Princess Applejack

>>25529408
1. https://archive.today/f0oQ3
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30. https://archive.today/0rb3f .5 version here https://archive.today/Y5NYc
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51.desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20740272/
52.desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20855918/
53.desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20948915/
54.desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21045744/
55.desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21159397/
56.desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21278151/
57.desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21405993/
58.desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21510114/

>>25529412
59. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21619890/
60. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21715642/
61. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21858107/
62. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21945390/
63. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22007346/
64. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22086019/
65. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22152409/
66. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22223659/
67. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22274618/
68. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22337892/
69. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22395817/
70. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22458614/
71. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22571091/
72. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22651546/
73. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22736626/
74. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22828938/
75. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22908818/
76. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22963669/
77. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23030892/
78. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23102420/
79. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23200765/
80. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23282365/
81. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23369224/
82. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23443675/
83. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23520799/
84. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23581564/
85. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23656624/
86. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23764354/
87. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23878745/
88. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23973977/
89. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24059974/
90. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24160401/
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97. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24626415/
98. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24690967/
99. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24759374/

>>25529420
100. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24814923/
101. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24894930/
102. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24958159/
103. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25046878/
104. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25132701/
105. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25222467/
106. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25301100
107. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25385359
108 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25460161

Here is full archive of ALL the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack


Curious what happened last time, or just wanna know what happens during an active thread?
Check out the previous thread here:https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25385359
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki


Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started?
Check out the character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650

We have begun working on a big project to fix up old stories and make this crazy world more coherent and accessible to new readers who don't like the thread format.
Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing
And finally, while most of the thread is very much clop free, we have a pastebin in case you're feeling a little more naughty with your writing, find it here. http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessAJAfterDark please upload any like it to a pastebin so they can be added out of thread.
And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!

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First for Applejack and Pinkie

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Pinkie Preview Prophecies
>JJ tries to become one with his balls
>Trixie’s hat catches on fire
>Applejack finds a new use for her rope
>Vekir hitches a ride back to Canterlot with a mysterious traveling pony
>the CMC try to get directions from a Yak
>My sisters try to get in on my media empire
>Daw finds something in Pommel’s office to keep her occupied
>the ponies of Appaloosa share a meal with the buffalo tribe
>Chrysalis teaches the others how to tap-dance
>substitution fanservice

>>25529460
>Earth ponies
>For the thanksgiving thread

Oddly appropriate.

>>25529430
Ran out of room for the threads there?

Though admittedly that does make it look more like a tree trunk.

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Something that got brought up last thread that I didn't get a chance to chime in on, what exactly should Rarity's punishment for this be?

Should we just sort of do what this is now and let her off because technically it was the right thing to do, or does that undermine her whole point if she doesn't face any consequences?

Did she get off too lightly?

>>25529632
Considering the sentence for Sunset was going to be either banishment by AJ or death by Changeling and her punishment for thinking it was to be 18's chew toy. 5 mins in a cell is not going to equate. but where to draw the line I don't know, so let's just give Rarity a reason to not complain about hypocrisy by being a hypocrite in her own right. I vote no more punishment

OOCO
>AJ
"Celestia'
~~~

>Tia? Got a question.

"And I have the hunger. For a cake... MADE OF PONIES!"

DUN DUN DUNNNN!

>...M'kay, just try not ta' get any bones in there, ya' might choke.

"I want you to choke on something alright."

>But mah' question is, is that two headed dog related ta' Cerberus?

"Is... is the what?"

>The two headed dog.

"There's a dog with TWO HEADS!?"

>..Ya' can't be serious.

"That is so weird!"

>Really?

"I've never seen anything like that, never! I can't even fathom it! Is it big, small, middle sized?"

>Little bit taller than a pony?

"Marvelous!"

>Only reason Ah' bring it up is Ah' think we need ta' be regulating magical pets-

"I have to see this! A two headed dog! A TWO HEADED DOG!"

>Oh, uh... have fun?

"I have to see this!"

GONE!

>...Hope she has fun with tha-WAIT A GADDANG MINUTE!... DANG IT CELESTIA GET BACK HERE!

>>25529678
>so let's just give Rarity a reason to not complain about hypocrisy by being a hypocrite in her own right. I vote no more punishment

So, just to clarify, don't have Rarity get punished so she can't call hypocrisy?

>>25529731
Yes, she can't get on her high horse if she is getting the perks of her status too

>>25529632
It does kinda make her whole speech a little, I dunno, lesser?

Like, she thinks they're not gods and shouldn't be treated any different and yadda yadda yadda, but then when it comes time for "You just compromised someones' NATIONAL SECURITY" it's like "Well I'm an EOH and my best friend is your sister so hows about I not get locked up"

>>25529566
>Though admittedly that does make it look more like a tree trunk.
...We...you mean we're growing our own tree of stories?

Apples to the motherfucking core.

>>25529408
>The one thanksgiving related pic that you can't see her head or back.

Clever girl...

>Crystal Pony
"Cp2"
~~~~~

>I just feel so... Betrayed, you know?

"Right?"

>My trust is just gone.

"Completely gone."

>I'm questioning so many things.

"Big, life defining questions."

>Like, was I ever really masterbating to her, or just the changeling her? Which one was I getting going for?

"..."

>...

"..."

>... You know?

"... I think we should see other ponies."

>We're not dating.

"I know."

>>25529989
Hey! Those are important fucking questions, as anyone who has fallen for a trap can attest!

Who you spank it to and if they're them matters, damn it!

>>25529632
I say let her off, just cause... Yeah, this fucking needed to happen. Why punsish her? Rairty was right!

>Spike
"Canterlot Citizens"
~~~

>Alright, everybody calm down!

"Oh sweet Celestia we're all going to be put into pony pods!"

"I don't want to be a sex slave!... Mostly!"

>I said CALM DOWN!

"Don't eat me! Eat my kid instead, they're more tender!"

"Honey!"

"Survival of the fittest, Leonard!"

>I SAID CALM DOWN!

"What are we going to do!?"

"Will fire help?"

"How could it possibly-"

BLAMLBLAMBLAMBLAM!

"""""""....""""""""

>I. Said. CALM. DOWN.

"...OH DEAR FAUST THAT DRAGON HAS A GUN!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

>...This did not go as planned.

OOCO
>Spike
‘Chrysalis’
“Twilight”
(Shiny)
{77}
-Celly-
In a wave of fire they reappeared in the bathroom they had left from finding it occupied by a number of concerned ponies.

(There you two are! Finally! We were getting worried.)

Spike grunted and burped up the banner balling it up and chucking it at 77.

>Catch.

{Ah…Thank you. It has been so long…}

>Well, patience is a virtue and all that. Now if you’ll excuse me.

He made to brush past the assembled ponies at the door only to be stopped by shining armor.

(Whoa there buddy! Why don’t you tell us a little of what happened down there…all we got was a hastily written SOS and then silence for some time after we sent the reply.)

>Sigh…Look, things went bad, we nearly died a few times, we barely managed to survive and through pure dumb luck stumbled on the banner because SOMEONE…

His eyes cut over to 77

>Didn’t think to ask their brother who lived down there FOR MONTHS if he might have collected their banner and used it for a memorial. Near the morlocks. Where the caves are actually rather civilized.

{…oops?}

Spike face clawed.

>Oops he says. In any case, I want a nap. So…

His brother didn’t budge.

(So…that’s all? Nothing…nothing elsel?)

Spike gave him his best dead eyed glare.

>…I’m sorry shiny. We forgot to pick you up anything at the gift shop in the hell cave. But if you like, I know a great place to get monster goop if want some!

“I want some!”

A purple hoof shot into the air and all eyes locked on her. Most in disbelief. Some in weary acceptance.

She blushed as her hoof slowly lowered

“Well…I do…”

>I know twi…I know…Look, can I go now? I’m exhausted!

(Sigh…ok.)

The stallion moved to the side while spike brushed past him.

(guess that plan was a bust)

It was a whisper. So quiet if the dragon hadn’t been next to him he would have missed it…but he was.

>Plan?

He turned to look at the stallion a dangerous look in his eye.

>>25530297
(…What?)

>You said this plan was a bust. What plan?

(Er…no I didn’t. I said this PLANT was a MUST. I mean have you seen celly’s bushes? Gorgeous! Need to get a few for the empire…heheh)

>No. No you did not. What. Plan.

(…there is not plan! You’re being paranoid buddy! C’mo-)

‘Shining Armor’

The voice was sweet. The green flame radiating around the queen who had finally broken her strange silence…

less so.

‘I think you should answer the question.’

(Well….)

‘Now.’

(The plan to get you and spike to bury the hatchet by sending you down there?)

>’WHAT!?’

~It was Twilight’s idea!~

“TRAITOR!”

~I can’t let them kill bubble horse! He isn’t immortal like us!~

“STILL!”

>’ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS!?’

‘THAT HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST ASININE’

>STUPID

‘INSANE’

>RIDICULOUS

‘POORLY PLANNED’

>NEEDLESSLY DANGEROUS

‘NEGLIGENT’

>SORRY EXCUSE FOR A PLAN I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE!

‘SCREW YOU, SCREW YOU, SCREW YOU, and ESPECIALLY SCREW YOU SPARKLE!’

>Chrysalis, get us out of here!

A wave of green, and they were gone.

(…well that could have gone better)

~Says the blabblermouth!~

“Really BBBFF, whatever they do to me for this? You’re paying for it”

{I just want you to know, she’s most likely going to execute me. I was going to get married…now I’m going to die. Thanks.}

The others all stomped out of room leaving the stallion alone.

(…could have gone better)
***
Two voices conversed in low whispers

>Ok so when I said out of here…

‘What? We’re out.’

>Right, but…five feet outside just past the back wall wasn’t what I had in mind…

‘You weren’t specific!’

>Oh crap! They’re coming out, be quiet!

They were silent a moment as the figures passed.

>…ok, look. I know a place. C’mon and follow me.
***
In a quiet booth in the back of pony joe’s an unlikely pair vented to each other.

>I mean really, WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!

(2/4?)

>>25530307
‘I dunno, I just. Don’t. know.’

>hey, two of our friends are fighting! Let’s throw them down the murder hole! That’ll fix it!

‘I mean even *I* can see the flaws in this one. ME. Poster child of ‘Plans Gone Wrong Inc.’

>To be fair your plans are actually pretty good. You just get blindsided near the end because they rely too heavily on everything going ‘just as planned’. You need more flexibility.

‘Oh I assure you, I have plenty of…flexibility…’

>…not touching that with a 10 foot pole.

‘HAH! 10 foot? Maybe in 900 years kiddo!’

>I…that is..y’know…sigh…

His head thumped on the table.

>I concede. You win. You win the innuendo. You winuendo.

‘Winuendo...I like that one.’

She pulls out her dictionary and begins flipping through it.

‘Wa…we…wi…’

His head popped back up.

>I made that one up!

‘What!? Oh screw you! You know I have a problem!’

>…you’re ridiculous.

‘And you’re one to talk?’

>Fair enough…so…

A more somber mood settled over them.

>About what I said back in the morlock village…

‘Forget it.’

>Just like that?

‘You were tired, drained, and just seen the graves. It’s understandable.’

>Well yeah but…

‘Spike? The murder hole was apparently their plan A. Do you really want to see their plan B?’

A shiver ran through them both.

>Ok, so. Yeah…maybe forgiveness is a good plan after all. Still…

‘Look. I f you want to make it up to me, get me another one of these things…’

She rattled her glass.

>heh. No problem. Hey Joe! Another Decaff mochachino on my tab!

+Comin’ up+

Moments later the beverage was deposited on the table.

+Order up+

>Thanks joe.

‘Sweet love what is in this stuff…It’s like crack!’

>The stallion loves his job.

‘He must. Pretty sure I could feed my hive in this place if Shiny ever changes his mind. It’s just…so dense!

+Heh, I don’t just love my job. I’m MARRIED to my job!+

(3/4)

>>25530315
>And a very understanding mare on 34th and main

+You promised not to tell!+

>Noooo you ASKED me to promise not to tell. Which is silly, because she’s amazing.

+But the customers might think I’m losing my dedication!+

>Or that you’re certifiable for thinking that is something any of us worry about.

+Bah! One more like that and your tabs cut off!+

‘WHOAWHOAWHOA Let’s not get crazy! I intend to exploit that tab!’

>…somehow not even surprised. Don’t you have money?

‘And? How exactly would I Keep my money if I Spent it?’

>…sigh…

+Don’t worry spike, I’ll keep her honest

>pretty sure you’d be the first

+Heh.’Scuse me. Other customers+

Chrysalis stirred her drink before taking hearty slug

‘So…what now?’

>I dunno. Sleep? I’m thinking sleep sounds good. Maybe even hibernation.

‘I meant in terms of revenge. We can’t let them get away with this’

>…Actually? I can. I really can.

<PBTBTBTTBTBB!>

‘What!?’

>And now I’m all sticky. Thanks for that. JOE? WE NEED ANOTHER.

‘What do you mean you can!? They nearly got us killed! Oh thanks’

+Welcome+

>Honestly? It’s kind of an improvement for me.

‘…How.’

>Used to be they just ignored me half the time. At least now they care enough to try something crazy that nearly gets me killed. Eh, I figure I’ll let them find their own ways to make it up to me.

‘…Are you sure? We could tag team them, a one two punch sort of thing. It could be a team building exercise!’

>…by attacking the other members of said team.

‘…Yes?’

>Last, best, and most successful of the changeling queen’s everyone. “Let’s build the team through internal strife!”

‘Said the one of the only civilized dragons in Equestria who still managed to succumb to his own greed and nearly flatten his home town. How’s that glass house?’

>…a little broken now. A little broken…

The night wound on as the pair talked themselves down from their ordeal
(4/4)

>>25530323
You know, it's a little abrupt for her, but I like this. This is like how it used to be with her and him.

I like this.

>>25529989
This one made my night. Like damn, I snorted like a bitch in my office.

>>25530379
It is pretty chill, I like it too.

LAST THREAD RECAP, RARITY WHAT DID YOU DO EDITION!
>Cadence, despite her wishes not to, is at last forced to speak to all the citizens of the CE about what she's been doing. She admits everything, from how little she's done, to how much 18 has done, all the while insisting that she hasn't been replaced or mind controlled. She admits, to everyone's horror, that she doesn't know how any of this works.
>She pleads with them not to lose hope or trust, but it seems not to be working. They start talking and seem to be leaning towards kicking her out, and the changelings with her.
>Until, out of nowhere yet again, Rarity shows up!
>She tells the crowd she didn't reveal this so they wouldn't believe in Cadence, but to show that they weren't gods, or special, or anything like that. They're regular ponies, who struggle sometimes and need help. She admits that she did it the wrong way, but her intentions were real.
>She points out that, despite their fears, their lives have been getting better and they've been in more comfort than ever before.
>Eventually, her words get through to them, and the ponies decide not to impeach her or retaliate.
>But the trust is gone.
>Resolved, Cadence decides right then that if they needed her to be more... she was going to be more.
>During this, Chrysalis insists she doesn't want to go anywhere that Cadence and Shining aren't.
>Afterwards, while debating over what it is they need to do, they all realize that, right now, they don't need to do anything as nobody has made any requests, and acting in preparation for windfall or the like would be an accidental admission of guilt.
>So, they can't do anything but wait.
>Celestia then shows up, happy because she has a lava cake big enough to ride... and of course, now has all that ruined.
>This is why she is never happy.
>Rarity isn't sorry for what she did, and Twilight isn't mad at her.

1/3just three

>>25530887
>Cadence puts Two back to bed, and explains to her what happened. When Two says she's a good princess, Cadence resolves to prove her right.
>42 speaks to Chrysalis, revealing that she knows Rarity was right, but she still wants to hit her.
>After she leaves, Chrysalis is confronted by Shining to make sure she's not doing anything for revenge. She's not, but she is looking at the orb and saying she's going to protect her lings...
>Chitania almost gets called for jury duty.
>Actarius is still oblivious to 32 and 88.
>29, still moping from his interaction with 56, meets up with 32, who points out that the real reason he is sad is because he did too good of a job as a 'cousin'. 56, despite being a scatterbrained ninny, somehow found purpose and guidance thanks to him, and now 29 is worried he won't be needed anymore.
>32 has a long talk with him, eventually putting those fears to rest, all the while hitting on 29, and 29 heads back to Ponyville.
>Back in Ponyville, Sunset and him meet up, and find they have a mutual love of the fine arts, a rare thing.
>A budding friendship begins. A friendship wherein Sunset asks him to look like a human, just cause.
>Spitfire is driving Dash crazy, as she says to AJ.
>Some of the changelings get a little tipsy thanks to Treehugger.
>7's experiments continues with Fluttershy's help.
>the CMC come across an old guard who has been fighting 'droids' for years. Instead of being crazy, he's actually fighting golems and has just been calling them the wrong name... yay?
>Back in Canterlot, Fuzzy and Buzz accidentally are the first ones to break the news of what happened in the CE. Things... do not go well.
2/3it'snotsobad

>>25530903
>Canterlot is freaking out.
>Then Ponyville is freaking out.
>Then a Wonderbolt tells AJ, while freaking out.
>Then AJ muttering 'fuck' to herself.
>Then The Wonderbolts are dealing with Canterlot freaking out, while dealing with their own suspicions
>And Luna has no idea what's going on.
>Then AJ stops saying 'fuck' and starts freaking out
>Then 29 points out that Ponyville is going to freak out.
>Then the Wonderbolts get worse all while wondering what it would be like if DASH had to get help like that
>Then Spitfire is freaking out despite the CE not freaking out
>Then a mob goes up to eh changeling embassy while freaking out and freaking out Actarius
>Then Screwloose is not freaking out, just finding it impressive a changeling ran a country
>Then Pommel and the guards are freaking out and Pommel wants the guards to guard the changelings from those freaking out.
>Then Spike wakes up and sees the freaking out
>Then Discord is enjoying the freaking out
>Then the CE changelings are noticing the freaking out and bro-hoofing
>And, finally, AJ's freakout reaches max freakout and she snaps.
>It's going to be a long day....
>OOCO Chrysalis wakes up, and an irritated due to love drain Spike brings her to the Morlock village, where they find the graves of the old changelings who were sent down there. She has the bodies dug up and burned, despite Spike's protests, in order to preserve their changeling tradition, and then they reclaim the banner. Afterwards, Spike reveals that he had already been in contact with the others and gotten hold of some supplies, including a love-harness. Using this, they head back to the surface.

Sorry if I missed anything, last thread jumped around a lot and I wanted to keep the recap chronological.

OOCO
>Spike
‘Celestia’

Following Shining Armor’s…faux pas the various ponies involved in the deception were doing what they could to make things up to the pair after how wrong they had gone.
Currently, it was Celestia’s turn with Spike and they were doing that which she loved best…that she was willing to admit to…having cake.

‘Oh my yes, triple fudge was an excellent choice…shall we try the seven flavor rainbow spice next?’

The dragon sighed.

>…sure, I guess.

‘…What troubles you my little dragon?’

>Nothing. Don’t worry about it.

‘Ahem. Let’s try that again. What is troubling you?’

The smile on her face said compassion, but her eyes told him this was not the face of mercy.

>…I screwed up.

‘Oh?’

>Princess you’ve heard from both me and chrysalis by now what happened down there, I nearly got us killed!

‘My understanding is that you were not exactly alone in that.’

>It was my use of the grenades that brought the cave down on us.

‘And her pettiness to call out a horde.’

>I was being a dick!

‘Because she’s never done anything like that?’

>It doesn’t excuse it. I screwed up. I keep screwing up. I lost to flash on the airship, I let my pride nearly get my team killed when Chitania attacked, I provoked her on the train…

‘You brought my nephew back alive and eventually started him on the path of rehabilitation when no one else even tried. You fought well at partyland.

>WITHOUT my team. DT wound up leading them.

‘Against what was essentially just one more giant chaos monster while you were running interference for the team dealing with the actual SOURCE of the threat.’

>Well that’s a nice bit of spin. And what about Cordyceps? I attacked seven! He was trying to help!

‘Which no one bothered to tell you despite your…animosity with the queen. You were suspicious of her agent. Hardly imprudent.’

(1/2)

>>25531027
>But handled wrong. Like so many other situations, and it led to me being one of the biggest threats at that time.

>…I just keep messing up.
‘…’
‘Spike…are you under the impression that you need to be perfect? I hate to burst your bubble but I’ve yet to meet a perfect anything yet…I mean have you SEEN the rest of us? Luna never does anything outside her own narrow realm, Applejack is stubborn to the point of madness, I don’t think I need to elaborate on Rarity’s mistakes, Twilight went mad with ‘Twience’ doing whatever she could without questioning if she should, Shiny was an awful guard captain and only became a decent prince with help from 42 and 18, Chrysalis can’t stop plotting to save her life, and all of us have brought terrible danger down on Equestria at one time or another. Except shiny. I think. Maybe he’s just better at hiding it…’

>…what about you?

‘…I’m perfect. Of course.’

>Snrk!

‘My point is that you are in good company when it comes to making mistakes. Living for over 1000 years does give one the benefit of experience, and believe me when I tell you it is less about whether you make mistakes, and more about whether you learn from them.’

>But have I learned from them?

‘You improved your combat prowess by orders of magnitude after losing to flash.’

>But I keep flying off the handle. Against Chitania, Seven, and the horde down below…

‘Well then…what are you going to do about it?’

>I don’t know. That’s the problem.

‘Hmm…do you want me to tell you what to do?’

>…Sure.

‘Too bad.’

>…What!?

‘Like I said, I have been doing this for over a millennium Spike. I’ve seen a lot of promising young ponies come and go. I’ve learned that talent needs training but sometimes…it needs experience instead. I’m afraid you’ll have to find your own answer on this one.’

>Then why even offer!?

(2/3)

>>25531045
‘To get you to start thinking about it. You’ve recognized a problem, what’s the solution? What other problems are there?’

The dragon slumped in his chair.

>Well that’s a comforting thought…

‘Hm, some advice though? Stop being so hard on yourself. Accept that you will make those mistakes to learn from, and if it goes too pear shaped, you have a lot of ponies willing to help. Punishing yourself won’t resolve anything. Besides, I believe in you.’

>…

‘Oh, and do start working on your hand to hand a bit more hm? That served far better against Chitania than our guns did.’

>…That was the combined knowledge of dozens if not hundreds of masters….

‘If only you had thousands to years to learn it all. If. Only.’

>…

‘Also would it kill you to wash a little more thoroughly behind your ears? I swear you’re trying to start a diamond mine back there.’

>…

‘And maybe you could-‘

>That’s enough of that, ENGARDE!

Leaping on to the table with a cake knife held like a rapier the dragon challenged the princess.

‘…So. It has come to this…’

She levitated a cake knife of her own in golden magic.

‘I should warn you. I am quite skilled in the ways of the cake knife.’

>I should warn you…I am not left clawed.

‘…Doesn’t that come after the fighting starts?’

>…uhh…ENGARDE!

And thus was battle joined.

(3/3)

>>25531060
Awww... that's weirdly cute.

>>25531060
>Celly offering good advice again
Been too long since that happened.

>>25531060
Damn it, Celly! Stop trying to make a Kung-Fu arms race!

If he starts mastering shit, then Chitty is gonna be like "Fuck, I guess I have to step up my game", then before you know it everybody was kung fu fighting! Kicks fast as lightning!

It's just a little bit freighting, is all I'm trying to say.

>>25531267
Never fear. They have expert timing.

>>25531304
Oh sure, it sounds all nice, till the funky Chinamares from Funky Chinatown show up, then they're gonna be chopping men up and chopping men down!

>>25531352
Don't judge their culture!
It's an ancient chineighs art. They all know their parts.

>>25529510
Hey, hey Pinkie, what about Ra-Ra?

>>25529989
Dude has his priorities right.

>>25531267
I wonder if she would enjoy it? She hasn't had a real consistent challenge since her old battle buddy died. Maybe she'll like the new change of pace?

>>25532576
Not if she might lose, you would think. She likes fighting but she loves winning more.

>>25531599
Ra-ra-sis-boom-ba? I honestly forgot about her when I wrote this up in the ten mins between bump and posting, but don't let that stop you, bring her in if you want her.

Good night, thread.

>>25533263
Good night, buddy

>>25532886
Eh....I mean, it would take quite some time for him to get up to that level both in terms of size and skill...but even if/when he did he wouldn't be able to fly or more importantly regenerate which were also abilities he needed in that fight.

It's still fine advice. But on it's own it would not be enough.

>>25534602
He also could make a club, or that spring move. Here now that I think about it, he relied pretty heavily on that stuff

>>25534602
Interesting though, the flying was something even the fungus couldn't overcome. Spike is going to have to think of a way around that. Unless he can spontaneously grow wings like he did in the fight

OOCO
>AJ
"???"
~~~

>FINALLY! Mah' bathroom all ta' mahself! Just gonna sit down in mah tub and...

dunnuhnuhnuh...

>...And just enjoy...

Dunnuhnuhnuh....

>...There ain't no way.

Nuh nuh nunnuh.

>No... friggen...

Dundundundunnuhhhnuhhhhnuuuhhhhh!

>GAD DANG IT

DUNDUNDUNDUN-

SPLASH!

"RAWR! AH'M A SHARK! NOM!"

>....Two, why are ya' in mah tub?

"Shunuh auhn auhite-"

>Without a chunk o' mah hoof, please.

"PTOOO! Shiny and Auntielestia are in mah tub and Mommy said I needed a bath and Shiny and Auntielestia like it so much over here so done!"

>...

"..."

>...Airtight logic.

"Ah'm a shark."

>That you are.

"...Can I keep being a shark?"

>Do you want me ta' die?

"I wasn't gonna eat all o' ya'!"

>...Not the bite that was gonna kill me.

"Soooo..."

>...Dunnuh...

"EEE!"

SPLASH!

>...Friggen heartattack will get to me first.

>>25535431
Now THAT is happy bathtime fun.

>>25534602
Clearly, he needs DT to make him some dragon sized power armor.

>>25535752
Seeing as Chitty has been looking into robotics, do we really want to start a Godzilla-Gundam arms race?

>>25535917
>Lets see Shiny steal my thunder now!

>>25535917
.... Yes, I absolutely want that.

Who the fuck doesn't want that?

That is awesome.

>42
"Soldiers"
~~~~

>Now, as I'm sure you all know, there has been a... Reveal.

"We know, we were all there."

>I understand if this has shaken some of your confidence.

"Not really, we actually had a betting pool when this was going to get revealed."

"I won ten bits!"

>This information might be... Troubling to some.

"Sure, anyone not in the know, whatever."

>I'll understand if there are some... Suspicions.

"Yeah, we're super suspicious of that one white pony."

"This all seems too perfect, right?"

"I'm watching her."

"Or at least a part of her."

>Notably, I'll understand if you worry of certain... Loyalties.

"If by that meaning if you're loyal to CE Uni or CE state, sure."

"Go glim broncos!"

"TRAITOR!"

>I'll understand if you want a... Sabbatical, from my training.

"Dear holy crystal do we."

"My hooves still hurt. They never stopped hurting."

>If any trust has been shaken... I'm sorry.

"Huh. Didn't know she could actually say that."

"Expected explosions, yeah."

>Not that it means anything coming from me, your guest instructor, but you are dismissed... And I wish you well. Good day.

"....... So did she just forget we knew, have known, and don't give a fuck?"

"All about the drama, that mare."

>>25536293
Zero,

Fucks.

>>25536527
Still gotta look professional.

Appearances are everything to a punch bug.

>Spike
"???"
~~~

>Okay, Spike, THINK!... I know! I need to assemble the A-team! I just need to get Forty Two- wait, shit, Empire, and likely dealing with just as big a headache... okay! Seventy Seven, that guy is-... Clear down in Ponyville, dealing with a headache of Ponyville proportions, because those guys are crazy.... I know! Seven! Seven's... probably still off banging that one mare, actually... PJ? I mean, she's not in the A-team, but I'll accept... thaaaaat she is with Applejack, isn't she? Or is she? I have no idea... Uhhhhh...

"Say it."

>Look... Applejack is kind of insisting on...

"Saayyyyy it."

>And it would be really undermining her authority if I...

"Saayyyyyy it."

>Not to mention all the collateral damage that it could cause, and she does a lot of that...

"Buuuuuuuutttttt...."

>...but she is really, really damn good at getting ponies to listen to her.

"Annnnd..."

>...and I need help.

"So, what are you going to do?"

>...I'm gonna go get Diamond Tiara.

"Good job!"

>I guess, but... DAMN IT DISCORD!

"IT WASN'T ME!"

BLOOP!

>...I'm still gonna go through with it. Now, if I was DT, where would I be...

>>25536724
>Going to get the filly with the rocket launcher fetish

Are you HIGH!?

>>25536878
"What is that filly doing?!"

#I'M COMPLETELY SANE AAAAAAAAAH#

[Explosions]

"Wow that sure rekindled my confidence in the ruling classes, I'm going to head home and masturbate"

#SEXY SAVES THE DAY AGAIN AHAHAHAHAHAH#

>>25536912
Don't joke, I have no doubt she would find a way to fix this with her sexy.

>Chitania
"Sunset"
~~

>...Heh.

"Oh, sure, you find the complete collapse of all your species carefully built trust funny. Of course you do! Of course you do, because you are terrible, and only not-terribles think that. And, as we have established, you are not a not-terrible, you're a terrible."

>Nobody ever trusted me.

"Because you are a terrible. Also, irrelevant to the discussion, so you are a dumb terrible too."

>It's entirely relevant. While all of you are freaking out, I'm completely in the same place I was before this all started. A reveal that has thrown so much awry, and yet I remain unaffected. Spearproof... or bulletproof, I guess is the current vernacular.

"..."

>Oh, what now?

"I was almost the one who caused all of this."

>And? What, you want credit?

"It's just... I was sure doing this was the right thing.'

>Now who's the dumb terrible.

"...I still think this is the right thing. Lying to everyone just causes... this."

>No, according to cause and effect, lying to everyone resulted in someone doing their job very well, and nobody being any worse off for it. Telling the truth is what caused this chaos.

"Weird, coming from you."

>You think it's weird a changeling sees the benefit of lying to the stupid masses?

"...Point."

>...

"They aren't stupid."

>My evidence to the contrary, all of this.

"They're not stupid, they're just afraid. And if they are stupid, it's our job to make them smart."

>Your job. My job is to laugh at this, and I am damn good at my job. I'm employee of the fucking year.

"Don't you care a little bit about your species?"

>I did once. Didn't work out so well.

"...Fair enough."

>...Some of them won't get smarter, you know, ever.

"Yeah... but some of them will."

>If they live that long.

"Sure."

>...

"...You're pretty terrible, you know."

>Well then, I fit right in with the other royals, don't I?

"...Guess you do."

>Though, not too much. At least I do my job.

"..."

>HA HA!

>>25536974
>Blow up ponies
>Ponies are no longer around to complain
>Problem solved

It's so simple!

Didn't read anything in the thread yet, but holy fuck that's a lot of links in the beginning. You fuckers take this shit real srs. Even got a wiki and stuff... Now I have to know what this is all about.

>>25537253
A one-off troll thread counter trolled into oblivion.
We have
>One continuous and intertwining story
>A ton of OC's
>minor characters getting some spotlight
>a mix or story arcs and random jokes
>no Anon

>>25537253
>Now I have to know what this is all about.

You want a quick bullet point?

>It's one long, long, LONG story, not a bunch of prompts and such.
>It's mostly one-shot comedy sketches, with big 'arcs' every now and again that take up up to 30+ posts in some cases
>It's still primarily comedy based
>There is no Anon
>Or smut, outside of the post thread 90 stuff in the PA-AD links in the fourth post.

>>25537136
I can't tell if ice cold or just pragmatic...

>>25537381
Both. To her, this type of shit has been on its way for a while. It doesn't surprise her because she already lived through the quick turns of ponies. And She also gives 0 fucks about anyone not named Sweet Note or under the alias 13.

>>25537445
This.

She knew it was going to happen, had been saying it from the start. She never thought this would work, not once.

She's lived through the last hammer drop, she was ready for this one.

>>25537445
>or under the alias 13.

...Did we ever find out what her real name is?

>>25537803
We joked about what to name her (Punchtania) but 13 is insistent on being 13 and Chitty hasn't called out her name AT ALL. So no, we have no given name for 13

>18
"???"
~~~

She was angry.

>Love-damned-skull-fucking-stupid-ass-moronic-little-

If she hadn't had the furious scribbling of paperwork to keep her occupied, it was likely she would have gone mad.

>-thinking-she-needs-to-help-fuck-you-wrecking-my-shit-not-helping-so-fucking-not-helping-

She should, by all measures, be getting ready for bed, not that she thought for a second she would actually be going to sleep, but the fury had taken hold, and rest was simply not meant to be.

>-fuck-you-fuck-you-fuck-you-I-was-happy-I-was-fine-my-date-was-going-fine-fuck-you-fuck-you-fuck-

Which is why, in her bitterness over her lost time of joy and yet another 'magical' night ruined by idiots who she now loathed, she didn't even notice when her door creaked open ever so slightly.

Now, this was something most changelings would gawk at, it was a sign of nothing less than reckless stupidity that a changeling would allow any to sneak up on them, even if they are lost in themselves. That an infiltrator, especially a top infiltrator, would let this happen was madness.

But madness was about where the poor thing was at by now, and miss it she did when someone walked up to her desk, and cleared her throat.

"A-hem."

She tensed, but she did not jump, nor look up. If nothing else, she could keep the shock from being seen in her eyes.

>If you're here to tell me to get out, be warned, I have lasers.

"...Was it you?"

It was going to be one of those nights.

>Yes, whatever the 'it' was, no matter how horrible, that was me.

"It wasn't horrible. It was... amazing. Was it you?"

She sighed, deciding she could keep her eyes glued down below no longer, and instead looked up to meet the other's uncertain gaze.

A gaze she recognized, though she had not seen it in so long.

>...Oh, right, you.

It was, indeed, her.

The temp.

"Was it you?"

>When I did what, exactly?

1/3

>>25538075

Her brow furrowed, and the memory came back.

"When you all came back after that vacation that went wrong. She, er, you? Someone stopped that... thing."

>Ah.

"It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen in my life. I... I struggled for days to keep up, just to keep my head above the water with it, but I couldn't handle even half. None of us could, all three of us, we couldn't even break even... but then it got stopped, it obeyed, and the next day... it was all gone."

>..

"Was that you, or her?"

>...Me.

It was simultaneously exactly what she had been expecting, and the last thing she wanted to hear.

"I see..."

>Does that bother you?

"...I idolized her for a while after that. I... heh, I joined a fanclub. Really! I was part of the Princes Power fanclub. I thought she was the most amazing thing I had ever seen, when she just... stopped that thing, when she looked at all the worst parts of the Empire, all the work that goes in to making it function, and just... made it stop. Just told it to stop, and it obeyed, and by the next day something I couldn't handle in three was just... gone. I thought it was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen."

>You didn't answer my question.

The mare sucked in breath deeply through her nose, letting it out in slow, cool breaths.

"...yes, it bothers me. She was my idol, the best princess to ever be, and now she's..."

>A changeling.

She didn't want to admit it, obviously.

But it was the truth.

>Why didn't you ever come back to try again? After that temp job, I mean. I offered you a full time work, and you turned it down, why?

"Are... are you kidding? I took one look at that stuff and I said... I said, "I can't be that, I can't do that, that's for the princess." I quit this in general, I've been working as librarian's assistant for months now. I hate the job, but... I thought that nobody by a princess could ever do something like this. Be that important, or strong."

>And now?

"...You're just a changeling."

2/3

>>25538097

'Just' was a bit harsh, Eighteen felt, but she didn't fight it.

"Why did you do it? Why do... all of this, for no thanks, no glory, no nothing. You're not a crystal pony, you don't owe this place anything, you could have taken everything and nobody would argue. Why... why do it?"

>...Because this is my home, and I love it.

That's it, that was all she had to say. That was everything, and they both knew it.

>You didn't answer my question again, by the way, very rude. What about now?

She didn't answer, yet again. Very rude.

Instead, she simply put something on the desk. A small piece of paper, very formal, very crisp and proper.

A resume.

"Do... do you still need help?"

>...I'll look it over, and get back to you in the morning. If I'm interested, we'll go from there.

Nothing more to be said. It was up in the air, and fate would decide. Nothing more to be said, and towards the door the mare went.

"...Thank you, by the way. I don't know if anyone else has said it yet... thanks."

She left without another word, leaving Eighteen alone in nothing but silence.

It was only then, in that silence, that the changeling realized the subject of infiltration had never come up once in her questions.

>...Nobody needs to.

Professionally, she put the resume in the "To do" pile. She would get to it, when she had the time.

It was only after she had gotten back to work that she realized that, never before had she interviewed someone for a job.

>...first time for everything...

She wasn't angry anymore.

>>25538105
Damn, talkabout a boomerang plotline.

Just when you think it's gone, WHOOP, comes right back.

OOCO
>AJ
‘Spike’

‘Hey, AJ. You wanted to see me?’

>’Yer late.

‘…for?’

>’Yer job loverboy.

‘Buuuut, I’m on sabbatical?’

She slammed her hooves onto the desk and stood up on her chair.

>Not anymore y’all aren’t! What’s this I hear about ya’ll going down into the caves again? Alone with Chrysalis? And nearly getting’ killed!?

‘Well…I mean it wasn’t on purpose…’

>’Cuz that makes it better! I don’t know if I’m madder at you or Celestia ‘fer not tellin’ me. Ya’ll couldn’t even send a dang ‘ol letter!? Just one lousy ‘heads up AJ, may be headin’ to mah death, maybe ya’ll’d like to see me off’? What the hell Spike!?

‘I…I’m sorry. I didn’t think it’d get so dangerous.’

>Well it did! We nearly lost ‘ya. *I* nearly lost ‘ya! An’ I wouldn’a even had a body to bury this time!

‘How’s that different for all the other times I’ve gone out!? Alone or with the A-Team!? Celestia handed me a weapon and now dangerous situations are what I do! How can I be of any use in them if you don’t allow me the time I need to train myself to be effective!?

>YER’ MORE THAN JUST A DANG ‘OL GUN HAND YOU THICK HEADED LIZARD!

He jerked back at the epithet.

Seeing his reaction, she felt ashamed and slumped down into her desk.

>I…I’m sorry spike. I didn’ mean…

‘AJ…’

>It’s just..you do more around here than that y’know? We got plenty of other fighters. Not near so many planners, organizers, or folks who understand all this mess. An’ I can’t do it all alone.

He walked over to her and put a claw on her shoulder.

‘It’s…it’s ok. You’re stressed and I screwed up. But look at me I’m fi-glk!’

In an instant she had him in a bone crushing hug.

(1/2)

>>25538298
>No. No it ain’t sugarcube. It ain’t ok when you nearly get killed and I don’t even know about it!

She released him, planted him at his own desk, next to her’s as always.

>So ya’ll are gonna sit here, an’ help me, an’ stay where I can see ya’. You wanna work out in yer’ own time that’s fine, but don’t you dare disappear on me! Ya’ hear? …That’s an order.

‘…Can’t order me. I’m on sabbatical.’

>I got powers beyond just bein’ a princess loverboy. Do I have to play the marefriend card?

‘Now that’s!...that’s…’

Finally, spike slumped in defeat.

‘sigh…that’s just cheating.’

>Element o’ Honesty. Not fair play.

‘You’re really upset about this aren’t you?’

>What was ‘yer first clue?

‘…I’m sorry?’

She stared at him

‘I…won’t do it again?’

More staring

‘…Alright, Applebutt. You win…I’m back to work.’
>Hmph. Good Dragon. Now c’mon, there’s plenty t’do.

With that they both fell to. An orange wing draped around the lavender drake just to remind the mare he was where he belonged.

(2/2)

>>25538312
>Do I have to play the marefriend card?

Goddamn that is fucking weird to read.

Like, I get they're pretty affectionate, but it's been so damn long since I saw anything like this from them it's just weird.

>>25538331
...dunno what to tell you man. Cannonicaly to the thread that's where they're at. Not even my doing though I admit I like it.

I thought maybe I was being a little too strong with that bit but then again...it felt a little too weak without it.

>>25538312
He's not even a teenage dragon, AJ. He's a BABY dragon, you cradlerobber. Holy hell, how desperate can you be? Gobout and meet someone your own mental age already!

>>25538421
Ehhh, he's actually mentally at least teenager.

>>25538381
Nah, I get what he means. It's not that it's there, it's that we haven't had pretty much any interaction with them like this for MONTHS.

It's a bit jarring, not to say it's not supposed to be there.

>>25538421
Gotta plan ahead, man.

When Shiny reaches 90, you think his dick is still going to be working? Hell no.

But Spike? Spike's got eternity to go.

>>25538485
That's because the reached an apex with their relationship and beyond mentioning it i ways like the story above they have nowhere to go. They shouldn't get intimate for moral reasons (AJ is the law so statutory don't matter) and until Rarity submits they aren't going to marry.
>>25538421
We started this ship and had many arguments over how Spike getting his mares was okay but 56 was bad touch. We settled on making Spike and AJ jailbait wait. Someone even started a DTxSpike ship an I swear it is mostly because Spike is actually in her age group.

>>25538885
Well...they wouldn't marry until spike is of age anyway. As for Rarity submitting if you mean she backs off...I don't see that happening.

And I thought the DTxSpike thing was cute in its own way. Wouldn't mind seeing it come back.

>>25538922
>As for Rarity submitting if you mean she backs off...I don't see that happening.

I actually do, since we've frankly not really developed that at all and it's mostly been around Rarity just wanting him back after blowing it, not exactly a substantial beginning.

I see her giving up eventually.

>>25538885
>Someone even started a DTxSpike ship an I swear it is mostly because Spike is actually in her age group.

Probably, yeah.

Actually, though? If we do continue that(Not saying we are, it seems to have fallen to the wayside yet again), can we stop having DT get all nervous and blushy around Spike, period?

DYEWTS? Spike is the one who gets all doughy eyed and the like, he's the one who gets all wuvvy duvvy and all that, why do we keep flipping it so that someone else is the one being all buttery and fluffy around him? Especially DT.

Again, fine with that if we wanna ship it, just please have Spike be Spike with it. You don't see Chrysalis going "Aduhhhhh" whenever Shining kisses her, right? Or acts affectionate? No, she charges in there, because it's Motherfucking Chrysalis, and she wants it.

More of that, if it happens at all.

>>25538922
It gets shot down everytime it is brought back up. The last time it worked without anyone complaining is the Gala. Every other time DT apparently isn't written right. Like the most recent example DT says to Rarity "I was over him but now I'm going to take him because I can" shot down for I believe her even talking about relationship with Spike.

But I still think the main reasons are we don't want a ship to fight with AJ that might stand a chance and we made her a robosexual that is going to be using the "special attachment" til the end of time.

>>25538981
That is the Problem with AvR stuff. Rarity lost the war before she lost the weight. The last time we had her be serious on going after him was the caves (her whole reason for going) and day 1 of Partyland (which was coincidentally was when we started throwing bumps in the road for AJxSpike to build off of). Even the stuff with Buttercup wasn't to get in his non existent pants and more she still has an intercom in his gun.

>>25539047
Exactly that was her at the Gala. It was her calling Dibs and telling AJ and Rarity to suck it.

>>25539050
>Like the most recent example DT says to Rarity "I was over him but now I'm going to take him because I can" shot down for I believe her even talking about relationship with Spike.

Wasn't that the story that had Rarity flip the switch into megabitchmode just to spur DT into going for Spike, including having her go "It was very smart of you to stop fighting for Spikey-Wikey, you didn't have a chance." Even though Rarity had no possible way of knowing anything like that was even on DT's mind?

I remember those complaints, people weren't talking about DT, they were complaining that Rarity was so OOC and silly she straight up looked Discorded, and it was obvious that it was just to 'start a fight' to get DT going.

>>25539050
I wrote the thing and it was not shot down just for talking of a relationship. It was because rarity was so far off of her character.

That was the big reason anyway. Also people didn't want a ship war between aj and dt so if we did ever proceed we would not be doing that.

As far as rarity Versus Aj...that usually doesn't work because they are friends who don't want to hurt each other. And polygons are legal so there isn't really any reason to. And they really need to hang out more often, it's been so long since they talked and ...wait are we forgetting someone? Nah. I'm sure it's fine...(to comedic effect)

There really has never been a serious AvR thing because it just a nonissue for several reasons.

>>25538421
>Jailbait wait

I'm still unsure on that

Cos how many other dragons are there in Equestria like Spike? How do the laws apply to him? AJ was around AB's age when he was hatched, and he grew into the age of ??? by the time show canon hit and AJ reached the age of ???????

I'm just more conerned on how to make the chemistry between him and AJ work.

Hell I don't even think the "REEE REEE REEE PEDOJACK" line has any effect one me oweing to the sole concept, develoment and continued existence of fucking 56

>>25539047
Yeah, people tried really hard to push the more 'serious' Spike, and it kind of backfired. It's to the point that writing about him and AJ is just plain boring because we're too afraid to have Spike act like Show-Spike to have him be the buttermuffin who is all doting and sweet and nervous when a mare he likes kisses him or acts nice to him, even though that's his whole show thing.

Probably one of the reasons Shiny's lovelife is still going strong, he can act goofy and silly and strange in a variety of ways. He can make 18 go Bluescreen by kissing her on the cheek, or he can get outdone in an innuendo fight with Chrysalis or just plain be shmoopy with Cadence, and he's been Shmoopy plenty... usually after major disasters where he almost dies, weirdly enough. He can be the goofball that smile stupidly when she kisses him and be all silly, or he can be the one who's making the other one go silly.

Think we need to stop being so worries Spike isn't going to be taken seriously if he acts like his dumbass show self sometimes. Let him be a goddamn silly drake, that's entertaining to read!

>>25539194
Applejack is a silly pony, so why not have Spike be a silly dragon as well.

Fucking both of these qualities got glassed when the thread began though holy shit

>>25539127
Pretty much every AVR fight just ended with them forgetting about him and going to do their own thing anyway.

That's literally how all of their PL interactions went. Rarity was looking for Spike but then went
>Disregard dragon, acquire Appony.

>>25539238
See? Not even an issue, because sharing is caring.

Also, sometimes you just wanna hang out with your friends.

NC
>AJ
"Sunset"
~~~

>...

"Wow, that is an angry mob."

>....

"Very angry."

>...

"We, uh, we gonna do something about this?"

>...

"I think we should."

>...ah' understand, Celly...

"What's that?"

>...ah' understand....

"Riiiight, Maybe-"

>Oh hey!

"GAH!... Sure, fucking NOW you move!"

>Ah' just realized!

"Yeah?"

>Ah' gotta rope.

"...annnnd?"

>And that means Ah' can use it!

"F-for... for what?"

>This!

VRRRP!

"To... hang from a tree? What, are we going to swing?"

>Somethin's gonna be hangin' and swingin', alright.

"Wait, what-"

>WHOOP!

"APPLEJACK NO-"

CRACK

"...Wow, this is going to be hard to explain."

>>25539176
56 was brought up for the double standard of 56 wasn't allowed to be kissed by Luna but we were always one story away from Spike getting laid. These arguments don't hold the weight they did 50 threads ago when we had a cease fire but still. Also Laws apply to him because he is an equestrian citizen (See Changeling Chitania forced nationalized citizen). As for the whole argument of he was hatched x years go so he has to be legal. We don't even know if the show ponies are legal. We are headcanoning that they are in their 20's. However what we do know is what a adolescent Dragon looks like and what a Child dragon looks like. Spike is a child slightly older than the CMC. They can romance all they want, just no fucking unless AJ wants too. Because again AJ is the law she can say it is okay and then it is.

>>25539319
They are all succumbing. Who's next on royalty suicide?

>>25539369
...why does "Royalty Suicide" sound like a game/reality show?

OOCO
>Spike
‘Thoughts’
“Responding thoughts”
(mirror)
~??~


Spike lay in his basket, tossing and turning. No matter which way he twisted he could simply not get comfortable as thoughts raced through his head.

‘I just keep screwing up…’

‘More than just a gun hand!...’

‘always handled wrong’

‘sometimes, experience is what’s needed’

‘notice me!’

‘do you have any idea how rare that was back then!?’
“don’t die on me now!”

‘Why tell me?’
“…I wanted you to trust me”

‘twilight…please stop. Please…come back’
“like, oh mah gosh!”

‘AJ lookout! <Bang!>’
“Spike!”

‘I’ll keep coming down here until you’re ready to talk’

‘Equestria needs you to win the money from this tournament spike’

‘Rarity…you’re not the mare I thought you were…’
“But..Spikey-wikey!”

‘AJ…give me the gun.’
“…<Click>”

>ENOUGH!

He threw off his covers and stumbled to his feet wandering over to his mirror and sink, he rinsed his face off then looked up, catching his own eye.

>…

>I don’t like you.
(Of course not. I’m you. And you suck.)

>No. No I don’t. but you’re always trying to convince me of that. Always in the back of my head whispering about how inadequate I am, what a failure I am, how I can’t possibly succeed…I hate you.

(You hate the truth. You hate me because I speak the truth)

>NO YOU DON’T! You always talk about my mistakes, but you never remember the things I got right!

(Pheh. What’s the miniscule pile of things you get right compared with the mountain of your failures?)

>AGAIN! That’s a lie! I get way more right than I do wrong!

(But you’re never the one who saves the day are you? Always second fiddle at best, often just in the way or barely a speedbump. Face it. You’re almost always out of your league.)

(1/3)

>>25539388
>So what!? Even if I am out classed I can slow them down. Even if it’s just for a second, that second could be the difference between life and death for somebody else!

(Or it could mean nothing.)

>But you don’t know that. You Can’t know that. Because the future is unknowable!

(Hmph. Whatever. You’re just trying to-)

>I’m done.

(Excuse me?)

>I’m done. With you. With your attitude. I’m not listening to you anymore.

(So what? You’re just going to ‘believe in yourself’ never question your ability? Gee…that’s not arrogant)

>And loathing myself and pretending I don’t have the capabilities I do isn’t humility! You…you’re poison. I don’t need you.

(Yes you do. I tell you the truth.)

>No. You make me feel like shit. You make me afraid. You make me desperate and reckless when I don’t need to be. You make me weak and I don’t need you.

>I’m tired of being depressed, and scared, and melancholy. I’m going to choose to be happier. More upbeat. Optimistic.

(Pffft! HAHAAHAHA! Oh really? And just how are you going to do that?)

>Well for one, I’m going to remember my life is pretty great. I have talent, satisfying work, a family who loves me, and most astonishingly more than one mare who…y’now…*likes* me….how many dragons get that?

(So what? Frankly-)

>I wasn’t finished. That’s just first. Second…

From the shelf beside him he drew charity and leveled it at the mirror.

(…you can’t be serious.)

>Nonsense. I’m serious most of the time. Too much really.

(So what? You pull the trigger and you think I’m just gone? That’s just it? Don’t make me laugh!)

>No. I pull the trigger and I stop listening to you. I stop feeding you my fears. Then you starve, wither away, and die.

(THEN WHAT’S THE POINT OF PULLING THE TRIGGER IN THE FIRST-)

<BANG>

The bullet shattered the glass which flew everywhere around the small closet the dragon called home in Canterlot.

>It’s symbolic asshole.

(2/3)

>>25539399
~Spike? Spike darling are you all right?~

>…oh. Hey Rarity…didn’t realize this thing was on…

~It came on when you pulled the trigger darling. …What are you shooting at 2 in the morning?~

>Nothing! Nothing at all! Just uh…y’know…practice?

~…Spike dear are you alright?~

>…fine rarity…just…dealing with some personal problems.

~…do you…er that is…Shall I get a shovel?~

>Wha-? NO! Nonononono! No shovels needed. No bodies, no injuries, nothing like that.

~Well that’s a relief.~

>YES. Yes I’m sure it is.

~Um…Darling could I ask a favor?~

>…Now?

~Well…I’m worried about you. Shooting things at random at this hour is a bit odd don’t you agree?~

>…maybe a little…

~I want you to come spend the night in my room. Just to set my mind at ease you understand.~

>Oh? A young mare summons me to her budoir in the dead of night? What will the neighbors think.

~That he’d better bring his basket and keep his claws gentledrakely or he’s in for a cold shower.~

>Says the incorrigible tease.

~Teasing is a lady’s privilege darling. Now get up here so I can set my mind at ease and go back to bed would you?~

>Fine. Fine.
Rarity would never admit he had forgotten to turn charity off again and she heard the whole thing. It isn’t ladylike to snoop after all.
He looked back over the shattered remnants of his mirror as he collected the basket and headed for the door, and hoped he had left more than just shattered glass behind him. It was time for a change.
(3/3)

>>25539410
Ok, So...that's it. I am done with what I intended to do.

I know these last 2 parts tonight are maybe not as good as they could be.

'It's symbolic asshole' is a terrible line.

...but I love it for some reason.

Anyway, I may come back to hit one of the dangling threads for comedy purposes: shiny owes chrysalis a favor, shryalis sues spike, shrysalis makes spike go through a nightmare...or maybe not.

I just wanted to be done, and that's pretty much it for any 'serious' parts.

Thank you for your patience.

>>25539437
Neat! There were some stumbling blocks along the way, but pat yourself on the back, you brought it to a close.

Enjoy the feeling.

>>25539437
Well, I can't say it was a smooth ride, but it was definitely a ride, and you noticeably improved on the way.

Good job.

>>25539437
It's been a trip, hope you actually go through with some more comedy leanings though.

>>25539194
Fucking finally, someone says it. I think we actually are just afraid he'll be 'like the show', so we're afraid to make him the buttmonkey or useless or just plain dumb sometimes.

If there's one thing I enjoyed about the OOCO stuff, it's that he can just plain be like he is and make mistakes again. Before that, last time I ever remember laughing at anything he did was when Chrysalis punted him like a football when he was trying to be badass. That was gold.

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Dream Eater]
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but we guess who's back!
The club looks at the dream eater for a moment.
>"'...a what?'"

[...A Dream Eater. Used to eat the dreams and nightmares of ponies before Luna and her goons drove us to eat the dreams of animals.]

>Then why eat our dreams?

[For some reason, eating the dreams of animals started making us sick. Can't tell what's safe to eat yet. Nothing personal, I'm just hungry...I do miss your taste though. Got any skeletons in the closet, so to speak?]

"Wait what happens when you eat our dreams?"

[It maaaaaay leave you a little empty. You ponies can be such dreamers, you know? So motivated by them. It's like you can't even find a will to live without them...I look foreward to eating the little one's dreams. She looks like the ambitious type.]

'Then eat this! HOMING ROCKET!'

[Oh, more?]
Sucks the rocket up and explodes in his mouth.
[Spicy.]

"LOVELY ARROW!"
He sprouts a longer tail, grabs the arrow, and uses it as a toothpick.
[Curious, how you even see through my disguise? Is your perception different from the others?]

>ANVIL TIME!
A giant anvil drops from above. He sucks it up in a whirlwind. The anvil breaks apart into little pieces and he gulps it down.

[You 3 must be fairly experienced if you know about calling your attacks...too bad it telegraphs your moves.]

"Uh what now?"

'Pinkie?'

>Change of tactics. Surround and hit him at the same time!
They move.

'BURNING ROCKET!'
"DOUBLE PASSION!"
>SURPRISE CANNON!

They fire at the same time. He swallows the rocket and catches both of the arrows with his tail, but the cannonball with a bowler hat hits and explodes at his side leaving him smoking.

>Yes!

"It worked!"

'...he's standing back up.'

He grows even larger and he's visibly angry.
{You just had to make this hard didn't you?}

>"'...eeep.'"

>>25539714
LNPPAnon, YAY!.

>>25539714
You're back!

>>25539714
ITS ON

>>25539714
Damn it, SEVEN!

Always a fuckup, that one.

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>>25539724
>>25539743
>>25539819
Glad to be back.

>>25539369
Twilight.

>>25540133
>There are six hundred, fifty three things in this lab that can kill you in surprising ways

>That I know of.

>I haven't gotten a chance to try them all yet.

>>25540133
Twilight doing the suicide thing would get scary really fucking fast.

>>25540410
...What if it was rube goldberged?

Like. With her, every single suicide attempt had to be some impossiblly complex device ending in a wildly improbable lethal piece, and the joke is she gets most of her solance from the zen nature of setting up such a complicated device rather than actually being killed?

Oh, and they always fail at the end, which drives her nuts as she tries (and fails) to determine what was off in her calculations.

>>25540491
...brilliant

>Chrysalis
"SA"
'Cadence'
[42]
{18}
~Celestia~
^2^
(Mane-Iac)
=Sombra=
-Spitfire-
~~~~

>Do we have any idea what the damage is going to be?

"...have a seat."

>Damn it all.

'This is all my fault...'

[I still blame Rarity. Am I allowed to do that, or do I have to move on to another target?]

{Who else could you possibly blame here?}

[...]

~...Not a word.~

^It ain't that bad, I've been runnin' around the whole day ta' say you were sorry. They knew yer' sorry!^

'Thank you Sweetie, that is a big help.'

>For her. Public image of the changelings is...

(EEEEEVVVVIIIIIILLLLAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA! AHHHHHAHAHAHAAH!)

>...

=...She isn't wrong. She thinks it's good, and that's wrong, but on the whole she is accurate.=

-Except the guards, they're cool with... pretty much all of this. And Shiner came out as gay finally.-

>...

-That's not important, I just wanted everyone to know.-

>His name is SPEAR SHINER, what the fuck did he... nevermind.

"Yeah, his parents kinda pigeonholed him into that-"

>NEVERMIND I SAID. We need a plan to change public perception, now.

=You could try giving up some of your secrets, that might help.=

>How would telling them we have more powers possibly help!?

=Try giving them a non-power related and non-horrible secret?=

>... have we met?

"Come on, there's got to be something you can tell them, just to show you're not all bad."

>...have WE met?

[Ahem, Majesty?]

>Yeessss?

[There is... the technique.]

>... Okay, I thought I was being perfectly clear when I said no prostitution-

[NO! The... OTHER technique?]

>How is setting everyone on fire going to help?

[...]

{She means your Hive's special power.}

>Oh... OHHH... No.

'Wait, what is her hive's power?'

1/2

>>25540757

=I'm lost too.=

^I don't even know that, and she's my not-mom!^

-Missing something here.-

"...Wait a minute, did you ever tell ME? I honestly can't remember!"

~...Do it.~

>Celly, shut the Eff up.

'Thank you.'

~No! I'm serious! Do it! Show everyone, you absolutely have to!~

>... Forty Two-

~Ohhhh no, you do it! Come on, it might be the only thing that cheers up Cadence right now!~

>...

"...Please? If... if it'll cheer her up a bit-"

'Shiny! I'm not feeling that bad...'

~Raise your hoof if you bought that.~

>"[{~=-^...^-=~}]"

'Traitors.'

(I BELIEVE YOU!)

'I'll take it.'

>...sigh... Annnd a one two three four-

TAPPPATAPPATAPPATAPPA!

=Are... are you tapdancing with your forelegs? THAT is your hives special power!? THAT!?=

-...this is amazing.-

(AHHHHHAHHAHAHAH! THE POWER OF DANNNNNCEEE! What a useful technique!)

>"[{~=-...-=~}]"

(...Well it is!)

^I believe you!^

(I'LL TAKE IT!)

"It's... mesmerizing."

TAPPATAPPPATAPPP!

'...Hee hee!'

"Holy guacamole, it worked!"

^KEEP DANCIN' NOT-MOM!^

>...Friggen feel like a dancing clown...

'Heee heee heee! This is amazing!'

=Huh... I can't even bring myself to mock her. Good work?=

-...Anybody else wanna try that too?-

"[{(~=-...Yes.-=~)}]"

^EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!^

TAPPATAPPATAPPA

"Heh... good job, Chrysalis."

>...notafriggenclown...friggenwantedhertosmile...

^Yer' the best, not-mom!^

>...friggenIknow...

>>25540768
...I completely forgot that TAPDANCING ON HER FOREHOOVES was the hive's special power
THAT'S A SPECIAL POWER
THAT IS SOMEHOW MORE USELESS THAN ALL THE OTHER USELESS POWER
but at least it's not deadly, right?

>>25540857
It was the point. When we invented "special" powers, we had to come up with something so stupid she wouldn't have used it at the wedding. How friggen useful is tapdancing on your forehooves. That segment up there is the only time it is useful. Consider this, we made the one that makes you blind and the one that only works on puddles have tactical use. One saved the world. Chrysalis actually lost horribly on the draw with hive powers.

>>25540937
I, for some reason, though the real power was "I can learn every other power so damn easily it's not even funny"
GOOGLE I'M NOT HUNGRY STOP MAKING ME MARK THE TURKEY

>>25541149
Well, it isn't. See Chitty backstory. She traded learning powers for saving the other queens lives. And to get the to stop offering sex, It didn't work.

>>25541177
But Chrysalis still ended up learning most of them, and the ones she doesn't know, like Titania's powers, Chitty doesn't know either.

yeehaw

>>25541520
Well that means a few things. Any Changeling could learn another's power, Varry picked up Titan form vary quickly. Chrysalis was queend while enough of them were left to learn from/got the info from her mother on heart nom who could have just asked Chitty to teach her.
but regardless this brings up another query, what's 18's power?

>>25541572
As far as I can tell, she doesn't have one that's been revealed, unless we count that rapid-love-burn thing she did during her mini.

>>25541572
We knew any changeling could learn another's powers since the start, since it's all based off the same shape shifting magic, or mind control magic. Point is it's all the same magic, it's not some special thing.

And yeah, we don't know what 18s power is. She hasn't revealed it yet. But we do know it's probably useless, obviously. The love burn power was something 42 knew about, so its not her technique.

>>25541149
That's not a power, she's just naturally gifted. For all her fault it actually is pretty good as a queen.

>>25541572
I like to think her power is summoning paper demons.

And she doesn't know she has it

>Daw
"???"
~~
She looked both ways before opening the door to the captain's office, mostly out of habit, partly out of fear she would somehow be denied access without Pommel to let her in.
>Let's see what you get up to in this 'ere office...
She trotted over to the desk, noting how organized everything was, clean, crisp, not a paper out of place. The drawers simply held more quills and files, the only thing of note was a small chest in the right hoof corner of the room.
>well lookie here...
There was no lock on it, no traps, nothing she was used to when dealing with chests of any sort, so when she saw what was inside...
>ah'm dreamin, ah am
She hefted the object out of the chest and closed it, flapping her wings, she floated above it, holding the object in her hooves carefully, before putting it in her mouth
>mmmm
she wrapped her tongue around the bit in her mouth, feeling it's every contour, every stud, every edge, before gently spitting it back into her hooves
>it's bloody perfect, how'd 'e know?
she turned it over in her hooves again, it was truly a work of art
>did 'e 'ave the dragon make it?
SLAM
>EEEEP
she dropped the object from her hooves, having to dive and catch it in her mouth again
"Huh? Oh, hello!"
Daw spit the object out of her mouth
>...hi?
"I was looking for Bronze Pommel, I hear he's hiring for the guard?"
>ah guess? ya'll have to ask 'em when he gets back, 'e's on a mission for Princesss Applejack
"Oh, okay! bye miss pirate?"
>...how'd 'e know I was a pirate?
"Well you've got a sword in your hooves and a bandana on your head, what else am I supposed to think?"
He closed the door, leaving a thoroughly confused pirate pegasus in his wake.

Goodnight thread.

>>25543467
Night, anon

>>25543680
>>25543467
And morning to both of you

>>25542365
I'm not the only one who thought that was a different kind of bit right?

>>25544456
Took me three reads to figure out she was talking about the money bit and not the kinky kind.

That was bringing up some.... questions about Pommel.

OOCO
>SA
"Celestia"
'???'
~~~~

>...You ever worry we'll get... caught?

"Oh, Shiny!... That's half the fun."

>Is it? Think a lot of ponies would freak out if they ever saw you like this.

"Oh, pshaw, I used to play russian roulette all the time for vacations. If anything, this is a step up!"

>You sure?

"Shiny, I absolutely do not care if ANYONE finds out about-"

'HAH!'

"BAILBAILBAILBAILCODEREDCODEREDCODERD-"

TELEPORT!

>....

'The fuck is her problem?'

>There is no psychiatrist alive who could figure that one out.

>>25544456
>>25544566
both wrong, read the second to last line
>"Well you've got a sword in your hooves and a bandana on your head, what else am I supposed to think?"
it's the handle of a sword, when I wrote it I was trying to make it sound lewd and forgot bit was both a currency and a lewd thing.

>>25544754
...the handle of a sword is called a bit?

Genuinely did not know that.

>>25544865
...no, that's why I done fucked up, it's called a hilt, but in this case? a sword made to be held in a horses mouth? it could probably be called a bit

OOCO
>AJ
"??"
~~~~

>... Hrm, ain't quite right yet. Maybe if Ah'... Nah, then Ah'd lose out over here. But mayyyybe if... No, that ain't gonna work either.... Maybe...

"Hey, AJ?"

>GAH!... Dash, what are you doing here!?

"Just had a question."

>O-oh? Well, shoot then.

".. Don't you normally freak out?"

>Nah. That's the biggun. What do Ya need?

"... What are you working on?"

>NOTHING!

"It just looks like normal paperwork."

>CAUSE IT IS!

"... Wait, does that say-"

>NO!

"It looks like it does."

>DOESN'T!

"... Really, AJ?"

>YOU CAN'T JUDGE ME!

"Hey, least I never made OnO characters while I was supposed to be working."

>You shut up! How am Ah' supposed ta beat Twilight with mah crap characters! They'll get killed in seconds!

"All I see is backstory!"

>Er, she gives big bonuses for backstory. Ah need the boost!

"Can't do that on your own free time?"

>... Free time?

"Uh... Now I feel bad."

>...

"Look, just... Just sign this."

>Fine! Now git!

"Fine, fine, jeez... Not like I care about your nerd stuff anyway..."

>... Maybe workin on mah adventure book in here wasn't the best idea... But dang it, Ah'm almost done writing chapter thirty five! Soon, little Applina, yer gonna be a real book!... That Ah will never release because Ah'd die of shame... Oh! Held back by her own shame! That's a great thing fer' her ta' overcome! Pen, don't fail me now!

>>25545068
I have never in my life wanted to see a fake book more. The Adventues of
Little Applina need to be seen.

>>25545068
I want this
some autist needs to write this for us.
GOD DAMNIT GOOGLE IT'S NOT FUCKING TURKEY DAY YET

>>25545068
APPLINA VS MOMSIE

WHO WILL BRING HOME THE BEDTIME BOWL!

>>25545183
My votes on the Changeling Queen's pg stories over the Earth Pony Barbarian's DnD backstory.

>>25545068
>/pa/
>birthing stories within stories within stories

>>25545297
Oh god, it'll never end!

Even when we run out of stories we'll make stories inside of those!

Before you know it, Princess Applejack becomes Princess Applina and Momsie!

IT WILL NEVER END

>>25545517
I revel in your screams of joy.

>29
"MM"
'Ponyville'
~~~~

>...that is a big crowd.

"Not supposing you have more cheese snacks and wine?"

>I... do not think that shall cut it on this day.

'WE HAVE QUESTIONS!'

>Alright! Much do I know what thou art all thinking, is she being secretly infiltrated or mind controlled, and the answer will surprise thee!

'So you are controlling her!?'

'That would be very surprising!'

>Oh... well, then the answer will not surprise thee at all!

'SO YOU ARE!?'

>But... but thou just said-

'We said it would've been a surprise before. How would it still be a surprise after you told us?'

'So if you are about to tell us and it's a surprise, and after it's a surprise we're not surprised anymore, then it can't be that you're not surprising us, because we'd be surprised in that case.'

>...Mine eyes have begun to cross.

"That makes a frightening amount of logic."

>That thee would say that makes me question if I ever knew thee at all.

'Soooo-'

>So I'm not controlling anyone! I didn't even want to come down here initially, I was thrown!

'Like...'

>LITERALLY thrown! Through the air!

'And you... survived?'

>I hit a haybale.

'That... that doesn't seem like it would save you-'

>I AM NOT CONTROLLING ANYONE!

'Then what are you and the mayor doing all the time when you run off?'

'VERY suspicious!'

"We're helping dead orphans find peace and happiness!"

>...

'...'

"...We are!"

>I know we are, but there is no way-

'OHHHHHHH!'

'That makes so much more sense now!'

'Why didn't you just start with that!?'

>...

"...Roll with it."

>As if I have a choice...

>>25545750
The best part about dumb populace.

Swings both ways.

>Dash
"Pinkie'
~~~

>I'M SCREWED!

"Congratulations! Who's the lucky stallion?"

>...

"Or mare, not judging!"

>...

"Unless you don't share details, then all the judgement!"

>...

"...Wellll?"

>I MEAN they're going to put it together!

"Well, yeah, that's generally how the process goes."

>PINKIE!

"Well I would hope he would start with that!"

>...

"..."

>...I'm not finding that funny.

"Of course you're not."

>This is serious.

"Super serious."

>They're going to crucify me!

"Wow, Dashie, didn't know you were into that kinda stuff! What's the safeword?"

>...

"Is it banana?"

>...

"It should be banana. Bananas are funny to say, and if he's laughing he's not doing the thing you're not wanting him to do!"

>...

"I see a smiiiiilllleeee."

>...of course, it's Pinkie.

"And she knows how to bring the smiles!... Except in the bedroom."

>...

"My daddy will kill everything."

>>25545209
>Chrysalis's stories are all saccharine censored PG
>Applina's stories are all gory and over the top with violence

Make it happen.

>Jugglejack
"Canterlot"
'???'
~~~~

>...Oh no...

His worst fears, confirmed.

There they were, in front of the embassy. So, so many of them. A mob, as far as the eye can see.

All gathered together, with one simple thing in mind.

"RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!"

What the fuck that thing was, he had no idea, but it was probably bad!

>Acty!

His buddy, his one real true buddy in the whole world, was trapped. He knew Actarius could handle himself... mostly. Well, he could take a lot of hits before someone else came along to help, or the problem solved itself at least.

Admittedly, this wasn't helpful in mob tactics, but that's where he was at.

>No, no no no no!

He was trapped, he was alone, he was probably scared...

He needed his jugglebuddy, now, more than ever in his whole life, and that included that time he was homeless and probably on the streets!

Or at least equivalent!

>But how...

There was no opening, no way to make it though. Even the air above was awash with pegasi, no way for him to fly. If he went straight, he would only be absorbed by the mob who thankfully had not noticed him.

Thankful, mostly based around the fact that he could hear something bout 'goddamn lings' in that rabble. That was a thing to be thankful for.

Couldn't go down.

Couldn't go up.

There was no...

>Wait...

Down is not right.

Up is not right.

...Both.

>...it's the only way.

He tucked, he hugged his legs to his chest, and...

He leapt.

>DADADADADA!

The crowd became a frenzy of confusion as hooves shot up or down depending, and he transcended it. All of it.

As he bounced up and down, left and right, side to side...

He had transcended everything.

1/2

>>25546850
>DADA DADA DADADADA!

He bounced, he hopped, he ricocheted all around through the panicked crowd that hit him as they would any other ball. In their fear, in their confusion, they never once tried to stop him. Nor could they.

He had become beyond stopping.

>DA DA DADADADA!

He neared it, the embassy, and he reached his apex, his perfection. He had finished it. No matter how they tried to stop him, and lo did they try, it was useless.

He had become it.

He had become the ball.

That only left one thing.

>DADADADADA-

SWHOOP!

'...JJ!?'

He uncurled from his state, looking around to the interior of the building he recognized so well. Looking over, to the stallion he recognized so well, albeit with a look of bafflement uncommon to him. A stallion looking all around at the room sealed tight, before he once again locked eyes with the most peaceful changeling the world had ever seen.

'How... how the heck did you get in here!?'

The answer came to him as easily as breath, as simple as the turning of the tides.

He was at peace.

>...Fucking holes.

>>25546850
>>25546856
I'm done
I'm fucking done
he JUGGLED himself into the building
Sanity has lost meaning, comedy is all that holds the world together now

>>25546856
So he... fell through a hole in reality?

Fuck, and they're not even dating. Imagine what he'd do for Acty if they were married.

>>25546942
It's... glorious, isn't it?

>>25546460
I like to think they're actually super boring, and mostly about Applina solving every problem with a level head and common sense.

Because of... reasons.

>>25547032
You don't need to be married, or even in love, to bend the rules of reality when someone important to you may be in danger.

OOCO
>SA
"Celestia"
'???'
~~~

>... It's quiet.

"Too quiet."

>Dead silent, even.

"As dead as the night."

>As quiet as a mouse.

"As nightly as a quiet."

>...what.

"I ran out of idioms."

>Right... but where do you think she is?

"I don't know. She normally tries to get in through the lock right about now."

>Should we just... enjoy it?

"That would be the smart thing to do."

>It's what we came in for, after all.

"...Kind of takes some of the thrill out of it if she's not trying to break in."

>Little bit of the jump if we'll get caught is gone, yeah.

"..."

>...

"..."

>"WHO CARES!"

BLUB!

~~~

'No no no, she can't beat the dang queen o' the roaches like that! It's gotta be smart, full o' action and common sense!... Did Ah' just hear a splash? Better question, do Ah' care?'

BLUB!

'...NOPE! Now, how does she get outta this one...'

>>25547777
heavenly quads of comedy

>>25546856
You go you glorious juggling bastard.

You go and be with your jugglebuddy.

>>25546856
...he's not from Chryssi's hive right? he's got his own power and this is it?

>>25548208
That's the scary thing, he's been confirmed Pure-Momsie-Hive as often as Dadling has. I very vaguely remember a story where someone even suggest he switch to tapdancing and Actarius and him reacted over the top at the suggestion.

This is not a Hive power.

This is the power of JUGGLING.

>>25548395
...did he take lessons from pinkie pie in the ways of reality breaking?

>>25548417
She has been looking for entertainers here recently...

>>25548395
42 is going to be so awkward if it turns out that having a loved one in danger is how to unlock Fireflight

>Changelings! Can I have a list of your favorite associates of any species or gender, and please list most favorite to least... because of reasons. No, Spike loading his gun has nothing to do with this probably.

>>25548586
>A FUCKING YEARS WORTH OF GODDAMN TRAINING! MEDITATION! FOCUS! SACRIFICING SO MANY FUCKING THINGS AND- I mean, please continue writing your lists. Pictures will do.

>>25546856
so wait, did he fall through a hole in reality or did he fireflight?

>>25546460
I will make this happen...one day. When I have the time.

>>25548208
You know, I was thinking about that, and came to an odd conclusion.

Do hives actually have 'their own' powers? Like, something they're born with and just intrinsically have? From the way Chrysalis talks, you'd think so, right?

But... have you noticed that none of these powers are actually exclusive? As in, there's no one power that only one hive has ever had and nobody else could learn. Chrysalis herself is a goddamn library of powers, none of which were 'her' hives. Even stuff you'd think would be dedicated to a bloodline, like Chitania's Titan form, can be learned by someone else, and shockingly easy in one case. Sciderella didn't even have a special power, she just used her magic to grow extra limbs, which anyone can do but it just fries their brains to actually do it.

But if there is no set built in biological power then, logically, all of this is just stuff the other hives figured out. There's no 'power' in them, it's just something they figured out how to use their shapeshifting or mindmagic to achieve.

So, maybe this IS his power. Maybe he figured out how to do something with his shapeshifting that let him do this, and he's just the very first one.

>>25549315
I thought it was obvious nobody has 'their own' power, just the one they figured out first.

Not to set off our poor anime-fearing brother, but it's kinda like on One Piece. They don't get any more powers with their devil fruit, they just figure out how to use them in different and better ways. The powers are set in stone at the start, but that doesn't mean that's all to them.

>>25549315
>>25549608
So then, theoretically, Chitty could go Titan AND get Titania's armor powerup.

...good fucking thing there's an unstoppable chaos god.

>32
"???"
~~~

>...You know, I feel better. Yeah! Speaking with Twenty Nine, and all of that, that just makes me feel... better! Alive, even! Yes! This is a good thing! Things are good in my life. I have my brother and sister, I have friends, I have a life... you know what? I get too down on myself sometimes. What I need to do is enjoy more in my life. Yep. Enjoy it, and not doomsay every other minute. This is a brand new day!

"LOOK! A CHANGELING!"

"GET HIM!"

>Oh, are we giving out hugs? Hugs for all-AHHHH THESE ARE NOT HUGS SOMEONE HELP!... I BET THIS IS CHRYSALIS'S FAULT!

>>25549983
RIP 32

>>25549983
It's like someone hit the reset button. Hilarious as fuck.

>>25549983
This is what you get for being happy.

>Spike
"??"
~~~

>Where the frick is she!? Come on, she should not be that hard to find! She's so loud I could hear her from the moon! I could see her ego from space! How, the FUCK, can I not find Diamond Tiara!?

"..."

>...You're right behind me, aren't you?

"No."

>...wha...

He turns around.

There's nothing there.

>...huh.

>>25550825
...what.

>>25529408
>filename

ha

>>25546856
>>25546942
>>25547032
>>25548395
>>25549315
>>25549608

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armadillidium_vulgare

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[DEater]
~~~~
>Welcome to Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I just got new art! Now for our main segment...THE HUNGRY GAMES!!!

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one.'

>And I'm the crazy one...RUUUN!
A giant tiger like claw swipes at them.

[Graah I hate fast food!]
Smashes down on DT, but finds out it's a mannequin, while the real one goes another direction sticking her tongue out.

'Bleeeh'

[Why you stupid brat!]

>My house isn't fast!

Looks at Pinkie's house.
[Hm I suppose.]

>NOW BEFORE HE EATS IT! POW POW CANNON!
"RAINING ARROWS!"
'MISSILE BARRAGE!'
*BOOM BOOM BOOM POOSH POOSH POOSH FWISH FWISH FWISH*

The DEater eats up the cannon shots and missile barrages, but the raining arrows hit their mark from above. He falls to the ground and sighs.
[You're making me work for this...AREN'T YOU!?!]
His eyes glows red as he begins sucking them up in a big whirlwind.

>AHHHHH!!!

"Wings don't fail me now!"
Gets sucked.
"FRAZZLE DAZZLE!!!"

'Save me Sexy!'
Anchors TBDRILATU into the ground and shoots 2 grappling hooks allowing Pinkie and Cadence to grab on.

"WHY DID I JOIN THIS CLUB?!"

>BECAUSE WE'RE PRETTY IN PINK!

"...THAT SEEMS ARBITRARY NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT!"

>YOU STAY BECAUSE WE'RE FRIENDS RIGHT? PINKS NEED TO STAY TOGETHER!

'I'D SAY WE'RE MORE LIKE YOUR HOSTAGES AND WE HAVE STOCKHORSE SYNDROME!'
The DEater rushes forward

>DO THE THING!

'I KNOW!'
The DEater chomps, but finds about 100 C4 light up underneath him.
'Sweet dreams.'
They all explode at once.
*BOOOOOOM*
Everyone ends up flying in different directions. It takes a while for the smoke to clear.

"...ugh...was that many necessary?"

'...Overkill...is best kill.'

"...where's Pinkie?"
Pinkie struggles to climb out of the DEater's mouth.

>Unngh...my only regret...is that I never got to carpet bomb Canterlot...with confetti.

[...*SLURP GULP*]

"'PINKIE!!!'"

>>25552414
Oh shit!

>>25552414
Fffuuuuuu

>>25552414
>"...ugh...was that many necessary?"
It clearly was not enough Cadence, so yes.

>>25553181
Yeah, overkill usually has a killing there somewhere.

/pa/ is closed today Stateside. keep the thread alive for our Apple Princess.

>>25553656
>will return after turkey has been consumed and passed respectively

File: based putin.jpg (55KB, 600x350px) Image search: [Google]

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>>25553749
>after turkey has been consumed

Уpa!

>Breaburn
"Silver Star"
'???'
[???]
{???}
~~~~

The mail pegasi had dropped it off just a minute ago. Just a single minute. News, straight from canterlot, about a shocking reveal that had happened way over yonder in the Empire.

>You seein' this?

Hard to believe their eyes when they saw it. Had to re-read it, double check it, just to be sure. But, sure enough, looks like a changeling had been pretending to be the princess for some time to take over the goings on of the Empire for quite a while.

"Well, Ah'll be..."

Being this was a Canterlot newspaper, of course it went into all the ways how this meant that their safety was compromised, how this meant that any changeling could be worming their way into the upper reaches of their society and taking over, and without a single bit of mind control. They could be anywhere, doing anything, gaining trust and friendship and then assuming control of certain things. Like building roads, or placement of buildings.... or safety.

>Huh. Guess that changein' folk got in pretty good, didn't she?

"Ya' know, this here means..."

Both heads raised slowly, locking in on a particular member of their town. A new member, to be sure, one who had been there for only a short while, but who had managed to win over quite a lot of folks. He sure didn't seem to know much, didn't seem to ask for much or get much. Never made demands, even though he was always runnin' round and makin' this town the safest in Equestria.

>He sure doesn't seem to need much, does he?

"Nope."

>Ah' wonder...

'So then I- I mean, Firejack says to the bandits, 'stick 'em up!'... Get it? Cause bandits say that normally when they get robbing, but this time the hero said it! It's a flip! A... it means it did it the opposite way.'

The buffalo next to him cocked an eyebrow, clearly not quite finding that whole story as hilarious as the changeling in a fake mustache clearly did, but too polite to tell him.

1/3

>>25553798

It had been his idea, shockingly, to invite the buffalo over for dinner. Not for any special occasion, not for anything at all, he had just gotten it into his roasted little brain that today was special and everybody should get together to have a big meal. That was shocking enough, that the buffalo agreed so readily was even moreso, but it turns out that 'Firejack' had convinced them, and they owed him a favor or two.

[How do you know this story if you were not there anyway?]

His eyes went so comically wide, darting left and right in a frenzy.

'Err... dunno what'cha mean gov-'

A playful hoof booped him on the ear, stopping him from going off into another badly accented ramble.

{He heard about it from a bandit who was locked up in the jail with the Sheriff.}

His goofy smile would have lit up the sky, even without his usual flames.

'Right! That!'

Never fooled for a second, that was obvious if they were pony or buffalo. But, Braeburn supposed, only one of them had to be fooled, and he seemed none the wiser.

>...wonder iffin' we're gonna get any rolls before the basket gets down here.

"Wouldn't bet on it, that there buffalo can put it away."

[I'm on a diet!]

The whole table laughed at that, about as convinced as, say, they were that the fake mustache was going to stay on for the rest of the meal.

'I believe you!'

Somehow, that only made them laugh harder.

"...Heh. Poor city folk."

>Ahhh, they'll figure it out. Mah' cousin is over there, she'll set 'em straight... Everyone! Can Ah' have yer' attention please!

2/3

>>25553803

As one, they all looked to him, waiting eagerly for what was to come.

>Now, this here year has seen a lotta changes for AAAPPPPLLEEEOOOSA!... Sorry... But the biggest change is we got ourselves some new friends, don't we? They don't look like us, sure... but they're as good a friend can be, and we're glad ta' have 'em. Ain't that right!?

The hoops and hollers of the western folk were as loud as can be.

>Now let's all eat!

They dug in, hungry as country folk could be, laughing as they passed around food and story. It wasn't the first time they had done something like this, but this time felt special. This time was different.

'So then I-Firejack says... ICE to meet you! Get it!? So they would be expecting ice! But it wasn't! What a flip!'

{Ha ha!}

[...You ponies are confusing.]

{Ah' thought it was funny!}

This time, they had a whole new species at the table, and a whole new friend to join in the feast. They didn't care what he looked like, what he was supposed to be, who he could have been, they didn't even care if he was as sharp as a sack of bricks. He was a part of this town, he was in here now.

And that just plain felt right.

'...Wait, did he mean me?'

~~~~

Happy thanksgiving /pa/!

>>25553807
>stories on thanksgiving

That's some a tier writefriend

>>25554062
And no genocide attached to it, hooray!

>>25552414
So my friend took another art request for me. It's when the club say their usual lines.

>>25554079
No worries, I saw it, and will add it to the wiki when I get to a computer.

Impossible to do from my phone while at someone elses house though. Into the wiki it will go, in time!

>>25554151
Ah okay. Got a little worried when I didn't see the usual Into the wiki shout.

>>25554293
Yeah, should've gotten it before I left today, but you know how it go.

>>25542365
>that sword was supposed to be her birthday present from Pommel
>Pommel's face when he finds out she got it early
I have a sad now, that's got to hurt his soul that she didn't think it was anything special.

>>25553656
>/pa/ is closed today
Why does this strike me in the funny bone just right? Like, all I can imagine are the writers setting down their pens, yawning and heading out with a few nods and high-fives going "Turkey?" "Yup, I'm thinking turkey." "Don't forget where you left off, man." "I won't I won't, sheesh." "Hey guys should I write a story about Gilda eating Turkey?" "Or what about PJ fighting a flying Turkey and saving Thanksgiving?" "Hmm...."

>>25554630
>"Hey guys should I write a story about Gilda eating Turkey?"

...Hrm.

>...Is... is this cannibalism? This feels wrong... *Mucnh*... so very wrong.

>>25554621
...should we make Daw's sword a thing like TBDRLITU or Charity?
Enchantments, a name, that sort of thing.

>>25555168
Might be cute, though I don't know if a barebones pirate would want it.

>>25555656
>Pirate who wants to join the A-team
>not wanting an enchanted sword
It being a gift from Pommel is icing on the cake, she NEEDS this for CD purposes.

>>25554293
Belated just a bit, but

INTO THE WIKI IT GOES!

NON-CANON
>AJ
"Celestia"
'???'
~~~

>....

"..."

>...Ah' know it's their custom, but-

"Just grin and bear it."

>Ah'll do that... but Ah' ain't gonna eat that turkey.

"...Fair enough."

>...Didn't they almost wipe out-

"Try not to think too much about what came later."

>...Minotaurs are weird.

'HEY!'

>YA' ARE!

"Applejack with politics, everyone."

Happy thanksgiving, /pa/ls.

Hope you're having fun with your family, your friends, or just your plushie dolls that you used for comfort. I don't judge. Its been a trip thus far, and I can't wait to see what comes next.

>>25554067
Which is EXTREMELY ironic when you think about it.

But 55 is just that stupid-awesome. He might not be able to count all of his hooves, but he's got a goddamn heart of gold that just makes you think this guy isn't going to be anything else but the bro he really is.

Gold star.

>>25556764
Yeahhh, happy thanksgiving to you too.

Hope you got stuffed with all the bird you can handle.

>>25557034
>Which is EXTREMELY ironic when you think about it.

To be fair, the genocide didn't happen right then the... other event either.

ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS, BUFFALO!

>>25556453
HEY! AJ has impeccable table manners, thank you!

NC
>SA
"Cadence"
'Chrysalis'
[18]
{42}
^2^
~Celestia~
(Spitfire)
=Sombra=
+Mane-Iac+
~~~~~~~

>Alright, everyone say what they're thankful for!

"I'm thankful they didn't riot."

>...Dark. Chrysalis? Lighten the mood?

'I'm thankful they didn't riot.'

>Good job, this is why we keep you. Eighteen?

[I'm thankful they didn't riot and kick me out.]

>At least you're mixing it up. Forty Two?

{I'm thankful I didn't have to break their stupid faces when they tried to riot.}

>This is why you're Caddy's favorite. Celestia?

~I'm thankful I didn't have to watch them riot.~

>Beacon of sunshine, that's what you are. Spitfire?

(I'm thankful I didn't have to deal with a riot three months into my job.)

>Hiring you? Best choice, that's what it was. Sombra?

=I'm thankful I didn't have to see another riot in my time.-

>At least you're mostly gloomy anyway... Mane-Iac! This should be great!

+AHHHHHAHAHAHAH! I am THAANNNNKKKKFUL that those ACURSED POWER PONIES didn't show up and BATTLE IN THE STREETS!.. That would've been a pain!+

>I.... I don't... Two! My bubbly little Two, you've got something for Shiny, right? Something to be thankful for? Share!

^I'm thankful for ShinyandCaddyandNot-momandTeenyandFortyTwoandAuntielestiaandSpittyandSombyandManeyandAuntieTwilightandAuntieApplejackandauntiePinkieandDashandRarityandFluttershyandmissesGlitzdownthewayandallthecookiesIgetwhenIgoseeStarsprinklesandallthesuperdupermegawonderfulawesomethingsIgotsinceIgotherecauseyer'allthebestestestestfamilyinthewholewideworld!^

"'[{(~=+...+=~)}]'"

>That about sums it up.

>>25558484
Two, summing up the good in life since thread number... heh, two, funny enough.

>>25558484
NC
>spike
'2'

>er...you forget...anyone?

'Did I!?'

>...

'...'

>happy and upbeat spike, we're being happy and upbeat now....

>>25559027
To be fair, I missed that too.

However, I find the idea he was in the back and literally nobody even noticed him hilarious for all the wrong reasons.

Only one hour left over here, just in time to say Happy Thanksgiving ya'll.

Applepie and turkeys FTW.

G'night, thread.

Hope you had a happy thanksgiving.

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Food coma break.

>>25558484
MEANWILE

AT APPLEJACK'S TABLE

>....

>...Ah'm so alone

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>>25561095
Pinkie pops in and rolls out a feast to the table.

"You're never alone!"

>>25561119
Applejack could use some Breakfast chronicles, or at least, some Chronicles of her own.

Issue is who do you use?

>>25561233
She does have the Bathroom Chronicles, doesn't she? Granted, it did somehow branch out into a drowning fetish thing, which I'm not really complaining about, but still.

>>25561261
Nah the Bathroom Chronicles is Shining and Celestia's gig, Applejack is just the unwitting and unwilling sort-of-technically-maybe-observer in it.

I mean shit already that's two consistent Chronicles for Harem and Friends, we need something where AJ takes a hold of.

>>25561275
>tfw accidentally started the Bathroom Chronicles to introduce cute 'AJ and Celly find a tired Shiny somewhere in their castle on random nights' moments
>tfw it is what it is now
Yup, 'bout par for the course, actually.

>>25561442
>AJ and Celly find a tired Shiny somewhere in their castle on random nights'

Huh

I always saw them as Celestia and Shining continuing that "Hey remember that time we both kinda-sorta killed ourselves for our own enjoyment? Let's do that CONSTANTLY"

I musta missed something...

>>25561835
Hell, what was the first one again? Where they were brushing their teeth, wasn't it?

>>25561865
I

I don't know

I've forgotten completely

>>25561933
If it was, and I do believe it was, then I could see his point, then. And now I'm doubly curious.

>>25561233
She did have her own breakfast Chronicle. We use the main six and sometimes Luna.

>>25561442
Actually, the gag is watching her overreact to being invaded they went somewhere else but it wasn't as funny.

>>25561865
The first drowning story dates back to party land way before this. You're correct the first one in the bathroom was then brushing their teeth and shining showing up.

And inspiration strikes from the oddest of places....

>>25555894
OOCO
>Daw
"Pommel"
~~~
>MMPH! MPH! MMMMPH!

The training dummy she was currently destroying did not respond to her attempts at banter through the sword, but she liked trying anyways.

"Daw? What are you doing out here?"

>PTOO! I found dis 'ere sword in yer office, ah was just takin' it fer a spin.

"You found a sword in my office? but I don't..."

>Hm?

"OH! Oh..."

>Speak up Pommy me lad, whatsa matter?

"That sword was supposed to be your birthday present, it wasn't quite done yet..."

>Oh Pom! ya shuldn't 'ave! ah love it, ah really do! It fits me perfect!

"That's the point, Daw, but like I said, it wasn't finished, it was supposed to be a surprise"

>well? what's left to do with it? we can do it together!

She brought him in for a hug, wings included

>spendin' time with you makes a better gift than just a sword, Pommy"

He smiled, and pecked her on the forehead.

"I guess it does, Daw, I guess it does"

So what upgrades should we put on the sword?