MLPFEMTORPG: 0% body fat

http://pastebin.com/U5bWUjsA

>>26748556
http://pastebin.com/wkLAJKUv

>>26748556
http://pastebin.com/9ZquVXW9

>>26748556
http://pastebin.com/QUGaHjhT

File: Shantae.png (141KB, 873x925px) Image search: [Google]

141KB, 873x925px

>>26748668
>totally didn't break my tradition of a sheet post pic. Nope

>>26748567
>>26748577
>>26748622
>>26748668
You brave adventurers are on the road through the pleasant Equestrian countryside traveling to your next destination. As you do so, however, you see an ominous grey mass on the horizon, which looms closer and closer as the day progresses. Before long, you find yourselves caught in a terrible thunderstorm. The howling wind nearly blows you over, and the heavy, unrelenting rain chills you to your very bones. There is even some hail that batters and stings you endlessly. Visibility is low, even with what light sources you may have; however, you can see the lights of a building in the distance that may offer shelter from the inclement weather.

>>26748720

"Not more hive-damned rain..." mirage mutterd as she ried to cover up her wings. "It make my wings get a wrinkly!"

>>26748720
Rose trudges along the path, wearing a large, puffy coat with a faux-furred hood and scarf wrapped around her head.
>>26748746
"Hrrfrrmrrshrrfrrhrr," she says in reply, as she makes her way towards the building, knocking on the door with her hoof once she reaches it.

>>26748766

Mirage ust looked at rose. "say what now?"

>>26748779
"Mrrhrrhrr chrfrhr."

>>26748720
Scylis doesn't hesitate for the chance to get out of the cold rain, making her way straight for the lit building.

>>26748746
"This is why you should always get a cloak for occasions such as this." Scylis says, striking a pose with her cloak blowing in the wind.

>>26748720
Razzle shivers a bit, holding herself close while still walking along with a surprising amount of energy.
"It is weather like this I miss the sun back home."
She winces from one of the hailstones, picking it up and looking at it.
"At worst, we just got sand in some of our more unmentionable places."

>>26748766
>>26748779
"I'm not sure, but doesn't she look just perfect for some unfortunate event to happen to her?" She says this in an oddly happy way.
"If only it was more orange...."

>>26748815
>Adding roll to look fabulous in a storm.
[1d10]

>>26748795

"in equish please?" mirage bluntly states

>roll for interpritation [1d10]

>>26748823
You just look wet and miserable. A flash of lightning illuminates you against a nearby grove of trees, though, which is pretty cool.

>>26748840
It's probably the scarf muffling her voice.

>>26748766
>>26748815
>assuming everyone else follows
You're in luck, as the building appears to be some sort of inn. It is a large, wooden, two floor structure with a thatched roof, square four-paned windows and a chimney. A warm yellow glow comes from inside, promising shelter and comfort. A rickety old sign hangs above the door, advertising its proud name: "The Jangling Jester". It is decorated by a wooden carving of theater masks.

>>26748815
There is a brief moment of silence after you knock, then you see a figure moving at the window. It peers at you before dashing behind the door. Soon enough, the clicking and rattling of several locks reveals an orange middle aged pegasus mare in an apron, who welcomes you in with a smile. "Oh my. You must be freezing to death, poor things. Come in, come in! The storm won't be over for quite a while, so we're not turning away customers today. Or ever," she adds with a chuckle.

>>26748876

"24/7 service? that always a nice thing." Mirage says with a smile, happy to be out of the rain.

>>26748876
Rose comes in, pulling off her hood and scarf, sighing and tossing her mane around. "Hoo, thanks a lot, trudging up that slope was such a hassle and I feel like that wind was going right through my coat!" She looks for a couch or sofa to lie down and relax upon.

>>26748876
Scylis puts on a faux smile as the mare opens up. "Oh, thank you so much. It's absolutely dreadful out there, I thought we would never find cover." She says, making her way inside and looking for a place to hang her cloak up to dry.

>>26748876
Seeing such a warm welcome, Razzle happily trots in.
"Thank you very much, Miss Inn Pegasus," she greets without skipping a beat in her speaking, walking inside. Not really having much that needs drying, Razzle simply goes to a corner and shakes herself off before finding (hopefully) a fire to sit near.
"Feels like this weather just came out of nowhere, brr!"

>>26748926
"Just put your wet clothes in the basket over there." She points to a wicker basket on the floor nearby, already half-full with damp clothing. "If you don't have anything to change into, we can supply you with some dry clothes. I'm sure we have something around here. Although, finding something to fit your physique might be hard..."
1/2

>>26748985
2/2

>>26748895
>>26748914
>>26748926
>>26748947
The inside is just as comfortable as the outside would suggest. On your immediate right is a rack containing weapons in a disparity of shapes and sizes, as well as a few armor stands. Beyond that is a well-polished mahogany bar alongside the kitchen area. Shelves can be seen holding various beverages and jars of confectioneries. On the left is a proper dining area, consisting mostly of a large oaken table with a flower pattern tablecloth. The centerpiece of the room is a bear skin rug, over which hangs an enormous chandelier. There are several chairs and tables situated around the room, and at the far end is a roaring fireplace above which sits a shelf containing some sort of urn. In the corner is the stairway leading to the rooms on the second floor.
Apart from the mare, there are five other characters going about their business in the inn:
By the fireplace are seated an aquamarine pegasus with a drooping mustache and a dapper-looking sky blue unicorn in a robe. They are engaged in a game of chess, and don't spare you more than a glance.
In a corner is a brown spotted Diamond Dog with what appears to be a longsword by his side. He seems busy writing something, and doesn't pay you any attention.
At the bar sits a yellow earth pony mare in furs drinking brandy while conversing with a burly blue pegasus with a goatee behind the counter. The mare gives you a nod of acknowledgement.
The orange pegasus turns to you beaming. "Welcome, welcome! My name is Quickdraw, and this is my lovely husband Speakeasy." She gestures at the pegasus barman, who gives you a friendly wave. "Unless you fancy braving that weather again, it looks like you'll have to stay here a while. We have food, drink, beds, anything you require."

>>26748997

Mirage makes her way over to the fire and lays down near it, makeing a barly audible purr as she basks in the warmth.

"ahhh... thats so much better..."

>>26748997
Rose hangs up her coat on the back of one of the chairs as she settles down in it, nuzzling her chin into the cushion and sighing in relaxation. "If I could get a light salad and some white wine, I'd be happy as a bluebird in spring," she says, "And I think we'd all like a room for the night."

>>26748985
"Well... I won't mind if I have to slip into something smaller, it's only for a night anyways. Where's the changing room?" She asks, setting her cloak down neatly into the basket.

>>26748997
Razzle moves close to he fire, looking to warm the what chill and dampness remains away.

>>26748997
>>26749014
"I second that," Razzle says, moving around a bit.
"In fact, almost better enough to dance a bit!"

She begins to slowly dance in place, moving her front hooves in a gentle, flowing motion while her back legs keep her rotating around in place, lightly shaking her hips. Her smile grows larger as she dances, both from enjoyment and as the rotating drys her off and warms her up more and more.

>Gentle dance (Inspire/entertainment for the nearby patrons)
[1d10+2]

>>26749014
>>26749075
The heat of the fireplace warms you down to your very bones. It's incredibly relaxing. You feel like you could sit there forever.
The two fellows by the fire seem to be finishing their chess game. "Check," says the unicorn smugly. The pegasus frowns as he makes a move.
"Checkmate!" the unicorn crows. "Sorry, old chap. Better luck next time!" The pegasus tugs on his mustache and grumbles indistinctly as he gets up and moves to a different table, picking up a guitar there and beginning to strum absent-mindedly. The unicorns chuckles to himself and takes the whiskey bottle the pegasus left behind.

>>26749045
"Of course!" says Quickdraw as Speakeasy goes into the kitchen. "You don't have to worry about paying now, either. We'll hand you the bill once the storm passes." She moves behind the counter and passes you a keychain with four keys on it. "Your rooms are at the start of the hallway upstairs, just on the right as you go up."
"Sorry, friend, we're actually out of lettuce for the salad," says Speakeasy as he returns with a bottle of white wine and begins to pour it. "We have tomato soup and pumpkin soup though, as well as plenty of stew. I could throw together a fruit salad too. Which one would you prefer?" He hands you the brimming wine glass.

>>26749069
"Just upstairs," Speakeasy calls. "The bathrooms are at the very end of the hall."

>>26749075
Your dancing strengthens and clears your mind. You feel at ease in this comfortable inn. The other patrons seem to enjoy your display; the mare at the bar and the mustached pegasus watch you intently, and the dapper unicorn applauds you when you finish. "Good show, madam! Is that a traditional dance? I've never seen anything quite like it."

"Well," says Quickdraw, "if you guys are going to be staying here a while we might as well get to know one another. May we know your names? Or is your business your own?"

>>26749270
"I'd like the tomato soup," she says, sipping from the wine glass once it's poured, taking the keys and putting them on her horn with a laugh.

"My name's Rose Tempest, I'm a traveling consultant for politicians and businesses, mostly just helping ponies out with their problems."

>>26749270

MIrage continues to bask in by the fire, her wings buzzing slightly now that they had dried off

>>26749270
"You may call me Scylis, a pleasure to meet you darling. Now if you excuse me, I should get out of this wet armor." She says, making her way to the bathrooms upstairs.

Along the way, Scylis decides to mess with the dapper unicorn by swiping the king chess piece while his attention is on Razzle.

>Using inspire bonus with Slight of Hand.
[1d10+2]

>>26749270
"It is a bit of a native dance, yes," Razzle says happily, picking up the energy in her dancing. She moves her front hooves in circles around each other, standing on her hind legs and leaning back while keeping the motion going.
"But there is some personal expression as well. Especially the energy."
She punctuates this by doing a small hop onto one front hoof and doing a hoofstand, having her back legs do the circling motion as her dress gets weighed down by gravity.

>Another performance (Inspire)
>DC -1 from talent, using bonus if applicable
[1d10+4]

>>26749308
Speakeasy nods as he goes back into the kitchen. You find the wine to taste a little funny for your liking, but it's still palatable. It's not long before Speakeasy returns. "Here comes the grub!" he says cheerily as he passes you a steaming hot bowl of soup.
"Oh, is that so?" says Quickdraw. "That sounds... interesting, to say the least. Does it pay very well?"
You suddenly begin to feel somewhat tired and sleepy. Looking at the clock over the bar, you see that it's about 7:30 pm. The trek through the storm must have taken a lot out of you.

>>26749322
"...Um, okay," says Quickdraw. "I guess you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. I'll respect your privacy."
You notice the Diamond Dog in the corner eyeing you with some suspicion.

>>26749344
You swipe the chess piece. He doesn't seem to notice you doing so.
The bathrooms upstairs are rather frugal. There is little of interest here, apart from a rather tacky flower pattern wallpaper on the walls. You notice that one of the mirrors is cracked, and one of the cubicles are out of order.

>>26749401
You keep dancing. The unicorn seems very impressed by your skills. "Fantastic! I must write about this. I've never had the chance to speak with a Saddle Arabian before. ...Oh, but where are my manners." He extends his hoof. "My name is Think Tank. I'm an anthropologist. A pleasure to meet you, madam. Would you care for some wine?"

"Would anyone else like a bite to eat?" says Quickdraw. "Or a drink? I was just about to put some cupcakes in the oven for later."

>>26749528

Mirage eyes the Diomond dog right back, and eyebrow raised.

>>26749528
Scylis drops the act for a moment as she looks at the bathrooms with disgust. "Tch... Well, what can you expect from a place like this." She mumbles, using one of the stalls to change out of her armor and wring out her clothing from underneath. She also decides to toss the chess piece into the trash.

Once she gets her clothing wringed out and slips back into them, Scylis checks herself out in the cracked mirror, frowning at how wrinkly her clothing has become. "Well... At least they have a fire downstairs."

>>26749528
Razzle is practically grinning from how big her smile is, but she eventually stops the dancing. She pushes off her one hoof, landing on all fours and her skirt righting itself, by itself.
"A pleasure as well. My name is Razzle," she says, shaking Think Tank's hoof, "and I'm not anything in particular."

She joins Think Tank at his table, sitting across from him.
"Some good spirits after a good dance sounds lovely. So what is a stallion, such as yourself, curious about in little ol' me?" she asks, bringing her front hooves together and resting her chin on the spot where they touch.

>>26749528
Rubbing her eyes, Rose gets up from the chair. "Haaaw, it pays alright," she says, as she heads upstairs to one of the rooms, unlocking it and sitting on the bed. She summons an Esper that takes the form of a giant syringe with wings, then sticks out her arm for some treatment.

>Using talent to summon a minion with Heal and Innervate
[1d10] Innervate(Poison)

>>26749538

>roll for percetion

[1d10]

>>26749602
*Inure, not Innervate

[1d10]

>>26749538
>>26749622
Eye contact remains unbroken, at least until Speakeasy looms over the Dog. "Is there a problem here?"
"...None," says the Dog in a husky voice. He packs up his gear and moves upstairs to his room. You swear you could have seen them exchange the smallest of nods.
"Sorry about that," says Speakeasy cheerily. "Truth be told, I don't fancy the look of him either," he adds in a hushed voice. "Seems shifty to me." He gives you a friendly wink and returns to his place at the bar, beginning to polish it.

>>26749570
>>26749758
As you check yourself out in the mirror, you hear footsteps from the hallway. Presumably one of the other patrons clocking in for the night. Then, you hear the faintest of creaks as the bathroom door is moved by something...

>>26749596
"Everything!" Think Tank gives you a mischievous grin as he pulls out a notebook and a pen. You notice he has a gold tooth. "I've wanted to do research into Saddle Arabian culture for quite some time now, and what better place to start than with a genuine specimen?" He chuckles and scribbles something.
"So, where to start... Well, tell me. What is daily life like in Saddle Arabia? What would your routine be like?"

>>26749602
>>26749642
Your minion treats you, but to no avail. You still feel lethargic. Footsteps come from the corridor.

"No one wants anything? That's okay. I'll get the cupcakes ready," says Quickdraw with a beam. She vanishes into the kitchen. In the corner, the mustached pegasus begins to play a melancholy song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3b51b-MJ7o

>>26749797
After yawning again, Rose decides to head back down and maybe just fall asleep in the chair, bringing her minion with her like a Gradius option.
She settles back down in the chair, yawning again before digging into her soup, downing it quickly and ignoring the rest of the wine.

>>26749797
Scylis swiftly moves into the stall she was previously using, holding onto her armor as she hides in the locked stall. If someone was going to be using the restroom, she should make them use the broken stall.

>Stealth

>>26749797

Getting up, Mirage begun looking about for the bathroom, feeling the building urge to releife herslef.

>>26749797
"Hmm, well that varies depending where you are, and who you're asking," Razzle replies simply, sipping down some wine.
"For example, I like to perform for whoever requests my services. A fun living; much more fun than of the tax collecting royalty, or the hook-breaking work of laborers. Otherwise, life is really warm; some sandstorms, but we're always prepared for those. Buuuut...."
She grins mischievously herself.
"I do like to travel, sometimes go where danger is. Met a spirit that way, actually; taught me some magic, and all I had to do was dance for it. That was a fun night at an oasis."

>>26749832
The soup is as delicious as it looks. Your follower gets some odd looks from around the room, but no one questions it.
You are beginning to feel much sleepier.
>roll to resist falling asleep

>>26749839
You hide in the stall. You hear the door close and lock followed by shuffling footsteps, and then you see Diamond Dog feet from under the stall. One of the bathroom stalls opens, then another, then another. He stops as he gets to yours, then you see a small steel spherical object drop to the floor and roll under the door. Thick grey smoke begins to pour out from the contraption, making it impossible to see anything.
Suddenly, you hear your stall door swing open, and you feel someone try to seize you.
[1d10+2] Grab

>>26749863
The door to the bathroom appears to be locked from the other side. Something feels amiss to you.

>>26749909
"I see, I see." He takes notes as you speak. "So supernatural occurrences like that encounter are commonplace there, are they?"

>>26749997
Rose attempts to stay awake, but pulls a blanket up to her chin in spite of wanting to stay up.
[1d10]

>>26749997

Mirage grmicaes, trying to hold it in.

"damit,damnit,damnit"

in a despret attempt to get in, she begins trying to jimmy the lock.

[1d10] on jimmying the lock

>>26749997
"Hmm, it varies. I've only seen the spirit once, and not since then. Others can go their whole lives and not see them. Of course, most of them don't believe in them."
She giggles a bit.
"I used to be like that, actually. Was a real shocker for me."

"So, do you mind answer one of my questions now?"
She takes another small sip of wine.
"What brings a pony of your profession all the way out here? Was it something like fate so you and I could meet?" She flashes him a quick wink.

>>26749997
Scylis quickly grabs her dirks, attempting to use the smoke to her advantage to give her a perfect strike to stab down at the dog's back.

>Backstab
[1d10]

>>26750057
[1d10]

>>26750005
It's no use. You're just too comfortable. You quickly doze off to sleep listening to the music.

>>26750031
You manage to force the lock and open the door. Thick smoke begins to pour out from the bathroom. You can see the outlines of the Diamond Dog from before fighting Razzle. They appear to be on even footing.

>>26750057
>>26750131
He nods and scribbles excitedly as you speak.
"Perhaps," he answers with a mysterious smile. "Truth be told, I am traveling to a conference with my colleagues over in Canterlot. It's the biggest convention for anthropologists in all of Equestria. Unfortunately, I was caught in that awful storm outside and had to take shelter. A good thing it was so. I am very fortunate to have met you. ...Er, are you sure you would not like some wine?" He pauses to take a sip himself. However, you notice that he only pretended to drink.

>>26750063
You manage to struggle away from him and plunge with your trusty dirk. You hear a grunt of pain as you stab him in the back. Your hands quickly become slippery with blood. He retaliates with a clawing rake at your face.
[1d10+2] regular attack

You hear thumping sounds coming from upstairs. The mare at the bar frowns as she looks up. "Dear me, what's all that racket?" says Think Tank. "Glitter Freeze, my friend, why don't you go see what's going on up there?" The mustached pegasus agrees and begins to head up.

>>26750196
As his claw comes for her face, Scylis opens her mouth in retaliation to give the dog a nice spray of acid to the face.

>Acidic Drool
[1d10]

>>26750196

Mirage took advantage of the situation, sneaking up behind the dog, and stabbing it with her dagger, coated in a littl esomething she kept around.

>sleep serum

[1d10]

>>26750196
She raises a brow with a smile.
"Perhaps, but I think I'll pass," she says, "good spirits with good company is always nice. But from all this noise, I'm not sure if I'm in the best of company to enjoy said spirits with."
She stands up, and offers Think Tank a hoof.
"But, perhaps a dance might be more of your forte. After all, first hoof experiences are more informative than me simply talking, and you not drinking."
She grins a bit, wiggling the offering hoof around a bit, while she does a small, stationary shaking of her hips.

>Inspire
[1d10+2]

>>26750215
He flinches as he swings, avoiding your spray. He leaves deep claw marks down your face that smart terribly. You thump to the floor, reeling from the attack.
>Scylis takes 5 hits, helpless

The Dog unsheathes his longsword to plunge it into your heart...

>>26750274
But promptly drops it as you poison him with sleep serum. He seems resistant to the toxin, but is stunned for the moment.

Your job here is not done yet, however. You hear footsteps from behind you, and the mustached pegasus faces you down. He wields dual daggers, and flips them around to face you. "Hello, poppet," he drawls before lunging at you.
[1d10]
[1d10]

>>26750302
"It would be a pleasure, madam." He bows slightly as he takes your hoof, kissing it before beginning to follow your lead in the dance. Your skills somehow fill your allies upstairs with determination.
>+1 to the party's next rolls

>>26750005
You suddenly come to. You feel light-headed and dizzy, but otherwise well rested. Razzle seems to be getting intimate with Think Tank, and you can hear strange noises coming from upstairs.

Quickdraw returns from the kitchen wearing comically large mittens. "They'll be a while before they're ready," she says sweetly. "Dear me, but what is that noise? And where have my patrons gone?"

>>26750363
Scylis screams in pain as her face is clawed and her body brought to the ground. With Adrenalin pumping through her veins she attempts to roll away from the attack and recover.

>Recovery
[1d10+1]

>>26750363
Rose gets up from her seat, yawning and rubbing her eyes. "I'll go check it out," she says, trudging up the stairs, summoning an extra couple Espers in case there's trouble, the summoned servants taking forms similar to giant spearheads.
>using Talent to summon 2 Espers with Stances and Tumble

[1d10] Looking for the commotion

>>26750363

both hits connected, cutting into Mirages chiten.

"you little bitch!" she snaps, whirling around with her dagger, intent on spilling blood.

>rupture

[1d10+1] singl wep mean hits on 5 or higher

>>26750414
>forgot to change HP

>>26750414
You fail to get back up. The injury to your face hurts too much.

>>26750445
You summon two more Espers as you look around. It's not difficult to see what's going on. Scylis and Mirage are fighting the Diamond Dog and pegasus from before. The Dog appears dazed, although this is wearing off. Scylis looks to be in bad shape too.

>>26750446
Both daggers stab into your sides, mercifully missing your vital organs. The pain is almost blinding, however, and you too collapse from the impact, but not before landing a blow of your own that makes the pegasus buckle over alongside you. "Hngh!"
>Mirage takes 5 hits, helpless

The Dog sees Rose join the fight and goes to tackle her to the ground.
[1d10] Grapple

You hear footsteps from below, alongside a clicking sound and a spell being cast.

>>26750511
Scylis attempts to bite through the pain on her face and stand back up. "I-I swear... I'm going to slit your throat for what you did to my face!" She roars angrily.

>Recovery
[1d10]

>>26750511
"Hey now, that's no way to treat a couple ladies!" Rose says, pointing at them with her hoof as she sends the two combat espers at the pegasus and diamond dog, stepping back as the dog comes to tackle her.
[1d10+2] Tiger Stance @ Dog
[1d10+2] Tiger Stance @ Pegasus

>>26750511

"Hive damnit... Im going to EVICERATE you!" Mirage growls out, trying to get back to her hooves, emerald blood leaking from her wounds

>recovery [1d10]

>>26750518
You still can't get up. You feel weakened.

>>26750525
The first esper bowls the Dog over mid-grab, knocking him to the wooden floor helpless. The second one stabs the pegasus while he's down.

>>26750534
You struggle back up despite your injuries.
"That's enough!" Quickdraw's voice comes from behind you. Turning around, you see her remove the oversized mitten, revealing a large flintlock pistol. She aims it directly at Scylis. Behind her, you see Think Tank having summoned six homing orbs, Speakeasy brandishing his hooves with knuckledusters and the yellow mare brandishing a hefty mace. "You're outnumbered. You haven't done anything we can't forgive yet. Put down your weapons now and hand over your valuables, and we'll let you go without a hassle."

>>26750610

"and how do i know you arnt just going to kill us afterwards anyways?"

[1d10+1] for pursuasion

>>26750610
Rose looks back at the innkeeper and co. now brandishing weapons and magic. "I haven't got anything worth taking," she says, "And I'll be paying my bill tomorrow morning, does that get me off without any issue?"

She sends her healing esper over to Scylis to jab the needle in and give her some healy goodness.
[1d10] Heal Scylis

>>26750610
>>26750680
Scylis remains on the ground, thinking carefully as she tries to figure out if the dog might have an extra smoke bomb on him and where it might be.

>Master Thief
[1d10]

>>26750610
From wherever Razzle comes in in all this, Razzle holds up her hooves.
"Now now, I don't think there is any need for violence," Razzle says, then a hoof goes fishing around in her long skirt.
"I'm sure I've got...something that is well worth your time, and whatever trouble happened."

>Hat Magic: digging around for a high value coin/gem/whatever
>-1 due to purebreed,unless I'm allowed to count my inspire buff from before I had internet trouble
[1d10-1]

>>26750637
"Why would we do that?" says Speakeasy. "Do you know how hard it is to get rid of one body, let alone four? You'd stink up the whole place and drive customers away."

>>26750680
You begin to heal Scylis, curing all of her wounds. The yellow mare gestures with her mace, sending a flash of blue at the esper.
[1d10] Spellbreaker

You can see that he has some on his belt, but you can't reach them from where you are.

>>26750773
We'll just assume you joined Rose when she went up the stairs.
Digging around in your skirt, you regrettably don't manage to pull out anything more than an oddly colored rock. "Sorry, love. You'll have to do better than that," says Think Tank. You note that he's dropped his posh, cultivated accent for a rough cockney one. "Come on now. Everyone put down your weapons and hand over the goods, and you can all go free."

File: hateful-eight-cabin-tim-roth-bruce-dern.jpg (157KB, 728x427px) Image search: [Google]

157KB, 728x427px

>pausing!