This guy goes to equestria. What happens?

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>>25538286
Suddenly Russian reclamation of lost Equestrian territories.

NATO is powerless.

>>25538286

ivan you carry so many gun but you can only shoot one

>>25538329
Other guns are for arming of ponies

>>25538320
That pic would be perfect if instead of a cat it was a filly

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>>25538286
It begins.

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>>25538286
I trash it with the rest of the 'hurrrrr X in quesdria what do' threads.

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>>25538286
>you are ivanon
>ivanon is of being in horseland for much time
>for longest of times it was just Ivanon, his precious Kalashnikov, and trusty vodka supply.
>oh! this is when before ivanon was of knowing it was horse land.. of anyways
>Ivanon was walking in woodlands of mother Russia.. errr or was it Ukraine? Ivanon isnt remembering so good
>anyway, ivanon hear loud noise while walking and readies his Kalashnikov
>but what appears isnt enemy, its small blue horse with wings.
what is that small blue horse with wings?
>blue horse has good hearing or perhaps ivanon was shouting. is hard to remember
>"ah! what is that thing?"
blue horse speaks!? perhaps i am in the Chernobyl and not Ukraine!
>blue horse then charges at ivanon, too fast for ivanons 'slightly' inebriated body to react to
>"what are you doing here! what are you!"
>ivanon is bombarded with the questions from little blue horse
i am fighting a war for motherland! its a proud job! what are you doing here little blue horse?
>"a war?!"
>blue horse gets in ivanons face. it was most uncomfortable for Ivanon..
>"so you're trying to invade Equestria huh? well tough guy you will have to get through me first!"
no Ukraine.
>blue horse rose her hoof as if to hurt ivanon. but ivanon must have been too good looking or something because she stopped
>"where now?"
Ukraine. no Equestria. yes Ukraine.
>"and where is that?"
its in Ukraine. soon to be more Russia..

continue? y/n
and yes im the guy whos been doing the slav posts

>>25538352
Is one man revolution!

>>25538286
He arms all of the Diamond Dogs. All of them.

He and his army fight for the right to make Scooby Snacks and distribute them to canines everywhere.

>>25538492
Yuss

>>25538457
Pen the trashman is now in Equestria what happenerino now

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>>25538492
>even asking whether or not to post more
Don't be a cyka blyat.

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>>25538492
>"uh.. so.. you're not attacking equestria?"
no, i not know of where or what Equestira is. i cannot fight what i dont know... unless i have more vodka then i can fighting anything!
>ivanon is then let stand up by blue horse
>she still give ivanon weird look, but at least she not trying to hit now
>"uh... alright?.. so what are you?"
I am Slav. my name is Ivanon. what are you?
>blue horse fly up to ivanons chest, up close she little cute. not very horse like
>but still a horse
>"im rainbow dash, im a pegasi, aaaand the best flyer in all of equestira~"
>blue horse extends hoof to ivanon
>ivanon assumes she wants ammo, ivanon gives her ammo.
>ammo very important to give new friends.
>"whats this? is it like.. a rock or something?"
is five five six. why you rifle not take five five six?
>"whats a rifle?"
>....
>blue horse not have rifles?

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>>25538492
Cont please.

>>25538693
>Slav
>5.56mm
Wait just a damn minute...

>>25538752
He's not going to give his own ammo silly

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>>25538752

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>>25538693
>>25538752
You dun goofed boy.
Dropped. Ok folks, thread is done, wrap it up. Have a good day/night whatever. Buh bye.

>>25538779
Giving comrade 5.56 is like of slapping balls
Would not wish on worst enemy

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>>25538787
Thread is not of over when is still vodka!

>>25538787
>>25538841
Ah fuck anon is right. I made fuck up. Ah well. Maybe next time!

>>25538851
We will pretending you gave 5.45 and send you to gulag later
KEEP WRITING

>>25538864
If you want. I must do duty and go to gulag later I continue

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>>25538492
>perhaps i am in the Chernobyl and not Ukraine!
Chernobyl is in the Ukraine.

>>25538931
Chrynobl is no mans land

>>25538851
Het, great leader is being of demanding of more green be of ignoring great leader commands and he will make ammunition factories produce 5.56 until whole nation learns to love it>>25538864

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>>25538693
>err perhaps ivanon not give five five six, that dont seem correct..
>must be the vodka. anyways
if blue horse not have rifle, then what would blue horse defend motherland with?
>blue horse is of the shrugging
>"uh.. i dont know, like swords, spears, magic. the normal stuff!"
>ivanon begins to start the laughings
oh blue horse magic is not of existing.
>"uh yeah it is- does! ugh, why do you talk so weird?"
>before ivanon gives horse smart response blue horse continues her talking
>"how do you not know about magic? its like, everywhere?!"
>ivanon puts away kalashnikov so as not to drop it from laughing
ok blue horse, i make bet. if magic is existing ill give you kalash--
>ivanon is of stopping his talk, too much vodka, no russian would bet kalashnikov
uh.. ill give you Magazine! for kalashnikov.
>blue horse looks at ivanon in unamused face
>"seriosuly? thats what i get if i win.. a book?"
book? who talking of book? i said magazine for Kalashnikov! not book!
>"fine fine whatever, you're on. be ready to give me that book you weird monkey."
>ivanon most confident he will be wining this bet with blue horse.
>but of course ivanon was of drink. if he had not ivanon might have not made a bet with a flying blue horse about magic
>but ivanon regrets nothing.
>after short walkings through woods Ivanon and Blue horse see small horse land village
what is horse village doing in Ukraine?
>"you keep talking about this Ukraine, ive never heard of it.. but this is ponyville, the place where you are going to lose a bet!"
you keep of the talkings blue horse and you will eat Slavic boot soon!

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>>25539211
I can never get enough of broken russian english

keep going, you glorious writefag

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>>25539211
>what is horse village doing in Ukraine?
>tfw Ukrainian
I'm fucking dying, keep up the good story, comrade.

>>25539854
where do you live, fag

>>25539870
What's in it for you, son?

>>25539880
horsefucker drinkbuddy, if nearby.

>>25539920
its a trap! hes a ruskie!

>>25539920
I'm currently under liberation so I doubt it.
Lugansk-fag

>>25539969
don't get bombed then
Ternopil'

>>25540013
Y-you too, salobro.

>>25539969
Jesus
What's it like over there?

>>25540443
ever seen red dawn?

>>25540448
Holy fucking shit really?

>>25540483
no

kill the ponys dimitri , BURN ALL .

bumping this

>>25538286
>typical_fps_protagonist.jpg

Breddy gud greeny steamy tortellini.
Bumpity

pmuB

how dare you get on page 10

>>25540573
>>25540664
>>25541205
>>25542065
Fucking autists, I hope you never get the chance to be around guns irl.

>>25542090
what makes you think being around guns is something I might want to do?

>>25542090
I just want to be around ruskies that speak broken english

it was a good story while it lasted

>>25539211
that.... that doesn't seem very right
that is a shovel handle, as a stock
did Ivanon not care for his Kalashnikov very well?
Niet, is unacceptable

>>25543257
Rifle was made from shovel tovarishch.
Rifle is fine.

>>25538286
>Be this guy in Equestria
>Discover that cider is not alcoholic
>Realize there's no alcohol in Equestria
>Proceed to cry loudly

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>>25542090
>Im-fucking-plying
It's like you don't even know half of /mlp/ is /k/. (and visa versa)

>>25542353
Дaз зиc мэйкc ю фил бeттep мaй фpeнд?

>>25540443
Shitty, but little better than last year desu.

>>25544375
Top kek

>>25538492
This is really the best thing. Continue please!

>>25538286
boom boom boom.

>>25545073
Bump bump bump

bumparoo.

Pumb

>>25539413
odd thing is, enemies in MGS2 had Russian accents, but in MGS3, when they were actually in Mother Russian, perfect english

>>25542353
They don't exist, it's literally impossible to speak like this.

>>25547498
You'd be surprised. It took me long to learn and I still make odd mistakes.

bump?

>>25542353
Wait, I thought speaking broken english is kinda taboo here. That, and mild Hitler praising. It doesn't help me feel any better, 'cause I'm Russian.
But if broken russian english will make you feel better, I may give it a shot.

>>25550645
Better dead then red commie.

>>25550665
I'm not red nor commie, пидop.

>>25550704
You're speaking commie ya red.

>>25550790
Ok, I'll bite
You are of capitalistics pigs, Glorious Mother Russia allow you to living because you are of funnings. Hehehe, keep comrades of laughings.

If Ivanon doesn't continue in a few days I may just have to take up his cause... But I really want Ivanon to continue because I have no idea what I'd do with this fucking hilarious story.

>>25550865
Damn right we are! Merica!

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i was unknowings this thread still is exist. sorry for absence of the colored letters. i continue.

>>25544875
seriously though i do this for shits and giggles, if you want to take it over go right ahead.
>pic related

>>25551092
When will you continue?

>>25538286
Always figured that's what Gordon Freeman looks like.

>>25538382
A filly fluttershy?

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>>25539211
>after moment longer of walkings Ivanon and blue horse enter horseland village
>it becomes aware to ivanon, that flying blue horse is not only horse kind.
>there are mini normal horse, flying horse, and mini horse with rod out of head.
>Blue horse is of smiling as she leads you to large house tree
>"im going to prove that magic exists to you. the best way i can, get an egghead to do it for me. and THIS is where she lives"
>blue horse makes proud pose in air
blue horse perhaps you have had more than too much of drink, this is tree, not house. horse dont live in tree, only owl and sniper.
>"well.. she does.. anyway come on."
>blue horse commencing of knockings to large door to tree
>there is small sound of crash from tree then voice
>"spike can you get that please? ill be there in a second"
>"sure thing twilight."
>opening door to tree is large newt. there is silence as newt watches ivanon
>ivanon watching of newt as well.
>"hey spike, can i barrow twilight, this monkey here made a bet and im ready to get my winnings!"
blue horse, your friend is newt?
>"a what?"
>ivanon begins of pointings to purple newt
newt.
>"im not a newt! im a dragon! im.. not very big yet.. but one day i will!"
>ivanon looks back to irritated newt
why is animals in Ukraine always of talkings to Ivanon?

>>25551092
In all honesty I wouldn't be able to get the voice right. You are of doings it too well.

>>25551249
Comrade, you obviously not drink enough vodka in school if your capitalistic english is of that bads. Let me be of correctings yours mistakes.

> Ivanon and blue horse enter
is of enterings

>Blue horse is of smiling
Nyet!. is of 3rd person, is should have "-s" as endings. so, "is of smilings"

>opening door to tree
door of tree

>newt.
Me is not of interestings where you were learnings this word. Be of preparings to KGB arrive.

>>25551320
comrade i am of thankings you. but for newt, is like that of salamander. but different.

>>25551344
Salamander? Comrad who is teaching of words?

>>25551344
> i am of thankings you
One time again, right article is of "an", is not "am". I will be of pretendings you have had missings of buttons.
And by the way, there's always google translator. Nevertheless, it's not like I see new english word every day. In short, you made my day already. Keep it up, friend.

>>25551092
Also this >>25551320 >>25551355 >>25551391 is of why I no want your job... Many too much complainings from peanuts gallery.

But in all honests. Three months vodka ration I would be givings you if glorious story is of the complete by hand belongings to you... eventuallys.

A bottle of Russian Standard shipped to yous?

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>>25551391
>mfw i am re-learning my native language incorrectly for the purpose of writing. man high school and collage were wasted on me.

>>25551249
>"uh.. rainbow. whats he talking about? and what is a Ukraine?"
>Blue horse begins the rolling of eyes before starting of walk in door
>"never mind that for now spike, he wont give you a clear answer anyway. Hey twilight!"
>"rainbow dash? one second ill be right down"
>ivanon is of entering past large newt
blue horse, why is tree made of many book? book are made of tree!
>"rainbow? whos that? i dont recognize that voice!"
>"well just come down here twilight! hes a... monkey--- uh... i mean new species! yeah!"
>as ivanon is of sittings down new purple horse becomes of walkings down stair.
>purple horse has rod out of head.
>"uh.. rainbow? where did you find.. that?"
him, ivanon is of male. and ivanon is slav, though not of much drunk as wantings to be.
>luckily ivanon is proud russian. always of prepare for the worst of event times
>ivanon keeps bottle of vodka in bag for emergency. as he is beginnings of opening bottle
so blue horse, is your bet ready to be losing?
>"im not going to lose a bet with you. tell him twilight, does magic exist.."
>blue horse is of confidence, but ivanon is knowings of better.
>"well.. yeah. magic exists? why would you make a bet on that?"
words are not of magical purple horse. they are not make more vodka either.

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>>25551474
>when ivanon starts the drinkings of vodka, bottle lifts in air.
hey, why is vodka not going with downward earth force?
>ivanon is of reaching to high bottle above air, however ivanon not of succeed
>precious vodka then is of flying to purple horse
>"whats vodka?"
>top of vodka become off of vodka
>"it. it doesnt smell like anything. and it looks like water.."
>purple horse try to drink
>Ivanon is of interest in vodka drinking horse, perhaps it becoming of funny soon
>then purple horse tasting of vodka, but taste must not be one of horse ability
>"yuck. it tastes.. weird."
>"like what twilight?"
>"im not sure spike... its, different."
>blue horse then is of movings to bottle
blue horse, your bettings has lost. magic is not of existing.
>blue horse then picks up vodka
>how she do this without hand, ivanon not knowings.
>"what are you kidding me? Twlight just moved a bottle with her magic. that didnt prove magic to you?"
Ivanon has seenings of better when he is drinking of vodka. now be givings vodka to ivanon.
>"hey dont i at least get a taste? egghead did."
if blue horse begins tasting of vodka, then newt will want tastings, then being less vodka for me.
>"oh come on ill only drink a little."
>ivanon starts his walkings to blue horse as blue horse starts drinking ivanons vodka
no more vodka for animals of Ukraine! only for Ivanon!
>ivanon is then being of hug by purple horse
>"wow.. that stuff is really... weeeeird.. can i have another sip?"
is ivanon of speaking to wall? no, wall listenings better than horse. ivanon keep vodka for ivanon.

>>25551599
drunk horses
luv u writefag

>>25551599
>why is vodka not going with downward earth force?
who teachings you of gravy, comrade?

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i am of gettings the sleepy. Ivanon hope you enjoy ivanons color words. i continue later.

>>25551668
I enjoy em. Hailing from paris. Keep up the good work

>>25551599
>Ivanon has seenings of better when he is drinking of vodka.
Pour this comrade two full glasses of Stolichnaya.

Coвeтcкий Кpacнoзнaмeнный БAMП

FUCKING BUMP

A мoжeт мы пpocтo ycтpoим здecь pyccкyю тeмy? Кyльтypный, yютнeнький тpeд, cвoих, poдных кoнeёбoв и вcё тaкoe.

I am of bumping thread

yдap

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>>25551599
I love this.
Please be of continuings

Bunp

>>25538286
He finds a world where guns and violence are not needed like they are here and lives a peaceful life surrounded by ponies.

>>25553295
He пaли кoнтopy, тoвapищ.

I am of the commanding shepherds. And thread is of being best thread on vodkanet.

>>25538286
slav is best pony

Mighty Slavic bump

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>>25538752
>Slav
>5.56mm
fify

>>25538286
he recruits the main 6 to help him and his country invade turkey and remove kebab.

>>25542090
Bitch, I own 8

>>25551249
>only owl and sniper.
I can't breathe

Help

Don't let this thread die!

Writefag we need you!

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>>25551599
>now that ivanon is of possessings of vodka, ivanon show color horse how drink like russian
you see color horse, when drinking the vodka you not do the sippings, because it is of taking longer to becoming drunk
>ivanon has takings of large drink, bottle becomings near empty from drink.
>"doesnt the taste ge-, oh. sorry. doesnt the taste ge-."
>ivanon starts the laughings
purple horse havings the hiccup from small girl sip! that is of entertainings to ivanon!
>"hahah whats wrong Twilight cant handle yeer, -hiccup- draank?"
>small horses not of resilience to drink like russian. already beginnings to start the slurrings and wobble
>"whoa.. thats some pretty strong stuff.. what kind of cider is that?"
as ivanon was of speaking previously! is VODKA! V-A-O-D-KYEA!
>purple horse is having the standings trouble as she fallings to blue horse
>then they both of fallings.
>"that vod-.. that vodk-- vodka is strong."
i am of knowings purple horse. ivanon only drinkings of best.
>"heeey twilight~ you were supposssed to help me win my b-bet. but you didnt... you didnt."
>purple horse is of gasping
>"oh my goshhh, im.. im sorry rainbow. ill, ill do some magic then.. then you can win your.."
>purple horse is pause moment before continue
>"bet."
no, bet was of losings. is too late.
>"no, shh.. shhh! she can do it."
dont be shushings of ivanon blue horse.
>"shhhh its ok.. she can do magic."

>>25558499
He has returned!

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>>25558499
>ivanon is of holdings out bottle
ok color horses.. if magic is of exist, vodka will fill with more vodka.
>ivanon of knowings this not possible, but chance for more vodka? why of not?
>purple horse walks to vodka and take sit on floor
>"alright. just give me a sec-second."
>ivanon is watchings as purple horse does concentrating, blue horse too busy being floor caterpillar to be walkings over
>purple horse rod is beginnings the glow, then vodka does glowings.
>right before ivanons eye, little vodka become more vodka!
>ivanon jaw go to floor, ivanon sit without speech.
>...
>...
>...
purple horse..
>ivanon shakings now full bottle
is vodka?
>little purple horse is shakings of head. hair getting in face but is not of carings.
>"mmmmmhhhmmmm"
>"hehehe seeee? i told ya she can do ma-magic."
>blue floor caterpillar horse starts the wigglings and wobblings to get closer, is of cute. like baby deer.
>ivanon is of fastly takings the drinks
it is vodka...
>it is of genuine, and ivanon knows vodka.
>ivanon quick to grab purple horse in hug. like big Russian bear.
you are the greatest of magics purple horse! you are of makings vodka!
>purple horse is of quiet talking from russian bear hug
>"well. magic is my special talent."
oh that is of correct! ivanon make bet. and ivanon keepings it.
>ivanon takings of the extra magazine out bag and toss to blue horse who is of trying to catch with hooves.
>but she not catch with hooves, she catch with face.
>is still good catch.

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>>25558658
>blue horse caterpillar
that's the cutest thing I've had the pleasure of visualizing today

>>25558658
purple horse of magic you are my greatest ally

>>25538457
'Hurr x in equestria' in equestria

Wat do?

i am of havings the writing block.

I is doing the bumping of thread

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>>25558499
>>25558658
Your story is of make me much drunk. For to read properly I must beings of pour myself much vodka. Spasiba comrade!

>>25558897
that is good of idea! i get vodka. idea come soon.

>>25558931
What beings your favourite brand?

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>>25558931
Twilight accidentally ivans kalishnikova
Pic related
What ivan do?

>>25558949
i am of residing in states. so i do the drinkings mostly of Smirnoff.

>>25558999
Smirnoff confirmed best

>>25558999
I of meanings trips confirms somethings... but of the really bro, it comes in the plastic bottle, no glass, no class. You should of try the Russian Standard. Wee more monies here in the U S of A, but of so much more smoothness.

I have Smirnof in my fridge, and Russian Standard on my shelf, currently getting much drunk from the Russian Standard.


Ahhh what am I of doings trying to recommend you vodka. Vodka is vodka, drink to be merry no? Drink what you wills.

>>25558879
Make kebab in equestria for removing of.

Comrades where can I find of more ivan going to equastria? I know there is of more pastebink link please

HOW DO I STALKER? Shit is at 50%

>>25559992
Anu. Cheeki then breeki

>>25599999

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>>25559992

>>25559992
Comrade Vlanon, CHEEKI BREEKI

>>25560057
>>25560017
EEE V DAAAMKEEEEE?

>>25558986
>kalishnikova pony
Well, now i really have seen it all.

Press F to Cheeki Breeki

>>25560643
A нy чики бpики и в дaмкe!

>>25558776
this

>>25560643
F

btw
is this on a pastebin or do i need to make a screencap?
got nothin else to do right now

>>25561044
Paste it later, breeki with us now

>>25561049
alright

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>>25558931
With haste comrade, you should also have the ponies all slowly convert into slav versions. A russian fluttershy sounds great. Also if the kebab thing proves hard to write Ivanon could be of installing glorious communist regime in equestria.

THREAD THEME SONG

other suggestions

Soviet red alert music, especially hell March or ra3's
Cheeki breeki
Russian choir music

>>25561087
Faint bandits song from stalker playing in the background

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>>25559992
Cheeki, then breeki

Also who else thinks Ivanon should eventually fight nazi pones? Or maybe griffons or something, there appearance fits in really well with nazi eagle imagery

>>25561111
Quads confirm facist fighting

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>>25561099
Dubs confirm fluttershy is a good comrade

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>>25561111
Ivanon on his way to remove kebab and griffons

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>>25560643
F

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>>25561138
I shall be of waitings until then.

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>>25561138

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>>25561136
WHY MUST YOU BE OF POSTING RUINED KALASHNIKOV IS INSULT TO GREAT MIKHAIL

>>25561168
Was of shitty capitalist ak in the first place, if anything it shows the degeneracy of capitalism

>rape

bumpings

Ivanon is of died
We are of the paying respects using the ф button

Ivanon is not of the die. Just having small issue with Kalashnikov. Will do color letters later. Ivanon apology

>>25565455
>small issue with Kalashnikov
Kalashnikov is fine. Issue must be of Ivanons doing

In Soviet Russia
4CHAN BUMPS YOU

save

Do you guys even cheeki breeki?

>>25566048

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I'm dissapointed

>>25558658
Make them get so drunk that they dont wake up til 83 days later

>>25565455
Did get dick stuck in clipazine agian? Ivan you can not be of doing this. Das gay.

>>25565455
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLY-KCJdEdE

>>25571702
Valkyria is shit post rebalance
I like the CAR-4 more, I’m sorry

>>25571727
>valkyria loses 5 damage and gains double ammo
>bad
sure, I've grown away for more powerful weapons, but I still love the weapon, although it was rather OP for a silenced weapon at the time

>Are we waiting in vein for Ivanon?

>>25571898
Ivanon probably polishings of Kalashnikov. Do not of worry, comrade.

>>25571898
Do not be of sayings those words

boom

Oraa