Urban Survival CYOA

>Shaking your head and putting the small book back where you found it, you gently shut the dresser drawers
>You could just leave everything where you moved it since this is a dream and shouldn’t really matter, but after Raven’s little performance, you don’t want to take the chance of anything pissing her off ever again
>Giving the room another sweep, it dawns on you that you should check under her bed
>That’s where all your pornos are stashed at home, so it must be where mares keep all their raunchy items, right?
>Getting onto your belly, your hoof lifts up the drooping bedsheets, muzzle barely poking under it
>Lighting up your horn to see, you dig around until your hoof hits something
>Hm. Feels like a cord of some sort
>Reeling it back out you stand up, trying to process what you just discovered
>Witches keep whips for magic purposes right? Maybe it’s a magic and totally not pain inducing fetish whip?
>At least for Hype’s sake you hope
>”Woah, where the heck did you get that?"
>Shade stands in the doorway, looking as confused as you are at the item

>>25519026
Underneath her bed. Unsurprisingly, looks like she's a dom.

>>25519026
You might need to give Hype a new body after all this.

“I uh, found it stashed underneath her bed”
>”…Interesting”
“Yeah. Unsurprisingly, I think that she’s a dom”
>”Well, I hope your little friend knows what he’s getting into”
“He already suffered a sexual griffon mauling, a whip can’t be too much worse right?”
>”You know that the crack of the whip is just the tip breaking the sound barrier, right?”
“Oh”
>Hype’s a goner
“You might need to give Hype a new body after this”
>”What do you want me to do, transfer his brain to a gerbil? I’m not a doctor”
>The thought of gerbil Hype running on an exercise wheel actually brings a smile to your lips
>That is until his head gets inevitably stuck in it
“We’ll figure something out, hopefully he’s a quick healer”
>Pushing the whip back under the bed you quickly pull the sheets back to the way they were, not wanting to see what other sinister devices are contained beneath it
“So did you find anything in the fridge?”
>”Just a bunch of low fat yogurt or something, lots of vegetables too. I guess she’s into exercising but with a plot like that I never would have guessed”
>Of course the bat is thinking of unicorn mare flanks

>>25519586
What else is there even to do?

>>25519586
So what's new in town?

>>25519586
Let's go tell Hype he has a date tonight.

>>25519723
we have to train him anon, we just can't send him out there

>>25519723
We're still dreaming, anon.

>>25519749
Oh he'll be getting trained alright.

>>25519762
h-hot

>>25519762
Should we ask for our bat cock then?

>>25519849
but why?

>>25519874
We need to train him, anon. Who knows what nefarious spells the witch will cast, or what terrifying devices she has underneath her bed.

>>25519960
but why do we need the dick?

>>25519978
Smack him over the head with it when he isn't trying hard enough.

>>25519988
gayfags get out

>>25519978
What else would we whip him with?

>>25519998
No, anon. Beating another guys meat is gay. Beating another guy with your meat is not.

“I guess when I get back to the hotel I’ll tell Hype that he has a date coming up… Or a death sentence, either or”
>”Well you better get him up to speed real fast, because is he’s still a clingy beta, all of us are going to pay the price”
“Relax Shade, you’re talking to the match making mater here if you don’t remember! Got you your first date in five years!”
>”I could have gotten a date any time I liked… I just didn’t want to”
“Suuure. Anyway, you ready for tonight?”
>”I guess. Floral better not be as crazy as I think she is”
“Trust me, she’ll be tame. And if not, I’ll look for you in the missing pony reports”
>”Gee thanks”
“No problem buddy. So how are things in town? Riots aren’t going to ruin the date are they?”
>”No, things have been relatively quiet around the city. Ponies seem to be calming down for the verdict here in the next couple days”
“There’s not going to be a bat out if they don’t convict him, is there?”
>”First of all, say ‘bat out’ gain and I’ll knock your teeth in. Second, it’s a grand jury Gar”
“… A what?”
>Shade rolls his eyes
>”They’re deciding whether there’s enough evidence to send him to an actual trial”
>Your head cocks a little to the side
“So will he be guilty?”
>”Oh my god…. Never mind. Is there anything else you need, because I need to get going”

>Sitting down, you think long and hard about what you could do to help Hype
>… Wait a minute
>Long and hard! That’s it!
“Shade, can you give me that bat dick?”
>”Finally come around have we? I suppose, though I must say that you decided to keep that pathetic little thing longer than I expected”
“It’s normal sized and full functioning! I-I just figured that if I’m going to train Hype to save his bat dick, I should probably know what it feels like to have one”
>”Whatever”
>He reaches into his bag and throws a glass vial at you, which shatters on impact on your head and causes you to fall back on the floor in surprise
>Your crotch immediately feels funny

>>25520146
You're not gonna 'beat my ass' for that Griffon this morning?

>>25520163
We covered it pretty well, and we'll never even see her again.

>>25520159
This is not a prompt.

>Wiping your face off, you sit up to find Shade patiently waiting
“So, did it work?”
>”I don’t know, you tell me”
>Slowly looking down, your face goes from one of shock to excitement in moments
“Oh my god…”
>It’s glorious. Absolute degenerate, but oh so glorious!
“Ast is gonna love this thing”
>”Just make sure to say that you ordered penis enhancers or something off an advertisement”
“But those are scams, they don’t work. Trust me…”
>”How will she know? She doesn’t have one!”
“Oh yeah… You know Shade, you’re pretty smart”
>Well, for a bat that is
>”I’d like to think so. But I have to be going now, don’t want my chariot getting towed”
“Yeah, that’d suck”
>He begins to walk to the door
“Hey, you’re not going to beat my ass? For the whole griffon thing this morning?”
>”Nah, you covered it pretty well. I think she was convinced”
>Oh cool, your ass will remain unkicked
>”But because you revealed yourself in the first place, if my chariot got towed I’m sending you the bill”
“Wait what?”
>The door slams as he exits, the sound of shattering glass filling your ears as the entire world breaks into shards, sending you tumbling into the darkness
>”Gar! Gar wake up!”
>Opening your eyes, all you can see is your blanket pulled over your head, your parents voices off to the side
>”Are you ok? We heard you yelling in your sleep!”

>>25520594
Check to see if we're still a bat.

>>25520594
Yeah, just a nightmare.

>God damn it. You knew yelling for Shade was a bad idea deep down
>Freaking Stockholm syndrome
“Yeah, I’m fine”
>Now able to tell if it’s still night or day, you reach up and pat your head
>Oh god, you’ve still got ear tufts
>A pair of wings lightly rustle on your back as you confirm that you are in fact still a bat
>”Are you sure dear? You were pretty loud, we thought you were hurt”
“No, no really I’m good. It was just a bad nightmare, honest”
>You here the floor gently creak as they step forward, followed by you bending of the mattress a second later as one of them sits down
>A hoof pats your blanket where your head is as a feminine voice speaks up
>”Who’s Shade dear? You kept yelling for him”
>”Yeah Gar, you sounded pretty distressed, and when we came in here you were just mumbling. Are you sure everything's ok?”

>>25521149
Yeah, it was just a dream where a gypsy backed me into a corner and threatened to curse me, and I yelled to Shade, my batpony friend, for help.

It's nothing to worry about though, just a dream.

>Quints event is parents figuring out we're a batpony at night.

>>25521213
can we roll on this?

>>25521149
I don't know, it was just a dream.

“It was just a dream, ok?”
>”It sounded pretty serious”
“Some Gypsy backed me into a corner and threatened to curse me, and I yelled to Shade for help”
>”Well who’s Shade?”
“Just a bat pony friend of mine”
>There’s a moment of silence as you lay there nervously, praying that they’ll leave
>”Can you believe it dear? Our son has two bat pony friends!”
>”That’s twice as tolerant than we thought he was”
>You love your parents, you really do. But this is ridiculous
>he bed shifts a little as your mother steps off of it, walking a few places away
>”Sorry to bother you Gar, we just wanted to make sure that you were alright”
“It’s no big deal, really. I’m glad that you care”
>”Well, we’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight Gar”
“Night”
>The door creaks shut before lightly clicking
>You perk an ear up as you listen to them walk away down the hallway
>Damn that was close
>Closing your eyes, you try not to think about what would have happened if they had discovered you
>Shade would have had a stroke most likely
>…
>Stretching, you yawn as you throw the covers that hid you last night off of your body
>Morning light leaks through the curtains of the quiet house

>>25521611
>Wasn't the quints event
>Still scared

Breakfast time.

>>25521611
Admire penis.

>>25521695
This is the dick that will change our life. Change the world

>>25521725
But our children will be batponies.

>>25521731
Is that a fact? Bat sized dick doesn't equal bat offspring.

>>25521731
That's not a problem, is it bigot?

>>25521759
It's not bat-sized, it's an actual batpony dick.

If the balls are batpony as well, that means batpony sperm.

>>25521759
'bat sized'. Thats not what we asked for and not what we got.

There was a reason we turned it down before.

>>25521779
>>25521781
we should probably consult an expert

Ast was nearly too tight with our unicorn dick, we're not even going to be able to use it. You kids need to think before you post. Hopefully this is fixable.

>>25521799
Just get her a bat pussy

>>25521799
I'm pretty sure that she was so tight because she was a virgin.

She'll loosen up over time. We might do well to purchase lube for next time, though.

>Gar goes from wanting to stop the spread of bat ponies to actively having increasing it with his own seed

like pottery

>>25521611

Don't we technically have three batpony friends now? Doesn't Hype count as a friend?

>>25522006
Parents don't know about Hype yet, I don't think.

>>25521980
This whole quest is turning into one big irony

>>25522023
This has been irony:the quest from the very beginning.

Let's just make sure to ask Shade about it when we get the chance- or go to a sperm bank and have them analyze it or something.

>>25522023
>>25522042

This irony is turning into one big quest.

>>25521980
Three mares will be carrying bat pony seed because of us.

>>25522048
anon you are of genius

>>25522048
Or a much better idea, have shade change it back because getting stuck with permanent bat dick because one anon wanted to cockslap Hype is fucking retarded.

>>25522058
Holy shit.

>>25522072
>inb4 batdick was the quints event.

>Seizing the opportunity that you lacked last night, you look down at your crotch, admiring Shade’s handiwork
“Oh man, this is great!”
>No more inadequate Gar. For now on, you’ll be a god among unicorn stallions
>Smiling as you imagine your waves as fawning mare fans next to their impotent coltfriends, a thought hits you
>Does this mean that your foals will be bats?
>Oh god. If you and Ast breed, then the doctor is going to think that you’re a cück!
>You’ve made a lot of compromises recently, but that is where you draw the line on degeneracy
>Giving your groin another look, you find that besides being bigger, your balls appear to be the same white ones you’ve always had
>You need to ask Shade if you’re actually carrying bat seed. Because that needs to be dealt with immediately
>Or then again, you could go to a sperm bank. Might as well get paid to have it analyzed
>And as for Ast, you may need to get some lube the next time you fool around with her, on account that your previous dick was still a pretty tight fit
>But you’ll figure it out, for now you should just enjoy your gift and count your blessings, not too many other stallions are so fortunate
>Rolling out of bed with a new found confidence you walk out of the room and head down stairs
>A clock on the wall shows that you have plenty of time before the test in class this afternoon
>Upon entering the kitchen your father is reading a newspaper at the table while your tired looking mother cooks something on the stove

>>25522105
Say good morning to both of them. Ask your dad why your mom is so tired. Have some breakfast. I would like to go soon to see if hype is alive.

>>25522105
Why's she tired?

Pausing right here. Any questions or anything?

>>25522105
Sorry for keeping you guys up last night.

>>25522186
So, uh, that quints event, is that still coming up?

>>25522221
anon pls.

>>25522221
I see what you're up to you lil shit
But yes

>>25522299
Raven being sexy

>>25522309
oh, this is the wrong thread entirely.
but sure.

>>25522299
Draw Whispen

>>25522317
damn it Craft

>>25522331
my faggotry knows no bounds.

>>25522330
also okay.

You niggers know how DNA works right?
We still have our seed.

Sperm has an x or y chromosome which comes from our DNA, sperm is produced in the balls.

We could magically exchange penis between anons and it would still be our same genetic code.

>tfw 5.4

>>25522550
We have to consider that Shade might try to magically kek us years down the line. I don't think he's doing it, but it won't hurt to check.

>>25522579
Wait, is that one word that rhymes with muck and starts with a 'c' censored here? I thought I was just tired the first time I tried writing it.

>>25522618
c.uck t.bh f.am
kek desu senpai

>>25522550
just said our balls are different bud

It's time to start the day in a fantastic way.

>>25522550
Sperm factories got changed too.

Why do we care so much about Gar's potential batcock misfortunes?

>>25524779
>gar's lineage destroyed
>no more pure unicorn offspring with Ast
>spreads the bat filth even more.

I wouldn't wish that shit on my worst enemy

>>25524816
>Gar's lineage
>pegasus brother
I wonder if he's lying to himself, or if his dad's a cück.

>>25522309
>>25523296

>>25522330
>>25524327

>>25524779
Because then we'd get something like Tara

>>25519018
>Autistic batcancer and batmemes CYOA

Reminder that Shade's and Floral's foals will be special needs

>>25525318
>dumb
>lusty
Oh god.
Is she Gar's, or is she Floral's?

>>25525517
I want to see parent Gar desperately try to explain to his dumb tease of a daughter why she can't be going off and getting smashed by stallions every night

>>25525318
Goddamn it it's all connected.

>>25525755
>I-it's degenerate.

>>25526573
>pshh, please
>I know what you and mom get up to
>I've seen those wings in the closet

>>25525962
>Tara shows up in Urban before Gar shows up in Hijack
Get rekt at your own game Hijunker

Let's go to the movies! I wonder what the last day will be like. Also where is this hype date even happening?

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>>25528047
In his bed

boop

Good morning mom, dad”
>Your mom turns her head smiling, but only grunts in response
>Taking a seat next to your father, you patiently wait for breakfast to be ready, the only sounds in the room besides the sizzling of the food is the rustling of the pages of the newspaper
“Sooo, why’s mom look so tired?”
>She immediately turn back around, waving dismissively
>”Oh it’s nothing dear”
“Sorry for keeping you guys up last night if that’s the reason. I didn’t know that I was talking in my sleep”
>”It’s not your fault Gar, your mother just needs a lot of sleep these days”
>Not wanting to push any further, you decide to just accept his answer, electing to wait quietly until the food is ready
>Well, that is until your dad suddenly puts down the newspaper
>”So, what’s your plan for today? Got to get back to your class later?”

>>25529406
Don't really have any plans for the day so yep.

>>25529406
Yup.

>>25529406
Yes, it's my final day in town, then back to work tommorow.

We should probably spend the much of the day with our parents as possible, we can talk to hype on the ride back to baltimare.

>>25529406
Does our mom have cancer?

>>25529607
anahn pls

>>25529607
no wonder she wants to see her babies again.

Gar on a mission to bring Blitz home when?

“Well, I really don’t have a plan for the day, so yeah”
>”And then what?”
“Today’s my last day in town, then it’s back to work tomorrow in Baltimare”
>You hear a clang as something drops on the stove
>Looking over your mother’s ears are swept back and folded against her head
>But a moment later she reaches down and picks up the fallen spatula and continues cooking
>Your dad turns back to you, neutral look on his face
>”So, you were saying?”
>Scooting in a bit closer, you wave you’re your dad to do the same, lowering your voice to a whisper
“Hey, listen dad. Mom’s ok, right? She’s not sick or anything?”
>”She’s… seen better days. It’s nothing major, but she’s had a couple of infections recently. It’s really had her fatigued”
“But she’s alright?”
>”Yes Gar, she’s just fine”
>You attempt to respond but you nearly jolt as a plate is placed in front of you, the ceramic dish clingy loudly
>”Alright you two, eat up”

>>25529801
ask them if there's anything they want to do and/or just stick around and talk family stuff.
We've got time until class.

Tell them funny floral stories, ask about their friends, go through photo albums. old people love that shit.

>>25529801
Listen to your mother Gar.

>>25529801
Dig in and start eating. Thank your mom for the cooking. Ask her to write down the recipe so you can have some more when you go back home.

>>25529850
Maybe the photo album is a bad idea. Probably just shows Gar's descendant into racism.

>>25529896
Now you've got me curious.
All we know is that one scene Shade showed us.

>Whelp, best listen to your mother
>Picking up your fork you begin to cut the haycakes, shoveling a bite into your mouth while your parents begin to do the same
“This is actually pretty good mom. You got a recipe?”
>”Oh don’t you worry about that Gar, I already made you a little bag of stuff to, take home I can stick it in there”
>She just thinks of everything, doesn’t she?
>Placing another bite into your mouth you almost begin to stare off into space
>But then you notice both your parents looking at you expectedly
“Um… Yes?”
>”So, we were just wondering if you wanted to do anything in particular today, since you’ll have to leave this afternoon”
“I mean, what do you guys want to do? I came to visit you, so you should decide”
>”Whatever you want to do would be fine dear, trust us”
>Hm. What’s a wholesome family activity that you’d all enjoy?
>You suppose that you could just tell stories for a little bit, maybe look through a photo album. Old ponies love hat crap
“Well maybe we could look through the family photo albu-“
>”Done!”
>Your mother seem to pull a thick book out of thin air, slamming it on the table as your dishes rattle
>Lighting up her horn she turns to a page with an excited look
>”Look dear, it’s when you came home from school after that filly beat you up!”
>A young you is held in your father’s arms, tears openly streaming down your face as you bawl your eyes out
>… Maybe the photo album wasn’t a good choice

>>25530183
>>”Look dear, it’s when you came home from school after that filly beat you up!”
...Who takes a photo of that?

>>25530240
Our loving mother apparently

>>25530240
Pictures like that are taken for use on the 18th birthday.

>>25530278
Or sending to the fiance

>>25530183
Wonder why Shade hasn't given us endless amounts of shit for that.

>>25530409
we've wormed our way into his heart anon

>>25530409
Shade must have got beat up by a filly too.

>You just stare at the picture for a bit, shocked that your mother actually took a photo of that
“You… Took a picture after I got beat up?”
>”Well of course, we wanted to always remember it! Remember that it took almost three hours for you to calm down? Oh that filly’s parents even came by and apologized for her doing that”
>”They also apologized for us having a son who could get beat up by one…”
>This isn’t really happening, is it? You thought that everypony had just forgotten about it
>You’re actually kind of impressed that Shade hasn’t smugly brought it up yet
>”Awww and look at this, it’s your trip to the doctors for a measles shot”
>”The cops stopped by afterwards because you were crying so loud”
>Is this whole album just filled with pictures of you crying?
>”Anything you want to see in here son? You mother made sure to take plenty of pictures of you as a foal”

>>25530478
Where's your name, son? Ask her if she has any where you aren't crying.

>>25530478
The one where I'm happy pls.

>>25530478
uh... any hearth warming pictures?

>>25530478
How about we look at Birthday pictures? Those should be happy pictures right?

>>25530478
Pictures with our big brother of course.

>>25530635
But then we'll make her cry, anon.

“Uh… any pictures where I’m not crying?”
>”Oh sure let me just… um”
>Your mother keeps flipping page after page, cringing at each one
>Were you that much of a crybaby as a kid?
“Anything where I’m happy? Or at least not upset? … please?”
>”Hang on, hang on, I’ll find you one dear”
>She turns a few more pages, still intently searching
>>How did your parents put up with that much whining?
>”Oh! Here we go, it’s you at your sixth birthday!”
>She uses her magic to flip the book around, presenting it to you
>Little Gar sits at the end of the table with a party hat on top of your horn
>Of course your wide eyes look up to it in shock looking like you’re about to cry
>But your older brother seems to be trying to comfort you with a piece of candy or something, holding it in front of your face

>>25531732
How many pictures is our brother crying in? Is it genetic?

>>25531732
ask our parents why we were always crying.

>>25531883
I get the feeling that we took some years off our parent's life's with our constant crying

>>25531953
He was still just a child though.
Seems like they did a shitty job of raising him.

>>25532007
I'm going to agree. You can't really blame the child for something like this.

>Hey that’s not fair, why does he get to look happy when you’re about to cry? It’s your god damn birthday!
“Hey mom, can I see the book for a moment?”
>”Of course dear, here”
>The book floats over, gently coming to rest in front of you
>Picking it up you begin to search through the pages, taking note of your brother’s pictures
>Maybe crying is just genetic?
>Turning the next page you spot a few with your brother in them
>Oh here’s a good one, he’s… he’s smiling as he accepts an award at school
>Ok, no big deal. You were happy when you got your GED too
>Alright here’s one! He’s, waving at the camera with some sport’s trophy
>And here’s one with him laughing as he plays with the dog
>And one where he’s beating your ass at a board game
>… What the hell man?
“Um, dad? Mom? Did I cry a lot as a foal?”
>”I suppose, but that’s just what kids do honey”
“No I mean like A LOT?”
>Your parents glance at each other, your dad rubbing the back of his neck
>”Uh… Listen Gar, the doctor said that back then you were a VERY sensitive little foal, ok? You just got upset easy”

>>25532316
Still do, at least kind of.

>>25532316
What else did he say? Why where you taking me to the doctor?

“Well, to be honest, I kind of still do. Sometimes at least”
>”We all get upset from time to time dear, don’t worry about it”
>Looking back down at the book, you finally find a few pictures of you genuinely smiling
>There’s a photo of you playing with a small train set in the middle of the living room, small figurine tied to the tracks in front of it
>Hey, all colts are a little sadistic
>But even though you feel a little relieved at finding them, the number of pictures where you’re sad or upset still bothers you
“Hey guys?”
>They both pause eating their breakfast as you speak up
“Why were you taking me to the doctor in the first place? What else did he say?”
>”Well he said, and keep in mind that this was a long time ago Gar, that you had some emotional problems and couldn’t relate well to a lot of ponies. But like I said, that’s in the past”
“And that’s why I’m crying in all these pictures?”
>Your mother walks up behind you and puts hoof on your shoulder
>”Oh Gar, don’t let those get you down, we all had plenty of happy moments as a family when you were a foal, and we loved you no matter how you acted”

Stopping here for now

>>25532827
>that you had some emotional problems and couldn’t relate well to a lot of ponies
So we ARE autistic.

>>25532878
Do we still have that jewelry on us? We might as well show our parents what we bought for Ast while we're here- it ought to make our mom happy.

>parents dundunuffn wrong he has brain problems

>>25533088
I feel like a good part of this CYOA is
>I dunno, this part doesn't really seem like Gar's fault.

And then Res posting
>Nope, it's totally your fault. Check out this canon post that says so.

>>25533329
Im pretty sure everything that is wrong in equestria is somehow because of Gar.

>>25533499
>Starlight Glimmer at one of his rallies years ago

>>25533499
>Gar Let the Medusa out

>>25534547
>So let me get this straight, if I free you you'll turn all the bats to stone?

>>25533499
>Gar accidentally let Cerberus out of Tartarus

>>25533499
>Gar caused the holocaust

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>>25533499

>>25533499
Gar is the Jar Jar Binks of this world.

>>25535866
>Gar voted to give Palpatine emergency powers

>>25535888
>Gar trained the stormtroopers to shoot

>>25535932
It wasn't in the budget to hire Pen

>>25536196
>Russian Stormtroopers

now that's a scary thought.

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>>25536412
>Russian Death Star

>>25536553
I was expecting a giant metal Liberator face

>>25532827
Since we don't have any pictures of us smiling and happy let's get a camera and take one right now to add to the album.

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>>25537420
Good idea.

>>25537420
That would be nice.

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>>25537510
We can finally experience happiness

>Thinking back, your parents were constantly there for you, even if you did wear on your patience
>Hell, even when things got to the breaking point and they kicked you out, they never once did say that they didn’t love you
“Thanks mom, but do you two have a camera lying around anywhere?”
>”I think that I can dig one up, why?”
“I think this album needs another picture of me smiling”
>Your dad gets up and walks out of the kitchen, rustling around in the other room
>Soon he returns with an older looking camera, the type that immediately spits the photograph out
“Alright, let’s just move over to this wall, get all of us in it”
>Complying, your parents walk around and gather on either side of you, both with a hoof across your back
>Your dad floats the camera out a little bit, holding it in place with magic
>”Alright, ready? One, Two, Three”
>A snap and a flash greet you, followed by the camera floating back over as the photograph comes out
>Taking a second to develop, you soon see three smiling faces greeting you as it develops
>It honestly looks pretty good, both your parent’s teeth visible as they smile larger than you’ve ever seen before
>Taking a the picture you open up the album, flipping to the page where it left off
>The last picture in the book that you stick it next to is one of you on your 18th birthday, a sheepish grin on your face as your parents give you a small cake
>Guess it's just a testament to how long it’s been since this album’s been used

>>25538242
We should do more things and take more pictures. Try to fill the album up.

>>25538242
>even if you did wear on your patience

>>25538339
Even Gar was sick of Gar.

>As you stare album, another flash erupts behind you
>Turning around your father pulls another photo out of the camera
>”And now we can finally add a picture to the album of Gar adding a picture to the album”
>”Oh, this is so exciting!”
>Both your parents start laughing, smiling at the picture as they do
>Are they really that desperate for photos of you?
“Uh, do you guys need for photos for this thing?”
>”Oh we’d love to always put a few more in there, especially because haven’t really had the chance to do so these last few years”
“Well, how about we go around and take some nicer ones that don’t involve me staring at a book?”
>”You really want to?”
“Of course, I want you guys to have more memories of us together in here”
>”Well where would you want to go and do that? We can go out and do whatever you want, today is about you after all”

>>25538795
We still have to make sure hype is alive. We also have to take that test. If we can pass it they can take a picture then too.

Let's go to the park and take a picture of pushing dad on a swing. It'll be hilarious.

>>25538847
Just watch out for squirrels.

File: nopls.png (19KB, 290x276px) Image search: [Google]

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>>25538890
Fluffy little bastards

>>25538847
Parents could come to town with us and get a picture of us getting our certificate, us getting our ribs crushed in a goodbye hug from pen, us waving as we get on the bus, etc.

>>25539051
what should we do if they try to follow us?

>>25539091
Run.

>>25539091
silly poses.

“We could head on over to the park, maybe we could get a picture of me pushing dad on the swing!”
>”Oh, that’d be a nice picture, huh dear?”
>”I’m up for it”
“Yeah, and then afterwards I have to go see if my friend is still alive”
>”…What?”
“I-I mean, I have to go take my test”
>”Oh… Well, do you have to leave after that?”
“Unfortunately, I have to get to a date tonight, and then I have work tomorrow”
>”A date huh? Well whatever helps get us some pictures of grandchildren in that album”
>You’re glad that you mom is so committed to seeing pure unicorn seed spread
“I’m working on it mom. But hey, if you two stop by after my test, you can get a picture of me getting my certificate!”
>”Well, we do need something to put in place of your high school diploma”
“I got a GED, ok? We already went over this an-, you know what, never mid”
>A few minutes later and you and your parents exit the home, enjoying the summer morning as you trot along towards the local park
>”I can’t believe that we’re actually taking you back here dear, why you used to absolutely love it when we brought you to the park”
>She’s right, the park was always a good time
>Well except for that one see saw accident
>To this day you’ll never approach a teetering board, too many painful memories
>Walking into the small park the grass crunches under your hooves as you all make your way over to the equipment
>A couple of foals run around excitedly as their parents watch from a bench over by the slides
>”Aww, it reminds me of when we used to bring little Gar here”
>”Sure does dear… So you said that you wanted a pictures on the swings?”
“Yeah, just right over her-“
>You freeze as you turn to the swing set, spying the furry terror
>A squirrel sits next to the swings, dark unblinking eyes peering at you as it’s tail twitches

>>25539295
>You’re glad that you mom is so committed to seeing pure unicorn seed spread
Not with those bat balls. :^)

>>25539295
It's okay, not all squirrels are murderous psychopaths intent on eating ponies.

right?

>>25539314
[anime laughter in the distance]

>>25539295
We put up with breezies, squirrels ain't shit.

File: 1447930909116.png (216KB, 1000x568px) Image search: [Google]

216KB, 1000x568px

>>25539357
How wrong you are

>>25539407
It only takes two breezies to do that.

>>25539295
Tell your parents you love them. Greet the squirrel and ask if you can use the swing. Or just use the swing next to it.

>Time seems to slow to a crawl as the tree rat gazes at you with the black, cold eyes, almost like a doll’s
>”… Dear? Are you ok?”
“Y-yeah mom… I’m fine”
>Ok, this is no big deal. You’ve dealt with breezies, squirrels aint shit
>And besides, not all squirrels are psychopathic killers, right?
>The squirrel picks up a nut, a loud crunch resonating as its razor sharp teeth pierce the tough exterior
>… Right?
>Taking a deep breath , you work up your courage
“Mom, dad. No matter what happens, just remember that I love you”
>”What? I mean, we love you too, but what are you doing?”
>You don’t answer them, slowly trotting up to the watching rodent
>Every time it’s furry tail flicks you nearly gasp, remembering how all their tails flailed as they carried off Hype to be stowed
>Approaching the fuzzy bastard, you lean down slightly, carefully examining it
“Hey there little guy, mind if I use the swing?”
>He looks back at the swing set for a minute
>Before whizzing around and cocking its arm back
“Ow!”
>An acorn collides with your head, bouncing off with a dull clunk
>As you rub your face the little jackass quickly hops away, chittering like a mad man

>>25539692
Wow rude.

>>25539692
Let's just take the picture and get out of here.
Ask if your parents saw that.

>>25539692
Pshh, whatever. At least we don't grab nuts all day.

>Turning around your parents are just idly chatting behind you
“Did you just see that?!”
>”See what dear?”
“That squirrel just assaulted me!”
>”Oh Gar, you probably just scared the poor thing”
>Of course they’d take the squirrel’s side. Nopony ever blames the squirrel
“Well at least I don’t grab nuts all day!”
>Folding your arms in victory, you shoot the tree that he went up a smug look
>Only to have at least a dozen little heads poke out of the branches, all focused on you
“… So, lets get this picture taken and get out of here?”
>”What’s the rush dear?”
“N-no reason! Come on dad, up on the swings you go!”
>He shrugs, passing the camera to mom as he walks over and gets up on the swing set
“You ready?”
>”I guess son. Just not too hard, ok?”
>Pushing lightly at first, your dad gently raises up with the swing, only to come back down in the same arc
>Giving another pushes he goes a little higher, and higher
>Soon he’s about at perfect swinging height
“You got the picture mom?”
>”Hang on, just a second!”
>The click of the camera sounds followed by a low *whirrrr*
>”Got it!”
>It takes a little bit for the swing to lose velocity, but soon your dad hops off it, walking over to your mother with you
>”Feels a little weird having your own son push you on the swings you pushed him as a foal”
“Well I thought it was fun. Hopefully the picture turned out ok”
>You raise a hoof and your mom gingerly floats the picture into it
>Hm. Not bad. Both you and your dad look pretty excited, got him in mid swing
>Wait… what’s that?
>Holding the picture a little closer you can make out something in the background
>A pack of squirrels crawling up behind the swing set

>>25540004
Scared.

>>25540004
Tell your parents to look at the swing

>>25540004
w-who wants ice cream!

>>25540004
Don't look. They're not there if you don't look.

Tell our parents to look at the squirrels.

Might as well get them acquainted with our potential murderers.

Maybe our mom will be nice enough so the squirrels wont wreck us

>Oh. Oh no.
>The urge to turn around takes hold, yet you stand strong
>If you don’t look at them, they don’t exist
>Chittering behind you causes your pupils to shrink to pinpricks
“H-hey guys… Mind telling me what’s behind me?”
>”What do you mea- Oh dear look at all the little squirrels!”
>”Wow, there must be dozens of them!”
>Oh my god, this is how it ends
>”Aww they’re going to Gar. Gar be a dear and give them some nuts”
>There’s no way that you’re handing out acorns to your potential murderers
>You lift a hoof up only to have your blood freeze over as a furry tail brushes against your leg
“W-who wants ice cream?!”
>”Ice cream? But it’s still morning. And hold still for a sec, I want to get your picture with these cute squirrels!”
“ICE CREAM IT IS”
>Sprinting you almost run your parents over as you make for the park entrance, not even looking back
>You hit the street and just keep running, mind intent on safety
>Thirty minutes later your parents walk into the ice cream parlor that you hid in, sliding into your booth
>”There you are! We’ve been looking all over for you!”

>>25540357
Sorry about that, I have a friend who had some bad experiences with squirrels a little while ago.

Namely, tried to carry him away and eat him.

>>25540357
Had to make sure I'd lost them.

>>25540357
So what flavors you want? I'll pay.

“Sorry about that”
>”You went running down the street like a mad pony! What happened?”
“I had to make sure that I lost them”
>”W-what who?”
“The squirrels!”
>They both slowly look at each other, eyes full of confusion
>”Why were you running from the squirrels?”
“Well, one of my friends had a bad experience with squirrels a little while ago. Namely they tried to store him for winter as food”
>”… Are you feeling ok?”
>There’s no use in going on, they’ll never understand your trials and pains
“Just, just forget about it, I over reacted a little. But how about we order some ice cream?”
>”I guess that’d be fine?”
“Good. What flavors you want, I’m buying”
>A little while later you’re all happily munching no your frozen treats, the whole squirrel business far behind you
>You’re glad that you just so happened to run into this place, you used to come here every once in a while as a foal and it seems like it hasn’t changed much
>Brings back such fond memories… Like your first brain freeze
>”Gar?”
>You take another lick of your cone
“Yeah?”
>”Well, we’d just like to say that it’s meant the world to us that you came back to visit. We know that you have to leave soon, but it’s been the best couple of days that we’ve had in years since you came, and we that”

>>25540615
And we that what?

>>25540615
y-you too

>>25540786
Was supposed to say "And we really mean that"

“Well, th-thanks guys”
>”Don’t mention it. We were wrong to abandon you like that, and we see it now. We’ve seen that you’ve become a wonderful young stallion, and we want you to know that we’re proud of you”
“So, everything I did is in the past now?”
>”We shouldn’t have let you fade away to begin with, but yes. Everything that you, and we did wrong is behind us. We just want you to be our son again”
“I… Well geez. That means a lot to me”
>”We know. Trust us, it means a lot to us too. We’re just glad that you came back to us”
“And I’m glad that I came back too”
>Looking over at the clock, your class is nearing, only a couple hours away
>Your parents seem to have caught you staring at it, your mother’s voice taking a more somber tone
>”So. I guess it’s time for you to leave then?

>>25541093
Yeah, I guess so.

>>25541093
Yup. I'll come see you both soon though, I promise.

>>25541093
it's only a busride away.

>>25541145
Might even bring Ast or the breezies.

>Sighing, you nod
“I guess so. Class is coming up soon”
>”Oh. Well, do well Gar. We know that you’ll be just fine”
“Thanks dad. But I’ll come visit you guys soon enough, I promise. You’re only a bus ride away after all”
>”Really? You mean it?”
“Sure do mom. And who knows, maybe I’ll even bring my marefriend along”
>Her old eyes grow much brighter, smile pursing her lips
>”Well please, don’t hesitate!”
“Heh, I’m sure that she’d love to meet you”
>You catch your dad looking over at the clock once more, still looking a bit dejected that you have to go
>”Well hey Gar, after your test is over we’ll meet with you and take a picture of you getting your certificate, bring you that box of stuff that we packed for you too”
“That sounds good to me. Can always stand to add another picture to the album”
>Paying the bill you begin to say your goodbyes as they walk with you back to the bus stop, sticking around right up until it comes to pick you up
>”Goodbye Gar, we’ll be there later to see you get your certificate!”
“Looking forward to it, see you two later!”
>As the bus lurches forward you see your dad snap a picture of you waving in the window while your mother enthusiastically waves back
>In a minute, they’re out of view
>Slumping into your seat, you try to relax
>Felt good to be home…
>About an hour later and you’re walking off the bus, nearing the hotel
>Class is in less than an hour, you’ve got to get moving
>Heading up the stairs and pulling out your key, you pray to god that Hype is still alive after a night with Penacriss
>Swinging the door open you take a step inside
“Hey guys I’m… back?”
>Pen and Hype are in the middle of the room squatting next to a bottle, both of them wearing some type of track suit

>>25541517
Join in.

>>25541517
Well it's about fucking time. Assume the position.

>>25541517
This >>25541567 then ask why we're squatting. Also remember to tell Hype we got him a marefriend.

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64KB, 409x434px

>>25541567
>>25541621

Answer destiny's call with utmost vigor

>>25541517
join in, then ask why we're doing it.

>You quietly shut the door behind you, locking it
>Turning back around you casually walk over taking a place next to Pen, and squat
>It takes a few seconds to gain your balance and get the position right, but soon your squat is impeccable
>There you stay, motionless. The only sounds throughout the room is the occasional sipping of the vodka by Hype and Pen
>You know, this is peaceful. More ponies should take this up
>Maybe griffons aren’t so bad after all
“Sooo… Why are we squatting?”
>Pen gently places the bottle down, wiping his beak
>”We are of breaking in track suits”
“When’d you get track suits anyway?”
>”Last night. Was of bargain”
>”Yeah, it was a bargain!”
>Pen shoots him a look, Hype’s ears flopping downwards
>”I mean, was of bargain”
>The griffon nods in approval
>Well this weird

>>25542044
So, when are we of going to test? And how was night?

>>25542044
Well, sounds like you two had fun, but maybe we should get going?

>>25542044
So, Hype. No troubles last night?

“Sounds like you two certainly had fun last night”
>”Oh yes, it was… interesting, to say the least”
>”Was just like home!”
“Well good. But look at the time fellas, don’t you think that we should be going soon?”
>Pen lazily looks at the clock, blowing it off with a wave of his talon
>”It is of no big deal, we will of get there on time”
“Well we’re going to have to hurry, we don’t have that much longer”
>”Ugh. Of let me finish drink, then we can of go, yes?”
>You agree, the griffon snatching the drink and knocking it back
>As Pen finishes the bottle off you turn to Hype, barely containing the laughter as you look at him in his track suit
“So Hype, no troubles last night?”
>”I mean, Pen tried to get me to beat up a cyka”
“No, I mean like super natural trouble”
>”Oh! Nope, none of that. Well, I mean, after you left I almost drowned in the bathtub, but at the last second all the water drained away. I don’t know how, but it was almost as if the curse suddenly disappeared!”

>>25542377
I may have talked to Raven and gotten her to remove the curse, and the good news doesn't stop quite yet. I also got you a date with her.

The bad news is, if the date doesn't go well, we're both going to get cursed. And worse than before.

So, once we get back, we're gonna have to train you to git gud at dating.

Pausing. Got any questions?

>>25542412
Totally random, but what's Gar's opinion on changelings?

>>25542442
Never met one, and doesn't give them much thought. But he thinks it's kind of cool how they have a horn

>>25542377
You somewhat mended things with Raven but you're not quite out of the woods yet Hype.

>>25542377
Get hype Hype, 'cause you got a date!

Good news, I got you a date back home in baltimare whose had a troubled love life and has a thing for bat ponies, you're perfect for it!

Reminder that Gar was forced to tongue Nightlight's ponut

Let's ask hype what he knows about first dates and then we can work up from there

>>25545511
>I know that they end in being mauled

beb

>All this circlejerking over Gar and batshit
This CYOA really is pure autism.

>>25546321
>implying this CYOA isnt about jerking off Bats

>>25546293

here we go.

>>25548023

“Hm. What a total coincidence”
>”More like miracle, I thought that I was done for!”
“Where was Pen during all this?”
>”He wanted to help, but he was too busy squatting. But anyway, how was your trip?”
“It was pretty nice, my parents were glad to see me. But guess what, I set up something for you?”
>”Set up something? What do you mean?”
“Get hype, Hype! Because you’ve got a date!”
>His eye grow wide, face contorting into the most excited grin you’ve ever seen
>”R-really?”
“Yup!”
>”Who is she Gar? Tell me, tell me!”
“Well her name is Raven, an-“
>”Raven, what a lovely name…”
>He looks like he’s beginning to day dream
“And she’s a mare from Baltimare who’s had some trouble with her love life, but she has a thing for bat ponies”
>”Wait a minute, I’M a bat pony! And, and that means…”
>You nod slightly
“That’s right, she wants to go out with you”
>”EEEEEE! This is best moment of my life!”
>He does a couple of excited hops, wings unfurling behind him
>”Tell me about her Gar! What’s she like?”
“Well, she’s a unicorn”
>”Uh huh!”
“And she has a light blue coat”
>”Uh huh!”
“And a really nice black mane”
>”… uh huh…”
“And beautiful emerald eyes!”
>His face seems frozen, eyes filling with terror
>”N-no… You didn’t”

>>25549707
The only way to overcome your fear is to face it and master it, or her in this case.
But she'll probably be doing the mastering.

>>25549707
I, uh, didn't have much of a choice.

>”EEEEEE! This is best moment of my life!”
>He does a couple of excited hops, wings unfurling behind him
Too QT


I did. It was that or she gets us both. but don't worry, I'll be there for you every step of the way. I heard you talking to her when Pen was trying to help, don't tell me you weren't a little bit interested!

>>25549707
You don't want the curse to kill you (and me) right?
This is the only way.

>>25549707
All you had to do was fire. This is our only alternative.

“I uh, didn’t really have much of a choice to be honest”
>”What are you saying? That, that you sold me out to her!”
“Hype calm down, it was either you date her, or she curses both of us worse than currently”
>”But… but I was almost eaten by squirrels, what could be worse?”
“I actually found out that the squirrels weren’t her doing, they’re just assholes”
>”But Gar I can’t, I just can’t! I’m going to make an ass of myself and then she’ll kill us!”
“Now now Hype, the only way to overcome your fear is to face it and master it, or her in this case”
“I’m still scared…”
“Hey, I heard you talking to her when Pen did that ritual. You said that she was cute”
>”Well, yeah she is, but she’s also a maniac”
“Well yeah, you can’t say that you weren’t a little bit interested, can you?”
>He sighs, ears folding backwards
>”I guess… She is pretty beautiful”
“There you go! I’ll be with you every step of the way, so you don’t have to worry”
>”Isn’t there another way?”
“Hey, you had your chance, all you had to do was not miss with the gun”
>”But Gar, I know nothing about dating. The other night was my first contact with a woman and it ended in me getting mauled!”

>>25550036
She knows you're rough around the edges, she's comparing against you from weeks ago so you'll look great just being a regular pony.

“Look, she knows that you’re a little rough around the edges”
>”But Gar, I’m just one big rough edge! There’s nothing past that!”
“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. She seems pretty desperate for some action, so you’re a shoo in”
>”But she’s still a psycho witch. What if she turns me into a newt or something?”
“Relax, I got a terrarium at home, and I can pick up a book on reptiles at the library”
>”But it’s an amphibian…”
“Same thing”
>”… You know, maybe I’ll take my chances with Pen as a care taker”
“Yeah good luck when he gives you vodka instead of wate- you know what just forget it. You’re not going to turn into a newt”
>”How do you know?”
“Because she’s just comparing your performance to you a few weeks ago when you met her. And trust me, you’re even miles ahead of when I met you just the other day”
>”You sure?”
“Positive. Being a semi normal pony now will make you look great in comparison”
>”But what will I do o the date? I don’t even know the difference between the salad fork and the dinner fork!”
“Relax, you’re going to an art gallery with her”
>”You cykas of ready? I am of out of drink, no more reason for me to not take test now”

>>25550475
Let's go ace that test.

>>25550475
Yeah yeah, c'mon then you drunken Myдaк, lets go.

>>25550475
Let us be of goings then.

>Whelp, time for you to ace this test and fulfill your destiny as a loss theft prevention manager
>Mom and ad will be so proud!
“Come on you drunken fool, let’s get to that test”
>”Hey! Of not of drunk!”
>Rolling your eyes you follow Pen to the door, Hype trailing just behind
>Not much longer later you all enter the building, Hype saying his good byes and good lucks before peeling off to his auditorium
>Walking up to yours however, a couple of instructors stand next to the closed door
>”Head on back down to those rooms that you trained in the other day”
“But what about the test?”
>”That is the test”
>Wait, you get to mess around with those neat goggles instead of writing shit for your final test
>That’s freaking awesome
>”Of come on, we must get to room”
>Following Pen along with plenty of other ponies down the hallway you eventually find the original room that you were in, a few other ponies already seated
>Walking towards them you and Pen plop down at the table next to your goggles
>”Alright, everypony ready for the test?”
>You all nod and agree
>”So here’s the deal. In order to catch thieves, you have to think like thieves. For your final test your task is to shoplift certain items and attempt to avoid being restrained. The longer you stay un captured, the better your grade. Any questions?”

>>25550840
Interesting test, but sure, let's do it.

>>25550840
nope, we got this

>Interesting test if you don’t say so yourself
>But it seems like fun getting to be on the other side for once
“I think that we’re set sir”
>Another couple of ponies mumble and agree as well
>”Alright, excellent. Everypony put on your goggles, we’ll be starting here in a minute
>Doing as your told you lift up the device, placing it on top of your head
>Besides you Pen grins as he does the same
>”Of good luck Gar”
“Good luck to you too Pen. I know that we’ll do just fine”
>With that you pull them down over your eyes, seeing nothing but darkness
>But soon enough the familiar whirring noise starts up, followed quickly but light as the world begins to take form
>A few seconds later you find yourself near the entrance to a large looking store, dozens of ponies bustling around in the various aisles and checkout areas
>Taking a step forward something crinkles on your hoof
>Lifting it up, you take note of the small list
>To steal: Bottle of alcohol (1), Flashlight (1), XXX rated magazine (1)

Pausing

>>25551113
Well, the first step is to blend in with your fellow customers and scout the place out. Look for the each of the products before you try to steal them so you don't waste time grabbing them in a hurry. Keep an eye out for any cameras.

>>25551154
I assume you're taking the Thanksgiving weekend off?

>>25551113
Okay, here's the plan.

We take a page from Floral's book. Hide out in one of the shelves, and when an employee walks by, we pull him in, knock him out, and take his uniform.

No one expects a store employee to be stealing.

>>25551186
>No one expects a store employee to be stealing.
What.

anyway, the magazine is easy mode. grab two and return one to the shelf later. cameras and employees watching from a distance would have difficulty distinguishing between one or two and it's normal for customers to change their mind and dump product.

boop

If the lighter is small, is going in our mouth.

Magazine is a bit easier. Grab two, roll up one, put one back. Keep rolled up one on you or ticked in a jacket

Liquor is hard. See if you can get a casket to leave their station and'help' you worth something high up
When they're distracted, make off with the bottle in the new open defense

>>25551113
Let's find this shit.

So gentlemen, what XXX magazine should we acquire?

>>25553520
Big Booty Bats should be up in the front and easy to grab. Besides, it's just a simulation. No one will ever know.

>>25553700
>Open it up
>Nightlight's ass is on the first page

>>25553750
Poor mare had to put herself through college and there aren't a lot of job opportunities for bats.

File: 1440023518641.png (120KB, 800x796px) Image search: [Google]

120KB, 800x796px

>>25553757
Tragic for her, great for stallions everywhere

>>25551113
Eat the note. There can be no evidence.

I want to lightly poke Pen's balls

>>25554283
http://i.imgur.com/Ze5NMj7.gif

>>25553770
>Batcrap

>>25554353
>http://i.imgur.com/Ze5NMj7.gif
fuck.

>>25554367
No Shiny, that's a bat ass

>>25554664
Not after that.

Remember, we can always roll for seduction if we get caught.

>>25556058
Bat what if we get caught by a bat?

>>25556154
*But
God this quest has done things to me

>>25556154
Then we'll just have to beat them over the head with it.

>XXX magazine huh? That might be the easiest item to nab, so you’ll go for that first
>Taking a quick look around you quickly crumple up the note and throw it in your mouth
>Can’t risk having any evidence
>You chew it thoroughly before swallowing, forcing it down your throat
>Mmm. Tastes like paper cut
>Alright, time for step one. Blending in with your fellow customers
>Trotting further into the store you do your best to mimic what everypony else seems to be doing
>Carefully comparing products, smiling at the passing employees, examining coupons
>You’d be a model customer if it wasn’t for your darker intentions
>As you walk around you slyly take note of where the cameras are and what areas the employees seem to gather around
>After walking through enough of the store to appear innocent, but not enough to look suspicious, you finally make your way over to the magazine rack
>Another quick peek around shows just a couple of stallions peering at the magazines with no employees in site
>If there’s camera’s around, you don’t see them
>Hm. They wanted an XXX magazine
>This is a delicate decision, and must be made with the utmost diligence
>Looking over your choices, your eyes settle on the latest copy of Big Booty Bats monthly
>A plot seductively sways on the front cover, crack barley covered by her tail
>Honestly, it reminds you a little of Nightlight’s supple behind
>Hello boner
>Reaching out excitedly you slyly grasp both the front magazine and the one behind it, gently lifting them up so that they appear as one

>>25556747
Let's look for that flashlight.

alright. continue as planned, then for the flashlight 'accidentally' break something in the next aisle and prompt a cleanup, then pinch the light while the employees are dealing with that. Alternatively, wait for them to be approached by a Wop. Wops are a shoplifters best friend.

>You flip through the pages of the magazine, trying to appear like you’re genuinely interested in ogling those plump bat butts
>… Ok, maybe you’re not faking that part
>After just a minute you carefully turn and slip one of the magazines into your saddle bag while flipping the page on the other with your magic
>Success
>Turning back to the rack you casually shrug and place the remaining magazine back on the rack, walking away as soon as it’s in place
>Hey, that wasn’t too hard. And you haven’t been mobbed by security yet
>Looking up you walk past a crowded aisle and examine the signs
>Hardware… Office supplies… House supplies
>A flashlight should be in house supplies right?
>Taking a chance on it you walk into the aisle and start scanning
>After walking by what seems to be a shelf of roosting bars you spy the perfect target
>Plenty of flashlights in all shapes and sizes, waiting for your hoof to snatch them
>Suppose you should go for one of the tiny pocket sized ones, they never specified how big it should be
>But how to take it?
>Thinking for a moment, your brain hatches the perfect plan
>You fling yourself into the shelf, items clanging and spilling all over the floor
>Groaning you stand up on shaky hooves, your side aching
>But it seems that you’ve succeed in causing a distraction, along with a few of the flshlights being knocked on the floor
>”What happened?!”
>A pony in a store uniform stares in confusion at you from the end of the aisle

>>25557167
Some colt came bombing by with a cart and bumped me. somebody should stop them before they hurt someone seriously. Damn foals.

>>25557167
Well that was dumb.
Tell them you're stuck in here and to help pull you out.

>Wait, why the fuck did you do that? That was pretty stupid
>Raising your eyes the store pony now stands next to you with a deeply concerned face
>”Are you ok sir?”
“Uh… Some foal came flying by in a shopping cart and bumped into me. Someone should stop him”
>”Well what way did he go?”
“… Towards the exact opposite end of the store”
>”I mean, I’ll call it in, but are ok alright?”
“I feel fine, but I think I’m stuck. Mind giving me a hoof and pulling me out of here?”
>The employee complies and you take hold of his hoof
>After a couple good yanks your body begins to raise out of the pile, random products skittering across the floor as you do
>After a moment you stand up and stretch your legs just fine much to the relief of the pony
>”Feel fine?”
“Yes, I think so. Well, thanks for your help”
>”Well hang on sir, I’ll call in what happened and see if I can get some ponies to help clean up this mess”
>He stoops over and scoops up some fallen merchandise, his horn glowing as his speaks on the radio

>>25557627
Just tell them what I told you. I have important business to get to. Adieu monsieur

>>25557627
Just make sure to snatch a flashlight when no one's looking.

>As he continues chattering on the radio and trying to put products back on the shelf your gaze wonders downwards
>One of the small flashlights has rolled out towards your hoof
>Casually looking at both ends of the aisle it seems like the coast is clear, most other customers avoiding it while the employee cleans up
>Swiftly you snatch the fallen light, tucking it firmly into your saddle bag in one quick motion
>Taking one last look at the employee, he’s totally unware of your crime as he continues to clean up
“Well, I have some important business to get to, so unfortunately I won’t be able to stick around”
>”But sir this was a pretty serious little incident, we’d prefer it if you could talk to security”
“I wish I could, but I really do have to be going. Just tell them what I told you”
>”But-“
“I bid you adieu monsieur!”
>Walking out of the aisle before he can respond you wipe the sweat off of your brow
>Can’t believe that stupid little stunt actually worked
>But now you’ve got two of the three items without major incident, and all you need now is just a bottle of alcohol
>You are so going to ace this test!
>Trotting along through the hustle and bustle of the store you make your way to the back of store where they keep all of the alcoholic beverages
>Following the directions, your coat soon feels a bit chilled as you walk up to a room in the back
>Stopping, your eyes gaze up to the red sign above the cooled opening
>Beer Cave

>>25557881
Pick up some beer. You have all three items. Now for the hard part. Most of the employee's should be at the flashlight aisle so you have a hole in their defense and you can slip out the store.

>>25557881
Before we go grabbing, do some looking around in the beer cave.
Find somewhere that's free from both any employee that's watching and the cameras, then use another pony entering the cooler as a distraction.

>Alright, all you have to do is pick up a drink and get out of here, no big deal
>Only a few more minutes and you’ll have your certificate
>Deciding to take a quick peak inside just to scope out the area you walk inside the chilled cave, your fur standing on end as the temperature drops
>Before you stands a massive assortment of beers, sprites, wines, and everything in between
>You’d feel bad about stealing from such an impressive display if your grade didn’t depend on it
>Spying a camera near the entrance you walk into a corner, passing another pony who is peering at some beer as you do
>Turning towards the drinks, you take another peek to confirm that you are in fact in the clear
>Swiping the alcohol quickly you nervously place it into your bag, knowing that of all the items this will most likely be the hardest to smuggle out
>After it’s in place you peek around the corner, the camera focused on the first pony
>As you try to plan your escape you see the machine shift as stallion enters the cave, camera following him for a few seconds
>Now’s your chance!
>Trying to quickly yet casually walk out while the camera is unfocused you slip out of the cave, warmth of the store returning
>… Well that was easy
>But now you have to figure out a way to leave the store with your prizes

>>25558280
either buy something, or ask if they have a certain product and leave if they don't stock it.

>>25558280
Let me guess, they have one of those shoplifting alarms by the exit?

As another pony leaves, chuck some box or something next to them to set off the alarm, and while the alarm is going off, we walk through as well.

>>25558308
We should probably look before we try something like that. I'm all for buying a couple more dirty magazines, though.

>>25558308
Or make use of our TK. send the bags through along the ground with another pony, then nothing would even set them off as we go through later.

>Maybe you should ask for a product before leaving? That way it doesn’t look as suspicious as you leave empty hooved?
>Wandering around a little you eventually find a blue shirted employee and flag them down
“Hey, I don’t know if you’re the right pony to ask, but do you carry the anniversary edition of Rustled Feathers?”
>”Uh… This is a family store sir”
“That’s not true, I too- I mean, I saw a copy of Big Booty Bats on the magazine rack!”
>”There is a huge difference between those two sir”
“Alright whatever. But do you have it or not?”
>”We could put it on backorder? Or you could just go home and order it you pervert”
>Geez, why’s she got a stick up her ass? Rustled Feather’s isn’t THAT explicit
>… Ok maybe the wings jobs were a little graphic, but that’s it!
>Shrugging her off you continue on with your quest
>Walking towards the front of the store you briefly peek into the aisle that you caused a mess in
>Several employees finish up cleaning, carefully examining products before they put the back on the shelves
>They’re still distracted, but not for long. You’ve got to get moving
>Quickening your pace, you approach ever closer to the exits, the sunlight pouring in through them as ponies walk in and out
>It looks way too easy…
>Taking a small item off a shelf you wait until the perfect moment to carry out your plan
>As the door opens you silently power up your horn, inconspicuously sliding the object out the door
>… No alarm
>Waiting a few minutes no employees walk up to check out the doors either
>Taking a few steps forward, you put on a cool face as you walk to freedom
>Man, this store really needs to work on its security. You think they’d invest in something a little mor-
>”Of leavings so soon, are we?”
>Looking down, a shadow is cast over you from behind
>…Fuck

>>25558566
Well this is hardly fair.

>>25558566
"Look Pen! A vodka crate!"

>>25558566
Are you the guy I talk to about putting Rustled Feathers on the backorder?

>>25558566
AM I BEING DETAINED

>>25558641
This one here.

File: image.jpg (72KB, 950x534px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 950x534px

>>25558566
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"

Hope he falls for it, run the fuck away from there. Chariot-jack someone in the parking lot for a getaway vehicle if you can.

Can we just start pressing 'F'?

>Your eyes dilate to the size of diner plates as you realize the full extent of what’s happening
>This… this isn’t fair. This just isn’t fair
>Who the fuck hires a mercenary to guard a grocery store?
>Ok Gar, no big deal. Pen is your friend, he understands that you need a good grade
>Taking in a deep breath your slowly turn around to face the griffon
>Penacriss stands there, dark sunglasses concealing his eyes as a blue cap covers his head with a pin attached
>Security
>Pen likes jokes, maybe that will soften him up
“So, are you-the guy that I talk to about putting Rustled Feathers on back order?”
>His face leans forward a little, sharp looking beak opening
>”You are of looking to rustle feathers, hm? Well I think that I can of help”
>His feathers immediately poof up a little, wings extending as he because even more menacing somehow
“N-no, that’s… that’s not what I meant, I jus-“
>”Just of what? Thought that you could of walk out of here you little cyka?”
>Ok, time for a change of tactics
>You saw some video of a guy dealing with the cops and he kept yelling a phrase that got him off scot free!
“AM I BEING DETAIN-“
>You’re cut short as a powerful talon smashes into you, sending you flying across the tiled floor
>A few yards away you hit a shelf, causing several boxes of cereal to fall onto your crumpled form
“Ughhhh…”

>>25558894
You know, we don't actually have any of the stolen stuff on us, so...

>>25558902
This. And if things go bad, we crawl inside the shelves. Pen is too big to use his size effectively in the shelves and we can use it to our advantage.

Pen doesn't know we can teleport.
so surrender and boof the fuck out the second he lets up his attack.

>>25558902
When did we ditch our bag?

>>25558921
Oh shit, no, we just ditched a little can out the door.

Disregard my retardism.

>>25558894
Wonder if we get to play terrorist for Pen's test.

>>25558921
>>25558929

We haven't really stolen anything yet as we haven't run out of the store with them, and I don't think Pen saw the can thing. That was a couple minutes before he showed up.

>>25558952
he's only attacking us because of how we look.
Cry racism and sue the store.

>>25558947
Anon please, no. We can only handle one horrible virtual death

>>25558963
Do you think suing the store would let us win the scenario? Technically, we're stealing a lot more than what they asked for.

I wonder what virtual court is like.

>>25558978
>The longer you stay un captured, the better your grade

>You start to sit up only to be met with the huge griffon bearing over you
“H-hey Pen, I haven’t even stolen anything, I don’t know why you’re doing this to me
>Oh no, you cannot of escape griffon eyes. I have been of watching you since beginning”
“But, how? How did you know?”
>”No sane or innocent stallion would of put back issue of Big Booty Bat monthly with casual shrug”
>… Damn it. Porn was your undoing once again
>But there’s got to be a way out of this. You just can’t surrender, your grade is dependent on it
>Pen begins to reach down, talon heading straight for your bag
“Wait!”
>He stops, suspiciously glaring at you
“Alright Pen, you win. I give up”
>His beak crawls into a smile as he smirks, letting out a soft chuckle
>”You are of smarter then you of appear little horse”
>If only he knew
>While he reaches for a pair of hoof cuffs you close your eyes focus
>Let’s see how he handles you teleporting out of the store!
>A flash of light bursts forward and your body feels like it’s been ripped forward
>Opening your eyes you find that you’re no longer under the cereal boxes
“Hey it worked!”
>”You are of dead”
>Spinning around Pen advances upon you
>Look like you only managed to teleport a few feet away, putting Pen between you and the exit
>God damn it
“U-uh… Racist!”
>Pen raises an eyebrow, but atlest he stopped moving forward
>”Of what?”
“You’re only attacking me because of how I look! I’m suing!”
>Sweat runs down your face as you wait for his reply
>Man you better get mass protests supporting your cause for this
>”Oh Gar, it is not of racism. I am of doing this for entirely different reason”
“Wh-what’s that?”
>He reaches unto his security belt, whipping out an extending baton as a venomous grin creeps on his face
>”This is of pay back for of tricking me out of candy bar”

>>25559210
[panicked neighing]

>>25559210
Run towards the nearest shelf and try to dive inside.

Embrace your inner Floral.

>>25559242
Let's go with this. We can even try to take a hostage if things get bad.

>>25559257
You want us to molest him?

Time for a cliffhanger tonight. Any questions or comments for me?

>>25559280
You and your damn cliffhangers...
This is fun.

This may be our one and only chance to cockslap Pen without repercussions.

>>25559474
put that bat cock to use while we have it.

We can do it.

>>25559474
>without repercussions.
>Forgetting that this simulation allows us to feel real pain

Just had to take that candy bar the first day, didn't we?

>>25561606
and we'll get away with it, using all of our unicorn cunning.

But first; pegasus cunning. Dive into the shelves and if pen follows, teleport to the other side. he wont be able to easily fly over the aisle after he gets stuck chasing us into the shelf.

Bump bump

>>25559210
Dude, I can just buy you TWO candy bars if you let me pass.

>>25561636
dude our teleporting never does what we want it to do. We're more likely just popping into his claws

Find the biggest, toughest earth pony in the store, run past him and when pen passes him stop and say 'Dude, I think that guy just called you a cyka!'

>>25559277
Whatever it takes to win.

>>25559210
Run back to the alcohol section and push the vodka isle over. Pen will be too distracted to stop us afr that.

>>25566229
What if we go into the yarn section instead?

>>25566229
>>25566258
What if we pour vodka on some yarn? Surely he cannot resist.