Satyr Abomination Thread #166

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>>27248444
>[NEEDS UPDATING]
can we work on this?

>>27248467
Depends if there is anyone left in the satyr chat of actual noteworthiness who is still relevant enough to act as a host.

>>27248467
It's just some artists and writers shooting the shit. Rarely do they talk about satyrs. Some don't even visit the thread anymore.

>>27248515
So nothing of value is lost.

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>Do satyrs ever buy lingerie to wear for their significant others? Would they buy it online or in the shop?
>Which satyr is most likely to stay single? Which satyr is most likely to have friends with benefits? Which satyr is most likely to be in a lifelong monogamous relationship? Which satyrs are most likely to be in a polyamorous relationship?

>>27248598
>Which satyrs are most likely to be in a polyamorous relationship?
Polyandry is the norm, so most male satyrs will end up with a harem of about 5 or 6 girls, mostly comprised of their non-human parent species.
Most of the female satyrs will end up in a harem, likely to a male of their non-human parent's species. Being raised by a parent from a predominantly monogamous culture, they'll tend to be more assertive than most of their herd-sisters, and will often be the alpha female of the group.

>>27248719
That and the fact this thread refuses to make more sonfus because "daughterus are cuter", meaning those poor fatheros are gonna have to watch as their daughter is basically begging to be a part of a herd since the m to f ratio is 1:10. Especially those scenarios where contact with Earth is near impossible.

>>27248777
>watch as their daughter is basically begging to be a part of a herd

The guys will beg satys to join, because satyrs are very good at keeping their lessers in line. But they'll also call out the guy if he acts like a fuck, which is quite unusual.
Anon taught his daughterus not to take shit from anyone.

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>>27248444
>>27248467
>Skype
>encouraging out of thread namefag circlejerking

>You completely forgot that your kid's birthday was today
>What do you do?

>>27249445
Commit sudoku because I know how much that hurts

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>>27249445
Splurge on her a little to make up for it, and tell her I was just busy handling her surprise.
I assume daughteru is really young here, so she won't question it too much.

What does Yuzu smell like?

I'm sort of imagining nail polish and that scent you get when you walk into an expensive clothes store.

>>27249862
Cantaloupes and copper.

>>27249862
Bat.

>>27249862
Semen and alcohol.

In the middle of nowhere, close to Appleloosa and Dodge Station, there is old hotel that’s been shut down from poor business named the Salt Block. Two satyrs are on a motorcycle heading straight to it. One is a boy who’s wearing a poncho, a brown stetson, and a bandana with a domino mask to cover his face. The other is a one of the less seen buffalo satyrs, wearing a hood and face paint to hide her face too with a bow and arrows on her back. They see a guard is at the front of it. They pull up to the diamond dog guard. He looks at the two with annoyance more than anything else.

Utah stops the bike completely and tells the guard hi. The Guard tells him to get lost. The satyr pulls out a crowbar from one of his bags and uses it to hook around his neck and pull the dog closer to him.

“I took this from a griffin and his friends who tried to rob a house of someone I care about. I wasn’t happy with him. Last I heard of him was from a nurse I know, she said he still occasionally passes shards of his own ribs when he goes to the bathroom.”

He then grabs him by his neck with his hands, making the dog look right into his eyes.

“From what I heard, you and your gang, The Miner’s League, has taken someone from their home. Me and my friend here don’t care about politics between gangs, so don’t think of justifying this. Now I have a few questions for you.”

The Guard has never been this stressed in his entire life, wondering what in Tartarus is this lunatic and how did he know about any of this. He’s nervous to the point where he’s sweating, a feat that is difficult to make any sort of diamond dog do.

“Okay, okay. Just let me go.”

Utah lets go of the dog and Feather Heart asks the first question.

“Where’s the filly?”

>>27251054
“Uh, fifth floor.”

“How many of your friends are in there and where are they?”

“I don’t know, a dozen. Maybe a few more. They’re just around”
Utah decides to butt in, “So spread out.”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Appreciate it,” Utah tells the dog before punching him as hard as he could in the head, knocking him out.

“You know you didn’t have to do that,” Feather Heart tells him.

“It’s better to be safe. Ready Crimson Crow? I was thinking just going through the front,” Utah asks Feather Heart, under her alias name.

“Sounds fine, Midnight Rider.”

Utah opens the door to the abandoned hotel. It looks run down and the walls are rotting. He keeps his crowbar in hand and Feather Heart had a wooden club and bola in her hands. A diamond dog comes downstairs and starts yelling at the two.

“Hey you taurs, were the boards over the door not enough a clue for you? We’re closed.”

Utah swings the crowbar, hitting the dog right in the jaw. He then swings it against his gut, causing him to lean down. He then swings at him one last time, hitting him in the back and knocking him out.

Another Diamond dog in a black coat comes down, clearly angry at them. “What are you two supposed to be?”
He reaches for something in his pocket and pulls out a one handed crossbow. Before he can pull the trigger, Feather Heart throws a bola at his paw, making him drop it. Utah swings the crowbar right into his face, knocking him out in one blow.

>>27251065
“The ones you never see coming.”

As the two head upstairs, another henchman was walking downstairs. Before he could he even do anything Feather Heart threw another pair of bolas at his back paws. As he was about to fall down, Utah grabs him and lifts him up and throws him over his head. They hear the dog rolling all the way down the stairs as they head up.

Second Floor

Once they reached the second floor, a crossbow bolt hits the crowbar in Utah’s hand and making him lose grip of it, forcing him to drop it. He looks in the direction of where it came from. He pulls out his revolver out of his holster and shoots the dog. The henchman collapses immediately, grabbing the part where he got shot in pain. They head to the next flight of stairs, Feather Heart in front of Utah. She grabs another pair of bolas from her bag and throws them up, hitting a dog a flight of stairs above them that Utah didn’t even notice. Utah rushes up the flight of stairs and kicks the dog straight through the poorly aged wooden handrail.

Third Floor

As they enter the floor and try to go through for the next flight of stairs, a large diamond dog opens one of the doors. He is probably twice their size and his fur was died for tattoos. He yells with a deep and raspy voice.

“I was trying to take a nap.”

Utah punches him in the shoulder as hard as he could. This only made him angrier. He grabs Utah by his neck and raises him off the floor.

“That’s not helping.”

Feather Heart grabs her bow and shoots an arrow right into the shoulder of the arm he was holding her friend by. The large dog screams in pain as he realizes he got shot and drops Utah. Utah takes off his poncho and uses it to wrap the giant’s head, blinding him. With all his force, he throws the giant through the handrail, falling to the first floor.

>>27251077
“Darn, I’m gonna have to grab that when we’re leaving.” Feather Heart looks at her friend wondering why he cares about it so much.

“What? My Aunt and Ma made it for me.” She rolls her eyes and heads to the end of the hall way. The duo goes up the next flight.

Fourth Floor

As they reach closer to the kidnaped victim, they see that three diamond dogs waiting for them. One tries to rush Feather Heart, but all he earned was a kick in the gut that sent him flying down. The other two rush for Utah. While he was able to stop one, the other was able to sucker punch him. It took him a second to regain his composure, but he was ready for both of their swings this time. He steps back to where they can’t hit him, then he grabs both of their arms. Utah than pulls them toward him and grabs both of them by the neck, somehow side slamming the two. He can thank his cousin for that one. Utah gets up with the help of Feather Heart, starting to feel slowly feel tired. “You’re alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just needed a second,” he tells her as they head up.

>>27251081
Fifth Floor

They sprint up to the final floor and where the abductee is and only on the other side of the hotel. Another henchman came through a door, but appeared very different from the last one. He had what appeared to be an incredibly expensive suit and two knives in his front paws. Feather Heart throws a bola at him, but unlike the others, he was able to cut it in half without a problem. “Let me take care of this one, Rider,” Feather Heart tells Utah while pulling out her wooden club. The dog rushes her and tries to stab her and completely misses. He constantly rushes and tries to slice her, only nicking her a few times on either he arms or her clothes. She gets very annoyed and grabs one of his arms and swings her club up right into his elbow, breaking it like rotting wood. He tries to get her with his other arm, but she was quick enough to dodge it and force his paw straight into his leg. Feather Heart then gave her club a good swing to his head, knocking him out.

“Ya alright?”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Are ya sure? Sure I can take of this when we go back to the cabin.”

“I’m sure, we’re still going back to your place anyway.”

As, they continue to talk to each other, another dog rushes them but with a baseball bat. “Hey, I’ve been needing another one of those,” Utah says. He tackles the dog before he can swing and punches him in the head as hard as he could. He then grabs the bat and feels the weight. As they go further the hallway, Feather Heart has an idea.

“Hey! Don’t go downstairs! It doesn’t sound safe!” Once she says that, the door start to slowly open with what looked like a crossbow that would take two men to reload. As the dog’s face start to show from the door, Utah takes a massive swing at his head. The swing causes the dog to fall like a sack of bricks. As they move forward, they hear someone behind them running away, going upstairs to the roof.

>>27251088
“Can ya take care of that one?” Utah asks Feather Heart.

“Just make sure the girl is safe,” and with that, Utah will be alone to take care of the hostage situation and reaching to the last door of the hallway. When he opens the door he sees the young filly blindfolded with a Dog wearing a newsboy cap and a black jacket pointing a crossbow at her. “That’s enough from you two. I’m sure my bow has a better reach than your bat and you’re sure not fast enough to grab that gun of yours to stop me.”

“But I like this bat,” Utah tells the dog while pointing that bat at him. “and you owe me a new club anyway. You also only have one bolt, so that means it’s either me and her. Ya could hurt her, but I have something to ask you?”

“And what’s that, taur?” The Miner’s leader asks him.

“What saves you after you hurt her?” It becomes clear that the Leader didn’t think that part through. “Everyone already thinks the kid is gone and likely accepted it. Have ya accepted your own or are ya ready to challenge that tonight?” The two stare down each other for a solid minute until the dog realizes what the odds are he could get away. He accepts it and hands the satyr the crossbow.

“Thank ya, and sorry,” Utah tells him as he takes a swing at his head. “Can’t risk it.” He goes to the filly, unwrapping the bandage around her head and untying her arms. “Hello, Baby Rey isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” she says as he looks at his disguise and seeing how strange he looks. He looks like her, but his face and hands are completely hairless. “My name is Midnight Rider. The royal guards will be here to pick you up soon. You can tell them you met me.” She stares at him, “Your face.”

“I must look pretty weird. It’s a disguise. Did they hurt you at all?”

“No. They just carried me places.”

>>27251095
>>27251095
“That’s good, just stay here and the guards will find you soon,” Utah tells her with a smile under his disguise. He leaves the room and remembers the flare gun, what guards will always respond to is still at the motorcycle. He first heads upstairs and sees how his friend is doing.

He reaches the roof and sees Feather Heart sitting next to the dog lying down. The dog has two arrows in his back, but still conscious. “I see that it went well for ya,” He says to Feather Heart. He then walks to the dog and kneels to where he can see his eyes.

“I hope ya listening. Wherever ya going, tell anyone ya know. Friends, acquaintances, or even ones ya don’t like. Tell every single one if they us,” he grabs him and sees his head is nodding at him.

“Run.”

End

Well that was longer than expected. Any criticism is welcomed

>>27251104
Wow, that was slick. We don't get a lot of action scenes with satyrs, but I love the duo dynamic you gave to Utah and Feather Heart. You even gave them aliases! I liked it a lot.

>>27251104
That was some action!

>>27251104
A few spelling mistakes here and there, but it was still an awesome read.

>>27251220
>>27251438
Glad you enjoyed it. I wasn't sure about aliases myself and kind of hoped they were liked enough. Maybe I'll do something with different satyrs or something. Emphasis on maybe.
>>27251649
Yeah, I started noticing them after I posted it.

So last thread there was a topic about which relationships would have the hardships. Let's dig a bit deeper. What are some of the hardships of some of these ships?

>>27254567
Melody and Presto would be pretty challenging. Caring for a blind person would be quite difficult. And the other side of that it would be difficult for Melody to care for Presto if he got sick, or injured.

But I think they would be stronger relationship wise for it.

>>27254567
Thistle would get emotionally drained if she's trying to take care of Rory during his self-loathing episodes. She'd be crabby and moody herself after constantly trying her best to lift her boyfriend's spirits.

>>27254567
Well Hotshot and Ambrosia would have a distance problem if she's all the way in Appleloosa with all those built stallions around her. Simmer and Blare have problems of their own that compound on each other. Radiance and Mistake are the classic star-crossed lovers with heaps of political outrage if this ever got out assuming that Equestria's standing with Chrysalis' kingdom is still on bad terms. Laika might not be socially adept enough to navigate through the outings that Garret might occasionally take her out on, like balls, charities, dinners, etc. Pogo and Mayor Mare have too big of an age gap.

Curwhibbles is running again.

>>27255530
>Ambrosia cucks Hotshot like she did Icarus
Ambrosia is a bad apple. And people think Cherry Popper is the unfaithful one.

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Quick doodle. Got carried away thinking of how to build a world, that I made unnecessary OC's

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>>27255946
Huh, I thought that was Cider for a second. The designed looked really familiar

>>27255946
>Justice
Daughter of Power.

>>27255858
Isn't Cherry Popper literally a prostitute?
Her boyfriend, if any, would surely have known her profession so it'd hardly qualify as unfaithful.

>>27255946
Looks like that sexy knight girl I see on /tg/ character art threads

>>27255858
And so begins the slow descent into madness.

Does Feather Heart live in the wild along with the buffalos? Or did her parents settle down in or near a village after they had her?

>>27257206
I haven't really thought about that. I guess it depends on the satyr population in that area. Maybe their family would be more inclined to live closer to civilization the more there are. I do assume Strong Heart would teach her anything she could want to know about survival anyway.

>>27256178
Anon, she prefers to be known as a "lady of negotiable affection" these days.

>>27258573
My bad.

>>27258651
https://derpibooru.org/1145643

Just found this. I didn't know tex still drew ponies.

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>>27259005
This is adorable.

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Trying different proportions. Don't know if there was already a satyr of Big Mac, but, I did this anyways

>>27259111
God I love Texanon

>>27259201
i love her

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>>27259201
There is, but that is a pretty nice design too.

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>>27259201
She looks really cute.
>Don't know if there was already a satyr of Big Mac
The Satyrs by Parent list in the OP is something you should try and check out if you're ever wondering about things like that. Or you could ask people in the thread.

>>27259249
>>27259243
Yeah, I usually do these at school after classes when I'm jerking around without internet. Still I guess I'm going to check out those links.

>>27259362
How about this?
The name list says that Big Mac has a kid named Gala, but I don't think there's ever been any art of her at all. Just one story that was written nearly three years ago.
What if >>27259201 is Gala? If you're cool with your little creation taking that name? And if others here also likes the sound of that?

>>27259431
Eh, not too fond of Darcy having a sister desu senpai. Part of her charm was being a strong only child, and like 99% of the satyrs already have siblings who either get ignored due to their only defining trait being a sibling or get paired up with their own sibling.

>>27259213
Can you draw a picture of Feather Heart?

>>27259455
can always follow the strange multiple universe theories, like yuzu vs lewdzu.
i really thought pogo was an only child for a long time.
>>27259551
working on a commission, i can in like an hour desu

>>27259564
>i really thought pogo was an only child for a long time.

I will never acknowledge Fiddle or Faddle. But I do love the multi verse theory.

>>27259585
Hell, I've thought of a universe where there's no other species but satyrs.

>>27259585
it solves a lot of core arguments and leaves everyone happy.
not a bad thing.

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If there's a satyr multi-verse, does that mean that there's a universe where satyrs aren't cute?

>>27259455
I just go with different designs for her like any other character. Instead of having her mom Hispanic, we stick with her having a human parent that's white.
>>27259639
That's going a bit far.

>>27259639
theyre horse bits are upper, human lower
thats been done i think?

>>27259639
>does that mean that there's a universe where satyrs aren't cute
Maybe there's an alternate universe where their bottom half is human and their top half is whatever their non-human parent is?

>>27259639
No that goes against the laws of physics.

>>27259201
I could shiggy diggy >>27259431
Gala deserves more love than just "the business" girl.

>>27259695
Satyrs with human bottoms and pony heads would look weird as fuck though.

>>27256363
Whose?

>>27259794
Oliver's

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>>27259794
>>27259874
Hotshot's obviously. But it also makes room for best girl.

>>27259959
>Implying this won't end in a murder suicide a la School Days style.

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>>27259995
>implying ambrosia even knows that boats exist

>>27260013
Bitch, Icarus/Hotshot is on a boat.

>>27260049
>Icarus/Hotshot on a boat
That sounds pretty gay.

>>27259995
What?

>>27260099
Only if one has the other's head. I meant Icarus OR Hotshot kills the other and decapitates Ambrosia.

>>27260126
Ever seen School Days? The finale has one of the love interests kill the other and decapitate the protag to keep his head as she gets on her family boat and drives away.

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>>27260149
Nah senpai, they both got cucked by her and so they cut off her head and went on the boat together.
Bros before hos and all that.
I'd post a picture of those two fags together, but I don't think there is one. Have a pleased Maverick instead; he'd say something like that anyway.

>>27260155
That seems more appropriate.

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>>27260149
>>27260155

That's fucked up fampai.

I prefer Hotshot/Ambrosia myself I have some smut I've had in mind for a while not yet I'm doubting my own ability to properly write it. But whatever floats your boat is fine.

>>27260155
Like in a gay way or just bros? Because that's be somewhat funny if Ambrosia cucking them both resulted in them going gay.

>>27260099
I ship it.

Would you let multi millionaire Snapshot take you on a week long all expenses paid tropical voyage on his luxury yacht, under the understanding that you'd be his little bitch for entire trip and would have to wear a gimp suit the whole time?

>>27260228
No and to stop taking money from his parents' bank account. Money doesn't grow on trees.

>>27260228
Also keep in mind that Snapshot and his Japonies businesspony friends are all going to be drinking heavily and doing a whole lot of cocain the entire time.

>>27260228
Gimp? No.

>>27260245
Oh heeeell no.

>>27260245
Keep in mind also that some of his friends may want to pee on you or you on them, and will probably call you "piggy" for the duration of the voyage.

Snapshot's business associates work hard and play hard in equal measure.

>>2643735
>>2643017
Delivery from /sad/

>>27260312
Well it's the thought that counts.

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>>27260322
My head is filled with thoughts of why

>>27260312
What was that?

>>27260228
>>27260245
>>27260283
So is there any upside to this "deal"?

>>27260342
Doesn't seem like it unless you enjoy being peed on my drunk dudes and possibly raped in the ass after you pass out drunk.

>>27260337
I would think an attempt to cross link from /trash/. Missing a couple decimal places.

>>27260368
There are no links in those deleted posts though.
Did they try to post porn directly?

>>27260374
Pretty sure they forgot to add >>>/trash/

>>27260342
500,000 Bits and the satisfaction of having made one sexually ambiguous satyr very happy indeed.

>>27260396
And all the drugs you can sequester away while returning home afterwards.

>>27260392
You may be right. I wonder why it doesn't say "cross-thread" though. Those post numbers can't possibly be from this thread.

>>27260415
because it's not cross-thread, it's cross-board.
>>>/trash/2643017
The other two as they stand lead to a /b/read thread from almost three years ago.
https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/2642646/#2643017

>>27260415
They just linked it wrong I assume. It should say
>>>/trash/2643745

>>27260487
Well I got the number wrong because my phone won't let me copy and paste, but I was right.

>>27260486
>because it's not cross-thread, it's cross-board.
Yeah, but the posts that are actually being referenced are from this board. They're just super old from 2012 because much lower post numbers on /trash/.
I guess it just doesn't work properly because they're dead.

>Oliver and Alex get into an argument (or as much of an argument you could get into with a mute satyr) over who spotted a mouse kill first.
>How do you resolve it?

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>>27260526
Yes. Why wouldn't that be the case?

>>27260694
No reason. I just never thought about it. It's not very often someone links 4 year old posts.

>>27260656
Cook the mouse up into a romantic diner for the two of them and have them share it. I'm assuming this Alex is fairly young or else she'd have moved onto rats and other larger prey.

>>27260920
I want Oliver to stalk Cottonball and freak her out because she thinks he's going to to eat her, but in actuality he thinks shes cute and doesn't want to approach her. Also Oliver is just terrible at hiding.

>>27261377
Plot twist: Oliver is actually a serial rapist.

>>27261402
Or yadere.

>>27261402
He has done some truly terrible things, it can't be denied.

What would be some good wrestling names for the satyrs?

>>27259005
https://derpiboo.ru/1146005

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How would you comfort a 10-year old who gets teased because she's hit precocious puberty and is now taller than everyone in class?

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>>27263531
cute

>>27264209
She'd look cute with a leash

>>27264448
Who, Eden?
Agreed.

>>27264559
No, Thistle. Figure she'd be into pet play. Besides, Eden's a dude

Do you think Celestia decided to do something grand for the first satyr? Like, a new holiday to celebrate the day when the very first satyr was born or something?

>>27263609

"Don't let the other girls get to you, sweetie, just laugh at them for having ovaries that don't work."

>>27265297
No. She congratulated the parents, gave them a box of chocolate and kissed the baby on the forehead, that's about it.

>>27265297
No, but she has made both her kid's birthdays unofficial holidays. All the palace staff and their families are invited to a party held in the great hall in honour of the occasions.

Attendance isn't mandatory, but you have to be there.

>>27255946
An AU where Satyrs are standard European Knights, Sphinxes are assassins, Drakes are vikings, and Changelyrs are ninjas. All are conscripted into service to expand their homeland.

>>27266696
And Dawn still gets married off to some foreign prince to secure her family's diplomatic relations.

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>>27266696

>Drakes are Vikings
>A good chunk of drakes are brown

They wuz kangs and shet?

>>27266790

Laughed harder than I should

>>27266790
So dragons have a thing for colored humans?

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Which satyrs have the most embarrassing parents?

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>>27267779
I want to say Pogo because of Pinkie Pie. Can you imagine how she was like when she found out that Pogo had a crush on Alex?

>>27267779
Rainbow. She always insist that her children are the best at everything and that not becoming friends with them would be a major disservice

>>27268268
>"Yes, she's touching me! Wait... I mean no, bad boner! Not now where people can see!"

>>27268268
Those colors don't suit Pogo at all in my opinion. He should wear something brighter that matches his eyes.

>>27268607
Light blues and yellows like Ponka?

>>27268549
And she kept trying to push Icarus to date Ace to live vicariously through him... I mean because he shouldn't settle for anything but THE BEST by her standards. Now she has her boy dating a dirty mud pony and a sissy girl who is into fashion and can't fly well because of her stupid boobs. Oh, where did she go wrong? /sarcasm. Rainbow Dash is a bad parent and should feel lucky her kids found happiness in their own way. Their dad must be AWESOME. Meaning she did one thing right.

>>27268615
Like mother like son.

>>27268619

Are you saying Dash wants to date Spitfire?

]spoiler]I always paired them together because they're the eldest Pegasus Satyrs, and their moms already know each other pretty well. So usually one ends up having the other watch them when they want some alone time with their husband. Then they stay friends for years and it kinda dawns on them how much they mean to each other.

>>27269158

>fucked up the spoiler tag

Well time to sudoku.

>>27269158
>Knows each other well
That's not how an idol-idolizer relationship works. That would work better with Dash and one of the Shy kids; or Snowflake's boy. In the show, Dash has always tried to impress/get noticed by the WBs.

>>27269185

I'm under the belief that satyrs show up a few years in the show's timeline, so Dash is a full time Wonderbolt and actually knows them on a personal level.

>>27269217
Still have to wait for that arc to pan out. If it ever does. Otherwise it's all assumptions.

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>>27269344
>waiting for an arc to pan out that's been completed since Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3

>>27269364
>Implying so hard

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>>27269394

She's a part time Wonderbolt as of now, and I think going to full time in the next episode, or at least doing her first official show.

What happens afterwards is up in the air.

>>27269407
Meaning until that ep, the arc is open. Plus side; it MIGHT close next ep. But until things are certain... Yep

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>>27269394
>>27269439
>dash isn't a wonderbolt
>only first-stringers matter

>>27269471

>Pregnant Dash and Spitfire will never bond over their future children while jokingly saying they'll get married one day

Though to switch gears to Hotshot and Prism I think Shot would be too rough and tumble for Prism and she would be a bit too prim for him.

Not that they wouldn't dislike each other, they just seem too far apart to really have common ground to bond over.

>>27269504
That clearly won't work, but at least there's always Icarus/Hotshot.

Are Ace and Hotshot bro And sister?

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>>27270085
No, they're just "really good" friends.

>>27269989
>That moment when they accidentally stare into each others eyes, drop everything, and realize they were meant for each other
I ship it. I ship it so hard.

>>27270085
Yes. Some say they're twins, but Ace is typically seen as the older sibling. Spitfire also has two twins Rocket and Ratchet, but they're unicorn satyrs, much to her dismay since she missed out on a lot of Ace's and Hotshot's formative years.

What cartoons do you think certain satyrs would enjoy?
>Adventure Time
>Steven Universe
>Regular Show
>We Bare Bears
>Gravity Falls
>Star vs. The Forces of Evil
>Avatar Series
>Rick & Morty
>Bob's Burgers
>Bojack Horseman

>>27270343
Not trying to detract from your topic; but just had an idea of my own

>Satyr child gets thrown into EqG-verse
>They meet their non-human (now human?) parent
>End up in a Back to the Future scenario
Are they clever, brave, and crafty enough not to have accidental other world incest? Will they be able to hook up their parents? And will Stormwalker be strong enough to end Freezer's tyrannical reign? Find out in the discussion below satyr thread z.

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>>27270169

I thought they were Earth Satyrs.

Or one was Earth and the other Unicorn.

Never paid either much mind so whatever.

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>>27270392

>Personhorse Movie

About the only things I accept from those are Subset Shimmer and The Sirens. Everything else can go and stay go.

>>27270169
>but they're unicorn satyrs
How does that work?
Was their father a unicorn human?

>>27271496

LOWER HORN

In seriousness pony genetics are weird. The cakes gave birth to a unicorn and a Pegasus despite being Earth Satyrs. I always preferred first gen Satyrs taking after the pony parent's race myself.

Second gen is where it gets weird.

>>27271557
The cakes are Earth Satyrs?! Satyrs confirmed!

Curwhibbles is running again for those interested.

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>>27270144
Oh my.

>>27273575
>In comes a bunny satyr with a hop, skip and a jump.
>"Oh, I'll give you all the love you could ever want, baby. How does sixty times a night sound?"
>Mistake frowned up at the boy as he gave her a wink.
"G-Get out of here! Go on, shoo! Damn rabbits, man."

>>27273711
I guess bunny satyrs would be pretty virile.

>>27273918
Soon all of Equestria will be overrun with tens of thousands of bunny satyrs. All will have to obey strict Leporidae law and submit to the holy word of the Great Father, blessed be his name.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQqUeGx-fro

>>27273918
Between a drake, a changelyr, an earthy satyr, and a bunny satyr, which one would have the most sexual stamina?

>>27273961
I imagine that for bunny satyrs sex wouldn't last long, but they'd be ready and raring to go again in no time at all.

The males are like jackhammers when they get going.

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>>27273940
Great, now I need a picture of this cutie wearing a balaclava and holding a sign stating "behead those who insult the Great Father"

>>27273940
Where in the world is the mother in all this?

>>27274037
Probably nursing her latest brood of thirty or so newborns while at the same time as being pregnant with the next batch. They're basically the Satyr version of traditionally Catholic Irish mothers, and contraception is a sin.

>>27274048
>traditionally Catholic Irish mothers, and contraception is a sin
According to these super-prudish religions, wouldn't sex in itself be a sin too?

>>27274394

Sex after marriage is okay.

Sex before marriage isn't.

>>27274394
Bunny satyrs worship fertility alongside the great father, blessed be his name.
To receive his seed once is a blessing, to be counted among the great brood mothers is a heaven on earth unto itself.

>>27274476
Great Father Anon never asked for any of this. All he wanted was to have a quiet family life with his bunny satyr waifu and maybe a kid or two to look after them in their old age. Sadly, he didn't count on his waifu having a reproductive system like that of a hamster on cocaine that's drip-fed Viagra and industrial strength aphrodisiacs 24/7.

He never wanted to be the God Patriarch of an entire race, but over the years he's learned to just go with it as arguing about it is too exhausting and he's not a young man these days. He's only in his thirties, but having a wife that's constantly hungry for sex ages a man prematurely.

It's tough to be a God-Father.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igxDzfJ2MPo

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>>27274530
Celestia strongly disapproves of Anon no longer seeking to dissuade others from thinking he's a living god. He didn't even fill out the paperwork and pay the 14.99 Bits to receive an official certificate stating that he was a divine being like she and he sister did.

Their epic psychic duels have become legend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22Tj_l4PcPs

>>27274394
Not so long as the act doesn't disallow the possibility of pregnancy, for example bum-bum fun times.

During the middle ages in Europe, which I know is a massive span of almost 1,000 years of history, the church "largely" turned a blind eye to the practice of prostitution as it was believed to discourage masturbation among young, unmarried men, which was believed to be a greater sin in the eyes of God.

>>27274608
>masturbation among young, unmarried men, which was believed to be a greater sin in the eyes of God
Now I'm legitimately curious what sort of person could come up with something this level of retarded.

>>27274674
Clergymen who wanted an excuse no to shut down the whorehouses.

Even priests have urges.

>>27273092
Sibcest when?

>>27274530
"The seed of truth, whom the outside cannot conceive, because it neither sees Him or knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells within you, and will conceive in you."
Inbreeding - 10 1

>>27274688
I guess that sort of makes sense.

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>>27274005

The following green isn't meant to be taken seriously so don't get all triggered.

>Gazing wistfully out of the high window of the palace's harem complex, Levi sighed.
"Annabelle, do you ever wonder if there's more to life than just having lots and lots of babies?"
>"What do you mean?"
"You know... I mean I like babies, I think they're cute... but don't you ever want to get out there and see the world? I'm almost twenty years old and I've never even left the capital city."
>Her companion seemed shocked.
>"That's heresy, Levi. You know being a birther is a great honour."
"But-"
>"We could have been warriors, or farmers, or labourers, but we aren't. It's Great Father's will that we bear the next generation, and who are we to question his will?"
>Levi shrugged.
"But I've only ever seen Great Father once when he was addressing the people from the balcony. Have you ever actually heard him say that we have to stay locked up in this palace forever? Maybe he'd change his mind if he met us?"
>Annabelle threw herself to the ground and began muttering to herself.
>"Forgive her insolence, Great Father, she doesn't know what she's saying. Steer her away from vanity and pride and let he walk the path of humility. Show her the light of your divine purpose and lead her not into-"
>Levi rolled her eyes.
"Now you're just being ridiculous."
>Annabelle hopped to her feet and pointed a finger accusingly at her companion.
>"I always knew your heart was filled with sin! How will you justify yourself when you stand before Great Father on the day of judgement?"

Heresy has never been so adorable.

>>27274862
Plus it'd have been pretty much impossible to enforce a ban on prostitution.

>>27274803
I'm too dumb to understand this.

>>27274923
Just one of many passages from the bible of the cult of the Great Father.

It's John 14:17 from the Gideon's holly beeble, modified for the purposes of the bunny satyrs.

>>27274910
>Birther in the harem complex.
>Only seen the great father once.
How? Do specially selected bunnies just deliver the Great Father's seed to them instead?

>>27274974
>How? Do specially selected bunnies just deliver the Great Father's seed to them instead?
I wasn't implying incest except perhaps between fairly distant relatives. Maybe especially favoured warriors are granted the privilege of access to the palace harem and the opportunity to breed.

With a race that reproduces in such numbers, maybe it's necessary to ensure that only the highest ranking and most impressive males pass on their genes so as to not have an unsustainable population surge. Or not, I didn't put any real though into it.

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>Prism walks through the town holding her books as Hotshot and Ace looks on.
>"Man, what I wouldn't give to go on a date with her." Hotshot sighs as Ace chuckles.
>"Really? I would have figured she wasn't your type."
>"I think she is, girl like that must be a hoot that's for sure."
>"Well, if you really wanna take her out I can arrange something."
>"Really!?"
>"Sure, but It'll cost you."
>The smile fades from his face and is replaced with crushed hope as he asks "How much?"
>"Your allowance for 3 weeks."
>"But then how will I pay for our date!?"
>"Not my problem." She dismisses "But if you're not interested then it's ok."
>"N.no, set it up...But can I pay you after our date?"
>"Hey i wouldn't be a good older sister if I didn't cut you a break."

>One blind date later, Hotshot stands nervously in park dressed in nicest street clothes as Prism comes walking up. Long blue dress softly flowing in the breeze.
>"Hotshot?"
>"Oh, hey! Um, you look nice."
>"Thanks. You look nice too, are you ready to go?"
>"Sure."
>The two walk down the street as the nightlife goes on around them. Hotshot notices a swank club to the side and points towards it "Hey, you wanna go dancing for a bit?"
>"Huh?"
>"You know, dancing. It'll be fun."
>"Oh, no that's ok. I don't really like loud music." She worriedly smiles trying to spare his feelings.
>"Ah, well we can see a movie then."
>"Sure, that could be fun."
>"Great! That Everfree Forrest movie looks good."
>"Oh, I don't like scary movies."
>"Ok, uh, how about Trot Hard?"
>"Violent movies make me nauseas."
>"Hutopia?"
>"Ok!"
>("That's a shame I really wanted to hear what killjoy reason you had for that.") he thinks before smiling leading the way, still optimistic that this can be a fun date. "Shall we?"

>Perhaps seeing a kids movie on a Friday night was not the best idea as the line was packed like a girls bathroom at a rock concert.

>>27275080

>In the far back, Hotshot tries his best to ignore the swarms of kids raising all hell as Prism humors a small crying filly. It was cute; she’d make a good mother.
>The pony usher comes to the front of the line and begins letting the ponies in, finally in the theater it’s a mad house as fillies, foals and their parents pack the stands.
>Hotshot’s go to seats are unsurpringly taken as the two look around for ANY place to sit.
>Spotting two seats side by side near a family, he quickly leads her over as the two quick step up the stairs, but before he can sit his butt in it the mare stops him, “Wait! That’s my husbands seat!”
>”Huh?” He asks stupidly as she gives a frown.
>”He went to go get the snacks, he’ll be arriving any moment.”
>”What about the other seat?” He asks as she looks it over
>”No, that’s not ours.”
>Hotshot looks around desperate to find any other seat but all appear to be either taken, or only one seaters. Prism places her hand on him and smiles “Its ok, you can have that seat, I’ll sit somewhere else.”
>”But..” Its then the lights dim as the movie begins, (“Shit.”) He whispers.
>The movie plays on as the kids are having a good time while Hotshot sits alone and sighs annoyed. Prism doesn’t seem the leasts bit phased as she happily watches and laughs at the movie.

>After the movie, Hotshot and Prism walk out as he can do little to hide his sour mood.
>Prism looks over and worriedly asks “Are you ok?”
>”Im fine.” He states flatly before stopping and gathering his composure, “Say, are you hungry?”
>”Im famished.” She smiles.
>At a modest littler restaurant, Prism sits herself and gets comfy as Hotshot sits across from her as the waiter comes up.
>”What will it be?”
>They place their orders as a small silence comes between them. Hotshot uses this like all opportunities to learn more.
“So, in all this we haven’t really had a chance to talk. Tell me about yourself.”

>>27275087

>”Oh, well there’s not to much tell.” She laughs, “I like to plant, sky paint..”
>”What is it with pega-girls and sky painting?”
>”Its fun.” She laughs
>”So boring though.”
>”Well I guess im a boring person then.” She laughs good humouredly as the food arrives.
>”Oh it looks so good.” Hotshot remarks as Prism nods in agreement, as the food is set Hotshot readies his utensils as Prism cups her hands together.
>”Dear lord, thank you for this bountiful meal we are about to receive.” Hotshot simply looks across in disbelief with his mouth full of food as Prism stops her prayer to look at him somewhat embarrassed “Oh, you don’t pray?”
>”N.no.”
>”Do you know the workings of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?”
>Today was a not every girl is as great for you as you imagined kind of day

Wish I had more pics of Hotshot

>>27274530
>Anon makes a passing comment about how he finds minotaurs rude and obnoxious.
>Entire bunny population launches a massive crusade in his name to cleanse the infidel moos from the face of the earth.
>Anon can do nothing but sit back and watch, waiting until his armies are tuckered out, knowing they're well being the point of listening to reason.
>Later, he sends the instigators to bed early without a glass of carrot juice or goodnight kiss.

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>>27275095

That's pretty much how I imagined a date between them going.

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>>27275096
>Anon can do nothing but sit back and watch as bunny-kinds unmatchable numbers overwhelm the island nation.
>Minotaurs are absorbed into his empire, their wombs and incredible lactic output contributing greatly to his people.

>>27275096

>Commander Flopsy's diary - Thursday 5th.

>'Though I had believed my cause righteous and my heart free from the burden of sin, our Great Father has cast me from his divine light and turned his purifying gaze away from my prayers. Though I do not know what the purpose in his divine plans could be, it is clear that I am forsaken. I only pray that, given time, I may come to a better understanding of His will and serve him once again. For now, I shall humble before him myself and purify myself with three days of fasting and flagellation as penitence for my transgressions. Forging me, Great Father, for I thought my cause righteous and my heart p-'

>The commander's scribbling is interrupted by her bedroom door being opened.
"Okay, little miss bunny-bums, I've spoken to the Minotaur king and he's willing to accept your apology now."
>"G-Great Father? Is that you?"
>Anon chuckled, seeing his fanatical great, great, great granddaughter lying on her plush, pink bed surrounded by dozens of stuffed animals.
"Yes it's me, sweetie."
>The commander's eyes widened in religious rapture as a moment later she threw herself to the ground and prostrated herself before her God.
>"Great Father, you appear now before me, your unworthy servant! Guide me down the path of virtue and shield me from the temptations of-"
>Anon interrupted her by clearing his throat, having heard the particular prayer she was reciting over seventeen times already that day
"Yes, I'll see to all that later, but if you could please come say you're sorry to king Minos it's make my life a whole lot easier."
>Flopsy sprung to her feet and rushed over to her God, hugging him tightly.
>"I'll serve you in any way I can! T-This is truly a glorious day!"
>Unable to deny her adorableness, Anon reached down and ruffled her hair affectionately.
>Flopsy gazed up at the face of her Great Father with tears in her eyes.
>"Am I awaited in Valhalla?"
"What? Oh... yeah, sure."

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>>27275273
>Custom dictates that Anon must take a Minotaur bride to solidify the unification of the two nations.
>Anon continues not to have explicitly requested this.

>>27275471
Who is this? Does she have a name? Shall she be next to bare anons children? Cause I may write it

>>27275567
As far as I know she's just some random minotaur, but I'd really like to read it if you write it.

>>27275567
Hester. She has 21 pics on Derpi.

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>>27275471
I'm going to touch the cow.

>>27275957
DO IT NOW

>>27275957
Do it now. But no sex before marriage.

>>27275957

"I'm going to touch the cow."
>Hester snorted, rolling her eyes at hearing that same tired joke for the millionth time.
>"Oh, you want me to say 'do it now' don't you? Look Anon, either hurry up and get into bed or else I'll just use my battery operated boyfriend instead."

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>>27275095
Poor Hotshot.

>>27275471
She's a cutie. 10/10 would bang.

>>27276061

>get date with a girl
>they don't have much in common

Really his only loss is the three weeks allowance.

>>27276367
Yeah. Besides, I'm sure he had SOME fun. Not in the way some immature hormone driven teenagers are thinking. Actual fun. Not sexual fun.

>>27276562
When are we going to get a summer roadtrip story from /satyr/? With the old satyr gang? From Hope's perspective?

>>27276673
>Anon takes Hope, Gumdrop and Alex on a roadtrip.
I'd read it.

>>27276692
>OLD Satyr gang
>Gumdrop
Pick one

>>27276673
>>27276715
By old satyr gang, do you mean some of the very first satyrs that were created?

>>27276730
Yeah. Give it a classic throwback feel.

>>27275095
Do you think you could do one with Pogo and Mayor Mare going on a date?

>>27277373
Ill try but no promises.

Curwhibbles is continuing.

>>27223686

Do you think Emily would cute in a Ninja outfit?

>>27278649
Who's Emily? Is she new?

>>27279352
Laika gon' give it to ya

>>27278715
Nah, she's the other catbird satyr that's decently well known for being a weaboo.

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>>27279893
Oh, you're talking about Emma. Yeah, she'd look cute. Hip windows are a must though.

>>27277951
I really want to see more of Hope in those clothes.

>>27280492
Spats, rompers, and bloomer are my fetusges.

>>27280492
I want to see a satyr couple drinking soda and one of them burps on accident, but then it leads to a soda burping contest and then they kiss.

>>27280549
Which satyrs would enjoy burping the most?

>>27280639
Muddle
>"Check my sick flames, bro"

>>27280684
Definitely.

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You guys are a hoot

>>27280872
All Glory to the Bunny Empire, Great Father grant them the strength to drag the heathens into your righteous light.

All rise for the anthem.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9QRa0hdf9E

>>27280872

>Ignoring the cries of the panicked ponies around him, Private Jack Hopper lit the Molotov cocktail grasped tightly in his right hand before briefly offering up a prayer to his eternal patriarch.
"By my deeds I honour him, Great Father."
>Feeling his heart filled with renewed faith, Pvt Hopper tossed the flaming projectile high into the air and watched with fanatical fervour as it smashed upon the wooden shingles of the orphanage's roof.
>Soon, a large portion of the building was engulfed in flames as the fire quickly spread, fed by the strong winds the Holy Father had seen fit to bestow upon his faithful.
>Jack had no time to enjoy the glorious sight, however, as Corporal Cottontail called out to him from some distance away.
>"Don't just stand there gawking, Private, we've got work to do!"
>Turning his head reluctantly away from the glorious sight before him, Jack nodded and slung his rifle over his shoulder.
"Y-Yeah. Coming, boss!"

>Four hundred miles away in the Bunny Capital, Anon looked up from his newspaper, a sudden vague feeling that somewhere, one of his countless great, great, great, great granddaughters needed a spanking creeping into the back of his mind and disturbing his lazy Sunday afternoon.
>Anon had little time to contemplate the matter though, as no sooner than had he resumed reading a guard burst into the room and prostrated herself before him.
"Yes, uh... Cutie pie?"
>The guard looked up at him with deep reverence.
>"The All Mother sent me, Lord. She wishes to inform you that you are needed in the Royal Bedchamber at once."
>Anon sighed.
>One day he'd make it passed page three of the morning paper before something needed his attention.

>>27280872
That is adorable. I wouldn't even be mad if that cutie committed war crimes in my village.

>>27281121
Anon really regrets showing his kids Mad Max. The Empire has since run out of chrome spray.

>>27281121
So are the earlier generations of Anon's kids treated with reverence by those that came later, like the Primarchs in 40K for being considered closer to their great father?

Are the first generation considered like living saints by the rest? At what point did the bunny satyrs natural affection for their dear daddy turn into religious fanaticism? How long was it before Anon gave up on trying to argue and just accepted that he'd never convince them he wasn't a god?

Most importantly, who the fuck keeps digging up the palace carrot patch?

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>>27281246

>>27280872
>"...To Honor Great Father and all that he has-"
>"FIEEEELD FUUUUUCK!"
>"What did they say?"
>"Uh, field FUN, yeah, FUN."

>"Each and every bunny under my command owes me one hundred taur horns... And I want my horns!"

>“I love the smell of lube in the morning. You know, one time we had an ass fucking, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that terrible army-issue lube smell, the whole hill. Smelled like…victory. Someday this war's gonna end...”

>"I am Gunnery Sergeant Hoppman, your senior drill instructor. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir". Do you maggots understand that?"
>"Sir, yes Sir".
>"Bullshit I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair!"
>"SIR, YES SIR!"
>"If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life. You are not even bunny-fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of minotaur shit! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on ziggers, hornheads, bitches, or taurs. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?"

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>>27281526
God damn this is golden, keep going.

>>27281526
Why would they hate minotaurs so much? Seems to me like griffins would be more their natural enemy seeing as both their component species hunt rabbits.

>>27281654
AROUND TAURS, LOCK YOUR DOORS

>>27281672
I see my copypasta has caught on.

>>27281771
So who will be the leader bunny girl? what is her name?

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>>27280516
>bloomers
my man

>>27274803
Some other popular passages from the Bunny holy book.

>"Blessed be they who cast themselves upon the divine wisdom of Great Father, for he is wise; yet damned shall be all those who trust in pride and vain thought, for they shall know not His light."

>"No greater joy nor honour exists than to submit oneself utterly in service of His name, knowing that thy cause is just and thy heart filled with righteousness."

>"Show honour to thy parents and those who came before, for they dwell closer to His light, yet rejoice at the coming of children, for they shall spread His word."

>"Go forth and multiply; let thy numbers be beyond measure so that all the world may know His glory."

>"May thy eyes be bright and thy ears keen, and never shall thou be blind nor deaf to His word or His Glory."

>"Red ones go faster."

Now, let the congregation be upstanding for our hymn.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BXGsFXNLIs

>>27281771
She really needs a timeout and maybe to lay off the sugary drinks a little.

>>27280872
Whose bright idea was it to sell them automatic weapons? Do they have the manufacturing capability to make their own?

>>27281879
Considering how fast they reproduce, they probably have their own research and production going.

>>27281888
Any yet they still haven't found a way to prevent even their fiercest warriors from being disarmed and rendered helpless via a single surprise ear petting.

>>27281901
Helmets with ear-protectors.
And it's not really going to work in any large-scale battle anyway.

>>27281504
Those thighs tell me she's destined to be a breeder, right? She doesn't look like soldier material.

>>27280872

A dud?

>>27281548
Just for you Anon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDrgnetYFWw

Buns of Empire! Stand at ready,
Wave on waves of bunnies, dread he,
While he sleeps we stand already,
Battle, here we come!

Tis the tramp of Tauren foemen,
Tauren swordsmen, Tauren bowmen,
On the plains or in their own den,
They shall kiss the ground!

Watch the Tauren blunder,
Flag we conquer under!
The empty sky now bright on high,
Shall launch its bolts with thunder!

Onward! 'tis the Father needs us,
He is bravest, he who leads us
The cries of battle proudly heeds us,
Freedom, Dad and Right!

*Break*

Deathly hills and valleys narrow,
Silver sword and bow and arrow
Mind not threat of death or sorrow,
Death is glory now!

*Break*

March! And hop on over!
Pick the foemen's clover!
Fight for all and heads we maul,
And foreign nations we all takeover!

Buns of Empire! Father's Glory,
Hunt the foes like you would quarry,
Strike for home and spread the Story!
Freedom, Dad and Right!

Yes, I took Men of Harlech and turned it into the Bunny Army Song.

>>27281934

>"Name?"
"Flopsy Boo-Boo of clan Cottontail, your grace."
>"Hmm... bright, wide eyes, alert and upright ears of good size..."
>Flopsy stood at attention as the elder sister walked around her in a slow circle.
>"Breasts of acceptable size, expected to grow with maturity, strong looking thighs and pleasingly wide hips... hmm, yes."
"Your grace?"
>"Congratulations miss Boo, you'll make an excellent breeder."
>Flopsy's ears drooped slightly.
"Breeder, but I-"
>"But what?"
"But... I always wanted to be an architect. It's been my dream ever since I was little."
>The elder satyr shrugged and jotted something down on her clipboard.
>"Yes, and I wanted to be a doctor, but the task master assigned me to be a bureaucrat instead."
"But-"
>"It's a great honour to be chosen as a mother for the next generation."
>Flopsy became suddenly away of the two guards that had come up behind her.
>"These two will show your to your new chambers where you're to be located from now on. Please make yourself at home and ready yourself to carry out the task assigned to you."
"Don't I get a say in-"
>"I expect we'll have a number of suitable candidates to father your first litter before the end of the day, most likely from amongst our many honoured war veterans."
"But-"
>"Blessed be the Great Father."
>Flopsy lowered her head in defeat, accepting the judgement of her elder.
"...Blessed be all those who toil in His light."

Grimderp as fuck.

>>27282007
>When suddenly Flopsy runs into Anon in the corridor to the breeding chambers.
>After Telling Anon about what happened, he puts an end to the forced assignment and enforcement of roles and instead makes it so all his extended family can pursue whatever jobs interest them.
>Anon also decrees Flopsy adorable and takes her as his personal cuddle-bunny.

Cuddle-bunny is basically the equivalent of being a PA and confidant, and is in no way sexual.

How long before complainanon has a problem with bunnies?

>>27282076
You should really stop complaining.

>>27282007
>Somewhere there's a petite nymphomaniac bunny girl, who's constantly horny and wants nothing less than to get slamfucked into the mattress with a smile on her face and legs behind her ears, who dreads her assignment of dress maker.

>>27282076
He's been quiet for a while now. Please don't bring him up. He isn't the topic of this thread.

>>27282076
May as well start things off right since you asked.

I come to the satyr thread for satyrs. Not Final Fantasy.

>>27282076
>inb4 new thread in /trash/ called /bun/ where all triggering bunny discussion can be had and this place can remain a safe space

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>>27282085
Anon please, your daughteru has no place in this conversation.

>>27282076
>>27282105
Damn it, do you really have to open your mouths about this shit when it's obviously clear no one's talking about this?

>>27282121
It's very clear they're triggered from nothing. It's just like tumblr.

>>27282076
>complainanon
Complainanons. And I'm pretty sure everyone can tell that all this is just meant as a joke.

>>27282110
Actually, I have five beautiful daughterus and none of them are sex crazy bunny girls, thank you very much!

>>27282135
>this is just meant as a joke.
Yup. None of the green I've written about the bunny empire is meant to be taken seriously. Hell, most of it had pretty much no effort put into it at all.

As far as I'm concerned, its only purpose has been to maybe generate a small kek or two and in no way should be considered worldbuilding.

>>27282141
I'm sorry to hear that. Still, maybe you'll get lucky with number six.

>>27282085
I'm sure there's plenty of those. Most probably work as breeders and are happy doing so.

>>27281789
Nice.

>>27282110
I'm sure as long as he's the one slamfucking her into the mattress with a smile on her face and legs behind her ears, he's okay with that.

>Golden Harvest and Carrot Top become the Bunny Empire's top food distributor and have made massive moolah providing carrots and carrot-based rations towards the numerous bunny girl populous.
>Can finally brag that their produce is just as good, if not better, than the Apples.

>>27282105

>Somewhere in the capital city of the Bunny Empire a lone girl stands staring into her bedroom mirror, a look of intense contraction on her face.
"Come on.... Come on... Grow, boobs, grow!"
>Her forehead wrinkles with effort and she clamps her fists tightly closed as she tries to force her petite little mosquito bite breasts expand via sheer force of will.
"Come on, please... I'm begging you! Be bigger!"
>Suddenly a knock came at her bedroom door, throwing off her focus.
>"Penny, are you in there?"
>It was her sister, Marigold.
"What do you want, Mari? I'm kinda busy in here."
>There was a brief moment of silence.
>"Are you trying to grow your boobs again?"
>Swiftly clamping her hands over her insignificant endowments, Penny hastily looked for a shirt to throw on.
"No! I was just... Whatever, it's none of your business!"
>There was another short period of silence.
>"You know it wont work, right? Big sis Kiwi, Ladybug and Lollipop and Dandelion all became clothes makers... we probably will too."
>Penny growled irritably and threw herself down onto her bed.
"You maybe, not me! I'm going to be a breeder, you'll see!"
>"You can't! Breeders all have to be 'of voluptuous build' you know. It says so in the Holy Book."
>Penny shook her head adamantly.
"I will so! I'll be the best breeder ever! I'll have more babies than anybody, you'll see."
>Receiving no reply, Penny looked up at the ceiling and let out a sigh before speaking softly to herself.
"I will be a breeder. I'll get all the warrior dick and make the Great Father proud... I will."

That night a miracle occurred and Penny woke up with a plump set of 32 DD's

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>>27282314
>Oppai loli bunny girl
Diamonds!

>>27282159
Just remember that jokes can be run into the ground.

>>27282359
Penny gets assigned as a wet nurse for the harem's newborns, because breeders have better things to do than nurse their own children. Things like getting dicked for example.

Wet nurses aren't permitted to breed.

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>>27282457
Everyday is suffering.

>>27282457

"H-Hey, soldier boy, want to fuck me? We can do it real quick in the broom closet... nobody will ever know!"
>"Me, with you? Well sure, that sounds great! Usually only the officers are allowed to mate."
"It's your lucky day! Quick follow me and we can get started right-"
>"But wait... aren't you an ordained wet nurse?"
"No!"
>"Yes you are, I recognise your holy vestments. I-It's forbidden to mate with a member of the church's holy nursing corps."
"No, I'm just really into cosplay, honest."
>But it was too late, the guard had already thrown himself to the ground to beg forgiveness.
>"Cleanse me of my sins, Great Father, and forgive my transgressions against you."
>Looking down at the pitiful sight before her, Penny let out an annoyed huff.
"Shit."
>Looks like she'll be spending another night in the company of Mr Hitachi.

>>27282549
>"No, I'm just really into cosplay, honest."

Lost it

>>27282549
So she's Tomoko then?

>>27282633
I thought Emma was Tomoko?

>>27282649
All satyrs are Tomoko.

>>27282105
Can you just go fuck off? See>>27282121
No one was saying SHIT. Yet you still had to complain about ot. Maybe YOU'RE the complain-anon. Besides, /sad/ is doing pretty good. No bitching or moaning; unlike here. Though, that could just be you.

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>>27282660
Beautiful

>>27282133
Yet you're the one complaining now. Don't see any posts whining except for yours. Bitch.

>>27282374
>What is cocaine addicted Pam
>What is Family Guy
>What is a meme
Remember kids; comedy is all about timing, tone, and amount.

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>>27282667
>>27282674

Does anybody remember Catrine?

>>27282168
Bunny satyrs handle pregnancy well, not being hindered until late pregnancy, and recovering from births quickly.
All but the hand picked personal harems of the Great Father, blessed be his name, serve the empire with another job in addition to breeder.
Even soldiers keep on soldiering till their baby bump starts pushing on their armor, then it's a desk job for a while.

>>27282733
That's horrible for the development of the baby. Increased exposure to toxins, trauma, higher stress levels for the mother, etc.

>>27282712
>Not choosing Snapshot
Fucking plebian. Best flavor and you choose lesser.

>>27282715
The seductive and cuddly Changetyr?

>>27282750
In the grim darkness of the Bunny Empire, there is only numberless satyr rights violations. The place is basically a cuter version of North Korea.

>>27282750
Pregnant soldiers get rations of special potions to offset many risks, and aren't sent into active combat.

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>>27282712
http://i.imgur.com/NKW9veK.png?1
Gift of pic related from /sad/

>>27282837

I think Snapshot turned me bi.

>>27282857
Same. Not joking about it though. He was the gateway trap that made me lust after femboys... Stupid sexy Snapshot.

>>27282909

Fucking DJ man.

His trappy Pogo and Garret did nothing for me though

How would the thread feel if I wrote about a satyr getting the shit beaten out of them?

>>27283532
please do

>>27283532
I probably wouldn't read it. I mean, unless there's more to it, then the story just seems like a way to vent your anger about someone irl.

>>27283532
>Welcome to Ponyville faggot

>>27283532
Sure. Might end up with some feels or something.
Is it going to be about a group of ponies who has a problem with satyrs? Because I've always wanted to read something like that.

>>27283532

Depends on the Satyr I guess.

>>27283645
This. If it's Yuzu then I'll be pissed.

>>27283690
At the ones who would hurt her? Or the writer?

>>27283645
Muddle after pulling one of his self-lubricating butthole pranks on someone?

>>27283804
That little shit could use a dose of humility.

>>27283804
>self-lubricating butthole
Why? Just fucking why?

>>27283859

At this point I think it's more of a joke than anything.

>>27283804
I'm okay with this though


>>27283859
because some fetishfag wanted an excuse to have ludicrous amounts of homosex. He'll likely pop at some point and make an argument about how it makes digestion more hygenic due to high mohs ratings on dragon food, but it's pure fetish fuel.
It just became a running joke.

Muddle slides around the polished floors of his house on it. There are handles attached to the walls of his house so he can slipnslide his way about.

>>27283931
Do Thistle and Gargle get in on it?

>>27283712
The ones who hurt her. I wouldn't be mad at an actual person for a fictional story.

>>27283931
>Muddle slides around the polished floors of his house on it. There are handles attached to the walls of his house so he can slipnslide his way about.
The whole world is his skating rink.

>>27283931
Hey, /d/ supports it.

>>27283899
This, as far as I'm concerned. I don't know who came up with it, but it's pretty funny.

>>27283931
>Homosex
Have you NEVER had anal with a virgin? Have you even had sex? Lube is a fucking god send.

>>27284223

From a biological standpoint it makes no sense. There are a lot easier ways of shitting (there's a cap from /tg/ about how horse asses work).

>>27284223
Yet it still pisses people off. Like the bunny daughter empire. I wonder if they're the same group.

>>27284240
No one's pissed off about the Bunny Empire. You're just saying things now.

>>27284240
Don't bring up the thread police again.

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More lewd trap for the Trap Throne.
http://i.imgur.com/AW5MdmL.png?1

>>27284227
It was basically always brought up for the male drakes, not for Thistle or Blaire (although she's nearly always depicted as gay).

And sure, lube is helpful. But if you want to go plundering a self-lubricating hole, and you aren't gay, there's this really nifty invention called a vagina!

>>27284262
I never really bought into the whole gay Blare thing, especially with the company she was keeping. It wouldn't seem right with her personality in my opinion.