>O-Oh my god Anon! It's s-so small!

>>25719081
Have you always stuttered? I haven't noticed until now.

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>>25719081
>Daily anon has a small dick thread

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>>25719081
Yes?

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>>25719081
"Right? Cutest damn thing ever!"

>You make the tiny skeleton dance faster, causing Dash to laugh even harder.

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>>25719182
Why are jumping spiders so kawaii?

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>>25719081
well yeah, it's 1/144 scale

>>25719081
What the fuck Dash? You have a brain tumor, why are you laughing about it?

>>25719081

I know. Keking Soarin is going to be so much fun.

>>25719190
Kek

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>>25719081
Yes it is, good observation Dash but we're in a city and you don't want to be driving some fuck off huge car in the city, especially if you want to park in those tiny city parking spots.

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>>25719081
I know
Micro Machines are bad ass

>>25720516
Is that your Honhonhonmobile

>>25720565
Nah it's just a picture from /o/
Though I do personally drive a small French car.

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>>25719081
>Th-there's nothing wrong with a 250
>e-everybody starts on one, honest

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>>25719081
Have you ever been shot by a mini-balista dash?
It sounds cool now, but try living with it. Shit hurts.
Argh, fuck! That one was a bodkin!
Damn tiny Romans...

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>>25719180
Still a better thread than "anon is a snarky know it all who fucks every pony”

>>25721432
This is you isn't?
>>25719289

>>25721451
Nope. But that's a beautiful thread.

>>25721456
>That thread is beautiful
Yeah, you are

>>25719081
It's not the size that count, but how you use it.
youtube.com/watch?v=8ESgWlzQQag

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>>25720516
TWINGO

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>>25719180
Its okay. Anon. The truth is supposed to hurt.

>>25719081
"Sh-shut up! You don't even have a Pokemon card collection to begin with..."

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>>25721827
>pokemon cards
>not yugi-oh

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>>25719217
> not building MGs

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>>25720516
>tfw no Twingo plush

>>25719081
its called a clit, cunthorse.

>>25721863
>cuntboyanon
notsureifwant.jpg

>>25719081

Yeah, these mini egg vibes do a lot more than you'd think. You could fly with this fucker in.

Bet you can't do it for an hour of stunts without crashing.

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>>25721863
>Not having a horse sized clit
After the dick size, OP even manages to lose the clit size competition to the ponies

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"Yeah, but it gets me from A to B. Hop in, we're going to raid Sugarcube Corner.
>You move over as bust you could so Rainbro can squeeze in next to you.
>"Kind of cramped, isn't it?" she asks.
"It gets better milage that way," you reply.
>Hitting the pedal, you take off at a lightning five miles an hour.
>*whiiiiiiiiirrrrrrr*
>Ponies walking by star at you as you drive through Ponyville.
>Rainbro ducks her haid to try to avoid being noticed.
>It doesn't work.
>"Anon, I could walk faster than this," she grumbles.
"True. But you wanna know why this is better?"
>"It's not."
"You're lazy but still have to walk places. I don't."
>Rainbro raised an eyebrow.
>"Anon, that's stupid. How could you even... Hmm...."
>Rainbro fell into quiet contemplation.
>"Can it get us cupcakes?"
"Even better!"
>You drive up to the bakery and through the front door as another pony was opening it from the inside.
>Poor girl almost got ran over.
>You blared the horn at her so she had plenty warning.
>*meep meeeep*
>You pull up alongside the counter where Mrs. Cake was waiting.
>Good afternoon, Anon. Rainbow Dash," she geeeted.
"What up, Big Mama?" you greet. "Me an' Rainbro need a pair of cupcakes and some chocolate milk to go."
>"Make it snappy!" said Rainbro. "We got things to not do."
>Mrs. Cake smiled and fetched you order from behind the glass counter.
>Suddenly, Pinkie out of fucking nowhere.
>"Hi Nonny! Hi Rainbow!" she shouts into your faces.
"HI PONK!" you shout back.
>"Cool ride, Nonny!" she says.
"Huh? Oh no, Rainbro and I are just friends."
>"She was talking about the car!" shout Rainbro with a beer-red face.
>"Teehee! Yeah silly!" said Pinkie.

>>25721964
>Mrs. Cake came back with your order.
>"Here you go, you two," she said as she handed a bag over the counter.
"Thanks, honey," you tell her. "Alright Penk, we're out of here."
>"Ooh! Take me with you!" she said excitedly.
>"There's no room," said Rainbro.
"Nonsense! Sit on the hood, Pank."
>Pinkie squealed in delight as she layed back on the hood and sipped on a chocolate milk of here own.
"Lets blow this popsicle stand," you tell them as you whip your power wheel around and drive into the door; throwing it wide open as you pass through.
>*whiiiiiirrrrrrr*

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>>25721425
>that pic
too cute

>>25721975
12v/10

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>>25719081
Twilight seems to like her present though. Don't make fun of her.

>>25722206
Gimme 90 minutes until my lunch break and I'll have another short or two.

>>25722714
>"AYY I'M FUCKIN DRIVIN' HEA, OUTTA DA ROAD YA DUMB FUCKIN GREEN MONKEYFUCK!"

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>>25721964
>>25721975
>>25722206
Why are there so many hilarious one-shots and replies lately?

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>>25722934
Hiatus magic anon

>>25721975
>Be Anon
>Driving the pimpmobile through Ponyville
>Rainbro riding shotgun
>Shades on each of your faces
>The two of you ride around drinking beer out of a small cooler strapped to the hood
>The empty cans are tossed to the side on the ground
>Princess Bitch Better Mind Her Own Business trots up besides the two of you
>"Anon, we need to have a talk about your littering and harassing other ponies," said Twilight.
>The response she got was an empty can thrown at her by Rainbro followed by laughter from each of you
>"I'm serious!" shouted Twilight. "The shenanigans need to stop."
>As if on cue, the pimpmobile sputters to a stop
>You stare pump the pedal several times
>It's dead, Jim
"AHHHHH!" you panic
>Rainbro freaks the fuck out too
>"What happened to the car!" she shouts
>You roundhouse kick the cooler off the hood and throw it open
>The battery had no more juice in it
"It's dead!" you wail
>"Fix it!" scream Rainbro
"I can't! Ponies haven't invented electricity yet!"
>"Noooooo!!!" Rainbro shouts to the sky
>"Well it looks like the problem solved itself," said Twilight
>You look at her
>Idea
>You grab the jumper cables from beside the battery and hook them up.
"Twilight, I need to borrow your face!" you shout quickly
>"What do you- OW!" she hollers as you clip both cables to her horn
"Start it!" you shout to Rainbro
>She hops in and starts pumping the pedal
>"It ain't working!"
"We gotta give her the Shocker!"
>You spin Twilight around and spread your fingers
>"Anon get this cable off meeeEEE-AAAAHHHHHH!!!" she scream as you shove your fingers up her backside
>A torrent of magic energy releases from her horn and into the battery of your power wheel
>It suddenly roars to life
>"It's aliiive!" announces Rainbro
"Badass! Hey thanks Twi- HURGK!"
>The princess swiftly bucks you in the dick as hard as she can.
>When you double over holding your boys, she lights your green ass on fire and blasts you with lasers

>>25723364
>After getting her fill of blasting your ass with magic, she walks away wobbly-legged
>Rainbro looks over at your smoking body and holey clothes
>"Oh hey, I just realized something," she starts. "I could have just brought a thunder cloud down to zap the battery."
>You glance up at your bro from the ground, a bit pissed she didn't try to back you up
"A bit late for that now, isn't it?"
>You stand up and dust yourself off
>The cooler is placed back on the hood, you take your seat, and don your shades
>Rainbro shares a glance and a nod with you
>"Hit it!" she shouts
>You stomp the pedal
>The supercharge from Twilight's horngasm threw the ncar near vertical as it took off
>The cooler went sailing into lands unknown
"AWESOOOME!!!" you shout as you drive into the distance

>>25719081
>>25719180
>>25721787
>>25721863
>>25721883
I mean I'm above average for a human and of course very small in comparison to a horse but would we really be that small if ponies are about 3 feet tall like we've deduced?
I want an /mlp/ dick size comparison.

>>25719161
#fuckingtold

>>25721964
>"Can it get us cupcakes?"
>"Even better!"
>You drive up to the bakery and through the front door

Would have been funnier if you used the drive-thru

>>25722206
Criminally fucking underrated

>>25723408
There are very small horses, GSD sized. But even they still have a bigger dick than a human. Even most dogs have.

There is this one weird charts where someone did a bit of math, but the error these charts always make is that they assume the dick gets smaller at the same rate as the body, which isn't the case. Also the position they have while fucking requires a dick long enough to actually get inside far enough. Humans don't need that.

>>25723438
The reason they have such big dicks is that they aren't as good at maneuvering I'm pretty sure not much of the dick actually gets in. Also what is gsd

>>25723478
German Shepherd Dog.

I can say that I have acquired the knowledge on how deep mares are they get in far enough. Horses can kinda hilt, unlike some people here believe.

>>25723497
>I've actually ducked a horse

If this was true one of you would have bought a horse farm where you let fellow horsefuckers come fuck the horses by now. It's a meme.

>>25723560
Fucking horses is not magic, it's pretty easy actually

I wish I could afford to keep a horse, but sadly a place to stable them costs at least 450-500 euro here monthly, and I can't afford that.

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>>25723375

>>25720516
>>25720565
>>25721768
>>25721859
We /Twingo/ now?

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>>25723825
Depends, is there one ponied?

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>>25719081
Yes. I call it, MINI ME!