Reversed Gender roles Equestria

First! Huzzah!

Here we go.


>The horn ring, or the saddlebag clip...
>Or maybe the mane brush.
>Oh Aunt, why did you wait till the last minute to do this?
>Turning, you look out the window, perhaps hoping for some strike of inspiration when you notice something.
>Your aunt and, well, daughter, half hidden and observing a resturant across the street.
>It's nothing to do with you, you have more pressing concerns.
>Like picking out a Hearts and Hooves day gift for Shining.
"But which one would he like best," you mutter to yourself, staring.
>Stopping, you find yourself glancing to the window again, and those beyond it.
>Why are they there, who or what are they watching?
>Back to your options, you just shrug and grab the mane brush.
>At least it doesn't have to match an outfit or anything, unlike the ring or clip.
>Paying for it, you stealthily walk out of the store, keeping an eye on the two till you're at a place where you can see them, but they won't see you.
>Namely, hiding in a tree.
>With their attention to the ground, they'll never notice you.
>Upon further observation, you can figure out that they're watching somepony inside the resturant across the street.
>But from your perch, you can't tell who.
>Anon, probably.
>You don't have to wait long, and you're surprised to see Luna exit the resturant.
>When she holds the door open for Anon, however, you almost fall from the tree.
>Date pairing is supposed to be your thing.
>Besides, Luna is too old school, there's no way she'll click with a modern progressive kind of stallion like Anon.
>And yet the two of them walk off, side by side, smiling and talking away.
>He even has his hand on her shoulder.
>You have to investigate closer.
>Following behind Venus and Celestia, you eventually reach a nice, though somewhat secluded park.
>Kind of like where...
~~~

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IMPREGNATE

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>>26953288


>Sitting down next to Luna, you're a little surprised when she sits sort of like you.
>"I was wondering, what was your home like? I know you've been here for a long time, but you must remember things from before then."
>Looking up, you stop and think.
>With everything that's happened, Earth has often been far from your mind.
"My family, it was my dad and my mom, me and my little sister."
"Dad was always off to work early in the morning, while Mom left for work after me and my sister left for school."
"Of course, Dad would be home before school ended, and we'd help him cook dinner so it's ready when Mom gets home."
"On the weekends, we would go out to movies, or to the park, normal family stuff."
>"You must miss them..." she says, reaching a wing over your shoulder.
"I do, but life goes on, and you can't stay sad forever. Besides, I have Venus now."
>"It's the same for me, I guess. Being banished for a thousand years is much the same as I had no friends or family but my sister anymore."
>Reaching over, you take hold of her hoof in your hand.
"The same, but we both also have new friends, and maybe, eventually, new family."
>Looking over, her face is bright red, stars popping and sparking in her mane.
>You could swear they formed a shape there, but it could just be your imagination.
"Are you alright, Luna?"
>"Yes, we, I, I'm fine, it's just... er, Oh, I wonder what kind of bird that is," she stammers out, pointing to a tree in the distance.
>Leaning against her, you follow her hoof and spot a small patch of pink feathers in the trees.
"I can't say I know. It's an interesting colour though."
>Her body is stiff against you, but flushed with heat.
>Okay, so you know you're teasing her, but these reactions are too cute.
"Are you sure you're alright?"
~~~

>>26953302


"Don't blow this, Luna," you whisper to yourself, watching your sister struggle with Anon's affections.
>"Just kiss Daddy, it's all you have to do," Venus says beside you, probably louder than she should have.
"How do you know that?"
>She shrugs, looking up at you, saying "I dunno, I just know it's the right thing."
"It seems a bit early for a kiss though," you muse.
>You don't notice Venus start to move as you look back up at your sister and Anon.
>It's not till she's snuck up behind the bench that you realize she's moved.
>Catching yourself before you call out, you can only watch as she creeps under it.
~~~
>"Kiss him," rises up, so faint you can barely hear it.
>You briefly turn to look, but come face to face with Anon, and you hear it again.
>"Kiss him."
>It's not the voice of Nightmare Moon, so perhaps it is your concience.
>But still, to kiss a colt like this...
>"Kiss him," it comes again, a little more forcefully, though still barely perceptible.
>Gathering your will, you take the advice of your concience.
>Leaning forward, you press your lips to his, pushing your tongue past his lips shortly after.
>If you're going to do this, you're doing it all the way.
>The hand around your hoof squeezes gently, and you feel his tongue meet yours.
>Oh buck you're actually kissing him, and not some quick one either.
>He pushes back against you, but marely pride keeps you on top.
>Metaphoricaly.

>>26953316


>There's a cheer from underneath you, followed by a thud, and a quieter "ouch".
>Anon breaks the kiss, gently pushing you away with a hand, before reaching under the bench.
>Confused, things suddenly make sense when he comes up holding Venus who is rubbing her head.
>"Now what are you doing under there?" he asks, setting her in his lap.
>"We were watching you and Luna to make sure nothing goes wrong."
"We?"
>"Auntie Celestia and me," she replies, pointing to a bush.
"Sister, come out from there," you say to the bush, and as Venus said, your sister exits it, brushing twigs and leaves from herself as she does.
>"Sorry, Luna, but we had to be sure things would go well. You're not exactly the most social of ponies."
>"And you don't go out enough Daddy," Venus adds.
>He just rubs her head, when you notice something.
"Anon, you might want to check Venus over," you says, covering your smile.
>"Oh?" he says, lifting up Venus, turning her around.
>It takes only a few seconds before he notices what you did.
>Venus is squished to his chest immediately, and he just about jumps up from the bench.
>"Congratulations, you found your talent, dear."
>"Huh?" Venus says, with all the grace and elegance of a ten year old.
>"Take a look," he says, setting her down, and pointing to her flank.
>There, clear as day is her cutie mark, a pair of red hearts, bound by a golden ring.
>"She'll need a cute-ceanera later, but for now, I think we need to head off and leave you two lovebirds alone," Celestia says, floating Venus up onto her back with magic.
>"Bye Daddy," Venus says, riding away on Celestia, leaving you and Luna alone in the park again.
>At least, that's what you thought at first.
>"Cadence, where are you?"
~~~

>>26953329


"Cadence, where are you?" You call out, scanning the park your spell led you to.
>You almost immediately notice Luna and Anon, seated on a bench together.
>...
>Oh.
>Oh my, there's some gossip here and you know it.
>"Hello, Luna, Anon, how are you today," you say with a small bow.
>She is a princess after all, and it's respectful.
>"Ah, Captain Shining, what bring you here today?" Luna asks, nodding to you.
"Well, Cadence and I have Dinner plans, but I haven't seen her all day. If I may ask, what brings the two of you here together?"
>"Celestia and my daughter thought it would be a good idea to set Luna and I up on a blind date with eachother, since both of us have been out of the dating game for a long time," Anon says, taking hold of Luna's hoof in his hand.
>Using your will, tempered by all your training, you can keep from blushing at this PDA, but it's hard.
"Things have been going well then, and don't worry I won't stick around you long. I just need to pinpoint this tracking spell on Cadence."
>"Allow me," Luna says, horn glowing, "Those of the royal family can track the others of the royal family more easily."
>A blue beam shoots out of her horn, going straight at a tree, which suddenly shifts, before there's a thud, the beam panning to the ground below.
>Ground that now has your marefriend on it.
"There you are, Cadence, I've been looking all over for you, I need to know where we're going for dinner tonight, so I can get the right outfit ready."
>"Well, honey, I kind of wanted it to be a surprise," she says, rubbing her flank.
>Already sore and you haven't even given her your gift yet.
"Well, I can't just show up wearing whatever. Resturants work hard to make an atmosphere, and I want to match it."
"Will I even have time to get my mane done now? Oh shoot, my appointment!"
>Grabbing your marefriend with your magic, you drag her off with you.
"You can tell me on the way, I have to hurry or I'll miss my hooficure."

>>26953347


>Outside of the park, you set her down and look deeply into her eyes.
"So, when did they start going out together?"
>"Uh... I don't know. Today, I think," she replies, and you frown.
"You don't know? You're the princess of love, you should be able to tell."
>"That's the thing, it doesn't make sense. They shouldn't match. Luna's old fashioned, extremely so, while Anon is rather progressive, I guess."
"And?"
>"It should be like mixing oil and water, it just doesn't work, at least, not for long."
"Maybe this will be the same then," you say, looking up to see the spa, "Ah, we're here. I won't be long sweetie."
~~~
"So, um, what do we do now?" you ask, doing your best to keep from nervously rubbing your hoof on your leg.
>"Well, I guess we could go see a movie or something," Anon says, still holding your hoof.
"I've never seen one, are they good?"
>"I couldn't really say, I've only seen the occasional foal movie with Venus."
>He scratches his head, before shrugging.
>"I guess we can just go and see what's playing, for better or for worse."
>Nodding in agreement, there's a sudden pop, and a folded piece of paper appears in front of you and Anon.
>Inside is a letter from your sister, as well as movie tickets.
>"Have fun~<3, signed Celestia," Anon says, reading off the letter.

>>26953359


"It seems she's helping us further."
>"Shall we go then?"
~~~
>Unlocking your door, you turn to Luna, who is smiling, though with a hint of nervously.
"Thank you for the fun time, Luna, it was really good to get out."
>"Myself as well, I enjoyed our time together."
"If you want, I'm sure I could get Celestia to foalsit this saturday, we could go see another movie together or something?"
>"WE'D BE GLAD TO!" she exclaims, a little over-entheusiasticly, slipping into ye olde speech.
>Reaching out to stop her from jumping, her wings already flaring out, you lean over and give her a kiss.
>This causes her to lock up, before pushing back with the kiss.
>She's a fighter, you'll give her that.
>Your tongues press against eachother, alternating who's mouth they're in.
>The door suddenly opens, bathing the two of you in light, and Venus says, "Ewww, Daddy..."
>"Oh let them enjoy themselves," Celestia says as you and Luna break apart, both of you blushing a bit.
"Er, well, I'll see you Saturday then," you say, and she nods.
>"I'll see you then. Are you ready to go, Sister?"
>"Whenever you're ready," Celestia replies, stepping past you.
>A tugging at your pants leg draws your attention to Venus, who says, "Come on, Daddy, it's time to get ready for bed."
"Yes, coming."
>Giving Luna one last quick kiss on the cheek, you enter your appartment, giving a small wave as you close the door.
>Rosy blue cheeks and teal eyes are the last things you see on the other side as you close the door.
~~~

>>26953368
Update done, Ill update the pastebin tomorrow.

Next update, things are gonna get a little (or lot) serious, so be ready for that.
Hint:Show Canon event.

>>26953368
Absolutely adorable. Thanks, friendo.

>>26953385
Nightmare Moon escapes her 1000 year banishment?

>>26953385
>update
wait, who dis

>>26953447
Venus' Dad
>>26953400
Already happened.

>>26953470
shukakakaukukukukuk?

>>26953470
>>Already happened.
That's the joke.

>>26953329
that response to her cutie mark was kinda lackluster yo

>>26953385
Shuk I love you very much, all the homo.

>>26953368
>>The door suddenly opens, bathing the two of you in light, and Venus says, "Ewww, Daddy..."
but wasnt she the one that wanted them to kiss in the first place

>>26953299
Dubs demands

>Be Fluttershy
>Be a very happy mare.
>Or, at least, very content with the way things are presently.
>You don't know if you're ever really 'happy', per se.
>At least not in the usual sense.
>You…freak out.
>A-and make big deals about little things.
>He calls it anxiety disorder, and so does your psychiatrist, bless her heart…
>When things first started, you'd been at your lowest.
>You had friends, sure.
>According to Dr. Calm Mind, friends are an important part in living a stress free life!
>Things only seemed to get worse when you started dating Anon though. At least at first.
>Your heart raced, you felt flushed, and you had…NEEDED, to be near him.
>Couldnt let him be alone.
>One day you followed behind a little too far during a trip to the market for groceries, and had a panic attack.
>H-he stopped, and came to you.
>Ran his clean hands through your hair, rubbed your back, avoiding your wing a in public, told you things were okay and that he L-LOVED you…
>Y-you'd been so far behind, and he was so f-far ahead, a-and you didn't want to loose him to somepony else!
>Just like mom had…
>And that's when you started seeing Dr. mind regularly.
>The anti-depressants helped…
>You could trust him…HE trusted YOU! Even when you were quite, and he wanted to lead.
>He respects voices, even your small, ugly, insignificant one…
>You felt his love inside of you that day…growing inside of you and spilling out outwards~!
>That might've just been the morning sickness in hindsight. He didn't expect you to spill so much, and neither did you…
>There's a new doctor now.
>You still see Dr. Mind.
>You will for a long time.
>But now you see a different doctor now, who tells you to keep exercising for the his love's sake.
>You can feel your love for him growing with each passing day…
>Each day passes with his love for you growing more.
>Inside him, and inside you.
>You are Fluttershy.
>And you have been completed, the missing piece within you.

>>26953612
Thinking she was wanting them to kiss, not to start up tongue wars.

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>>26953631
YESSSS

MY LIFE IS COMPLETE

Lets hope for less autism this time. No wait, more.

>>26953631
When will I get to namefag again?

>>26953631
oh my goodness
Thank you Dana, you've made the worst pony into the best pony

>>26953741
Snippet, by the way.

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>>26953631
now you have an obligation to continue

or at least do one for each of the mane 6

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>>26953654
She's a very fertile pony.

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>>26953799
How does she do it?

>>26953815
Superfetation, a predisposition towards twinning, and open mindedness towards her family's needs.
https://derpiboo.ru/982920

>>26953890
dude

>>26953631
>clean hands through
Much feels

>>26953911
I don't get it.

>>26953790
Challenge accepted.
>Be Twilight.
>Be…serene.
>Things are calm.
>You don't have to panic anymore.
>You won't have to panic until they're in gradeschool, and you have to finally let go.
>He'll be there though, and he'll let you pretend to be comforting him.
>The crying papa, watching his little filly (or colt! How adorable would that be?) go off to school for the first time…
>It brought a tear to mom's eye when you went off to Princess Celestia'a school for gifted unicorns, but she never admitted it.
>Before Anon…it seemed like they were out to get you.
>You were paranoid…afraid of a phantom…
>Of what colts were supposed to be like.
>What they WERE like.
>You'd come to believe that, anways.
>Especially after that month dating Time Turner.
>You'd wanted to shout.
>To call him a slut.
>To say his new herd would be nothing, and that he'd come crawling back to the Princess in the end…
>But in the end, you'd wanted to crawl back to him.
>Anonymous…
>All those nights spent brooding alone.
>Angry at a sex that you had become too afraid to speak to...
>You like to tell ponies when they ask that you'd saved him when he showed up in Equestria…that you'd been his mate in shining armor, come to rescue him at his lowest.
>In truth, he'd saved you from yourself…
>He Let's you tell that story, because he knows it matters to you.
>Maresculine pride.
>You've never once swept him off his feet, and he's quiet about all the times he's hefted up YOU.
>Because he respects you, regardless.
>Even after seeing the books, and the miniatures, and all those animoos you'd hidden under your bed…
>You are Princess Teilight Sparkle.
>And you've found harmony and serenity in his wide arms.

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>>26953941
daww

>>26876686
>You get yourself cleaned up and bolt for the front door asap.
>Gotta get the most out of today, no time for any-
>["Make sure to eat your breakfast Scooty, Love Dad."
>You roll your eyes at the note on the inside of the front door.
>Psh, like he'll know.
>You open the front door to find another note on the doormat.
>["I'll know. -Dad."
>A chill runs up your spine.
>You take the note up and find a second note underneath it.
>["And if you keep rolling those eyes of yours they'll fall right out of your head."
>HOW?!
>You slink back into the house and pour out some cereal.
>You scarf it down before some of the cereal even gets soaked with milk.
>Having taken this brief detour gives you an opportunity to think.
>Before leaving for real this time you run back upstairs and take the pack Pinkie gave you full of the leftover fizz drinks.
>If you're gonna have as long a day as today you might need these.
>You also slip your enchanted journal in for good measure.
>With that you bolt out the front door, strap on your protective gear and ride out towards the Crystal Castle.
>You pound on the door a few times and pray that Anon will be the one to answer the door.
>A few minutes pass before you pound on the door again.
>You step back and loop around the side of the castle a little and peer up towards Anon's room.
>His window is open, you call out to him but get no response.
>Damn!
>Well if he's not here there's nothing you can do about it.
>You adjust your plans a little and roll out towards Carousel Boutique.
>As it comes into view you notice something odd.
>Is that some kind of Summer Sun display?
>You roll up and past it, slowing as you approach the front door.
>Looks like a chariot.
>Why would a chario-
>*SLAM*
>"-verything is going to be just perfect!"
>"Yeah, I think you've really outdone it. Nopony is going to top this year's Celebration."

>>26953911
His hands.
They're clean, and thus not coated in Cheeto dust.
Which means it's okay for him to touch her mane so intimately, and suggests that he keeps himself clean for her, at all times.
Ready and willing to issue emergency panic attack snuggles.

>>26954076
>You shake away the stars over your eyes and blink the world back into focus to find Twilight and Spike were talking as they entered the Chariot.
>"We've outdone it Spike, I couldn't have organized all this without my number one assistant or-"
>Wait, if Twilight is here, then she would know where Anon is.
>You take one step out from behind the door.
>"-on Anon, Rarity did such a wonderful job, you don't need to be so embarrassed."
>"I'm not embarrassed Twilight."
>You tense up when you hear Anon's voice.
>And your heart drops when you see Anon himself.
>He steps out from the boutique.
>His mane is pulled back again, and he's dressed in the most handsome purple suit you've ever seen.
>His outfit looks like it shimmers as he steps out into the sunlight.
>His head is sort of low and keeps turning like he's scanning around for something.
>You tuck yourself back behind the door.
>Or somepony.
>"Yeah Twilight, he's not embarrassed. After all everypony's gonna see him tonight. He just doesn't want somepony in particul-"
>Anon's eyes widen and he quickly enters the chariot to grab Spike by the mouth while shushing him.
>The chariot ponies start lifting up into the air as Twilight turns a teasing look towards Anon, "Oh really? Well I think I've figured out why my sister in law has been staying at Canterlot Castle since last night. "Doing a friend a favor" eh?"
>Anon's face is just shy of glowing red, "Twilight! It-it's not like that! I didn't even know she was in Canterlot already" he shouts back which you only just barely pick up as they fly off towards Canterlot.
>You step out from behind the door watching them until they become little more than a speck in the sky.
>A sigh escapes your lips.
>This was your chance.
>Sure it was going to embarrassing to say something right in front of Twilight and Spike but...
>You shake it off and enter the boutique.
>Only to be nearly run over by a rushing Rarity.

>>26954081
>"Oh! Sorry darling, little occupied! Would you be a dear and shut the front door for me, I'm likely to go blind if that sunlight hits these sequins" Rarity calls back at you from the room she bolted into.
>You do as she said before following her in.
>Oh... wow.
>The place looks like a cloth battlefield.
>Rarity herself looks pretty good though, frantic sure, but still put together okay.
>She whips around to face you and her horn starts glowing.
>Her eyes widen, "Heads up Scootaloo!"
>You heed her warning and duck, a swathe of fabric comes flying past your head and over towards her.
>She places it down and immediately takes several needles and scissors to it.
>"Terribly Sorry Scootaloo, so much to do and so little time left to do it" she says not even looking up at you, "Sweetie Belle should be up in her room-"
"A-actually I'm here to see you."
>Her ears flick in your direction, she turns a quick eye to you, "Oh? Whatever for dear?"
>You clear your throat.
"I uh, need a dress-" a clatter sounds out as you continue, "For Celebration tonight..."
>You see that the clatter was Rarity's scissors dropping to the ground.
>And with that the last sound in the room stops, her machines aren't running her needles are still in the air.
>You can feel the heat in the room leaving and being replaced with a chill that sinks deep into your bones.
>She turns slowly towards you, her pupils are pinpricks and trembling slightly.
>You may have just made a huge mistak-
>"AHAHAHAHA!"
>You quirk an eyebrow as Rarity is clutching herself around the barrel as she continues laughing.
>"Oh Scootaloo, you are simply HILARIOUS!"
>You laugh along nervously.
>She wipes a tear from her eye, "Oh thank you darling, a little bit of joy was just the thing I needed before returning to the slog. And your hilarious JOKE about needing a dress made from the ground up at the very last! POSSIBLE. MINUTE!... Is just too ridiculous to possible be true... RIGHT?!"

>>26954090
>It takes everything in you to keep from trembling.
"Y-y-yeah... just a joke! Ha ha... I'll go and uh, see Sweetie like I totally intended to do from the start."
>Rarity's eyes are still beady and rattly, she hums agreeably while nodding her head repeatedly.
>Her eyes follow you as you slowly back out of the room and make your way to the stairs.
>You let out a sigh once you leave her eyesight, the bloodcurdling scream of frustration that comes form Rarity's work space sends you bolting for Sweetie's room.
>You dive in and slam the door shut behind you.
>"I swear I don't have any bobbins!" Sweetie shouts at you while jabbing her microphone stand at you.
>You back up into the door to avoid being poked.
>Sweetie opens her tightly shut eyes and blinks in surprise, "oh Scoots! Sorry, I thought you were my sister."
>She floats the stand back down and places it against the wall.
>You let out a breath.
"Yeah, I don't think your microphone stand would've been enough to stop her."
>Sweetie shrugs, "It's not really for stopping her as much as it is giving me a second to aim the spray bottle."
>You follow her eyes to the bottle labeled "Show no mercy".
>You hiss.
"Is she always like this?"
>"Only when there's a big event going on... Or if she gets rejected and wants 'sisterly bonding time'" she groans.
>You look around the room for a moment.
>It is a Sunday, she should have late chores today.
"Where's Bloom?"
>Sweetie shrugs again, "Said she has some family tradition thing today so she can't make it."
>"So what's up? Haven't seen you for a few days now."
"Yeah... uh, I've had a lot of stuff going on lately."
>Sweetie tilts her head, waiting for you to continue.
"I don't really have time to get into right now but... I need a dress for tonight."
>"Didn't you order one?" she asks.
>You recall intending to do do that but changing your mind after Featherweight said no.
"I was going to go with my parents to Cloudsdale but... I uh, decided not to after all".

>>26954101
>Sweetie's brow furrows as she scans your face intently.
>She relaxes shortly after and puts a hoof to her chin.
>She's a great friend, she must know you're not saying something but also doesn't want you to make you spill.
>"Well my sister could- oh, right..."
>Your heart sinks.
>You expected an answer like that but you were really hoping otherwi-
>Her eyes light up, "Oh! Wait!"
>She darts over to her closet and throws the doors open revealing her collection of band and music show tees as well as some of the older outfits you remember from foalhood.
>She digs through her closet for a moment before letting out a triumphant "Ah-ha!"
>Sweetie pulls out a box and drops it on the floor in front of you.
>The lid lifts when illuminated by emerald magic and reveals something white inside.
>The something white reveals itself to be a dress as it's lifted up into the air.
>A very...
>"Yeah... remember when I went to magic school for a year after we graduated?"
>You nod.
>"They had us all make dresses or suits with our magic to learn about precision. I think I was inspired by a dove..."
"Or a snow pile" you mumble.
>Sweetie winces but follows it up with a nod of agreement, "Well I think it's the only thing I've got that'll fit you" she pats her belly, "I changed a little over the years but you're still about the same."
>You look yourself over.
>Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
>The dress is levitated over to you.
>You grimace but take the dress and, with Sweetie's help, manage to slip it on.
>Huh, it's a little snug on the back but aside from that it's pretty comfy.
>Sure you look like the worlds biggest dork ever, but credit where it's due.
>Sweetie hums to herself, "Well, you look like melted ice cream but at least it fits right?"
>You roll your eyes at her as she giggles.
>"Oh but I think you're gonna need holes for your wings."
>Now that she's mentioned it too, your wings start aching for some space.
>You agree and she helps you slip it off.

>>26954107
>You let out a sigh of relief and give your wings a good stretch.
>"Once Rarity finishes the last order and passes out I'll run down and make the alteration, i should be able to manage that much at least."
"Sweetie you are my hero right now-" you look over to the bundle of white, "Maybe like a street-level hero... but seriously you're really saving my haycon here."
>Sweetie waves it off with a hoof, "Hey it's what sisses do. Just come back later today."
>You slip your pack back onto your back along wit your protective gear.
"Will do, thanks again!" you shout while sprinting for the front door.
>Sweetie waves you off from her room, as she's closing the door you see her levitate her stand back over towards her.
>You shut the door behind you and tear off towards Ponyville square.
>If all the flyers and posters that are littered literally every-
>Your vision goes black.
>You yank the sheet of paper that slapped you in the face.
>A flyer for custom hairclips.
>You ball it up and toss it at the trashcan you're zooming by.
>It circles the rim once-
>Twice...
>Aaaand it sinks in.
>You do a quick hoofpump before taking a sharp turn towards the shop you've seen the most flyers about.
>The bell rings as you walk in.
>The shopkeep is a lithe mare, she's got one of those magnifying headbands on and she's looking intently at a diamond on her counter.
>You shrug and start looking around.
>Bracelets, necklaces, earrings.
>Shiny stuff of all kinds all over the place.
>How in Equestria are you supposed to find something for Anon here?
>You settle for the display of bracelets in the back corner of the building.
>Too big.
>Not the right shade of purple.
>You hold up one that looks perfect!
>And now that its closer to you, you can see that you were wrong.
>"I am terribly sorry for your loss" a voice startles you suddenly.
>In your panic you accidentally toss the bracelet up into the air only for it to be snatched by the shopkeeper.
>Loss?
>What does she know?!

>>26954114
>Did Diamond buy her bracelet from here?!
"Wh-what?" you stammer out in your internal panic.
>The mare breathes a sigh of relief after having caught the bracelet and sets it back onto the display, "My apologies for startling you, I know that browsing the funeral bracelet section can be trying especially for somepony as young as you-"
"Wait wait, funeral bracelets? There's different kinds?"
>The mare quirks an eyebrow at you, "Yes?.. Why don't we start over. My name is Jewel Craft."
"S-Scootaloo" you mumble, feeling the embarrassment on your cheeks.
>"May I ask, what are you in my shop for today?"
"Uh, I need to get a bracelet for my- s-someone... for the Summer Sun Celebration."
>Jewel hums, "Ah. This way please."
>You follow behind her as she leads you back towards the front of the shop.
>She turns a brief eye towards you before looking back ahead, "There are pieces of jewelry for almost every occasion. Celebration, funerals, birthdays, promise, engagements, weddings, and my personal favorite "I forgot our anniversary", because the mark up on those is just wonderful."
>He chuckles at his joke while you are stunned by this information.
>You had no idea you could give the wrong piece of jewelry to somepony, a hairclip is a hairclip to you, same goes for earrings."
>"And a young mare like yourself would be wise to learn the differences, might save you a moment of embarrassment in front of that special somepony one day..."
>The fading blush on your face returns in full force.
>"But for the moment, here you are, Celebration bracelets."
>She steps aside and you see a brightly colored display full of all kinds of bracelets.
>Well, you do like these over all better than the other ones, probably because you now know that those were funeral ones.
>But while these are better, you're still not seeing one that just strikes you as perf-
>A purple band twinkles in the light of the case next to the display.
>-ect?

>>26954132
>You press your face against the glass just to confirm what you're seeing.
>It is PERFECT!
>The color, the size, everything about it just looks perfect!
>"Scoots! This is.... SO much better than what Diamond gave me! I... I think I lov-"
>You are pulled from your thoughts by a rather loud clearing of the throat.
"Huh?"
>You are pulled back from the case which is then sprayed with a liquid and your face smear is wiped away with a rag by the slightly annoyed looking shopkeep.
>You chuckle nervously, rubbing the back of your head.
"Uh, i think I found the one I want."
>Jewel sets the bottle and rag down on the counter as she returns behind the it, she looks over at you before looking down into the case, "And that would be?"
>You point a hoof at the purple one.
"That one, purple. It's perfect."
>She takes the bracelet out and hoofs it over to you to inspect.
>Unlike the other one you held, this one only gets more perfect the closer you bring it.
>"That one is two-thousand bits."
>Your heart does a bunny hop in your chest.
"T-t-two..."
>TWO THOUSAND!
>Sensing your panic, she takes the bracelet back from your paralyzed body and starts returning it to the case, "It's the last in a limited collection. If you'd like I could offer you some near substitutes.”
>You pick your jaw up off the floor, your eyes follow her hoof as she reaches for some nearby bands in purple as well as other colors.
>Just at a quick glance you know that they're not going to do.
"No thanks... I can already tell that they're not what I'm looking for" you respond defeatedly.
>Jewel slips the headband back on, "very well, I am closing early today due to the event so do bear that in mind if you change your mind."
>You slink out of the shop and settle yourself onto your scooter.
>You lean heavily on it, and let out a deep sigh.
>Two-thousand bits?
>That's more money than you've ever had in all your life!
>How in Equestria are you going to afford that?!

>>26954146
>You reach a hoof back into the pack Pinkie lent you and dig around until you pull a bottle of fizz out.
>You pop the cork off, it fires up into the sky like a crossbow bolt.
>Hovering a hoof over you eyes, you scan the sky for it's return only to find that it hasn't, even after waiting a full minute.
>You scan the bottle in your hooves, it's glowing all different kinds of colors but otherwise doesn't seem any different than what was in the chalice yesterday.
>You down the bottle, it's bubbly coolness flows through you lifting your spirits immediately.
>A gasp of contentment escapes your lips, you do feel much better despite how hopeless your situation is...
>Oh wait, there comes the depression again.
>You try to slip the empty bottle back into the pack but find yourself unable to get it in.
>Dropping the pack down, you open it up properly and drop the bottle in with the others.
>As you do, you notice a shimmer coming from the clear glass.
>You follow that over to your enchanted journal.
>it's shimmer means you got a message at some point.
>You open it up to find a ton of messages.
>Half from Dad, asking if you're okay and if you ate breakfast.
>As you respond to tell him you're okay you note that the other half are from Timely Dispatch.
>[Hey kid, sorry to bother you, but a ton of emergency orders have come in for today and I could really use the help.
>The follow up ones are more apologies with request for confirmation that you are or are not coming in.
>Emergency orders.
>Those usually pay a lot to get their stuff delivered in 12 hours.
>You look up to the sky and glance over to Jewel's store hours.
>If Timely is this desperate for your help she must really mean a ton of orders came in.
>So maybe...
>You slip on your helmet and pack, flutter up and make tracks for the Amazon hub.
>The bell rings as you walk in.
>You glance around but find no sight of Timely anyw-

>>26954156
>"Welcome!" the voice coming from the pile of mailers and boxes on the counter startles you.
>Timely's face makes it way out from the middle of that pile and she looks over to you, "How can I help- Scootaloo? Oh thank Celestia you came in!"
>You help her free up some space on her counter as she continues to thank you for coming in.
>"As you can see we've got quite the number of orders. This isn't even one tenth of them all, they all came in sometime overnight."
>You scan over the massive pile Timely has already managed to prepare.
>She really wasn't kidding about it being a ton, this is insane!
>"I really appreciate you coming in kid, I know that today is probably the last day you want to be working so anything you can do today really means a lot to-"
"Uh actually, I... kinda need the money, a lot of it actually..." You respond while emptying out your pack, placing your journal and all the bottles of fizz by the door.
>You shovel in as many orders as you can into your pack and slip it onto your back.
>"Yeah? Something come up kid?"
>Someone.
"Uh, yeah..."
>You don't waste anymore time, pulling the first package out of your pack you speed off to the address.
>Daisy meets you at the door, thanking you for the package.
>As you are speeding off to the next location you see hear tear into the mailer and remove what looks like a baggie with five nails in it.
>A shout draws your attention forward, you swerve to avoid hitting a passing mare and put your focus back onto he next delivery.
>"Oh perfect! Just what I needed" Amethyst Star chirps as you hoof the package over, "Can't repair a roof without cookie dough."
>You question that statement briefly before shaking it off as you reach into your pack.
>There are far too many orders here and waiting for you back at the hub to question Amethyst's snack choices.
>"Mm, thanks." Cherry Berry grunts your way as you hoof her box over.

>>26954166
>She takes one small board of wood out of the box and looks it over as you leave her home behind.
>"Uhh, I do not believe I ordered anyzing. Aloe, sister, did you-"
>"Ah yes! Many thanks to you delivery mare."
>Lotus passes the box over to her sister.
>"What did you order?"
>"Something I need to do a friend a favor" she responds as you shut the door to the Ponyville Spa behind you.
>"Oh Scootaloo, what brings you by?"
>You present Lilly valley her package, "So soon?! Such impressive spee-"
>She begins to fall back before you are able to react.
>You look her over to make sure she's okay, once you've confirmed that she's just passed out and seemingly fine, you lay the mailer on her belly and carry on to the next delivery.
>"Well thank ya kindly partner" Crimson gala says in response to you hoofing over her box.
>You quirk an eyebrow.
"Are you... related to-"
>"The Apples? Why does everypony always ask that? I mean I am, but still..."
>You offer her a shrug and make tracks for the next destination.
>It's all the way across town from Crimson's place, back near Rarity’s.
>You travel at a cruising speed for a minute to help catch your breath up a little.
>This is getting tiring fast.
>Granted it's because you're rushing but if you don't then there's no way you'll have enough bits by the end of the week, much less later today.
>You dig deep and flap harder as you find a clear street to zoom through towards your next destination.
>It's not until you reach the gates in front of the house that you realize where who the deliveree is.
>You press the button of the speakerbox to the Rich manor.
>The speaker crackles before you hear a mare's voice, "Yes?"
"Uh... I h-have a package for Mrs. Spoiled Rich.”
>You hear some incoherent mumbling on the other side, you catch a small hint of what sounds like "Favor" and "last one”.

>>26954175
>The gate opens inwards, "You may leave it by the front door. Your company has genuinely impressed me for keeping to it's promise in their emergency delivery guarantee. Kudos.”
>You zip up the long walkway, being careful to avoid coming anywhere near the grass and drop the package off before zooming the tartarus out of there.
>While you don't know what exactly you want to say to Anon, you definitely don't want to talk to Diamond out of fear for what you might let do the talking for you.
>Having delivered everything you dash back to the hub and load back up again.
>You zip all over town, delivering packages to mares all over town, with the occasional stallion who is almost in tears with gratitude over some last minute button or hoof polish they needed.
>By the time you make your third circuit around you are finding yourself running on fumes.
>You flop into the hub, Timely is looking almost as ragged as you are.
>The pile is not a pile any longer, you could stuff everything that's left into your pack so long as you go all quadtris on it.
>You just need the energy to do it.
>Your eye wanders to the far end of the room.
>A multicolored shine draws your attention.
>Fizz!
>You totally forgot you brought those with you.
>You take a bottle and-
>Carefully walk it over to the window and pop the cork, which does indeed go flying off somewhere far in the distance.
>You chug it down, feeling revitalized and in fact even better than before as the last drop hits your tongue.
>You owe Pinkie huge for this!
>Re-energized and ready to tear up some dirt you pack everything up and take off.
>Back to... Amethyst's place?
>She thanks you again for the package much like she did the first time.
>No mention of delivering to her again, just a simple thanks and a wave.
>You figure that maybe she forgot to order her stuff together and is a little embarrassed for you delivering them separately.

>>26954181
>Or at least you figured, now that you are parting ways from Daisy's who also thanks you simply for the delivery and sends you on your way.
>When you pull the next package as Cherry Berry's you start to get a little curious.
>"'Preciate it kid." she says as you hoof her package over.
"Uh, if you don't mind, what did you order?"
>"Pack of nails" she responds curtly.
>You don't sense that she's angry at you, she just seems like the blunt type.
"Oh, uh... small project?"
>Cherry shrugs, "Sort of, group project more like. Helping a friend" she responds.
>Not wanting to waste anymore time you head off to the next, and looking at the address on the box, familiar location.
>You return to the hub after delivering the last package you had.
>Timely only has three boxes on the counter.
>A quick scan reveals the address to all be places you just visited.
"Timely?"
>"Ah! Who- what?! Oh... kid..."
>Seems you pulled her out of the daze she fell into while she was packing.
"I'm delivering to all the same places, is there anyway you can bundle the same places all together?"
>She glances up at your briefly from the package she's taping up, "Ha! Kid even if I had the time to sort through all the orders like that, policy states that orders ship on a first come first serve basis. its out of my hooves.”
>You slip the three boxes in your pack and walk towards the door.
>Before you leave you turn back to see Timely faceplant into the box she was packing.
"Hey Timely, I got something that I think is gonna help you keep going."
>She jumps up in her seat at your call of her name, "Whozzawuh? Do you?”
>You take a bottle of fizz and pop it by the window again.
>Think you heard a bird squawk in the distance this time.
>You make a quick apology to the open air and return to Timely with the bottle in hoof.
>She takes it and looks it over, "Is this magical or something? I'm on a diet."
"I honestly don't know."
>Timely shrugs and takes a sip.

>>26954190
>She goes limp in the chair for a moment, her eyes glaze over as she stares into the ceiling.
>Panic starts coursing through you as you begin to worry that you may have killed her just now.
>"OH!" she shouts jumping up in her seat again, "That was... awful! You like this stuff?"
>You breathe out a quick sigh of relief.
"Uh, I'm not sure if I do or not honestly, but it works."
>Timely smacks her lips a few times, shrugs, then downs the rest of the drink.
>A thunderous burp escapes her lips.
>Her lip twitches.
>She picks up a roll of tape with one hoof and pulls a sheet of bubble wrap with the other.
>Her hooves start moving like a blur.
>A complete box pops out of the blur and lands safely on the counter in front of you.
>Before you can grab it a second package pops out next to it.
>You wait just a few seconds more for her to pop out enough packages to fill your pack.
>You load them up and take off for the first address, which funnily enough was your last address.
>You return to a pile as big as the original pile.
>Well that's good.
>Timely is kicking flank.
>You glance outside, the sun is further along than you'd like it to be.
>You need to do something.
>Go faster some how.
>Really fast.
>A multicolored light shines in your face.
>You look over the bottles on the floor.
>As fast as those corks…
>An idea starts forming in your head.
>And... you don't quite understand why but, you feel like thanking Tanya Stark for this one.
>You take two bottles of fizz and bring them outside with you.
>You take them out to an open area of the business park, just in case this goes horribly wrong.
>Bottle in each hoof, you tuck in and shake them both as hard as you can.
>The bottles begin flashing brighter and changing colors more frequently, they are also rumbling in a very concerning way.
>You slowly tuck the bottles under your armpits and grab hold of your handlebar.
>Wings raised, deep breath taken, and prayers made.

>>26954202
>You swipe your wings down, striking the corks of the bottles.
>You hear a pop, immediately followed by the roar of wind rushing past your ears.
>Its weird, you can hear it but it doesn't seem like you're-
>Oh wait, there it is.
>Everything starts bending around you, the open sky in front of you is still the same though.
>You can feel your arms aching as you keep the bottles pinched tightly to you.
>You barely have any control over your movement and you can barely tell where you're going.
>Everything looks like a blur until you turn your focus on it, but doing that changes your direction.
>Your throat is starting to ache.
>Have you been screaming this whole time?
>Yup, that distant voice you hear is yourself.
>This was a terrible ide-
>...
>"oots!"
>You groan, the burning in your throat prevents you from making a more coherent sound.
>"Scoots, hey! Y'all alright?"
>Anon?
>"Fawn? Ain't no deer round here Scoots, just your pal Applebloom."
>You shake your head, then immediately regret that because of the dull throb in your head turning into a sharp sting.
"Wha- where am I?" you croak out.
>"East orchard, column tango, row charlie, or as I like to call him Zeke."
>You blink the world back into focus and find yourself face to face with your own red reflection.
>You've got leaves in your hair.
>Not only there either.
"Ptoo puahh!"
>Leaves in your mouth too.
>You look down to see the cheery face of Applebloom looking up at you.
"What happened?"
>She shrugs, "Beats me, I heard something between a roar and a shriek get louder and louder followed by a loud boom out here in the east orchard and low and behold I find you up in our tree.”
>Your blood runs ice cold, you frantically look around before spotting your scooter in the branch just below you.
>You breathe a sigh of relief followed by a groan of pain from the sting in your chest.
>Bloom helps you down from the tree and brushing you off before asking what happened.

>>26954219
>You look into the slightly amused and more concerned eyes of your friend and take a deep breath.
"So I was going to go with my parents to Cloudsdale today..."
>You blow through the explanation with Bloom looking more confused than anything by the time you near the end.
"-nd I guess I hit a ramp and rocketed all the way across town to here."
>"Seriously? A couple of fizzy drinks sent you all the way over town like a shooting star?"
>You start to nod but the sound of clinking draws your attention to the tree above you both.
>Looking up you see a pair of half full fizz bottles with apples pressed into the opening like a natural cork.
>They're rocking around as the wind breezes through.
>Your eyes widen as they start to tip over.
"Look out!" you shout, tackling Bloom and diving as far away from the bottles as you can.
>You scrunch your muzzle tightly as you hear two soft *thump*s nearby.
>"Uh, Scoots..." Bloom says stifling a snicker, "Not that I mind a good war reenactment now and again, but I think them fizzy drinks ain't gonna do us any harm."
>You look down at the friend in your arms and realize the position you've put the two of you in.
>Before the blush has too much time to settle in you quickly hop off your friend.
>She dusts herself off and walks over to the bottles on the floor.
>You hold up a shaky hoof towards her but don't do much more than that to actually stop her as she takes the bottles in her hooves.
>She inspects the dimly colored liquid within, "I will say, it's got flair. Sure as hay don't want to drink it, but it takes pride in itself for sure."
>She brings the bottles over to you.
>"So you just had them tucked under your pits like this."
>She rears up, holding the bottles just under her armpits.
>You nod.
>She looks from you, to the bottles, to your scooter.
>"Well shoot, no wonder y'all spun out of control. You were never in control in th' first place. Tuckin' em under your pits ain't gonna be much help Scootaloo."

>>26954229
>You certainly don't disagree now.
>"What you need is something like..."
>Her eyes light up and slips the bottles into your pack and start pulling you along to the nearest barn.
>Once inside she leaves you behind to go far into the back of the barn.
>She returns with strips of bark from a fleshtree, it makes a very tough material to make saddlebags and stuff, a hammer, and some metal bits.
>She takes some of the smaller strips and loops them around the bottle, your arm, and both together.
>"I've been doing more and more of the maintenance for the equipment around the farm, carts, straps, press, heck even barrels."
>You watch in awe as she works away on those strips of bark.
>"Working with fleshtree bark is like the first thing y'learn if you plan to make most any repairs 'round here, far as I can tell I'm the best at it. I ain't hard but it is pretty busy, I like to look at it as all the equipment here just needs a little TLC now and again."
>She gives the bound straps a few strong pulls.
>"And right now, it look like you could use a little of that. so... Ta-dah!"
>She presents two sets of straps to you.
>You take them and look them over.
>She's looking at you eagerly.
>You smile politely but can't seem to make sense of what these are for.
>She rolls her eyes at you, "They're for your arms dummy."
>You look them over and see the loop that seems big enough to fit on your arm.
>You slip your forehooves through them.
>"And this spot here is for the bottles, you slip em in here and now you're ready to go."
>You look down and see the bottles are now tucked at the back of your elbows.
>For some reason you do actually feel more confident with them.
>"Ain't gonna have no control with them under your pits, but now, so long as you hold that handlebar of yours tight you should be able to move around with those and your wings better now. Kind like what's needed for barn raising."

>>26954246
>You nod along with her, seeing her reasoning in your head like some kind of fuzzy picture, you can't quite tell what it is you picturing but you just know she's right.
>Before you can ask her more you both turn in the direction of the house, Granny Smith’s echo is calling Bloom back over.
>Apple bloom jumps, ‘Ah shoot, I gotta get back to recursion’… I’ll see ya later tonight Scootaloo.”
>You usher out another thank you as Applebloom tears off back towards the farmhouse, Applebloom turns back your way and gives you a short wave before continuing on.
>You wheel your scooter out to an empty area in front of Sweet Apple Acres.
>Bottles are firmly tucked into their holsters.
>You think about how exactly you’re going to shake them up.
>And also about whether or not they’ll actually do anything at this point.
>Looking around and feeling satisfied that no pony can see you, you shake the bottles up.
>Which, considering their position, means that you are thrusting your forearms back and forth feeling really stupid as you do so.
>Note to self, if this works shake the bottles BEFORE you slip them in their holsters.
>The bottles are glowing brightly again and you can hear gas escaping around the apples the bottles are planted into.
>Seems like it’s do or die.
>You grip your handlebar highly with each forehoof.
>Deep breath.
>Wings up.
>Prayers made again.
>You swipe your wings down on the apples.
>You know that you knocked them loose, not because you heard them drop, but because you are already in Ponyville Proper after two blinks of an eye.
>You know all the addresses in your pack.
>A hard turn to the left sends you veering in that direction.
>As you speed closer to the destination in question you are rapidly putting together the most efficient route given all the places you have to deliver to.
>It’s solidified and double checked by the time you reach the first house.
>Mare you are good.

>>26953385
Good update, VD.

>>26954258
>You start to think that maybe you are a little less good as you blow right past the house.
>You cut several hard turns to loop back around to the house.
>Package in hoof now you approach it at high speed, holding it out for Cherry doesn’t seem to do any good, you’re moving too fast.
>Okay… new plan.
>You loop back around again, this time, as you approach you place the package in front of one of the bottles.
>Knowing how sound was traveling the last time you went this fast, you call out to Cherry Berry early.
“Catch!"
>You pray the timing is right and release it just as you speed on past her.
>The package goes flying her way.
>Just like you hoped, the shot was on point and Cherry caught it no problem.
>And suddenly you start thinking that maybe you just might be able to hit that 200 bits after all.
>You speed off past Lilly’s after having fired a package onto the pile that buries her still unconscious body.
>She was still breathing last time you checked.
>The Amarezon hub is coming up quick.
>You zoom past it, flare your wings out and throw your arms up over your head aiming your elbows forward.
>The sudden resistance combined with the sudden switch in force causes you to slow down rapidly, stop, and flip backwards.
>When your rear hooves grip the handle of your scooter it makes for an almost instant 180.
>You feel very proud of yourself for thinking that up after whiffing on the Cherry Berry delivery a few times.
>You zip into the backside of the hub, darting around the myriad shelves full of stuff while narrowing in on the one door that leads into the lobby area.
>You crouch slightly to angle your elbows lower lifting your scooter off the ground and giving you just enough height to clear Timely’s work station.

>>26953941

MOAR.

>>26954276
>As you fly over top of it you slip one arm out of your pack and let it hang, scooping up the next set of packages.
>The pack is slipped back on and snug before you even touch back on the ground just outside of the hub entrance.
>You tear off towards the next delivery point with plenty of time left in the day.


Okay, I'm done for now. Those of you who are, thanks for reading!

>>26954282
>Exhausted. Will think of some more and write tomorrow. Anyone got any ideas of their own?

>>26954311
>Mafia pone in Canterlot
>Intimidates even the toughest of mares
>Anon rolls by for a trip
>Sees pone all dressed up in pinstripe with an itty bitty hat and scar
>Gives her the huggles
>Everypone is shocked
>Mafia pone pretends that Anon's her boytoy and rolls along with it

>>26954311
Celestia feels jealous and bad when Luna, in a month, makes more headway with Anon than she had for a year, and ultimately bags him.

Shining feels inadequate with how lovey-dovey the new couple is compared to his and Cadence's relationship, and Cadence feels a bit grumpy and envious herself.

>>26954460
Hard to believe that story was born in September 2014. And died shortly after.
I'll never forget you, Bella Belle Grimm, you adorable badass little pone.

>>26954311
>Equestria is Earth, several hundreds of millions of years in the future. Ponies know about humans through myths and the telephone game, and they expect different things from Anon.

>>26954303
Great as always.

>>26954303
Nice update!
Also, does this story have a pastebin, Wilma?
If not, please create one for the future generations and those who want to start reading it from the very beginning.

>>26954530
Yah, sad.

>>26954689
>Anon is hundreds of millions of years in the future
>This means everyone he knows is probably dead
>This would mean his parents are dead
>Therefore Anon is now the Batman

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>>26955164

BatmAnon in RGRE

>>26954460
>>26954530
>>26955090
this was a real story... anyone got a bin?

>>26954689
What touches you? What warms you? Every man has a dream. What do you dream about? What do you need? You don't need anything, do ya? People, love, an idea just to cling to? You poor bastard! You're all alone. When you go to your grave, there won't be anybody to pull the grass up over your head. Nobody to mourn you. Nobody to give a damn. You're all alone."

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>>26955261
It's not finished and it never will be

but if you still want it, here you go
http://pastebin.com/jNnBLH4X

>>26955288
most stories will never be finished.

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>>26955293
Too true

>>26955309
>>26955288
ok, the sites back to normal... cool.

also thanks.

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BACK TO NORMAL!

>>26955317
it's no problem man

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are there any RGRE stories of Twi letting spike stay home by himself?

>>26955288
>>26955261
>>26954460

That story was 100% RGRE, with all those tough mafiapones, cute colt receptionists, boytoys and prostitute stallions and tough marely ponice.
And then Anon came and it was cute.

Shame writefag disappeared(((

>>26955261
>>26955288

Looks like I have more story in my pastebin, so here's link : (there's more after "more reason to show her how the man should act" your paste ended with) . Enjoy.

http://pastebin.com/cs0tyn7V

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>>26955660
More story you say?

this is awewsome

>>26955628
>Be Anon
>A magic space hole is inside your shower
>You know this because it just pulled you in
>So now you're in a big glowy tube like that special effect from stargate
>Except this is more purply than that one.
>And has moonrunes all over the sides
>YOU KNEW THE NIPS WERE /A/yyliens!
>Oh hey there's the end of the tunnel
>You are flung out of the space-hole onto a purple child horse thing
>"AAH!"
"AAAAH!"
>You both flail around screaming until a larger but still smaller than normal horse thing comes in
>"What's all the screaming about?"
>"Mom help! My alien fell over and can't get up"
>The larger of the small horses comes over and drags you by your batman pyjamas off the child small horse
>You resume screaming, and flee from the horse alien koreans
>You find a door to the outside and go through it
>There are lots more chinese space equines outside
>You run back inside and barricade yourself in one of the rooms
>Once you finish barricading the door you sit down to figure out your next move
>What would Batman do?
>He'd have prepared for this long ahead of time and have a bat-gadget to solve everything
>Fuck, that's not helpful to you at all.
>Your thoughts are interrupted by a huge white horse appearing in a flash of light, which is also somewhat reminiscent of a stargate special effect
>Though this time it's the flashy white teleportation one instead of the tubey glowy bluey stargetey one
>These are definitely aliens.
>"Do not be alarmed, nopony here means you harm. I am Princess Celestia, teacher of the one who brought you here"
"Hello."
>You and this white princess horse have lots of expository dialogue
>It's not included here because it's hard to write dialogue
>What?
>Okay, I'll slap something together anyway.
>"I apologise for you sudden arrival here, but my student has a knack for getting into trouble, which she is now in a lot of."
"Where is here anyway?"
>"You are in the city of Canterlot in the nation of Equestria on the planet Earth."

>>26955745
kek, moar

>>26954303
WHO ARE YOU, MYSTERY WRITEFAG?

>>26955745
"You call your planet Earth too?"
>"We do indeed call this planet Earth, but we Ponies were not the ones to give it that name. Our world was given this name by an ancient race who lived here before us."
>"That race was known as Humanity, and have been extinct for hundreds of millions of years"
"Well shit."
>"Also we can't send you back to the past, because magic is a little bitch like that"
"Fuck."
>This is a lot to take in
>"I know it's a lot to take in, but I promise that we will do our best to help you."
>You're going to need some time to think about this.
>"I can only imagine how much you have to think about with this revelation, feel free to take your time."
"Yeah, I do. This is a lot to process."
>"When you are ready to talk more, just ask one of the armoured guardsponies to bring you to me."
>You sit there and think.
>Everyone you've ever known and loved is long dead.
>Your friends, family, gone.
>Your parents.
>As you sit there having lost everything, you hang your head and look down
>Your parents are dead.
>You'd like to be able to say that something inside you changed in that moment, your determination and willpower crystalizing to turn you into something both more and less than a man.
>But that's not true.
>You're still the same slightly unstable Anon you've always been, except now your parents are dead.
"MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!"
>You are Batman.
>YOU ARE THE NIGHT.

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>>26955821
and then anon and luna fights evil villains together the end

>>26955910
>Implying Anon and Luna could work together instead of fighting over who is the night

>>26954311
>Ponies think Anon is David Bowie

>>26954981
It didn't, I linked the desu storage last time because I didn't have a moment to make a paste for the story but I'm able to now. I think this'll suffice for the time being for those who might be interested in picking this story up. http://pastebin.com/s8hhhB5t

>>26953582
That will be explained at the start of the new update.

>>26956199
nigga you what

she got her cutie mark
thats a momentous thing that should bring about immediate excitement

>>26954474
This.

>>26956458
Your lack of reading comprehension is pretty solid. Nowhere in >>26956199 does he say that it isn't momentous. He specifically said: That will be explained at the start of the new update.

So are you thirsty or are you retarded?

>>26956458
It is, but it may not be as initially exciting for a pony raised by a father who has no cutie mark.
Her dad finding love may be more important to her than some butt tattoo.

>>26956488
>"Well, sister dearest, we suppose we art simply.... BETTER with stallion-folk than thou."

>Cadence is there to witness her daughter getting her cutie mark
>It's hearts; so similar to her own
>Has to leave with Shining

It must burn.

>>26954101
>"Yeah, I don't think your microphone stand would've been enough to stop her."
>>Sweetie shrugs, "It's not really for stopping her as much as it is giving me a second to aim the spray bottle."
>>You follow her eyes to the bottle labeled "Show no mercy".
That gave me a good fucking giggle, m8.

>>26956554
its actually her dad i expected to have more of a reaction
i thought he wasnt even sure she could get one

>>26956557
>"Colt's do so enjoy a well formed flank and not one bulging with cake."

>>26956595
Jumping up and hugging her isn't enough of one?

>>26956597
>>"Sh-shut up! There are LOTS of colts who appreciate a... a... a curvy mare!"
>"Oh sister... Colts are curvy; mares are fat."

>>26956609
no

>Celestia is enamoured with Anon and goes far out of her way to seduce him and "make a proper colt" out of him
>She shows up wherever he goes and nopony is any the wiser
>eg Anon and Twilight grab some lunch; Celestia (wearing a fake moustache) is their waiter. Twilight is clueless.

>>26957314

>Be Anon
>And you have decided that you hate Equestria.
>You JUST wanted to get some lunch with Twilight, but instead you were treated to the sight of Celestia pretending to be your waiter.
>AND YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED.
>Celestia was just wearing a fake mustache and a waiter's outfit!
>"And what can I get for your lovely friend, Miss?" she asked Twilight, all the while giving you bedroom eyes.
>Twilight opens her mouth to order for you, but you speak faster.
"Just a peanut-better and jelly sandwich is fine."
>You glare at Celestia, scowling.
>"Is something wrong, Anon?" Twilight asks you, looking concerned.
>You REALLY hate Equestria.

>>26957913
plot twist

>You are working at your job at a local Prench restaurant.
>Canterlot has those, and you work there.
>The Prench have this legend of a sasquatch-type creature, and you fit the bill well enough that you blend in with the decor.
"Hello, miss, and welcome to are you fucking kidding me right now?"
>Your guest for today: Celestia
>Wearing a fake moustache and glasses.
>She's glaring pretty hard at the menu, moving it closer and further away from herself
>Guess those are prescription.
>Not HER prescription, but still prescription.
>"Uhh..."
>You hesitantly ready your paper and pen.
>"Dohs... Tah-kos."
>Wow.
>Celestia looks at you expectedly and begins to sweat nervously
>"....pohr fayver."
>Brilliant.
>You're actually impressed at how badly Celestia is fucking up the wrong language.
>Leader of Equestria, ladies and gentlemen.

(1/1)

>It's been several months since you entered Equestria.
>You were actually trying to get into Middle Earth, but I guess you took a wrong turn at Atlantis.
>In any case, they have no Google Maps here, so you're stuck for now.
>Another thing Equestria seems to lack is gender equality.
>Colts, and by extension, men, are treated as objects and forced to serve the Mare-triarchy. Day in, day out, it's hard labour and mating duty.
>You've had enough of this shit.
>They achieved gender equality in your world, so it should be possible here as well.
>It is settled, then. You'll be the Rosa Parks of this realm.
>You step into the bus and go sit in front.
>The mares in the bus react in outrage.
"This is an outrage!"
"You're not supposed sit in the bus, you're supposed to push it!"
>But you remain resilient.
"I'm not moving. It is high time that mares and colts be treated as equals in this realm."
>A unicorn mare immediately incinerates you with her horn, because colts are an expendable resource.
>They make an example of you, and the Mare-triarchical agenda is advanced once again.

>>26958251
>You are Anon
>It wasn't actual fire; it was TELEPORT fire.
>You were teleported off of the bus and that fucking unicorn mare took your seat.
>You know who she is; you remember her cutie mark.
>You find her house and piss on her front door.
>Take that, mare-triarchy.

>>26958068

Later on

>Be Anon again
>You just got home from work to find dozens of boxes
>All addressed to you from a 'Secret Admirer'.
"It isn't much of a secret if she puts her cutie mark on the envelope..."
>Opening the boxes reveals that they're filled with clothes.
>Frilly clothes, the kind this world's stallions would wear.
>Lingerie, socks, testicle bras...
>How'd she get your measurements anyway?
>You shake your head. Nope, it doesn't matter.
>You spend the next few hours burning your 'gift' in your backyard.
>When ponies asked, you told them you were grilling meat, and that usually made them grossed out enough to leave.
>You wonder if this will make Celestia take a hint?
>But you doubt it.

>>26955910
Make a green of this!

>Salt is drugs in Equestria b/c IRL horses get super-high off of salt
>Anon sweats salt
>Ponies sweat water and sugar
>Anon is brought before the Princess
>He's really fucking nervous
>He's sweating all over
>Horse-nose is sensitive to the smell of salt-drug
>Princess stops half-way through her welcome speech and her "colt relocation" plans for Anon and sniffs the air
>She walks up to Anon
>"Forgive me, father. You taught me better than this how to treat a stallion."
>LIIIIIIICK

>>26958373
>...that being said, you think a bit of revenge is in order.
>You obviously can't do anything to Celestia, what with her being royalty and the co-leader of Equestria.
>But you CAN make her sexually-frustrated as hell.
>You've grown wise to these backwards horse-laws; you know you're the horse-woman.
>Worst comes to worst, you'll just cry "rape" and run away.
>
>It's the next day and surprise surprise, Celestia is back again.
>This time she's wearing a fake beard and a wig that just sits on top of her mane.
>It doesn't even hide anything.
>Like
>At all.
>"Bohn-jeur, mihs-eyur!"
>Oh god, please stop.
"Y-yes, hello. What can I get foooor~ you?"
>At the word "for", you stretch, reaching your arms up into the air.
>Your shirt rides up, revealing the straps of your testicle bra that sit on your hips like a thong would.
>Celestia's eyes widen and you suddenly smell strawberries.
>.......
>That's fucking gross, Celestia.

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>>26956817
>Mares are fat

I didn't know we had so many plebs in this thread

>>26958753
>rgre
>mares are men
>men can't be curvy
It's like you don't even read this thread's green.

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>>26953359
>candence's powers have been corrupted since anon
>can't match anyone properly anymore
>good matches always result in failure and bad ones result in marriages and lots of foals
>love horse has lost her talent

>>26958593

>You soon started noticing that your underwear was going missing as well,
>And you had a pretty good idea of what Celestia was doing with it.
>So you decided to ask Twilight for help.
>When you told her that someone was breaking into your house and stealing your stuff, she agreed to help instantly.
>The two of you set up a few magical traps inside your house.
>The traps were designed to only go off on somebody who wasn't you or on your approved list of guests.
>From there, all you had to do is wait.
>You woke up in the middle of the night to the sounds of a mare's screams and the traps going off.
>When you go to check, you find none other than Celestia tied up in a magic suppressing net.
>"O-Oh! Um... Hello, Anonymous! What are you doing here at this time of night?"
>You fold your arms with a raised eyebrow.
"I live here, Your Highness."
>She pretend to just remember that, "S-So you do! I'm sorry, Anonymous. I-I've been alive for thousands of years, I think I might be finally going senile! Now if you could just let me out...?"
>She grinned nervously.
>You facepalm.
"That depends. Will you stop stalking me?"
>"What are you talking about? I'm not stalking anypony!"
>You shook your head in disappointment.

>>26958956
So Celestia is like the perverted old man spying on young chicks in this situation?

>>26959026

Kinda, she's pretending she wasn't just caught trying to steal Anon's clothes so she could masturbate with them.

>>26958953
>>love horse has lost her talent
Anondiana Jones and the Temple of Love

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93UvtRCPm_M

>>26958373
>Frilly clothes, the kind this world's stallions would wear.
>Lingerie, socks, testicle bras...
I think this thread needs more "dresses and acts provocatively to mess with ponies" Anon.

>>26958956
>"That depends. Will you stop stalking me?"
>>".....No."

>>26959110
Rarity should provide him.

>>26958373
>>Frilly clothes, the kind this world's stallions would wear.
Get the fuck out, Sissy Mare and Trap Tickler fetishist. Back to your containment thread.

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>>26953941
>Be Applejack.
>Be doing…nothing today.
>It's the middle of harvest season.
>The red galas are bright red, the Granny Smiths are nice and tart, and the whole orchard is alive with activity.
>Except for you. You're sleeping in today.
>Only at his insistence, mind you.
>Mama worked every day right up until she gave birth to Applebloom, so why couldn't you?
>You can hear the thud of hooves on bark, as the harvest begins in earnest.
>Half the darn Apple Clan came out to help with this harvest, when they'd heard the news…
>It warmed your heart, but did little to date your pride.
>You're the lead Apple mare now, consarnit! You should be out there…!
>But he was worried you might hurt the foal.
>Shoot, he's always worrying about you…
>makes you feel wanted.
>Special.
>Like for than just some mud covered dirt Pony.
>You can hear him giving directions outside to Applebloom, helping her with technique while Big Mac gets the east field.
>He's so good with her…
>When she came home crying that first night, after Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara had called her a Mary-colt, he'd held her without question.
>Cheered her up…
>Made her smile.
>And that night, she had whispered to you that she wished her could be her papa…
>Nothing will ever replace Pa…but Anon?
>He's close enough.
>You yawn and roll over, facing away from the sunlight streaming through the window.
>And you smile as you feel his gift to you kicking, impatiently.
>Heh, just like her Momma!
>Just like her Daddy, too!
>You are Applejack.
>And you ain't doing nothing today.

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>>26959173
Aww yess.

>>26959135

>Not reading the rest to see Anon burned them instead of wearing them.

>"So Anon, have you given any thought 'bout joining our herd?"
>Cadence grins at you while Shining Armour just smiles passively.
>His cock also twitches a bit.
>You saw that, you bitch.
"Listen, guys, I've read up on what would be.... EXPECTED of me, right?"
>You shift uncomfortably and look at Shining apologetically.
"It isn't anything personal, Shining Armour; I'm just not into men."
>Shining looks a bit surprised, but Cadence gapes at you in shock.
>"Oh. OH! What? Okay."
>She tilts her head and her ears flop back.
>"Really? Wow. That's... fine, Anon. I don't think my herd would, uh, benefit from having a monosex in it."
>Cadence catches herself when Shining smacks her leg with a hoof.
>"N-not that there's anything WRONG with that! I mean, it's your choice, right? None of my business."
>Your silence fills the room.
>"Look, I mean..."
>Cadence is so uncomfortable you can FEEL it.
>"It's just kind of gross, okay? It's like... you're a real cool gal, Anon, but that monosex stuff just rubs me the wrong way."
>She won't meet your eyes.
>"I'm sorry, okay?! It's just... I'm sorry."
>Ponies sure are weird.

>Today was a "god hates fags" kind of day.
>>26959110
Agreed.

>>26959173
aaaaaaah
AAAAAAAAAH
Snippet, why? That's so fucking adorable!

>>26959281
I was asked.

>>26956609
Yes, it is. Anon is a human and does not real feel like a tattoo telling you your talent is very important. If anything the reactions in the show are overdone.

>>26959317
Well you did good.

>>26959332
I still got, like, 2 more.
Plus I'm gonna do a Big Mac one.

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>>26959351
Cool.

>>26959327
>"Venus, what you have there is your talent. The one thing in your life that you'll do the best at. It's your strength; your instinct; the thing you were meant to do. You're lucky, you know. You know your greatest strength, and you can now use that as an anchor to figure out your greatest weakness. And once you find that, you can improve."

>>26959388
>Be Venus
>Get your cutie mark.
>Apparently it's a pretty big deal, a real accomplishment that shows what you can do best in the world.
>All your dad talks about is how much you need to improve.
>Feels bad, filly.

>>26959438
>You are Anon
>Your daughter got her cutie mark
>It's a pretty big deal if these ponies are to be believed
>You believed Cadence when she told you that she loved you, but hey. Who's counting.
>You tell your daughter that now that she knows what she's good at, she can improve the things she's bad at
>She goes to her room and cries
>Why can't you dad right?

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>>26956458
>>26956864
>>26959388
>>26959438
>>26959637
>You are Anon
>Your writefag isn't writing his story the way you want him to
>He says its his story, but you're the reader and without you he wouldn't be a writer so it's your story.
>You make a critique
>He says he's going to address that in the next installment
>#notonyourwatch #nogreenopeace
>Begin furiously shitposting

>Anon meets a nice mare
>She's well-off, money-wise
>They hit off and she takes him on dates, doting on him
>Buys him lavish gifts
>He's more than willing when she asks for sexual favours
>Private, public; how could he say no to a mare that's done so much and cares so much for him?
>Anon soon realizes that he has a sugar-mama

>>26959726
stop making me feel bad, bon-poster.

SHUK I'M SORRY, WE LOVE YOU

>>26953815
this is really weird
if it came to this, I'd rather be childless over populating the world with some mutants

>>26959746
That's not really what I'd call over populating.

>>26959762
Good thing I didn't mention it then

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>>26959173
oh goodness my heart

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>>26959351
>Plus I'm gonna do a Big Mac one.
?
Red Gala?
Or femanon?

>>26959746
What are minotaurs?

What are gryphons? Both hybrids, that's what.

>>26959729

Gold-Digger Anon when?

>>26959893
But these are cohesive, already existing and present in mythology whereas shit like Satyrs look like a conjoined mad scientist freak experiment.

>>26959969
Satyrs are a thing in mythology as well.

They're just part goat, not horse.

>>26959969
Satyrs, sphinxes, minotaurs.
Just about everything Anon could make are established mythos somewhere.
>Tradition only, no new allowed.

>>26959986
That's actually a mix up with with fauns. Satyrs actually were usually horse mixes.

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>>26960035
I still find >>26953815 quite disturbing and I have no doubt ponies would as well
in my headcanon the resulting child would just be a normal pony, thanks to magic and shit

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>>26960248
That's fine too. There just isn't that much art on the subject (human x pony pregnancy and offspring) so we have to use satyr pictures sometimes.

>>26959122
>>26958956

>You sighed as you downed another shot.
>You had decided to go to a karaoke bar and relax with one of the few male friends you had managed to make here.
>Caramel.
>It was always a laugh to see drunk mares and stallions make fools of themselves on stage.
"Caramel?"
>"Yeah, Anon?" Caramel looked away from the admittedly cute barkeep he was chatting with.
"Do you ever get tired of mares hitting on you?"
>He shrugs, "Of course I do. But it's not like I can blame them when you like as gorgeous as I do." he puffed his chest at the end.
>You rolled your eyes.
>"What brought this on? Is someone bothering you?" he asks.
>Yes, and it's the mare who raises the sun every morning.
"Kinda. It's just this one persistent mare who can't seem to take a hint no matter how many times I tell her to fuck off."
>You down another shot.
>"Have you tried getting the police involved? I'm sure you could get a restraining order or something."
>And what? Tell them that their ruler is stalking you? Like Celestia couldn't just overturn it.
"I did. I got Twilight to help me set up some magic traps in my house when I noticed some of my stuff going missing. I caught her in a trap in the middle of the night a few weeks ago, but she managed to get out before I could bring Twilight back to take her away."
>Caramel looks concerned, "This sounds really serious Anon. I think you might need to stay over at my place for a bit. You shouldn't sleep alone if she's so crafty."
>You snorted.
"And deal with you and your herd being all lovey-dovey most of the time? Pass."
>"I'm being serious, Anon!" he glared cutely at you.
>"Your rink, sir." the barkeep passed you some fruity looking excuse for alcohol.
>You stared down at it in disgust before turning to the barkeep.
"I didn't order this."
>"The lady over there did, sir." she pointed to your left.
>And of course it was Celestia in another one of her flimsy disguises.

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>>26960248
I see nothing disturbing about this at all.

>>26960668
well you're a weirdo

>>26960600
>"Your rink, sir"
Didn't know Anon was Canadian.

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>>26960691
I just like the idea of a hybrid child. It's like... physical evidence of your union so to speak.

>>26960698

>rink

FUCK, sorry

>>26960600

prepare for autism.

>This time she seemed to be evoking the image of a typical dudebro. Or dudesis as it's called here.
>Sunglasses, shirt with a popped collar, and a backwards cap.
>She winked at you with a smug grin.
>You scowl intensely.
>"Is that her, Anon?" Caramel whispered to you.
"Yep."
>He started to scowl at her as well, "Hey! Stop bothering my friend, you jer-!"
"Caramel."
>You have an idea.
>"Eh? What is it?"
"Let's see if a song will get her to leave. Follow my lead."
>You grab your friend and head up to the currently empty stage.
>"H-Hey! Wait, Anon!"
>You noticed that ponies were good at spontaneous musical numbers.
>Like, ridiculously good to the point where they could dance in perfect synchronization. You were told it was some kind of 'harmony magic' they had.
>Might as well take advantage of it.
>You raise the mike as high as it will go, which isn't very high because most ponies are short. So you just grab the whole stand.
"This next song is dedicated to somepony who I've grown to know over the past few months. Someone whose persistence knows no bounds, and I think she'll find that it's about to pay off."
>You saw Celestia puff up in pride. Ha. She thinks she's won.
"Hit it!'
>That magical music starts to play as you start to relive your old shame.

What song should Anon and Caramel sing?

>>26960779
This should ruin everything!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHzOOQfhPFg

>>26960779
How about the "I love stallion cocks so leave me the fuck alone" song, that one should work. And to emphasize the point have Anon just fuck Caramel on stage to drive the point home.

Or whatever else you can think of.

>>26960779
how about
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RFfByyMqd4&index=9

or
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a31vY8YNTg

>>26960779
https://www.tumblr.com/video/khadidon/138102588679/500/

>>26960779

Probably gonna get laughed at but
http://youtu.be/MiYLLhBPxIk

>>26960779
there is only one real choice here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrZHPOeOxQQ

>>26960736
Don't be ashamed of your heritage, Anon.

>>26960779
For shits and giggles.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v0fy1HeJv80

>>26960779
>What song should Anon and Caramel sing?
https://youtu.be/ACVhMas2Uxk?t=1m20s

>>26960838
>FNAF
Ew.

>>26960862
>>26960779

PERFECT.

"SHOT THROUGH THE HEART! And you're to blame! Darling you give love a bad name!"
>You tap your foot as the guitar chords and music starts to pick up.
"An angel's smile is what you sell. You promise me heaven then put me through hell!"
>Caramel soon picked up on the lyrics intuitively, "Chains of love got a hold on me!
When passion's a prison you can't break free!"
>You sing this next part in unison.
"Oh~! You're a loaded gun, yeah! Oh~! There's nowhere to run! No one can save me! The damage is done!"
>You stare intently at Celestia, who's smugness starts to disappear as she realizes the meaning of the song.
"Shot through the heart, and you're to blame! You give love a bad name!"
>You emphasize that last part as you sing.
>"I play my part and you play your game!"
You give love a bad name!"
>The other patrons, mares and stallions alike, start to rock out to the song as the two of you sing.
>Truly, Bon Jovi fixes everything.
"Hey, you give love a bad name~!"
>You hear the cheers.
"Paint your smile on your lips! Blood red nails on your fingertips!"
>"A school colt's dream, you act so shy!"
Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye!"
>Celestia looks like she's starting to sulk.
>Good.

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>>26960871
Woah there dark lord fucking satan, you want a civil war? Cause' that's how you get civil wars.

First actual interesting suggestion. Mate in two moves!

>>26960951

>"Whoa! You're a loaded gun! Whoa! There's nowhere to run!"
"No one can save me! The damage is done!"
>"Shot through the heart and you're to blame! You give love a bad name!"
"I play my part and you play your game! You give love a bad name!"
"You give love, oh!"
>"A bad name!"
>The song continues on, the bar thumping with music.
>By the time you finished, the entire building was stomping and whooping with adrenaline.
>And Celestia was nowhere to be seen.
>Mission accomplished.

>>26961008
Personally, Bon Jovi hits harder against Cadence, but it gets the message across here.

>>26961069
Cadence = foolish princess of the cock carousel
Venus = Princess of True Horsemarriage
Venus will Make Love Great Again!

>>26960961
>>26961069
>Bon Jovi
>not Bon Bon Jovie

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>you will never horsemarry your one true apelien horsebando

>>26961346
ROLEPLAY! MODS! MOOOOODS! HELP!

>>26959173
Yis. Yis this 8s the good thing. Apple mare deserves a day off to be lazy and for belly rubs with kicks!

>yfw you will never get to feel your spawn kick in waifus tummy

>>26960871
>>26960961
"Do what you must. I have already won."

>>26961226
This is somewhat relevant to my next update.

>>26961226

>Venus runs for Princess of Equestria after Celestia dies
>Promises to build a wall to keep the Changelings out and make them pay for it.

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>>26962042
>Implying that's not what Luna is doing

>>26960779
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8Ow1nlafOg

>>26962292

>Implying Venus and Luna aren't running mates

>>26962292
>Princess Luna support rally
>Cadence supporters try to shut it down
>One punches a dude and gets maced
>"Love and Tolerance but only when it's MY viewpoint and opinions"

>>26962606
>Implying I'm implying
Not at all.
Anyway, harsh foreign policy sounds more loony than venusy.
>>26962796
>Principality
>Support rallies
Actually, how is the balance of power decided in Equestria? We had one princess for so long I actually have no idea how they 3 + 1 (and soon 4 + 2) are going to interact

>>26962837

I think Cadence's main power is limited to the Crystal Empire.

Celestia has proably been slowly easing Luna back into being her co-ruler and helping her adjust to all the law changes. That being said, Celestia likely still has way more power than her power.

Twilight doesn't seem to be involved in politics aside from the ceremonial stuff and meeting foreign ambassadors.

Flurry Heart is a baby and thus has no political power.

Venus may be an alicorn, but she's not a princess and thus has no power.

>>26962837
>and soon 4 + 2
u wot m8

>>26962895
>>helping her adjust to all the law changes
>"Sister! That colt isn't wearing his burka! Quick, stone him to death!"

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>>26962895
>>Flurry Heart is a baby and thus has no political power.
But she does have power over my dick.

>>26963042
No bad anon. away with you.

>>26963029

>"Luna, no. Saddle Arabia seceded from Equestria centuries ago. We don't do that anymore."

Testing to see if everything I touch dies. Don't mind me.

>>26963112

I don't get it.

>>26963215
Ok it seems like I'm safe. I've responded to four threads which just collectively died after I posted. Pruned. I'm just trying to see if I pissed off a mod, personally.

>>26963242

Well it seems your name is misleading.

>>26963112
>>26963242
Nigga, if you've got the HIV then go plague up a different thread. Better yet, go give it to /mu/. That place is built for shitposting.

>>26962895
Yes, that is the current situation, but what about the future?
Luna and Celestia couldn't divide the power when there was two of them. Ok, Cadance is away, being basically what, governor? What is the relationship between the Crystal "Empire" and Equestria?

So the question of how the responsibilities will be divided when the three Equestrian princesses are in good shape stands.
inb4 Celestia set Luna up for horsemarriage so that she is too busy to rule.

I suppose the born alicorns (Flurry/Venus) may or may not actually want to have anything to do with politics when they grow up, but the born alicorns are whole other can of worms already. How many more are there going to be? And good luck dodging princesshood when your royal heritage is literally written on your body. Not in a state where the monarchy isn't just for show. I guess you can be such a disappointment that the elder princesses put you in a monastery?

>>26963022
No, not 8, 4 + 2 is 6 you silly colt

>>26963242
Succubus thread was taken over by OC lovers, there's a reason their threads died out, all they do is jerk off thinking about being sat on instead of writing.

>>26962837
>>26962895
who the fuck is this venus?

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>>26963242
Just don't roleplay being a disappointment. THEN the mods will get ya! They always keeping a sista down.
>>26963442
Ask her dad.

>>26963421

I don't think Venus would actually have to do anything politics-related unless Cadence died. Even then, they'd probably pick Flurry over her because she has more legitimacy than Venus.

I think Luna would always be behind Celestia in terms of power due to the 1000 year gap despite their efforts to change that.

Flurry, like Venus, probably wouldn't have to do anything serious unless Cadence died. I can see her getting deeply involved in the military in an attempt to follow in Shining's hoofsteps.

Twilight... I have no idea.

>>26963480
>>26963577
oh so it's just some roleplaying
you had me startled there for a second thinking they're adding another shitty princess into the show

>>26963650

>roleplaying

It's not roleplaying. It's green.

But you were right to fear the possibility of another princess in the show.

>>26963650
You were startled. Were you roleplaying one of the flower sisters?

>>26961069
what was the other story where this was a thing?

Dear Miss Mare:

I just don't know what to do about my colt anymore. He's one of the human colts, and though I love him to death he has a lot of behavioral issues endemic to his race. It's gotten bad, to the point I'm thinking of just having him fixed. It'll mean no satyr abominations, but that's no real loss, right? That's what a stallion is for! He was mostly for pleasure anyways.

Am I being too harsh?

That's roleplay. I don't know what else people are accusing of being roleplay, but this is the kinda stuff that happens here occasionally.

>>26964062
No, that's also not roleplay. That's a fictional letter to a fictional advice column. You could put meme arrows on it and it would be a standard greentext story.

Roleplay is much faggier and easily recognized. It almost always comes with avatar images too.

>>26964062 >>26964089
stop roleplaying bitter 4chan losers please

>>26964089
Ugh, what a dingus! Probably a griffy.
Not as bad as those dirty ziggers though, right gals?

>>26964062
I would not fault Anon at all if he split that mare in half with an axe.

>>26964178
Pretending to be from ponychan is also not roleplaying.

>>26964196
Would you finally stop fucking roleplaying??? You are not actually Anonymous, you have a fucking name!!! Get back to fucking ponychan!!!

Man, life is shit. I've been stuck in Equestria for a few months now.
It wouldn't be so bad, but my crazy ex who abandoned our daughter with me is trying to sabotage my relationship.

What do you think, pony friend?

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>>26964284
You still have your daughters, right?
Most fillies are perfectly willing to be their father's socks. And studies show that it helps keep the family close knit when a stallion ends up a single parent.
To say nothing of how much mares love a guy who's good with foals. Take the plunge, your daughters will thank you, and you'll have mares supporting you again in no time.

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>>26964337
RGRE. Turning anything into pedoincest. Never change!
On second thought, do change.

>>26964284
>roleplaying
careful Anon, don't want Scuffy to have an aneurysm.

Does anyone have a cap or link to the short Fluttershy story that was posted here a while ago where she has some sort of severe anxiety disorder and is in a relationship with Anon. On a side note that should definitely be continued.

>>26964337
Now this may just be me in my out of touch, ignorant human ways, but I believe that socking your daughters is immoral! What's more, the concept of herding makes me uncomfortable, and I am also completely mono sexual for the mares.

Honestly, I'm looking for a good opinion, from a fellow human male on human chan.

>>26964358
That story had a sad ending. Luckily it was retconned by someone else, but I don't know if that's enough to satisfy me.

>>26964358
I posted something like the earlier, with a preggers fluttershy, but that was building on another story that was started by Frosty but completely by BNW.

Seriously though, I will kiss whoever finds that story.

>>26964358
>>roleplaying
>careful Anon, don't want Scuffy to have an aneurysm.
Dirty coward draft-dodger detected.
You weren't there, girl, you weren't there.

>>26964372
>I am also completely mono sexual for the mares.
Wouldn't it be sensible that males in the standard herding world were straight, and females are usually bi? When there's so few guys, seems people would be a little worried anytime they saw a guy making bedroom eyes at another guy.

>>26964419
Males are also bi, as the sexual contact helps increase love and trust within a herd, and decrease infighting between males.

Homohorses though are EVIL, repugnant deviants! Taking their good breed stock out of the gene pool, how could they be so selfish?!

Love between mares though is beautiful, and truer than anything a mare could feel for a stallion.

>>26964358
>>26964389

https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26520921/#26522456

>>26964527

>Love between females is beautiful
>Love between males is repugnant.

Just like real life!

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>>26964419
Larger herds with more than one male?
>>26964089
>Roleplay is much faggier and easily recognized.
>mfw
You poor thing. On ponychan, users there are not allowed to mock, attack or harass you and your feelings!
Also, the term you're looking for is not 'faggot'. It's 'dyke'.

>>26964623
Monosexuals are always repugnant. What body part do you read the posts with?

WTF is going on with this tumblr tier shit?

>>26964623
There's a few parts of RGRE that are like that. The rationale simply changes. Part of what makes the genre seem so dynamic to me.

The colts COULD be the ones dressing up in frilly outfits to attract a herd, but it could just as likely be the mares who dress up to try and attract colts.

And then the mares state that their superior fashion sense is proof of their superior cultural intelligence, which is why colts can't into creativity.

>>26964685
Lurk more, this shit always happens between green, it fine

>>26964664

Realistically though, both genders would be dressing up to attract each other.

Mares because they have to stand out for a stallion to pick them.

And stallions would do it to actually snag a decent herd. Ugly colts would probably still get fucked only because there's no other option besides homosexuality, but I'd bet you five bucks that the mare wouldn't stick around after the sex.

>>26964806

Meant to quote >>26964693

>>26964642
>Larger herds with more than one male?
Disgusting. Polyandry is trash.

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continued from: http://pastebin.com/PQpyiM9b

Remember Ogres and Oubliettes? Pepperidge farm remembers.
Last time: Lich Queen
This time: Roleplay-wait shit

This is the battle scene that I pussied out on.
By the way, for those of you who are stupid like me and need a legend:
Anon: Cuntkicker
Minuette: Grimfeathers, griffin druid
Twinkle: Ivory Dawn, uni wizard
Lemon: Crystal Rose, uni cleric

>You are Ivory Dawn, and you stand before you wretched enemy.
>A foul mockery to living ponies, brought to animation though majykks so dark that you would have them cast out and forgotten rather than remembered.
>This is what you've been tasked in killing.
>Sent in by cowards for a fool's errand.
>You gaze upon its ruined visage and take in the rotting skin and exposed bone.
>And those eyes.
>Those horrible, empty eyes.
>Perhaps you ARE a fool.
>And fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
>It might be wishful thinking, but you think that this... skeletal beast looks fragile enough.

------------------------

>You are Twinkleshine.
"DM?"
>Moonie looks your way.
"I cast - "

------------------------

" - Shatter!"
>A ripple in the air is the only indication that your spell had been cast.
>Looking like air heating above a fire, your spell quickly closes the distance between you and your foe.
>With an ear-bursting ~BAMF~, the spell impacts!
>The skeletal creature stumbles back and its bones shake unnaturally in their sockets, but it is otherwise unharmed.
>....no.
>No, that was supposed to work.

>>26964693
Snippet.
When's Queen Buggums coming back? We need to have first man-bug daughteru.

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>>26964956

>You are Minuette, and you're pretty sure that's a lich.
>It's described as a skeletal pony, but after all this?
>A skeleton is too clean.
>Too simple.
>Too easy.
"Hey, Moons, I wanna roll my wisdom to see what I know about this thing."
>Plastic impacts against wood from behind the Dungeon Master's sleeve, and you wait with baited breath.
>"Seventeen."

-----------------------

>"Ivory!"
>You whip your head towards your companion.
>Griffins are often so fearless, so arrogant and cock-sure of their superiority.
>But Grimfeathers looks afraid.
>This, not the skeletal pony, makes you feel a spike of dread bloom in your tummy tum tums.
>"A lich! The creature is a lich!"
>Your blood runs cold, and you forget to breath.
>"A powerful one if I'm right. See those robes? See the.... the eyes? That means it was strong in life."
>Grimfeathers' feathers ruffle instinctively as she pauses to get another good look at the lich.
>She continues.
>"...and even stronger in death."
>You hear a scream; not one of yours, and you look back over to your foe.
>It's standing up.
>You're facing a lich; and you woke it up.

---------------------------

>Be Cuntkicker
>Be formally on fire
>Be currently drowning
>Have second and third degree burns all over your everywhere
>You think you heard something about an itch, or a ditch, or something like that.
>You're pretty sure your teammates have it all under control.

------------------------

>Still Ivory Dawn
>Still facing a lich
>Still pissing your horsepants
"Hey, uh.... Crystal?"
>You keep your eyes locked on the lich's empty sockets.
"You maybe got some spells for the undead?"
>The lich takes a step forward and you involuntarily take one of your own in the opposite direction.
"Please?"

>You feel a hoof on your withers and a shimmering shield erupts around you.
>"Be at peace, friend. Salvation is at hand. I've Protected you From Evil."

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>>26964978
-----------------------------------------

>Be Minuette, aka Grimfeathers the griffin druid.
>Shit sucks, yo.
>Cuntkicker is drowning and this lich is spooking your characters something awful.
>Time to summon a monster.
"Moons? I cast 'Summon Nature's Ally, level 3'."
>A die roll.
>"One."
>Horsefeathers.

-------------------------------------------

>Back to being Ivory Dawn.
>The wind has picked up in the dungeon despite being hundreds of feet below the surface.
>Dust that had settled hundreds of years ago on the stone floor and rotting wooden furniture is kicked up.
>Grimfeather's eyes glow eerily as she channels the arcane energies you know so well.
>The very fabric of reality bends to her will, and it seems that everypony in the room, even the lich, stop what they are doing to watch Grimfeathers.
>With a mighty roar, Grimfeathers thrusts her staff forwards and releases the energy she had been gathering.
>The resulting flash of light forces you to step back.
>Partly out of shock, and partly to make room for whatever mighty creature she has summoned.
>......
>An enormous sharp-toothed fish is flopping on the ground in front of Grimfeathers.
>Without any water, it can't breath.

>Buck's sake.
>Brilliant.
>Just brilliant.
>Couldn't have even dumped it on top of the lich.
>It's just... there.
>On the floor.
>Dying.
>Nopony moves; not even the lich.
>You all stand around and watch the fish asphyxiate.
>This event feels special; like it has to be acknowledged.
>A monument of Grimfeather's failure.

~SPLOOSH~

>On the plus side, you are now one party member stronger.
>With a splash and a scream of victory and/or pain, Cuntkicker erupts from the burning water and flops onto the ground.
>He'll probably be wondering why there's an enormous fish lying dead on the ground, but you can explain things to the colt later.
>You need to keep them focused on one thing or else they don't get anything done.

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>>26964994

>You are Cuntkicker.
>You are in a lot of pain.
>You can see everypony standing in front of something.
>A fish?
>Not an itch or a ditch?
>Is that what's got everypony up in arms?
>Fucking ponies, man.

-----------------------

And that's all for tonight. The second half of the fight will be up tomorrow when I figure out what happens next. Hope this isn't shit after all this time, friends.

>>26964965
Ooooo-ho-ho-hoooooow!
>You are bugwife, and you're currently pushing an egg the size of a watermelon out of your cooter.
>There are tears rolling down your face, and you're in a kind of pain you've never experienced before.
>It's about halfway out now, after about 2 and a half hours of egg laying.
>You're sweaty, tired, your legs locked up so that you won't stop midway…
>And you also pooped at some point.
>Your babies have gone into full panic mode, and the hive seems to have devolved into a tribal confederation.
>Suddenly Anon walks in…
>"Honey, there are some ponies here and…"
>He wants to talk about PONIES?!?
>NO!
>You are a VERY UPSET BUGWIFE RIGHT NOW!!
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
>"OOooohkay, I'll come back later!"

>>26965089
10/10 would walk out on bugwife giving birth again

>>26965089
In all seriousness, the reason I haven't made more is because things are ramping up in college, right before the end here. I WILL say though, I plan on being a frequent poster this summer.

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>>26965019
I wish I didn't know most how this ended already because I know there will be no seducing the lich.

>>26965418
Where the fuck are the earholes?

>>26965320
>I plan on being a frequent poster this summer
50 dollars on snippet disappearing before summer

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>>26965320
No, Snippet, the trick is to drop out of college like me! HAHAHAHHHAA