How does one hit on a pony?

>>26030436
Easy just swing your warm at their face

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>>26030436

Nibble their ears to show dominance.

>>26030436
Tell them how pretty they are. Say you're gonna comb their mane.
There is literally no pony in Equestria that can resist this.

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>>26030436
Depends on the pony.

Yours, OP? I recommend a baseball bat.

Be constantly obnoxious to them. Apparently, bitches love it when you're constantly obnoxious.

>>26030488

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDVKYKX-eLM

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>>26030436

>>26030515
You missed /r9k/ by a bunch.

>>26030485
But I want pone to be dominant.

You turn them upside down and rub their bellies

>>26030511
The Baseball Furies are shit

>>26030436
>boop

>>26030436
the same way everything hits on everything
the male trots around looking awesome
the female, if she likes his shit, goes up to him and tells him she likes his shit
done. any other combination doesnt work

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>>26030436
Get Top Cunt drunk on cider
Buy Purple Smart a book
>"Apples Apples Apples! Farming, hard work, family! Buck, buck buck!"
Buy Dress Horse's attention with gems and tickets to opera matines
Shovel shit with Yellow Squeaker and enjoy kinky bestiality
Just ask Ponk

Anyone know how to get this one's affection?

>>26032077
night clubs

>>26032097
But anon, we rave in a nightclub, surely she'd hate me for not admiring her beautiful night...
And just staring up at the stars might be seen as wasting it and it's fucking cold with the wind to boot

>>26032123
have a nice dinner in a heated greenhouse at night?

>>26030436

smell her butthole and compliment her on her good health. then politely allow her to smell your penis

>>26032241
>Dog
>Pony
Know the difference

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>>26031278
Right on.

Fuckin' wimps all of 'em

>>26032257

I can dream

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>>26030458
Stop beating a dead horse. Unless you like hitting on the dead.

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>put effort into self as to not be a repulsive ham beast
>find opportunity to be physically close without it seeming intrusive
>scratch itch for mare
>scratch more
>and more
>escalate to massaging
>stop right when it gets really good
>make her dream about it for a day
>trivially leverage and manipulate her into wanting more from you
>realize that there's no preset rules to adhere to and that being a decent, interesting person will generally secure you any relationship that's worth your time anyway

>>26032077
Literally moonlit walks on the beach. This should be a no-brainer.

>>26032752
>>realize that there's no preset rules to adhere to and that being a decent, interesting person will generally secure you any relationship that's worth your time anyway

>says the literal horsefucker

>>26030436
i dont know about one, but two and five would have class.

>>26032836
Does fingering and licking count as fucking?

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>>26030728

>>26030436
>How does one hit on a pony?
In Soviet Russia, pony hit on you.

>>26030677
Then you let them do it

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It's pretty damn easy

>>26032123
>rave in a night
That's all she ever wanted. Remember she was saddened by ponies sleeping through her beautiful nights.

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Don't click unless you have a strong stomach.

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"Hey, hotflanks! How about we get some exercise?"
"Hey friend, can I show you my favorite type of hug?"
"No, seriously, I want to make a family with you."
"Actually, I descend from a line of kings. Let me make you feel like royalty."
"Sometimes, the best way to learn is through experience. But I do have some great books on the subject..."
"Yes, the animals can watch."

>>26032752
The more you reveal about yourself, the more I understand you do what you do. I still hate you, but I understand why now.

>>26030436
Forkheads made an mlp Sim date (admitidly our second worst title but still fun) check that and do what the protag does in it.