to cheat on Raven with homo white unicorn

>>27328983
But Gar doesn't live near us anymore.

>>27329058
Long distance cucking.

>>27329604

>>27329814

File: 1454589895698.png (153KB, 900x900px) Image search: [Google]

153KB, 900x900px

>>27328917

wonder why they haven't done an ultrasound yet. Then they would know exactly what to get the baby.

>That’s odd
>Reaching forward you pick it up, rolling it around in your hoof
>Never seen one like this before. Maybe it got mixed with the wrong shipment?
>As you examine the hefty stone closer the cogs in your brain start to turn
“Wait a minute… this is the gem Raven wanted!”
>How convenient!
>But it quickly dawns on you that you have no idea how to price such a thing, only discovering its existence today
>Better consult the boss
>Placing the box under your desk you head out into the hallway, gem in hoof
>Weaving through the plethora of other ponies attempting to clock out for the day you eventually come to your boss’s office, the door somewhat ajar
>Two little ear tufts peak around the doorframe, soon followed by your hopeful eyes
“Boss?”
>He quickly puts down a sheet of paper he was peering at, looking towards the door
>”Hype? Do you need me?”
“Yes sir, I need your opinion!”
>”Well don’t fumble around out there, come on in”
>With a pleased smile on your face you push the door open, trotting inside
>”What can I do for you?”
“Well, you can tell me about… this!”
>Placing the jewel on his desk he gives it a curious look
>”That’s odd… what shipment did that come in?”
“It was in a box of emeralds, never seen one before. Was actually hoping that you could price it”
>He rubs his chin a little, slowly lifting the glinting stone
>”Huh. Well I honestly have no idea Hype. I don’t even know what I’m looking at to be honest”
“Well, if you had to come up with a price, you think that maybe… you could put an employee discount on it?”
>He lowers the gem, an inquisitive expression on his muzzle
>”Why’s that? You got plans for this thing?”

>>27331871
Well, my marefriend said she really wants this specific kind of gem for the wedding.

>>27331871
I'm hoping to propose with it actually.

>>27331895
This.

“Well, I was actually hoping to propose with it”
>His ears perk up, obviously more curious
>”Propose? With this thing? Hype it’s barely even cut, and even then you’d have to get it set in a ring”
“I know, but my marefriend said she really wants this specific kind of gem for the wedding”
>”I’m not even sure what this specific gem is, do you?”
“She said it was called a chaos emerald I think. It’s got magical properties, so it’s colored all weird”
>You give him a hopeful smile, trying to hide your excitement that you actually found the gem
>”Well, I’m sorry Hype, but we just can’t sell off individual stones”
>Your ears immediately flop down, head becoming crest fallen
“Are you sure sir?”
>”Yes, we have to sell them as a set Hype, these are meant for companies to buy in bulk”
“O-oh, I didn-“
>”However, when we sell the batch it came in, I could let you know where it’s going if you’d like? You could talk to the company that buys it”

>>27332169
Of course, sir. Anything to help me get it.

>>27332169
it would be easier to just order one ourselves.
let's try the company though.

>>27332169
That'd be great. Thanks boss.

“Of course, sir. Anything to help me get it!”
>He smirks at your enthusiasm, handing the gem back to you
>”Well go on and place it back in the box, I’ll give some of my peers a call and see if I can’t come up with a price for it”
“Will do”
>”And as soon as I figure out where it’s being shipped, you’ll be the first to know”
“EEEEE!”
>You quickly place a hoof over your muzzle, blushing in embarrassment
“Uh, I mean, th-thanks boss”
>”No problem. Now go on and get out of here, it’s time to close up”
>Nodding, you trot on out of his office with a final ‘thank you’
>Getting back into your cubicle you’re quick to open up the container, placing the coveted jewel inside
>Giving it one final look over you sigh, closing the lid
>It might be easier to try and order another one, but if your boss hasn’t even seen one of these, you’re not too sure of your chances
>Reaching over to grab your saddle bags you prepare to clock out for the day
>That is until you see the light on your answering machine
>Clicking the button you listen in
>’You have: 1 New Message’
>”HYPE!”
>You nearly jump back in surprise
>”Why aren’t you answering your phone?”
>It’s Raven. and she sounds kind of peeved
>”Go to the store and pick me up some premium cherry ice cream after work. PREMIUM! And uh, oh! And pickles! Make sure they’re dill!”
>You’ll never understand pregnancy cravings
>”And you better not come home without them!”
>The message abruptly ends with the slamming of the phone

>>27332487
Welp, looks like we're heading to the store.

>>27332487

We're done work, right? We better hurry up and get the Premium ice cream and pickles. Don't want to keep the love of our life waiting.

>>27332487
Hey, there's a P-Mart on the way back from work, isn't there?

>>27332487
might as well shop for other things since we're heading for the store. like cereal, eggs, oven bake pizza.

>>27332569
And some fruit maybe.

>>27332582
always fruit

probably for the best we didnt get to buy it immediately, we have to make sure our chaos emerald is bigger than the one pin prick got.

>Sighing, you flick off the light, exiting the cubicle
>Guess you’re heading to the store. At least Ponemart is on the way home
>Punching out you trot out the building, heading off into the evening down the sidewalk
>Passing the bus stop you keep moving, headed straight for the store a couple of blocks away
>While you’re there you might as well get some other groceries. Maybe some cereal, eggs, oven bake pizza
>A-and maybe a little fruit for yourself
>Finally approaching the store you see an elderly customer exiting, politely holding the door open for her as she walks out
>”Oh, you’re such a gentlebat!”
“Y-you too”
>Scooting past her you head inside, hooves clipping on the white tile floor
>A cherry colored pegasus mans the register, lazily blowing bubbles with her gum as she pays you no mind
>Walking on by you immediately find the coveted dill pickles, scooping them into your basket
>Now for some premium cherry ice cream
>Heading through the isles you make the all too familiar trip to the freezers, testament of Raven’s love of ice cream
>”Let me guess, Raven sent you?”
>Craning your neck a white unicorn stands down the aisle, his neat work vest reading ‘security manager’
“Gar!”
>You quickly gallop to your friend, the stallion chuckling
>”Sometimes I regret saving you from that witch. Getting carried off by squirrels seems like a better fate than marriage”
“Y-you promised not to bring that up anymore”
>He just smirks, giving you a friendly bat on the shoulder

>>27332813
>He just smirks, giving you a friendly bat on the shoulder
I don't know if Raven is okay with pets. Even friendly ones.

>>27332813
>put a bat on our shoulder
say hi to the little guy and ask gar where he got it (har har)
tell gar she's great one you get to know her. she kisses you good night and says she loves us. We're pretty happy.

>>27332813
I figured by this point Gar had already moved away from the city. Anywho, tell him our plans to properly propose and have a wedding. He's got to be our best stallion.

>>27332821
Well, she already keeps one bat around.

>>27332915
she also said we're the only bat for her.

>You look at the little bat, perched neatly on your shoulder
“H-hey there little guy”
>It merely screeches at you
“so uh, where’d you find this thing?”
>”Oh him? He was flying around in the storage room, kept trying to get at the mango shipment. Figured he should be with his own kind”
“I don’t know if Raven is okay with pets. Even friendly ones”
>”Oh come on, she already puts up with one already!”
“Well, you do have a point…”
>The bat blinks a couple times, unmoving as it clings to you
“Anywaaaay… Raven is great when you get to know her. She even kisses me goodnight and says she loves me!”
>”Hype she tried to kill you with a bumper car!”
“Th-that’s in the past now. She hasn’t done that in months”
>He gives you an unconvinced look
“But speaking of Raven, I’m finely going to properly propose to her. And we’re gonna have a perfect wedding!”
“Well I wish you the best of luck, you’re gonna need it”
>Your hoof scuffs on the floor innocently, a dopey grin on your face
“W-well, I was actually wondering… would you be the best stallion?”
>”Me? A best stallion?”
“Sure! You’re my best friend!”
>“Well I’m moving away in about a month, it’ll have to be soon”
“I’ll try to set it up as fast as I can, promise”
>He ponders it for a moment, blue eyes peering to the ceiling in thought
>”Tell you what, me and a couple of the guys are gonna hangout after work later this week. Why don’t you come along and we could talk it over?”
“Oh, well I don’t know if Raven would approve. She doesn’t like it when I get home lat-“
>”Come on Hype, I’m moving away! Surely she’d let you come”

>>27333132
he is the reason we're currently together, and that hype is alive. so yes, she should understand that we want to spend as much time as we can with him and say good bye.

>>27333132
We can convince her. After all, she was missing her friends too.

>>27333132
yeah, im sure she'll understand.

Fuck I just now got it. Witches like bats and Raven likes Hype and... yeah. That's funny.

“I’m sure she’ll understand. I mean, you’re the whole reason that we’re together… and that she didn’t murder me”
>”You sure? I know clingy she can be”
“Positive! I’ll convince her, you’ll see”
>”Well alright. I’m counting on you”
>He begins to trot away, looking back
>”Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get back to watch the store. Damn teenagers keep stealing those Kevlar infused condoms. Come find me if you need anything!”
>With that he disappears around the corner, trotting out of view
>Turning to the little bat on your shoulder you give him a smile
“Come on. Let’s get some groceries”
>Going about your business you collect most of the items
>Pizza, cereal, eggs… some mangoes
>Your new friend tried to snatch them from you, but you reassured him that he can have some when you get home
>Now all that’s left is the ice-cream
>Moving to the back of the store your fur stands on end as the temperature drops, the freezers chilling the air
>Your bat friend screeches in protest
“There there, we’ll be out of here in a second. Just need to find some premium cherry ice cream”
>Let’s see now
>Ah! Here’s the cherry ice cream
>Your eyes dart around, trying to find the premium
>…
>Oh no
“M-maybe there’s some over here?”
>You look on the next rack, breathing a sigh of relieve
“Here we go, premium cherry… sherbet”
>Your eyes go wide, knees nearly buckling
>Desperately snapping your head this way and that you can’t find premium cherry ice cream

>>27333496
M-maybe some other store has it.

>>27333496
ask gar if they have some in the back, maybe they didn't restock recently? we just any store employee.
we should also ask for pickles.

>>27333496
We need to ask Gar if they have any in the back.

>>27333496
c-check the backroom?

“M-maybe it’s in the backroom?”
>Galloping down the aisle your hoofies nearly trip as you skid around the corner, locating the white unicorn staring at the mango shelf
“GAR!”
>He jumps, whizzing around
>”I-I wasn’t going to eat the- oh Hype”
>You breathes a sigh of relief
“Gar, where’s the premium cherry ice cream?!”
>Grabbing his chest tuft you desperately shake him
“Tell me it’s in the back! TELL ME!”
>”Woah woah slow down there!”
>You release your grip, nearly trembling
>”What do you need?”
“Premium cherry ice cream! There’s cherry ice cream, and premium cherry sherbet. But no premium cherry ice cream!”
>Your wings begin to fidget, the bat on your shoulder kekekeing due to the excitement
>Gar merely stands there, scratching the back of his neck
>”Uh, yeeeeah. Our shipment hasn’t come in yet”
“N-no problem. I’m sure another store has it, r-right?”
>”Hype, I’m pretty sure most other places have closed down by now. You know that PoneMart has extended hours”
>Your eye twitches, ears folding backwards
>You feel like you’re about to pass out

>>27333786
Oh God, I'm gonna get cursed

>>27333786
It's fine, when will the shipment be here? We'll just fall asleep somewhere and wait for it to arrive.

>>27333819
We can't do that either. We can't leave Raven alone at home, she'll just get madder

>>27333839
aren't her friends there right now?

>>27333845
probably not tonight, since we promised to help set it up

>>27333786
Gar please. Where do the shipments come from?
Where's the nearest Ponemart from here?

>>27333845
She said she'd give them a call today. I don't think they're over right now, but it's possible.

>>27333786
We have to get the next best thing and hope we don't die. Or worse.

are there any other ponemarts in town? can gar call other stores to check stock?

>As your legs turn to jelly you reach out, propping yourself up against a shelf
>A white light begins to overtake you, a voice calling out in the distance
>”Hype? Hype you ok man?”
“I’m gonna get cursed…”
>”What? Why?”
“Raven NEEDED that ice cream. And it’s not here!”
>”Clam down Hype, we’ll fix this! As a PoneMart manager I must ensure that every customer is satisfied”
“You don’t understand Gar, you just don’t understand. She’ll curse me the moment I walk in the door!”
>”Oh come on, how bad could it be?”
“I don’t want to live in the gerbil cage again! I mean, the exercise wheel was cool, but still!”
>“I-it’s gonna be ok. Just take it easy”
“Please Gar, when’s your next shipment? I need to know!”
>”Uh, in couple days I think”
“N-no…”
>”I’m sorry Hype. We had some earlier, I swear! Must have just sold out”
>As you begin to hyperventilate Gar goes galloping off through the aisles
>”Hang on buddy, I’ll find out what day it comes!”
>Slumping onto the floor you start to consider your options
>You could bring her the next best thing. Maybe she’ll go easy on you?
>Either that or you hang out in Ponemart for a couple days
>As you grovel on the floor a cart casually goes by you, an older mare pushing it
>You initially ignore it, preferring to focus on your impending doom
>But a certain tub in the cart catches your eye
>Premium cherry ice-cream!
>Shooting back to all fours the bat on your shoulder is nearly thrown off, clinging to your fur
>The mare continues to walk down the aisle with her cart, totally oblivious to you

>>27333869
Would that be the cherry icecream or the premium cherry sherbert?

>>27334100
cherry ice cream with "premium" written on it or premium cherry sherbert with "sherbert" crossed out

>>27334098
Approach her politely and say "Excuse me ma'am, I don't mean to be a bother but my fiance has been experiencing some pretty heavy cravings and shes asked for the premium cherry icecream, unfortunately there is none left in stock but i see you have one in your buggy, Could you maybe help me out? I'd be willing to pay for a regular cherry icecream in exchange for having that one"

>>27334128
'pregnancy cravings' not just cravings.

Let's just eat a bunch of premium cherries and cum inside her mouth.

>You nearly lunge forward, sprinting towards her
>But you quickly collect yourself, pausing
>You are a gentlebat. This requires politeness
>Taking a deep breath you casually trot over, making sure that you don’t sneak up behind her
>Flashing her your trademark smile you introduce yourself
“Hello mam”
>She gives you a gentle grin back as she nonchalantly grabs a loaf of bread, tossing it in the cart
>”Oh, hello there. Can I help you?”
"Well, I don't mean to be a bother but my fiancé has been experiencing some pretty heavy preganancy cravings and she’s asked for the premium cherry ice-cream, unfortunately there is none left in stock”
>She nods, waiting for you to continue
“But I see you have one in your buggy, Could you maybe help me out? I'd be willing to pay for a regular cherry ice-cream in exchange for having that one"
>Her eyes flick down to the tub, then to you, a hint of guilt in them
>”Oh, well I’d like to help you sir, but it’s my foals birthday, and he really wanted this. But I’m sure your fiancé will understand”
“I-I don’t think she will”
>”Oh nonsense. Pregnancy cravings can be a little odd, but it’s not like I put a curse on my husband or anything when I was having them”
>She begins to laugh, you nervously chuckling with her
>”But I wish you the best of luck!”
>She starts to push the cart forward again, moving down the aisle

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>>27334399

>>27334399
Ma'am, I'll pay you double the price of that icecream.

Pausing

>>27334461
Let's just buy non-premium and put it all in a bowl as soon as we get home.

>>27334473
Won't she be able to tell the difference? She might have some sort of witch sense...

sherbert is just low fat icecream right? maybe we can buy premium sherbert and whipping cream to make up those missing fat calories.

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>>27334606
>Sherbet and whipped cream

>>27334633
What? literally the only difference is 2%MF vs 10%+

>>27334399
I'll pay you double. Triple!

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boop

Poor Hype how long will he be subjected to this torture.

>>27335365
dum hors

Hype needs to find a way to become immune to curses.

Are there any other stores in town that might carry premium cherry? Even a corner store that sells it at like 10$ per cup?

Death is faar better than marriage

>>27334399
you can just tell the foal they didn't have any at the store and that you'll get them something else. Why do they need it so soon?

Raven please take me up into your kingdom of torture.

>>27336922
>Why do they need it so soon?
>it's my foal's birthday

baby bump

>>27337788

>>27334399
We still need to buy a jar of dill pickles, let hope they at lest have those.

>>27338837
>Walking on by you immediately find the coveted dill pickles, scooping them into your basket

>>27339018
Well we has half of what raven requested, so the curse can't be too bad.

Let's ask for a bowlful and just give raven slightly melted ice cream.

what if we buy premium vanilla, premium cherry's and a premium blender.

>You stand up on your hind hooves, pulling at your mane in distress
>You need that ice cream!
>Either that or you’ll be making some from scratch
>Galloping back over to her you try to lay on that old Hype charm
“P-please mam, you don’t understand!”
>”Sir, I already told you that my foa-“
“I’ll pay you double, no, TRIPLE for that ice-cream!”
>”Hmmm”
>She looks down at the tub, pondering
>”Well, every mother has her price”
“Y-you mean it?”
>”Sure. I’ll just get him a regular tub and say it’s premium, not like he’ll ever know”
“EEEEE!”
>You hop into the air, flapping your wings as you do a flip in place
>Sticking the landing you’re quick to pull out your wallet, exchanging the money for the precious tub of frozen cow juice
>As the mare walks away with the cart you can’t help but rub it, knowing how close to disaster you were
>”Hype! Hype!”
>A panicked Gar comes running over
>”The next shipment isn’t do for three days! But here, take this!”
>He shoves a piece of paper into your hoof
>”It’s a one way bus ticket out of town! If you leave now you could be out of the state by dawn. I’ll tell Raven that you died in a band marching accident!”

>>27341174
No, it's okay! It's all okay! I got the ice cream!

>>27341174
I got the ice cream but
C..can I save the ticket anyway if another thing happens?

Gars a good friend.

>>27341174
damn, that's a good back up plan.

>>27341174
It's okay Gar, I got some off a nice lady!
... can I keep the ticket anyway?

>>27341174
Now that we have what we need we should get home ASAP.

“No, it's okay! It's all okay! I got the ice cream!”
>”R-really?”
“Yeah, some nice lady let me have it! Everything’s going to be just fine!”
>”Oh that’s a relief”
>He reaches out for the ticket but you quickly nudge it away
“M-maybe I could just hold onto this? You know, just in case?”
>He nods in solemn understand
>”Take it, it’s all yours my friend”
“You’re the best Gar. But I’ve got to get home, like now!”
>As you gallop to the register he yells behind you
>”Don’t forget to ask Raven about hanging out!”
“I will!”
>Nearly crashing into the register you throw your wallet on the counter as the mare checks you put, paying for the groceries
>And the ice-cream. Again.
>Without even specifying if you wanted paper or plastic you tear out the door, wings unfurling
>Climbing into the air you beat your little wings as fast as they can go, tie whipping in the wind
>After a frantic flight you touch down on your front step, covered in sweat
>Pushing the door open with your last bit of energy you slink inside, panting
>Raven’s head pops up from the couch
>”There you are! Do you know what time it is?"
>You merely hobble into the living room, dropping the groceries where you stand
"Well? What the heck took you?!”

>>27341693
I'm sorry dear, I stayed late at work, but then I had to stop by the store to get your food. They were out, but I just managed to get some.

>>27341693
Sorry, I had to fight for the last tub of premium cherry ice cream.

>>27341693
you said not to come home until we got pickles and ice cream so we looked for pickles and ice cream.

>>27341693
some mare thought she could have the last tub of icecream, but I took care of that.

>>27341693
If only Hype were more like the Postal Dude.

>>27341693
It's at this moment the bat pokes out of our mane and makes cute bat squeaky noises.

>>27341693
Also we might have a pet bat now.

>You raise a hoof, taking a minute to catch your breath as Raven glares, her stare drilling into your very soul
>No really, you think you can feel her trying to take your soul
>Panting finally stopped, you answer your love
“Well, you said not to come home until we got pickles and ice cream, so I didn’t come home until I had pickles and ice cream”
>”You got off work over an hour ago! You better have a good explanation why it took so long”
“Honey please, I had to bargain with a mare for the last tub of premium cherry ice cream”
>”Oh really now?”
“Yes! I refused to let it get away!”
>Raven continues to give you a dangerous glare, but slowly seems to soften up
>That is until her eyes flick upwards
>”And just what the heck is THAT?”
>Peering upwards you feel something shift around on your head
>A second later the little bat pokes out of your mane, screeching

>>27342090
Oh. It's a bat. Gar gave him to me.

>>27342090
Gar put him on my shoulder as a humorous homonym. Allow me to explain, he meant to give me a bat on my shoulder, but he really gave me a bat!

>>27342090
We forgot we had that. It's a bat, who is really nice and cute! Say hi to Raven little guy. smart too. I guess he was a "gift" from gar.We should give a name.

>>27341785
The one in postal 2 or the one in 3? Cause the one from the first one is a crazy psycho, and the one in the movie is very OOC

>>27342137
2.
3 doesn't exist, as far as I'm concerned.

>>27342113
Let's name him... Reymond.

“Oh, I forgot all about him”
>”How exactly did you forget about a bat in your mane? And where’d you even get that thing?”
“Gar put him on my shoulder as a humorous homonym”
>Her eyebrow merely raises
“ Allow me to explain. He meant to give me a bat on my shoulder, but he really gave me a bat! Like a mammal bat!”
>You burst out laughing, unable to contain yourself from your own joke
>Raven just stares unamused
“Uh… anyway. He’s really nice though. Say hi to Raven little guy!”
>It starts to kekeke right on top of your head, you giving Raven an excited grin as he does
>”So, what exactly are you gonna do with it?”
“I don’t know… we should give him a name!”
>She waves a hoof dismissively, greedily floating over the groceries with her magic
>”I'd say that you have a little more experience with bats than I do. You name it"

>>27342359
Doggo

>>27342359
Well, he's our Bud so we should name him Dank.

>>27342359
I guess we'll just keep him as a pet. It's not like he takes up a lot of space or will eat a lot of food. And he just sits on our head.
can't think of a good name so going with happy. because he likes to go kekeke

>>27342359
Doggo

>>27342359
Doggo

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>>27342359
JUST

The hell is a Doggo?

>>27342504
A winged doggo is a bat.

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>>27342504
Doggo

>>27342513
This anon presents a compelling argument. A winged doggo is indeed a member of Chiroptera, and as such is the correct name.

“Hmmm”
>You reach up, grabbing the little creature attempting to make a home out of your mane
>It wriggles in your hooves a little, wings flapping, but it soon clams down, eyes blinking at you
>Well, he is your little bud. Maybe you could call him dank?
>No, that’s too stereotypical
>Think Hype, think!
>Looking at the bat’s face you note his adorable little nose and fuzzy ears
>Kind of reminds of a flying dog
>Wait, that’s it!
“Doggo!”
>”What did you say?”
“Doggo. We’ll call him Doggo”
>”That’s a dumb name”
“Well I like it!”
>Doggo gives you another screech before hopping out of your hoof, flapping away
>He quickly glides up to the ceiling, grabbing a nice rafter to roost on
>Satisfied that your little friend enjoys his name you trot over to the couch, Raven already tearing into the food
>Reaching around she grabs a pickle, using it as a scoop in the ice-cream before munching on it
>Pregnancy is gross
>As she chews she finally notes your presence
>”So… how was work?”
>Before you can answer another ice cream coated pickle is in her mouth

>>27342732
A little bit tiring, I was thinking of turning in early tonight.

Other than that, pretty good.


I say we don't mention the chaos emerald until we know we can get it.

>>27342751
and then we mention it by dropping to a knee.

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>>27342751
We'll have to get hanging out with Gar somewhere in there.

>>27342867
I love you.

boop

bat

>>27343670
beep

Butt

>>27345151
Raven's butt

>>27345151
big butt

>>27346153
Slutty butt.

>>27342732
we had to drink coffee to stay up since we stayed up so late last night.

we need to take doggo to the vet won't we?

“A little bit tiring. I was actually thinking about turning in early tonight”
>”Stressful day?”
“Well, I had to drink a lot of coffee. I was up kinda late drying the ceiling”
>Her cheeks turn a shade of pink
>”O-oh. Well I saw on the home and health channel that it the key to a happy household is a clean ceiling”
“Uh, well I guess if they said it on TV…”
>”But other than that, how was work?”
“The same as usual, just organized a few boxes of gems”
>”You work with that stuff every day and you’ve never handled a chaos emerald? “
>You sheepishly grin, trying to sound casual
“Y-yeah. Guess they’re that rare”
>She scoops more ice-cream into her mouth
>”They aren’t easy to find, that’s for sure”
>Placing the tub of ice-cream on the floor sure turns to you just a little more
>”I called up the girls today, they’re coming over tomorrow evening”

>>27349506
sounds like it's going to be fun. Ask her if you can hang out with gar.

>>27349506
Who would buy or sell a chaos emerald anyway? Just so I know where to start shopping around. I'd hate to have to start my search at a library looking up what they even are for.

>>27349506
Good, now we can bring up going to see Gar.

>>27349623
we got Pin Pricks husband, he knows apparently

>Hey, this seems like a good time to bring up Gar
“Well that sounds great dear, I’m sure it’ll be fun. Need me to help set up?”
>”Nah, they’ll be here before you’re off work anyway”
“Well alright then, hope you have fun with your friends. And speaking of friends, do you mind if I hang out with Gar in a couple of days?”
>”He tried to convince you to kill me last year”
“Well, yeah… but he’s the reason we’re together now!”
>She taps her hoof, looking off into the distance
>”Well, I guess so. But you better not come back wasted!”
“Raven, I haven’t drank in months”
>”What about that mango cider?”
“Th-that doesn’t count”
>”If you guys go to the tavern, don’t you dare look at other mares. If the bartender is a mare I want you to sit facing away from the bar”
“I uh… sure dear”
>”Good”
>She confidently smiles, picking up the ice-cream once more
>”So you said this was the last tub they had?”
“Sure was! I wasn’t going to leave without it!”
>”Thank you dear… but you messed up on the pickles”
“Wh-what?”
>She floats the jar over, turning the label towards you
>”I asked for dill. These are SOUR dill”
“But… it’s still dill”
>”You’ve failed me Hype”
>Her horn glows a menacing purple hue, you putting up your hooves in defense
“Raven please!”
>That’s all you get off before a zap of electricity hits you, your body feeling tingly

>But the feeling soon passes, your eyes slowly opening
>Huh. You didn’t explode
>You also are still in the same dimension
>Body looks the same… maybe she was just pulling your leg?
>Raven merely looks at the TV, paying you no mind
>Trotting off in confusion you head to the bathroom
>You drank way too much coffee
>As you enter the room you lift up the lid, relieving yourself
>A moment later you trot over to the sink, squirting soap onto your hooves as you smile into the mirror
>…Wait
>Coking your head to the side you observe your smooth looking ears
>Your ear tufts! Your precious ear tufts! >They’re missing!

>>27350003
yell out "nooo" check wings.

>>27350003
t-they grow back, right?

>>27350003
Not again!

>>27350003
Scream at the top of your bat lungs kekekekeke

“Noooo!”
>You nearly fall backwards as you whiz around, trying to check your wings
>They’re still there… for now
>Shakily turning back to the mirror you rub a hoof on your now tuft-less ears
“Not again…”
>At least when that griffon mauled you she only snipped off one!
>Holding back the tears you begin to wallow in emotion
>What good is a bat without tufts? You’ll lose your job for sure!
>Then you’ll have to turn to a life of crime. You can’t survive in jail! You’re too soft!
>And then you’ll only be able to communicate with Raven through a phone behind a glass barrier
>Realizing your imminent fate you fall back on your plot, screeching up to the heavens
“KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE!”
>Doggo swoops into the room, screeching like a mad bat as he flies laps around you
>Together you kekeke, unsure of your futures
>”… Are you quite done?”
>Doggo does another lap around your head as you look in the doorway, Raven giving you a neutral look

>>27350305
yes. Ask for her to please give back your ear tufts.

>>27350305
Give them back!

>>27350305
sad keke while gesturing at your missing tufts

>>27350305
A bat is only as good as his tufts.

>>27350684
and ours only recently grew back, we cant do that again.

>You look to her with wide eyes, hooves frantically flailing around your head
>Raven just darkly smirks
>”What’s wrong dear?”
>Finally getting a grip you point to your ears
“Kekeke!”
>Doggo follows up your remarks with another well thought out screech
>”Aw dear, I can’t understand you”
“R-raven, please… give them back”
>”Give what back?”
“My tufts! Please, I just finally regrew the left one, I can’t go through that again!”
>”Oh come on dear, it’s just overgrown hairs”
“It’s more than that! A bat’s only as good as his tufts!”
>”And a witch is only as good as her curses”
>You feebly slump to the floor, groveling
“Raven, you don’t understand. I just can’t go tuft-less. I-it’s not natural”
>She stares down to you, an indecisive look on her muzzle
>”I don’t know Hype, you did mess up pretty bad with those pickles”
“Pickles can be bought at the store, tufts can’t!”
>”Hmmmm. Alright”
“Really?”
>”But you’re going to have to make it up to me”
“H-how?”
>”I’m sure you’ll think of something. But let all that be a warning to you”
>With another zap of her horn your body jolts
>But when you reach up and pat your ears, the coveted tufts have returned in full size

>>27350871
EEEEEE. Thanks Raven. Now let's make ourselves something to eat and then we can fall asleep. Make sure to feed doggo too.

>>27350871
gently comb tufts back into their proper position and vow to always read the labels going forward.

But seriously, bed time for batties. especially if they're coming over tommorow.

>>27350871
God damn I love Doggo. He just understands us on deeper level, ya'know?

>You ‘EEEE’ in excitement, causing Doggo to begin circling the room again
“Thank you Raven!”
>”Hey, it’s no problem dear”
>She leans in, giving you a tender kiss
>”And tufts or not, you’re still my Hype”
>Trotting out of the room she leaves you and your little buddy alone, the bat landing on your shoulder
>Yawning, you realize just how tired you are
“Whelp, bed time for batties”
>Turning to the mirror you pull out a comb, neatly combing the tufts into their proper positions
>Once you are satisfied you vow to use this as a lesson to always read the pickle jar labels properly
>Doggo shifts on your shoulder, peering at you
“Come on, let’s get you something to eat”
>Just then your stomach growls
“And maybe a bedtime snack for me”
>Flicking off the light to move to the kitchen, digging through the grocery bag
>But you soon find what you’re looking for
>A ripe mango is lifted from the bag, being placed on the table
>Every once in a while you like to get yourself a little treat from the store
>Turning your back your hoof retrieves a plate from the cabinet, excitedly placing it on the table
>Your heart sinks, eyes widening
“My mango!”
>The fruitless table lies before you
>Looking around in desperation you nearly panic
>That is until you hear wings rustling
>Looking up Doggo is hanging from the ceiling
>In his wings he holds your missing fruit, munching away

>>27351175
Cut out a chunk for doggo.
We need to share the fruit.

>>27351175
C'mon doggo, we need to share.

>>27351175
Either we're a team or a we're not Doggo. Do you wanna be a bat flying solo when Ravens friends get here, or do you want to be a united front?

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>>27351246
I love you

>>27351246
I love you more than that other guy.

Doggo pls

>>27351257
>>27352218
I love you both

>>27355657
Y-you too.

>>27353163

>>27359539
nice bat pony

>You fold your arms in slight annoyance, making sure to use a firm, yet friendly tone
“C'mon Doggo, we need to share the fruit”
>The bat pauses for a moment, peering down to you
>And promptly begins to engorge himself again
“Come on man, there’s too much for one little bat anyway”
>He doesn’t seem to pay any attention, tiny tongue lapping at some juice dripping down the fruit
>Such an unruly bat
>Time for another tactic you suppose
>Placing yourself directly under the fruit thief a juice droplet splashes onto the tile floor
“Either we're a team or a we're not Doggo”
>He briefly pauses his snacking once more, tongue licking his juice spattered snout
“Do you wanna be a bat flying solo when Ravens friends get here, or do you want to be a united front? Because I’ve heard Raven talking on the phone with her friends before, and apparently bat wings are used in several potions”
>Upon saying that the bat freezes, little eyes growing wider
>Giving a glance between you and the fruit, his wings let go
>Holding a hoof out the mango plops into it, it’s skin marked with plenty of nibbles

>>27360812
There's a good doggo. Now we split this equally based on caloric daily value needs. I know it seems unfair, but you're much smaller than me.

>>27360830
I can just picture Hype having a set of books detailing all that.

“There’s a good Doggo”
>The bat lets go of the ceiling, gracefully gliding down to the table, giving his wings a quick flap before landing
>But as you turn to put the mango on the plate he begins screeching
“Now now Doggo, you’ll get a piece”
>You reach over and pull out a thick book, dropping it on the table, Doggo bouncing from the impact
“Now we split this equally based on caloric daily value needs. I know it seems unfair, but you're much smaller than me”
>Flipping open the book you go through the pages
“Let’s see… mango… mango… ah, here we go!”
>Scanning the text, you pull out a knife
“The average mango has 201 calories. However, his one seems to be slightly juicer than normal. But you did take a few bites out of it, so I’ll have to factor that in”
>Rubbing your chin you do the math
“So that should work out to about… 201 calories!”
>Hovering the knife over the fruit you take a rough estimation on Doggo’s caloric needs vs yours
>Cutting out a nice piece you push it over to your little friend
>He promptly starts screeching and throwing a fit

>>27361357
just cut it 40/60. next time we're getting two mangos so we don't have to do this again.

>>27361357
Doggo pls.
I need this to live.

>>27361357
Doggo, this is the most fair way we can possibly do this.

>>27361357
doggo you already had a nibble, you're getting more then you need!

>>27361357
I pay for it you double pupper
It's only fair I get a 60/40

“Doggo please, I need this to live. And this is the fairest way that we can possibly do this”
>His wings fold in an upset manner, tiny muzzle scrunching
“Come on, you’ve already had some. This is more than you need!”
>He continues to give you a displeased look
>Sighing, you roll your eyes, giving into his demands
>Cutting off just a little more you push it towards him, the bat happily digging in
>Spoiled little guy
>But now that that’s been solved…
>Picking up your portion your fangs dig into the juice fruit, sugary sweetness assaulting your taste buds
>No wonder your ancestors used to kill for these
>You greedily dig in, but even then you are not a savage
>Placing the fruit back on the plate you gently pat your muzzle with a napkin before continuing
>Table manners are the corner stone of society
>10 minutes later you throw the cleanly licked mango core away, washing the plate
>Doggo roosts up on the ceiling, snoring peacefully
>You’re honestly not sure how he was able to fly after eating that much fruit
>Trotting out of the kitchen you look back to your new friend, quietly ‘kekekeing’ with every breath
“Goodnight Doggo. Sweet dreams”
>And with that you flick off the light
>Yawning you head to bed, feeling the tiredness begin to kick in as your mango high subsides
>Walking in you Find Raven lying in bed, reading a novel by the light of her nightstand lamp
>Crawling under the sheets you collapse back onto the pillow with a sigh
>”You know Hype, I thought we agreed no pets. Are you sure having that little guy in here is such a good idea?”

>>27361833
Off course

>>27361833
Of course. He's not going to hurt anypony. We just need to keep our fruit in bat-proof places.

Maybe a cage for when we're not home so he doesn't do his business on the carpet.
He and I share a lot of the same needs, I think keeping a bat will be good practice for a foal.

>>27361833
He seems nice enough.
Besides, now you'll always have some company while I'm out.

>>27361890
>We just need to keep our fruit in bat-proof places.
Hype later died of malnutrition

>>27361833
Would he be better off on the street? I didn't expect to get him, but i feel responsible for him now.

“Of course! He seems nice enough”
>”Are you sure? I don’t want a trouble maker in the house”
“Positive, he's not going to hurt anypony. We just need to keep our fruit in bat-proof places”
>”I don’t know Hype, one bat around here is enough”
“Would he be better off on the street? I didn't expect to get him, but I feel responsible for him now”
>”Well, maybe not on the street, but isn’t there like a bat shelter around here or something?”
“We can get him a cage for when we’re not home, that should be good enough”
>”But are we ready for a pet bat? Usually I just use them in potions”
“D-don’t joke about that”
>She chuckles, turning the page in her book
“Besides, he and I share a lot of the same needs. I think keeping a bat will be good practice for a foal”
>”… I see no possible way in which that would help”
“Oh you know, if we can care for him, we’ll know that we can care for a foal!”
>”Well… alright, he can stay. For now”
>Your wings rustle in excitement
“Thanks Raven, you’re the best”
>”Oh please, I know it. It’s be nice to have some company around here during the day too”
>Your mind flashes to Raven forcing Doggo to watch day time shopping network programs with her
>It’s not a pretty sight
>”But let’s just make one thing clear Hype. If that bat makes a mess, your ear tufts will be the price”

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>>27362198
Y-yes dear.

>>27362198
O-oh.

>>27362198
Y-yes Raven. I'll be sure to clean up after him.

>>27362198
NOT MY EAR TUFTS!
Also he's been very good so far.

“NOT MY EAR TUFTS!”
>You quickly cover your mouth, stopping your outburst
“I-I mean, yes dear”
>”Good. Glad we have an understanding”
“I’ll be sure to clean up any mess he makes”
>”You better, because I’ll know!”
“No worries, he’s been very good so far”
>”I hope he stays that way for your sake”
>Raven finally shuts her book, leaning over to switch off the light
>”Night dear, love you”
>A nice kiss is planted on your lips before she curls up in the blanket
>Closing your eyes you almost immediately pass out, Raven still rustling to find a good position as you drift off
>…
>Hitting the alarm you roll out of bed same as always, ready for another great day work
>You slept like a baby last night and feel totally recharged
>Excitedly heading out of the bedroom you go to check up on your new friend, wondering what to feed him for breakfast
“Good morning Doggo, how’d you slee…. oh no”
>You stand there, staring into the living room
>The living room lamp lies on the floor, smashed

>>27362598
Overnight earthquakes, the silent lamp killer.

>>27362598
Doggo, what have you done?
We need to fix this now!

>>27362598
Is Raven still sleeping? Make sure not to be too loud if she is.

>>27362841
qt

>>27362841
tie 2 adorable

>>27362841
das it mane

>M-maybe it was an overnight earthquake? They’re known to kill lamps!
>Cautiously moving closer you bend down, observing the fallen appliance
>”KEE!”
>You jump back in surprise, a bat jumping up from the battered lamp shade
“Doggo, what have you done?! We need to fix this now!”
>He takes to the air, circling around the room
>It’s obvious that he doesn’t understand the urgency of the situation
>Turning your attention back to the lamp you pick it up in your hooves, a couple shards falling on the carpet
>It’s broken in half, a few small chunks broken off here and there
>The lamp shade is bent awkwardly too
>Looking at the clock you find that you have a bit of time before work
>Alright, you might be able to glue this thing back together
>But would Raven know? You’re not sure if she’d be oblivious to a repaired lamp
>But your other option is to throw it away
>She’s never really expressed interest in the thing, maybe she’ll just kind forget about it until you buy another?
>Lifting an ear you deploy your hypersensitive hearing
>Gentle snores can be heard from the bedroom

>>27362841
o shit
Correct me if I'm wrong, but is this Nips?

>>27363053
this is indeed nippers