Anon in Equestria - Thread #1080

>>25740870
tripfags in horesland

>>25740870
Can anyone make green about OP's pic?

>>25741094
>Be Anon.
>Hold small horses.
>Small horses suddenly explode.
"Oh my... They blow up so fast."
>You shed a tear.
Fin~

Please rate.

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>>25740870

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We HD now.

>>25741094
This.

>>25741379
Explosive, mang.

Is PiE dead? If so, anyone going to be pissed of I post what is technically a PiE story here? After that I've got actual AiE almost done.

>>25741764
I don't think anyone's going to complain.
I've done it a couple times.

>>25741764
Shit son, I've been posting stuff here from the pony slave thread. Go for it.

>>25741379
Like>>25741619 said, Explosive

>>25741764
Probably some sperg will get pissy but fuck him.
Post away.

>>25742654
Who has to fuck him then? I wont do it... will you?

>>25742835
I got this. I'll fuck anything for a nickle.

>>25742889
Can the nickle be paid in installments?

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>>25743023
Sure. Three easy payments of three cents.

>>25743039
Done. Now get to fuckin'.

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>>25743073
I'm prepared.

I got a story to post if people are down to read it. I'm the Anon who stopped posting his story, to fix it up by the way.

>>25743145
Post now or I'll shake my fist angrily at you.

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>>25741483
Zero G fun with TS.

>>25743160
oh shi

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>tfw no sunhorse kissu

"Twilight put me the fuck down."
>"I-I can't Anon! The spell must have backfired."
"Twilight...do you remember why I told you I hate when you experiment on me?"
>"...yes."
"Do you remember WHY I told you I hate hate it?"
>"Because things always go wr-"
"BECAUSE THINGS ALWAYS GO WRONG!"
>She flinches away from your shouting
"And what did you promise me Twilight?"
>She stares at the ground head hanging
>"That nothing would go wrong."
"You even pinkie promised Twilight. What would Ponka say if I told her?"
>You grab a book off the chair you are floating over
"You have until I finish this Daring Do book to fix this Twiggles. Because if I am still floating once I am done I swear that not even your mother will recognize whats left of your body."

>>25743117
What do you need so much blood for?

>>25743809
he's a big guy

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>>25743145
>My name is Anon. My full name’s, Anonymous V. Sincara and I am boned. Royally boned.
>Spooky Skellingtons skull fucking your grandmothers decayed corpse, boned.
>It all started a couple months ago, I had just dropped out of college and had come back to my hometown of Canterlot to get my old job at Guns and Grub (A gun store, fast food joint hybrid so American even the girls get visible freedom boners.) back.
>When I went to talk to Mr.Evergreen I noticed he had replaced me with Pinkie of all people. We exchanged pleasantries and talked while I waited for the old man to show up and before he did Pinkie offered to throw me a welcome home party along with some of our mutual friends.
>Not wanting to fall into my recluse habits that had made me drop out of college I accepted, exchanging numbers with Pinkie in order to stay in touch.
>This is where things started getting a bit out of my control. I was able to get my old job as the cook and was pretty happy with myself and so when I got home I was feeling good. I went up to my room in order to get some sleep, however at that time Pinkie bombarded me with texts telling me to got to our old high school Canterlot High, home of the Wondercolts and being the good little beta that I am, I complied grabbing a coat and was off to school.
>Somehow Pinkie had managed to prepare a party and get the schools permission to use the gym in the small time that we were separate.
>The party was great. I was reunited with my highschool crush Rainbow Dash, which didn’t yield anything exciting but it was still nice to see her, along many of my old friends.
>It wasn’t until the party had ended and only me and Pinkie where at the school cleaning that I noticed Pinkie had become very quiet and timid, being the nice guy that I am I asked her if she was okay to which she responded by asking if I wanted to join her backroom party. I quickly agreed and Pinkie happily took me back to her house.

>>25744103
>Now I know some of you out there are heating up some lotion, unzipping your pants and getting Mr.Handy ready for his daily cardio workout. But let me stop you right there.
>Backroom party much to my disappointment was not slang for anal, rather it was Pinkies discrete way of asking me to join her Terrorist group “The Laughing Menace.” at first I was extremely unwilling but Pinkie and her associate Gaston Glock in 10mm configuration were very persuasive. Also Pinkie heavily implied there would be sex.
>There was none. Also apparently Pinkies idea of terrorism was just lots of vandalism and mean spirited pranks.
>Sure there was that one time we blew up a parked car, but that was more of an accident than anything else.
>Unfortunately that wasn’t just anybodies car. That was Don-Manana’s car. Not only that it was his prized red 1950’s Ferrari.
>Hemad.jpg
>Don-Manana immediately put a hit out. After that me and Pinkie had to go into hiding, luckily she was the daughter of some extremely rich rock farm family and Pinkie being Pinkie had underground safe houses all over the country stocked with all sorts of shit, it was like a vault from Fallout minus all the weird experiments.
>Which is where I am now. In Pinkie’s vault. Well. Not really I still haven’t managed to get into that. But I’m getting there! I am however inside the safehouse. Also for those who didn’t understand what I was talking about. I haven’t fucked Pinkie yet. For those of you who still don’t understand, well… When an Anon goes to great lengths to impress a Pinkie he expects a handy or a blowy at the least, from time to time. If the Pinkie puts the Anons life in danger, well he expects some Silenced Rectum Merriment or at least some action with that Pinkies Pie. However if Anon is a beta, which it seems I am, then he does all the work for free. Then he dies a kiss-less virgin.

>>25744288
>“Aww. Come on ‘Nonny! It’s not THAT bad. Sure I guess being hunted down like animals seems bad, but look at it like a game of hide and seek, except if the seeker finds us, they’ll cut us to pieces and send those pieces to our family one by one for a year. Also they might rape us.”
I groan at her comment, unable to form words that could properly respond to her stupidity.
I walk over to the armory.
“At least I’ll die surrounded by all the things I love.”
>“Aww I didn’t know you felt that way about me ‘Nonny!” Pinkie pokes her head out from behind a wall.
>You feel the rage of a man who is being mocked by the universe.
>It’s almost as if I am a character in some sort of self-insert fantasy fulfillment story.
“I shouldn’t think like that. Pinkie’s driving me insane.”
>As I caress each and every weapon from the armory I notice what appears to be a detonator with a big red button. I think about pressing it when Pinkie jumps at me.
>“‘Nonnydon’ttouchthatyou’llcreatearipintimeandspacesendingusintoanotherdimensionfilledwithcutecolorfulhorsesandwe’llhavetogothroughamagicaladventureinwhichyou’llfindtrueloveandgetmarriedandhavekidsandsavetheworldandthendieaheroandthenyourchildrenwillgoonadventuresaroundEquestria!”
“Pinkie shut up! For fucks sake! Isn’t it bad enough that you’re going to get me killed! Oh god I have so many regrets the biggest one is MEETING YOU! I’m gonna die a fucking virgin! Oh god those faggots on 4hooves were right!”
>Pinkie looks down at the floor sadly. “W-well you don’t have to die a virgin ‘Nonny…”
“Wait, what?”
>Wait, what? Oh shit! It’s happening! I did it I’m gonna finally fuck Pinkie! I’m gonna B-

>>25744436
>“BANG!” There’s a deafening crack and a blinding flash as the ceiling erupts downward sending debris crashing onto the ground along with a mask of smoke, from the newly constructed sunroof three shadowy figures jump down, one of them has boobs so I assume it’s two guys one girl. Continuing my assumptions, I assume the detonator is rigged to explosives within the safe house and press the button hoping to send the assassins with me to hell or wherever it is beta virgins go after dying a violent and horrific death.
“Allahu Ackbar!”
>The assassins look at me, there’s a flash followed by a soothing darkness.

>“Breaking News: Sinkhole swallows unused crackhouse!”
>“Hello and Welcome to the 7 o’clock news! I’m Flash Brad Sentry.”

>I awaken partially submerged in mud.
“Wh-what the fuck happened?”
>I sluggishly pick myself up and look around, I’m in a swamp, or is it a marsh? It’s wet and muddy and filled with debris from the safehouse. Everything is there! Concrete, steel, the coffee machine, all the weapons from the armory along with the ammo and supplies, all of Pinkie’s “toys.” EVERYTHING…
“Why couldn’t I just get the 72 virgin end?”
> I walk over to an Ak-47 and pick it up, afterwards I head towards an indo-persian scissor dagger still in its sheath.
“How the hell did Pinkie get all this shit?”
>I look around observing the chaos surrounding me.
“WHY CAN’T I JUST GET LAID!?”
>That’s when it hits me like a ton of bricks dropping on you from orbit.
>Pinkie’s missing.
>I trudge around the wreckage looking for the pink haired retard that got me into this mess.
“She’s not here.”
>“No but I am asshole.” I turn around and am greeted by the female assassin pointing her tacticool Ar-15 (It’s got everything! Eotech holo-sight, foregrip, silencer, collapsible stock. Like holy shit how much do you need?) at me. She pulls the trigger and I close my eyes to embrace death.

>>25744496
>Nothing happens. I open an eye and take a peak.
>The mud covered rifle jammed.
>All my time spent on /k/ kicks in and I quickly train my gun at her.
“Drop your weapon and get on the ground now!”
>The assassin goes wide eyed and frantically tries to unjam her weapon.
“H-hey! I’m serious! I’ll shoot!”
>“Behind you! Idiot!”
>I turn around with a speed that could only resemble a nigger running from child support and come face to face with what could only be described as “A fuckhuge hydra hellbent on assraping you with no lube.”
“A hydra?!”
>What type of reaction is that!?
>“Run!”
I bolt like a jew racing for a shekel and the hitgirl follows my lead, quickly snatching a G3a3 from the ground and shooting at the hydra.
“Stop pissing it off!”
>I scream as the hydra continues to advance without noticing any of the bullets except for one that lands in one of its heads eyes. It screeches in response and trips falling with an earth shaking “THUD!!!”
“Don’t stop running it’s not dead!”
>The hydra quickly stands up roaring fiercely.
>Me and the assassin reach a clearing at the edge of a cliff.
>“Shit What do we do!?” The assassin asks panicking. I ignore her and quickly climb down hanging from the edge, she does the same just as the hydra breaks free into the clearing, grunting as it looks for us, quickly moving on, we hang a bit more to be safe, as we do I look over the assassin. She’s wearing a red hoodie over a white shirt and khaki cargo pants tucked into black combat boots, her clothes fail at hiding her generous “assets.” She has long dirty blonde hair, soft pink skin and sea green eyes.
>After a short time we scramble back to the clearing, the girl stands up before me and aims the G3 at me.
“Aw come on really?!”
>I say exasperated. “Fuck you! Any last requests?”
>Knowing my time has come I don’t bother with anything specific simply saying the first thing that comes to mind.

>>25744572
“What’s your name?”
>The assassin gives me a confused glare and it’s obvious she’s debating whether or not she will answer my question.
>“Sunny Flowers, hitman for hire.” Sunny pulls the trigger, I shut my eyes closing them tight and “Click!”
“Oh thank god. Wait.”
>I swing my rifle to face her. “For fucks sake!” She drops her rifle and tries to go for her pistol, a P226 Mk25 TB. I fire a warning shot in response, the shot cracking through the relative calmness of our surroundings.
“Are you fucking kidding me!? Look, I know you want to kill me but think for a second! You don’t know where we are, you don’t know how far we are from civilization and you don’t know if there are more of those fucking monsters, hell you don’t even know if you’re going to get paid! You need me just as much as I need you! If we want to survive we have to work together. Okay?”
>Sunny glares at you then she grunts in acceptance. “Fine. BUT on one condition.”
“What?”
>“We have to go back and I get to grab whatever I want from the wreckage.”
>I hesitate. “Those are my conditions I’m as good as dead without a weapon and if you're the only one with a rifle we’ll only be delaying the inevitable.” I sigh.
“Fine, let’s go get you armed.”
>As we begin walking back to the wreckage I extend a hand and introduce myself properly.
“I’m Anon, full name Anonymous V. Sincara.”
>Sunny rolls her eyes but accepts my hand. “Charmed.” She spits out. The rest of the walk is silent and tense for multiple reasons, the most prominent however is running into the hydra again. After walking for what seemed like hours we reach the wreckage and Sunny quickly finds herself a kukri and grabs a tactical vest rig thing. I think that’s what they’re called… Oh well, it’s not like there’s a group of people reading my thoughts, ready to comment on any mistake I may make. Wait where’d she find that?

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>>25744684
Gotta get ready for work, I'll try to post from my phone when I can.
Anyways, hope people are enjoying it, I'll keep posting when I can.

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>>25744915
Your writing doesn't really sit well with me.

1) First person perspective is nonstandard in these parts
2) Greentext format and multiple sentences per line don't really mesh
3) le meme.txt
4) General grammar/punctuation issues, I'm not an english major to be able to get into specifics about it, but you can do better than this

As for the story itself, not really all that much to it yet, but not my personal cup of tea from what I've seen so far.

>>25743864
uuuu

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>>25741094
Writing about fillies being cuties? It's been a while, but I'll give it a go.

>"Now, Anon, are thou sure thou'll be alright to look after thine little ones?" Mrs Quartz asks worriedly.
>The concern is as clear as day on the mare's face.
"Of course. While I've never been a... Well, a nanny before, I've babysat a few times and tutored countless times."
>"Exactly. Tis little more or less the same thing, only longer. Really Cloudy, the man will be fine, we've got work to do," Igneous Rock states as he wanders over to collect his wife.
>Mrs Quartz gives her little fillies a quick kiss goodbye before heading out into the rock farm to help her husband with the work that's piled up.
>With that part sorted, you decided to go check up on the children.
>Mrs Quartz tried filling you in earlier on what all the little ones are like, but unfortunately Igneous stepped in to tell his wife to stop bothering you. You would have liked knowing what the fillies were like, then again, you'd find out one way or another.
>Apparently they have the kids help out on the rock farm every few days but they are just kids, they can't be working everyday and they also need schooling. Which is why you're here.
>"ANON!" Squeals a little pink blur as she whizzes around your feet.
"Pinkie Pie," you reply, trying to sound equally as enthusiastic.
>"YOU'RE SO BIG!"
"Really? No way, you're just really little," you jokingly answer as you kneel down to try and seem more at her level.
>"I AM?!"
>Pinkie squeals with glee once again and leaps up into the air at you. You weren't quite ready for the hyperactive little beast to hug you so you awkwardly catch her as she dives into your chest.
"Yeah. If you eat all your greens, then I'm sure you'll grow just as big as me. Maybe taller."
>She bites your hand playfully.
>It doesn't hurt at all so it only elicits a giggle from you.
"I mean vegetables and fruits, silly."

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>>25746203
>"I'll go find some right now for both of us."
>She leaps out of your arms and is about to dart into the kitchen when your clear your throat to grab her attention.
>Pinkie looks back and smiles at you while you look at her sternly.
>"Or I'll just wait until lunch?"
>You nod. Then with a happy skip, she hops over to her sister Maud.
>"Whatcha doing Maudie Pie?"
>"Hey Pinkie," she replies in a droll and near monotone voice, "Just organising my rock collection."
>With a smile, you decide to leave those two to their own devices. They'll likely keep themselves entertained.
>Rocks aren't that interesting to you but when you're a kid living on a farm with nothing but rocks, you'd find a way. You find yourself wishing you still had the power of a child's imagination.
>You wander around the large farm house, the floorboards lightly creaking under your weight as you look for the other two.
>Then you find one of them up on the window sill, staring out towards her parents.
>It's either Marble or Limestone, you don't know which is who. This is the light grey one and she seems kind of mopey.
"Hey, what's the matter kiddo?"
>She looks up at you worriedly, trying to scoot closer to the window and away from you.
>"You're freaking her out, you alien," booms the fourth filly that is now gripping onto your leg with a righteous fury.
>She tries to bite into your leg but only gets the pants. Still, the entire scene of a little filly clutching to your leg and tearing away like some rabid dog is a little distressing.
>You grip her by the back, around her withers.
"I was just making sure she's okay, relax."
>"Well, she doesn't need your help!"
"Then can you do me a favour?"
>She pauses for your moment, the looks up at your with a curious eye.
>"What is it?" she cautiously asks.
>You place her down on the sill, beside her shy sister.
"Look after your sister for me and make sure she's feeling better. If there's anything I can do to help, let me know."

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>>25746203

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>>25746214
>"You want me to be in charge of her?"
"Think you can handle it?"
>She nods furiously, pride is practically glowing off her as she stands by her sister's side.
>And so, with those two seemingly keeping themselves occupied, you decide perhaps you'll go clean or something.
>Most of the house is in pretty good condition, you know Mrs Quartz was up earlier than everyone so you'd guess this is why.
>So you just read a book.
>There was a really fascinating one on identifying different types of rocks, and another on rock care.
>And by fascinating you mean the part about how rock-centred this family's life is. All the rock information isn't interesting in the slightest to you.
>But it's all there is.
>Then, you feel a little weight slide onto your shoulder.
>You look over to see Maud had climb up the back of the chair and is now slouching over on both the top of the chair and your shoulder while she stares deeply at the book.
>"This book is my favourite," she flatly states as she turns the pages, "here."
>She points to an entire chapter about pet rocks.
>"Ma and Pa won't let me have a pet so I like to read this and pretend."
"They won't let you have a pet rock?"
>"It's a lot of responsibility," she sighs.
"Hmm, well, what would you name your pet rock, if you got one?"
>"Boulder," she replies without hesitation.
"Not rocky?" You jokingly ask.
>"That'd kind of be like calling you an ape."
"But, wouldn't boulder also be like that?"
>"No, Boulder is an real name."
"Well, rocky--"
>You stop suddenly as you realise how unnecessary it is to argue names for a rock with a filly.
"Boulder sounds like a lovely name," you answer her with a warm smile.
>"Thanks. Say... Do you think you could talk to my parents?"
"About?"
>"Letting me have a pet. I'm sure if they think you think it's a good idea, they'll be okay with it. You don't have to if you don't want to though."

Just posting what I've got as a bump.
Hopefully I don't forget about this.

>>25744684
Hey where’d you find that?”
>I ask. “What?” I point to the vest.
“The vest. Where’d you get it?”
>Sunny gives me a confused scowl. “What, you mean the chest rig?” I roll my eyes.
“Yeah that where’d you get it?”
>Sunny points to a half submerged box.
“Thanks.”
>I head over to the box and grab a rig quickly putting it on.
>“There’s a box of mags filled with ammo in the box next to the dildo-butt plug thing, presumably your girlfriends.” Sunny points out.
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
>My pants get tighter thinking of Pinkie putting the hybrid dildo thing to use. I quickly move to the box of ammo and fill up my rig with Ak mags, eight in total. Short amount of time passes and me and Sunny look like tacticool oper8rs. My freedom boner is leaking glorious precum.
>I have my Ak-47 and the scissor daggers, as well as a bag of medicine we had found and a hiking bag filled with all the essentials of camping survival.
>Sunny has an FNC a kukri, a bag of explosives and her own hiking bag of essentials.
“Ready?”
>“Sure.”
“Alright let’s head out.”

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Just gonna post my remastered version of the stuff I posted yesterday. I will write something new tomorrow.

Can't find my last story post so just continue from line 742 in my pastebin.
http://pastebin.com/VCGEsx3U

~~~

>Shouldering Gratia, you exit the arsenal's stale confines and wait for its heavy door to magically reseal itself before you continue on your merry way home.
>Feels good to finally feel her weight on you again... Almost like an integral part of you was missing all this time.
>You tighten your grip on her and take a left into the hallway that leads to the waiting room and thus the main entrance of the guardhouse.
>Technically there are two other side entrances you could also use but those have probably been locked up already by the vigil.
>That's usually the first thing they do when they managed to drag their caffeine filled asses through them.
>Strictly speaking they are supposed to wait with this until night has fallen. But since doing that would cut down on their time to chat and further replace their blood with coffee they chose to just ignore this tiny detail of their job description.
>But who here isn't trying to make their job easier by skipping or antedating some unimportant crap?
>Pretty much anyone, even your superiors. So you can't blame them.
>Finally the administrative office comes into sight after a rather boring walk and you slow down to check it for the only pony who still could possibly thwart your weekend plans.
>Lets see...
>Eyyup, there she sits. Reading one of her beloved fashion magazines and snacking on a few flowers.
>Dew Drop...

>>25746732
>Looks like her chosen snack for today are daisies... But you always had trouble telling those pretty yet very delicate things apart so you can't really tell.
>Why hasn't she gone home already? Usually she leaves when the night watch arrives to indulge herself in the spa's happy hours.
>Not that you ever stalked her or something like that... But you know that the spa sisters offer quite high discounts on a few of their services after the sun has set.
>And almost double the price tag on some of their other, inherently more physical ones...
>Anyhow... What to do now though?
>...
>Seems like she is pretty engrossed in her magazine, so...
>Maybe, just maybe, if you casually walk past her and not breathe a single word, she won't notice and start bothering you.
>As if that ever worked... She pounces at every single opportunity to get on your nerves and basically lives just for these moments.
>Worth a try though. Wonders still happen from time to time, don't they?
"Here goes nothing.", you whisper to yourself and hold Gratia close to your right side in an attempt to conceal her a bit.
>Slowly but steadily you first approach her adorably decorated desk, then pass it as quietly as you can, not acknowledging the reading pony at all, and then nearly make it to the door before a sudden voice from behind you brings you to a halt.
>"Got a permission for that, Anon?"
>Fuck... So close. You were so damn close to freedom.
>Chuckling, you swing yourself around and shoot the pesky mare a quick nod, shouldering your weapon again.
>Now you have to find a way to wiggle your sorry ass out of this situation.
>And it be better believable too... She might not be the sharpest knife in the cutlery box but she isn't gullible either.
"Of course I got one. Good evening by the way."
>An annoyed grunt escapes her and she rolls her eyes, closing her magazine and resting her head on one of her hooves.

>>25746749
>Man... Even angry she's cute as a button. Its a real pity she hates your guts and probably wouldn't mind seeing them spilled on the floor.
>"Good Evening. So where is it? Show me."
"Uhm... Arctic Star didn't have time to fill one out for me, but he gave me oral permission to take Grat-... My weapon out of the armoury.", you say and draw closer to her.
>Dew Drop raises an eyebrow and looks up to you, her bright green eyes brimming over with doubt and disgust.
>"Oh, really now? Mythic Haze had one though... And signed by Arctic at that too! Why shouldn't he had time for you then?"
>Beaming you a sly smile, she stashes the bag of flowers away in her desk.
"Ehrm... You see..."
>"I hear~"
>Shit... Where are your imageboard acquired lying skills when you need them?
>She giggles and adds her other hoof to the one that already props her cute head, her smile growing wider and wider with each passing second.
>"Anon... I can understand why you would lie to me. That axe is probably the only tool in your possession you could call long and..."
>Ah, yes! How could you forget that?!
"Because of the wedding.", you interrupt the insolent mare.
>"W-What?"
"Did you already forget? Arctic went to his brother's wedding in Fillydelphia today. So he was in a hurry."
>Dew Drop stares in disbelief at you for a second or two but then shakes her head.
>"Nah. Sounds still like a lie to me. Take your lover back where she belongs or I will call the vigil, Anon."
>Thinking of a response, you groan and let Gratia slide off your still slightly hurting shoulder.
>"No!", Dew Drop yelps and flinches away from you.
>Huh? What now?
>"Please..."

>>25746763
>Did she just assume you were going to threaten or even hurt her?
>"Please... No..."
>Yeah... She did.
>You take a step back and hide the weapon behind your back, causing her to visibly relax.
>By god. You know that she despises you but you never would have thought that she thinks that low of you.
>She's even shaking a bit...
"Calm down, Dew. My shoulder just began to hurt. And yeah, it's all true. Just ask Soaring when he comes back on monday. He's going to affirm what I told you."
>No need to comfort her... She will recover herself soon enough.
>Also you should really inform Thunder of your more or less crafty lie. Not that he unintentionally gets you in a jam and possibly a cell.
>First thing you will do tomorrow morning. Given you aren't still drunk by then.
>With a shudder she regains her composure and points a hoof at you.
>"Firstly: It's Dew Drop for you!"
>From a shivering puddle of pony back to her usual self in only ten seconds flat. Impressive.
"Yeah, yeah. I forgot. Sorry, Dew Drop."
>"And secondly: Don't worry, I'm going to ask him if what you told me is true or not. And may Celestia have mercy on your soul if it isn't..."
>Sighing, you take your weapon into a comfortable grasp and show the disgruntled front desk filly with a nod that you understood.
>"Good... Now get out of my sight and take this...", she looks at Gratia, "Gruesome thing with you, before..."
>Dew stops in midsentence as her gaze falls on the axe's serrated edge, sending another, even fiercer shiver through her body.

>>25746778
>So you let it's head hang lower so Dew can't see the teeth any more that fill her mind with such an incredible sense of fear.
>Ponies in general aren't too fond of them... For reasons that are unknown to you.
>But you assume that Gratia's sawteeth trigger some kind of ancient prey instinct in them that they still seem to possess despite their apparent civility
>Funny how some things work.
"Before?"
>She tears her eyes away from Gratia and growls at you. Or whatever the pony equivalent of growling is.
>It sounded fairly cute though.
>"N-Nothing! Just leave!", she barks.
"Geez! Already on my way. Have a nice weekend, Dew Drop.", you say and turn around to do as she told you.
>The mare doesn't answer you but you can feel her looking daggers at you as you approach the door.
>And as you are halfway through it, you can her mumble something that sounded an awful lot like "Monster".
>Heh... That's a new one.
>Quietly tittering, you slam the door shut and leave your former crush behind by herself.
>Shall she think what she wants to. You don't care. Ponies called you much worse things for doing far less than accidentally scaring them.
>You take a deep breath of the crisp vespertine air and enjoy the sun's last few rays on your face before you begin to walk down the road that will eventually take you home.
>If you just didn't forget your jacket back in your office...
"Well... Fuck."
>But it's either that or confronting Dew Drop again and you don't want to particularly do the latter.
>Not until next monday that is.
>She should have cooled down a bit by then.

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Thats it. Like I said before new stuff tomorrow.
Pastebin once more for extra shilling: http://pastebin.com/VCGEsx3U

Feel free to leave feedback and critique my stuff.

>>25746709
>Meanwhile…
>A badly injured white stallion with a short black mane frantically pounds away at the door of Princess Twilight’s castle, until Twilight opens the door backed by the mane six and spike.
>“Yes?” Twilight gives the stallion a concerned look.
“My name is Arcane Stoner, Stoner for short and to be frank Equestria is boned. Royally boned. Spooky Skellingtons skull fucking your grandmothers decayed corpse, boned. I’m getting ahead of myself you see I was out in the Everfree Forest with my personally appointed guard Nightshade, she’s a bat pony. Studying the “Heart of the Everfree” when I noticed a crack in its casing, and from the crack it seems that some sort of black substance is leaking through! I fear this may mean the end of our world if we don’t find a solution soon! however before I could try to figure out the cause something slipped out from the crack and attacked me and Nightshade… Oh god I had to leave her!”
>The stallion buries his head under his hooves as he begins sobbing heavily.
>Twilight's face hardens “Spike inform the princesses of the situation and tell them to meet me and the girls there. Stoner you’ve done more than enough spike will see you to the hospital.”
“I-I can walk myself.”
>Stoner stands up.
>“Very well. Come on girls we have to go!” Twilight nods to Stoner and runs off, the mane six right behind her. Spike runs back inside to find a quill, ink and paper leaving Stoner outside of the castle, Stoner begins to laugh.
“Fools. They’ve fallen right for my trap.”

>>25746203
>>25746214
>>25746226
*Gasp* senpai noticed me...


...the world has gone mad.

Incoming Greentext...

>"Oh, Twilight," Fluttershy enters the library.
>"Yes?" Twilight asks, looking up from the book she was reading.
>"Um, I found more humans. Like Anon, but different..."
>"More? How many more?"
>"Umm, three." Fluttershy turns and calls out the door, "You can come in now..."
>Three humans, shorter than Anon and dressed in somewhat older clothes, try to enter the door at once.
>They don't fit.
>They try again.
>They still don't fit.
>"Recede!" the middle one with the bowl haircut says, and enters the library.
>The one with the shaven head gestures for the frizzy-haired one to go ahead.
>The shaven one enters last, but does not duck and knocks his head against the doorframe.
>He reels a bit, then turns and... barks... at the door frame.
>"Hello... hello... hello..." They sing.

>>25747887

>"Er, hello," Twilight replies, a little uncertainly.
>All three appear startled. "Look fellas, another talking horse," says the shaven-headed one.
>Twilight bristles. "Actually, we're ponies."
>"You heard the yellow one, didn't cha? What are you, ignorant?" the bowl-cut one demands of his companion, slapping him in the face.
>The shaven-headed one one waves his hand back and forth in front of bowl-cut, then raises his hand up in the air and barks at him.
>Bowl-cut responds by making a V with two fingers and jabbing them at shave-heads eyes.
>Shave-head blocks with his hand. "Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk," and sticks his tongue out at bowl-cut.
>Bowl-cut punches him in the chin, causing him to bite his tongue.
>Frizz-head points and laughs at this, but stops abruptly when bowl-cut eye-pokes him.
>"STOP THAT!" Twilight yells, losing patience with this quickly.
>Even Anon never acted so gracelessly in front of ponies.

>>25747896

>"You heard the lady, act like gentlemen!" Says bowl-cut.
>"Gentlemen!" Shout the other two in enthusiastic agreement. All three adopt theatrically thoughtful poses.
>At least they're quiet now.
>"My name is Twilight Sparkle."
>"Enchanted," says bowl-cut.
>"Enraptured," says frizzy-head.
>"Embalmed," says shaven-head. Bowl-cut smacks him in the back of the head.
>"Please!!" Twilight yelps, hoping to forestall another fight. "What are your names?"
>"I'm Moe," says bowl-cut.
>"I'm Larry," says frizzy-head.
>"I'm hungry," says shaven head.
>Moe slaps him in the head again. "Didn't you hear the pony? Introduce yourself!"
>Shaven-head bristles at Moe. "Why I oughtta..."
>Moe places his fists on his hips and stares down his associate. "You oughtta what?"
>Shaven-head seems to deflate. "I oughtta introduce myself. Hi, I'm Curly." He gives Twilight a little wave.
>Twilight, seizing on one thing she can make sense of, asks Fluttershy to go get Pinkie Pie to bring the humans something to eat.
>As Fluttershy leaves, Spike comes downstairs.
>"Whoa, more of them? Who're these guys?" he asks.
>"A talking lizard!" Larry exclaims.
>Spike bristles. "Dragon!"
>Moe grabs Larry's nose with one hand and smacks his hand. Larry yelps and clutches his abused nose.
>"Mind your manners," Moe admonishes him.
>Facehoof.jpg

>>25747912

>Twilight has questions and needs answers.
>"How did you get here?" she asks.
>The three humans look at each other in apparent confusion.
>They go into a huddle.
>They whisper amongst themselves.
>They come out of the huddle.
>Moe opens his mouth to speak.
>"We don't know," says Curly.
>Moe bops him in the stomach, causing him to double over.
>Moe follows up by slapping him in the head.
>"Listen you!" yelps Curly in evident irritation.
>Twilight finds herself wishing that whatever random inter-dimensional hole is causing this would dry up already.
>"Do you have to do that EVERY BUCKING TIME I ASK YOU A QUESTION?" She yells.
>She immediately blushes at her own language.
>"We could do this instead," Larry offers, launching into a soft-shoe dance and spouting nonsense words.
>"A-voo-voo-voo-voo! Razz-a-matazz..."
>Moe ends Larry's performance by stomping on his foot.
>Enough is enough. Twilight whispers into her assistant's ear.
>"Spike, go get Applejack. Quickly. Tell her to bring her lassos."
>"I'm on it!" Spike salutes and runs out the door.
>"Now, please, relax," Twilight tries to end the scuffle that has broken out. They ignore her
>More volume needed.
>"I said, relax!"
>The fight pauses, the three humans looking at her, while still prepared to strike.
>Volume at 11.
>"I SAID RELAX!"
>Not a bad imitation of the Royal Canterlot Voice.
>The three humans fall over on their backs.
>"Not that relaxed!"
>They scramble to their feet again.
>At least Twilight has their attention.
>She thinks, trying to pick words that won't result in another fight...

>>25747932

>Maybe if she indulged their curiosity.
>"So, do you have any questions for me?" Twilight asks brightly.
>"How long is a Chinaman?" asks Curly.
>Moe slaps him.
>"Does ice cream have bones?" asks Larry.
>Moe slaps him.
>"I meant," Twilight growls, "do you have any PERTINENT questions?"
>"Yeah! Where's the food? I'm still hungry..." Curly says.
>Facehoof.png
>Twilight's mane is starting to look a mess.
>"Oh, you're hungry, eh?" says Moe.
>"Yeah, I haven't had a bite all day!"
>Moe places his fists on his hips again.
>"Is that so?" Curly nods.
>Moe seizes one of Curly's hands and bites his finger.
>"Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!" Curly exclaims.
>Larry unwisely attempts to intervene.
>"Hey, leave him alone, he's only hungry."
>"Shuddup," Moe grabs a handful of Larry's frizzy hair. "We're all hungry."
>Cue Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy.
>Pinkie Pie has brought a cart-full of food with her.
>A cart full of pies.
>"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy told me someone here was hungry! I brought extra, so we could have a Welcome-To-Equestria Party!"

>>25747942

>"Oh boy, eats!" Exclaims Curly joyously.He picks up a pie.
>Moe takes it away from him and puts it back on the cart.
>"Mind your manners, we haven't been asked yet."
>"But I'm starving!'
>"Don't worry," says Pinkie Pie, "I brought plenty for everyone!"
>Moe turns around and Curly quietly picks up another pie behind his back.
>"Oh GOSH!," Pinkie exclaims, her eyes lighting up, "There's THREE of you this time?"
>"Unfortunately..." Twilight grumbles, grinding her teeth.
>"Wow, this is EXTRA-SUPER-DUPER SPECIAL then! I'm gonna go get my Welcome Wagon!"
>With that, Pinkie zips out of the library in a pink blur.
>Moe finally notices Curly nibbling on his pie.
>"Mind your manners I said,"
>He hits the pie from below, flipping it up into Curly's face.
>"Hey! I was eating that!"
>"Oh were you?" says Moe.
>"Yeah!"
>"Well here," Moe picks up a pie, "have another!" He throws the pie at Curly.
>Curly ducks.
>Pie sails cleanly over his head.
>Direct hit on Twilight Sparkle.
>Status of Twilight's jimmies: RUSTLED.
>Mane completely frizzy now.

>>25747942
>Pies
God help them little pones.

>>25747959

>"Hey, stop that," says Larry, "You're wasting the food!"
>"Oh yeah?" says Moe.
>Moe picks up another pie and goes to throw it at Larry.
>Larry covers his face with his hands and crouches down.
>Moe crouches down next to him.
>"Oh, Larry," says Moe.
>Larry uncovers his face. "Yes?"
>Moe shoves the pie into Larry's face.
>Moe stands back up.
>Curly has acquired another pie, and pushes it into Moe's face.
>Cue Rarity.
>"Darling, I heard we had some more visitors!"
>Larry throws a pie at Moe.
>Moe dodges the pie.
>Pie scores direct hit on Rarity.
>"Oh... It. Is. ON!"
>Rarity magics a pie into the air with her horn and propels it at Larry.
>Larry dodges the pie.
>Twilight Sparkle, has just finished cleaning pie out of her eyes.
>Ker-SPLAT!
>Rustling jimmies reach critical mass.
>Twilight Sparkle evolves into Rapidash...
>"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!"
>Twilight magics several pies into the air.
>Shit just got real.

>>25747970

>Pies, pies everywhere.
>The library floor is now a slippery, gooey mess.
>Discord would have been mightily proud and shed many a manly tear if he could see this.
>Applejack runs up outside the library carrying Spike on her back and three lassos.
>Pinkie Pie arrives outside the library at the same time, Welcome Wagon (patent pending) in tow.
>Utter bedlam inside the library.
>"Land sakes! What in tarnation is going on inside there sugar cube?"
>"Oh, three more humans showed up! Like Anon, only shorter. And sillier." Pinkie Pie giggles.
>"Now how am I going to get my Welcome Wagon through the door?"
>A loud crash and Twilight's frantic yelling are heard inside the library.
>"Let's go Applejack,” says Spike, “Twilight sounds pretty ticked off in there!"
>"Alright pardner," Applejack replies.
>They enter the war zone formerly known as the Ponyville Library.
>Both are instantly pied.
>Applejack wipes pie off her face.
>She grabs one of her lassos.
>"Alright, that's it! Party's over!"
>She plunges into the fray.
>In a short time, she has subdued and tied up all three of the strange humans.
>Fluttershy, having avoided being covered in pie by the simple expedient of hiding under Twilight's bed, cools Twilight off by upending a bucket of water over her.
>Twilight plops onto her rump and stares, aghast, at the gigantic mess in the library.

>>25747988

>Twilight sets her jaw, stands up and marches over to the three tied up humans.
>"I have just one thing to say to you clowns..."
>Twilight draws back one hoof and slaps all three of them in the head with one stroke.
>"Applejack, please get these knuckleheads OUT OF MY LIBRARY!!"
>"You got it Twi."
>Applejack starts to drag them to the door.
>CRASH!
>Everyone, pony and human, looks at the source of the noise.
>Pinkie Pie has brought in the Welcome Wagon by using the same (formerly-patched-up) entrance made by Tom several months ago.
>She grins like a maniac, and holds up one hoof.
>"Pinkie, NO!" cries Twilight Sparkle.
>Too late.
>Pinkie smacks a large red button on the side of her wagon.
>Wagon shudders.
>Flags wave, horns toot, music begins.
>"Welcome, welcome, welcome..."
>As the fanfare ends, cake batter suddenly bursts from every door, window and hole in the Library tree.
>Inside, five ponies, one dragon, and three humans sit in the middle of what is probably the tastiest scene of devastation ever in Equestria's history.
>Everyone, human, pony and dragon, is covered in cake batter.
>"I really should label those loading chutes..."

>>25748011

Dear Princess Celestia,

Some human customs are very, very strange. Beyond my comprehension, even. I don't think I will be able to so much as look at a pie for at least a month.

On a related note, please ask the Royal Canterlot Magical Research Academy to hurry up on that inter-dimensional spell they were working on to send Anon back home.

Don't worry, it's not for Anon. Details to follow.

Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle

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>>25748025
It's a shame that google doesn't really have any decent pictures of stooge fighter 3, maybe I should see if the game runs in windows 7. Assuming I can find the CD.

>>25743792
>Getting salty for being granted the ability to fly
Man, what a bitch.

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>>25748359
You assume much about the control anon has over his newfound floating, as well as the general rules to the floating.

>>25748430
>sick vert yo

>>25748025
I liked it

>>25746811
I'm enjoying it except...it seems like something that is supposed to be TreehuggerXAnon there very little Treehugger in it.

There is a lot of exposition into Anons past and the ponies he works with...but no reason for us to learn it at this point. Yeah its cool that Anon had a thing with a griffon who was into some kinky stuff but is that going to come up in the story anytime soon? Or the magic involving the elementals. Its cool and something interesting but it would have been better if it was put in more a bit more fluidly than you did.

It is better to briefly mention things like that and then explain them in detail through conversations later. That helps the world feel more real and removes the tedium of having to have Anon dictate his past to us through random memories.

>TL;DR
Less exposition and more plot. Gives readers a reason to stick around before you throw the backstory of the world out there. If you REALLY need to give some exposition for your world to be understood give the readers a quick rundown like starwars.

>>25748430
If zeppelins can figure it out, I'm sure Anon can think of something. Just needs a fan or whatever.

>>25748025
This seems familiar.

>>25741379
wewlad

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>>25748025

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>>25750979
Tree Hugger will make an appearance soon enough and then won't leave for quite some time. The bulk of the story is going to be devoted to her, but yeah I know what you mean.
About all the exposition... I like to give a lot of background to my characters and use otherwise boring parts like walking down a corridor or what not of the story to explain and describe it. And I think it works pretty well with the very slow pace my stories tend to be in.
I can see though why that could be unappealing to some and I'm trying to cut the exposition down a bit so it isn't too overwhelming and boring.
Thanks for the feedback, Anon. It is most appreciated.

crosspostan
>>25751288
>Be Anon in Divorcequestria
>Shortly after you arrived here you discovered these magic ponies are fond of humans
>A bit after that you discovered they REALLY like humans
>And they know bits and pieces about human culture
>Like humans tend to be monogamous
>Within a day every married pony in the city had filed for divorce
>Within a week the fighting for your affection had turned to actual fighting
>Right now you are hiding in some old mineshafts you found under their capitol
>Which you believe is still on fire
>You don't want to risk going back near the surface to check

>Dear Princess Celestia,
>Milk milk lemonade around the corner fudge is made.

>Love,
>Anonymous.

>>25752367
The special is her peeing in your mouth.

>>25751339
Yeah, I posted it in the AiE thread about three years ago. I stubled across my dusty, abandoned old pastebin recently and thought to myself, "Fuck it, why not?"

>>25753458
Always welcome friend.

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Time for some green.

http://pastebin.com/GFd5vuVn

"Hi Moonbutt."
>Luna looks up from her bowl of oatmeal, surprised to see you.
>"Wow, I didn't have to pull you out of bed today."
"Yeah, hell must have froze over."
>You look over at where Celestia normally sits.
"Speaking of which, where is she at? Celestia is always the first one here in the morning."
>Luna rolls her eyes.
>"Trying to convince me she's too sick to preside over the castle today."
"I'm not saying you're lying or she is, but did you actually check on her? I mean, usually when she's faking, she at least shows up with an act."
>Luna rises from the table, having finished breakfast.
"I suppose, let's go see what kind of dramatics she has in store today."
>You follow her up to Celestia's room, still trying to rub the sleep from your eyes.
"So, what are we doing today, Lulu? Anything special?"
>The blue mare smiles at your question.
>"I don't know, did you have anything in mind? Maybe we ought to visit Ponyville today, we haven't been there in a while."
"Sounds like a plan to me."
>Finally reaching her sister's door, Luna pushes it open.
>A form which you can only assume to be Celestia lies on the bed, covered with a blanket.
>"Now sister, show me how you are so sick that you cannot preside today."
>With a groan, the covers roll off from the top of the bed.
"Whoa."
>It's Celestia, all right.
>But rather than her normal, light mane of pastels, her mane glows with a sea of red, orange and yellow, swirling about like a storm of fire.
>"Do you believe me now, Luna?"
>Celestia's voice comes out rather raspy, as it devolves into a coughing fit.
>With every cough and hack, her mane pulses, looking like bursts of flame.
"Uh, what's... what's with the-"
>"Solar flares."
"That's an illness here?"
>Luna's face shows her empathy for Tia as she turns to you.
>"It is for my sister. You see, we are tied so close to the heavenly bodies we control, their afflictions tend to transfer to us."

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>>25753649

>Celestia lays her head back down on the bed, her coughing subsided for now.
>"I'm sorry, Luna. I wish I was faking."
>"You have no need to be sorry, sister. I will sit on the throne today. Just try to get some rest."
>Well, Ponyville will have to wait for another day.
>"I suppose I should get ready. Anonymous, I'm sorry we cannot visit with our friends today."
"It's fine. I can stay with Celestia today and help her get anything she needs, if she wants. Keep her company."
>You turn to the white alicorn, flashing her a smile.
>Her tired expression lights up at the idea, as she returns the smile.
>"I would like that very much, Anon. Thank you."
>As you turn around, Luna's lips greet yours.
>"You are too kind, Anonymous. I'll check up on the both of you from time to time."
"Have fun at work, Lulu."
>Her smile turns into a sly grin.
>"Well, you *were* too kind."

>Celestia falls asleep not long after you return from fetching a few books.
>You look up every time you turn the page, just keeping an eye on her.
>Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like she can get into a sound sleep, as the alicorn tosses and turns in bed.
>It's miserable being sick.
>While her mane looks like a massive fireball, it is not any hotter than normal.
>It took some convincing from Celestia for you to check her temperature.
>She doesn't have a high fever, but it's a fever nonetheless.
>As far as you can tell, aside from her change of appearance, this sickness is about the same as the normal flu.
>Her restless sleep continues, as you hear her mumbling something.
>You feel torn, wanting to help her in the apparent dream she's having, but also wishing to respect her privacy.
>Before you can mull it over, Tia snaps awake, jolting upward and panting.
>You toss your book down and hurry over to her bed.
"Whoa, relax. You're fine, it was a dream."

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>>25753665

>Still somewhat recovering from the haze of sleep, it takes Celestia a moment before she recognizes where she is, her breathing slowly returning to normal.
>While she regains her senses, you head to her private bathroom, grabbing a small towel and soaking it in cool water.
>As you head back into her bedroom, Celestia has finally calmed herself, resting her head back down on the pillow.
>You can practically feel the heat radiating from her as you place the towel upon her forehead.
>"Thank you, Anon."
"Don't mention it. You were starting to worry the hell out of me."
>"It was not exactly an enjoyable experience for me, either. I suppose the fever may have something to do with that convoluted dream."
"You... want to talk about it?"
>A short coughing fit from Celestia is your immediate response, her mane lighting up the room with each pulse.
>"Sorry. But I'm fine, Anon, it's not a big deal."
"Alright. I don't suppose you feel any better at all after some rest?"
>She gives you a tired laugh.
>"Now that's just wishful thinking."
"Just trying to stay positive."
>"Speaking of staying positive, I wanted to ask you about how you've handled the last few weeks."
"I'm assuming you're talking about my miraculous return."
>"Not just that, I'm also referring to the fact it's quite clear you share the same gift of immortality my sister and I possess. That's a lot for somepony to digest, I would imagine."
"It's not something I have really considered, to be honest with you."
>"You haven't thought about it at all?"
"No, what I mean is, I understand it is a big deal, but I've always tried to live my life one day at a time. Forever is a long time, so why worry about the future? I don't intend on changing that way of thinking."
>She smiles.
>"Nor should you. It is a good way to think about it."
"It also means I have to deal with the two of you forever."
>Tia reaches up with a hoof and pokes you in the ribs.
"Sorry, merely thinking out loud."
>"Why do you do that?"

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>>25753679

"What, think out loud?"
>She shakes her head.
>"No. I mean, why do you seem to always avoid compliments?"
>Her question catches you off-guard.
"I don't.... do I?"
>"How is it going in here?"
>Luna waltzes into the room.
>"Sister, good! Luna, doesn't Anonymous try to avoid compliments, or have some sort of smart reply to them?"
"Hey, wait a minute here. I'm supposed to be taking care of you, not listening to you point out my flaws."
>"She is right, Anon. Why is that?"
>You can feel the both of them staring you down as you try to come up with an answer.
"I don't know. I've just always done that."
>Celestia speaks up.
>"Do you not believe ponies are serious when they compliment you?"
"What? No!"
>"Are you afraid of being considered a good pony... er, person?"
"NO! And aren't you supposed to be sitting your rear on the throne?"
>"I am on lunch break."
"Luna, it's 10 am."
>"Brunch break, then."
"Now you're just making up your own rules."
>Luna bats her eyelashes.
>"Have you forgotten I am one of the princesses of Equestria? It's my duty to make rules."
"I haven't forgotten. It's probably why you're such a brat."
>Luna tackles you to your back on Celestia's bed, laying on top of you.
>"I'm not getting off you until you tell us why you don't like compliments."
>You struggle in vain as the two sisters giggle.
"Look, I really don't know. It's not something I'm used to hearing, I guess."
>Both of them suddenly quiet down, exchanging confused glances.
>"Not used to it? Did poni- er, people, not compliment each other in your world?"
>You shrug your shoulders as best you can.
"I mean, from time to time, I suppose. Most people just go about their day as quick as possible, not really paying attention."
>The sisters seem a bit troubled by your response.
"Is it really a big deal?"
>Luna rubs her chin.
>"No, I suppose it isn't. It is something we can work on in the future."
"Ugh, wonderful."
>She smooches your forehead, before crawling off you and the bed.

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>>25753692

>"I'm afraid I've been up here longer than I anticipated. Just wanted to check how the two of you were doing."
"We're still here. She's still sick as a dog."
>As if on cue, Celestia goes through another coughing fit, as Luna cringes.
>"So it would seem. I will check back on you two later."
"Bye, Moonbutt."
>Luna teases you by sashaying out of the room.
>"My, do you two need a moment?"
>You turn to Celestia, her face twisted into a mischievous grin.
"You. Less talk, more sleep."
>"Alright, doctor."

>"What are you reading, by the way?"
>As the clock hits three, you and Celestia hunker over bowls of tomato soup in her room.
>She seems to be a bit better, as not only has her fever dropped, but the fire in her mane has simmered down somewhat.
"Not much. Just some stuff on your history."
>She sets her empty bowl down on her nightstand, focusing all her attention on you.
>"Do you enjoy history?"
>You nod.
"Yeah, I've always had an interest in events of the past. I felt the need to explore Equestria's history, so I have at least some idea of the past here."
>"Don't be afraid to ask me any questions you may have. I have seen it all."
"I guess I never thought of asking you because I don't want to make you feel... old."
>The calm quiet is instantly interrupted by a hearty chuckle from the solar princess.
>"Anonymous, if I haven't gotten over how old I am, I never will. I'm only as old as I let myself feel."
>You finish up your own soup, setting the bowl on the desk.
"Okay, point taken. I'm just trying to be mindful."
>Celestia quiets down, her benevolent smile lighting up the room.
>"I must ask, why are you spending the day up here with me? It is a beautiful day out, and I have servants that can attend to me."
>You shrug your shoulders in response.
"I guess I feel like I should do something to repay you."
>Tia tilts her head, sitting up in bed.
>"Repay me? For what, exactly?"

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>>25753708

"Keeping me here in the castle, feeding me, making sure I'm not changeling food, all that for free. I really haven't done much to help out, so I figured keeping you company on a day you aren't up to par is at least something."
>"Oh, Anonymous. Do you really think we would have you here if we didn't want you? Obviously Luna is ecstatic you're living with us, but this has been a wonderful experience for me as well."
>Curiosity gets the best of you.
"How so?"
>"I think you underestimate how much of an effect you have on others. I know Luna has mentioned it before, but you make us feel... like everypony else. You don't let our royalty blind you, you see past it. And it gives us a chance to just be who we are around somepony else, without worrying about keeping up a regal visage."
>If it was even possible, her smile grows even wider.
>"No, Anon, you don't owe us anything. If there is one silver lining in this whole mess with the changelings, it's that I've gotten to know you like my sister has."
>She mulls over her words, before smirking.
>"Well, maybe not knowing you as 'intimately' as my sister."
"Way to make this heartfelt conversation awkward."
>"Yes, she has a gift for that."
>You jump a bit as Luna steps through the doorway.
"Could you at least knock? Or wear a bell?"
>"But it's fun startling you."
>The night princess walks up and nuzzles you, before turning to Celestia, who is still sitting upright.
>"You are looking better, sis."
>"Yes, I'm getting there, thanks to the doctor."
>She winks at you.
"Speaking of feeling better, you said what the moon is doing can affect you just like Celestia and solar flares. What can it do to you?"
>Celestia seems eager to speak up.
>"During a harvest moon, Luna's ass gets really big. And during a blood moon, she thirsts for the blood of ponies."
>Luna picks up a pillow and flings it at her sister, who manages to dodge it.
>"Don't listen to her. But a blood moon tend to leave me feeling rather ill, yes."

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>>25753723

"So I don't have a vampiric Luna to look forward to the next blood moon? How disappointing."
>"During a blue moon she turns blue."
>Before either of you say anything, Celestia catches herself.
>"Cut me some slack, I'm ill."
"Whatever. And Luna, you're playing hooky again?"
>She snorts.
>From underneath her wing, Luna pulls out a piece of parchment, levitating it over to her sister.
>"I did not just come to see how you were doing. This was requested to be signed by you and ONLY you."
>Tia peruses the paper, rolling her eyes.
>"Fleur-De-Lis, of course. Luna, when are you going to make good with her?"
>Luna stomps a hoof down, making you jump a bit.
>"Me?! Pardon me sister, but from what I remember, it is SHE who holds a grudge against ME!"
>The solar princess leans back, as if Luna's voice is on the verge of carrying her away.
>"Take it easy sister, I was only joking."
>Luna takes a deep breath and sits on her haunches, as Celestia quickly signs the paper and hands it back over to her.
>Taking a quick look at it, she tucks it back under her wing.
>"I should have just told her to come back tomorrow when you would be present."
>"That's if I'm feeling well enough, Luna."
>The night princess shakes her head fervently in defiance.
>"Oh no, there is no 'if.' I am not going to preside over the kingdom five days in a row."
>Celestia starts to answer, before being interrupted by a coughing fit.
>After a moment, she regains her composure.
>"Lulu, what is the difference? Before we went to this schedule, you were presiding every night."
>Sitting upright, the blue mare crosses her forelegs.
>"And since that time, you've been taking a lot of vacations."
>"Well, you got a thousand year vacation, so I don't want to hear it."
>Wow.
>Taken aback, Luna slowly rises to her hooves.
>"Anonymous?"
"Luna?"
>"Leave the room. I don't want any witnesses while I kill my sister."
>Before you respond, Luna leaps onto her sister, batting at her with her outstretched wings.

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>>25753740

>Celestia's laughter fills the room, before being interrupted by another hacking fit.
>Her ears drooped and face lined with concern, Luna stops her rough-housing, climbing off the bed.
>"Are you alright, Tia? I'm sorry."
>"It's... it's fine Luna. I guess laughter isn't always the best medicine."
>"Your Highness?"
>You turn your head to see one of the guards at the doorway, attention focused on Luna.
>"Yes, I will be right there."
>The guard nods, disappearing into the hallway.
>"I suppose I've been up here too long. Anon, look after her."
>She leans in, giving you a quick smooch before trotting out of the room at a hurried pace.
>Your attention focuses on the solar princess, who lets out a drawn out yawn as she lays back down.
"I never thought I'd hear either of you make a joke about... that."
>"Well, I suppose it shows we've finally moved on."
"Just like that?"
>You snap your fingers, to emphasize your point.
>Celestia tilts her head, seeming to put her answer together carefully before responding.
>"No, what happened between me and my sister will never just go away, Anon. But, we've acknowledged that, we're willing to accept it happened. We both made mistakes. Luna and I sat down and had a long discussion after we all met and had words with Nightmare Moon in the dreamscape meeting a few months ago. And it just..... I don't think either of us had really been willing to actually look back and truly understand what we did, to each other."
>Sitting down on the side of her bed, you can't help but find her answer odd.
"I don't mean to be obtuse here, but she tried to kill you, and you did what you had to do to save yourself and Equestria. Where exactly did you go wrong?"
>A chuckle erupts from the mare.

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>>25753749

>"Well, using the Elements of Harmony without instructions or a clue of what I was doing, for starters. It was never my intention to imprison her for anywhere near as long as I did. But I never realized, how I wasn't ever looking at what Luna wanted, before any of that."
>She stares off into space.
>"Luna never wanted to rule Equestria. I was so busy trying to keep this land from destroying itself back then, I never saw that. I never even asked her. But she being the younger one, she just followed her older sibling, waiting for things to settle down to speak up."
"And they never did?"
>She flashes a weary smile.
>"Has it been quiet while you've been here?"
"Good point."
>"So yes, Anonymous, what she did was wrong. But I was wrong, as well. It's just taken a long time to see that."
>Celly's eyes drift close.
"Get some sleep, sicky. We can talk more later."
>"I'm not going to argue."

>You hear Luna humming down the hallway, giving you a good indication of how her sister is doing.
>Her bright eyes and big grin greet you as you look up at the doorway.
"I'm guessing Tia's well enough for us to visit Ponyville tomorrow."
>"Your guess would be correct. As long as she doesn't relapse during the night, of course."
"Sounds like I did a good job playing doctor today."
>Luna flops down of the bed as you toss away the book your were reading, scratching her ears.
>"Well, a good foalsitter, anyways. Did you just lounge around in her room all day?"
"Yeah. I mean, I accomplished a lot of reading, and we talked a bit too. When she wasn't sleeping, of course."
>The mare shakes her head as she takes off her slippers.
>"I swear Anonymous, with the amount of reading the two of you do, I'd be willing to believe you and Twilight Sparkle are related."
"I'm not that much of a nerd."
>"You don't think you are."
>Raising a finger, you boop her on the nose.
"Sorry, I just like being informed on the past and present of this place."

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>>25753758

>"Then why not ask me?"
>You can't help but smile.
"Funny, your sis said the same thing. I guess the two of you can tutor me."
>Her face gets mischievous.
>"Only I am allowed to give you 'private' tutoring sessions."
"Such a dirty mind for a princess."
>She giggles as you cuddle with her.

http://pastebin.com/u/AutoPony

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>>25753773
Yisssss. Sadly this setting does not have Luna with a big butt but I can live with that.

>>25753773
This story. I am glad it has updated.

>>25753800
Moonbutt a best.

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>>25754561
>>25753800
Moonbeams go home. Sunrays always.

>>25754601
To be honest I like princess butts in general. Even Twilight's pancake ass.

>>25754625
NERD BUTT WORST BUTT

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>>25754601
Hey I'm a sunfaggot but I like those moons too.

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>>25752367
>It was that time of year again.
>The Ponyville fundraiser event.
>Apparently just straight up donating money was too simple, so ponies would set up little stalls to sell something, with the money going to whatever it was they were trying to fund.
>Kissing booths were particularly popular, probably because there isn't much effort involved.
>This year was no exception.
>You start your stroll, taking in the sights.
>Kissing booth, kissing booth, kissing booth, tasteful summer hat made right before your eyes (and presented to you with a kiss) booth.
>Spike desperately trying to get more bits from Twilight while holding his tower of tasteful summer hats steady with one claw.
>A small crowd of ponies around a booth staffed by Princess Celestia.
>Well that's new.
>As you got closer to the new addition, you can hear ponies talking about it.
>"I wonder what the special is."
>"She's hardly had anypony brave enough to get even a kiss, we'll probably never find out."
>This won't do at all.
>Determination welling up within you, you stride purposefully to Celestia's booth, and start counting out your bits.
>A hush descends over the town as everyone stops to watch you.
>Celestia's eyes light up as you count out your tenth bit, and slap them down on her booth.
"I would like ten kisses please."
Her face falls instantly, and you can hear the crowd's disappointment behind you.
Once the tension has been suitably ruined, you drop the bag with the rest of your bits next to your first ten.
"And three specials."
That gets you the reaction you were hoping for.
Hopefully the special turns out to be nice.

>>25754810
Continue.

>>25754810
>Hopefully the special turns out to be nice.

"Do you like m-m-m-m-bananas?"

>>25754810
This special better be a motherfucking tummy rub

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>>25755035
>Princess Celestia will never rub your tummy
just kill me now

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>>25755062
It's awful.

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>>25755092
that chest needs to be more fuzzy

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>"So that was three specials, right?"

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>>25755233

>>25746226
Come back ;_;

>>25746203
>"YOU'RE SO BIG!"
Cute.

>"Yeah. If you eat all your greens, then I'm sure you'll grow just as big as me. Maybe taller."
Even cuter.

>She bites your hand playfully.
Oh, jesus. Here comes my diabetes.

>>25746214
>She tries to bite into your leg but only gets the pants. Still, the entire scene of a little filly clutching to your leg and tearing away like some rabid dog is a little distressing.
Fuck, I shouldn't kek here.

>"Look after your sister for me and make sure she's feeling better. If there's anything I can do to help, let me know."
Nicely played.

>>25746226
>You look over to see Maud had climb up the back of the chair and is now slouching over on both the top of the chair and your shoulder while she stares deeply at the book.
Awww!

>"It's a lot of responsibility," she sighs.
Kek.

>"That'd kind of be like calling you an ape."
Kek.

>"Letting me have a pet. I'm sure if they think you think it's a good idea, they'll be okay with it. You don't have to if you don't want to though."
Oh, dear gods, please, continue this ride.

>>25746811
Hi, still haven't read, sorry. Busy like hell.

>>25753501
I want to _pet sunbutt.

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>>25756106
Describe further.

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We take from our regularly scheduled Celestia and Cadance posts to post about blue fast.

pastebin: http://pastebin.com/Agiiu69J
prose: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/298089/dash-tries-to-win-your-heart (live on the 21st or some shit)

>"B-but, Anon. We shouldn't."
"Come on. You know you want to."
>"What would the others think?"
"They'll never know. Come on, Dash."
>"W-well. Okay, but we'll have to be quick."
"That's the spirit. Now then, on the count of three."
>Dash took a deep breath and steadied her nerves.
"One..."
>A bead of sweat formed on your brow.
"Two..."
>Dash took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"Three!"
>The two of you leaped up from behind a snow barrier and began tossing snow as hard as you could at the unsuspecting dragon.
>Spike turned with wide eyes, holding his delicately made hot cocoa with trembling hands.
>The ball collides with his forehead, catching him off balance and tossing the drink into the air.
>The baby dragon falls to the ground slowly, screaming for the loss of his cherished treat.
>The two of you dipped back down behind the snow barricade, trying desperately to contain fits of laughter.
>"Oh COME ON! Three times?! This is getting old guys. I'm running out of chocolate," he calls out to his assailants.
"Oh god. That's priceless."
>"You nailed him in the forehead!"
>You dust some snow off your shoulders and act casual.
"Oh, well, you know. I'm just good at some things."
>Rainbow laughs and rises to her hooves.
>"Well, I think we've probably tortured Spike enough for one day."
>You simply stare at her blankly.
>"What?"
"Do we haaave to stop?"
>Dash glares at you angrily.
>Oh well.
>It was fun while it lasted.
"Fine, fine. Then what should we do next? I've got the day off since it's the day before Hearth's Warming Eve."
>"You too?" Rainbow asks.
"Yeah, I mean. Apples are kinda hard to grow in the snow, so I've just been doing maintenance around the Apple's farm during the winter."
>"Oh! I see, so-"
1/10

>>25756340
"Wait a minute," you say interrupting her. "If you work the weather, and it's snowing right now..."
>You hold out your hand to look at the gently falling flakes that were collecting on your coat and scarf.
>The whole town of Ponyville had a few inches of white flakes that turned the whole landscape into a winter wonderland.
"Then who's controlling the weather?" you ask.
>"Oh! That's easy. We have special clouds at this time of year that last for a few days. They always produce just enough snow to ensure that we have a white Hearth's Warming Eve and then they disappear. Until then, we're kinda just on call in case one gets out of hand."
"Oh. I see. Huh," you say, staring at the clouds. "That's interesting, we never had anything like that on Earth."
>"Really?" she asks. "Sounds like Earth was a pretty boring place. N-no offense."
"Nah. None taken. It honestly was a really boring place."
>"Is that why you never talk about it?" she asks.
>With a sigh, you shake your head.
"Anyway. What are you doing today?" you ask.
>"Nothin really. I was going to see if you wanted to... well. Hang out?" she asks.
"Oh! Yeah! Sure. That'd be awesome. I just got one errand to make if you don't mind. I gotta swing by the Apples and give AJ her gift. I got everyone else but her and you done."
>Rainbow's eyes widen and a smile curls on her face.
>"You got me a gift?" she asks sheepishly.
"Well, yeah. Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?"
>She lets out a nervous chuckle and shakes her head.
>"I-I dunno. It just took me off guard is all. I got you something too."
"Really?" you ask.
>Awww yeah.
>Free stuff.
>Your favorite kind of stuff.
>However, your mind wandered to the two gifts that sat under your tree at home.
>It wasn't really a -Christmas- tree per-se, because Christmas didn't exist in Equestria.
>Even decorating trees wasn't a very common practice, while there was still some holiday over-lap from Earth.
2/10

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>>25756355
>So, your tree is actually more of a potted plant with party streamers on it.
>Nailed it.
>One was wrapped in a bright, vivid orange, and the other in a light-cyan wrapping paper.
>You could make some sort of comment about trying to sync it up with the color of their fur, as a kind gesture, but it was honestly the only way you could tell apart who was getting which gift.
>And the paper was on sale at the store.
>Because all of the holiday paper sold out.
>BUT! It's still special.
>You kinda hoped that Dash would like her gift, but you were more nervous about Applejack's.
>It wasn't particularly cheap, but it seemed like her style.
>More than you spent on anypony else this year, at least.
>Rising to your feet, you stretch and take a deep breath of the cool winter air.
"Hey, do you want some hot chocolate or something? My place isn't far from here."
>Dash's lights up and her wings pop out.
>"That sounds nice. Do ya wanna exchange gifts at the same time?" she asks.
>You eye her curiously.
"Uhh, wouldn't you have to run home to grab your gift?"
>"Oh! Right! Start counting."
"Wha-"
>And in a burst of rainbow light, Rainbow is gone.
"Oh. Right."
>Well, okay.
>At least Dash is pretty-
>And before you could finish your thought, she stops dead in front of you, nearly leaving skid marks in the snow.
>"Time! What was that?" she asks excitedly, setting a present on the ground.
"Uhhh."
>You look down at an empty wrist.
"Four seconds?"
>She grunts, wearing an expression of frustration.
>"I could have done way better than that. I need to stop taking so many naps."
>Turning towards your house, you chuckle.
"You should probably not do that in general. You'll just be awake all night. Then what? The only fun things you can do at night are going on walks and snooping on other ponies sleeping?"
>Rainbow remains silent as you look straight ahead on the path.
>"Uh... R-right! And that would be bad! To do! That is. Because night is for sleeping."
3/10

>>25756368
>You wear a devilish smile and look back at her.
"Heh, well, not ALWAYS, but, that's a different topic."
>Redness fills Dash's cheeks as she nervously chuckles.
>"Y-yeah! Good one."
>Still got it, Anon.
>You better pick up the pace though.
>If Rainbow's cheeks are getting red, it's probably because it's too cold outside.
>Naturally, you pickup the pace, wanting to get home.
>Plus, the hot cocoa sounds really good.
>Glancing over your shoulder at the pegasus who has to slow herself down to keep with your pace, you notice that she looks pretty excited.
>For your cocoa, she should be.
>The secret is just a little bit of cinnamon sugar, but of course, nopony will ever know that.
>Wait.
>She isn't excited about your gift is she?
>Cause, it's really nothing too special.
>Plus, it's kinda cheap.
>You just thought it might be something she'd like.
>Heck. It might even be too girly for her.
>It's hard to tell sometimes.
>One moment, she can be all "Look at me, I'm awesome."
>And the next, she'll be sitting down next to you, listening to you talk when you're down or having friendly advice.
>She's such an amazing friend.
>Once you hit the front door, you open it for her and follow her inside.
>Taking off your snow covered coat and scarf, Rainbow heads over to scrutinize your Christmas tree.
>You head over to it and pick up the blue package.
>"Uhm, Anon?"
"Yeah?"
>"I'm kinda scared to ask... but did the plant do something wrong? Or something?" she asks.
"Uh, no."
>"Then, why are you punishing it?" she asks.
"Well, back on Earth... there was this holiday called Christmas, and I mean... it was basically Hearth's Warming Eve, but slightly different. We'd take pine trees and put ornaments and lights on them to make it all dressed up."
>Rainbow looks from the plant, then to you, then back to the plant.
>"You... You know that's not a pine tree, right?"
"Yeah."
>"Then why-"
"This may shock you Dash, but I'm not strong enough to carry a whole tree by myself."
4/10

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>>25756376
>Rainbow looks out into your front lawn.
>"What about the tree out there?"
>Moving to her, you look out your front window to the various trees that dot the more remote part of Ponyville that you live in.
"Well, I mean, the whole "Land" thing is confusing, and I don't want to make Fluttershy or some animal near the Everfree mad. So, I figured it was too much work."
>"Oh," she says.
"Anyway! Did you want to open your gift?"
>Dash turned back to you, nodding with a wide smile as you grabbed the small blue container.
"Well, it's not really much, but I hope you like it," you said, handing the package to Dash as she set her's down. "Happy Hearth's Warming."
>A dorky grin crept on her face as she carefully looked for the side of the wrapping and tried to begin by undoing it carefully.
>Then, in excitement, she tore the wrappings off.
>Inside was a tiny box with a light lid.
>She lets out a tiny, almost inaudible gasp and just stares at the box.
>"A-anon. You shouldn't..."
"Open it," you say with a smile.
>She looks up at you with a look you couldn't recognize and opens the tiny lid with apprehension.
>Then, confusion washes over her face.
>She pulls out a small bracelet that you created in your free time.
>The bracelet was kinda thick, but carefully braided using a strand of yarn from each color of the rainbow.
>"Anon..."
"It's a bracelet. I, uh. Made it myself," you say with a smile.
>She looks down at it and back to you.
"It stretches a little. So it should be able to go on your hoof."
>She takes it and places it on her front right hoof.
>Dash examines it carefully with a wide smile.
>"Anon... This is..."
"And look!" you add, pulling up your pant leg. "We match."
>Sure enough, wrapped around your ankle is a bracelet of all the same colors, but smaller to fit your ankle.
>Truth be told, it was a botched attempt at making hers, but she didn't have to know that.
>"Oh my gosh... Anon," she says. "Why did you do this?"
5/10

>>25756391
>She looks up at you with a faint glimmer of hope in her eyes.
>You smile and shrug.
"Well, you know, you're a cool pony. You deserve nice things. I know how to make these silly bracelets and just thought. Well, why not? I kinda considered it a risky cause you don't wear jewelery, but still-"
>"N-No!" she quickly interjected. "I love it. It's... really nice, and heartfelt."
>She looks down at your gift and then to you.
>"Oh, uhm. You know. Uh. Maybe you shouldn't open your gift yet," she sputters, grabbing her gift.
"Wait, what?"
>"Uh, yeah. I mean, you got me something so nice that... well, I feel really out done."
"Psh. Are you kidding me? I didn't even really work that hard on it."
>"But still, look at all the time and effort," she says, looking at all the weaves.
"Oh, come on. This is nothin. I'm sure you probably outdid me."
>Dash looks hesitantly down at her shoddily wrapped gift in Rainbow paper.
>"Will you promise not to laugh?" she asks.
"Of course," you add.
>She sighs, grabbing the gift and handing it to you.
>"Just... uhm. Remember, you promised."
>Tearing off the paper, you look down at a simple, brown cardboard box.
>Opening the flaps on top, you pull out a piece of Rainbow cloth that keeps going.
>And going.
>And going.
"Oh my god, it's a new scarf!" you exclaim.
>It looks like it was knit carefully with some high quality wool.
>Which is surprising, because this doesn't look like Rarity's work, but you'd imagine she'd be the only person to get wool like this.
>"Do you like it?" she asks, looking away.
>You toss it around your neck, and sure enough, it's already warm, heavy, but not too scratchy.
"I love it."
>Rainbow smiles, her ears perk and wings relax a little bit.
>"Really?" she asks.
"Yeah! Who made it?" you ask. "Was it Rarity? Because it's really well done."
>"Well, I mean. She may have taught me a few things, but..."
>You turn to her in shock.
"You made this?" you ask.
>"U-uhm. Yeah," she said.
6/10

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>>25756408
>You smile and kneel down beside her.
"This is a really awesome, thoughtful gift, Dash."
>You wrap your arms around her and she lets out a tiny 'eep'.
>But, after a moment, she leans her head into your shoulder and wraps her wings around you.
>Letting go, she has a dazed look on her face and you stand up and stretch.
"Hey, did you still want to hang out today?" you ask. "I'm sure we can get a movie or something goin. I just gotta run that errand."
>"Y-yeah. I'd like that," she says.
"Sure thing. Don't go too far," you say, stopping at your tree to grab AJ's present.
>Heading to the door, you grab your coat and head out the door wearing your new scarf and package in hand.
>You set off at a jog, heart leaping through your chest.
>Oh god.
>Oh god.
>This is happening.
>You are going to give AJ your gift.
>Maybe she'll finally see how you feel about her.
>A dorky grin forms on your face as you turn towards the farm.
>They're probably doing family stuff, but you'll only be a moment.
>Once she opens it, heck you might even be able to ask her on a date.
>Your stomach turns over at the thought.
>Okay, Anon.
>One step at a time, no need to get too hasty.
>You run through the gates of the farm and butterflies form in your stomach.
>What if she doesn't like it?
>Relax, Anon.
>Of course she'll like it.
>It'll be fine.
>Deep breaths.
>The farmhouse approaches in the distance, so you slow down to prepare yourself.
"Hey, AJ. I got you a gift for Hearth's Warming. Here. I hope you like it," you say under your breath.
>You hold the gift in front of you mechanically, like a forklift.
>Just relax, Anon.
>You can do this.
>Raising your hand to the door of their home, you can hear the hustle and bustle of the family.
>"How's dinner going, Granny?"
>"Aaaalmost ready!"
>"Applebloom, are you done with those decorations yet?"
>"Ah was supposed to decorate?"
>"What in tarna- Big Mac! Can you help Applebloom when you're done getting boxes from the attic?"
7/10

>>25756434
>"Eeyup!"
>Okay.
>Okay.
>You can do this.
>Closing your eyes, you wack the door three times.
>There's no going back now.
>You take a deep breath and wait for it all to end.
>"Ah'll get it!"
>The door opens, to her.
>Her signature brown stetson.
>Her glorious freckled face.
>Her luscious mane.
>Suddenly, the words are lost in your throat.
>"Heya, Anon. Uh, right now is kinda a bad time. Did you need something?" Applejack asks politely.
>You look down at the box and hold it out.
"I got you a thing. For Christmas. Erm- Hearth's Warming," you stutter.
>"Oh! Uh. Thanks... I guess. I'm afraid I really didn't get you anything though. I dunno how comfortable I am accepting this."
"Here," you say, thrusting it in her hooves. "It's yours. Open it."
>She looks down at the box as Applebloom walks around a corner, tangled in lights.
>Applejack tears off the orange wrapping to find a similar white box.
>She looks down at the box for a moment and looks up at you.
>You open your mouth to speak, but opt to nod instead.
>Applejack uncomfortably opens the lid and closes her eyes.
>"Anon."
"What?" you ask.
>"I really don't think I can accept this."
"Why not?"
>"Well, for one, this is way too expensive."
"No it wasn't! It was on sale."
>It wasn't on sale.
"And, I mean, while the Apple pendant is nice and all," she says, critiquing it. "I don't really wear jewelery. I mean. I'll probably never wear it."
>You find yourself short of words as you look away from her.
>She looks at you with concern, then looks back to her sister.
>"Well, I mean. If you want me to have it, I'll take it. But, it just doesn't really seem right."
"Yeah. I, uh. Should have realized. Sorry. Just have it. I'll. Uh. I'll talk to you later."
>You turn on the spot and power walk away into the cold.
>The sun quickly begins to set on the horizon as AJ called out to you, but you dug yourself into your scarf and the words were lost on you.
>Stupid Anon.
>Stupid, stupid, stupid.
8/10

>>25756451
>Of course.
>Of fucking course.
>You knew this was a bad idea.
>You just knew it.
>Maybe you can just watch a movie with Dash and get your mind off things.
>You'll have to think of some other way to win AJ's heart.
>Who knows, maybe you should just give up.
>What's the point?
>You don't really deserve a mare like that.
>Somepony who's caring, smart, competitive, athletic, honest and loyal.
>You close your eyes, following the path that you have memorized back home.
>But, as you get closer to home, light assaults your eyes.
>That's weird.
>Why is there light?
>You open your eyes, and sure enough, you're close to home, however, there's a new light source you didn't expect.
>The tree in your yard.
>From a long extension cord that went from your house all the way to the tree, a blue pegasus was hovering in the air, covering the tree with white holiday lights.
>You walk up to the old pine tre, covered in white snow and gentle lights, your jaw slightly open.
"Wow..." you mutter.
>Rainbow jumps, and drops the rest of her lights.
>"Oh! You're back. I didn't expect you so soon," she replied with a chuckle.
"It looks... just like home."
>"Really?" she asked. "That's what I was hoping. You know. Have a way to be a little more like Earth and Christmas."
>You smile, walking up to the tree and holding a light between your fingers.
"Well, you nailed it."
>You look up to her and she hovers down to stand beside you.
>A moment of silence fell between the two of you as the snow gently fell.
>All you did was look up at the Christmas tree and beam.
>"Merry Christmas, Anon," Rainbow said.
"Merry Christmas, Dash."
>You put a hand on the top of her head and ruffle her mane a bit.
>She remains quiet, not seeming to mind.
"Hey, how does cocoa and a movie sound?" you ask.
>She smiles, turning towards your home.
>"Sounds cool to me."

----

>Rainbow Dash lies in her bed, staring at the ceiling of her room, watching the clock turn from 12:59 to 1:00 AM.
9/10

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>>25756465
>The snow still gently falls outside as she stares at the bracelet on her hoof.
>The room is completely silent, as she lies still and alone, remembering the awesome time that she spent today with Anon.
>She closes her eyes, grabbing one of her extra pillows and pulling it in close to her.
>The pegasus sighs, clutching the pillow tightly and resting her head on top of it.
>"Just pretend..." she mutters.
>She keeps her eyes closed, trying to clear her mind of the nagging thoughts that keep her awake.
>The imaginary scenarios.
>The what-ifs.
>The things that could have been said differently.
>But it's fruitless.
>The thoughts might as well be minor kicks to the butterflies in her stomach.
>It hurt to think.
>She rolls onto her back and stares at the ceiling again, trying to find the answers etched in the ceiling's molding.
>She groans under her breath, slowly building up into a roar.
>"WHY IS HE SO DUMB?!"
10/10


I'll be the first to say this coulda been a lot better, but I thought this would be fun to write. And it was. I didn't put a lot into it and it probably shows. I hope someone enjoyed it. Something You'd Regret's Finale and Epilogue are done, and I'm just editing now. Expect those something in the middle of the coming week.

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Cool. Thanks.

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>>25756516
>hügen-dash
Every fucking time.

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>>25756340
>blue fast
I believe you mean blue cunt

...to whoever give this to me as a prompt when I was last drunk.
I hate you.
I hate you so much.


>It has been three weeks since you first arrived in Ponyville.
>All in all, things have been great and you've been pretty happy, but right now you're a little uneasy. You see, Fluttershy is giving you that look again. It’s that same one she gives her pets when she is concerned, wants to say something, but is too ashamed or shy.
>Usually you find it endearing. Like she’s a legless puppy who has long since realized it’s not able to play with the other puppies, but internally still wants to.
>But now that she’s been turning this gaze on you over the past week, you’re beginning to find it less and less charming.
>What’s more, it always seems to happen when you come back from your…er…necessary excursions. You know it’s probably weird to her that you’re always ducking into side rooms and excusing yourself but you’re really not quite sure how to go about things involving your necessary bodily functions. And you're certainly not willing to tell her what you're actually doing.
>You lock eyes with Fluttershy, and she winces, obviously uncomfortable.
>Ok. From that expression, it actually probably does have something to do with your secretive potty habits, or at least your sudden absences.
“C-can I help you?” you stutter out.
>She looks as if you’ve struck her.
“W-well,” she says, instantly looking away from you. “I wanted to talk with you about something.”
>Oh boy, here we go.
“Ok, fire away.”
“…Anon, the others and I…well…we noticed that you don’t…”
“Don’t…what?”
>Her face is growing red, and you can see that she’s deeply uncomfortable about whatever she’s trying to say.
“That you don’t…well…defecate.”

(1/?)

>>25756738

>There is nothing in the world that could have prepared you for hearing this delicate little yellow pony say those words. You'd have expected her to say she enjoys being cockslapped while feeding squirrels before she'd say something like this.
>Welp, now it’s your turn to get awkward.
“…oh,” you croak out.
>Though you have been, in fact, defecating, you’ve been doing so in secret. You have no desire to discuss exactly what you’re doing if she hasn’t guessed yet, even if she's curious. That's partially because you’ve never actually seen a pony excuse itself to use a restroom. Not for number one, not for number two. They just…don’t seem to do it. Or maybe they only do it at certain times of day? You have no idea. You don't really want to know.
>And more importantly, you haven’t seen a single real restroom since you got here. Not one. Twilight’s house doesn’t have one. Fluttershy's doesn’t have one. Even Pinkie, who generally looks like she’s about to piss herself at various intervals every day, didn't seem to have one for you at Sugarcube Corners.
>In fact, when you asked Applejack where the outhouse was at her farm, she just cocked her head at you and said something along the lines of “Uh, aren’t all houses outside? Unless you mean a house inside a house er somethin’ like that. You'd have to really like houses fer that.”
>So, no help there.
>Given all this, you’ve had to try to figure out a way of evacuating your bowels without making it weird for anyone. Well, anyone but you.
>You’ve never been comfortable going outside. Sure, taking a piss off the side of a cliff is one thing. That’s a matter of personal pride, seeing if you can hit hikers at the lower trail and then run before they notice. But actually squatting down somewhere and…doing your dirty business that way?
>No thanks. Public indecency isn’t really your thing, and it makes you feel gross. And not in the fun way.

(2/?)

>>25756751

>So, instead, you’ve taken to carrying little plastic bags and tissue paper with you wherever you go. You do your filthy deed, bag it up, and all the trimmings too, and then unceremoniously toss it all out of whatever nearby window you can find. Leaving no trace of your bizarre actions, and it’s pretty much what you did for your dog back home anyway, right?
>Because you’re currently living with Fluttershy, you’ve been courteous enough to carry the bags of your leavings to nearby homes and deposit them in the trash there instead, or hide them in nearby bushes. So it can’t possibly be your waste that’s bothering her…can it?
“So…I am. Doing that, I mean,” you assure her. “Regularly, even. So no worries, right?”
“W-well,” she says again. “It’s not that simple.”
“…it’s not?”
“Not exactly.”
>Oh joy.
“Y-you see, we realize that you’ve most likely been…doing your business inside. We’re not sure where you’ve been hiding it but…we’ve noticed you’re not doing it outside like we do. That’s what everypony, every animal does. And…we’re not exactly sure why. I-is it a sex thing?”
>Does she sound hopeful?
>Oh god you hope not.
“Wait, you do it…outside??” you almost shout.
>How have you not noticed this? Maybe you didn’t want to notice. You are suddenly painfully aware that you’ve probably stepped in it hundreds of times by now, and never even realized it. You suddenly want to burn your shoes and then destroy their ashes in a vat of acid.
>She blinks at you, looking a little confused.
“Well of course, every living thing does that outside.”
“Not people!” you nearly explode at her. “We…we don’t…that’s just not what we do!”
>Then, you see something kind of horrifying. A light of recognition dawns in Fluttershy’s face, and it’s like some relief, some feeling of understanding floods over her. And she looks at you calculatingly, appraisingly. And she smiles.
>Oh no.

(3/?)

>>25756768

“Oh you poor poor thing!” she exclaims.
“…what?”
“I completely understand now, you poor dear! Oh it all makes so much sense!”
“What does?!”
“Just come with my you sweet dear thing, I know exactly what to do.”
>This is not good. This does not bode well for you. But before you can protest, she takes your hands and, with a beaming smile, leads you to the front door of her cottage. Before you can say another word she throws it open…
>And you find, with horror, that all the other ponies you call friends are standing there, looking at the cottage expectantly. Like they’ve been waiting for you.
>What in the pastel-colored hell is this.
“Ok, so…what was the verdict?” Twilight says gently, like she’s afraid she might scare you off. "Why is he doing it?"
“Yeah,” says Dash. “Did you find out who he won’t poop like a normal pony?”
>Your mouth works as you try to find words to deal with this situation, but no luck. Really, you’re in no way prepared for any of this. Fluttershy holds fast to your hand, but steps in front of you, almost a little protectively.
“Everypony,” she says. “I’ve found out that the situation is more drastic than we feared, and I want you all to treat this matter very sensitively. I don’t want to hurt poor Anon’s feeling.”
>They again look to you expectantly, and now searchingly. You feel naked under all their gazes, and not the fun kind of naked. More like the kind where you finally tried experimenting with autoerotic asphyxiation, and your mom just walked in, and you can see the wheels turning in her head and you know it’s just a second or two until she figures it out and starts screaming.
>Fluttershy clears her throat, like she’s about to make an important announcement.
“Anon doesn’t know how to defecate outside.”
>Wait.
>Wat.

(4/?)

>>25756788

>A mixture of horror and sudden understanding flashes over the faces of your friends, and instantly you see their postures and moods change to ones of pity and compassion.
>Except for dash. She looks like she’s about to burst from trying to hold back laughter.
>Stupid gay-pride bitch...
>But back to the matter at hand.
“Oh, Anon…” Rarity says oh so sympathetically. “I had no idea, darling.”
“W-wait,” you start to say. “That’s not…it’s not…”
“Now now,” Fluttershy cuts in. “There’s no need to make excuses. I mean, you wear those silly garments over your bottom, it must be hard to figure out how things are supposed to work like that. You must have felt so ashamed and confused. But it’t alright now, we’re here to help you.”
>Help you?
“That’s ok,” you say quickly.
“Don’t worry,” Fluttershy says, gently stroking your hand with one hoof. “I’ve potty trained lots of animals before. I’m sure I can help you too.”
“Yeah sugarcube,” Applejack says warmly. “She got Winona to piddle outside in just a day! It’s perfectly natural, no need to feel all bent out of shape n’ stuff.”
“Yeah Anon,” Twilight says, seeming to brighten. “Every creature poops! I can explain it to you in a step by step process if you-“
“No, I don’t need that, really.”
“But I can make diagrams and charts! I can get statistics!”
>Ok, she looks WAY too happy about this. You need to get out of this now.
“I do NOT need your help,” you say firmly. “I’m fine. I don’t need to poop outside, ok? Thanks for the concern but-“
>Fluttershy frowns.
“But Anon, you have to learn. See, I’ll start teaching you right now. Just take off those clothes and-“
“No.”
“Come on Anon, there’s a good boy, you can do it. We believe in you.”
“Nope.”
“We’ll hold your hand every step of the way.”
“NOPE!”
“I’ll watch the whole time to make sure everything goes ok.”
“FUCKING NOPE!”

(5/?)

>>25756810

>You turn to go away from all...this, and you’re greeted with a sudden, startling whack in the middle of your forehead.
>What the…
>Standing there is Fluttershy, a rolled up newspaper in hoof. Did she…did she just hit you on the head with a newspaper? What the actual fuck is she doing? It didn't even really hurt but...holy fuck, that's disconcerting. She is looking at you still kindly, but also rather sternly now.
“Now Anon, you have to learn sometime.”
“I’m leaving.”
>She raps you again. A little more soundly.
“That’s a bad Anon. This hurts you more than it hurts me. But you’re not leaving this spot until you do your business.”
>What the fuck does she think you are, a puppy who needs potty-training? From the look in her eyes, that’s exactly what she seems to think. And you don’t really want to fight her, but it looks like she’s willing to use force, pussy-ass force though it is, to keep you here.
>She's demanding you poop for her.
>In front of her.
>...
>You stare her down for a moment, feeling the eyes of the others on you too, but she doesn’t budge.
>This isn't solving anything.
“…fine,” you almost spit at her. “You know what, fucking fine! That’s what you want!?”
>You can see her smiling at you then, like a proud and expectant mother.
>With a sneer, you jerk off your pants in front of her and squat low to the ground. Making direct eye contact, you strain your body, staring her down as the sounds of your dirty work, and the smell of it too, begin to fill the air.
>As you feel your waste start to drop from your body, you point at her, finger shaking with the effort of forcing one out so unexpectedly. You hear a muted squish as it hits the ground and begins to form a wet, disgusting pile beneath you. You hear the other ponies wincing and gagging behind you, and you hope they're suffering. You hope you make them all suffer for this. Thank god you had some of Spike’s dragon chili as your last meal.

(6/7)

>>25756841

“Is this what you wanted? Huh? Is THIS what you wanted to see?” the almost scream as you stare Fluttershy down, feeling your face grow red and angrier with every word. “Tell me, is this what you fucking wanted? You DISGUST ME.”
>As you squeeze it off, she steps forward. To your surprise, she reaches out and gently pets your sweaty and fevered brow. Somehow, you feel even more violated by this.
“Who’s a good boy!” she says brightly. “I knew you could do it, I'm so proud! See Anon, now you’ll be able to poop outside every time, like the rest of us!”
>You feel yourself gag from her words as well as the scent permeating the scene as she pulls your still shit-stained body towards her in a hug. You feel the other ponies step forward to hug you too, all crooning congratulations and encouragement. You suddenly find you’re sobbing with confusion and disgust, still gagging from the smell of your own excrement.
>Today, all your friends watched you take a massive shit in the middle of town. And they love you for it.
>…Goddamn it, fuck this place.

-End-

(7/7)

http://pastebin.com/dTLE40wM

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>>25756863
This isn't Anon in Equestria. This is Anon in India.

>>25756919
Designated... You know the rest.

>>25756376
>>If Rainbow's cheeks are getting red, it's probably because it's too cold outside.

Ah, so it's the return of "Clueless Anon".

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>>25757034
You know it.

>>25756919

Pretty much, yeah.


Also, I know I mentioned I was writing something feels a little while ago, ended up not being AiE related though. And not fun, or like any of my other stuff. But if anyone was curious about it, I did finish it, so here you go: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/300014/when-the-bough-breaks

Also, I never want to write about feces ever again. At least I got that out of my system.

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>>25757060

>>25755233
>>25755248
Anybody else reminded of the dragon from shrek?

>>25757060

Geez, yeah. I haven't read or written a Rainbro greentext in years.

>>25757695
Me neither. They were so popular once... What happened to them?

>>25757759

The Rainbro Dash story threads and Flutterrape threads eventually joined forces and became "Anon in Equestria". Then the Flutterrape threads jumped ship and became independent.

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Not gonna deliver tonight, Had some real life stuff to do.
Have this cute pic instead.

>>25757565
Exactly what I was thinking.

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>>25758964
y-you too

>>25752408
>drinking sunny D straight from the source

>>25756863
Pahjeet my son...

>>25756498
Fucking hell that hurt me in the best possible way. I love it.

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I want him to fucking leave.

>>25747165
“So do you have any idea how far the lights were?”
>I ask Sunny as we walk in the direction of lights she had seen last night when she had woken up. This prompts her to think for a bit. “Probably a day or two. I may be wrong though.”
“I hope not. I’d like to at least know where we are.”
>Sunny nods. “Agreed.” In an attempt to stop the conversation, but I persist.
“So… Uh. Hitman, how’d you get into that?”
>Sunny sighs. “Look Anon, you’re nice, cute even, but WE are not friends. Alright? Let’s just walk and keep ourselves alive.”
>I sigh in defeat.
The rest of the day is uneventful as we walk in silence, on occasion we’ll come across a potentially dangerous animal, but we manage to either kill them or avoid them all together, it isn’t until the sun goes down that we come across two horses? tied together and gagged, one of them is a bat horse thing. Looks like a mare. It’s got bat wings, a light lavender mane, yellow eyes, fangs, and a dark blue coat covered by navy blue armor. The other is what I assume is a stallion, he has less fantastic colors. A short black mane, white coat, his eyes are a sky blue and he’s dressed in a safari costume.
“Oh, what the hell?! Who does this to a fucking horse?”
>“The same type of person who blows up a mans ferrari.” Sunny replies sarcastically.
“Oh fuck you.”
>“Not even in your dreams.” She responds smugly
“Bitch.”
>I mutter under my breath as I untie the two horses and take off their gags. The stallion speaks. Yes I know what I just said. No I’m not crazy… Probably…
>“Dear Celestia…”
“Holy shit a talking horse!”
>Smooth… “Talking horse!?”
>“Humans!? Nightshade! Do you see this!?” The stallion fearfully looks at his companion for an answer.
>“It must’ve been the man of the shadow! He said something like this would mark the beginning of his reign!” The bat horse adds.

>>25762044
>The two ponies shoot up, already having forgotten about us. “We must warn the princess before it’s too late!”
>“Hey! What the hell are you two talking about!? How can you talk!?” Sunny questions.
>“Oh, right. The apes.” The stallion says
“Apes?”
>“And they have human weaponry as well!” The mare continues.
>The stallion nods. “Indeed. My fellow sentients you are in the world of Equestria, unlike your world which relies on technology, we rely on the power of magic, be it the magic of a pegasus who controls the weather, the magic of an earth pony who works the crops, or the power of a unicorn who can bend reality to their will if they have the proper knowledge and training. However as we speak an ancient multiversal world consumer of great evil is loose upon the populace! He must’ve escaped when the heart cracked as a direct result from your presence in this universe, ironically you may just be our best chance at stopping him! He seeks the spear of life in order to gain its power, doing so will give him unlimited power and if he succeeds our world and yours shall fall to ruin! We can still save the situation but we must act with haste!”
“Bu-”
>“WITH HASTE!” The mare repeats. After which they’re off. me and Sunny follow. Concerned and confused. Soon we all arrive at a ditch in it is a large group of horses, six of them are touching some glowing blue orb, or well rather the glass around it, specifically they’re looking at a crack in the glass.
>“Princess!” The stallion screams before the purple horse touches the orb, it turns red and lets out a blast of heat which knocks everyone out. I awaken to the sound of me being dragged.
“Wh-where am I?”
>I fade in and out of consciousness.
“Where’s… Where’s… Sunny?”
>I black out again.

>You are Sunny Flowers, and you are freaking the fuck out.

>>25762066
>The fucking blast knocked out everyone and when you came to, a small army of shadowy mist looking people were headed towards the direction you and Anon were going towards. They noticed you were awake and attacked you but luckily you had the FNC and started mowing them down. However now you’re low on ammo and are dragging Anon behind you as some of those THINGS follow you cautiously.

>“‘Nonny.”
“Sunny?”
>“No silly, Pinkie! I’m dead! Listen, you need to make sure you help the ponies! If you don’t… Well it’s not good for anyone.”
“What do you mean?”
>“I’ll tell you when the time comes! I gotta go, Caesar is getting impatient about me holding up poker night! Byyyyyeeee~”
“Wait!- You can’t just! For fucks sa-”

>I wake up to the sound of rain bashing against a window. I look around and see Sunny leaning against a pile of furniture she put to block what I guess is a stairway. I then check myself. Equipment? Check. Weapon? Check. Limbs? Che- wait what the fuck is that? As I inspect my right arm I notice the veins are turning black.
“What the fuck?”
>There’s a screech and Sunny jumps to life. “Fuck!” She aims her FNC at me.
“Woah, woah, woah! Calm down it’s me!”
>Sunny drops her weapon in relief. “Thank god. I thought one of those things had gotten in.”
“No it’s just me. Where are we?”
>Sunny shrugs. “I don’t know. I think this is some sort of abandoned cottage near the heart, we need to figure out a way home soon.”
“We can’t we gotta go get the horses we left at the heart.”
>Sunny slams her fist down on the wood floor. “Don’t be retarded! We’re way out of our league here! Magic, ancient evil!? Who the fuck do you think you are? The Dovahkiin?” I laugh.
“Do I look like some sort of pleb to you? I am the chosen undead!”
>Sunny groans at my joke. “You’re a fucking moron.” She sighs.

>>25762113
“Maybe, but I know what I gotta do. I gotta save the world get the girl and live happily ever after.”
>Sunny pinches the bridge of her nose. “Why?”
“Because if I don’t then there won’t be a home to go back to.”
>“Damnit I was afraid you’d say something that stupid. I want this on record. You are the biggest idiot I’ve ever met… But you’re a charismatic one, so…” Sunny walks over to a window and opens it. “Follow me.” She jumps down. I walk over and do the same. Falling to my knees as I hit the soft grass. Luckily the heavy rain hides most the noise replacing it with its own. What follows is a 30 minute dash back to the heart. As we get closer the rain begins to die out and things get brighter. I look up at the sky and see that the closer we get the earlier in the day it becomes. Finally we return to the heart and it’s daytime in the center. Sunny stops me before I can hop in. “Anon look.” Sunny points at the trees surrounding the area. Perched high in the trees are the shadow people who are sleeping. “Be very very quiet.” I nod in response. The both of us slide in carefully sneaking around the horses checking for pulses. We give each other a silent thumbs up if there’s a pulse.
>20 ponies later and they’re all alive. However the closer I get to the heart the more black shit appears in my veins and I feel an unignorable urge to touch the heart. While Sunny is busy trying to wake up the ponies without making noise (She’s slapping them. Specifically the tallest horse, with the sun tattoo on her ass cheeks.) I move closer to the heart until I’m only a mere millimeter away. There’s whispers in my head telling me to touch it. So I do. The heart flashes a brilliant yellow and produces a low, head splitting hum. The shadow people's eyes shoot open and they all screech in unison forming wings on their backs and diving at the heart.
>I feel as though my entire body is on fire and I black out from the pain.

>>25762133
>“So ‘Nonny~ how’s it going?”
“I’m with the princesses, in the Everfree forest.”
>“Oh… I wish I knew what that meant. Anyways remember save the world please, thank you~!”

>When I awaken I am surrounded by a crowd of ponies and over me is Sunny attempting CPR. “Fuck me! Anon I swear to god if you’re dead I will fucking end you!” Sunny mutters to herself as she continues.
“Love you too.”
>I say with my biggest shit eating grin. This gets me slapped. “You stupid fucker! You could’ve gotten yourself killed!”
>The Sun tattoo horse speaks up. “Touching the heart should’ve killed him. How curious that it didn’t.” I sit up slowly.
“5...”
>The everyone's attention turns back to me.
“5 times I’ve cheated death. That’s gotta be a world record or something.”
>“That’s it!” The purple horse blurts out. “He must be the chosen undead!” A pony with wings and a rainbow mane gives the purple horse a doubtful look. “Chosen undead? He’s clearly alive Twilight.” Before the purple horse can open her mouth, which it’s obvious she wants to, the navy blue horse with stars in her mane speaks up. “Most untrue Rainbow Dash. The chosen undead isn’t necessarily dead. He is somewhere in between life and death. Because of this the universe has chosen to ignore him, locking him forever in a sort of stasis. The only thing that could kill him now is the lance of life.” I stand up and the ponies back away giving me space.
“So what you’re saying is I’m invisible?”
>“I think you meant invincible.” Sunny corrects.
“Yeah that.”
>The night horse looks at me and Sunny with interest. “Not at all. You could still become a member of the living dead if you were to be ‘killed.’ Forever a mindless consumer of flesh until someone destroyed your entire body, or you could be ripped apart and because you cannot die, would feel the pain for all eternity or until somebody fixed you."

>>25762149
>“That said as the chosen undead you are immune to mortal magic and are the only one who can permanently kill the shadow men.”
>I nod in understanding. “So what now?”
> The day horse speaks up again. “We must take you to head mage and scribe Candlelight. He’ll have a better grasp on the situation. Considering he’s been researching this tirelessly for ages.”

>After an uneventful day of traveling from the Everfree to an abandoned train station near a small town called Ponyville you hijack a train and head to the capital where the shadow people are marching, during the train ride me and Sunny are brought up to speed as to who is who in the pony group, so I now know the ponies names and a bit of their history.
>I was surprised that the elements of harmony were pony versions of all my female friends from high school. The three princesses seem nice and so does Prince Shining Armor. Stoner and Nightshade are odd but nice enough. As for the 8 guards 4 of them are bat ponies and 4 of them are normal. The bat ponies are Luna’s personal guards. While the normal guards are Celestia’s elite which don’t talk. It’s like their thing. However Luna’s guards are as lively as Rainbow Dash. 2 of them are mares while the other 2 are stallions. The Stallions are two brothers, Smith North and Blind Sight. The mares are Rose blade and LightSwitch. LightSwitch is NightShades cousin. After that whole introduction I decide to get some rest.
“I’m gonna get some sleep.”
>“Hold up Anonymous.” Twilight stops you, whispering. “I need to have a word with you in private. It’s important.” Twilight takes you to a different car without anyone taking notice.
“What is it?”
>She looks away for a bit. “It’s about your condition… I didn’t want to alarm anypo-anyone. But you aren’t the chosen undead.” You look at Twilight confused.
“What about what the princesses said?”

>>25762149
>“Anon, the princesses only know about what they’ve personally experienced. This is something that pre-dates them and the alicorns, it pre-dates the other races as well. Back when ponykind was just that. No earth, pegasi, or unicorn ponies.” Twilight sighs and gives me a disheartened look. “Anon, this will kill you.”
>I stare at Twilight, at a loss for words.
“B-but…”
>“The only reason you survived touching the heart is because humans are naturally extremely resilient against magic. You’re like rubber and magic would be electricity. Do you remember all the strange things that happened at Canterlot High School?”
“Of course.”
>“If any of those events occurred within Equestria they would’ve been apocalyptic. However since it happened in the human world, it was barely enough to endanger a single school. Look Anonymous, I need you to know that you endanger everyone near you.”
“What do you mean?”
>“You heard the voices didn’t you?”
“Y-yeah?”
>“They were a clear indicator that the heart had been tainted by dark magic. I’ve seen that type of magic only once within greybeard the mads notes on the ancient arts. He described it as a cancer that would slowly make its way through its victim's body driving them mad. Once the corruption is complete it will turn you into a nearly unstoppable killing machine. You’ll become a monster. However he spoke of fits of pure unbridled rage and bloodlust which may occur if your adrenaline levels reach high enough level.”
“I see… Is there anyway to save myself? A cure maybe?”
>“Not that anypony knows of. No.”

>You are Sunny, Twilight had just taken Anon to another car. The others were too busy coming up with an effective battle plan against whatever resistance they may encounter enroute to the castle to notice. But you had noticed by luck having gotten up to stretch.

>>25762202
Any more?

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>>25755269
>>25755533
>>25747604
Sorry, I've been working since.
It'll be a little while before I get around to continue, I've got a tab open as a reminder so I won't forget.

You guys know any good AiE stories about a space age anon that goes to Ponyland in a Space Ship?

>>25763249
No problem, I wasn't expecting a reply anyway so waiting is not a problem

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>"Anon, could you please stop trying to sell ponies into slavery? No one wants to buy a used Rainbow Dash anyway."

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Stupid short I couldn't manage to cram into one post.

>While a fire crackles quietly in the fireplace of Luna's room, you peer out the window.
>As the dying rays of the sun peek over the horizon, snow lightly falls upon the land, presenting a beautiful sight.
"I thought your sister hated winter?"
>Luna's hoofsteps approach from behind, stopping beside you as you put your arm around her.
>"She does, the cold and her are not on speaking terms. Hearth's Warming Eve is the only time of the year she is willing to let snow make an appearance in Canterlot."
"What a wimp."
>She eyes you mischievously.
>"I bet you won't say that to her face."
>You turn and flop onto Luna's bed, letting out a relaxed sigh.
"You're right. I like being in one piece."
>Your reply receives a giggle from the night princess as she joins you on the bed.
>Reaching over, you ruffle her mane, causing wisps of it to fall over her face.
"So, we have a holiday similar to this in my world, but what is the story behind your holiday?"
>Blowing her mane aside, Luna's smile grows wider.
>"Well, Hearth's Warming Eve is a holiday celebrating our unity, both family and friends alike. A long time ago, the three main races of pony separated themselves from one another, until the freezing cold of the windigos, fed from their bickering, caused them to come together and accept one another, founding the land of Equestria."
"Wendigos, huh? That seems odd to put in a legend that celebrates togetherness."
>Luna shakes her head as she snuggles up beside you, using her magic to toss another log onto the fire.

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>>25764246

>"Not at all. You see, windigos are the spiritual beings of the north winds. They gain their power from disharmony and disagreement within the world. As the legend goes, anyways."
"Legends where I'm from say they were once beings like us, until the temptation of consuming the flesh of their own kind in times of starvation drove them to become cannibals, unable to ever sate their hunger, while becoming grotesque creatures of the wilderness."
>You look down at Luna, the sounds of the sizzling fireplace being the only sounds in the room.
>Luna's eyes seem to nearly bug out of her head, as she looks at you in concern and uncertainty.
"I just ruined the moment, didn't I?"

http://pastebin.com/u/AutoPony

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>>25764250
kek
brutal

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>>25764266
So cute.

>>25762009
Who's that?

>>25764533
ur mum

>>25746763
>"I hear~"
I'm not sure if you were going for a smart-ass pun by using an unusual play on words, or if you meant
>"I'm listening~"

>>25748270
If the game is quite old and has a hard time running on your modern PC, you can use DOSBox or D-Fend Reloaded.

>>25750979
Honestly? I happened to like the exposition. But i get that it's not for everyone.

>>25764670
>Dragon fetish detected
How dare you post this without sauce

>>25756498
This shit was cute as fuck. Thanks Father Flutter.

>>25762202
>Silently you step back from the group and head to the door to the car Twilight had taken Anon through. You check to see if they’re inside, leaning against the door in order to hear better.
>You wish you hadn’t. You leave in shock after Twilight tells Anon the truth and lock yourself in a vacant room in the car you were in before. “I… I- I can’t believe it… I fucked up 3 times when trying to kill him and… He convinced me to fucking… I got beat by pony magic!” You punch a wall in a fit of rage and confusion. A single tear rolls down your cheek from the pain. You continue punching the wall weaker and weaker with every hit. “I… I’ll never live this down… People will think I’m an idiot. I just started to like him too… He wasn’t like those idiots I was always stuck with.” Sunny stops listening to herself simply focusing on the blood flowing down from her hand. “Fuck me… I’m an idiot. The biggest idiot in the world.”

>Early in the morning train has made it to the capital. As we get out, the chaos that has befallen the capital is made apparent. There is fire everywhere. EVERYWHERE… Shining stands in front of the guards and gives a quick speech. “Alright Everypony. Everyone knows their role in this?” They guards all grunt. “Good. Let’s do a quick recap. I believe it is safe to assume that the capital has fallen to the shadow men. Lunar Knights you will act as our recon unit. Luna has set up a telekinetic link between Lightswitch and herself. Whatever you see and hear she will as well. Stick to the shadows, conceal yourself from the enemy.” The Lunar Knights respond with a quick. “Aye.” and blast off into the sky.
>“Solar Juggernauts you will serve as our living armor. I want 2 in the front 2 in the back. Celestia I need you to go and prepare for our arrival.” Celestia nods. “Understood.”

>>25765637
>“Nightshade and Stoner I want you to go with the princess and speak with candlelight. Pool your collective knowledge together.” Celestia picks Stoner up with her magic and fly’s off Nightshade right behind her.
>“Cadence you’ll have to be our medic for now, Twilight your friends will help the guards keep enemy any combatant that might attack away from us. Sunny I want you to use your weapon to pick off airborne enemies, Anon I want you ready to kill anything that gets past us. You’re our last line of defense. Twilight I want a protective shield over mine.” Everybody gets into position and the whole group moves forward towards the castle.
“Sunny?”
>I notice Sunny only has a single spare mag left besides the one already in her rifle.
>“What is it?” She spits out her words with extra venom.
“We should trade weapons you’re low on ammo.”
>“I’ll be fine. Worry about yourself for once!” I shut up after that.
> We make it near the castle with little resistance thanks to the Lunar knights recon support until we have the castle’s front doors in sight and the shadow men begin bombarding us climbing over the shields until they realize they can't get in as we reach the front doors to the castle they let themselves slide off the shield and start fusing together creating a single form. It screeches with all of their collective voices and slams its fists down on Shining’s shield breaking it and knocking him out Cadance jumps to his aid with healing magic quickly getting back to his feet. Then again it slams down on Twilight's shield, she barely holds. It screeches and tries again breaking the shield and finally knocking her out, Cadance rushes to help her.
“Sunny we have to distract it!”
>I aim my rifle at it and begin to shoot in controlled bursts instead of going full retard. Sunny does the same but quickly runs out of ammo. Our collective fire keeps it at bay.
>“I’m out! Switching to my pistol!”

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>>25765414
Whatever do you mean?

>>25765643
>Again she runs out.
>“Dry!”
“Juggernauts distract the enemy!”
>I hastily take off my chest rig and toss Sunny my Ak.
“Give me the explosives!”
>The guards do their best to keep the monster at bay. “What are you gonna do!?” Sunny hesitates.
>Twilight is still unconscious, blood dripping from her nose, mouth, and disturbingly even her eyes. “Twily! Twily please wake up!” Cadence is desperately healing her.
>The remaining elements, shining and even Luna are busy keeping dozens of enemies away from Cadence as she works but they’re quickly getting overwhelmed.
“You have to trust me!”
>I desperately plead. Sunny reluctantly complies. “Don’t get yourself killed!” I crack my neck and fingers nervously. The guards are getting rekt.
“Guards back off and take Luna's place in helping the elements! Sunny cover their retreat!”
>The guards quickly retreat as Sunny shoots down covering fire.
“Luna! on my command I need you to shield me!”
>“It shall be done!” She replies. The guards quickly relieve luna.”
“Sunny I need you to shoot the bag on my word!”
>“Got it!” I scream something random as I rush towards the monster.
“MOTHERFUCKING DINKLEBERG!!!”
>The monster swings at me and I slash it’s hand with my dagger making it screech as its hand falls off. It’s hurt hand however quickly grows back. It swings again.
“Bitch I was raised in Detroit! Your dumbass is gonna need to be faster to hit me!”
>As if it understood, it punches too fast for me to dodge sending me straight to the floor. It tries to stomp on my head but I roll to the side barely avoiding it and slash it's leg and stand up taking off the bag and wrapping the sling around its neck trying to choke it but it quickly throws me off it, the bag is still wrapped around its neck. I land at its feet.
“Now!”
>“A blue force field covers me as Sunny shoots at the bag hitting a remotely detonated explosive.

>>25765648
This is cute af tbqh senpai.

>>25765659
>The ensuing blast is barely held out by Luna’s shield which cracks and lets in some fire which burns the left side of my face and my left arm. I scream in agony as it feels like the heat is melting me away, as I pass out from the pain the shield fades and I see Luna rush something.

>You are Sunny. You can’t see Anon under the fireball from the explosion but before you can begin to worry about him Celestia is thrown through the front door breaking them off their hinges. A white featureless man with a black spear walks out. He screams in rage. Celestia tries to stand but he kicks her down.
>“SISTER!” Luna charges the man catching him off guard and impales him making him drop the spear. The guard ponies rush in to help Luna and Celestia.
>“BANG!!!” a shot comes from inside the castle hitting one of the guards and out walks Pinkie holding a glock 40 Gen4 in MOS configuration. “Teehee! I’m evil-” Pinkie is consumed by green fire and is replaced by a tall pony with a bunch of holes in its leg. “Though I’m sure you were already aware.”
>“It’s Queen Chrysalis!” one of the elements shouts. Which you guess she finds funny because she laughs. “That’s right! It is I Queen Chrysalis and my new subordinate Alnnihaya! I call him Al.” You shoot at her but she quickly moves behind cover and changes back into Pinkie. “Kill them! Kill them all!” Al throws Luna off him after having struggled to get him off, and reaches for his spear. You quickly shoot at him, but his body swallows the rounds and shoots them back at you barely missing before you can react he sprints full speed at you with the spear. Time slows down as you watch your imminent death hurl itself at you.
>Cadence is still desperately trying to revive Twilight along with Shining and the elements who are hopelessly holding off the other shadow people. Luna and the guards are busy among themselves and Anon lays lifeless on the floor. You close your eyes.

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>>25765671
Damn hive mind, you beat me to the post.

>>25765690
>There’s a scream. Not yours however. It’s Anons. You open your eyes and see Anon tackle Al throwing him to the ground. Al drops the black spear and you quickly go for it.
>Anon is covered in that black stuff Twilight had talked about, the corruption magic.
>Anon slams his fists down repeatedly each hit breaks the ground bit by bit and Al’s black oily blood starts splattering out as Anon begins viciously beating his face off. Al breaks free of Anons grip and punches him in the stomach which sends him flying into the air, he then quickly gets back up, half his face hanging from his head, beneath is a black skull oozing the oily blood.
>He rushes you again and you ready the spear. Anon lands a few feet away from his enemy and instantly stands back up sprinting at him.
>You stab at the man's skull but miss. He tackles you before Anon can stop him and slams you to the ground knocking the wind out of you. You pull out your kukri and chop into his head, you try to pull it out but a black tentacle pops out and grabs it along with your hand, you quickly pull away before it can do anything. Anon throws off Al in a blur.
>You immediately reach for the spear but it’s missing. Anon screams and you turn only to see Al plunge the spear into Anons chest. Anon falls to his knees ripping the spear out and black goop sputtering out. “NO!” You grab your Kukri and charge when all of a sudden a flash explodes blinding you. You hear all the shadow people screech in pain and then the light disappears replaced by Twilight who’s eyes are glowing, and she looks PISSED. You, her friends, Shining, and the princesses all gasp in shock. “TWILIGHT!?”
>Twilight fly’s at Al and plunges her horn into his heart, she then charges a spell blowing the left half of his torso and ripping off his left arm.

>>25757122
Just like anon did.
huehuehuehuehuehuehue

>>25765906
>Al screams. Twilight speaks in a booming authoritative voice “As the guardian of the Heart you can not succeed.” Twilight then charges another spell and disintegrates Al. Twilight then turns to Sunny“I have erased the strength of the insects plan. Strike the final blow and chop the serpent's head off. You must hurry the others are too weak in their current state to be of use. The task now rests on your shoulders alone!” Twilight’s eyes stop glowing and she falls to the floor. The black goop oozing out of Anon bubbles up and seals his wound, the corruptive magic also retreats back to just his arm. Relieved that Anon is okay you decide to chase after that bitch queen.
>You grip Anons Ak tight some fear creeping into you as you rush into the castle.

>I sputter to life after blacking out. Twilight seems to have just woken up as well, stumbling to stand. “Wh-what happened?” Twilight asks prompting Pinkie to retell the current happenings without taking a single breath. “WellfirstAnonturnedintosomesortofcrazyanimalbeatingupthebadgutAlandsavinghisgirlSunnybutthenAlstabbedAnoninthechestwithaspearandAnonrippeditoutandblackgooacmeoutandthentherewasaflashandyoureyeswereglowingandyoublastedAlwithalazerandthenyoufellaftertellingustofinishoffChrysaliswhowasapperantlythemindbehindthewholeattackohandthenyoupassedoutagianandtheblackgoosealedupAnonsspearboobooandSunnywentinalonetotakeoutChrysalisandthenyouwokeupafterAnonandaskedwhathappened!” Pinkie inhales and exhales. “So yeah. Not much.” It takes a moment for you to process what she just said…
“WAIT SUNNY DID WHAT!?”
>I stand up and a sharp pain over takes my chest face and left arm, but I persist through the agonizing pain, scooping the black spear up from the ground and stagger forward into the castle. “Where are you going Anon!?” Twilight ask.
“I’m off to save the world get the girl and live happily ever after. Besides it's my fault we're in this mess in the 1st place."

>>25765932
>Twilight trots to me as I begin to use the spear to keep myself up. “Anon! Stop you’ll only be a burden! Just like we would be...” Twilight uses a spell to amplify her voice. “Ponies of Equestria! Lend me your strength! I need all of you to channel your hopes, your dreams, think of all the happy moments you’ve had! Now focus on how much you would fight to defend your hopes, your dreams, your happiness!”
> I would like to note however, that this is some serious dragon ball shit going on right now. Like damn nigga whatchu smokin ma nigga?
>Twilight's horn lights up and shoots a beam of concentrated light at you which makes your head feel like it’s about to pop. “I have to chant the healing incantation in order to stabilize you! Pirupirupirupirupipiru-pi~Pirupirupirupirupipiru-pi!~” Instantly you feel better!
“What did you do?”
>“I performed an old healing spell to heal you! Your wounds are to great to be healed using normal magic. Also I gave you enough power to control yourself when the corruption activates! Unfortunately I couldn’t unscar you. Half your face looks like a raisin… Oh! Also I had some juice left in me and I enchanted your dagger and I erased the spell Celestia placed on the Spear of Life so that I guess Al couldn’t use it. So have fun with that! Just keep in mind that the spear is a one use weapon and will most likely kill you if you use it! So you know… Keep it as a last resort.”
“A-alright… Thanks?”

>>25765950
>“Don’t mention it! It’s the least we can do considering you and Sunny are the only ones capable of stopping Chrysalis right now! After all, all of us princesses are way to weak to fight Chrysalis who has probably found some sort of deus ex the universe hates us, way to make herself stronger! And don’t even get me started on the other ponies here!” Rainbow Dash lets out a hurt “Hey!” Twilight ignores her and continues. “Anon, our species isn’t used to prolonged combat, yours however… Well let’s just say your races everyday lives are like overly violent action movies for us at times… Not to mention your history… Like… Shit.” Everyone gasps at Twilight's profanity. “Heh… Sorry, it slipped. Now go Anon! Go and save Equestria!” Twilight puts me down and I immediately break into a full speed sprint, the Spear is no longer a coon at night black but rather a superior white with golden carvings which are glowing.
There’s an explosion followed by a scream.
“Hold on Sunny I’m coming!”

>As Anon runs into the castle Twilight looks at her brother. “We need to come up with a back up plan SOON.” Shining nods.
> Twilight realizes Stoner and Nightshade seemed to have just disappeared. “I wonder what happened to them…”

>As I walk through the valley of death I fear no evil. This quote is relevant and makes me seem smart.
>The entire inside of the castle is just a mess. There is not a single spot that doesn’t look like it’s been blowin up. I soon reach a large chamber with a throne at the end.
“I guess this is the throne room…”
>Sunny is punched into the room through a hole in the wall. I quickly rush over towards her.
“Sunny!”
>That’s when another Sunny walks through. “Anon! Come quick! Help me kill this imposter!” Oh hell no! I saw this in a movie once, I know how this is supposed to go. Though I never finished the movie and never found out how it ended. I grind to a halt.

>>25765970
“Both of you! Say something only the real Sunny would know!”
>The Sunny on the ground rolls her eyes at me. “When we were hiding from the Hydra in the everfree you were staring at my ass and breasts, also before I tried to execute you, you asked what my name was.” The Sunny who was standing gave me an annoyed look. “Don-Manana put a hit on you and Pinkie, who I guess was actually Chrysalis the whole time after you blew up his stupid Ferrari. Now help me kill this imposter! Afterwards I’ll give you a special treat.” She finishes her sentence with a sultry tone. I am astonished by the queen's stupidity. I actually thought this would be harder.
>But it wasn’t. I run over to the standing Sunny and give her a hug. “Anon what the hell!?” The Sunny on the ground screams. I pull out your scissor dagger and plunge it deep into the imposter Sunny’s back, more specifically the back of her neck, before she can react and open it creating a bigger wound, the scissors tip sticking out from the front. I quickly pull out and lunge at her, but she pushes me away and falls to the floor. Sunny grabs Chrysalis’ arms and pins her down as I repeatedly stab into her, producing fountains of slimy green blood. Chrysalis tries changing forms multiple times turning into pretty much everyone I’ve ever met, until finally she turns to a horrid mix between Sunny, Pinkie and herself, which lay lifeless as blood poured out of her.
>And then the blood stopped, and her mutilated carcass twitched and she laughed “MWAHAHAHAHA!!! Fool! All you have accomplished is allowing me to transform into MY FINAL FORM!” Chrysalis stands up, the holes I made are filled by crystals which slowly fill them up.
“God damnit! I was hoping Twilight was wrong. Sunny! Where’s my AK?”
>Sunny quickly stands up. “I dropped it during the fight with Chrysalis!” I facepalm.
“Go get my rifle while I hold her off!”

>>25765930
THANK you. I didn't think I was being subtle, was hoping someone got that.

>>25765992
>Chrysalis shoots Sunny. “Did you 2 forget I was right here?” Sunny goes down with a small wound through her stomach. Chrysalis aims to shoot again but I tackle her and try to stab her, she presses her glock against my chest and shoots into me laughing as I cough up blood on her. My vision blurs and my mind becomes fuzzy. Chrysalis pushes me off of her, and gets up. “As fun as that was for me I still have much to do, I assume Al is dead. Which means I will have more work to be done. So as much as I’d love to stay and watch you suffer, I have work to do.” Chrysalis walks away and drops her glock, which is now empty.
>I reach out towards Sunny who is struggling to drag herself toward me. “Anon! A-fuck!-Anon, oh-shit! Oh god. Anon! Anon! No! Anon!” Sunny grabs my hand and tries to comfort me, but I feel cold and heavy… So tired, I can feel the black consuming me, I can’t fight it I’m so tired… So…

>“‘Nonny… Oh ‘Nonny…. Get up sleepy head! I’m not sure what it is you’re doing, but it looks to me like you’re giving up… And that’s no good!”
“Chrysalis?”
>“Pshh! Please! It’s me Pinkie! Also I figure I should give some context as to why I’m dead. Bummer I know, but that’s what happens when a shape-shifting bug horse sucks all the love out of you and devours your body in order to gain your memories! But hey I don’t mind, it turns out once you die you get reborn into another dimension. Except with the threat to all reality I’m kinda stuck in limbo. or as the locals call it the plane of the non-existent. There’s a bunch of people here from all sorts of places! There’s even a pony with safari outfit, and a batpony with armor! They’re cute… Anyway… You can’t die yet you still have to stop Chrysalis so we can move onto our next lives!”
“I’d love to help but in case you didn’t notice I’ve been shot multiple times in the chest.”

>>25766023
>“Oh I noticed alright! I also noticed that you just healed Sunny by touching her hand, and your wounds are closing!”
“Wh-what? How!?”
>“Come on ‘Nonny! Don’t be silly! Did you really forget that Twilight poured Equestria’s collective magic into you!? It’s gonna take a lot more than getting shot to kill you! Although, 13 10mm rounds to the chest is definitely a good start.”

>You don’t know why it is you got healed, but you’re not wasting this opportunity. You quickly grabbed Anon’s spear and dagger and went to grab his Ak. You’re gonna need it if you’re gonna avenge him. That bitch is gonna pay.
>You exit through the castle after hearing footsteps headed that way, you have the Ak raised as Chrysalis is in sight. “Hey bitch!” Chrysalis turns around. “Smile for the camera.” You unload into her, the first shot goes through her head splitting it like a watermelon between da-booty, the rest rain through her chest and neck tearing through her and dropping her to the floor. You don’t give her a chance to regenerate, you quickly gets to work ripping her apart using the scissor daggers. “I’m not giving you a chance this time you fucking bitch.” You tear through Chrysalis’ chest easily thanks to the bullet wounds, you then immediately start tearing out her internal organs. “Do you really think you can stop me, you pathetic worm? I’ve grown tired of your games.”
>Chrysalis grabs your neck, pushes you away and grabs the dagger that you had dropped, but you react on time and grab the blade before it can get cozy in your chest.
>You struggle through the pain, but Chrysalis is stronger than you and the tip of the blade begins drilling into your chest slowly going for your heart. You put up a final struggle putting all your strength into pushing Chrysalis back, giving you enough space to dodge her lunge as you let go of the blade.

>>25766062
>You grab Chrysalis’ face with your cut hand and punch her throat, while she’s dazed you take the dagger back and stab into her head. “ENOUGH!” Her eyes glow as she throws you away from her and into Anon. Wait Anon? “Anon!”

>I’ve come to a realization, I really don’t like in horseland. Granted, the little time I’ve been here has been a bad time for the place, but I really doubt that the whole reality in danger thing, played any part in that hydra I saw when I first arrived. I’m pretty sure that shit is of natural causes. That said, the ponies seem nice enough and frankly I like the idea of a low technology world. No pollution of any kind is also a plus. But I’m gonna miss 4hooves.
>I stand up and just as Pinkie had said I was healed.
“If Chrysalis gets to have plot armor then it’s only fair that I do to.”
>Wait… Where’s Sunny? Before I can try to investigate, the answer comes in the form of gunshots, lots of them.
“Welp, time to get back to work and end this on a happy note.”
>I run towards the noise and as I turn a corner to the an exit a large blur lands on me. “Anon!” Sunny? “Sunny!” I hug her in relief.
“You’re alright!”
>Sunny pushes me away. “Focus!” She hurls herself at the spear and throws it to me lunging at Chrysalis as I catch it. Chrysalis rips the dagger out of her head and slashes Sunny’s face before she can get to her. I take the chance to stab Chrysalis in the heart. The spear begins glowing and a black mist is sucked out of Chrysalis, who drags herself through the spear closer to me. “I will not go alone!” She plunges her thumb into my left eye and I scream as the pain invades my brain, I am barely aware of her sucking out all my power, the spear begins to glow brighter until. “BOOM!!!” A flash of light and a piercing crack followed by the soothing darkness I've grown so fond of.

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>>25766023
>Did you 2
>you 2
>2

Don't do that.

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>>25766095
Oh shit, didn't notice that. My bad.

>>25766095
You need 2 relax m80.

>>25766078
>“Well that was dramatic! Good job ‘Nonny! You saved all of reality, and all your battle scars make you look really badass!”
“Thanks? I’m sorry Chrysalis killed you. I know it’s not my fault but that still sucks.”
>“Yeaaaah, but now I can rest in peace, besides you killed her so in a way I feel avenged.”
“Well that’s good. So I guess this is goodbye then or did I die?”
>“No, you’re just in a coma, you’ve been in it for a month. So this is goodbye for now! I’m sure we’ll meet again some day. Goodbye ‘Nonny.”
“Goodbye Pinkie.”

>I awaken to the unmistakeable smell of a hospital. I open my eye and am immediately blinded by the lights. I hear someone sleeping and turn to see Sunny. She’s sleep talking. “Stupid… Idiot… Baka… I’ll lop your balls clean off and shove them down your throat… You’re a retarded monkey with no brain and 5 horse cocks inside of you…But in the nicest way possible...”
“Well at least it’s in the nicest way. I’d be offended if it was just in a ‘nice’ way.”
>I sit up carefully avoiding waking up Sunny and I simply enjoy her company laughing to myself whenever she would say something funny. Which was often.
>An hour passes and she begins to stir awake. Stretching and yawning, I’m a bit shocked by the large scar on her face but I get used to it quickly. She rubs her eyes until she sees me awake. “Anon!? Anon! You’re okay!” She hugs me tightly. “The doctors said you may never wake up after blowing up the spear of life! I thought you were gone!” She hugs me tighter as her voice began quivering. “I-um… I w-was pretty worried y-you jackass…” Tighter, I begin to have difficulty breathing and I make sure to voice my concerns to the best of my ability.
“S-Su...Can’t… Breaaaath…”
>This prompts Sunny to immediately release me from her vice like grip. “Sorry. I got a little carried away.”
“I’ll say.”

>>25766290
>Sunny cutely rubs the back of her head with one arm and wipes some tears away with the other. “I’m glad you’re okay. The doctors weren’t exactly very optimistic. They said you had been exposed to such a high amount of arcane magical radiation that you should’ve been burnt to a crisp, the only reason you weren’t was because all of the power which Chrysalis had tried to take for herself served as a shield from the blast.”
“Wait so does that mean all the corruptive power was taken out as well and what about you? You were pretty close to the blast.”
>Sunny shrugs. “Well yes and no. Yes Chrysalis inadvertently saved you I guess by sucking everything out and no, apparently I wasn’t close enough to be in danger as only the center of the blast posed any threat. Though the blood loss from the cut did make me pass out.”
“I’m glad you’re okay… So, now what? Should we talk to the princesses about getting us home?”
>Sunny shakes her head. “I already did. We’re stuck here for a while, the portals that connected our worlds were destroyed when Chrysalis let out Al from the heart.”
“Bummer… Hey whatever happened to the rest of your crew?”
>“They’re dead.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
>“Don’t be, I killed them when we got here. They attacked me as soon as shit hit the fan, so I killed them.”
“Oh, then nevermind.”
>Sunny giggles. “You know Anon, I’m glad you kept me from killing you.”
“So am I.”
>Sunny rolls her eyes as I wiggle my eyebrows. “Don’t make me regret this Anon.”
“Regret wha-”

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>>25766308
>“Oh. Sorry.”
Doesn't sound like he's sorry at all.

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>>25766308
>Sunny shuts me up by giving me a nice long simple kiss. No tongue or licking, just lip against lip. After she parts her lips from mine she looks me in the eye and says. “Guess you managed to save the world and get the girl huh?”
>I give her a big goofy smile.
“Sure did, I even cheated death almost 10 times. So I guess I managed to get the happy ending. If this were a story this would be the perfect time for it to cut to black and say-”
THE-END

>>25766331
In his defense they did try to kill him.

>>25766351
Epilogue
After all the shit that went down, Equestria decided to better arm itself, and with the help of Anon and Sunny they were able to retrieve and reverse engineer all of the weapons that they had left in the Everfree.
>After years of a stable relationship as a couple Anon and Sunny were married and had 2 children, 1 boy and 1 girl.
>Those affected by the attack were able to rebuild quickly and move on.
>A Memorial was built in honor of the few casualties sustained during the attack.
>The portal was eventually reopened but Sunny and Anon opted to stay in Equestria with all of their friends.
>Many more shenanigans and adventures came to be, but they are stories for another time.

>>25765648

I require source for this.

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Update to Jedi Anon story when?

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>>25766930
When I get around to actually doing some writing. We'll see how things go this weekend.

Unless there's someone else doing a jedi anon story.

More poonlicker when?

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>>25766484
What source, anon?

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>>25765024
Yeah, you're right. I just wrote it like I would in german. Gonna change that soon. Thanks.

>>25765388
Many seem to enjoy it but I can see why others don't. Its pretty boring if you want to just read a comfy green.

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>>25767352
>>25765648
>>25764670
That dragon is cute. CUTE!

>>25767352

Dammit, you tease.

Leaving a little something here , which I started to draft out, read into it if it intrigues you.
http://pastebin.com/UChftkYs

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novakid in equestria when?

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Anon in Celestria

>>25769041
>When Anon tapes a piece of paper with a copy of a pony's cutiemark to his ass they all think he's that pony
>Even the pony he's impersonating
>Anon is the new Princess Celestia

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Something You'd Regret - Let's End This.

Prose: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/189816/something-youd-regret
1: http://pastebin.com/z92nhVKV
2: http://pastebin.com/35aUT0jz
3: http://pastebin.com/G28qNx3X
4: http://pastebin.com/e783sJFn
5: http://pastebin.com/DUA7hHVC
6: http://pastebin.com/NmuZi269
7: http://pastebin.com/1JUpiRek
F: http://pastebin.com/RZJ7g2Ud
E: http://pastebin.com/7Etqb9rt
---

>For just a moment, time stood still.
>The bolt of purple energy soared through the air for what felt like an eternity.
>Anon simply watched in horror at the beam of light that flew towards him.
>Cadance gasped, still reeling from the shock of the unexpected guest.
>Shining followed along, confusion written on his face as he saw the attack head towards Anon.
>The bar was silent.
>Every patron viewed helplessly as Twilight attacked Anon.
>A glass slipped out of the bartender's hand and fell in the same slow motion that the beam soared in.
>The liquid poured all over the ground, splashing and creating ricochet trails of drink across the floor.
>In those tense moments, everyone knew what was to come.
>All they could do was watch.
>Cadance tried to light her horn to launch a defensive, but Twilight was too quick.
>The energy landed directly on it's target.
>There was a crash of glass that echoed through the whole establishment.
>Anon yelped as he pulled his hand away and pink liquid fell onto the table mixed with broken glass shards.
>Cadance's jaw dropped, eyes wide at the result of Twilight's attack.
>Twilight stood tall, anger etched in her features, wings spread and approaching their table.
>The bartender's glass hit the ground, shattering across the wooden floor.
>Then, time resumed.
>"I would like for everypony to please leave," Twilight announced to the bar.
>Twilight took step after careful step towards Anon and Cadance.
>He was probably already under the influence of the potion.
1/16 + Epilogue

>>25770046
>'Which dose did I destroy?' she wondered to herself. 'Two? Three? Does she have more?'
>After a second of hushed whispers, the ponies in the bar quickly filed out, each in their own varying degrees of distress and confusion.
>Cadance stared at Anon, then back to her glass, still filled with pink liquid.
>Tears filled her eyes as she began to shake.
>"Now then," Twilight said, as the last pony left the bar. "I have questions. And nopony's leaving until I have some answers."
>Cadance sniffed and held the glass to her lips.
>Twilight's horn lit up quickly, but Cadance slammed the glass on the table, spilling the contents over the remains of it's sister glass.
>"What's the point?" she muttered under her breath.
>"What the hell is going on?!" Anon piped in, rising from the booth.
>"Sit down, Anon," Twilight said.
>"No. I want some answers too. How about, 'Why the fuck did you attack me?' for starters."
>"Fine. It's because she's been lying to you. You're not actually-"
>"Twilight," Cadance said firmly, interrupting her. "May I at least be the one to say it?"
>Twilight stared at the pink princess warily, but stopped her advance.
>Shining walked forward and stood beside Twilight, staring directly at his wife.
>Anon turns to Cadance, who turned to face him, her eyes darting around the room, trying to find the words to say.
>She opened her mouth slowly, choosing her words carefully.
>"Tomorrow... everything is going to be different," she said.
>"W-what? What do you mean?" he replied.
>"Tomorrow you aren't going to be in love with me. I know you won't."
>Anon stepped forward towards Cadance and knelt before her, taking one of her hooves.
>Twilight flinched and looked away.
>"That's not true. You know that's not true. I promised I'd-"
2/16

>>25770060
>"I've been poisoning you, Anon," she said shakily, looking away from him. "The pink drink wasn't alcohol, it was a love potion. Twilight figured it all out before I could give you the third and final dose to complete it's effects."
>Anon remained still, holding her hoof, staring intently at her.
>Twilight took a few steps forward.
>"And since... since I'm under the effects too, then I won't love you tomorrow either, if I don't drink the final dose, sitting in front of me."
>Anon looked from her, to the glass, then back to her.
>"But..." he said, searching for comprehension. "No. I had feelings before we drank the potion together. If it takes multiple times, we only drank it once."
>"When do you remember first having feelings, Anon?" she asked.
>Anon looked to the floor and searched his mind for when he could have possibly began to realize he loved Cadance.
>"Well, the hospital. After I woke up."
>Cadance sighed and closed her eyes.
>"I carefully poured the first dose down your throat as you slept. I intended to do it when I called you to the room, but Shining changed that."
>Anon stood up, breathing quickly and taking a step back.
>"Wait. No. Wait. I love you," he said desperately.
>Anon stood straight and lunged for the final glass of potion.
>But it was quickly shattered by a bolt of energy.
>Light blue energy.
>Twilight and Shining gasped.
>"There's no point anymore, Anon," she said. "It's done."
>Anon took a step back, shocked.
>"B-but, I love you."
>"I know, sweetheart," she said sadly.
>Anon began to tremble as Twilight then stepped forward, her brother in tow behind her.
>"Please. Cadance. Explain what's going on."
>Cadance sighed and a feint, pained smile curled on her face.
>"Well, I honestly don't know how to begin to explain..."
>A silence fell between the four as Twilight stood resolutely in front of Anon.
>"I... I suppose I should start by saying... all of this is my fault."
3/16

>>25770077
>Shining stepped forward to say something, but Twilight glared at him.
>He stepped back, keeping his mouth shut.
>"I never meant for any of this to get as out of hand as it did. None of this was ever supposed to happen. I was just trying to make Shining happy, and"
>"Make me happy?" he scoffed.
>"Shining!" Twilight interjected.
>"No, I deserve it, Twilight," Cadance said. "I'll let everyone say what they want to say... just, let me say this, first."
>Twilight looked to the other two and nods to Cadance.
>Cadance sighed and cleared her throat, scanning the broken pieces of glass for any sort of way of explaining what happened.
>"This country... almost runs itself," she began. "But the guard is needy. Very needy. Shining worked long hours, all the time. We got to see each other less and less. I mean, sometimes work has high demands of you. It's happened in the past to both Shining and I. One week I could be on a trip to some strange land, while the next week Shining could be off for a military exercise. It was just life for us. But, we never minded. Things were fine. It just made the time that we spent together all the more precious."
>Shining stood straight, furrowing his gaze as she stopped to look at him.
>He nodded.
>"It's true."
>"But... something changed after the wedding. It could have been the constant stress afterward for both of us, or defending the Crystal Empire, or just adjusting the a new lifestyle, but we never had time together anymore. You'd think that getting married would mean more time together, and... I mean, we were."
>She sighed.
>"But, even when we were together. We were alone, in our own ways. He was tired and wanted to go to bed. I was lonely and just wanted to talk. To snuggle. Anything. The late nights only seemed to get later for him when he said he would be taking on some new recruits... and I just wasn't sure what to do," she sighed.
>She looked up at him.
4/16