Dirty Work (Thread 14)

>Both you and Sharp sit bolt upright at once, knocking your heads against each other in the process.
>”Ow!”
>Comes a whine from both of you.
>Wincing and confused, you scramble for the alarm clock in a daze.
>Right as your hoof is about to land on “snooze,” something yanks you in the opposite direction, and you end up slapping the bit of desk just in front of it.
>You’ve been entangled in the covers, and said linen is steadily disappearing off Sharp’s side of the bed.
“N-No!”
>You stammer in futility as you tumble over the side, scrambling like a swimmer at the edge of a waterfall.
>After a short fall you plop lightly onto Sharp, who’s buried under the covers beneath you.
>”T-Tally?”
>She moans in pain,
>”W-Why’s everything dark? Where am I?”
>But you ignore her questions for the moment, instead crying
“I can fix it!”
>And hopping off her to scramble across the room.
>It’s a slippery and bleary trip around the bed, but you just barely manage it.
>Finally, you slam your hoof onto the alarm clock with as much prejudice as you can muster.
"That’s what you get for hurting Sharp…”
>You mumble angrily and absurdly to it before stumbling back over to your roomie.
>You peel the covers off her, and she covers her eyes with her hooves to let them adjust to the light flooding the room.
>After they do, she moves her hooves to her side and awkwardly props herself up, rubbing her head.
>”W-What happened there?”
>She mumbles,
“Alarm clock got us, but don’t worry, I fixed it.”
>You say proudly.
>Sharp gives you a puzzled look,
>”Why’d you set an alarm? You’ve never had one before.”
”Well, I thought it’d be good to help me get up in time for wo—“
>You take a big gulp,
”W-Work today.”
>You'd forgotten entirely.
>Judging by the clock, you’ve got 20 minutes to eat breakfast, get dressed, and wash up, and another 10 afterwards to gallop over.
>What first?

>input action

>>27027249
7 minute shower, 1 minute brushing your teeth, 3 minutes doing your hair, 3 minutes of dressing up, 5 minute milk and cereal, 59 seconds looking over yourself in the mirror, tightly hugging Sharp goodbye, wishing her a good morning, and heading out the door.

10 minutes and 1 second to get to work.

>>27027447
>Today, you've got a plan.
>You quickly rush to the shower and slide in before Sharp has time to right herself.
>Normally she steals the hot water, but today the tables are turned.
>After your steamy adventure, you spare a moment for a quick brushie-brushie of your pearly whites.
>Sharp only allows you to get one kind of toothpaste, "Colgate's Fresh Shine."
>After that, time for a little mane and tail.
>Brushing, drying, puffing it out and making it falls just above your withers.
>While you're doing this, Sharp practically slumps into the shower, ignoring you.
>Then it's out the bathroom and over to the closet, where you spend a split second fumbling for a collared shirt and tie.
>You also could have sworn you only had one tie a few months ago, the last time you'd needed to wear one.
>The next leg of your panicked work prep is food, rushing to the kitchen and pouring yourself some milk and cereal.
>Nothing fancy today, oats and milk.
>And when you've shoveled the last of them into our mouth, you run off back to the bathroom mirror and inspect yourself one last time.
>After straightening your tie, you nod happily to yourself.
>You're ready.

>Now happily chomping away at cereal of her own, Sharp gets a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek before you head out.
>Just a little less than 10 minutes and 1 second to get to work.
>Organization sure is a pain, you're not sure how long you'd be able to keep such an planned out schedule like that.
>Thoughts for another time.

>>27027613
>You eventually arrive at the consulting building and head inside, waved through by reception.
>At the moment, you've been hired to help with an addition to Canterlot Castle, an update to their current way of dealing with foreign dignitaries.
>It's a banquet hall/hotel in a way, but with a bungalow sort of feel.
>As you scan through today's work, it seems for the moment you have nothing but paperwork/budget reduction to review, a rather dull but required task.
>Construction for the building is beginning soon, at which point you'll be switching back and forth between office work and supervising.
>You've also got a meeting about "safety measures" at 10, but that's not for an hour so you've got plenty of time.
>In fact, you're feeling kind of lonely at this new gig.
>New place, may as well get out there and find some ponies to talk to.
>Across the hall, you can spot a trio of mares at the floor's water cooler, chatting amongst themselves.
>If you weren't really considering talking to them, you could always head to the lounge and try your luck.
>Or, get to the grindstone and tough out loneliness until the meeting, it's only an hour anyhow.

>input action

>>27027630
To the watercoooler, let's see if we can make some friends and find a cute mare to hit on

>>27027654
>You decide to head over to the water cooler, don't see why they wouldn't enjoy being a quartet.
>And they're kinda cute too, which is certainly a positive.
>One is an earth mare, one a pegasus and one a unicorn.
>The unicorn mare is a deep green with dark, almost brownish red hair and a flatly cut mane, and an explosion for her cutie mark.
>The pegasus is cream colored with a sleek green mane that runs along her neck, sporting a rather slender but toned figure (and a level for her buttmark)
>Finally, the earth mare wears a brown coat and has a messy white mane with streaked red highlights and a hammer cutiemark.
>As you approach, you discover them to be talking about the weather.
>Guess every did just arrive for the day, and it's a conversation starter.
>"So, I'm annoyed about the downdrafts today."
>Huffs the pegasus,
>"Going to make getting home a lot harder."
>The earth pony gives her a small nudge,
>"I'm more worried about the heat. High of 92? That's insane for spring, we shouldn't be getting this weather until summer!"
>She moans incredulously to nobody in particular.
>When you've reached the cooler itself, conversation stops and the earth pony extends a hoof.
>"Oh, hey? You're new aren't you? Just ah, I'm Roxxy, our burd friend is Velix and ol' bonehead is Gelignyte."
>After she finishes, the other two mares both extend hooves, leaving you with three options.
>"Pleasure to meet you!"

>input action

>>27027785
We super ded today damn
Greet the pegasus first, she sounds like she's the hottest, then the unicorn then the erf
Tell them your name and all that, then ask them what they do around here

>>27027785
Shake the hooves left to right.
Become worried Sharpie is rubbing off on us.

>>27027949
>>27028007
I think it's just the time of night.
>You reach for the pegasus's hoof first, and she gives you a small smile.
>The other two follow in turn and you soon introduce yourself as
"Tally Forward! It's ah, great to meet such friendly ponies! And yes, I am rather new here..."
>Wait, why did you shake their hooves left to right?
>Are Sharp's ways rubbing off on you?
>Before you can ponder that any longer, the three nod, and the pegasus in particular speaks up,
>"Me too, just got in yesterday. Assuming you were part of the same group I was?"
"Oh, I think so..."
>You assume, happy to have something in common with her
>"Well, Roxxy and Jelly have been showing me the ropes, least while we're not working."
>Roxxy gives Gelignyte a look before shrugging,
>"Want to come along for lunch? We can get to know each other, we've all practically just met. 'Cept me and Jelly, but we've never really talked much. It'll be fun!"
>She asks, looking you expectantly.

>input action

>>27028049
Sounds perfect. Where do you normally go?

>>27028049
Sounds great

>>27028079
>>27028809
"Sounds great! Where do you guys usually go?"
>You ask cheerfully, and the two senior mares look back to you.
>Roxxy is the first to speak again,
>"Ah, I have a resident sushi bar I hang out in. But we can go to whatever Jelly had in mind, I don't have a prefrence."
>Jelly laughs,
>"Well, I was thinking something much more boring. Shown us your sushi bar, so we can judge your taste in restaurant fare."
>In rsponse, Roxxy bites her lip nervously,
>"Y-You got it!"
>She smiles falsely, and retreats into a world of her own for the moment.

>"Well, guess I'll head off!"
>Your pegasus says happily,
>"See you at lunch!"
>The unicorn points to the cooler as she walks off,
>"Meet back here for lunch, okay?"
>and you and Vellix chirp back in affirmitives.
"You got it!"
>"Okay!"
>Before both those members of your new company head out.
>Now, your company at the water cooler with a distracted Roxxy.
>From the left, a single stallion is approaching.
>He's a dull red with a orangey mane, looking more downwards than in front if him as he makes his way over.

>input action

Goddamn it. We finally get to play as Tally and you run during lich hours. Give me a moment to read all this and then I'm going to play the shit out of this.

>>27028954
Aaaaaand done.

>>27028945
Greet him with a friendly hello and invitation to join you if it looks like he's coming to the water cooler, or just a slight nod and wave if he is just passing by.

>>27028945
"Don't worry Roxxy, she was just kidding. I'm sure it's a nice place."
We should introduce ourself to the stallion too.

>>27028999
>>27029000
"Don't worry Roxxy, she way just kidding with you..."
>You say in an attempt to break her from this state,
>Thankfully, it's successful,
>"Sorry I just d-don't..."
>She stops and shakes her head,
>"I don't like disappointing ponies."
>For another moment, she looks rather down in the dumps, but quickly brightens to a happy smile.
>"Well, I, good to meet you Tally, sorry about that. Guess I'll see you for lunch!"
>She says as she trots off,
>Bit eccentric she is, but you've got experience with that by the bucketful.

>After she leaves, you wave hello to the new stallion,
"Hiya! Want to join me?"
>You ask cheerfully, and the stallion gives you a rather confused look.
>"I... Thank you! Or, I-Bah."
>He grabs a drink and afterwards, extends a hoof,
>His cutiemark is a keypad,
>"Studded Buttons."
>He mentions, then flexes his extended hoof and in a self-deprecating manner laughs,
>"Quite the stud as you can see."
"Tally Forward."
>You say back, and he raises an eyebrow in response,
>"And by your name, are you a forward sort of mare?"

>input action

>>27029163
I suppose. I do kinda like to just dive headfirst into things.

>>27029163
I guess. I don't like to hesitate at least...

>>27029163
I guess you could say that.

>>27029339
>>27029242
>>27029221
"Guess you could say that... I'm not one to hesitate."
>You muse idly, and the stallion grins in response,
>"Oh, really? Well, guess I did pretty good there. You new?"
>You nod, probably going to get that a lot over the next few days
>"Yeah, hadn't seen you around before..."
>There's a bit of an awkward silence before he continues,
>"So what do you think of the place so far, or the job itself?"
"Oh, it's fine. First job I've had in a while, so I suppose that's a positive."
>He nods,
>"I once was out of a job for four months, not a pleasant experience. How'd you deal with it?"
>You laugh,
"Well, I've got my roommate who keeps me sane by being just the opposite. At least at times. She's a really nice gal though, helped pay when we were scrounging for bits every day. And while she's an absolute clean freak and can't have things organized in any way other than the way she deems correct, I can manage her eccentricities for her good times. And even her eccentricities are sometimes the good times too, she really is a great mare."
>Buttons grins,
>"Lucky you, my old roommate sold counterfeit bits out of our apartment and nearly got me arrested more than a couple times. Wasn't really a fun guy looking back on it either, ended up in jail for a year or two. Doubt he'll do that sort of thing again."

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>>27030408
Yikes. I hope it works out for you

>>27030408
Counterfeit bits, huh? I guess that would explain that one time my change from the grocery store had Queen Chrysalis on it.

>>27030408
Wow, sounds like a real swell guy.

>>27030408
please don't be someone Sharpie works with

>>27030578
>>27030633
>>27030700
"Sounds like a swell guy. Also explains that time I got Queen Chrysalis on my change at the grocery store."
>Buttons shrugs,
>"Very well could have been him, I was never in on the whole operation. Not that I wanted to be of course, that's just a path I'd rather avoid in life."
>You nod,
"Agreed. That sort of thing's a slippery slope."
>He stretches out and chugs he last of his water before tossing his cup to the trash can.
>He misses and grumbles as he trots over to pick it up and trash it.
>"Well, nice to meet you Tally. See you later."
>He says with a small salute as he ducks out, leaving you in solitude with a cup of lukewarm water.
>Now, you could head over to the employee lounge and see if there's anypony to waste more time with, or maybe get to work.
>Wouldn't like to be out and about if your boss decided to check in on you so early in the morning.

>input action

>>27031060
Let's get to work.

>>27031060
To work.

>>27031060
To the grindstone!

>>27031092
>>27031110
>You decide to head back to your cubical and get to work.
>If your boss does make an appearence, it'll make a good impression.
>Or at least not a bad one.
>For about an hour, you paper push per usual, greeting your boss as he passes.
>He wasn't specifically looking out for you, but was surprised by your friendliness, and gives you a grin in return.
>When the clock hits 10, you stand, stretch, and follow the few other ponies milling about to a meeting room.
>You and maybe about 15 other ponies sit at a long oval table, at the end of which stands one stallion with a board, and a number of stacked slides.
>The meeting begins without much fanfare after a chubby stallion who seems to be in charge shushes everyone.
>The stallion at the end if the table begins to speak, and showing off a number of different slides about the planned safety features for the project.
>While it's presenting most of these features in a positive light, you notice that there's a good deal of information left intentionally vague when it comes to things like compensation, injury pay, and the actual safety measures during construction.
>It doesn't seem malicious, just negligent.
>The stallion also prides this plan on saving a good deal of money over the proposed, standard method of safety management (most likely from the subtle cuts that've been made).
>Again, you'd expected this already, but what to do about it?
>Around the table, you notice most of the ponies around the table are nodding along with his plan, either oblivious to its flaws or waiting to speak up.
>Espicially happy looking are a pair of older stallions sitting next to the chubby stallion, each in a rather dapper looking suit.
>At the moment, the stallion's about three quarters of the way through his slides, at the moment talking about how they plan to increase worker reliability, better working conditions and minimize on the job accidents.

>input action

>>27031451
>minimize on the job accidents
Let's see if we can push for more details.

>>27031451
Raise our hand

Sir, pardon me, I have some concerns about the proposed safety protocols. I can understand that cutting safety measures would save money in the short term and would speed up construction if nothing goes wrong, but we need to look at the other side.
What if something does go wrong due to negligence in safety? We could get sued, bring construction to a halt, and create a mess.

>>27031574
This, but sandwich it inbetween some compliments about how nice the plan is, but counld be even better.

>>27031574
Are you sure we should be that direct? Pointing out the cutting of safety measures and calling them out on their negligence would paint a target on our back.

>>27031595
This.

>>27031574
>>27031595
Business types only think about money. If we want to convince them to change their minds than we'll need to word our argument in a way that points out the potential losses of this gamble. Slowing down of work, potential investigations, medical expenses, the need to hire new workers, the potential to damage the company's reputation and thus making it harder to get work in the future.

Should be back in about an hour.

>>27031740
Fair point. Rephrase it to sound a little less judgemental and a little more clinical, just focused on the monetary concerns. I still think sandwiching it in a compliment might make it go over better, though.

>>27031765
>>>>>>>>>>>>an hour

>>27032873
>Trusting a QM's sense of time

>>27031451
The main issue with lowered safety measures is that, even if medical payments or compensation are avoided, other costs can quickly spiral.
A heightened possibility of injury can lead to a loss of labor, with in turn leads to having to hire replacements and train them.
If news of the accident or accidents spreads, then this hiring and training process becomes harder, as the more professional and experienced workers in the industry will have no interest in the job.
This leads to a drop in the quality of work the company is providing on top of the lost labor, which can damage the companies reputation further and effect its ability to gain contracts in the future.
This scheme to save money ultimately relies upon everyone on the sites being smart and responsible, and there isn't a construction site anywhere that doesn't get at least one moron on it at some point.

>>27031574
>>27031595
>>27031622
>>27031740
>>27031853
>You raise a hoof and politely wait for the stallion to call on you,
"Now, I'm liking the majority of this plan so far and truly appriciate the work you've obviously put into it, but I do think it could be made better."
>You start off with a compliment, hoping to avoid slapping a target on your back.
>Time to appeal to any investors in the room.
"Again, only my opinion, but I was thinking about how this plan includes either the cutting of or vague implementation of safety measures. Now, I understand this would save a lot of money short term and speed up construction, but without them, if somepony gets hurt we could end up with lost production days, investigations, medical bills, or even a lawsuit on our hooves that would require both money short term and long term. Not using proper safety procedures is a gamble on our money and time, for a marginal gain but at a huge risk."
>You pause to let that sink in for a moment.
"But again, other than those flaws I find the plan to be rather extensive and only wished to add my opinion."
>You rest your case.
>And sirprisingly, nobody seems mad.
>Save the stallion at the front.
>The two suited stallions are now looking a little uncomfortable, whispering quietly to each other.
>"I'll take that into consideration..."
>Mutters the presenter before continuing on with the rest of his plan.
>His ending consists of "savings this, savings that," and was ineffectual at disproving any of the points you made, which makes you happy.
>It was easier than you thought it'd be to make an arguement for safer practices, even if there's going to be corner cutting.
>That's just business.
>The meeting wraps up, points are exchanged and you make to return to your cubicle.
>The stallion who gave his presentation is in a heated conversation with the two stallions in suits, but as he notices your exit makes a beeline to follow after you.

>input action

>>27032873
S-Sorry

>>27033067
If he wants to talk to us, let him.

Yes sir, can I help you?

>>27033067
>inb4 hurr durr made me look bad so now I'll pretend you did something wrong
Just listen to whatever he has to say. If he spouts bullshit we can just nod and then promptly forget about it.

>>27033093
This. Also make sure that we aren't alone for this little chat. A witness will keep him from trying anything funny.

>>27033067
I'm kind of tempted to hold up a hoof to the presenter, say "I'll be right with you in just a minute" and then walk past him and introduce ourself to the two suited stallions.

Probably a bad idea, though.

>>27033213
Yeah, let's not.

>>27033222
I know. I wasn't actually suggesting we do that. What >>27033093 and >>27033177 said is much better. I just felt the temptation to stick it to him, although I realize that's not something to actually act on.

>>27033177
This.

Also, I think speaking out was a bad idea. I think that despite our attempts, we do have a rather large bullseye on us now.

Funny, Tally is going to get fired for doing the RIGHT things, while Sharpie is being super successful by doing the WRONG things.

>>27033367
I doubt we're going to get fired for this.

We'll just have to keep our head down and work hard the next couple of days.

>>27033367
We only made one enemy. Everyone else probably appreciated the fact that we are trying to help.

>>27033417
>We only made one enemy
Maybe, maybe not. Up to three, and the ones we made are the most powerful ponies.

>>27033402
I hope you're right.

>>27033417
This is a good point. We voiced a concern that a lot of people had, if what Tally told Sharp was true.

>>27033426
I doubt we made enemies of the two in the suits. Their enemy is whoever they think will cost them the most money, and I think that's more likely to be the presenter than us, right now.

>>27033430
I hadn't even remembered that conversation, but you're right. Maybe we made an enemy, but I bet we also made a number of friends.

>>27033093
>>27033126
>>27033177
>You stop in the hallway and wait for him to catch up, making sure to stay in sight of the meeting room.
>He bares his teeth at you, to which you give a nonplussed look of apathy,
>"W-What are you doing?"
>He grunts,
"The right and most profitable thing."
>"But Canterlot isn't giving us a whole lot of funding to get this job done, I'm trying to minimize costs as best I can! I finally get a plan working and you come in and just..."
>He then sets his jaw and trots off.
>Weird.
>No matter what he thinks, you've done the best thing for all those construction workers.
>You return to your desk and look through more budget papers,
>Most are having to do with this stallion's grand plan, which also means they'll probably be scrapped and have to be redone.
>But you don't mind.
>Lunchtime just can't come quick enough.
We can return to Tally later if desired.
>It took all morning and a lot of arguing between Kis and Nel, but the trap is finally set.
>Skye is leading Trip Wire to the house as you speak.
>Nel is stationed in the hall to talk to her and drag her in, Farthing is with her, helping out with knocking out the officer.
>Melior is upstairs with an angle on the outdoors of the house, and the carriage is in place in the getaway alley.
>Everything is under control.
>"Twitch?"
>Comes an urgent Skye over the coins.
>"We're getting close. I've made this seem very urgent with some subtle hints, so he's made a couple of mistakes. Haven't let him catch on that I know he's tailing, but he's not being quiet about it, let me tell you."
"Just keep him coming."
>Soon enough, at the end of the road, you can spot Skye out of the few ponies milling about at this time.
>Rushing to follow is the officer, wearing a large coat.
>She makes her way to the front entrance and stops, where the officer quickly slips backwards and takes a seat on a nearby bench, watching from across the street.
>"Showtime Twitch?"
>Skye whispers.

>input action

>>27033884
Wait just a moment, we need to minimize witnesses.

Go the moment none of the people around are looking at the house.

>>27033884
You should've just let us go through Tally's day and then went back to do Sharpie's.

>>27033954
Is that so? We can skip back just a teensy bit and head back over to Tally's lunch break if you would prefer that to an interruption.

>>27033884
w-wew, scene transition
She can go, just try to arrive in a quiet moment.
So long as he's busy, we might be able to distract witnesses ourself if absolutely necessary.
Maybe pretending to faint near some of them.

>>27034007
>Skye is leading Trip Wire to the house as you speak.
It would allow us to get the important bits from both of their days if we don't keep the time passing linearly.

>>27034100
Forgot to delete that first part.

>>27034091
We don't want to attract the attention of the cop, though.
Fainting might bring him over to us, and we don't want that.

>>27034007
Nah, let's do this, then go to Tally's lunch break.

>>27034121
That was what the "so long as he's busy" part meant.

>>27033884
What >>27033940 said.

>>27034007
Either way. I really enjoyed Tally for a change. I hope we get to control them both periodically in the future.

>>27034129
That can work to and it wouldn't need any rewrites.

>>27034129
Endorsed.

>>27033940
>>27034091
>>27034121
>>27034138
>>27034211
"Wait until there's as few ponies around as possible, then make the move."
>From outside, you watch Skye put on an act of nervousness, raising her hoof to the door, putting it back down.
>Glancing around in paranoia, pacing in circles, biding her time for the perfect moment.
>Skye really is quite the actress.
>At a time when there's only two ponies on the street save her and the officer, she makes her move.
>She knocks on the door, and after a moment, Nel opens it in response for the two to have their argument.
>You can hear it clearly from downstairs, they'd been planning their words since this morning.
>"You lying cheapskates! I waste my weekend cleaning up your shit and you repay me like this? You'll pay, I swear."
>Skye snaps, turning around and sticking her nose to the sky.
>At that moment, Nel cracks her over the head with the club in a rather convincing manner.
>Skye slumps to the floor, and Nel drags her inside, shutting the door gently behind her.
>Outside, Trip Wire is panicking.
>His eyes are wide and he's fumbling for something in his jacket.
>Once he finds whatever he's looking for, he swiftly begins approaching the house.
>Behind you, Skye is scrambling up the stairs with a wild smile on her face,
>"That was so fun!"
>She squees, and takes a place next to you.

>input action

>>27034335
Nice work, both of you. Look alive, this is what counts.

>>27034335
Smile, nod, and quietly hold a hoof up in indication that we should try to keep quiet.

>>27034335
Alright. Careful now, he could be armed so we need this to go very smoothy.

>>27034377
>>27034385
>>27034412
>You whisper,
"Nice work both you you. Nel and Farthing, look alive. He's probably armed, so be careful. This is what cou—."
>You're interupted by a cracking of wood, as the front door splinters in front of you.
>Skye and you quickly duck and cover as Farthing and Nel get to work, a cacophany of grunts and groans coming from below.
>As he came through the door, the plan was for Nel to throw him to the floor and Farthing to hold a chloroform rag over his face.
>From the scuffle below, it sounds like it's not going as smoothly as planned.
>But, after a short while, you hear a final grunt and the splintering of wood once again, then risk a peek over the edge of the stairs.
>Farthing and Nel have him pinned to the floor with the rag over his face, both with a cut or two across their faces and hooves.
>You hurridly toss the rope and tape down, and Nel/Farthing get to work on hogtying and gagging the cop.
>You, Skye and Melior escape out the back, with a bundled up Trip coming out shortly after, where he's seated in the back between Nel and Farthing.

>The ride back is uneventful, save for when Trip wakes up and tries screaming for help through his gag.
>Blind, deaf and mute to the world is where he is right now, sitting pretty between his captors.
>Both Nel and Farthing are injured, Nel with two slices on her face and a punctured hoof, Farthing with a single slice on his face but many many more on his hooves.
>Their pain has to wait though, the decision now is whether to take him in through the front entrance, or the back.
>Front is quicker but more conspicuous.
>You'll have a harder time getting into the back (and getting Trip out of the car), but once he's out it's a safter trip into the bar, where likely nopony will see you.

>input action

>>27034672
The back. Definitely the back.

>>27034672
Back. We can't afford to compromise the bar. We should get out and go tell Kis we've got him. Maybe someone inside can help.

>>27034672
Back, the place still functions like a bar after all.

>>27034672
Nel's getting the biggest extra cut, followed by Skye, then Farthing.

Nel for both great acting and good work at subduing the target, Skye for stellar acting and work with her tail, and Farthing for involvement in taking him down.

Melior didn't have to do anything except watch, so he doesn't get an extra cut.

>>27034756
That's for later anon. We need to finish the job first.

>>27034756
He gets the smallest cut since he was the backup plan.

>>27034701
>>27034702
>>27034729
>You direct Melior to the back and facilitate his entrance through the back.
>You and Skye form a wall to the street to block the limp body Nel and Farthing are carrying, and Melior opens doors on the way inside.
>In the back room, Nel and Farthing dump Trip unceremoniously onto the floor, Nel giving him a kick for good measure.
>He grunts from behind the tape, but makes no other movements.
>Kis catches sight of the five of you and comes out all smiles.
>"Quite the planner aren't you Twitch."
>She says with a wink and a hug,
>"We were rooting for you guys back here and I'm glad you all pulled through. We do have to get him upstairs though, Nel, will you do the honors?"
>Nel grumbles as she and Farthing drag Trip up the stairs and into Speckle's room.
>Outside, Kis yawns,
>"So, are you looking to start the interrogation right away, or should we let them stew a while? I'd prefer sooner rather than later, but a day or a few hours won't hurt them."

>input action

>>27035453
Now, before they can acclimatize to the new situation.

>>27035476
Yep.

>>27035453
Also when we get up there, make sure that Nel and Farthing search the shit out of him.
I don't want him trying to escape too.

>>27035476
>>27035505
Yes and yes.

>>27035476
>>27035505
>>27035592
"Now, before Trip has time to acclimatize to the situation. And Farthing? Get the coat off of him and search him good."
>He nods and heads back into the room, coming back out with the stallion's coat and a handgun.
>"Lucky he didn't use this on us..."
>He muses, and Nel's eyes widen.
>After they've been cleared of weaponary, Nel and Farthing untie the pair's hind legs and prop them against the back wall of the room.
>After this preperation, Kis smirks at your blindfolded captives, and makes a small motion to them.
>Their gags are still on, but their earplugs are out.

>input action

>>27036004
Let's still keep our image as the nice girl.

I'm really sorry about the way you've been treated so far, Trip. Let's get that gag out.

>>27036004
Hello Trips. Sorry about the rough treatment earlier, but that should be the last of that.

>>27036004
Say "oh my, what did you do to the poor guy?" From across the room, then walk over to him and say the nice stuff about how sorry we are for how he's been treated.

>>27036243
That's not really the image we were painting. We're not a pushover, remember?

>>27036171
>>27036203
>>27036243
>>27036274
"O-Oh! What'd you do to the guy?"
>You say in fake surprise and dismay, rushing over and patting Trip's cheek.
"I said keep it gentle, that was a bit too forceful."
>You sigh and shake your head,
"Shucks, I... Well, I'm sorry for all the rough treatment Trip, that's all behind us."
>Upon hearing Trip, Speckle straightens up and begins muffling through his gag,
"Not yet Speckle, Trip's going first right now. Let's get that gag off you."
>You say soothingly as you undo his mouth.
>"A-Augh... Rough indeed."
>He grumbles before falling silent.

>input action

>>27036292
That doesn't make us a pushover, just sympathetic. And what image? This is the first time we've met him. How we handle this guy doesn't have to be anything like how we handled his partner. Different ponies.

>>27036478
Are you okay?
Also, does anyone remember what we wanted to know from him?

>>27036479
His partner is right there.

>>27036478
Now then. Here's how it's going to work. I just want you to answer my questions truthfully. I just need to know what you know. Do that and nopony here will hurt you.

I know that you've been following Skye.. What have you found out about her?

>>27036506
So? We can still try to be sympathetic, and we can still approach them both a little differently, within reason.

>>27036519
I like that, but maybe it would be better if that came from someone other than us, since we're so good at being the good cop. Let someone harsher do all that first, then jump in and let him be more willing to talk to us.

>>27036524
So keep it consistent. We are an authority. A nicer one, but still.

>>27036603
Fair enough. We should make an effort not to be a pushover, while still giving off the appearance of caring for how they are treated.

>>27036551
Also a good idea. Bad cop goes first.

Who's bad cop? Nel?

>>27036489
>>27036519
>>27036524
>>27036551
>>27036603
>>27036656
>You nod to Nel and have her approach, whispering to her,
"Get them to answer truthfully."
>She nods, and limps over, then grabs Trip's chin.
>"Listen here, bud. Here's how this is going to work. You're going to answer any questions asked of you truthfully, we just need to know what you know. Can you do that for me?"
>No response.
>Nel grits her teeth,
>"I said, can you do that for me?"
>Again, no response.
>She tries to wind up an hit him, but whines a little from standing on her injured leg and puts the hoof down.

>input action

>>27037121
Trip, you'll be here longer than necessary if you don't talk to us.

>>27037121
They can't see us. Hit him for Nel, then gasp and exclaim "Not so hard! I'm sure he'll cooperate!"

>>27037207
That might be too much. Tone it back on the sympathy just a little when he's uncooperative.

>>27037219
Okay, but we can still give him the hit and let him think it was Nel.

>>27037238
Yes.

>>27037197
>>27037207
>>27037219
>>27037238
>>27037251
>After Nel gives you a pained look, you take a deep breath.
>Hitting somepony isn't exactly something you're cut out to do.
>But you steady your resolve and bite your lip.
>For the good of the team.
>Your hoof slams across his face twice, buffeting each of his cheeks once.
>After, shaking a little, you stammer out,
"G-Goodness, not so hard! I'm sure he'll co-operate, just give him time!"
>Nel, now realizing your plan, bends down close to his face,
>"Answer. Can you do that for me?"
>She asks sweetly, but tinged with malice.
>Trip sighs, and shakes his head.
>"That depends on what you want to know."

>input action

>>27037423
I want to know about that pony you were following today. Skye.

How long have you been following her, where does she go most often. Everything you know, I want to know.
The more you cooperate, the more quickly we can get this sorted.

>>27037460
>Before Nel can speak again, you butt in.
"I want to know about that pony you were following today, Skye. How long have you been following her, where does she go most often. Everything you know, I want to know. The more you cooperate, the more quickly we can get this sorted.
>Trip laughs,
>"Skye... I've been following her more than a couple weeks. And where does she go most often? She stays home a lot, goes to the theatre both as an actress and a viewer. At night she visits bars, a couple of other shady places, but seems a nice mare overall. And I won't reveal anything I'm not specifically asked or feel is too personal to respect the mare's privacy."

>input action

>>27037634
I know that you haven't adjusted to this place yet, but Trip, please, you're not in a position to be talking like that.
Help us help you. Now, which bars, which theatres, and which shady places?

>>27037634
Why were you following her?

>>27037634
And why did you begin following her?

>>27037665
>>27037719
>>27037721
"I know you haven't adjusted to this place Trip, but you're not really in a position to be talking like that. Let's start easy. Why were you following her?"
>Trip shrugs and responds without a thought to your great surprise.
>"Suspected of taking part in terror plot against a foreign ambassador and other smaller counts. Small time drug pushing and bribery are the main ones there."
>You glance over to Skye and Kis, looking to get a read on their emotions.
>Skye is enraged at the stallion, while Kis looks rather surprised and amused.
"Huh. Alright. Might have more on that in a moment, but give me some examples of the bars she goes to, theaters, shady places."
>Trip shakes his head,
>"I'll give a few. Bars? She most often visits The Last Laugh, Lickety Split and Circulation. As a spectator, she particularly likes the Canterlot Playhouse and the Bright C. Public theatre. And shady places? She hangs around the occasional underground market or two is all I meant by that."

>input action

>>27037904
This is disquietingly easy.

>>27037904
Now then, how many other mares do you follow? What are their names?

>>27037904
Good, and who else do you follow?

>>27037951
>>27037965
>>27037972
>You begin to feel a little uncomfortable about how easy this is.
>In fact, since Trip started talking, you notice that Speckle has visibly relaxed.
"Now, how many other mares do you follow."
>This seems to have been unexpected, as Trip takes a while to formulate a response,
>"Just one... Gaze."
>He then goes silent, tied front hooves now getting a little more fidgety.

>input action

>>27038149
and what is she suspected of?

>>27038149
You know who talks freely about information while tied up? Someone buying time for something.

>>27038192
You're right. This has all been too easy.

>>27038149
He saw a mare get clubbed and had a gun, but he didn't use it? He used a knife or something but why? Rip his belongings apart for a tracker or something.

>>27038298
He did something before he came in the house.
Hit a panic button maybe.

>>27038192
>>27038298
>>27038310
Yeah, this seems fishy. He could have possibly had us tailed and have backup on the way.

I agree with all of you. Signal to have him unexpectedly chloroformed again with no warning, then tear apart everything.

>>27038368
I kinda wanna see their reaction to us figuring this out though...

>>27038392
We can brag afterwards, assuming we find something. If we say we figured it out early when there is no bug, we look incompetent.

After all, he may just be lying and that's why he's giving us the info so easily.

>>27038437
That's all the reason I need.

>>27038437
Agreed.

>>27038182
>>27038192
>>27038198
>>27038368
>>27038392
>>27038437
>You whisper to Farthing,
"Get the chloroform and knock out the both of them."
>Then return to talking, this time directly addressing Trip.
"Gaze, huh? Interesting... Tell me more about her."
>Cooly, Trip sighs,
>"Tallish, green coat, blu-"
>But is interrupted by Nel holding a rag over his face, Farthing holding one to Speckle's.
>Once they slump over, you motion to Trip's coat,
"Rip it apart. He could have a tracker or some sort of panic button in there."
>It's promptly shredded by a mixture of magic and hooves, and sewn into the folds of the inner pocket you discover a small, circular metal object with a button inside.
>Kis instantly grabs it and levitates it with magic, closing her eyes and mouthing
>"Shit, shit, shit..."
>When she finishes, she laughs, half in joy and half out of relief
>"Well, you've certainly got lady luck on your side Twitch. It's a tracker, but it's dead. Our friend Trip probably thinks he's got a police squad en route to his location as we speak."
>While keeping up her happy attitude, Kis is trembling a little, and under her breath you hear the words
>"Too close..."

>input action

>>27038740
Shit. What's wrong with it?

>>27038740
Dodged a giant bullet there. I don't care who we have to thank, dice, you, God himself, that could have been bad.

and there's no chance of it becoming active, right?

>>27038740
I'm sorry Kis. I almost screwed all of us.

>>27038766
>>27038774
>>27038791
"Shit. What's wrong with it?"
>"Don't know..."
"And there's no chance of it becoming active?"
>You ask, and Kis promptly nods.
>"I don't think so... I certainly hope there isn't, that'd be a real nightmare. I'm going to stash it somewhere far away though, just in case."
>After an awkward silence, you hit yourself in the forehead,
"How could I have been so stupid!? I-I'm sorry Kis, I very nearly screwed us all over."
>Kismet shakes her head,
>"While it was rather... Negligent, I-I'm not really mad just shocked and frightened. J-Just take this as a warning Twitch, alright?"

>input action

>>27038862
I'll do better, I promise.

File: WhyGodWhy.jpg (88KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

88KB, 1280x720px

>>27038862
>only a single warning
>a single warning
>1

>>27038872
>>27038881
"I'll do better, I-I promise!"
>You say anxiously.
>Kismet's a nice pony, but not the kind you'd ever like to see mad.
>"I-I know you will Twitch, and in the grand scheme of things this is just another lesson learned. Understand me?"
"Absolutely."
>Kis slumps to the floor and rubs her head,
>"I'm going down to my office... Come meet me after the interrogation, alright?"
>You nod,
"Certainly Kis, I-I'll be there as quick as I can."
>She then exits, leaving just you, Skye, Nel and Farthing with the captives.
>After a minute or so, both Speckle and Trip re-awaken, coughing and sputtering.
>Both were also re-gagged during their nap.
>Through gritted teeth, Skye mumbles
>"Let's get on with it..."

>input action

>>27038999
I say we don't let on just yet. Keep Trip nice and talkative.
Ask him about Gaze again.

>>27039015
This.

Once we're done we'll hit them with the bombshell

>>27038999
He deserves a bit of punishment for that stunt.

>>27039015
He could've been lying through his teeth just to waste time.

>>27038999
If he still thinks he's buying time, let's get him talking, he might be giving some real information.

>>27039021
His story matches Speckles so far.
No need to tell him yet.

>>27039032
Okay. A bit of fact checking to be sure then.

>>27039015
>>27039019
>>27039021
>>27039031
"Sorry about that guys, someone went a little overboard."
>You say with anger, hoping to get them back on your side.
"Before you drifted off, you mentioned something about a mare named Gaze Trip?"
>You say as you peel off his gag again,
>"Wh-... Oh, Gaze. That mare... It's believed she has ties to some of the bigger underground operations in Canterlot. Golden Hoof, Enigma, and Melody's Eve are the three I suspect she's got a hand in, but no concrete evidence on her yet. Just some shady looking business deals and expenses I couldn't verify.

>input action

>>27039091
What first made you think she was involved?

>>27039091
"Who put you up to these jobs, Trip?"

Also, side note, we should not forget to verify with Kis later about her boss coming to visit Sharp's house.

>>27039091
Keep him talking. Ask how he decided which ponies to follow. What are the connections? What was he looking for?

Going to bed because it's late and Aight's update schedule defies all mortal logic. You guys better not let Sharpie have sex with everyone in the room and then talk about how much she loves the number five.

>>27039191
__________________________________________5 cocks :^)

>>27039191
Even worse

I'll have her go home and have lesbian sex with Tally

>>27039199
______You fucker.______

>>27039206
...you're okay.

>>27039114
>>27039146
>>27039191
"So, how did you decide to follow these two ponies in particular?"
>"Just before I started this tracking effort, the two were seen together at a dinner for a brief time. Anonymous tip set me off on Gaze, decided to do some searching on Skye and her appearance. She's strikingly similar to a mare named Serenity Steps, wanted for taking part in a bomb threat. Just got me thinking, you know? So far I've been trying to get some damning evidence on either of them, because assumption is all we have at the moment.."
"So you're working on your own?"
>Trip smirks,
>"Oh take my word for it, I've got the whole of the force behind me."
>Skye snorts a little and scoots over to you,
>"You wouldn't mind giving me a little alone time with this guy would you?"

>input action

>>27039358
By all means, bon't let him know we found it yet. He's a practical goldmine.

>>27039358
Oh, fucking go for it.

>>27039358
You think so, huh?

I think you might be a bit surprised by the reality of the situation.

>>27039376
>>27039378
>>27039445
>You laugh a little,
"By all means go for it, just don't let on we've found his secret."
>Skye gives you a condescending look,
>"How little faith do you have in me Twitch, really?"
>She says under her breath as she takes a seat next to Trip and holds up his cheek.
>She spends the next few minutes examining his body, poking, and prodding before standing back up.
>"All yours. Was thinking about punching him, then thought better of it. Tell me when you finish so I can have my turn."

>input action

Pausing here for the night, no lich hours today.

>>27039538
>no lich hours today
But I like lich hours ;_;
Gnite QM

File: 1454390593871.png (79KB, 334x312px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 334x312px

Where do you think you're going dirty work?

>>27039538
I have reason to believe your supervisor gave you a whole list of suspects.

Who was on that list?

beb

>>27041705

>>27042298

>>27043039

>>27043160 Wasn't me.
Also, a session should start up around the evening. Hopefully we can get a Tally lunchtime in.

>>27044100
Thank god. I'm just glad that whole clusterfuck is over. If we ever try to change Sharpie's sexuality again, you have my official endorsement to tell us to go fuck ourselves.

>>27045452

>>27040973
"I hope you enjoyed the break, as I do have a few more questions for you Trip. Firstly, I've got reason to believe your supervisor gave you a whole list of suspects. Who was on that list?"
>Speckle reacts badly to this question, taking on a bit of a guilty look.
>While he'd been calm while Skye was sizing him up, the question already seems to have put him in an uncomfortable mood.
>"I... Gaze and Skye were the main two. Fringe observations were of a mare named Harley and a stallion named Quiet. I don't remember the rest off the top of my head."
>There's a silence for a moment, before Trip asks,
>"So, are any plans on sending me home?"
>He seems to have had a follow up question as well, but refrains from asking.

>input action

>>27046415
It's our intention that both of them get home safely. All they have to do is COOPERATE and answer our questions to the best of their abilities.

>>27046415
I do want to get you both home. I told Speckle that I hate violence. I really do. But you're not just convincing me. It's not in my hooves whether you go home, but I can certainly make a good case for you.
The more cooperative you are, the more likely it is that you go home.

>>27046415
I'd like that Trip, but that depends on you.

>>27046466
>>27046502
>>27046539
"I told Speckle before, I really do hate violence and would like nothing more than for both of you to go home. However, that's not in my hooves to decide. What I can do is make a good case for you, if we get what we need and you cooperate."
>Trip nods, still uncomfortable
>"Ah, of course. I... Ask away I suppose."

>input action

>>27046628
I really can't think of any other questions. Someone else help me out?

>>27046628
Now Trip, listen very carefully, and tell me the truth.
Are there any other police officers in this area? The last thing we want is a squad breaking down our door.

>>27046927
This. If he says no, which would be a lie since he is none the wiser, grill Speckle the same way. See if we can get him to crack in that case and turn them against each other in a way.

>>27046927
>>27047024
"Now Trip, listen very carefully and tell me the truth. Are there any police officers in this area? The last thing we'd want is a squad breaking down our door."
>With this, Trip starts rubbing his hooves against his restraints.
>"I... Well, I don't really know where we are. 'This area,' is pretty vague, and I doubt I can give any sort of valid answer."
>You bite your lip, annoyed with his question dodging,
"Well, then Speckle. Would you know of any officers in our immediate vicinity? Just... For any reason?"
>Speckle starts shaking a little, pressing his head up against the wall of the room and staring up towards the ceiling.
>"I-I.. No. I can't say I know of any other officers around here. At least anypony working with us."

>input action

>>27047228
Put the gag in Trip's mouth and remove Speckle's.

What about you, Speckle? Can you think of any reason there would be officers in our immediate vicinity?

>>27047246
Speckle talked in the last post because I forgot he was gagged since yesterday. Small thing, but I feel bad about inconsistency in any form.

>>27047295
Okay.

No, no reason at all that there would be officers here?

>>27047228
Give them one more chance to change their stories.
If one does, then they get off scott free and the other gets punished. If neither does, we tell them that they're both lying, and they get what's coming to them.

>>27047228
Imply that they don't know shit so as to hurt their progress for after we release them.

So those names you gave us, they're really the only people you're after? Nobody else? Just those... few ponies?

>>27047308
>>27047246
>>27047481
>>27047504
>You replace Trip's gag and trot closer to Speckle, plopping down next to him.
"So Speckle... No reason at all? There's no possible reason other officers would be here?"
>He bites his lip,
>"I... Not that I know of, no."
>You stand and sigh, pulling Trip's gag back out.
"So those names are all you gave us, they're really the only people you're going after? Nopony else? Just those... Few?"
>You say contemptuously, hoping to shake their resolve and send them reeling for information that doesn't exist.
>Trip screws up his face a little, but nods.
>"Y-Yes. Those are all we're investigating for the moment."

>input action

>>27047481
I'd want some sort of confirmation before going through with a post like this, as it's a somewhat violent action instead of a merely intel-gathering based one.

>>27047559
I think we're done here.

In fact, I don't want to tell them the truth about Trip's tracker. I actually want to let them think help is coming, but slowly realize that it's not.

>>27047559
Short scoffing sound that could easily have been a suppressed laugh of derision.

>>27047644
Agreed. Give them nothing as explanation. Just >>27047647.

>>27047644
While I REALLY want to rub it in their stupid faces, this is probably the most in character reaction.

I do think that in an hour or so we should give them some kind of punishment for the lies.

>>27047644
>>27047647
>>27047655
>>27047668
>You make a short scoffing noise to the two of them, hopefully what sounds like a covered laugh of derision.
"Alright, I guess we're done for the moment. Good to talk to both of you."
>You say flippantly, moving to reinstate their gags and head out, but Skye stops you, instead pulling you outside and whispering,
>"I got thinking... What if we make it look like we're getting sloppy and leave their gags off? Then, one of us could stay in the room and listen to see if they chat given the circumstances. Think that's any good?"

>input action

>>27047774
Good thinking Skye.

>>27047774
Yes, but we don't want them plotting either. Leave it off for about 10 minutes while you listen, then go back and cover it.

>>27047774
I guess. I'd rather this was recorded on something though.

>>27047774
Good, but don't leave it off entirely. Just tie it sloppy and loose so they can shake it off.

>>27047781
>>27047794
>>27047824
"Good thinking, but we don't want them plotting either. Instead of just not tying them, I'll tie their gags sloppily so they can just shake them off. Leave them off for maybe ten minutes, and then pop them back in."
>You nod to Skye and head back in, lazily knotting both Trip and Speckles' gags and giving a last scoff before heading out.
>Before you shut the door again, Skye whispers,
>"So, what's going to happen when I put the gags back in? Just stuff them inside and leave to tell you my findings?"

>input action

>>27047880
No, trade off with someone else to come find me. They are never to be left unsupervised at any time. I'll have someone on standby to relieve you.

>>27047922
Well, at all times is a little unreasonable.

Tie them up to chairs that are seated across the room from each other. We can't risk them moving around.

>>27047929
I don't think it's unreasonable at all. One of them has already tried to escape, and how hard would it be to spare someone to watch them? We have a team. Set up a rotation.

>>27047929
>>27047958
For the moment it might be a good idea to try and set up a rotation. Just because they have been caught in their plans, does not make their plans any less crafty. We should be careful here since we have been lucky so far.

>>27048018
Also, adding on to my post here, maybe keep another outside the door in case they get a little crazy and manage to break free of any restraints or rush whoever is watching in the room. Unlikely, but better safe than sorry.

>>27048040
Agreed. Actually, let's JUST have the ponies on the outside, unless we can have someone who can stay completely silent. We want them to talk a little.

>>27048104
Yes. I'm planning on waiting until they start to worry, then ask them again, then imply that they're a bunch of idiots not worth our time to worry about.

>>27048104
Oh yes. I'm not quite sure how I want to deal with it yet. Does anypony have suggestions? Nothing to violent, alright?

>>27047922
>>27047929
>>27047958
>>27048018
>>27048040
"No, trade off with someone and find me. They're not to be left unsupervised at any time. I'll put someone on standby to relieve you."
>She nods,
>"Got it."
>And heads inside as you close it behind her.
>Farthing and Nel stand outside the door with you, and Nel takes a seat next to the exit,
>"I can take standby for you Twitch, no worries."
>And Farthing nods.
>"Just a question,"
>He starts,
>"Are you planning to do anything about their... Lies? I guess they didn't exactly lie, but certainly withhold the truth we know."

>input action

>>27048170
Same as before:
Yes. I'm planning on waiting until they start to worry, then ask them again, then imply that they're a bunch of idiots not worth our time to worry about.

Why did you take out her saying she'd be quiet? We want that. They'll be more talkative if they think they're alone.

>>27048218
Didn't even realize that was gone. The repost was because my name was wrong. She still's going to be quiet, don't worry.

>>27048170
Nothing yet. They can sweat a little first.

>>27048132
>>27048150
>>27048273
"Yes, but they can sweat a little. Maybe wait until they start to worry their squad's not coming, then imply they're a idiots not worth our time. Have any suggestions on what we could do as... Actual punishment?"
>Farthing taps his chin,
>"I think we should separate them. Then, after a while, tell them both the other officer confessed to a tracker. That could provide some leverage, get them angry at each other, and provide rationale on our part for physical punishment--their 'lies.' Think that's any good Twitch?"
>He asks nervously, looking for approval

>input action

>>27048545
I like it a lot actually. It's not even a little violent, and it get's them talking and mad.

>>27048545
Sounds good. Try not to get too rough though.
We want them coherent, mostly.

I'm so glad our team in competent. Dumb NPCs who contribute nothing are lame. Way to go.

>>27048559
>>27048610
"I like it a lot, actually. Minimal violence though, tell them they lied and slap them around a bit because of it. In addition, it gets them talking and even better, mad."
>Farthing beams,
>"O-Oh! Great!"
>Nel grunts,
>"Anyway, I think I might head out after this shift. Need to get this wound looked at by someone professional... Mind if I do Twitch, or did you have other plans?"

>input action

>>27048667
No, I understand. That looks pretty painful.

>>27048667
Nah, you did enough today Nel. You get yourself seen to.

>>27048667
Go ahead. You should definitely get that looked at.

>>27048681
>>27048686
>>27048696
"No, I understand. That looks pretty painful."
>She sighs with relief,
>"Oh, thank Celestia."
>And slides onto her back, staring up to the ceiling.
>You call Farthing down with you to the back room, where the two of you sit in silence and wait for Skye.
>Shortly, she trots down and shakes out her mane before plopping down in the third of five chairs.
>"Listened for a while, just stood up. First, I opened the door like I was entering the room, retied their gags and popped down here. Nel is still up there. They talked a little about the tracker at first. Trip thinks it's active, and Speckle's really happy to hear it. Speckle then informed Trip that he's halfway through filing open the window latch, and they were beginning to plot a plan when I cut them off. That of any use?"

>input action

>>27048875
We might be able to use it. We definitely need that latch fixed.

>>27048987
"Certainly usable. We do need that latch fixed ASAP though."
>Skye nods,
>"Kis can handle that, and if we can't fix it we can just tape it shut. They remove the tape, we beat whoever did it senseless."
>She then stretches out,
>"Also, were you planning on having someone switch with me, or is Nel watching the door enough for you? And also, what should we do in the meantime while we let them stew over their missing officers?"

>input action

>>27049082
Is there a window in the door? As long as we have visual contact that should be enough. Give them a little more time to sweat it out and then go ahead with the plan to separate them.

>>27049082
I have no idea. I think Kis is handling that level of strategy. We just need to get as much info as possible for her to work with.

>>27049082
Get some rest while they stew. And I'd rather have as much supervision on them as reasonably possible.

>>27049112
There is not a window in the door.

>>27049112
>>27049122
>>27049155
"Let's let then stew a little longer before going through with a nice plan Farthing had."
>Skye nods along as you fill her in, and Farthing looks rather proud of himself.
"For now, we should all get some rest."
>Skye and Farthing both give their affirmation before wandering off, leaving you alone in the back room.
>You've got a couple options now.
>Go visit Kis with a plan and fill her in (or see if she has any plans herself), visit any of your crew and have a chat, or just rest yourself.
>Today has been pretty taxing so far...

>input action

Going to pause here for the night. Should we try the odd weekday update or two again?

>>27049281
Yes pls.

>>27049281
Kis first, then rest. Make sure that there's always someone there in case they try anything before we go, though.

And I like the midweek updates. Even if it's only one or two a day.

>>27049281
Check in with Kis.

>>27049281
Go see Kid and give her an update, then get some rest.

Would that work for you? If you would be pressed for time to get updates out, I'm fine with waiting until next weekend.

>>27049281
Go talk to Kis. Discuss plans, apologize again for the tracker, and bring up her boss visiting Sharp.

Do what you feel comfortable with. Don't press yourself on our account. We're all having fun here you know?

Bumpu~

>>27051046

>>27051516

>>27049353
An odd update here and there isn't too hard but the times will be rather inconsistent.

bup

>>27053207
Boop.

>>27049330
>>27049332
>>27049353
>>27049539
>You sluggishly stand and trot over to Kis's office, letting out a loud yawn as you push on through.
>She anxiously hops up at your entrance and blurts out
>"So, what's happening with the cops?"
"It's under control, we've got Nel on watch and they're tied up. And again, I'm really, really sorry about the tracker I missed. I'll be more careful next time, I swear."
>She nods,
>"It's fine Twitch, really, you don't need to endlessly apologize. Just show me next time."
>You thank her again and go on to relate what you gleaned from the interrogation and Skye's lurking, as well as your plan for the future.
>Kis bites her lip,
>"Thing Skye did wasn't incredibly smart, especially if they both know about the broken latch. What is good is your second part of the plan, the separation, and the fact they still think the tracker is active. We need to take advantage of that and the separation is a good way to do so. If I was to add to it, I say we should fake transporting them somewhere else after this interrogation. Get out the carriage again, knock them out and drive around a bit to disorient them. They'll lose whatever they're thinking about their current location and it'd also get them thinking their squad can't save them. Think that's a good idea or just needless complication?"
>She finishes anxiously, a tinge of urgency in her voice.

>input action

>>27055738
If we transport both of them than keeping the tracker thing a secret would be pointless since they'd know nobody would find them. If we only do the transport trick with one of them then they'd both get more desperate and might try to bargain for the others safety. The secret about the tracker would also have value in that scenario.

>>27055792
Excellent points, anon. I approve. Only move the second guy. He seems less likely to try something.

>>27056298
Actually I was thinking of moving the first guy and making him think it was his fault that they were separated. Punishment for repeatedly treating us like an idiot.

>>27056424
Okay. You convinced me.

>>27055792
>>27056298
>>27056424
>>27056811
"If we transport both keeping the tracker a secret is useless since they'd know nopony would find them. If we transport one, they get desprate and might bargin for the other's safety. We also keep the value of the tracker in that situation."
>Kis thinks for a moment, then smiles.
>"I like it... I like it a lot Twitch, you've always got a plan. But the question is which to move..."
>You grin inwardly,
"The first we captured, Speckle. Throughout his interrogations he's treated me like a fool, which gives me leverage. His transport is a punishment for his actions, we make that very clear him."
>Kis nods,
>"Well, you've convinced me. I do wonder though, will either be willing to bargain if they believe the other tattled on the tracker? Perhaps we should try this transport trick first before we tell them the other snitched, or maybe not at all. I feel it could reduce the effectiveness of the ruse."

>input action

>>27057816
As long as they think the tracker worked they'll have hope that they'll be rescued, but when no rescue comes that hope will crumble away. Also if we make them think that the other had been taken to a more secure and place and has to deal with more dangerous individuals than the tracker goes from a hope for rescue to a ticking time bomb since it'd only rescue one of them and the other would face the repercussions.

>>27057816
I think that if we tell them the other snitched, it might make them more willing to betray the other or more willing to bargain only for themselves. It could turn them on each other.

It's a different tactic altogether. I we could try to transport Speckle, then tell them each the other snitched. It's an idea, but I don't know if we should necessarily follow up on it.

>>27058018
>>27058007
"As long as we keep them thinking the tracker worked, they'll have hope they'll be rescued. We take too long, more than say a day, and they lose that so we need to capitalize on that now. For instance, we need to make it clear that Speckle will be taken somewhere much more secure where he'll have to deal with much more dangerous individuals. It turns the tracker from their lifeline to a ticking timebomb to save their fellow officer."
>Kis nods,
>"And I suspect we might need to recruit a few of these more dangerous individuals?"
>You put up a hoof,
"Hold off just for the moment. My second thought was to transport Speckle, then after a few hours reveal to each that the other tattled, like the first plan. It's a completely different tactic, but if we can get them wary of each other with no way to communicate, they might open up to save themselves. Not sure if that's the smarter course of action, but it's an option."
>Kis sighs and leans back in her chair,
>"Well, I feel that's also a good plan, both of these have pros and cons. The first has a timeslot where we need to extract as much information as possible. I'd wager good money on it being a guaranteed success, but once they lose hope of rescue they might clam up. For the second plan, it gives us more time to work with, but I fear it's also got a much higher chance of backfiring on us. They could both shut up and play it smart. So in this case, you're the one in charge here, so I'll leave the decision up to you. We don't have to decide just this minute, but it does have to be soon."

>input action

>>27058426
I'm inclined to go the first, slightly safer route. Just my gut feeling, though.

That dead tracker got me worrying that we might have dice under the hood here, and we just got saved by a good roll. I don't trust dice, so go the less chancy route.

>>27058784
Unless aight's changed stuff from the beginning, yes, there are stats and dice rolls going on behind a curtain.

>>27058814
I'm actually a little disappointed to here that.

>>27058814
Source?

>>27058844
I don't mind the idea of dice. Things shouldn't go according to plan 100% of the time and it's no fun when they do.

Dice add a random element to keep you on your toes. However, dice shouldn't ever be the sole reason you fail.

>>27058889
>Things shouldn't go according to plan 100% of the time and it's no fun when they do.
I agree completely, I just don't think dice are at all necessary to have a character that doesn't succeed all the time. Why would you need dice to prevent that?

>>27058874

https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24668096/#24684636
Here it is in action.
https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25957198/#25974756
https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26122309/#26140872

>>27058916
It's a simple, nonbiased way to do so.

>>27058916
You wouldn't. "Ensuring you don't always succeed" is and always has been a terrible argument for the use of dice. Now the second part "dice add a random element to keep you on your toes" is a much better use for them, and I have no problem with anyone using them like that. I welcome that, in fact. Using them to decide if we succeed or fail is unnecessary, though.

>>27058784
I guess I'll confirm that there were no dice involved. Something that damning in terms of plot is not something I'd lay onto chance.

>>27058986
Again, I find that rather disappointing to hear. I had forgotten about those two checks. I hope he stopped using them when he stopped mentioning them.

>>27059022
Thank you. It is comforting to know.

>>27059022
Thank fucking god.

>>27059019
That's why I said 'dice shouldn't ever be the sole reason you fail'

A rolled die should never make rocks fall out of nowhere.

>>27059022
Are we using rolls for things? Because I'd much rather we fail because you thought we could have done better rather than us failing just because there was a 20% chance that we would.

>>27059079
If that's all you meant then I have no problem with dice. I just think they are better suited to randomly modifying situations instead of "roll to accomplish task".

>>27059088
Depends on the thing. It's gotten much rarer though.

>>27059174
That makes me happy to hear.

>>27059174
For some people I might ask a follow up question about that, but honestly I think that for you the more plot decisions you make all on your own the better. You're a great writer and I trust your decisions. Keep up the great work.

Beb

>>27060710

>>27061812

Personally, I have no issues with the use of stats or dice to determine things, as long as it's kept firmly in the background.

>>27063254
>determine things
I think it really depends on the "things" in question. Some things it is perfectly fine to rely on dice for, other things you shouldn't.

>>27058784
>You exit the room for some deep thinking.
>That tracker got you worried, just how long can your luck last?
>You don't want to push it too far, just in case, so perhaps the first route would be a smarter choice.
>You poke your head back into Kis's office,
"We'll be taking the first option."
>You confirm, and Kis gives you a smile,
>"Playing it safe then? Gotcha. The carriage is still out back, Melior is still around in case you need him and I can call in some more... Intimidating ponies in case you need them. It does mean you'll be splitting your budget further though, or drawing from your own pay. Either way, I'm here if you need me!"
>She says while cracking her neck and returning to her papers.
"And Kis, before I go, is there somewhere I can crash for the next few hours?"
>She grins,
>"Ah, one of many favorite secrets around here. Check the closet."
>She says with a wink.
>You then head back out into the back room and pop open the closet.
>It's completely ordinary to what you can view.
>Varied shelves and janitorial supplies, a wardrobe, boxes stacked in disarray at the back and a rather ratty mattress.
>Resisting your urges to organize the boxes, you take a seat on the mattress and sigh, closing your eyes.
>Some secret.

>But after a few minutes, a hoof taps you on the back.
>It's Skye, and she's giggling rather loudly,
>"Kis told you to crash in here? I did the same thing the first time,"
>She smirks and makes a gesture for you to follow, opening the wardrobe.
>To your surprise, it's empty, with no back wall, and leads to another room.
>"Took down the false wall to get you. Not very secure, but this place works as a temporary hideout, resting area and escape route from the Laugh."
>Inside are a pair of metal bunk beds, two doors and a few trunks.
>"I can tell you more about this place later, but for now let's get some sleep."
>Skye invites you to a lower bunk while she takes a higher one and in silence, the two of you drift away.

Tally's lunchtime is up next.

>>27063559
Yay!

>>27063338
I meant outcomes of risky or contested actions.

So, a dice roll to open the door is out, obviously.

>>27063545
>>27063559
I await that update...

>>27063861
I imagine I am on the opposite side of this from you, but I am curious about your position.

Say we're lying to a person. We post "Sharpie should say X Y and Z and do P Q and R to convince him". Would you want Aight to roll a die for a Bluff check and then compare it to a number that represents his estimate of how suspicious the person we were lying to is? Personally, I wouldn't. I rather Aight decide how good our argument was, decide how the person would respond, and then proceed from there. Purely narrative.

I imagine you feel differently. Do you think dice would add anything to my example situation, and if so, what? Personally I would only use dice for things that we have absolutely no control over.

>Lunchtime finally rolls around.
>Thank Celestia...
>You meet up with Roxxy, Gelignite and Velix back at the water cooler, and they lead you out, down the stairs and out into the streets of Canterlot.
>Taking up the rear of the party, rear is exactly what you end up inspecting a lot of on the way down.
>You feel kind of guilty, but out of the party your butt inspection places the Roxxy in first, Velix second and Jelly third.
>But these are your co-workers, you're scoping out, acquaintances, so it feels a little weird.
>For instance, staring at Sharp and Willow's butts doesn't feel weird.
>And they both have rather nice hindquarters in their own right.
>But that's different... Somehow.

>You don't want to think about that right now, for now you focus on lunch and getting to know your new friends.
>You step back for a moment and let them chitter on the way to wherever they're leading you.
>From their chat, you can discern an idea of their personalities, a first impression.
>Roxxy's the most outgoing and comfortable, even if new.
>Velix is rather quiet, but interjects every so often with something thought out.
>And Jelly might have a bit of an anxiety problem, and is the most giggly of the three.
>But all three seem like decent mares, none give off a touchy or bitchy sort of vibe.
>Fine by you.

>They lead to a small cafe called "Veranda," and grab a four seat booth in the corner.
>Drinks are ordered, water for the table and lemon soda for Velix.
>Silence lies across the table, another layer of tablecloth until yanked away by Roxxy.
>"So, I guess we've got a fantastic four now, eh? Tell us a little about yourself Tally, unless you want someone else to go first with the introduction. Not on the clock anymore, so we can take it a little easier..."
>She moans with relief as she stretches out.

>input action

>>27064203
Open with the Cutie Mark story. Always a good opener.

>>27064203
Well, I'm Canterlot born and raised.
I'd like to think I'm an easygoing mare.
I like cuddling, wine and radio shows, in that order.

>>27064203
If you're waiting for a tie-breaker, I can switch to >>27064336. We can save the Cutie Mark story for later, to counteract a lull in the conversation.

It's a straight line drawn in chalk, right? I imagine that we used to draw houses and skyscrapers and all the things that we wished we could build.

>>27064674
>we insist that our cutiemark is construction chalk
>nobody must know that it is children's sidewalk chalk from that time we drew that kickass floor plan on the cul-de-sac.

>>27064714
>>27064674
I've got a little writeup for it actually, but now am thinking I should save it. Essentially, Tally went into the forest outside Canterlot looking to build a treehouse, got lost, it looked like it was going to rain, she drafted a lean-to with her trusty sidewalk chalk, built it from her treehouse materials and bunkered down till someone found her. It frightened her out of her mind, but all that terror melted away when she noticed the mark she'd aquired from her adventure. Also, it made her a little wary of being alone. One of the reasons she's such a cuddleslut.

And yes, Tally drew kickass sidewalk renditions of her favorite buildings as a kid.

>>27064778
Hey, I was actually pretty damn close. I approve. Your version makes a better story, though.

You know what? Screw the lewd. I want THAT story.

>>27064778
That's adorable. Does she dream of being an architect one day? Tally might have just became my CYOA waifu.

>>27064778
Tally x Feather Dust collab when

File: image.jpg (33KB, 416x360px)

33KB, 416x360px

>>27065002
I HAVE NEVER WANTED ANYTHING AS MUCH AS I NOW REALIZE THAT I WANT THIS!

>>27064336
"Oh, me? Well, I love cuddling, wine and my radio dramas. In that order."
>You say with a general to the table, which gets a laugh out of Jelly and a giggle out of the other two.
>After a comedic pause, you give a happy smirk
"I like to think I'm an easygoing mare, born and raised here in Canterlot. Simple filly, always liked architecture. Got hired here as a consultant, now it seems I'm on double duty doing paperwork, but I don't mind too much. Just wondering when I'll actually get to consult. It's the architecture I came for, not the paperwork..."
>Velix grins,
>"Oh, there'll be a lot more where that came from... No matter though, you'll do what you came for eventually."
>You nod,
"No rush then I guess, but I really am looking forward."
>Jelly raises a water glass to the center of the table before taking a swig,
>"Long as you're making good money, I wouldn't care."
>After she finishes her drink she motions to Roxxy,
>"So Rox, you're second down."
>Who snorts in response,
>"Guess if we're introducing ourselves like we're dating, I'm Roxxy, outgoing and fun. I've got a passion for geology but here I'm doing busy work over the builders and supervisors, making sure stuff gets done. A division manager I guess? Oh, and I like ponies with great smiles, long walks on the beach and reading."

>input action

>>27064875
She dreams of building skyscrapers one day.

>>27066708
How does a geologist pony end up in construction? Were you a consulting seismic geologist or something? Are we on a fault line and nobody ever told me?

>>27066708
What do you read?

>>27063946
In that case I think he should decide if he thinks our argument would convince the NPC on the argument's pure merits or not. If he thinks it would, then he should have it succeed. If he thinks the argument is totally not one the NPC would accept then he should not have it convince him.

If Aight thinks it might convince the NPC depending on inflection or how exactly we word the argument, then I say roll the dice with the relevant modifiers.

>>27066773
>>27066929
Ask these, get the answers, then ask the next pony to introduce themselves. Politely.

>>27066773
"So how does a geologist pony end up in construction? Are we building on a fault line or something, and you're a seismic geologist consultant?"
>Roxxy laughs,
>"I think I'd have to be a full blown seismologist for that, and no. I just have a thing for the marvel of construction, and this brings in enough money to where I can enjoy my talent as more of a hobby than a job. I am working towards trying to become a geologist though, not sure what I'd specialize in."
"Aw, I'm sure you'll figure it out sometime soon."
>You say cheerfully, and Roxxy nods,
>"Hope I do!"
"So what do you like to read?"
>She chuckles a little,
>"That was halfway a joke, but I do some reading when I have the time. Count of Marete Cristo is what I'm currently on. It's slow going, but I certainly enjoy it."
>You nod, and Roxxy nudges the pegasus
>She takes on a rather surprised look before laughing it off,
>"Well, lot of introductions for me as of late, new girl in town and all. I was born in Cloudsdale, moved here when I was young-ish. I'm a very precise pony, uncommon for a pegasus I've heard. Heck, my cutie-mark's a level, got it helping re-build part of the Cloudsdale arena after a crash. And ah..."
>She trails off,
>"S-Sorry, I'm not very good at talking on the fly. Interests, right, I like board games and sleep. Celestia, I love sleep."
>She groans and bumps her forehead onto the table and closing her eyes.
>At first you think she's joking, but after a while you're not so sure.
>Jelly quickly steps in and hoofs her in the side, electing a squeal of surprise from the little pegasus, and an adorably angry scrunch.
>"I'm Gelignyte,"
>The unicorn grins,
>"And I'm in demolitions here. Sadly, there's rarely demolitions that needs doing but they keep me around anyway because I'm good at visualizing large structures and finding integrity points. I think you noticed, but I'm the worrywort of the group, and not shy about it either. And just call me Jelly, eveypony does."

>input action

>>27069275
Tell Jelly that you think her name sounds super cool cause it is super cool holy shit
And ask Roxxy that's the pegasus right? how she's finding the town and why she moved
And if there's time, ask her what happened to the Cloudsdale arena

>>27069329
The sleepy Pegasus is Velix.
Roxxy is the Earth pony geologist.

>>27069366
Forgot to add:
But aside from the name, I second your suggestion. Ask away.

>>27069275
The pegasus reminds me of Sharp. Mental note to check out her butt.

>>27069405
See >>27064203
>Taking up the rear of the party, rear is exactly what you end up inspecting a lot of on the way down.
>You feel kind of guilty, but out of the party your butt inspection places the Roxxy in first, Velix second and Jelly third.
Tally's way ahead of you anon
>Roxxy first
Tally has a thing for erf pons, doesn't she?

>>27069405
Already did. Second best butt, behind Roxxy and ahead of Jelly.

After asking >>27069329, find out the biggest explosion that Jelly has ever caused.

>>27069414
>>27069415
That was merely a cursory glance.

I want a full and detailed inspection

>>27069421
B-but anon, th-that's lewd
Plus butt inspection is only reserved for Sharp and Sharp alone

>>27069431
>spoiler
Come on now. We're an adult. We can move on to other mares and preserve our friendship intact.

>>27069591
>wanting to move on from Sharp
>not wanting to break her down into a cuddle addicted whore
Also, I wonder if we can find out in this section, but why did Tally go to the bathroom every time after her and Sharp got super grabby? Was she going there to maturation furiously to that Sharp booty?

>>27069747
Surely not Anon. Tally is such a pure mare!

>>27069747
>maturation
Masturbation
Fucking phone

pure thoughts about tight little flanks bump

>>27069329
>>27069379
>>27069405
Shit, that's a super cool name!"
>You say to Jelly, who blushes slightly,
>"Aw, thanks Tally, was a spot of pain for me when I was a kid but that's another story..."
"Ah, alright. What's the biggest demo you've ever done?"
>Jelly's eyes light up,
>"Oh, one time we spent a few months rigging up this abandoned mall. The final day..."
>Her eyes unfocus for a moment and she sighs,
>"It was music to my ears..."
>She whispers almost lustfully, eyes wide and shining.
>As Jelly loses herself in the sweet thoughts of destruction, you turn to Velix
"And how've you been enjoying Canterlot?"
>She smiles,
>"Good, been here since my mid-teens so it's like a second home, even if there's less pegasi than back in Cloudsdale."
"So, what's the story with the Cloudsdale arena?"
>You prompt and she blushes a little, which is cute
>"O-Oh, well when I was a filly I always went to the races. Once upon a time a chariot team got a little too reckless and crashed into the stands, wrecking a lot of design work. I decided to help out, ended up directing a few older ponies because it sounded like I knew what I was doing. Guess it was pretty good, because I helped get it all fixed up and got my cutiemark out of it!"
>She says cheerfully, a wide grin on her face.
>You make a note to take a more detailed inspection of her rump on the way back to work, along with Roxxy and Jelly's.
>Sadly, you're jerked from pondering their supple flanks by Roxxy, who nudges you (you're sandwiched between her and Velix)
>"So Tally, what do you like to do to relax after a long day?"

>input action

>>27071473
Listen to radio shows while cuddled up with my roomie, mostly.

>>27071473
Radio dramas about ponies whose lives are more interesting than mine, mostly.

>>27071489
>>27071496
We should also mention our favorite program. IIRC it is "Another Hoof". It's a drama, but a lighter one than the soaps and noir stuff that Sharpie likes.

>>27071553
Source: https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26794256/#q26814741

>>27071489
>>27071496
>>27071553
"Listen to radio dramas about ponies who have lives more interesting than me and cuddling with my roomie."
>You say sillily,
"My favorite show is Another Hoof, in case anyone knows that one."
>To your surprise, both Velix and Roxxy's eyes light up.
>"Wait, you listen too?"
>Roxxy chrips happily,
>"I thought I was the only one!"
>Velix confirms, but in a softer voice mumbles,
>"Always thought it'd make me seem fillylike..."
>Before brightening back up.
"So all of you listen?"
>You say with glee, glad to have found something to connect with them so early,
>Velix sighs,
>"Not religiously, but I tune in most weeks. Hoof's like a sitcom you can drop back into. The only one I really keep up with every week is..."
>She trails off,
>"L-Long From Home..."
>It's a late night show on Fridays about a mare on the run from the law.
>That part's just an excuse for her to move on at the end of each episode, but the plot of each installment is fairly predictable.

>>27072603
>Protagonist enters new town, meets pretty stallion (or mare), he/she falls head over heels in love, the two spend a while together, have some intimate moments, and the mare heads off, breaking heart after heart.
>Of course there's variants every so often, but for the most part it follows that pattern.
>You and Sharp aren't particularly interested, but from the look on Roxxy's face, she is.
>"Aw, don't feel embaressed about that, it's just a damn radio show and here's a little secret,"
>She says with a wink,
>"I'll give it a listen whenever I'm feeling blue and need a pick-me-up, y'know?"
>After a small pause, you shrug,
"So what else are you guys into? My roomie likes Clandel, always into mysteries and hard drama she is. I like them too, but lighter fare is more my style."
>Roxxy grins,
>"Clandel, eh? I'd like to meet this friend of yours, she's got good taste in radio."
>And Velix nods,
>"I like Clandel too, just never able to make the commitment to tune in. Not the show you can drop in and out of is it..."
>You nod,
"Last time Sharp and I missed a show, you should have seen her. I swear, wouldn't say a word for two days. Almost to the minute..."
>Feeling a little left out it seems, Jelly tries to shift the conversation in a new direction,
>"So your roommate is named Sharp? What's she like?"

>input action

>>27072625
She's a nice girl. She can get a little compulsive at times, but she's really nice to have around.
The apartment stays clean pretty much all the time, and she's great to curl up with in the evening.

>>27072625
She's nice. Bit of an oddball, but it grows on you.

>>27072625
She's... different.

But we get along great, most times. Sometimes I make a fool of myself, but she's always there to pick up the pieces...

I mean, we complement each other well.

This is all coming out wrong.

>>27072625
Let me put it this way: our refrigerator has a containment shelf for food items that bother her.

>>27072625
(Don't mention Sharpie's butt. Don't mention Sharpie's butt. Don't mention Sharpie's butt. Don't mention Sharpie's butt.)