Hm?

Fake and Gay

>>27284653
Honestly it is so little what is the point.

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>>27284653
THIS GAY LETS HAVE THREAD FOR EVA BRAUN

>>27284653
At least it might be a Rainbow Dash-Scootaloo episode.

>>27284653
>hiya scootaloo!
>not hey squirt
dropped.

>>27284816
F A K E A N D G A Y

>>27284653
SHE IS STILL A RESERVE!?

>>27284653
So you are wasting time making fake scripts for episodes that literally going to be aired in 17 hours? Are you literally autistic?

>>27284816
Another one!?

>>27284653
So will RD actually become a wonderbolt or be left as a reserve?

>>27284816
>Sweetie Belle being an idiot.

>>27284653
One page in and it's already shit.

>>27284847
Doesn't seem fake to me.

So the Weather Patrol is kinda like the Air National Guard of Equestria?

>>27284874
What else is she supposed to be?

>>27284653
Where is page 2?

>>27284653
Let me guess:

You wrote that with google docs and went to Office Depot to get it printed, just to try to "trick" a bunch of neet neckbeards in an imageboard that you have an official script of a show for little girls?

>>27284816
>newfag writer
>knowing who Cheerilee is
fake

>>27284925
that script would only be possible if the new writer would actually post that. But he doesn't even have a twitter account nor he care about bronies or spoilering his episode. This is 100% fake scipt.

>>27284930
They probably watch the show right?

>>27284944
I hope this isn't one of the Spike episodes this season, please just have it be the other CMC episode.

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>>27284944
Jesus, kill yourself. At least turn off the autocorrect if you gonna pretend that you're retarded with this weak bait.

>>27284944
Nice fanfic, anon

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>>27284944

>>27284944

>Spike as a substitute teacher

For some reason, I thought of Negima.

>>27284956
he would just describe her as "teacher pony". Don't be foolish.

>>27284944
Stop shilling your scripts here for feedback newfag. You should have sent them to Haber.

>>27284653
This looks somewhat promising at least...

This is just Slashy.

>>27284980
>spike subbing for cheer
i remember having that discussion with anons a while ago. it was an idea that spawned here, and i doubt its real.

>>27284944

How many time until someone get raped?

>>27284983
Spike and Cheerilee know each other, DYEWTS?

>>27284998
Peobably. Or some more obvious autist. Slashy at least got someone taking the bait with fake animatic. This one is just samefagging his "wow it might be legit" comments.

>>27284983
They know each other, don't you remember Secret of My Excess?

>>27285002

happen in the thread with this pic related, then everyone leave and turn into a shit tier /mlp/ exclusive meme >>27275848

>>27285005
Her name in the script is just an information for the storyboard artist. Stop damage controlling your shitty bait script.

>>27285024
it was in a thread discussing what would make a good spike episode, and someone suggested substituting for cheerilie since he studies books constantly with twilight.

>>27284816
>>27284944
This one is definitely Slashy, he was the one posting the scripts and fleshed out ideas.

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>>27284653
Want me to show you my scripts with ayy lmao?

>>27284998
Nah, he tends to be more elaborate with his ruses than this.

>>27285042
He also has an obsession over portraying Spike so that would make sense.

>>27285034
He SAID HER NAME in Secret of My Excess.

>>27284998
If it was Slashy we'd probably have more than one page.

>>27285024

At least those that have better ideas than the actuals MLP episode, specially that fan CMC pet episode.

>>27285056
read the fucking script you autistic fruit, it has nothing to do with Spike, just the fact that writer is writing her name in the description even though it doesn't matter if its cheerilee since they only have one teacher in ponyville and new guy would just describe them as a teacher

>>27285103
That was also Slashy, he may be autistic as fuck and an annoying little shit sometimes, but he knows what he's doing and definitely puts effort into it.

>>27285103
He also has that Outer Starlight episode HE NEEDS TO FUCKING FINISH.

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>>27285103

Sure, nice idea. Super original and not a rip-off of the IDW comics

For everyone saying this is fake....its from the official MLP snapchat, Meghan did this already with the season premiere as well

>>27285103
Link to that pet episode?

>>27285050
Yeah, but he wrote a pretty fun Pinkie/Spike episode about her stealing Spike's favor at a video game club.

>>27285147
Rainbow Dash/Scootaloo episode then, I'm okay with this

>>27285103
>>27285133
>>27285138
>>27285152

Hi slashy

>>27284653
At least we might get some RD/Scootaloo feels in this episode.

>>27285024
those threads were fun, lots of great episode ideas there it is a shame the new writers aren't as good

>>27284653
>Scoot instead of Scootaloo in an action scene.
Why are these typos not fixed? This script just reeks of being poorly composed.

>>27285145
Just because they both involve a pet doesn't make them the same idea.

>>27285145
The two ideas play the plot completely differently from one another.

>>27285145
They're...not?

>>27285138
>inb4 he comes into the thread making another excuse

>>27285274

Fucking This

Comic: The classic pet cliche CMC aren't ready for a pet
Fan: The CMC are the perfect choice for that pet end everyone else act like a jackass

>>27284816
>>27284944
Well this is pretty cute.

Slashy you must stop. This is getting ridiculous.

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>>27284944
You don't deserve those dubs.

>>27285347
To be fair, they are worried that Twilight will take the Wind Wooly away from them to research it. The episode conflict stems from that fear which is proven correct at the conflict.

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>>27285198

>shame the new writers aren't as good

This, this season is filled with newfags, peoples that don't care about the show and pic related

>>27285412

like i said, everyone act like a jackass

>>27285213

Are you honestly surprised, considering how messy some of the newer episodes are?

>>27285433
Yeah, but it isn't necessarily out of character (not sure if you meant that). As recently as Gauntlet of Fire we have seen Twilight get overly emotional whenever the opportunity of doing massive research or discovery is brought to her. This is what the CMC fear and what prompts prompts her to chase after the Wind Wooly. Remember this thing was a myth, so to find out that it actually existed was a breakthrough.

>>27285418
>>27285461
I guess I am just surprised because despite some shortcomings, Slashy probably would be a decent writer, even great compared to the newfag writers we have now. Yet this is the guy who wants us to believe that aliens, crossovers, and powerups are brilliant ideas for the series. Though, after Poof 2.0, maybe those things would be an improvement.

>>27285418
Why are you bullying Big Jim?

>>27285590
At least he is creative, if he could implement those ideas well enough I would love to see them.

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>>27285418
>season so far has been 7/10+
>first great spike episode
ya, shame they suck.

>>27285889
With the exception of the Maud Pie episode (which was written by a duo with actual writing experience) all of these have been from existing writers.

This week has an episode being written by someone who has less than a year of experience.

>>27284653
Fake And Gay

>>27285705

Probably a tsundere anon

>>27285939
stop giving me those 2007 flashbacks

>>27285418
The current writers are fine.

>>27285590
That's because he doesn't seem to give a shit about pandering to the fandom, he just wants to make something that he thinks a little kid would think is cool and cute.

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(Part 2 is coming after I repost part 1)
>Outer Starlight Part 1

The episode begins in the Crystal Empire library where Spike is managing ponies who are setting up comic books on shelves. Starlight asks what Spike is doing, to which he explains that Shining Armor put him in charge as the curator for the soon to be comic book wing. Starlight asks why such a thing would be necessary, Spike explains that you might never know what to do if somepony creates an evil duplicate of you, or some mishap with a spell makes your house want to eat you, or you shrink down to the size of an ant, or you get abducted by aliens. Starlight laughs it off as Spike overreacts to one of the mover ponies not realizing following his ridiculously geeky rules for sorting comics.

The four princesses along with Shining Armor and the mane6 are discussing a series of magical surges happening across Equestria. They determined that according to a pattern the being will strike the Crystal Empire next and she wants to capture the being and prevent it from causing any other magical power surges. Our cast splits up or patrols the area around the Crystal Empire hoping to capture the being as soon as they can. Needless to say the being arrives, and immediately the pegasai lose control of their flying, spells unicorn spells start becoming uncontrollable in terms of output, and crystal apples start growing around Applejack. Amidst this chaos, Starlight manages to locate the creature near the outskirts of the town. Starlight manages to pin the creature with her magic, but it opens a portal that when her combined with her magic causes it to become a vaccum that sucks her in.

>>27286446
Starlight finds herself on what appears to be the creature's home which seems to be a flying mettalic object and comes across the creature going over information on a display. She is completely shocked and angry when she spots pictures of her and her friends on the monitor. She then notices one of the beings giant colored wings, and how similar they are to a pegasus, wondering if a pony is behind all of this. One of wings turns and immediately Starlight notices the wings have faces on them. The wing makes an adorable squeak alerting the being that there is an intruder, and showing Starlight that this is indeed not a pony.

Starlight and the alien both freak out, with the alien panicking that he cannot perform any further research since he has been by one of the subjects. After a moment to calm down, she notices right away that the alien has two giant wings with ridiculous faces on them. He explains they are bonded wing-shaped comrades (named Lift and Rise) and he himself is named Simon, an aspiring intergalactic explorer hoping to discover and research intelligent life across the universe.

Starlight asks what is going on and the alien explains that he has been across Equestria for several days studying the species to learn all he can in the interest of science and possibly so his race may start a peaceful relationship with the Equestrians

>>27286457

Meanwhile back in Equestria, our heroes are worried about the prospect that Starlight might have actually been abducted by an alien. Shining Armor, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Cadance are tasked with trying to keep the Crystal Ponies calm while Sunburst, Pinkie Pie, Twilight and Spike head to the library to figure out a book that might give them any clue on how to get their friend back, Spike immediately goes searching in the comic book section believing that if it really is an alien it's probably going to be extremely difficult to find any help in old history books or guides to Equestria.

Sure enough he finds the answer in a comic book that explains that even after a portal disappears it still likely leaves an energy signature, and if enough magic is blasted at it, they can force it open.

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>>27286468
>Outer Starlight Part 2
On the alien’s ship Starlight Glimmer asks Simon why he was causing all of the magical power surges. Simon looks shocked as he was unaware that he was causing any problems as he was trying to recreate magical energy the ponies were using in Equestria, but however he was unable to create anything using the magic, so he felt that he just needed to generate more energy to compensate, but he over did it. Starlight Glimmer explains that the magic of Equestria is tied to the world and the beings that live there. Starlight explains that he has been causing many problems in Equestria with magical power surges. Realizing the damage he has done, Simon freaks out and tries to immediately set a course back to his home planet with Starlight in tow.
Starlight attempts to use magic Simon, to knock some sense, but accidentally grabs the whole ship. She then struggles to halt the ship in place until Simon agrees to cancel the trip back home. He calms down and sets a course to bring Starlight back down to the surface, and then immediately head back home before any of the ponies decide to take action against him. The Mane Six and Spike come aboard the ship via the portal, almost immediately Twilight attempts to grab Simon with her magic only to send the ship spiraling out of control towards the ground. The crash causes the ship’s engines to shut down and the portal to deactivate.

>>27286482
With our heroes dazed from the crash Simon opens a door and attempts to flee by taking to the skies and having his wings exhale a huge amount of air to simulate a jetpack engine, Simon is almost immediately stopped by Celestia, who keeps him held long enough for her guards to wrap him up and take him away. Starlight tries to explain that Simon is harmless, but no one believes her, thinking that Simon is just trying to appear innocent and scared to gain their trust, but Starlight doesn’t believe he is trying to deceive her. He is taken away and locked up in one of the Crystal Empire dungeons.
At night time Starlight Glimmer manages to free Simon via a remote teleport spell. The two of them manage to escape and get back to his ship. This alerts the guards which in turn alerts her friends. Her friends insist that she is making a mistake and doesn’t know what the alien could be really planning and tries to use the magical energy inside of the ship to generate a force field so he can escape just in time. Once her friends realize how dedicated she is to defending Simon, they back off and apologize.
Simon, grateful that she managed to defend him and that the natives on the planet are capable of trusting him, asks Starlight if she’ll help continue his research on the pony species. She agrees, but asks how she is going to do it, suddenly a bright light emerges from his back and travels over to her. When the light fades, Lift and Rise are now attached to Starlight Glimmer. He offers his goodbye’s to the ponies and hopes to see them again real soon in the future.

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>>27284944

>>27286446
>>27286457
>>27286468
>>27286482
>>27286489
huh?

>>27286482
>>27286489
This is pretty good, it's rushed at the end, but this feels like a legit episode.

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>>27286446
>>27286457
>>27286468
>>27286482
>>27286489

>>27286446
>>27286457
>>27286468
>>27286482
>>27286489
Glad to see you finished it.

Slashy. Stop this nonesense. You can still let it die. All you have to do is to just ... stop.

>>27286446
>>27286457
>>27286468
>>27286482
>>27286489
>Tell your friends not to hurt someone
>Get wings

Not as bad as Twilight completing some nondescript spell.

>>27286623
I wanted him to finish that Outer Starlight story for a while, so you can just fuck off.

>>27286565
I kind of wrote myself into a corner with how I was going to justify the wings. Consider it an enforced story limitation, I mean after all Hasbro would totally want to sell winged Starlight toys.

I wanted to handle the ascension differently than Twilight though. I'm glad it isn't as bad as I thought.

>>27286639
But unlike Twilight she becomes a weird pony-alien hybrid.

>>27285418
It looks like Big Jim cares senpai.

>>27284944
Slashy go back to making animatics instead of giving Starlight wings with faces on them.

>>27286446
>>27286457
>>27286468
>>27286482
>>27286489
Is Simon meant to be a reference to the game?

>>27284653
This is real, it was posted on Meghan's Snapchat.

>>27286838
They are both made by Hasbro, so I thought it was an interesting place to make a tie-in to that product.

>>27286889
Please write more, I love your stuff.

>>27286934
I will, I have a few more ideas. I might even try to write a whole episode script if I can remain focused.

>>27286997
Can't wait.

>>27284653

>>27284944
Hang on, is it Apple Bloom, or Applebloom?

>>27289020
I always thought it was Apple Bloom

>>27284944
What episode is this?

Stop samefagging, Slashy. This is pathetic.

>>27286446
>>27286457
>>27286468
>>27286482
>>27286489
Not a fan of the alien stuff, but it is actually implemented well here all things considered.

>>27284653
It is like you want me to skip today's episode.

>>27286446
>>27286457
>>27286468
>>27286482
>>27286489

This sound like a 10/10 faust tier episode, why hasbro don't hire this guy?

>>27284901
A dictionary

>>27286446
>>27286457
>>27286468
>>27286482
>>27286489
Far cuter ending than I expected

>>27285889
>first great spike episode
>ignoring secret of my excess

>>27284653
As if they would ever reference anything from MMDW. They hate it too.

>>27290569
New writers.

>>27290569
This is real.

>>27290569
they like to reference shit episodes when "making up" for them

Let's see how good this episode is today compared to these unofficial scripts posted here.

>>27284653
ITS REAL

>>27284653
IT IS LEGIT

Legit

>>27284653
It is fucking real...

HOLY SHIT ITS REAL

>>27284653
IT'S REAL

MOTHERFUCKER

>>27284653
oh shit it's real

>>27284653
It is LEGIT!

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just fuck my shit up fampai

SSHIIIEEEETTTTT

>>27291160
Well, it was pretty shit. Pretty sad how the fans have a better grasp of what makes the show compelling compared to the professionals.

>>27284944

IF THE RAINBOW DASH EPISODE WAS LEGIT IS THIS ALSO LEGIT!?

SPIKE TEACHER EPISODE, WILL HE MOLEST THE FILLIES?

>>27293021
Why do you want molestation?

>>27284816
>>27284944
Could this be from an episode later in the season? OPs leak was real.

>>27293021
>Spike and CMC episode
Why hasn't this been done yet?

>>27284759
>>27284847
>>27285939
>You

>>27284653
>It's actually real.
What is this witchraft?

>>27293528
It has happened several times before.

>>27294059
Was it Jim, I bet it was Jim.

Post the link of cloppers lol

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>>27291207

Was always real. But nobody post the real sauce

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>inb4 people will make fake scripts to take advantage of the actual real leak and the autists who will now believe in everything

>>27293021
He prefers cougars. DYEWTS?

>>27294266
It isn't that difficult for most? I have never seen a fake script not look like shit before today.

The first page was the only good one.

>>27284759
>>27285939
BUT GAY IS YOUR POST

The episodes I saw in this thread were better than today's episode.

>>27295125
That's because Haber isn't ruining them.

>>27295285
Like Meghan didn't either.

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>>27284653
>PIC RELATED IS TOTALLY REAL

>>27295719
That doesn't look like a show script

>>27286997
Waiting

>>27295125
Well yeah starting from Return of Harmony the characters act autistic and dumb, incapable of forming a plan on their own and acting elevated around a princess or the social elite.

Plus the plots are just garbage. Probably because of the lack of a plot and the continous improvisation of the script. You're left with autistic dumb characters improvising, bantering and accomplishing nothing.

>>27295822
That's a bit extreme don't you think?

I can't believe somebody actually made the idea of Starlight getting alien wings sound compelling.

>>27295822
Faustfag

>>27286997
Do it.

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>>27285889
>>27290551
>Ignoring Equestria Games
>Ignoring Inspiration Manifestation
>"hur dur, Spike is only good when he's a completely infallible bad-ass hero who saves the day"
I bet you think Celestia and Luna were actually useless in the premier because they weren't the ones doing all the work and saving the day.

I made a new thread for writing stuff.
>>27296547

>>27296522
Also ignoring Just For Sidekicks because apparently Spike can't have faults.

>>27296522
I haven't been lurking this thread, but EQ games and Inspiration Manifestation are my two favorite spike episodes

mainly cuz it confirms that spike is the savior of the crystal empure

>>27296687
How did Inspiration Manifestation do that?

>>27296687
This

>>27286446
>>27286457
>>27286468
>>27286482
>>27286489
How did you learn to write so well?

>>27296699
i was only talking about EQ games. I like the other one cuz of the way rares and spike play off each other

>>27284944
Why do they use "we"?

>>27296687
It's poetic because in the Journal of the Two Sisters, the Crystal Heart was discovered in a Dragon's lair.

>>27297781
Cute

>>27297781
Just re-read it to make sure, and actually, it just says it was found with no mention of how. Princess Amore got her cutie mark by activating its love magic, and it was later stolen by a dragon, which Celestia intimidated into returning.

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>>27298270
No it was discovered in his cave. That's why he 'stole' it. He was reclaiming his property even though he didn't need it, unlike the crystal ponies.

>>27298314
Ah, guess I should've turned the next page. They like telling the story in reverse order, it seems.

What I noticed while flipping through though, as an interesting factoid, was how the Griffon Gregor had lost his last pastry chef. Had to be a reference to the future storyline of Gilda's family business in making pastries.

>>27295719
>not knowing how to write a sound effect in screenwriting

2/10 bad ruse m8

>>27295719

Is this the way they produce the dialogues on IDW?

>>27284816
>>27284944
In case there's anyone who fell for this though I seriously hope no one did, let me be the first to say that there's no way a professional would put out a script like this. Ever.

Page 1
>We see APPLEBLOOM, SWEETIE BELLE, and SCOOTALOO
Nothing inherently wrong, but a little detail. I'll touch on it later.

>(giving a confused look)
Unnaturally wordy for a parenthetical; a professional would just write (confused) and leave it at that

>The school bell rings
Generally sound effects are written in all caps, not technically mandatory but most do it. I'll let it slide

>prompting the all of the young ponies outside to head inside
First off, extra "the." Script readers are harsh mother fuckers, one slip up like that could cost you your job. Also, it's way too wordy. The first rule is to say what you need to say as shortly as possible.

>(facing Scootaloo as they walk inside the schoolhouse)
Again, too long. Parentheticals, more than anything, are supposed to be brief; something that long belongs in an action line. Also, all he had to say was "facing Scootaloo," which would be a perfectly fine parenthetical because we already know they're going inside.

>INT. PONYVILLE SCHOOLHOUSE - SAME
The slugline is unclear, you can't just write "SAME". If there's a time skip between the scenes you have to denote the time of day, like "SAME DAY" or "SAME MORNING." And if there's not a time skip it's still wrong because it should say "CONTINUOUS."

>>27299133
Page 2
>We see Apple Bloom and Scootaloo at their desks...
This line could easily be condensed.
-Apple Bloom and Scootaloo sit at their desks. They sigh in relief, then face each other.
Not only does this shorten the page (which is a good thing), but it also reads more smoothly. Also, the same little detail from the first point, I'll get to that in a bit

>We cut to a shot of the class looking...
Okay, another insultingly bulky line
-The class looks dumbfounded as the new substitute teacher enters.
Old line: 25 words. New line: only 10. Also, "walks in off-screen" makes no sense grammatically. Also, refer to point one.

>We cut to a shot of the front...
Okay, about all those "refer to point one"s I've been throwing out. One of the first things they teach screenwriters is to avoid saying "we see" or "cut to a shot", or things like camera movements or angles because it just sounds weird. It's okay to do sparingly, but only when it's absolutely necessary. Things like POV shots or cutaways are considered acceptable uses, but there's a specific format that this does not follow. In this line, it would be acceptable to specify a shot because it's a reveal, but the three other "We see"s on this page alone would never be accepted.

Either this is fake, which is most likely the case, or it's a very rough first draft that hasn't been proofread at all. Pardon the autism but as a film student I couldn't help it

>>27299133
>>27299158
I based it on screenwriting 101 books and reading episode scripts, some of the things you have pointed out are things I have spotted in show scripts.

>>27299133
>>27299158
I am planning on writing another script for another thread.
>>27296606
Would you mins pointing out the faults in the script I write there as well?

>>27299572
Sure thing, I'll keep an eye out

Apologies if I came off as bitter or salty, I saw it and assumed it was some clever ruseman who wrote it without reading the thread

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>>27300270
I will post in this thread or that one.
I really really want people to not treat my work as unofficial, so I have in the past (though I had posted that script in another thread), tried to do ruses for the sole purpose of forcing viewers to treat it as legitimate.

Since you understand script writing, I want you to treat everything I write as professional as I don't think I deserve any free pass from criticism because it is fanmade.

That's why I am asking, but if you have any ideas for something you would like to see be an episode I will appreciate it.

If both threads get deleted look for this image here.