I want you to confess!

What kind of confession? Any kind?

I pissed myself while high once.

>>27042376
I dropped the screw in the tuna

>>27042376
>this shit again
MODS PLEASE FUCKING WAKE UP AND DELETE THESE /B/ THREADS

>>27042400
Fresh off the boat, kid?

>>27042376
I admit it. IWTCIRD

>>27042407
Shut up, redditor, or I'll remove your central nervous system.

>>27042425
>oh no i've been outed out!

>>27042376
I was the turkey all along.

>>27042376
I honestly enjoy a girls' cartoon show more than any other thing in this world.

>>27042376
I want to fug the rabbit in Zootopia

*sigh* fine.

>Be me one year ago
>Iv'e been watching MLP for about a month
>Nobody but my buddy knows
>He's also a brony
>you just finished an episode
>Magical mystery cure i think
>You see a link in the description to 4chan
>You used to use 4chan years ago when you watched sonic the Hedgehog
sweet memories.
>Theres an MLP board now
yes!
>After about 4 consecutive hours on the board, you create a thread
"Im new to /mlp/ anything i should know?"
>That question is your downfall
>Over 43 replies
all of them are links and things like that
>what are they exactly?
NOTHING...BUT...PORN!!!

>>27042376
I am happy with all of my life choices that have led me up to making this post
I really regret nothing

>You've heard about pony porn before but never dared to look it up
looks like today is the day
>You spend the next few hours doing nothing but looking at porn
Muhdick.jpg
>your cleaning up the mess you made when all of a sudden your mom bursts in
No knocking. typical
>She asks you to help make dinner
>You say you will be right out
>You expect her to leave but she doesn't
Get out of my room you whore
>She waits for you to get up
>There's still seaman on your hands.
>Shit
>You rub your hands together and say its hand sanitizer.
>"Good, now you don't have to wash you hands. i need you to make the meatloaf"
>Not so bad
>"Were making it from scratch so you're going to use your hands to mold the meat in place
rest in spaghetti
>You follow her out into the kitchen, and there is the meat.
>She stands behind you and tells you to shape it.
"Like what?'
>"meatloaf shape"
This bitch
>Reluctantly, you start molding the meat into place
>The seaman is all over the meat no doubt
>You then put it into the oven.
> A while later, your called to the table.
>Your grandparents are there
>"Grandma and Grandpa are eating with us Greg."
CRAWLING IN MY SKIN
>You all sit down and begin eating
>Your grandmother speaks up after a few bites of the seamanloaf
>"This meat loaf is the best ive had in years. Whats your secret?"
>My mom relpies
>"Greg helped make it. I guess it was seasoned with his love eh?"
Absolutely disgusted
>You watch in horror as your whole family eats your seamen laced meatloaf.
>You excuse yourself from the table and go to your room
>Laying down, you realize what just unfolded.
>You go to sleep that night a broken man, physic shattered beyond repair.

Thats my confession.

/)^3^(\

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>>27042934
>>You used to use 4chan years ago
>*sigh*

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>>27042940

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>>27042376
IT WAS ME!
I DID IT!

I TOOK THE HOOVES!

>>27042376
I'LL NEVER TELL YOU WHERE ULFRIC STORMCLOAK IS YOU FILTHY IMPERIAL

Okay okay, I'll confess! I started to like MLP because of EQG!

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My fetish is sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation and I occasionally dabble in hand holding

>>27044315
Lol XD
SOMEONE1 CAP THIS

>>27044315
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODS

I masturbated to the cover of DOA:XBV in a Costco.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5UG7ISJfP0

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>>27042376
Ok, ok. I'll confess. I cried when Optimus Prime died. There, are you happy now.

>>27042376
i meak p0st!

>>27042376
I LIKE CROCHETING

>>27042376
I confess I experimented on creating ponies on an advanced project to create the perfect waifu.

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i'm not a lardass neckbeard with surgically attached fedora as i like to portray myself

>>27042376
Good thing you've saved the board with your fair and sensible moderation, scruffy. This is so show related.

>>27044870
Me neither

>>27042376
I like Undertale.

>>27042376

I trespassed a farm at 3 a.m and copulated with a mare.

>>27044933
My neighbors have a small stable with one mare, and one stallion, but they are kept in separate pins at night. I'v been contemplating doing something like this for months.

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I started off jerkin to Rainbow Dash when the show started then it went to Scootaloo then to Sweetie Belle then to Human Sunset Shimmer then Human Sweetie Belle then to Human Fluttershy with huge breasts now it's Human Celestia with huge breasts
I just don't know what went wrong

Funny thing is I used to like DFC

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>>27045008

Make sure you use clothes you are willing to throw away or clean right after, horsepussy smells and it really sticks on you. I took me 3 days to take the smell out of my genitals, even after showering repeatedly. (It's not a bad smell, but it smells like pussy and it can be noticed by other people).
I wouldn't try to mess around with a setting so close to your home, I am supposing here your neighboors know you. I mean, if you are going to be caught, might as well be by someone who doesn't know who you are, but that's for you to decide.


Horsepussy getting is not something I regret. Not at all.

>>27042975
I love this

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>>27042376
Okay, I want to suck Rarity's huge marecock.

>>27044571
Whoa dude, that sounds like the type of reply that would get into a thread simulator!

>>27042376
One time, I walked in on my son jacking off to ponies. He was covered in his own cum, but passed it off with some kind of dumb excuse. I decided it would be funny and a little hot if I had him make meatloaf for everyone. His grandparents were over that night. When they asked why dinner tasted so good, I told them my son made it with his love. The look on his face was priceless.

After dinner, he scrambled off to his room and I headed back to mine and whipped out my favorite vibe. I never came so hard in my whole life. True story.

>>27042376
I'M THE ONE WHO KILLED THEM ALL I SURVIVED AFTER THE FALL

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I got into the tulpa movement back in 2011, when it was first arising. I have spent around 150 to 180h sitting down in the darkness, meditating, trying to create a living companion, an imaginary friend.
No, it didn't work.

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I am the mod that has been deleting threads. come at me, your anger make me more powerful than you could possibly imagine

>>27045288
Impersonating a mod is against the rules.
Announcing you're a mod is against the rules.

Unforunately announcing a report is against the rules so I'll let others do it for me.

>>27045288

>come at me

I thought you would be tired of people coming into you by now, I guess fags never get tired of cock.

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>>27045288
>This bait

>>27042376
>Mods kill goth fluttershy thread within minutes
>This is alive and near the top of the board
Why is this?

>>27045344

They jack off to attention because that's the only thing they have left.

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>>27042376
I almost dont even like the show any more, im only here for the occasional fanfic and circlejerking here on 4chan.

>>27042376
I samefaged

>>27045610
again

I'm writing a greentext for this. This is my first time writefagging. Does anyone know what the character limit on posts is?

>>27045621
again

>>27045744
darude - sandstorm

>>27045610
again

>>27045744
2000

>>27045808
Thanks, if you want to see the finished product stick around for about 30 more minutes.

Like I said, this is my first time writefagging and I'd appreciate every bit of criticism.

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Shimmer, Glimmer, and Nyx are shit ponies

>>27045188
I kekked

>>27045885
>Implying anyone who matters disagrees

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>>27045885
>He likes canon ponies

>>27045852
Turns out I'm no where near done. If anyone's waiting then be prepared to wait a lot more

I enjoyed Magical Mystery Cure. And I still do to this very day.

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>>27042964
2011. 4chan was created 2003. Problem??

>>27046756
I totally believe you.
This is all very show related.

>>27046240
green done!

>You are Anon.
>You just got back from a picnic with Fluttershy and her woodland friends.
>You were still wondering how she was able to understand all those different critters and how they seemed to understand you when all of a sudden, Pinkie Pie jumps in front of you making you loose your balance.
>"Hi, Anon! I have a thing to show you. Follow me!" she said very quickly.
>As soon as she said that, she started pronking towards Sugarcube Corner.
>You called out for her, still confused about what just happened but she payed you no attention.
>"Might as well see what she wants of me," you thought to yourself as you made your way after Pinkie Pie.
>Upon arriving at Sugarcube corner, you see a table completely filled with all sorts of goodies. From cakes to pies and from muffins to pop-tarts this place had everything you could imagine.
"Whoa, " you said as you saw the pastries. "Is there going to be a party? What are we celebrating?"
>"No, silly!" Pinkie Pie started, "This is for you!"
>You quickly became confused. You had been in Equestria for a while now, and the ponies you made friends with some times surprised you with gifts, but never nothing this big.
>You were aghast. It was difficult coming up with words to express yourself.
"F-For me?" you asked. "I know we sometimes exchange gifts, but this..."
>You were at a loss for words. Pinkie Pie was quick to fill the silence.
>"Oh, this is nothing. Just a little gift for my very best friend Anonymous. Nothing special."
>You were flattered but, something made you question:
"Wait... Best friend?" you interrogated. "Do you really see me like that?"
>"Of course!" Pinkie exclaimed. "You have come such a long way since we met. Back then you wouldn't want to talk to any of us and spend all day alone, but now you've really changed and I think it's only fitting we extend our friendship from just regular friends to besties!"
"Besties?" you queried. "I guess if you want that then I'm all for it."

(cont.)

>>27046840
>You made your way to the table and grabbed a slice of cake. By the color you guessed it was either banana or lemon, both fruits you quite enjoy. You raise the slice to Pinkie and exclaim:
"To friendship!"
>"To friendship!" she happily screams as you take a bite.
>You two spend the next hour and a half chatting and eating the delicious baked goods Pinkie prepared. You never hate cake that good, nor homemade ice cream that creamy. The food in your mouth felt like pieces of Heaven.
>Once you were full, you two spent a short while talking about all sorts of stuff. You talked about your friends, Equestria, the princesses, magic and anything else that came up. You were about to thank Pinkie for this wonderful evening when she stepped up to you and said:
>"This was a wonderful evening and I'm glad I shared it with you. But..."
>You could detect something was wrong. Pinkie's voice sounded dull. Like she was gonna say something she might regret. You quickly interjected:
"What's wrong? Is there something you want to tell me?"
>"I have a favor to ask you, Anonymous," she finally said. "I want to ask you a question."
"Oh, sure!" you said as you sat down on a chair. "Feel free to ask anything."
>Pinkie Pie moved with the speed of a hurricane. In less than a second she had locked the doors, turned the lights off, lowered the blinds, grabbed a spotlight, pointed it towards your face and turned it on. She moved close to you and, with the strength of full grown stallion, she shouted:
>"I want you to confess!"

(cont.)

>>27046808
Haha, too late dude, I'm going to tell everyone I know irl that you had sex with your sister.

>>27046860
>Sweat was running down your face. Here you were having the time of your life in front of your friend— No, your best friend, and now you're being interrogated.
>"So?" Pinkie asked. "I said I want you to confess!"
>You were trapped. There was no place you could go. Pinkie thought of everything. You know what she wanted you to say. The question is: Will you say it?
>The clock is ticking and Pinkie is getting impatient. She had been walking around you for quite some time. You couldn't take it much longer.
>"Well?" Pinkie questioned. "You know what I want to hear, so spit it out!" she yelled.
>The stress was too much for you to bear and so, not being able to hold it in any longer, you spilled the beans:
"I'm the one who peed in the water fountain! I'm so sorry. I really had to go and I thought it would be a fun prank. Please forgive me, will you?"
>Pinkie was shocked. She never thought you would be capable of anything like that. However, something told you this was not the answer she was looking for.
>"No!" said Pinkie as she shook her head violently as go erase some mental images. "That is not what I wanted. You know very well what it is I'm looking for, Anon!"
>You were baffled. That wasn't what she was looking for? You had no idea what else she could be after. Unless... Oh, no. Could she really be after -that-?
>"So?" Pinkie retried. "Are you going to tell me what I want or do I have to take extreme measures?"
>You really didn't want to say it. However, something told you you wanted to see Pinkie's 'extreme measures' even less; so, with all your breath, you splurted out:
"I'm the one who milked Milky Way while she was asleep! I just wanted to know what teats felt like, even if just for once in my life!"

(cont.)

I stopped watching the show around the start of season 3. The only recent episode I watched was The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone because I heard Gilda was coming back.

>>27046872
>Pinkie was clearly mad at you. How could anyone do that to a poor innocent pony? However, that as well was not what she was looking for.
>"Anonymous!" she shouted. "How could you? Such a poor mare and you do these things! I never wanted to hear that! How... How could you?!"
"I'm sorry..." you sobbed.
>Pinkie retries:
>"About our friends. Twilight, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash."
"Yes?" you managed to say in between sobs.
>"What do you know about them?" she questioned.
"Only that they're my friends and I really like them..." you answered, still sobbing.
>"And?" Pinkie adds.
"And I love them..." you said.
>"And?" she tries again.
"And, and... And I masturbate to them!" you shout while tears fill your eyes. Pinkie was aghast. She never imagined the things you did when you were alone.
>"You... Them... Ah... Wha-What?!" she is able to to ask.
"And I masturbate to you!" you added. Pinkie was completely bewildered. Lewd thoughts run on her head, thoughts she quickly tried to shake off.
>"I... I never thought... You felt like that. Towards us... Towards me..."
"Well..." you managed to say while crying. "Now you do..."
>"I'm so sorry I put you under so much pressure. I just wanted to know about why the others were avoiding me. I never meant to cause you this much harm," she said as she wraps her arms around you.
>"I'm sorry, Anon. I never should have put you under so much pressure," she acknowledged. "Here, let me walk you to Twilight's castle. And you can take some of the cakes too."
"Thank you, Pinkie. But I think I can get there myself," you answered. "And feel free to keep the cakes. I'm not very hungry."
>With that, you said your goodbyes and left Sugarcube corner.

(cont.)

>>27045078
That only makes me want it more.
Imagine going to work smelling like pussy everyday.

>>27046883
>You were back at Twilight's Castle, ready to settle down for the night You decided not to tell anyone about what happened between you and Pinkie. It's best for everyone if what you said is kept secret
>You were about to lie down when Twilight knocks on your door. You invite her in. She is carrying a letter. She said it's for you and, although it doesn't say who wrote it you could smell the scent of cupcakes when you hold it. Twilight didn't seem to notice it. You placed the letter on your bedside table and told Twilight you'll read it in the morning
>After Twilight left it's just you, the letter and a little hooded lamp It was almost midnight and you decided to open the letter. The envelope's white with a light cupcake scent. As you open it, the smell gets stronger. Inside is a pink piece of paper folded into three parts. As you unfold you see balloon stickers decorating the edges of the paper The letter read:
>"I'm really sorry for what I made you go trough. I hope I can make it up to you somehow.
>If you want to be more than best friends, please meet me by the fountain at midnight.
>Signed: Pinkamena Diane Pie (Pinkie)
>PS: Attached is an object you might want"
>You looked inside the envelope. Surely enough, inside it there was another object: A square packet. You knew too well what this was despite not seeing one since you arrived on Equestria
>You thought to yourself: "What could she be thinking to be sending me condoms? She's not into me, is she?" You took a pause. "Is she?"
>You refolded the letter and placed it in the envelope. You quickly got dressed and pocketed the condom and the letter, and stealthily made your way out of the castle without waking anyone up
>You made your way to the fountain. Hard to believe you won't become a wizard after all. You wonder if horses counted. But that wasn't important
>On your way, you could only think about one thing. So much, you said it out loud:
"I wonder if horse pussy smells..."

The End

>>27046928
Sorry for punctuation in this last one, I had to delete some periods so I could stay within the character limit.

Anyway, this is my first time writefagging so feel free to provide criticism even if negative.

>>27046950
Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/vC5xrbtk

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>>27042940
I laughed so hard I got dizzy

>>27046928
Please continue

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CONFESS! CONFESS! CONFESS!

>>27047474
I was thinking about writing a full sex scene but I had no idea on how to follow it up, so I decided to just end it like that.
I'm quite happy with what I did and I have no intention of adding to it.

>>27047498
this was my first thought too.

>>27047499
Is there even a clopfic based on that scene?

>>27042741
Who doesn't?

>>27047592
didn't know any so just did a google search for "mlp clopfic spike pinkie pie"

very first link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8658529/1/Spike-s-Pinkie-Pie

>>27047607
Not I, furfag.

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>>27047645
>fanfiction.net

>>27046928
NICE

I regularly allow mares to urinate on me.

>>27047679
Would explain why nobody ever reads my night will last forever in the feels threads but always pay attention to the image that goes with it.
We get it fimficton is shit but there are a few good things in there people don't be afraid to read them.

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>>27047679
Woah, hold up! I take it back!
I haven't been to that site in years cause it was filled with pre teen written garbage.

But that was pretty damn good desu senpai.

>>27047745
Oh wait it's fanficton not fimficton
My point still stands it's just not that relevent here

>>27042376
I once had a dream where I was to nervous to ask Lauren Faust and Ashleigh Ball for autographs at a Con and when I went to the restroom it was full of Russians squatting around doing nothing.

Why must you make me remember such horrid thoughts, ponk?

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>>27047977
Why is this so funny?