Reversed gender roles Equestria: Matriarchy general

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fluster the mares

>>26838214
Be labeled a stud
Struggle forming a herd
Try not to cry
Cry a lot

>>26838234
I've spent all my time here in solitary, I can handle my time there in solitary too.

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>>26838481

>>26838200
The colors and design of this pic will always confuse me.

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>>26838200

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http://pastebin.com/SSZFq23u
Line 671

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Kt5Dm6prCU


i am not sober

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>>26838670
Nice voice/10

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>>26838234

>>26838481
>roleplay, while autistic, isn't against the rules
/mlp/ rule 4

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>>26839118 >>26838481
>>roleplay, while autistic, isn't against the rules
>/mlp/ rule 4
So you can just report whatever roleplay you find! Problem solved.

I know I do this whenever I see porn here.

>>26838670
eyyyy fuckin epic m8 i r8 reeeeeeee/8
that reeee was fucking spot on

M80

I always read this as mate-oh. Mostly because M8 is mate, and mate-oh is that sort of nonsense I can imagine Anon spewing.

I only realised last night on the train home it was probably supposed to be matey.

Am I retarded?

>>26839262
Yes

>>26839262
Yes, you are. I'm sorry, meighty

>>26838234
but anon, everypony know that sex is all mares think about

>>26839373
Duh, everyone knows they never let the comfort horses near them during heat. What, you never want a hosefamily of your own?

>>26839424
I don't know about hoses.

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>>26839489
>Not wanting to lay in a big hosepile with your hosesisters
Also, this thread is reversed flow hosequestria now.

>>26838670
kek

>>26839513
>Day reversed flow in hosequestria
>You are Anon, and you've just had a satisfying bodily waste relief.
>Y'all done pooped in the toilet, son.
>You've been in the bathroom longer than you should have been, but you needed to get away from all those pastel-coloured hoses and their strangely-sexist views on gender and equality.
>You pull the handle and flush.
>The toilet makes toilet-flushing noises, but the satisfying "GURROLOLOPHALURHG" at the end signifying that all the water in the bowl has drained, never happens.
>.....
>The flow.
>It's been reversed.
>You rip the lid open and the sight of still waters rising makes your heart skip a beat.
>There's no plungers in hosequestria
>That's because everything is a hose!
>Blocking one end of a hose is HOSEMURDER
>The room begins to flood with smelly liquid
>You drown shortly thereafter.

End.

>>26838670
My god. Wuten. You've made me want to watch DBZ all over again.

>>26838200
why would they make sexism part of their slogan? men don't actually do that.

>>26840016
Should had used a buttplug to seal the hole.

>>26840045
There's a bonposter that made a bunch of those and spams them in thread.

>>26840091
Yeah, getting real tired of her and the other roleplayers.

>>26840182
Sometimes I imagine it's just a guy who slaps his dick on his keyboard and mouse and somehow managed to accidentaly Bonpost

>>26840282
Strange, reads like an angry chick to me.

>>26840327
See, that's funny, I read it more as someone who's angry that they aren't a chick. Regardless, he keeps fucking up what RGRE is about. He gets it about as right as the occasional sissyfags that come in here and try to put down roots.

>>26840736
I just saw a women-first board once. Nasty, nasty stuff.
Can't say how many of them were real women though, but the tone is close, pretty toxic. All that's missing is discussing period shits and casual prostitution.

>>26840763
/cgl/

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How about we discuss what this filly's teen years are going to be like. When she starts taking an interest in colts, and even dating.

>>26840806
I'm down.

So would Anon be the cool dad, or the dad on the porch with the shotgun?

>>26840786
Different one.
Anyway, hold my cocksocks, I'm going in.

>>26840828
Probably a mixture. He doesn't want her making the same mistake he did, but he doesn't want to stifle her either.

>>26840806
I suppose a big part of that will be dictated by where she goes to school. Anon isn't exactly rolling in dosh, but due to his unique situation he ended up in what sounded like a pretty posh school.

So some of that will be dictated by where she goes to school and, by extension, who her peers are.

Do we know yet if its general knowledge that Anon is her biological dad? I figure she'd be proud about her hybrid heritage, but by the same token Anon isn't exactly a cultural icon so it'd be pretty easy for her to fly under the radar in that respect.

>>26840874
Given Anon picks her up from school, it would be reasonable to assume most classmates, teachers ect... would know. Other then that, only those that are interested in/regulalry interact with her for one reason or another would likely know Anon is her dad.

>>26840828
>>26840867
>"Now I know that colts get urges, and all teens have hormones that get to their heads. I remember those urges myself, even though humans and ponies are different. Very different. Earth was a different place from Equestria too. I'm sure Venus told you that humans eat meat, but what she doesn't know is we could eat horse meat too. It's pretty tasty. Now I haven't had any since I came to Equestria, but if you try any funny business with Venus... well, let's just say my cravings might get the better of me."

>>26840887
>>26840887
>Given Anon picks her up from school, it would be reasonable to assume. . .
Fair point.

So how would Venus be viewed? Is she different-as-freak or different-as-cool? Would dating her be an act of rebellion? Would she be considered a trophy due to her alicorn nature?

Not looking for answers to these questions per se, outside of narrative that is, in narrative I'd love to see these addressed , just throwing things out there for discussion.

For my money, I'd like to see a little of all the above. A mixed bag due to her heritage that gets a more positive spin once dating comes around, as colts would find her aggressive tendencies hot and mares would appreciate how quickly she stands up for her friends.

But I'm admitting a good amount of bus, as I'm a big fan of Venus.

>>26840806
How much would her human biology come into play? Assuming humans have higher libidos than ponies, due to evolved year round fertility as opposed to heat cycles, would Venus benefit from that? Would it be a benefit?

>>26841185
Given she's still mostly pony, her human genes might soften her heats a little, but up her year round friskiness.

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>>26840806
>Teenage years
>Taking interest in colts
>Not emo-rebelion phase

>"You don't understand me dad, you don't even have a horn!"
"Well, that doesn't make me..."
>You lean closer to your daughter wearing black saddlebags and a hooded cloak
"Any less horny"
>"I WANT TO DIE"

>>26841231
That being the case, would she act thirstier than other mares her age?

Also, given how her parents relationship turned out would she be more or less inclined to seek out colts over fillies?

As for other dynamics, I think herds and herding might be overwhelming for her. She's used to a small family, her and Anon, so the idea of a family being two or three times as big might be an issue.

If that were the case, that'd make for an interesting situation as >>26841122 sounds like an ideal alpha mare.

>>26841311
Mein gott. . .

Anon will get to mix horse puns and dad jokes. He'll be unstoppable.

>>26841366
"Are you feeling well, Venus? You sound a little horse. "

>>26838481
>tfw you get deleted, but the anon that shat on you also got it.
But why both? What did the brave warrior of light do wrong?
I sometimes wonder if the reports are actually reviewed or if content just gets deleted when enough come in. It usually works surprisingly well

>>26840045
The point is?... RGRE ponies wouldn't put sexism as one of their values?
Well, yes, they also wouldn't call Equestria 'Reversed Gender Roles Equestria', or have RGRE threads.
Not to mention that liberte-egalite-fraternite as a motto doesn't mesh that well with monarchy.

>>26840282
That is 100% accurate

>>26840736
>he keeps fucking up what RGRE is about.
So what is it about, hot stuff?
>He gets it about as right as the occasional sissyfags
Who?...

>>26841967
>"Dad? I've got some things I've been juggling and I wondered if you could help me out?"
"Sure thing, love, what seems to be the . . . mane problem?"
>". . . I just don't know what to do, dad. I mean, my friends are telling me that herds are normal and I'm great at managing all my friends. And there's something really, /really/ satisfying about being the alpha. I just don't know, dad."
"So, if I herd you right, you're wondering whither or not you should start dating multiple ponies?"
>"Yes. And please stop doing that."
"Doing what? Is there something you want me to rein in?"
>"I hate you so much."

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>"Yer gonna let'im go out there? Jus' like that?!"
>Granny Smith smiles sadly at her furious granddaughter, and raises a feeble foreleg.
>"Ah'm an old mare, Apple Bloom. Ah couldn't hold him back any more'n you could."
>Apple Bloom looks away in disgust and runs towards you instead, desperate to convince you to stay out of the storm.
>"Anawn, PLEASE! Y'all can't see nothin' out there in all this rain; how're you gonna find mah sister?"
>Oh, Bloomy.
>You've been over this before.
"Apple Bloom, the road to town stretches out for nearly an hour. Maybe double the time now that the ground is all mush. I'll be fine, alright?"
>Apple Bloom, the tiniest of all ponies, stomps her hoof with all the force she can muster.
>"No, it's NOT alright, Anawn! We wouldn't e'en send Big Mac out there, and he's the biggest'n toughest colt Ah've ever done seen!"
>She looks up at you and oh jeez she's crying.
>Apple Bloom never cries.
>You kneel down and hold your arms out and, as expected, Apple Bloom leaps into your embrace and nuzzles your face.
>When she speaks next, it comes out as a whimper.
>"Ah don't want to lose you, Daddy."
>Oh god.
>Your heart.
>"Not again."
>Fuck.
>FUCK.
>Oh goodness this tiny horse is so close to convincing you into staying behind.
>You can't take this.
>But you have to do go.
"Ohhh, my little Bloomy..."
>You hold her tightly to your chest and rock her back and forth.
"You don't have to worry about me, okay? I'll be back before you know it."
>You press a kiss onto her red mane, and pull back.
"Once I find Applejack, she'll protect me from anything that might happen out there, okay?"
>You give her a playful nudge.
"She's even tougher than you are."
>Apple Bloom giggles (it sounds a little watery) and reluctantly lets you go.
>"O-okay."
>You look over to Granny Smith and nod at her solemnly.
"I shouldn't be more than half an hour."
>She nods back.
>You open the front door and head out into the storm.

>>26838670
>>>/out/

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>>26842114
Anon, ah... ah need ya t' listen for a minute...

Ah know that y'wanted ta protect Ponyville and all, but... but ah heard you're goin' to try an' fight that hydra that attacked those ponies in Froggy Bottom Bog! That's crazy talk! Ah know that y'have that shiny sword Princess Celestia gave you, but... Anon, hydras are more than pretty much ANYPONY can wrangle! You think you're bein' noble and all, but gettin' yerself eaten by a hydra is...

Anon, please! Ah'm beggin' ya, don't go! Stop this foolishness, before ya... before....

... ah worry about ya, Anon. Every day an' night. And so does Granny Smith, an' Apple Bloom an' Big Mac! Why, even Winona perks up when yer around! If somethin' happened, ah... ah don't know what ah'd do, because... because I care for ya...

Please... stop tryin' ta be a hero, Anon. Hang up yer sword... ain't nopony would blame ya fer doin' it. An' stay here, with me on Sweet Apple Acres. The farmin' life is right honest work, an'... an' ah'd do my darnedest ta make you happy.

Please? Jus'... please don't go...

>>26842176
And they never saw the green swordsman again. he went pussy slaying in the east.

>>26841967
Venus, in her teenage years, develops some severe anger issues.

Not aimed at Anon and her family, but mostly at the finicky nature of love and ponies just wanting to get in her non-existent pants.

Anon often has to go down the school to get Venus, as she often throws insulting or rude ponies through walls or over tables.

She's very protective of her family, kinda like anti-rebellion, but can't understand why her dad pokes his head in her love-life: she extends him the same courtesy with Luna, why can't he do the same?

Of course, while smart to such things, she's still a teenager: Anon's just looking out for the devious colts, after all.

On hearing that her daughter has anger issues, especially regarding love and herself, Cadence feels even more guilty.

Of course,if she went to see her, Venus might break her muzzle on sight.

>>26842114
daww

>>26840806
>When she starts taking an interest in colts, and even dating.
Daddy's little best filly and daughter of a deadbeat mare?
In regular Gender Roles Terra that's recipe for long-term dating disaster.
I can only hope that her mare instincts and human predatory heritage help undo the coddling. Even if Anon is trying his best to raise her like a mare's mare, how can you stay harsh with a cute filly like this?

She really needs someone to give her good colt advice, a female role model with actual fresh experience. Rarity's mother, perhaps? It seems that Anon and his employers were pretty close.

>>26842226
Venus' mane naturally resembles that of her mother's, so she changes it when she's older into something spiked and punkish?

>>26842226
Venus may be more prone to physical acts of violence when angered, but she's not going to be an angry teen.
She will get pants made for herself, to stop the colts from staring.(She also likes dad jokes, for now)
I'm actually seeing her as a bit more of a perfectionist in love. Like, she sees how Luna and Daddy love eachother, and can see how well they mesh.
She isn't gonna settle for some random colt, she wants a soulmate, of sorts.

>>26842370
>"Breed that mare well, Dad"

>>26842370
>She will get pants made for herself
>not a dress
gay

>>26842479
In soviet Equestria, colt wear dress

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All those clothes! You're quite the slut, aren't you?

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>>26842592

>>26842592
A-anon, stop leaving your dirty socks everywhere! I-it's l-lewd.

>>26842638
The situation got uncomfortable when Anon decided to buy a pony warm wool socks because it was winter.

>>26842754
>Rarity is the only one who knows that Anon is dressing for warmth.
>Whenever she tries to defend him the others think that it is because she wants to give him the V

>>26842840
>>Whenever she tries to defend him the others think that it is because she wants to give him the V
>Secretly she does, but she never admits it.
>Even to herself.
>Luna sees one of these dreams, which have become less frequent but no less intense as Rarity gets older
>Is torn between being feeling territorial, wanting to encourage one of her subjects, and curious about the benefits of Rarity as a herd sister

>>26842924
>benefits of Rarity as a herd sister

Baby clothes.

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>>26842592
Yes. Now pucker up.

>>26843050
This makes me mad.

>>26843050
Do not rape pony. Pony is supposed to be the one who rapes you.

>>26843087
Agree

>>26843106
> Pony is supposed to be the one who rapes you.
Disagree

>>26843050
Edge

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>>26843087
>>26843106
>>26843128
Here, have this to compensate.

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>>26843157

>>26843157
>Twilight reads The Road
Honestly, I think the lack of format and syntax would disturb her as much as the narrative

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>>26842592

>>26843219
Man, someone has a tiny neck.

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>>26843219
Good girl~

>>26843219
That collar'd fit on my cock, but not my neck.

Holy shit, have you been dating Auschwitz reenactors or something?

>>26843238
It's not for your neck. Think lower.

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>>26843259
I can't get any lower than this.

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>>26843259

>>26843259
my arm/wrist?

>>26843272
>>26843319
>>26843324
I was meaning your tail, but those work...

>>26843338
My front tail?

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>>26842370
>She isn't gonna settle for some random colt, she wants a soulmate, of sorts.
Only one guy will do.

>>26842638
At least bathe them, Anon.

>>26843219
"Twilight, if you think that you can drag me around town then you've got another thing coming. You won't fool me again."

>>26842638
"Swear to god, Fluffy Hooves, my roommate is coming on to me. Like, get this: I told you he wears socks all the time, right?"
>"What?! No you didn't!"
"Oh yeah, ALL the time. Even when we're just hanging out, he walks around with SOCKS."
>"Oh wow. Sis. SIS. He wants the V."
"That's the thing! He does all this lewd shit around me, but he doesn't show any other interest!"
>"Just present yourself to him. If it was good enough for my mom, it's good enough for you."

>>26843567
>That spoiler
I see what you did there

>>26842114
Thats so adorable

>>26842176
I want this. Peaceful farm life green with AJ and Anon And Bloomy calling Anon her daddy

>>26843644
Greentext?

>>26842575
that is not how this works

this isnt how any of this works

>>26843948
If only.

>>26843644
>>"Just present yourself to him. If it was good enough for my mom, it's good enough for you."
kek
>anon just walking through the house to his room
>his roommate whips around the corner, almost slipping on the hardwood floors
>she stands in front of him, chest puffed up and giving him a determined glare while blushing
>as anon opens his mouth to ask what the hell she's doing she quickly turns around, lifts her tail and gives him a wink

>>26844105
>Anon 360 spins and moonwalks away from that shit and tries to forget what it is he had just seen

>>26844105
". . . That's great and all, but it's still your week to do the dishes. Oh, also, stop dicking around in my underwear drawer. I'm missing five socks, not five pairs, just five individual socks. I need my dress socks for this weekend, so figure that shit out."
>Your roomie, persistent little pone that she is, continues challenging you to a yoga competition or whatever the fuck she's doing
>Hopefully your date this weekend, that well built white unicorn mare that always manages to be in line for coffee at the same time as you, isn't this weird
>Fucking room mates

>>26844105
>No response from Anon
>Roommatewaifu slowly begins to panic
>Backs up until she walks into Anon crotch-first

>>26842995
>Anon has worked with Rara's parents since she was a filly
>He was always nicer than colts
>Tries to go out with colty stallions to fit in with the upper crust
>Never works out because she treats them like she would Anon
>Even expected Blueblood to hold the door open for her!
>The buried childhood crush never dies
Its why she is trying to ease Spike into the friend zone instead of flat turning him down.

>>26844105
>>26844174
>>26844186
>>26844202
what would you even do in this situation

pull her tail or something
poke her clit

>>26844261
Tell the bitch to do the dishes, and then get ready for your date.

>>26844105
>You are Anon
>Your roommate has FINALLY taken the hint
>You've been reading up on pone culture at Twilight's, and you've learned that certain clothing is considered "lewd" by pony standards
>You made damn-well sure to be wearing socks whenever you're around roommatewaifu and she's finally taken the hint.
>It only took a few months.
>Caramel was right; mares are clueless when it comes to romance.

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>>26843609
Not around town, she just needs to yank you forward and into her.

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>>26843644

>>26844531
>you wouldn't praise the Sun
Getaloadathisfaggot

>>26844531
>not cooling her heat
what the hell man

>>26844674
But estrus is the best time to enforce orgasm denial among your herd.

>>26844701
This Anons got the right idea.

>>26844701
That would be fun.

Especially giving them their release at the very end of it.

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>>26844750
You won't know when it's at the very end, though. Estrus doesn't follow a dated schedule, it's a biological process.

>>26838670
oh my fuck. Ok, well. Now I have to continue my stories.

>>26844822
Well, the only solution is to keep the whole herd orgasm free outside of the winter anestrus.
Imagine. 9 month straight stints of denial, instead of one week a month for 9 months of the year.

I'll let you break it to the other girls, Twilight.
And be sure to let them know you were the one who talked me into it.

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>>26844736
>>26844750
>denying your herd during their most trying time
>making them suffer through estrus like the days when they were alone
>making that hell worse by bringing them to the edge of relief over and over
>making your mares suffer for a kink
>denying yourself since it is semen that cools estrus
>denying both of you foals
You people fucking sicken me.

>>26844916
>denying both of you foals
The female orgasm is not required for conception.

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>>26844946
>>26844916
You can't impregnate her anyway.

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>>26844990
>>26844946
>>26844916
>implying she just wouldnt self abort a disgusting mutant

>>26844916
Makes it all the sweeter when she gets hit all at once with a full body wracking orgasm that nearly makes her pass out and leaves her feeling drained and drowsy for the rest of the day.

>>26845444
Is Celestia trying to get out of trouble?

>>26845444
>"I love you, tiny husband."

>>26845462
>TFW you will never have a tiny little husbando
>TFW you will never carry him around on your back everywhere you go

>>26845444
Anon in giantquestria when? Fuck the size difference thread, they arent rgre enough

>>26844946
Horses last around 20 seconds, so either you're both cumming or neither of you are.

You can't deny a Unicorn, she'll just pull you in until you finish.

Throbbing, pulsing your seed into her.

>>26844290
OI
Where's my O&O Pluggy?
You fucking promised mate.

>>26845696
Oh, right. Shit. Gimme an hour and you'll have your green.

>>26845773
All will soon be right with the world.

http://pastebin.com/z80vHLpM

>finally your shift ends and your replacement shows right in time
>Natural One is one of the few ponies in this establishment that you can actually tolerate
>poor girl is just terribly unlucky at life, you don't know if she got the name from being unlucky or she became unlucky because her parents gave her that name
>you'd feel out of place asking, you aren't really that close
>maybe you should offer her to hang out sometime, you really don't have that many friends here... there's Spike and... Pinkie Pie, but she's friends with everyone...
>god you are so lonely
>but that doesn't matter right now, you have an unicorn to talk to
>you knock on carousel's boutique door, you hear the clippity-clop of hooves against wood and the door opens, revealing Rarity in all glory, she greets you with a shining, white smile
>'Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is- oh,' she stops partway through her usual presentation. 'It's you, Ms. Ous.'
>when you first arrived to Equestria you actually got along with most of the ponies, in fact Rarity made you some clothes for free, the only ones you had apart from what you were wearing when you got here
>after it turned out you were stuck in here for the long haul, she started charging you
>can't fault her for that, obviously, everyone has to make a living and your clothes consume more materials than the ones she makes for ponies
>no, the fallout between you two came to pass when you started hanging out with Spike. Much like Twilight she didn't seem to approve of both your hobbies
>while it's not right to say you had a fight, your current relationship is nothing more than strictly professional
>'So, what can I do for you, Ms. Ous, I do remember you buying some clothes last month, do you need another set already?'
'Nothing of the sort, Rarity, I just wanted to talk to you'
>'Oh?' she looks at you quizzically but quickly composes herself 'Well then, do come in please.'
>she holds the door open to let you in

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Continued from: http://pastebin.com/PQpyiM9b
Last time: potatoes
This time: idk lol

----------------------------

>Be Moondancer, DM for the evening.
>You've just led your party through a perilous dungeon full of monsters, traps, and monsters pretending to be items.
>Heh.
>Best. Encounter. Ever.
>fatcomicbookmare.png
>There had been many tight scraped, but your adventure is nearly to an end.
"Alright, gals, here it is. You've entered a long hallway that leads to a throne room."
>You level a glare at each of them, and you're proud to say that they glared back at you with just as much ferocity.
"With walls of stone, the only remarkable feature you can see is a pool of water in the middle of the hallway."
>You place a blue rectangle onto the map, a few squares ahead of them.
"The waters are still and you can see nothing under the surface."
>Behind your screen, you do a couple of rolls; spot checks.
>They all fail.
>Twinkle: "Do I notice anything out of place?"
>You suppress a smirk and glance down at your dice again.
"No; nothing seems out of place. As far as you can tell, this is just an example of a poorly-maintained dungeon experiencing some flooding."
>Twinkleshine nods, but says nothing.
>The others, however, exchange suspicious looks.
>They know this is bullshit, but their CHARACTERS don't.
>They're walking into a trap and they know it.
>Anonymous sighs and reaches out for his character figurine, moving it towards the pool of water.
>Anon: "I guess we move forward, then. How deep is the pool?"
"Four feet."
>Lemon Hearts winces.
>Lemon: "Welp."
>Twinkle: "Do we swim? It doesn't look like we have much choice here."
>Minuette gives that damn smirk of hers and crosses her forelegs.
>Minuette: "Maybe YOU scrubs have to swim; Grimfeathers is a griffin, you shitladies."
>Minuette looks over to you while using her magic to move her figurine over across the water.
>Minuette: "I fly across the water."

>>26846256
>you step in
>it never ceases to amaze you how these tiny horses can live in such comfortable places
>you wouldn't expect something like this from humans, heck, if this place was yours it'd be littered with empty soda bottles
>but you are here for a reason, so there's no time to waste
>the unicorn leads you to the room she uses to deal with customers, there a couple of couches, magazines, a couple of glasses of water
>she takes a seat and motions for you to do the same, you do, it's very comfy
>'So, Ms. Ous, what brings you here then?'
'It's about Spike, Rarity'
>she visibly cringes 'Oh, I see, I suppose he told you about what happened today'
'Yes, he did Rarity, he was devastated, so now you are going to tell me exactly the why and how you decided to break my friend's heart'
>her gaze hardens 'I don't believe I owe -you- any explanations, Ms. Ous'
'You damn well do, Rarity, Spike is my friend and he is suffering because of this. I want to help him, I really do, but I can't do it if I don't hear your side of the story as well,' hopefully some diplomacy will help convince her
>Rarity seems to ponder this
>'Fine, then,' she clears her throat. 'Spike came around earlier today and asked me out on a date. Of course I had to reject him, poor dear, you understand don't you?'
'Just assume I don't and elaborate'
>'Well, you can't really expect a mare like me to be seen with someone like... well, him... Spike is a dear, Celestia bless his heart, but I aim to move in the highest social circles of Canterlot, you see, it wouldn't do to date a dragon and one that is liable to start -talking- about games and comics when in good company. Oh no, I need a proper stallion that knows how to keep quiet and look pretty, I'm sure you'll agree, hm?'
>you don't, in fact you are rather seething with rage now
>'Besides,' and here she blushes a little. 'I'd like to be a mother some day, have just the cutest little filly, and maybe a colt too so her sister could take care of him!'

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>>26846382
>The group collectively holds its breath as Grimfeathers spreads her wings and soars across the pool of water.
>For a long moment, nopony says anything.
"You make it across. You are now at the other side of the pool."
>Minuette doesn't even look surprised.
>Twinkle: "Okay, then!"
>Twinkleshine looks relieved; the fool.
>The FOOL.
>Twinkle: "I swim across."
>She, too, magicks her figurine across the water.
>Lemon: "Uhm, gals? This might be a problem, but Crystal Rose can't swim. I took that penalty so that I could vomit material components, remember?"
"I guess you'll just have to get creative."
>Anon: "Hey."
>You look over to see Anonymous chewing on a finger, deep in thought.
>Anon: "Can I throw Crystal Rose far enough?"
>A quick strength and dexterity roll confirms that he cannot, in fact, throw Lemon Hearts's character across.
>Anon: "Well, then, I guess I'll just have to carry Rosy across. I'm tall enough to wade through the water."
>Lemon Hearts is looking a bit flustered all of the sudden.
>Lemon: "C-carry me? Like, on y-your back?"
>Anon: "Yup, just like this."
>Lemon: "Just li-Wooohh!"
>Lemon Hearts scoots back as Anonymous gets to his feet and approaches her, reaching out to grab her.
>Anon: "Stay still! Lemme pick you up, Lemon Hearts!"
>Lemon Hearts falls onto the ground and pushes herself away from the colt, her panicked face flushed.
>Lemon: "Wh-No! What're you eve- stop that!"
>She bats a hoof at Anon, striking his hand.
>Lemon: "You STOP that!"
>Anon: "Just get up on my - there!"
>Anonymous stands tall, hands on his hips, looking proud and pleased as bucking punch.

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>>26846398
Sorry bud, I'll be done in just a sec.

>>26846412
>Sitting atop his head is none other than Lemon Hearts, who's holding on for dear life.
>Guess she isn't used to being so high up.

---------------------------------------

>You are Anon.
>Ponies make the comfiest hats.
>You know this for a fact.
>Guess you should put the tiny pony down, though.

---------------------------------------

>You are once more Moondancer, and it's time to get serious again, you guys.
>Come on, stop fooling around, okay?"
"Cuntkicker (-snk!-) and Crystal Rose decide to ford the river."
>You roll a quick die and smile.
>This does not go unnoticed by your pony friends.
"Crystal? From such a high vantage point, you have a much clearer view of the area around you. You find it strange that there's no algae or plant-life growing above or around the stagnant pool of water"
>Another die roll; success.
"The smell of oil registers. Cuntkicker, you notice a slick liquid sitting on top of the water, reflecting in the distant torchlight."
>Anon: "Oh, no..."
>Oh, yes.
>Your horn glows momentarily, and the blue rectangle on your map turns orange.
"There's a bright spark, and the surface of the pool is aflame. Crystal takes two damage for being up so high, and Cuntkicker takes four for being right at the source of the fire."
>Anonymous has his head in his hands, and Lemon Hearts is nibbling her horsechips nervously.
>That's right, little ponies.
>And Anonymous.
>Cower.
>Cower and beg for mercy.
>Anonymous peeks out at you through his fingers and you've never really noticed what a beautiful colour his eyes are oh my goodness

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>>26846438
>Oh, you could wake up looking at those eyes.
>....how long do you have to date a colt before you can share a bed together?
>Oh Luna, your bed is a MESS.
>There's old food wrappers and bags of hay-chips just EVERYWHERE.
>UGH!
>You want human cuddles, but you don't want to do the cuddling in your house!
>You can't just invite yourself to a colt's house to cuddle; can you?
>That's jus-
>Anon: "Moondancer?"
"Hmm? What?"
>Oh right, the game.
>Whoops.
>Uhm...
"S-sorry, Anonymous. What did you, you know, just say? Again?"
>Oh, so you're going with your charms to win this stallion over, eh Moonie?
>Anonymous smiles, not giving any indication that he caught you staring longingly into his eyes for the last minute or so.
>Anon: "I asked if I was close enough to throw Crystal Rose across the rest of the way."
>Oh.
>Yeah, you guess you can give them this.
>You DID just sort of immolate them.
>You don't even bother rolling.
"Cuntkicker, you're filled with adrenaline. You can now overcome the distance between you and the distant shore."
>Anon: "I grab Crystal Rose around the middle and throw her as hard as I can."
>You once more magic a figurine over to the other side of the pool.
"Crystal Rose soars through the air like a majestic bird. Her landing puts out the flames that were just moments ago engulfing her."
>Minuette: "W-wait, where does that leave Anon's character?"
>A quick burst of magic makes the Cuntkicker figurine glow.
"Still in the fire."

That's all I got for now. Tomorrow you'll get the the last encounter and then the ending. Hope you guys enjoyed reading this.

BTW the pastebin will be updated too.

>>26846398
>'And Spike, darling though he is, couldn't do that for me, we are different species after all'
>wow, Rarity is even shallower than you thought
>a part of you is glad she rejected Spike because he would have been miserable
>probably the kind of bitch that goes and throws someone's minis away because 'you are too old for action figures'
>FUCK YOU MOM, I BOUGHT THOSE WITH MY OWN MONEY
>'I'm sure he'll make some mare very happy one day, if he ditches those silly comic books and those toys, why, I hear some of the... gentlemares at your... place of work are interested in him'
>oh no, it's worse than you thought
>you stand up
'Rarity, I'm going to be honest with you'
>'I... all right?'
'You are fucking retarded.'
>she clearly didn't expect you to act like this because she stutters in complete surprise before shooting up from her seat and getting in your face: 'Why, I never, to have the gall to come into my house and talk to me like that!'
>you ignore her whining and push her back by booping her on the nose, hard.
'If you really can't see why Spike is such a fucking catch, comics or no comics, games or no games, then you are truly and irrevocably stupid. He's polite, he's nice, he cooks, he cleans, he washes, he can have a smart conversation, he's honest, he's literally everything women ever looked for in a man and you say no just because he has a fucking personality and looks different from you?'
>'Well, if he's that great then why don't -you- date him, I don't see you running after him good catch or not, so don't you dare judge me!'
'You know what you dumb horse, I just might!'
>oh wow, where did that come from
>you turn to leave and reach for the door
>'Yeah, you better run you... you double monkey!'
'Rarity, I'm going to let that slide THIS time. And for your information, dragons can breed with -anything-, you'd know this if you ever played O&O'
>'I- yo-'
>you cut her off by stepping outside and slamming the door closed.

>>26846733
Blown. The. Fuck. Out.
This better end with Rarity in tears.

>>26846733
>>'And Spike, darling though he is, couldn't do that for me, we are different species after all'
>>wow, Rarity is even shallower than you thought
Can't fault her for wanting someone that can give her foals.

>>26846459
but i need more

by desire for green is an endless black hole

>>26846884
Dragons can fuck anything though.

>>26846733
BAM

>>26846939
I know, Anon. Mine is too.

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What if alicorn herd.

>>26847281
>Twilight
>Celestia
>Luna
>Flurry Heart
>takes place 20 years after the first episode in season 6

>>26846977
Maybe she doesn't want a freak baby.

Also is Spike aged up or something, because a pedophilia charge is a damn good reason to turn him down.

>>26847395
probably of age, just not huge yet.

>>26847402
He could be, for you~

>>26847422
unless your the shallow marshmallow I doubt it.

>>26847442
Then his dragondick will be massive for femanon. They'll have loud sex when rarity is nearby and she'll be reminded of what she cant have

>>26847459
exactly, though to be fair, even if she did go out with him she wouldn't be able to fit him eventually.

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>>26847459

So what's the policy about lewdness in green threads?

I'm just asking for a friend and totally not for this green.

Yep.

>>26847495
it is a good thing.

>>26847554
icanfeelthelewdovertakingme.webm

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"How did you even get syrup on your underside?"

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>>26847849
2BIG

>>26847369
maximum wincest herd,

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>>26847972
Luna must be tired of all of those stallions dreaming about her sister's bigger, more powerful butt.

>>26846733
...I'm not buying it. Can't imagine a woman doing what Anny just did.
Also, this >>26846884. I'm curious on what you're going to write next, as Rarity is pretty much in the right here, and she didn't like Spike and her hanging around. Oh, my.

>>26846851
You're a nice anon.

>>26846459
DIVE DIVE DIVE
Also Anon should literally throw Lemon hearts somewhere, like on a couch, just to show these poor mares that he can handle them in whatever way he wants

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>>26846733
>double monkey
picrelated

>dragons can breed with -anything-, you'd know this if you ever played O&O
Silly Anny, your dragondildos aren't real!

>>26847495
After the scruffening, we were told that we could post lewd words, but no lewd pictures. But I dunno if that's still the case anymore.

>>26847494
The magic of true love and sex based spiting.(not to be confused with spitting) Also regular magic that makes her body super stretchy or things like that.

What if the gender roles aren't really reversed, and this is all just some masterful ruse being pulled on Anon? Like, the gender ratio disparity still exists, meaning most mares have to either join a herd or settle for a same sex relationship, but whatever mare finds Anon exploits his ignorance of equestria to keep a male all for herself. Or alternately, an otherwise second-tier, beta mare uses it as an opportunity to form her own herd of also-rans with an exotic and attentive male.

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>>26849037
>What if Anon is retarded
You can't keep this under wraps unless you literally hold Anon in your rape dungeon and never allow him to leave your house.

>>26849089
>hold Anon in your rape dungeon and never allow him to leave your house.
U..unf.

>>26849099
This is actually viable if you set the story in Saddle Aravia.

>Solar Guard marches into Saddle Aravia because Caelestis Vult
>Anon is rescued from a life of sex slavery
>Finally, freedom! I will do whatever!
>Silly Anon, we didn't free you so that you could do whatever. You're just a colt after all.
>Oh, well, at least no more beatings.

>>26849127
>the richest, most influential mares have harems of males numbering in the hundreds
>colts are not allowed to travel without an escort.
>celestia disapproves but can't do anything Saddle Arabia is a strong ally and affluent trading partner

>>26849237
>CaughtInABoxerBlitz.tale

MGTOW Anon in RGRE when

>>26849348
Do you want an actual going his own way Anon, or do you want to laught at redpills?

Because LaP's Angry Nord Anon qualifies. And will not be finished I guess.

>>26849237
>"...I made them! Ponies have to know that I made them, so I'm putting my scent onto them!"

>>26849454
both

but i want nord anon more

you think we can make individual one shots for nord anon? i got nothing for now

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>>26849465
Actually I could kinda (in RGRE) see both Rarity and Luna marking Anon as a part of their herd. The tradition's really outdated but they do it regardless.

>>26849487
>Luna and Rarity always rub up against him like cats whenever he goes to visit them
>He just thinks they're being friendly

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>>26849532
Aww that sounds so cute.

>>26849476
>Anon goes innaquestria
>Doesn't marry or start herd even though everyone tell him to.
>Sometimes he drinks himself unconscious because he misses a lover's touch.
Here, now you can have both!

Seriously though, I love greens/fics without any romance involved. Probably because I'm single. all these couples, how dare they!

>>26849532
I feel like I'd freak out at that. I mean, the closest thing we as humans experience is a large dog doing this, and in dog language (assuming no aggression or fear) this is basically "master, I love you very much". That's not what you'd expect from an acquaintance.

Or, if you have already accepted that the small horses are basically just people, with their small horse jobs and stuff, and then OH GOD WHY is this woman on all fours and rubbing her chest against my legs??

>>26849590
>that pic
>"How do you do, fellow humans?"

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>>26848626
That's a hentai level concept.

>>26849190
>Luna returns to Equestria
>Learns of the state of affairs.
>Plans to fix the situation using the best methods she knows:
>Send black ops teams there to foster unrest and undermine the Sultanas

guys i actually found something interesting about the stallion scarcity thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNUThlfQ2NE

though its MGTOW it made me think about how equestrian social structures are actually made up and how it applies to the tiny horses

>>26849887
>though its MGTOW it made me think about how equestrian social structures are actually made up and how it applies to the tiny horses

So the natural patriarchy arising from male scarcity hinges on the males being significantly stronger than the females and the overall aggressive nature of the species, and horses kinda lose on both counts.

>>26838200
>French fag here.
>I never heard of that word "sororité".
I checked it out and find that it means "sisterhood" in very old french, but now it's used by feminists for the idea of women solidarity. Still an uncommon word though.

thanks OP for giving me mindfuck in my own language.

>>26849590
HUMAN, I BET YOU CAN'T GUESS WHAT'S UNDERNEATH THIS HAT

>>26850129
then raise the white flag

>>26850179
What?

>>26848683

Valid criticism.

And next Annie goes for a drink while Spike hangs out in the Palace.

>>26850188
i give up

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>>26850179
>That joke again
Tiens, ton drapeau blanc fils de pute

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>>26850129
>I've invaded his house and made half of it mine. Soon he will surrender to my love

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>>26850208
i said i give up
now where's my perfume and wine?

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>>26850179
>>26850198
>>26850208
>>26850209
>>26850233
Smells like /pol/ in here

>>26850269
Wish they'd go away.

>>26850115
its already shown that males in the show are significantly stronger the females

we've mentioned how the nightmare war killed most of the males(this was like ten/twenty threads ago) but the sexes never evened out, no one explored the reasons for that

>>26850287
>>26850269
i give up on /mlp/

>>26850209
>le cuck horse
How does it feel being literal shit, sis?

>>26850129
>thanks OP for giving me mindfuck in my own language.
You're welcome, Frenchie.

>>26850337
>we've mentioned how the nightmare war killed most of the males(this was like ten/twenty threads ago) but the sexes never evened out, no one explored the reasons for that
>no one explored the reasons for that
Yes, because a even natural imbalance founded in some magical bullshit or harmony makes sense than genders never evening out when they were even once.

I guess you could make some excuse like a curse, or a magical disease bioweapon.... But that's... fucky.

>>26850337

Maybe NMM cursed the land as Celestia was banishing her?

So Luna has to deal with the fact that it's literally her fault modern stallions are mostly wimps.

>>26840806
i forget, does she know that her mom wanted her aborted?
i would say apposed to the "daddy issues" that women have, it would go more toward mommy, while daddy may despise the thought of her daughter under every single black guy she can find trying to figure out who in the city has the biggest cock to get back at him for whatever wrongs he did... she may instead decide to do the opposite and not fuck up, partially as a point that "daddy was to good for you/we don't need you/i'm better then you in every way" kind of deal.

>>26850366
>>26850431
>luna notices there are incredibly less stallions than there were before the nightmare ware
>not only that they're very wimpy
>asks celestia what happened
>celestia explains a curse casted by nightmare that tried to prevent stallions from being born at all from pregnancies
>it only managed to get 3 quarters of the population
>celestia has been trying to despell the curse for centuries
>but the spell was to strong
>luna has taken it upon herself to fix a thousand year old mistake

>>26850485
She fixes it by making uncursed foals with the only uncursed male, Anon. She'd have Celestia help, but someone needs to rule.

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>>26850537
this thread is foal crazy
im okay with this

>>26850543
So am I.

>>26850537
>>26850543

Venus's response?

>"Look, Dad. I'm happy for you and Luna, I really am! But I can't deal with all these siblings! You're on foal number 14 for Aunt Celestia's sake!"

>>26850582
"Uh, you're going to be a big sister soon! Again!"
>"I'm leaving."

>>26850129
>French fag here too.
It's not "old" french, analphabète, it's just the female version of "fraternité".
You need to read more fantasy books, those one tend to have convent / group of witches / amazons - plenty of situation where you will see "sororité" being used.

>>26850208
Best flag.

>>26850602

Actually, would Venus be affected by the curse? She's the child of an uncursed male and a cursed male.

>>26850617
>child of an uncursed male and a cursed male.
Whaat?

>>26850624

FUCK. I meant cursed female.

>>26850582
She'll be glad she has so many siblings when she's three hundred years old.

>>26850686

Point.

>Once a year, Venus and her siblings would all gather at their father's grave to pay their respects.
>Luna is there as well, as is Celestia.
>It's a tradition usually spent in quiet remembrance
>Cadence secretly watches from afar, regretting that she never tried to reconcile with Anon.

>>26848741
>>26847495
get a pastebin and go to town, the wrost that weill happen is a 3-4 day ban and you can post in the bin so we know what happened.

pretty sure words can be as lewd as you want just no horse pussy ass cock or cum.

>>26850725
That's gotta be one hell of a sight to normal ponies.
Dozens upon dozens of alicorns walking in procession to the grave site of the monkey being.

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>>26850543
We all just want families of our own, the time to spend with them to watch them grow, and a warm mare to drive off the cold nights.

>>26850762

They'd probably understand. Before Anon came along the Royal Family was incredibly small.

Celestia, Luna, Cadence. That was it.

Now they've expanded to having grandkids, cousins, uncles, aunts. There's also Twilight, Flurry Heart, and any other kids Cadence may have had with Shining.

For one male to expand it that much must be legendary.

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>>26850607
Tous les mots compliqués/peu utilisés sont présents dans les œuvres littéraires classiques. J'comprends rien à ce genre de bouquins.

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>>26850783
Absolutely adorable.

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>>26850791
Truly this man must have had a wonderfully fulfilling life.

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>tfw no graceful qt alicorn mare to start a family with

>>26850871
Who's the turbo mom?

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>Be Rumble
>Today was finally going to be the day!
>After all of those months of your big brother and your dad poking fun at your LITTLE belly you had finally decided to get a gym membership!
>You were sick of the teasing
>You were sick of getting hit on by the... odder mares in your class
>But most of all you were sick and tired of not being able to fit in your favorite vest!
>So it was time to buckle down
>No more sweets for you!
>No more laying around doing nothing!
>Summer was coming and you wanted to look good for the beach!
>No!
>You wanted to look GREAT!
>Super great!
>...That being said you were thirteen years old
>Though you could argue about the cutest filly in your favorite girlband with the best of them and you had an eye for fashion that was far and away better than most colts on your class (especially that WHORE Button Mash) you didn't know all that much about the gym
>You didn't know even a little bit about the gym to be honest
>And you didn't want to spend all this time in the gym and not get the body that you wanted because you didn't know what to do
>So you had decided to ask somepony that went to the gym a lot if they could help you get your summer bod
>Since you didn't know a lot of other stallions that went to the gym that actually knew what they were talking about (your fat flanked brother included) you were forced to ask the local apelien Anonymous
>The big, weird, green giant that always seemed to be on the wrong side of intense
>But even if he was a little... weird you knew that he was a real sweetheart, so it was of little surprise that he had been more than happy to help you out when you had asked him
>So there you were
>Standing in front of Ironball's Gym
>A duffle bag slung over your shoulder and the hope that you'd get rid of your little gut in your heart
>Alright Rumble
>You might have been going into a place where a bunch of smelly, loud, muscle-y mares were banging weights but this was for the beach bod

>>26850978
oh shit
out of fucking nowhere

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>>26850856
We need more cute family fics.

>>26850978
>THE. BEACH. BOD
>And you were sure that Anon would keep any weirdos from gawking at you while you were getting your work out in
>So here we go!
>Taking a deep breath you opened the door and stepped inside
>The lobby was... plain
>You could see a couple of gaudy shirts in the corner that they were probably trying to sell and there was a counter where a cute mare was sitting behind
>And leaning over the counter and talking to the mare, with a muscle shirt on and a headband wrapped around his head and a pair of long gym pants, was Anonymous
>The anxiety that you had been feeling dissipated just a little when you saw him
>Your teacher was right there waiting for you
>Which meant that he was taking your drive to get fitter seriously
>Good
>A small smile came to your face as you walked over to him
>"I'm telling you, if Star Dust keeps diddylifting like that she's gonna fuck herself up."
>"Hey, I already told her that her form was bucked up. If she hurts herself it's going to be her own stupid fault."
>"Yeah, but you know that if she fucks herself up she's going to come here everyday and just sit on a bench and bit--"
>When you got a few feet away from him, Anonymous's head snapped toward you
>"Oh, there you are, Rumble," he said, looking you over. "I was wondering when you were going to get here."
"Sorry about being a little late," you said, smiling sheepishly. "I was--omph!"
>You reeled back a bit as your teacher threw a bundle of clothing in your face
>"Go and put that on," he commanded, shooing you away with hand. "If you're going to be my brotege then there's no way in hell you're walking into the church like that."
>Church?
>Brotege?
>What the hay was he talking about?
>You looked down at the clothes, concern once again welling up inside you
>...
>Alright...
>Anon knew what he was talking about...
>So if he wanted you to put these clothes on it was probably for a good reason
>...Right?...

>>26850978
>So you had decided to ask somepony that went to the gym a lot if they could help you get your summer bod
>...you were forced to ask the local apelien Anonymous
>Asking Anon how to get a summer bod
He's going to get his shit kicked in.
He's probably wearing horse sandals.

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>>26850999
We do. We really do.

>>26851013
>Picking up the clothes, you made your way toward the restroom
>A quick change later you found yourself a VERY unhappy stallion
>Almost as unhappy as when Scootaloo spilled chocolate milk on your new designer saddle bag that you got for your birthday
>You were wearing a muscle shirt that was two sizes too small
>You had a pair of black gym pants that were WAY too big
>And you had a headband on your head
>A headband that said "Brotege"
>...
>You looked awful
>Like REALLY awful
>But despite ALLLLL of that you still walked back out into the lobby where Anon was waiting
>And that cute mare
>Who was going to see you dressed like... this
>...
>...Anon better make you look GREAT or so help you...
"There," you muttered, a blush on your face. "I'm all dressed up..."
>"There, that's much better!" Anon said, slapping you a little too hard on the back. "Now that you're dressed up we can get to work."
>Sighing, you reached into your duffel bag and pulled out your gym membership key card
>You were about to hoof it to the mare when Anon stopped you
>"And what do you think you're going, little man?" he asked
>You looked at him, then at the key card
"...I was signing in?" you slowly said
>Anon made a face, snatching the key card out of your hoof and putting it back into your duffel bag
>"No you aren't," he said, sounding more serious than you had ever heard him. "That's how the peasants walk into the gym."
>Squatting down, Anon placed his hands on your shoulders
>"Luckily for you I'm here to show you how to do it the RIGHT way."
>Give you a wink and a shoulder squeeze Anon stood up, turning to face the smiling mare behind the counter
>"Alright, Cream Puff, go ahead and ask me for my card."
>"You know that Clean and Jerk doesn't like it when you--"
>"Just ask me for my card."
>Sighing as she rolled her eyes, the mare extended a hoof
>"Sir, may I please have your card?" she asked, rolling her eyes again
>Anon snapped his fing--
Boom!
>WHATTHEBUCKWASTHAT?!

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>>26850966
Screwloose

>>26851042
>Where did that bang sound come from?!
>Was something happ--
>"Don't tell me what to do," Anon cheerfully replied as you frantically looked for what made that banging sound. "Alright, your turn, Rumble."
>How the buck did he do that?!
>Did that even come from Anon?
>He's not holding any--
>"Rumble!"
>You jumped, your eyes darting back toward Anon, who was looking at you impatiently
>"Get your furry butt over here and do what I just did."
"Anon, did you do that banging sound? Or was it--"
>"Rumble, get your butt over here. We got lifting to do."
"But!--"
>Anon just lifted an eyebrow and nudged his head toward the mare standing behind the counter
>Just like him she was staring at you expectantly, like hearing random explosion noises was an everyday thing for her
>"Come on over here, cutie, I won't bite," she said, all smiles
>...
>An older mare called you cute?!
>An older mare that was a looker herself
>Hah!
>The fellas were going to be SO jealous when you told them about this at Pip Squeak's sleepover this weekend!
>Though you were still a little freaked out you eagerly made your way over toward the mare...
>Only to realize that you had no idea what you had to say to her...
>Anon had just snapped his fingers and then there was that bang and you started to freak out...
>Did he even say anything after that?
>...And how were you going to snap your hooves?
>You had nothing on them that could be snapped...
>Anon loudly cleared his throat, signaling that it probably would be a good idea to hurry this along

>>26850966
ponko

>>26851073
>...Buck it
>This wouldn't be the first time you've had to fake it until you make it!
"Um... I want to get in the gym without giving you my key card?" you said hesitantly, looking up at Anon as you did so
>Your teachers nose scrunched up and he shook his head
>"Nononono, you gotta be AGGRESSIVE, Rumble. This is your first step into the jungle; you gotta come in with a roar to tell the other animals that the big cat's here."
>...What?
>Shaking your head you puffed your chest out and stared at the mare behind the counter
"I'm GOING inside of that gym without giving you my key card."
>You deflate slightly
"...If that's alright."
>"...We'll work on it," Anon said, giving you a pat on the back. "Now come on, we got a long day ahead of us."
>As Anon disappeared into the gym proper you stayed behind for a moment
>Looking back at the mare behind the counter you could still see her smiling
>"I'm rooting for you, bucko," she said with a wink. "Go in there and give them Tartarus."
>You giggled shyly, wondering how your parents would feel if you brought home and older mare, before practically skipping into the gym
>Oh you were SO going to tell the fellas about this!
>And you were going to enjoy every SECOND of rubbing it in Button's smug face!
>The gym looked pretty much like you thought it would
>At one end were a bunch of machines, treadmills, and places where you could put down mats and ab balls
>That's where a bunch of stallions were, many of them chatting and looking like they were having a pretty good time
>At the other end of the gym was where all of the mare's gym equipment was
>Those rack thingy's
>Bench pressing places
>Those weird cage things with the bar that you could do wing ups in
>All of that stuff was on that side of the gym
>This was where most of the mares, many of them grunting and sweating and being kind of gross, were
>In the middle were the free weights, where all of the barbells and stuff like that was

>>26851073
LaP, /fit/ Anon truly is when you do your best work

>>26851088
>This was where both mare and stallion converged
>...Ew
>Why was that stallion over there dressed like that?
>He looked like a real slut with his tail tied up like that!
>He really--
>"Alright, Rumble," Anon said, snapping you out of your silent judging. "Now that we're here I want you to look around and tell me what you see."
>You frowned
"There's a bunch of equipment and ponies walking around," you automatically say
>Anonymous looked down at you for a long while, this... odd glint in his eyes
>If you didn't know any better you'd say that he was looking at you in pity
>"No, little man, that's not all there is in this room."
>Crouching down to placed a hand on your shoulder
>"This isn't a place where people come to work out. All of this stuff isn't "equipment" and these just aren't "ponies"."
>He quickly stood back up and flexed it--
Bang!
>Thereitwasagain!
>This time you KNEW you weren't just hearing things!
>Wherethebuckdidthatcomefrom?!
>"This is a battlefield, little man," Anon said, flexing in a different--
Bang!
>OhsweetCelestia!!!
>"And you're the tank."
>Your eyes twitched as he flexed again and--
Bang
>...Another bang/explosion sound filled the air
>"Your main job while you're on this battlefield is to assert your dominance! You're here to be the biggest, loudest tank you can be!"
Bang!
>"And you want make sure you leave here bigger than you were before!
Bang!
>"YOU WANT TO BE A FUCKING MEAT TANK!!!"
Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!

>>26851113
Is fitAnon Johnny Bravo?

>>26851113
>You could feel half of the ponies in the gym turn to watch this... spectacle
>Your mouth opened so that you could say something, you didn't know what, but Anon reached down, slapped a hand on either of your cheeks and picked you up
>...It didn't feel too good
>It stung...
>"SO WE'RE GOING TO LIFT HEAVY ASS WEIGHT!"
>There was a fire in Anon's eyes as he looked back at you
>An excitement that he was about to bring you into this world of his
>...Something which you didn't really want
>You didn't come here to get "big"
>You didn't come here to "lift heavy ass weight"
>You were here to lose a couple of pounds
>And that was it
>You wanted to tell Anon this but the look that he was giving you...
>"ARE YOU READY, RUMBLE?!" Anon asked/screamed
>You blinked, your ears ringing and your cheeks stinging
"...Ish ready!" you found yourself saying
>Grinning hugely, Anon put you down
>"Alright then! Lets--"
>He looked past you
>"Hang on a minute. Hey Flutter! That ass is looking fat today!"
>You flinched, a blush coming to your face as the group of stallions near the treadmills muttered amongest themselves
>Whoo boy...
>You had a feeling that this--
Bang!
>...
>The next half an hour or so you followed Anonymous all around the gym as he showed you every machine and what it did
>Though he was huge and loud and prone to hit on mares across the room with absolutely NO SHAME Anon seemed to know what he was talking about
>He showed you how the machines, from the treadmills to the pull-up bars, worked, what they did and what you could do with them with a simplistic kind of language that even somepony like you could understand
>After he had finished up his little walk-through of the gym you had been ready to hit the machines

>>26849006
She is a marshmallow.

>>26850485
i like this,
everyone else thinks anon is gay or something, Luna and celestia are the only ones who know this is how males are suppose to be.
mix in some males are resistant to the personality portion, or resistant to the strength portion and there you go.

you could even explain gay as just being attracted to feminine traits... (lets be honest, outside of roid rage and named in the show stallions, they are all ascetically feminine enough)

>>26851144
>...Only for Anon to cheerfully tell you that the two of you weren't going to be using the machines
>And not only were you not going to use the machines you weren't going to use them for a long, long while
>You were a green horn, Anon had explained, and being such that meant that you needed to be taught the basics
>Basics being the squat, the bench press, and the dead-lift, three exercises that Anon had insisted were difficult to do correctly
>Though you were skeptical as you said before you knew not a thing about the gym
>For all you knew if a pony wanted muscles they just did push-ups and ran a lot
>So you were going to take Anon's word for it
>...Even if you just wanted to go trot on the treadmill
>Today, since it was the day that Anon usually did this exercise, you were learning how to dead-lift
>Or as he called it, "diddylift"
>To you it just looked like you had to pick something up before setting it back down
>It felt like that too, even though Anon was there ever five seconds adjusting your stance or making you tighten your back or whatever else he was talking about
>But then you got to watch Anon do it
>For about an hour you were standing there, doing some exercises that Anon told you to do but pretty much just standing there, watching Anon dead-lift
>One hundred and thirty, two hundred and twenty five, three hundred and fifteen, Anon just kept upping the weight and upping the weight and upping the weight
>All the while making it look easy!
>As you watched him, slowly starting to ignore the glares and looks of envy cast in your direction, you started to see a pattern
>There was a certain way that he had his feet, his grip was in a certain spot, he had his body tensed a certain way before he started his lift
>For some reason you found it oddly... lovely in a certain way
>Not lovely like a new vest or lovely like a new mane cut...
>But... lovely
>Masterful even

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>>26850871

>tfw you will never have dozens of demigod children with Luna

It hurts.

>>26851168
>More and more and more weight was piled on, and you could see Anon having to actually strain each time to picked up the weight
>His body, from his toes to his face, grew bright red and you could see veins bulging on his arms and his forehead
>"ARE YOU SEEING THIS SHIT, RUMBLE?" Anon had asked you in the middle of a set, chalk dust covering his pants and arms. "JESUS CHRIST! HOW CAN I STILL FIT IN THIS BUILDING?!"
>Four hundred and five, five hundred, five hundred and ninety, up and up and up
>Many stallions were now muttering angrily near the dumbbells, not too far from where you and Anon were
>You didn't need to think hard about what they where talking about
>"Hey, Big Mac, hey Big Mac. Hey Maccy!"
>Big Macintosh tried to ignore Anon, focusing on the five pound weights he had in either hoof
>"Big Mac, Big Mac, Big Mac! Big red, Macineno, Macattack."
>With an angry snort, Big Mac turned toward Anon just as the human was loudly setting the bar, which was nearly filled on both sides, down with a thunderous clang
>"What?! What an' the hay do ya want, Anon?!" Mac demanded
>With a grunt, Anon slowly lifted the bar up again
>You could visibly see the bar bending as he reached the apex of the lift
>"Big Mac," Anon said, his face red and his voice straining. "Call your mom. Tell her I'm doing it. Tell her I'm doing it all."
>You could see anger in Big Mac's eyes as he narrowed them
>"My ma's dead, Anon," he growled
>Setting the bar down Anon quickly ripped the bar back up
>"Well then call me a meatium, 'cause this pump's bringing back the fucking dead. HAAAAAAAAP! HAAAAAAAAP! HAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPP!"
>You couldn't help but giggle as you picked up your weights and started on another set of curls
>That was awful...
>"That's it. I'm getting the manager," one of the stallions said, turning away and making his way toward the lobby

>>26851212
>Anon paid the threat no mind, giving you a wink as he started to stack more weight onto the bar until no more weight could be put on it
>You had to stop your set just so that you could count them
>There were nine forty-five plates on each side
>If you counted the bar that Anon was about to pull eight hundred and fifty-five
>More weight than you had ever seen a stallion pick up
>It was more weight than you have ever seen ANYPONY pick up; mare, stallion, you name it
>The entire gym was silent as Anon got ready for his set
>He slowly, methodically put more chalk on his hands
>He walked around the bar, eyeing the weight like somepony would their next meal
>You could just hear him muttering nonsense to himself as he stepped up to the bar
>He started taking deep breaths as he wrapped his hands around the bar
>Setting his feet he puffed his chest up and straightened his back, his knuckles white against the bar
>With a grunt he wildly pulled against the weights, making the bar shake
>He did it again, his breathing getting faster and faster
>"Come on, come on, comeoncomeoncomeonCOMEONCOMEONCOMEONNNNNN!"
>With a roar that made you take a step back Anon slowly started to lift
>Almost instantly his whole body turned a deep shade of red and the form that had been so perfect until now diminished slightly
>But, slowly, inch by miraculous inch, he brought that mountain of weight past his ankles and up toward his knees
>You could see his body started to shake as the bar slid up his thighs but even still he didn't stop
>You heart was racing
>You wanted Anon to pick up that impossible weight
>You wanted to scream, to shout out encouragement to him, but you knew not to
>This was the first time that you had entered a gym
>But you could feel a certain... something as you watched this green giant stallion struggle with the weight and gravity
>It was a primal feeling, an honest feeling, and, oddly enough, it felt welcomed

>>26851231
>In front of you wasn't a stallion that cared whether he got hit on by cute, older mares or even got hit on at all
>He didn't care what other ponies thought of him
>He didn't even care how other ponies treated him
>All he wanted to do was pick up heavy weight for the sake of picking up heavy weight
>To become stronger than he had been the day before
>And he brought you here so that you could feel just the same as he felt every single day...
>With another shout, Anon locked his lift out, standing tall for all to see
>Holding the bending bar in the air for a few moments, looking around the room with a mad grin, he dropped the weight before flexing
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
>Out of the corner of your eye you could see a middle-aged, overweight mare making her way toward the two of you with a frown on her face
>"AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
>For seemingly no reason Anon grabbed the collar of his shirt and tore the thing off before tossing it to the ground and throwing his arms up into the air
>Seeing a giant, vein-y, screaming stallion the mare stopped, blinking owlishly, before she moon-walked back into her office
>"DID YOU SEE THAT SHIT, RUMBLE?! WHOO! DADDY'S GETTING HUGE TODAY!"
>Turning away from Anon you looked in the mirror in front of you
>Though your muscles were nothing to speak of you could see them standing out on your frame slightly
>It was your first pump
>A look a what you could be...
>...
>...
>...
>You lifted your arms over your head and struck--
Bang!
>...
>...
>...
>Oh sweet Celestia...
>You were getting into this weren't you?
>...
>Oh holy horse apples...
>You were...

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>>26851176
Or even Celestia.

>>26851252
Alright, I'm done. Time to write something spooky

>>26851264
How spooky?

2spooky?

>>26851264
dat chit made me laugh mang, made me laugh

>>26851113
im dying

>>26851252
>>Seeing a giant, vein-y, screaming stallion the mare stopped, blinking owlishly, before she moon-walked back into her office
Fucking kek

>>26851013
>>"Go and put that on," he commanded, shooing you away with hand. "If you're going to be my brotege then there's no way in hell you're walking into the church like that."
>brotege
Oh my god Lap male-bonding, you are meeting all my standards
>>26851168
I still have no fucking idea how ponies do the shit you make them do.
Unless... you're doing bipedal anthro furry ponies. Hmm.
>>26851212
>>"Big Mac," Anon said, his face red and his voice straining. "Call your mom. Tell her I'm doing it. Tell her I'm doing it all."
I guess Anon doesn't like the local stallions, but this is a low blow.

>>26851264
You're still silly as a kitty, Lap,

>>26851252
Damn, Anon's a self-centered asshole in this story.
I always disliked guys like this at the gym.
He's big! He's strong! He's better than you!
Everyone needs to listen to this shit, when he's lifting, screaming like a retarded animal!
Whether they like it, or not!

>>26851541
>I take zumba classes at Planet Fitness
>I'm totes fit, guiz
Ugh. You couldn't be gayer if you were mainlining cocks into every possible orifice.

>>26851541
This kind of shit is LaP's namesake. To become huge is the holiest and most pure passion there is anon, anon is not a self-centered asshole, just a man who understands the iron church.

>>26851541
Protip: raising awareness, carrying hashtags, and fighting the patriarchy are not physical fitness activities

>>26851541
You are a heretic, a blasphemer, to the Iron church!

Anon is not self-centred, at no point does he imply he is the best or that everyone else is inferior. Rather he gives assistance to other asking for no payment, an act that would never happen if he was "a self-centered asshole in this story".

No one asks you to listen to them lift, they make those noises for psychological effect, you can tune out noise and would if you were working out well!

>>26851264
Is Anon supposed to be an asshole? Because he's a bit of an asshole.

>>26851566
So it's true then. The bigger your muscles get, the smaller your brain becomes?
Btw, martial arts, or boxing is the sport for a true man, not bodybuilding.
My penis is small, but at least my biceps are huge. I scream like a woman giving birth when I lift, so I'm manly, right guiz?!

>>26851541
Fuck off. If you can't focus on your own workout while other people are enjoying theirs, you deserve a dumbbell to the face.

>>26851651
you sound like a woman on her period

>>26851662
Such aggression.
Are you sure the logical part of your brain is still working, or you just injected to much steroids in your ass already?

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>>26851541

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>>26851708
Have fun dying of obesity.

>>26851212
>"Big Mac," Anon said, his face red and his voice straining. "Call your mom. Tell her I'm doing it. Tell her I'm doing it all."

Wow. This Anon is such a dick is not even funny.

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>>26851541
>>26851650
>>26851651
>>26851708
>>26851741
It's time to stop posting.
It's time to

>>26851765
Bitch-boys can't handle the bantz

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>>26851541

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>>26851651

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Wow, are you all manstruating at the same time?

>>26851541

I don't even work out and I can tell you're a shit.

>>26851831
Same.

I really need to start, I'm a fucking twig.

>"Big Mac," Anon said, his face red and his voice straining. "Call your mom. Tell her I'm doing it. Tell her I'm doing it all."
Seriously though, that wasn't very funny.

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ITT: Stronk "bodybuilders" VS SJWS

/fit/ pls, get back to your own board.

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>>26851765
I'm sorry if I triggered you, but messing with dead parents is 'beat the shit out of you' territory to me.

>>26851887
No, the thread can't move to another topic until different green is posted. For now, we are /fit/GRE.

Once new green comes, we'll shitposting about that. Personally hoping for some Luna romance next, that turns into top tier impregnation shitposting.

>>26851901
Ow, the edge. If you can't handle a little smack talk, go back to planet fitness.

>>26851887
sjws dont belong on this site period

>>26851939
This. A million times this!

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>>26851566
>You couldn't be gayer if you were mainlining cocks into every possible orifice.


I think I just found my new favorite insult!

>>26851927
>Implying I go to the gym.
>Implying there is even a planet fitness in my country.
>Implying I even know what the deal with planet fitness is.

I can handle smack talk just fine, but everyone has their topics that they are sensitive about.

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>>26851981
Not on 4chan you little pussy!

Go hard or go back to tumbler faggot!

>>26851918
Subtle jab taken. I'm working on it, but since you guys want the full H&H date in one go, it may take a little longer.

>>26851981
lmao

>>26850978
>girlband
Shouldn't that be fillyband?

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>>26851994
YYYYEEEEAAAAHHHH!

>>26851994
Yeah, sometimes I forget where I am. Let me correct that then:

>but everyone has their topics that they are sensitive about, when talking with someone IRL.

I don't get mad if you insult dead parents in the net. But don't get triggered If I call you a dick, or a fictional self-insert character for that matter.

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Holy shit, what is going on here?
>>26851734 >>26851662 >>26851609 >>26851566
Hey easy there laddies, you will raise your heart rate, and cardio kills gains.

>>26851651
> The bigger your muscles get, the smaller your brain becomes?
> boxing is the sport for a true man
Brain damage is like THE health risk in boxing. It literally dumbs people down.I guess it's ok for you if you're dumb as long as your brain is beeg?

>>26851927
Oh, I see a proud native of Cushcuckistan!
Because in non-cucked countries you don't go around shitting on people's dead parents. They won't find it funny, and potentially, neither will you.

>>26851994
I see you are well-versed in CHAN CULTURE! Epic for the win! Faggots!
>>26851957
>This
This, kind gentlesir!

>>26852114
nigger

>>26852114
>I see you are well-versed in CHAN CULTURE! Epic for the win! Faggots!
Here's another bit of chan culture you might have missed: Unless you're a content creator, responding to multiple comments in one post is cancer.