Anon in pone prison

>>25497848
shit are all these pastas different stories?

>>25497869
Some of the pastas have multiple stories!

>>25497613
>As your internal monolouge ends
>You look up and see...
>OSHITZIGGERWTF!WHYDOESTHATEXIST?!WTFISGOINGON?!WHYISTHISHAPPEINGTOME?!WHATDIDIDOTODESERVERTHIS?!DEARCELESTIAWHY?!WTFBBQ!
>The green minotaur is charging toward you!
>um...Brain now is a good time to, you know, do your job!
>Brain:Ummmmmmmm...NOPE!
>Well then...
>As the green minotaur runs you are standing still in shock your body like stone.
>The minotaur keep running and Barrels into Rarity!
>???:"ow the edge"
>What?
>You look at the green minotaur and realize something...
>It has no fur!
>And it has no horns!
>???:"lol u wot m8?"
>W..what?
>R:"[High-Pitched Horse Screaming Noises]
>Oh Sweet Celestia, Rarity has a Booboo!
>Trotting over to look at it you see the booboo on her elbow!
>Oh no!
>That mean green not-minotaur just hurt Rarity!
>???:"pls leev. im tryn 2 fap"
>You look at the booboo then pull out the book as a reference
>Reading through you decide to just put a band-aid on it.

>>25497869
I think they are all the same

I will be back in a little bit im gonna type up more green.

>>25497848
>Not good enough for OP list
O-ok...

Thread #26, I believe. Here's more green. Check muh pastabin for previous developments.

>...
>You've been waiting for her to say something, but she's just staring at you
>Mouth slightly agape
>Cheeks a little rosy
>You're getting weirded out
"...can I help you, Princess?"
>Better be polite if you want out of here
>She snaps out of it
>"Oh! No, I would never impose! Rather, it is I who should be offering you my service, High One!"
>nigga wut
>She steps into your cell and makes what appears to be the horse equivalent of a bow
>"It is my honor to stand in your presence, and it would be an even greater one to serve you, Kin of Faust."
>...Faust?
>That's a human name, unless there are little German horses running around somewhere
>Have humans been here before?
>Let's roll with it
>Maybe you can get her to help you get home
>Tell her your people need you or some shit
"Ahem. No need for formalities, Celestia. And yes, I do indeed require your aid."
>Fucking nailed the intro
>She looks really excited too
>Like when you tell your little cousins you'll let them play M-rated games behind their parents' backs
>C-cute
>"Truly? you need only speak your desire, and I will see it done!"
>Nice
>You've got a princess fawning over you
>Dad would be proud
"I require your aid in returning to my home realm of Earth. I was parted from it by forces unknown, and must return swiftly. My people have need of me."
>She's all wide-eyed
>"A-at once! I will return to the castle, and seek any clues as to how you were brought here. If we can determine that, we can work on how to return you! W-would you like to board at the castle while you wait?"
>Blush + lip bite
>U-unf
>NO!
>She's a horse
>A strangely attractive horse, but a horse all the same
>Now how are you gonna play this?
>...
>Let's stay here.
>For one, you'll just freak out more horses if you leave the prison
>For two
>You're pretty damn sure Luna's going to be in that castle
>And that's an encounter you'd rather not have

>>25498001
what is your pastebin?

>>25498009
http://pastebin.com/dm6L4zZY

>>25498037
fuck..ok im sorry

>>25498052
The link that posted is actually Bluebird's. Mine's up at the top, same as my name

>>25498037
>>25498052
Oh....
OH
I'm a moron.
Fuhgeddabboudit

>>25498103
k :^D

>>25498008
I like where this story is going.

>>25498008
"I shall remain here, Celestia. Your ponies may not be ready for my presence just yet, and I find my lodgings sufficient. You may contact me whenever you wish."
>You're pretty decent at pulling off this big shot act
>You just wish you knew what she was talking about
>"O-of course! You may be correct, O Anonymous. My ponies can be rather excitable. I... I will be in regular contact with reports on our progress! I'll see you soon!"
>BLINDING FLASH O' SUNLIGHT OUTTA NOWHERE
"What the fuck?!"
>You fall on your ass like a sperg
>...she's gone?
>Was that magic?!
>Awesome!
>Warden wasn't kidding!
>Brass Badge is still here, and also dazed
>He's also looking at you with a mix of fear and awe
>"I-I must beg your pardon. I didn't know you were-"
>You hold up a hand, interrupting him
"Don't worry about it, Brass. We're still friends."
>His face lights up
>"Really?"
"Really. Thanks for bringing Celestia to see me."
>His face falls again, and he's staring at the floor
>"About that... I have a confession to make, Anon."
>Huh?
"What is it?"
>"I... I was asked to watch you by Princess Celestia. I didn't know why at first, but I guess it's since she holds you in such high regard. And she's here tonight because I was giving her my report. And... And I said..."
>Wow
>Whatever this is, it looks like it's tearing him up inside
>"...I told her you were really dangerous."
>...
>What, that's it?
"Brass... That's not something to apologize for. After all, it's the truth."
>He looks up at you
"I hurt those guards earlier, right? Plus, like with the arm wrestling earlier, I'm way stronger than ponies are. I could hurt someone by accident. You gotta help me stay out of trouble, alright?"
>He brightens up immediately
>"You got it!"
>He yawns
>"Oh... Sorry. It's getting late, Anon. We oughta head to bed.
>Cool, he's back to talking like he usually does
>Although you need to act like a god to keep up the illusion so Celestia helps you, you'd rather not be worshipped

>>25498270
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYprdmE1dFc

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814KB, 828x946px

>>25497848
If someone could make a list of which writefriends are alive and who is innactive, that would be ok

http://pastebin.com/u/Wand_of_inferno
http://pastebin.com/u/Mythd
http://pastebin.com/u/A-nonMoose
http://pastebin.com/u/Aftercase
http://pastebin.com/u/Shardok
http://pastebin.com/u/MLPNope
http://pastebin.com/u/Slownon
http://pastebin.com/u/shrimpasta
http://pastebin.com/u/Davyjones635
http://pastebin.com/u/jubileewritefag
http://pastebin.com/u/Zelis
http://pastebin.com/u/dungeoncrawler
http://pastebin.com/u/Spritejunkee
http://pastebin.com/u/Bluebirdd065
http://pastebin.com/u/PhysicsAnon
http://pastebin.com/u/EyeCancer

Added Bluebird, so I might do next thread (That if someone doesn't win me in doing it)

>>25498008
26?
I thought this was 28
Well, this is what happens when we don't have which number this thread is.

As for updates for my story, I was waiting for my drawfriend to finish something from the Sauna scene, but meh, I might update and later post it.
I told him if he could do all the wardens from the different stories, but that would take him much time in reading every story

>>25498349
im gonna save this image. might use it in a later thread

>>25497886
>What is THAT noise?
>You look up and see
>THE MANTICORE IS CHARGING AT EVERYONE
>OHSHITZIGGER!
>You get in front of Rarity in a defensive position
>Manticores give the WORST booboos!
>They even eat other things!
>That means they are monsters!
>You look at the charging manticore and...
>Your view is obscured by a large wall of flame!
>The heat of the fire burns your eyes!
>You look at the source and see...
>The mean green not-minotaur is spewing flames!
>He is probably being burnt.
>That's what he gets for giving Rarity a booboo!
"Girls get behind me!"
>The other elements get behind you and you erect a shield around everyone
"Ok girls we just need...to...what is that smell?"
>It smells terrible!
>Combine this smell with the smell from earlier and you could burn the fur off a parasprite!
AJ:"umm Twailaght...Tha flames have stopped...ya can lower ya shield now."
FS:"oh my...um twilight please lower the shield...I mean..if you want too...that is..."
>Lowering your shield only makes the smell stronger!
>Fluttershy flies over to the injured manticore and begins to speak comforting words
>NM:"lol get rekt scrub"
>You turn your attention back to the not-minotaur
>You look over at the green not-minotaur and see...
>IT KILLED THE MANTICORE!
>THE MANTICORE WAS IN THE FIRE!
>OH GOD YOU ARE FREAKING OUT
>OK JUST DEEP BREATHS!
>Calming down you stare at the not-Minotaur
"Girls form a moon shape around the green monster!"
>Doing as you say you charge up your horn in an attempt to stun the Not-Minotaur

>>25498349
I'll trust you on thread count. And that all-Warden image would be sweet.

I'm done for the night with my writing. I'm tired and I cant think straight. I will continue tommorrow about 1:30 pm PST

Oh and i believe it is thread 26

>>25498270
I LIKE IT.

>>25498270
"Alright. Goodnight for real, Brass. See you tomorrow."
>"Yeah! Goodnight Anon!"
>He heads out
>Alright
>Time to get amped out of your mind for a dream battle with Celestia's dream-stalking sister
>And figure out what you should do to combat her
>Power armor and a minigun still seems like a good option
>But should you make it shoot cotton balls or something?
>Celestia can't find out that you were trying to hurt her sister, dream or otherwise
>You don't actually /want/ to hurt her anyway
>Maybe make it shoot something sticky so she gets stuck or something?
>That'd work
>Plus, then she wakes up, tells Celestia about your badass (by their standards) combat skills, and reinforces the god image even further
>Perfect plan
>Let's do it
>You whip out your phone and put on some music to lull you to sleep
>After about half an hour, you drift off
>braceyourselfabluehorseiscoming.jpg
>You wake up in...
>...where the hell is this?
>It's a big-ass hallway
>Looks like it belongs in a palace
>But there's no windows or anything
>No side doors either
>It just leads to a pair of huge, ebony doors
>With a crescent moon emblazoned on either one
>You hear her giggle
>"Come, fair one. I await you."
>Her voice is coming from behind the doors.
>It's go time
>You stride down the hallway
>You'll /make/ her understand
>You throw open the doors
>That she blows
>You're in a pretty opulent bedchamber
>And she's right there, stretched out on the bed
>Trying to look sexy
>...kinda succeedi-
>NO WAI-
>She's already laughing again
>Shit
>Fucking mind-reading dream horse
>"You cannot hide your desires from me, certainly not after our last rendezvous! Come to me. My belly longs for your touch~"
>Goddammit
>You knew she'd be like this
>You fucked up when you tickled her belly last time
>Now she thinks you want it
>Time to set her straight and further cement your-
>...
>That was close
>"Cement your what~?"
>She's off the bed now, sashaying towards you
>Stupid sexy horse

>>25498741
>She stops just short of you, her face looking up into yours
>You've got a good few inches on her
>"Give in to your desires. I welcome it."
>God mode initiate
"I'll do no such thing. I am here not to woo, but to do battle for the sanctity of my mind, Princess of the Moon."
>She pouts
>"Do I not satisfy you...?"
>She turns slowly in place, showing her body
>F-fuck
>Her body looks pretty damn tight
>Ass so fat you gotta bite your lip
>And you can't help but-
>OHGODNODON'TSHIT
>You did the thing!
>Why did you do the thing?!?
>You imagined her in knee socks!
>She's got her hungry grin back
>"So socks /do/ hold some intimate significance with your kind... Most excellent to know. Now... /Behold/..."
>Slowly
>Agonizingly slowly
>Long, horizontally-striped blue-and-black socks materialize up her legs
>Shit
>Your fetish
>Your dick reacts
>You will never be clean again
>Time to play hardball
"I'll ask but once more. Leave me to peaceful sleep, or be driven from my mind! Choose!"
>She merely gives another fucking impossibly sultry grin in response
>"Then drive me, if you believe yourself capable! Show me your power, o beautiful dreamer!"
>You don't need any further invitation
"Gaze upon the might of the humans, insolent pony!"
>You close your eyes and focus
>You imagine the shape and of the T-60
>The little details
>How it moves
>Everything
>The dream starts to bend around you, morphing the very air into the metal of your armor
>As the mask seals shut over your face, you see Luna suddenly looking a hell of a lot less sure of herself
>Excellent
>Let's drive that point home
>You focus on the minigun
>What should you make it shoot?
>Has to be something harmless...
>But it still has to make an impact
>Let's go with...
>Bouncy balls
>Hell yeah
>Those super balls you used to get from the quarter dispensers
>Alright
>You visualize the gun and its rotating barrel
>The dream shifts again, materializing the gun into your hands
>Time to test fire
>Luna's eyes are saucers

>>25499175
kek
fantastic

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>>25499175
I think bounce balls would hurt her to much,
I picture it shooting pingpong balls, chasing her down the hall screaming
RRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>25499513
Or the new! Nerf Vulcan 50 caliber Nerf chain gun (from Nerf)!
Nerf!

>>25499175
Like this guy >>25499513 said, rubber balls would hurt too much.
Better options: Foam darts
Gum wads
spitballs
Tiny little guns that shoot deep fried beer cans
paintballs (Preferably of a colour that would really show on moon horse butt.)
rubber bands
those sticky hand on a rope things.
And if you want to be lewd, Hole seeking dildos

>>25501255
Just use a taser

>>25499513
I second both ping pong balls and sticky hand on a rope things.

Perhaps a pop gun as a sidearm?

>>25501255
Rubber balls would hurt too much, but paintballs would be just fine? Have you ever been hit by a paintball?

>>25499175
>The minigun spools up
>And fires for a split second
>Bouncy balls fly everywhere, bouncing all over the place and breaking shit
>...
>Maybe bouncy balls ware too much
>Fuck it
>Let's just make it a Nerf gun
>Switch ammo
>The dream bends slightly again
"You will be spared the full might of human weaponry so you do not pass out. You will experience the /entirety/ of your punishment."
>She shivers
"Now... prepare your body!"
>Spool up and fire
>Foam darts
>Foam darts everywhere
>Luna's getting pelted
>She bolts from the room
>"M-most impressive! But this amount of pain is nothing! I shall not yield yet!"
>Huh
>Well, it kinda makes sense she'd be tougher than the average pony
>You follow her out the door, into-
>A garden maze?
>She can do some crazy stuff with dreams
>You slowly walk into the hedges, trying to keep your mind clear so she can't get an advantage
>You can hear her moving around somewhere though
>You continue your advance until you reach a huge clearing
>There she is
>With a fuckton of guards
>She's got her own battle armor on now too
>"You handle yourself well against one! But show me how you handle this! These ponies are from an age long past, they do not fear boo-boos!"
>...do those little horses have fangs?
>Damn
>This'll get ugly if you let them get close
>And your gun won't mow them all down in time
>Time for some gun mods
>Shredder
>Except with long, rubber strands
>Like one of those big spinny brushes in a carwash
>As for ammo
>Those little snaps you can get on the 4th of July
>You summon up a back-up weapon too
>You do your best not to think about what it does though
>Luna can't know or else she'll try to stop it
>You're ready
"Bring it!!"
>You open fire into the pony army
>They charge
>It's like the final battle scene from The Last Samurai
>They're getting mowed down left and right
>Except they're just squealing and cowering when the snaps go off against their armor
>But they're still coming
>Gotta give the little horses horses credit

>>25502179
>They hasten the advance, trying to reach you before you can hit them
>Some of them are flying at you
>You target those first
>They fall out of the air with yelps and squeaks as the snaps hit them
>You refocus on the ground forces
>They're nearly in melee range
>You angle the mini gun barrel for your rubber shredder to do its work
>Slappityslappityslap
>The first one gets it right in the face
>You keep swinging your gun, the rubber strands laying a (light) beating on any little horse that gets too close
>You've broken their morale
>They can't even touch you, and aren't sure what to do next
>A few spells hurtle towards you
>They've got unicorns
>The beams wash over you before you can will spell resistance into your amor
>You're pretty much fine anyway, just dazed for a few seconds
>The guards are thoroughly frightened now
>Luna...
>Looks aroused
>Shit
>She flies over the host of disheartened guards, landing in front of them
>"Do not lose heart! Did you allow your brothers and sisters to receive such terrible frights for naught?!"
>They're starting to get amped up again now that she's going to lead them personally
>Alright
>Time to end this
>You switch weapons...
>Pulling out a Fat Man
>But not just any Fat Man
>Luna scoffs
>"A mere shoulder mounted catapult? Hardly a threat! Your previous weapon was better!"
>You scoff right back
"You think to lecture me on my own people's tools of war? Learn the depth of your folly!"
>You bring the Fat Man to bear
>Pull the trigger
>Luna's magic catches one altered mini-nuke as it leaves the cradle...
>...But not the seven other ones
>Experimental MIRV, baby
>The mini-nukes explode
>With paint
>Ponies are getting fucking coated
>The dream guards give up
>They're either flying away or booking their shit out of the clearing
>Just you and Luna now
>A paint-covered, heart-broken Luna
>She's tearing up
>"Why...? Why do you resist so? Do you like our sister more?"
>Fuck
>That face
>It's your kryptonite
>You drop your weapon

>>25503566
Just give in, anon.
Take that pretty night horse back to her room and kiss her forehead

>>25498008
It's actually #28 >>25498265

I'm back and all I have to say is Baltimore Orioles number one!

>join thread for shardok and mythd
>stay for PhysicsAnon and EyeCancer

>>25504400
I have checked your Double Dubs
When I start writing you can have any requests of the story. Just give me a screen shot of this to prove who you are.

>>25503566
Time to give the moon horse a hug.

>>25504666
sure thing, satan

>>25504666
Checked
With love-[s4s]

>>25504022
>>25504400
>>25504666
>>25505111
>>25505277
Damn, we've just been in check-central all day today!
And all of these dubs and trips demand prison-cuddles!

>>25505309
I must obey the will of Bateman.

>>25503566
>You disengage your power armor
>Luna looks on, slightly awed, as it opens and you step out
>You approach her
>...she's a mess
>She's got a bunch of paint all over her
>Some on her face
>Her tears running trails through it
>You're kind of an asshole for doing this
>You should try and explain
>Make her understand that you don't find anything wrong with her
"Come here, Luna."
>She shakily rises, sniffling
>You gently place a hand on her muzzle, turning her face up to look at you
>You will the paint away, restoring her and her battle armor to pristine condition
>You keep your hand resting gently on her face as you speak
"Luna, of the Moon. I find no flaw with you. Your beauty is something that I can find little comparison to, even among the wonders of my home."
>She visibly brightens
"I am simply unready to accept your affections. I am newly come to your lands, by events I neither willed nor desired. I've tasked your sister with securing a path for my return. Even if I were to take you into my arms right this moment, I could very well leave you tomorrow."
>She's back on the verge of tears again
>"W-why? Why leave? You could rule here! No sane pony would oppose it! You are kin to Faust, you are surely destined to be here!"
>There's that name again
>Should you ask?
>...no
>Not right now
>Luna needs comfort, not questions
"Because my old parents would go mad from grief. I am their only son, Luna. As we speak, my friends likely search for me, wondering what could possibly have become of me that I would go with no trace. Would you subject them to such sadness?"
>You also had a metric fucking ton of classwork you would need to catch up on after being gone for a day
>But that's not critical right now
>Luna sniffs
>"...no..."
>You rub her face a little
>She leans into it
>"...show me your world."
>What?
"What?"
>"Show me the world of humans. Your memories."
>Well shit, it's the least you could do
>But only the good stuff

>>25505803
And prepare for unintentional "eldritch horrors"!

>>25505803
Anon sure is good with words.

Charismatic as fuck.

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>>25505803

Nice. Please continue.

>>25505803
>You gently reach around Luna and pick her up
>She squeaks
>You don't even try to mask your thoughts on how cute that was
>She's also pretty light
>You change the dream
>You're back in your room in your apartment
>You set Luna down on the bed
"Remove your armor. I shall make this a comfortable experience for you."
>She blushes, but complies
>You arrange the blankets and pillows into a little nest, climb in, and pat your lap
>Luna looks ecstatic
>She scrambles over and does her best to fit her entire self onto your lap
>Doesn't quite work
>You pick her up again, moving stuff around and laying her down so the front part of her body lays on your lap, the back half on pillows, and then throw a blanket over the whole thing
>She leans her head against your chest
>That's one happy pony
>Right
>Showtime
>You close your eyes and concentrate, the rest of your room falling away from the bed, leaving only darkness
>At first
>You think you'll kick this off with a bang
>4th of July, in Washington D.C.
>When you open your eyes, your bed is now on the roof of your aunt's condo
>You've got a hell of a view of the Washington and Jefferson Monuments, as well as the Potomac River
>Luna's looking around, drinking it all in
>"Where is-?"
>CRACK
>"AAAGH!"
>The fireworks were massive, so their detonations could actually be felt
>She clings to you
"Peace, Luna. They are fireworks."
>She looks up and sees them, gasping
>"How pretty... Is this some festival?"
>Hm
>You could tell her the straight truth
>But you want to keep up the godlike image of your world
>Multiple nations and whatnot would somewhat cheapen that
>Let's twist it a little
"It is a yearly summer celebration, honoring camaraderie and good cheer. Fireworks are a mainstay of the festivities."
>Luna looks on in wonder, and examines the landmarks
>"The city is beautiful! Where is it? And that pillar, is it a monument? That domed building over there also stands out, the architecture reminds us of ancient Pegasi styling!"

>>25506859
"Yes. Both are monuments to famous humans. As for this city, it is the one of the most important on Earth."
>Her eyes widen
>"Is it your Canterlot?"
"Similar, yes."
>She accepts that
>She's content to just attempt to fuse her upper body to your lap and her cheek to your chest while she watches the fireworks
>"Most beautiful, Anonymous... Is this the city you reside in?"
"No. I live far away from here, but saw this sight when I came to visit an aunt."
>She looks up at your face
>"How many humans are there?"
>Ohhhhhh boy
>How you field that one?
>You're not sure how she'd react to the real number...
>Hm...
>Plead ignorance?
"I do not know, exactly. But I have seen a great many of my fellows in my life."
>Which begets a whole other slew of questions from a rapt-at-attention Luna
>Some in a very quiet voice
>"And how old /are/ you? Are humans dominant in your world? Are there other species? W-What's your ideal age range for a m-mate? Have you met Faust? What powers do you hold? Do you like astronomy? Do you like females with hobbies...?"
>You shake your head, chuckling
>Is she trying to slip those in and hoping you'll answer unwittingly?
>Fucking cute
>You're going to tease her a little
"Oh my, Princess, I don't believe some of those questions pertain to my home?"
>...that's a bright shade of pink she just turned
>How does she do that with blue fur?
>"I-I demand you answer my-!
>Whoa
>The dream's shaking?!
>You look to Luna, who's looking up at you sadly
>"You are awakening... And we only got to see one memory..."
>You smile
"We shall just have to do this again tonight, won't we?"
>"T-truly?! Oh Anonymous, we adore you!"
>Heh
>Well
>Cuteness like /that/ can't go unpunished
>You plant a kiss on her forehead, right under her horn
>The last thing you see as the dream crumbles is her staring up you, biting her lip
>F-fuck, she's even better at that than her sister
>...
>Your eyes open, to see the ceiling of your cell

>>25507411
Bumps cannot express how much I want moar of this.

Page 10? Unacceptable.

>>25508327
Bump cannot express how much I want this Anon.

Ok expect some green in about 2 hours.
Today has been a pain in my ass.
Plus side i got Laid

>>25509433
Dubs confirm; 'grats EyeCancer.

Just a quick follow up

>As your internal monolouge ends
>You look up and see...
>The green minotaur is...
>Dancing?
>Yes...it's dancing...
>Wait it stopped...
>And now...
>OSHITZIGGERWTF!WHYDOESTHATEXIST?!WTFISGOINGON?!WHYISTHISHAPPEINGTOME?!WHATDIDIDOTODESERVERTHIS?!DEARCELESTIAWHY?!WTFBBQ!
>The green minotuar is charging toward you!
>um...Brain now is a good time to, you know, do your job!
>Brain:Ummmmmmmm...NOPE!
>Well then...
>As the green minotuar runs you are standing still in shock your body like stone.
>The minotuar keep running and Barrels into Rarity!
>???:"ow the edge"
>What?
>You look at the green minotuar and realize something...
>It has no fur!
>And it has no horns!
>???:"lol u wot m8?"
>W..what?
>R:"[High-Pitched Horse Screaming Noises]
>Oh Sweet Celestia, Rarity has a Booboo!
>Trotting over to look at it you see the booboo on her elbow!
>Oh no!
>That mean green not-minotuar just hurt Rarity!
>???:"pls leev. im tryn 2 fap"
>You look at the booboo then pull out the book as a reference
>Reading through you decide to just put a band-aid on it.

>>25509487
Thanks

>>25509500
>What is THAT noise?
>You look up and see
>THE MANTICORE IS CHARGING AT EVERYONE
>OHSHITZIGGER!
>You get in front of Rarity in a defensive position
>Manticores give the WORST booboos!
>They even eat other things!
>That means they are monsters!
>You look at the charging manticore and...
>Your veiw is obscured by a large wall of flame!
>The heat of the fire burns your eyes!
>You look at the source and see...
>The mean green not-minotaur is spewing flames!
>He is probablt being burnt.
>Thats what he gets for giving Rarity a booboo!
"Girls get behind me!"
>The other elements get behind you and you erect a sheild around everyone
"Ok girls we just need...to...what is that smell?"
>It smells terrible!
>Combine this smell with the smell from earlier and you could burn the fur off a parasprite!
AJ:"umm Twailaght...Tha flames have stopped...ya can lower ya shield now."
FS:"oh my...um twilight please lower the shield...I mean..if you want too...that is..."
>Lowering your shield only makes the smell stronger!
>Fluttershy flies over to the injured minotaur and begins to speak comforting words
>NM:"lol get rekt scrub"
>You turn your attention back to the not-minotaur
>You look over at the green not-minotaur and see...
>IT KILLED THE MANTICORE!
>THE MANTICORE WAS IN THE FIRE!
>OH GOD YOU ARE FREAKING OUT
>OK JUST DEEP BREATHS!
>Calming down you stare at the not-Minotaur
"Girls form a moon shape around the green monster!"
>Doing as you say you charge up your horn in an attempt to stun the Not-Minotaur

>>25509516
>It did nothing!
>This must be one tough monster!
>Its looking at you and Rarity!
>Umm Brain?
>Brain: Uh yeah its me I'm here.
>What do I do!
>Brain:Well um whats going on? I've been gone for a little while.
>We are in the Everfree and there is a big green monster
>Brain:...
>Brain?
>Brain: um... hang on... Oh use the Elements of Harmony on it!
>...
>That might just be enough to stop the green monster before it eats everyone!
"Girls! Get in a circle we need to use the elements on it!"
>RD:"Way ahead of ya!"
>AJ:"Alright! That ther critter gonna eat all us li'l ponies!"
>R:"That BEAST is uncouth! It tried to kill me!"
>PP:"WEEEEEEEE"
>FS:"[Crying horse noises] M...maybe we should talk to it...it /seems/ intelligent...I mean..if you want that is..."
"No time get ready!"
>Your eyes glow and you begin to levitate, the power of friendship and harmony A redditor's Asshole and Faggotry flow through you!
>The friendship beams collides with the beast!

>>25509705
>...
>ITS NOT GOING DOWN!
>OHSHITITSLOOKINGATMEHWATDOIDO?!
>Standing your ground if front of Rarity you see it put a small metal object in it's...pouch?
>No
>It's on the side so...
>A pocket?
>Well then...
>Umm brain?
>Brain: Yeah?
>It didn't work!
>Brain: Impossible! Nothing can beat the elements of harmony, unless they are immune to magic, which is highly unlikely.
>...
>repeat that last part...
>Brain: Unless they are immune to magic, which is highly unlikely...
>yeah..
>Brain:...
>Brain:....
>Brain: Ok so it's immune to magic just try blunt force!
>Thanks brain!
"Girls! Its immune to magic!
>RD:"What? No way!
>What do you do?

Alright Anons what does Twilight do?
Anon is immune to magic and doesn't speak their language.

>>25509827
Also, you guys get to decide the name for the warden and what they look like.

Cookies 'n Cream is Anon's guard

you can each also create a character for the prison.

>>25509954
Put Uncle Incognito in the prison.

>>25509979
This

>>25509827
What does Twilight do? Combat snuggles.
>>25509954
Warden Iron Belt. He doesn't like letting people know his middle name is Chastity

>>25509979
>>25509990
Ok then umm... what will uncle incognito be?

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>>25510089
Topkek
Im gonna do this

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2MB, 300x200px

>>25510155
>Tfw you're the Anon who got Anon to do the dance of his people, Both Cadence and Rarara perspective and now this.
Feels good man.

>>25510209
the prison comes later. we need a trial and a fight between the elements and anon. We also need him to get zapped by a spell that will allow him to communicate with the horses. that or he learns the language over time. What do you guys think?

>>25509827
Overreact of course!

>>25510238
Let's see...
He should pet his defense attorney.
Have an alltongues spell fuck up on him so all he can say is insulting curses(During the trial after petting his attorney).
The spell gets fixed later, but it's too late.
The fight with the elements is just them trying to snuggle him down, but when some horns get pokey or wings make him sneeze, he sends the ponies flying.
Angel, being the dick he is, ends up kicking Anon in the head, sending him face first into the dirt.
This leaves him dizzy and incapacitated enough for Applehorse to tie him up.

>>25510301
i kinda had this idea already. The angel thing is funny but lets put angel in prison for biting the mailmare. This event will transpire in the prison because anon took the last pudding cup.

>>25510301
Also I'm gonna give anon a black rock that can play any music that he thinks of

>>25510090
>Ok then umm... what will uncle incognito be?
Make him a pony with black mane and green fur. His cutie mark is a question mark

>>25509827
>Umm
>Oh
"Girls! Snuggle it! If it can't move then it won't be able to breath fire!"
>AJ:"twilot are you sure? Combat snuggles 'r dangerous!"
"I'm sure!"
>FS:"Twilight I don't think it will work. The monster is so big and scary!"
"We have to try!

>Be Anon
>You are surrounded by little horses that just tried to fry you with a rainbow
>And they are getting closer!
>You read online once that if horses are feel threatened then they will attack.
>The first one to reach you is the purple one
>It jumps in the air and tries to knock you over...
>You jump to the left avoiding the purple unicorn.
>That horn nearly impaled you!
>Damn son!
>You hear a sqealing behind you and turn to see the pink horse jump at you.
>No time to dodge
>Making a fist you punch that thing in the face!
>*ACHIEVMENT GET! TIME TO STRIKE!*
>Turning to your left you take a blue pegasus to the gut.
>OHSHITNIGGER its got you in a death grip!
>Lifting your knee you catch it in the gut
>The blue pegasus goes toward your face and you take a wing to the face.
>Oh god this tickles!
"achoooo!"
>...
>.....

>>25510471
>The little ponies are everywhere
>You didn't know your sneeze was THAT powerful
>Huh...
>Well then.
>Walking away from the scattered horses you begin down the path that the little horses came down.
>Maybe you will find a farm if you go far enough
>If there are horses then there is a farm.
>And if there is a farm then there are people.
>Walking down the path you come to an unusual sight a wall of gold and blue.
>Getting closer you see they are all horses.
>White and black horses at that
>And behind the thigh-high wall of Armored horses stand the horses that attacked you earlier along with a big white unicorn with a really long horn.
>Stopping about 15 yards from the wall of flesh and metal you watch the Big White unicorn unfurl its wings...
>Wings...
>It has a horn and wings...
>...
>....
>.....
>So its a unisus? Or is it a pegicorn?
>You are interupted by a loud neighing and see the wall of Horses lower spears at you
>OHSHITNIGGER
>Those spears aren't very big but they look like they could do some damage!
>Another loud noise jerks you from your internal monologue
>OHSHITNIGGER THEY ARE CHARGING
>What do you do?!

>>25510621
What does he do anons?
He has in his pockets:
1 8-ounce bottle of scotch with 6 ounces of scotch in it
1 Zippo lighter
1 Noticably used roll of toilet paper

>>25510641
http://pastebin.com/JRCArVig
Pastebin updated

>>25510641
TP them.

>>25510641
Douse the rest of the toilet paper in alcohol, and swallow it.

All of it.

>>25510641
Douse the toilet paper in scotch
apply lighter
hobo bomb.

>>25510641
Well, this is it. Wrap the tp around your eyes like a blindfold and take a big 'ol swig.

>>25510641
Spontaneously teleport into prison because if he doesn't get there soon, this story isn't going to be thread relevant enough.

lay down and cry

>>25510682
>>25510703
>>25510727
>>25510752
>>25510762
Ok then. light the tp, get arrested, fast trial then prison got it!

>>25510778
>fast trial then prison
dont make it to fast, im enjoying the story how it is

>>25510778
Don't forget that his lighter has to be taken away if it's seen being used by any guard ponies. After all, a box that makes fire like that is an incredibly dangerous thing.

>>25510802
yes it is!

>>25507411
I really like where this is going.

>>25510802
thats why he needs to stick it up his butt so it doesnt get seen

>>25510814
hm...NnnoooGet some doubles and i will do this

>>25510814
rollin>>25510826

There are so many other things to stick up one's butt first. TP, obviously, but then we've got scotch too, and of course various parts of ponies .

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>>25510841
damn

>>25510826
Anon does not stick it up his butt.

>>25510826
We must save that lighter!

>>25510850
fug

>>25510826
Up the butt!

>>25510826
One more try.

>>25510826
Check em!

>>25510826
Cmon

>>25510752

put this up your butt

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>>25510826

>>25510826
Trying again

>>25510826
rolling

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>>25510826
Check out these numbers

>>25510826
We shall keep that lighter!

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>>25510826
check'em

>>25510826
I'm just rolling for the hell of it.

>>25510826
These numbers

>>25510977
Alright then The lighter goes in the butt

>>25510977
FINALLY! SUCCESS!!!
Nice dubs, btw.

>>25510999
NICE TRIPS

>>25510621
>hmm..
>oh!
>You picture a small lightbulb over your head as you make a makshift molotov
>Pulling out your lighter you flick it open and and press down on the flint until you get a flame
>Lighting the toilet paper you prepare to throw the shitty fire-grenade
>Bringing your arm back as far as you can you throw the crappy firebomb
>It flies through the air and lands 25 feet in front of you.
>A bad throw
>A REALLY bad throw
>But it seems to have halted the advance of the armored horses for a little while.
>Looking at the horses you realize you need should probably hide the lighter
>Closing the lighter and stopping the flames you pull down your pants
>Shoving the lighter in your anus you pull up your pants
>As the flames die out you stare at the line of guards with their melting plastic spears
>Melting plastic...
>You wasted some good scotch on a silly firebomb!
>The burning rage of 1000 Autists flows through your veins!
>Screaming like Oliver Sykes you run at the little horses
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FINPg7-w6yg
"FUCK!"

>>25511078
>Barreling into the little horse you knock the first two away with a shoulder charge.
"FUCKING HORSES! MADE ME WASTE DAMN GOOD SCOTCH!"
>"Nyeeehehhe"
>A sudden impact on your knee makes you look down
>???
>!!!
>One of those fuckers just poked you!
>You kick him away
>Two more horses take his place
>You kick them away but it doesn't matter
>Every time you kick a horse two more take its place!
>You are being overwhelmed!
>Oh god they....
>They're...
>Hugging you?!
>What...
>The pressure around you lifts and you are restrained with rope.
>The white unisus approaches you and touches your head with her horn.
>And a multitude of information flows into your head
>As the horn is taken away from your head you hear what sounds like someone talking
>PC:"It should be able to talk now. Ask it something Twilight"
>TS:"umm are you sure?..."
>What?
>Are those horses talking?
>No they can't be
>Horses don't talk
>Do they?

>>25511216
alright see you guys tommorrow

>>25511750
g'night, and hope to see ya in the morning!

>>25511825
probably not. I will lurk for a while though

>>25507411
>You get up, checking your phone out of habit
>You realize you left it playing music all night during your dream adventures with Luna
>It's at about 40%
>Let's turn it off for now, conserve power
>After shutting it down and stashing it with your wallet and keys, you begin the morning trinity of activities
>Except no shave, because no razors in prison
>As you shower, you reflect
>You realize something
>You like Luna
>Last night was fun
>And it genuinely hurt you to see her so sad after the short battle against you
>You liked her sister too, though you'd interacted with her less
>Celestia was nice, and just as pretty as her sister
>And you vividly recall the look on her face when she invited you to stay at the castle
>Not even one day gone and a pair of ancient, quasi-immortal princesses with crazy powers wanted you
>Feels good man
>You finish up, grab one of the provided towels, and dry off, stepping into your room
>You realize something else
>Shouldn't you have a uniform or something?
>Everyone had one on back in the cafeteria
>You also don't have any proper clothes other than the ones you came in
>Right then, there's a knock at your door
>"Anon? Are you awake?"
>Brass?
"Hey Brass, don't come in just yet. Is there a uniform I can wear?"
>"Check your closet!"
>You check
>Yup
>Red prison uniform get
>After you get dressed, you head out into the hall
>Brass is there waiting
>"Good to see you found it. Ready for breakfast?"
"Heck yeah. Let's go."
>The pair of you head over the the cafeteria
>As you head in, you're met with a bunch of stares again
>You don't pay any heed this time
>You and Brass load up, grabbing a table towards the back
>You notice something
"Hey Brass, what do the uniform colors mean?"
>You can see a few different ones from here
>"Ah. Grey's low-level misdemeanors, orange is regular felons, and red is high-level felons. There's black too, but they eat their meals separately. Only the truly evil get black, Anon."
>Huh
>You're high-level then

>>25512281
wonder how long itll take him to get black

>>25512479
after lunch anon, no need to hurry

>>25511216
Plot Twist!

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>>25512281
Great. Love this story.

Bumperu

Page Seven?
UNACCEPTABLE!

What happened to the story about Arayne and the Anon who hugs a lot?

>>25515858
Thats by bluebird

>>25511216
>TS:"Hi um can you talk?"
>Ok so horses can talk
"Whorse"
>TS:"w..what?"
"Whorse"
>TS:"H..HEY!"
"Eat shit and die!"
>WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING!
>YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY ANY OF THAT
"Asses and Zigger's need to hang from trees!"
>The purple unicorn runs away and begins crying
>PC:"Creature! I will not have this language in my kingdom!"
"Go copulate with a changeling you whorse"
>WTF IS A CHANGELING
>AND WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP SAYING SHIT LIKE THAT!
>G1:"Your majesty! I propose we give the creature 4 spankings for foul language and assault!"
>PC:"No we will put it on trial!"
>G2:"Would you like me to fetch a carriage your majesty?"
>PC:"Yes please. Fetch a carriage immediately. Then escort the creature to the Ponyville courthouse."
>G1:"Yes your highness"
>You can feel the ropes on your hands and feet being untied
"Fuck you!"
>A slight nudging is felt on your left calf
>G2:"Please don't speak to the princess that way!"
>G3:"Put the quiet time necklace around him!"
>All the horses let out a collective gasp at this.
"Fuck off Filly-Fiddler"
>The guard looks at you and runs off crying
>Well then your screwed.
>what is the sentence for assault and 2 counts of harassment?
>Oh yeah its about 12 months minimum

>>25516106
Ok anon's.
How long will Anon be in prison for?
Any request will happen if you get doubles or better
Any request will happen if you got doubles or better earlier if you post with a screenshot reply.

>>25516217
Anon gets 4 hours in the quiet box before he gets three weeks in prison. It would have been 4. but he called worst pony a whorse, and she deserved it.

>>25516217
1 month, also dicks everywhere

2 weeks, and random filly cuddles

>>25516277
done

>>25512281
Nigga you better continue this soon

>>25516305
Summon him faggot!

>>25516106
>When you reach the town the first thing you notice is that there are a lot of horses
>They are running stalls, baking sweets, yelling, screaming, playing, and talking.
>Talking!
>PC:"We are here! Guard....What was your name again?"
>Ummm...
>G2"It's Bronze Javelin your majesty!" The guard replies puffing out his chest
>What a weird name, yet oddly fitting for a guard.
>PC"Take the creature inside and wait for Brief Case to arrive"
>Why are they waiting for a brief case?
>Oh wait...
>This is a court house...
>So that means you get a representative right?
>BJ:"Right away Princess! Please move creature! We are going inside so you can hear the charges against you."
"Fuck you!"
>Ok that time you MEANT to say that.
>You have watched enough cop shows to know that when you go in there you will be gang raped by at least 8 people, while the guards watch.
"Fuck you!"
>BJ:"there is no need to be this belligerent! If you accept responsibility for hat you have done the Judge may be lenient with your sentence!"
"I raped your mother today!"
>BJ:"-sniff- Why are you saying these mean things to me?"
>The guard begins to cry
>Aww shit! Its not your fault! That stupid white unisus did this to you!
>???:"Hey why are you crying?"
>BJ:"Thi...Thi...The...-sniff- creature...is so MEAN!"
>???"Well lets get inside the courthouse. There are emergency churros in there"
>BJ:"-sniff-o...okay..."
>???:You creature! Come with me! you need to apologize!"
"Fuck you!"

>>25516357
>???:"Do you know who I am?! I am The Judge!"
"I will snuggle your children!"
>TJ:"WHAT?!"
"I will pet you!"
>TJ"We need a unicorn!"
>A sound like coconuts being clapped together comes from your left
>TS:"You called for me?"
>TJ:"Twilight. We need you to teleport us all into the court room!"
>The purple unicorn from before closes her eyes and you are all enveloped in a purple teleports you all into the court room.
>The Judge walks up to the podium and addresses the horses around him.
>JD:"Alright this Court of Equestria is now in session! Creature, you stand accused of Assault and using Type-3 swear words! How do you plead?"
"I WILL SKULL-FUCK YOU! RIGHT IN THE EYE!"
>The collective Jury gasps at the language that spews from your mouth.
"YOU BETTER LUBE UP THAT TIGHT LITTLE EYEBALL! BECAUSE I WILL SKULLFUCK YOU!"
>Recovering from shock the judge reads the sentence
>TJ:"creature of unknown origin! We find you guilty of All said charges! you will be sentenced to 2 weeks in prison!"
>The judge slams his foam gavel on the podium
>NOOOOO
>wait...
>2 WEEKS?!
>Thats...
>Really not so bad...
>The sentence causes an uproar in the court
>P1:"That's too long!"
>P2:"No Pony has ever Survived that long"
>P3:"This is unjust!"
>P4:"We demand a retrial!"

>>25516518
I will be back later but I want you guys to decide what Uncle Incognito has on him. Our uncle is in the prison so what did he bring with him(3 things)? Anon has in his anus:
1 Zippo lighter

>>25516717
Horse dildo
Dragon Dildo
Dog Dildo

>>25516773
Get some doubles and I will do ONE of these

Alright, well shit, I was planning on posting yesterday but spent hours on end finishing my santee's cards and didn't. Still been a bit down lately, so I took a break when someone pointed that it was showin' a bit in my writing. I'll drop some pre-written green and go from there.

>>25498349
STORY RECAP:

>>You're in ponyland.
>>You're also in ponyland PRISON.
>>Because the ponies here have no idea what you are.
>>"Good morning! It's nice to meet you! My name is Aryanne, but you can call me anything you want! Whatever makes you most comfortable here during your visit!"
>"Nap time?... Pudding cups? What the hell kind of prison IS thi-"

>>It doesn't even look like a prison.

>>Guys are really out-numbered here.
>>You only count three.

>>There's so many mares that need cuddling here.
>>You don't think you're prepared enough mentally for sixty six ponies.
>>These ponies are absolutely going to be the death of you.


>>"We've got a tall new friendly creature!... He's... he's really handsome..."

>>You think you feel your heart stop.
>"HRK."
>>And you're healthy as shit.

>>This is obviously a REALLY long dream.

>>All the mares stop and make way for a stallion to walk up to you.
>>"You think you can just waltz in here and take the place for yourself?!"
>"Well, if you're getting all butthurt about it, then it sounds like I already did."

>>He sets his hoof in an arm wrestling stance, and you lazily walk over.
>>Then you yawn and slam his hoof with your eyes closed.

>>"I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU, PUNK!!"
>"NOW, this is personal."
>"RKO OUTTA NOWHERE!!"
>He cries and flees behind a slide.

>>"So then, who the heck is Celestia?"
>>You continue your slow movements and finally hug her.
>>"I'll be signing and sending an official document tomorrow stating that you'll be free to become a full-Equestrian citizen. For now, goodbye, Anon."

>>"M-my name's Sweetie Drops..."
>"Well Sweetie Drops, let's get you that bakery!"

>>25516817
No.

>>25516717
A fat blunt
deck of cards

>>25516773
>>25516817
and a dragon dildo

>>25516838
RECAP CONTINUED:

>>Immediately you notice Aryanne lying on her bed... sobbing?
>>"O-oh, I'm not sad. I was just yawning; that's why my eyes are all watery."

>>Still focusing on getting meat, you forget to flip your sarcastic switch off for Sweetie Drops.
>"Lettuce killed my family."
>"It's, uh, poisonous for my species."
>>At the very end of the room is that stallion you fucked up, holding hoof-fulls of lettuce.
>>Of course, you're still a bit gentle with your amazing move, despite this guy trying to assassinate you.

>>About another fifteen minutes of questions later, and now you were off towards the 'Arts and Crafts' room with everyone else.
>>"Wow, what a great name! I've never heard a name like THAT before! My name's Surprise! Welcome to my art-create-paint-thing class! I know you'll just love-love LOVE it!"
>>"WE'RE DRAWING CATS EVERYPONY! HERE'S SOME REFERENCES!"
>>A bunch of cats come crawling out of her hair and onto the table.

>>You see that stallion nigger again.
>>He's got Aryanne hostage.
>>He's got safety scissors by her neck.
>>Seizing the opportunity, you grab a cat from behind you and hurl it full force at the guy.
>>You're dropkicking this fucker now.

>>That orange stallion was finally shipped god-knows-where, for threatening you and the warden herself.

>"You alright, Ary? He didn't hurt you or anything, did he?"
>>"I was just coming by to...um..."
>>"To, uh... ask about... dinner..."
>"...Well sure. No arguments here."

>>You walk inside and see a simple lettuce-less salad and a bottle of wine.
>>Then you realize that she's not wearing her uniform.

>"...Uh, we got any glasses?"
>>"We gotta go get some glasses."

>>You look up from the floor and just see that you're face to face with a closet labeled "supplies".
>"There's wine glasses in here?"

>"Why do you need the door open?"
>>"It's faulty. It won't open from the inside."

>>It suddenly clicks shut.
>"...Well. I should've seen THIS coming..."

>>25516717
A pack of about 300 rubber bands, for self defense against tiny vicious cuddle horses.
A dog whistle with devastating effect on pone, last resort item.

>>25516922
DONE

>>25516974
CONTINUED RECAP CONTINUED:

>...
>"I think there's some lanterns in here. We just have to find them."
>>He continues walking, then trips seconds later.
>>"Wait, where'd the lighter go?"
>>It quickly catches fire.

>>"Oh man, it's fucked! We're fucked!"
>>"Ary, if we don't make it out of here alive... I don't even know! What do people usually say in these kinds of situations?!"
>>...What if this is the last time you'll see Anon?

>>"It's... it's not a dream..."

>>You lean forwards and pull him into a kiss.

>"I'll... I'll be alright as long as I'm with you, Anon..."

>...
>>You turn to the wall beside the door.
>>You can see a small light from the other side peeking through, and you frantically tear it apart.
>>And of course, it only seems big enough for Aryanne.
>>Her rump gets stuck.

>>It's not a dream.
>>You're gonna die here.
>"My only regret... is never being able to play Fallout 4..."

>>Your eyes snap open to Nurse Redheart kissing the shit out of you.
>>"He's alive!"

>>Once you close your eyes, it's when you finally notice how tiring nearly dying actually is.
>>"I... I love you, Anon..."

>>"-Princess Celestia, though? Why would she come here again?"
>>"I have brought you your pardon. You're free now, Anon."

>>"I-I don't want you to go, Anon..."
>"Why don't I become a guard here or something?"

>>"-Most of the things you need to know in becoming a citizen is stuff taught REALLY early."
>>Your thoughts come back to the Princess a little ways from you, and you hit the brakes.
>"Can I become an Equestrian citizen?"

>>You pick up the "uniform" and realize how goddamned small it is.

>>...Was that a German accent?

>>"Warden, Princess Twilight is here."
>>"Ah! Well, Anonymous, care to answer a few questions of mine?"

>"That's Earth for ya- or rather, humans. We all wanna be the best, even if it means lives spent in the process."
>>She looks ready to cry.
>>"Can... can we move to a happy moment in your planet's history?"

>>25517161
why dont you just

post your pastebin

>>25517191
Because tl;dr is a thing but reading it on the thread as its being written is nice.

>>25516922
Check 'em. You gotta do it, EyeCancer.

>>25516974
Good to see you back!

>>25517191
Well personally, whenever I'm new to a thread and shit, I usually don't read the pastebin if it's a long-ass story. Figured people would just want a quick brush-up, instead of reading the story and seeing like, twice as much of it being posted afterwards.

>>25517289
Never left, only lurked lots.

>>25517289
I am doing it. I'm writing right now. I'm gonna prewrite it so then I wont have to be so slow with the updates

>>25517327
Sweet

>>25517313
>>25517327
>>25517370
I'm just gonna take a moment to appreciate how three writefriends are all online at the same time.
Thank you, you guys are awesome!

>>25517398
Y-you too...

>>25517370
yeah just give me about an hour
>>25517398
No problem. I like writing for you lurkfigs I am Watching you Fap

>>25517161
>Twilight nods.
"Well, I'd say going to the moon was pretty awesome."
>"...Why would being banished be 'awesome'?"
"Banished? What 'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
>"Don't you need magic to go to the moon?"
"Nope!"
>She starts quickly jotting things down.
"We built rockets and sent ourselves right up there!"
>"...Rock-ets? What are those? What were they made of?"
"Rockets are these huge fuel-filled things that launched us into space. As for what they're made of... I have no idea. Though if you guys had WiFi, I could just ask Google."
>"WiFi? Google?"
>You smile.
"Cell phones are a beautiful thing, Twilight."
>"Cell phone?... Is that any different than a telephone?"
"Well, yeah! In just a few years, we managed to go from these fat, bricky personal phone things to lightweight, and very easily broken, touchscreen phones."
>"Touchscreen?"
"Yes ma'am. Instead of clacking around on keys, you tap on a single flat screen that- well hell, I could just SHOW you."
>You pull your phone out of your back pocket, then remember that it's just an expensive, dead brick at this point.
>Could've avoided a storage room fire had you just charged it.
"Well shit... I COULD'VE showed you..."
>She and Aryanne just stare at it.
>"What's wrong with it?"
"Battery's dead, it needs to charge."
>"Battery? What's that?"
"...You have telephones here, but you don't have batteries?"
>"Almost everything is powered by magic..."
>Damn, imagine how useful THAT would be back home?
"Batteries are these little container things that hold electricity in them."
>"Electricity?"
"Yep."
>She puts a hoof to her muzzle and stares at the phone in your hand.
>Before you can ask what she's doing, her horn lights up and a purple glow envelops your phone.
>It turns on.
"-Wow, holy shit-niggers! Thanks, Twilight!"
>You set it on the bed and watch them both examining it.
>[studious horse noises]
>You smile and relax a bit while they're occupied.

>>25517518
>"...Is that your mother, Anonymous?"
>"Aww, that's so cuuute, Anon!"
>You pause for a moment and see them looking at your phone's lock screen.
>It was a picture of that one time you went to that 'Cat Fair' with your mom last year.
>You quickly swipe the phone away, noticing a small warmth from your cheeks.
>You look at the picture.
>In it, you're both wearing hats with a drawn cat face on them, complete with a stitched on tail-and-ear combo.
>Mom's holding Skittles, her calico-colored cat in one arm, and giving a thumbs up with the other.
>She's also wearing her favorite stitched kitten sweater- the one with those three playing around in a basket.
>She has the biggest grin on her face.
>You...
>Not so much.
>But in the end, you suppose it was worth it to make her happy.
>You smile and softly laugh at your own expression.
>While your eyes focus on your mom, something slowly dawns on you.
>Your smile fades.
>You will probably never see her again.
>Twilight notices your look.
>"What's wrong, Anon?"
>You feel a small pressure in your chest.
>The only reason your mom was so quick to keeping you at her house was because she wanted to see you more often.
>And now, she'd probably never see you again.
>And the last thing you said to her was, 'see you later'.
>You turn to Twilight and fake a smile.
"-Ah, it's nothing. I'm alright! I'm just, uh, a bit tired, is all"
>You place the phone on the bed and silently reminisce for a moment.
>You lay back and stare at the ceiling.
>Aryanne moves up and rests her head on your chest.
>You relax a bit and hold Aryanne close to you.
>Then you jump a bit when Twilight rests on you.

>>25517593
>"O-oh, s-should I not do that? I read in a book that leaning on your friends is good for bonding..."
"No, you're alright. Just, wasn't expecting it, is all."
>She nods, then slowly resumes her position on your left.
>...Cuddling with a princess and a warden.
>Doesn't get any better than this...
>You can almost immediately feel all this tension just melting away from you.
>You wrap your arms around and pet them.
>They're so soft.
>Once you notice them both furiously blushing, you pick your phone back up and unlock it.
>You hold it far enough for them both to see, but they still have a hard time with it, so they lay their heads on your shoulders and watch.
>You thought Twilight was going to spear your ass with her horn for a second.
>It's a good thing it's dull.
"So, anyways... THIS is a touchscreen phone. See, you swipe around and tap on it, and it registers all your movements."
>You look down and see them both just mesmerized by it, following your fingers with their eyes.
>You softly smile, then unknowingly tap on your photo library.
>Your smile fades a bit, and you feel Aryanne slowly rubbing your chest with a hoof.
>You turn your focus back to your phone and look at the first picture.
>Twilight looks up at you.
>"Are those your friends, Anonymous?"
>You nod and stare at the picture.
>It was from a month ago, when you and your high-school buddies drunkenly went paintballing without armor.
>That shit was really painful.
>Someone even got hit in the face.
>You swipe left and see a video you don't recognize.
>You press play and see a paintball gun being held FPS style in the dark.
'"Jesus, you motherfuckers are gonna GET IT!"'
>-Whelp, that's definitely you.
>...A real drunk you.
'"Fuuuck, I can't see shiiit-"'
>"SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!-"
'"OH COCK-NIGGERS- GAH! MY FUCKING FACE! YOU GOT ME IN THE FUCKING FACE, YOU ETHIOPIAN SHIT-WHORE!!"'
>Over your yelling, you can hear a laugh.
>...Oh.
>YOU got hit in the face.

>>25517759
keep going you make me laugh

Dropping green in 5 minutes

>>25516518
>You are the only purple unicorn in the court room so you must be Twilight
>You look on as the creature is escorted away
>It spews profanity as it gets led away.
>C:"FUCK YOU, YOU WHORSE-FUCKING ZIGGER!
>How rude!
>PC:"Twilight may I talk to you?"
>Oh no the princess wants to talk to you!
>Maybe she is mad because you Tried to use Combat Snuggles on that Creature!
>Maybe she is mad because your hair is 1 centimeter too short!
"Yes Princess?"
>PC:"Have you ever seen a creature like this one before?"
"N..no"

>>25517966
>Be Uncle Incognito
>You are in Pony Prison
>The reason you are here is unknown to you
>You walked through a statue while drunk and ended up in horse land
>The first thing you vaguely remember is being zapped by a big blue horse with wings and a horn
>Then you remember the horse talking
>Then you remember pulling out a dragon dildo and waving it in front of the horse
>And then you tried to shove the dildo into its anus.
>Long story short you are in prison In a black suit for attempted assault
>They let you keep the dildo though, so that's a plus!

>>25517759
>"What was that, Anon? Why are you also inside this cell phone?"
>Twilight stares at the screen.
"That was just a video, Twilight."
>"Video? Like the internet ones?"
"Uh, I guess? I'm not sure how to explain it very well, to be honest."
>Your mind sparks an idea, and you turn to the actual camera.
>You use the front-facing-camera and hit the record button.
>Twilight and Aryanne just stare at themselves in the phone.
>"...What are you doing? Is that my reflection?"
>You smile and stop recording.
>You switch back to the library and play the new video.
>You look at them as they both watch.
>'"...What are you doing? Is that my reflection?"
>Twilight gasps.
>"H-how did you do that?! Why am I in there now?!"
"Woah, woah, calm down, Twilight, you're not actually IN the phone."
>"B-but how, w-what-"
>Aryanne's just staring with a really confused look.
"The best way I could put this is... let's say that the phone is able to take lots of pictures within a short time. A video is just a slideshow of the pictures, with voices and stuff in them."
>...Wow, you fucking suck at explaining things.
>Twilight's expression is one similar to a retard having calculus explained to him.
>Lot's of confusion and frustration.
>"I-I don't- can't..."
>You laugh.
"Don't hurt yourself thinking about it too much, Twilight."
>She angrily scrunches.
>You bring her closer to you and gently scratch her ears.
>She continues glaring for a bit, then slowly relaxes.
>Aryanne scoots closer.
>"H-hey, can you scratch my ears, too?"
>You respond by putting your phone down and doing the same.
>She sighs and smiles.
>"O-ooh, yesss..."
>Her leg kicks.
>You turn back to Twilight and see her tongue lolling out of her mouth.
>Jesus, there's no way having your ears scratched is THAT good.
>You see her wings slowly start to spread out.
>They're fucking huge, too.
>One smacks you in the face and gets into your mouth.
>You gag, then see Twilight's hind leg kick.
>Jesus, you're only scratching their ears.

>>25517978
>Be anon
>Be 5 minutes away from the outside of Pony jail
>You ended up with two weeks here for harassment and Assault
>You also have a lighter in your anus and its really uncomfortable to sit down
>Because of the lighter you are walking with 2 pony guards in front of you
>G1:"So what do you think they will do to him in there?"
>G2:"Probably horrible things!"
>G1:"I don't want to think about it!"
>G2:"Me too"
>Both the guards shudder and you do too
>If this prison is as bad as the ones back home then you know what you need to do.
>Avoid soap dropping in the showers, don't talk to anyone, don't just sit wherever
>All that stuff
>G2:"We are here!"
>you look up and see...
>Disneyland...
>It's Disneyland
>This is what they are so scared of?
>you can see a Roller Coaster!
>A fucking Roller Coaster!
"Ziggers fuck whorses!"
>???:"What a mouth on this one!"
>You look back to the entrance and see...
>A Minotuar...
>???:"Hello there Creature! You are now my Prisoner! My name is Iron Belt Welcome to Canterlot Penitentiary"
>The fuck...

>>25517999
nice trips they are checked. also i think i will wait before i post more
i wanna read your story!

>>25518020
Nah, go for it, mang. I take too long to write shit!

>>25518032
alright then
>>25518003
"Fuck!"
>IB:"What language! Please refrain from using it here!"
"Eat a Brick!"
>IB:"Stop it"
"FUCK YOU WHORSE!"
>IB:"Prisoner stop this! If you continue I WILL be forced to revoke desert privileges for a week!"
>The fuck...
"Go back to your labyrinth you filly-fiddler"
>IB:"Why....Are you so mean!"
>???:"Anon!"
>You look to you right and see a green horse with black hair walking toward you
>On its flank you see...
>A green question mark...
>???:"Anon...that IS you right?"
"Fuck you zigger!"
>???:"Wow is that anyway to greet your Uncle Incognito?"
>Uncle Incognito
"Fuck you"
>UI:"Hmmm..."
>The green horse claiming to be your uncle walks up to you and kicks to in the thigh.
>UI:"hmm...Hey Iron Chastity Belt? I think his Alltounges spell is broken"
>Who the fuck is Iron Chastity Belt?
>IB:"D..Don't call me by my full name!"
>UI:"Yeah yeah! Whatever. Get a unicorn to fix his spell!
>THE WARDENS FULL NAME IS IRON CHASTITY BELT?!
"Hahahahaha"
>UI:"I know her name gets me every time!"
>sharing a laugh with your uncle you wait for someone to show up.

>>25498349
>>25498467
I've been saving them since the start. Unless there are a couple half-threads that got killed early that I missed, this is #26.

>>25518136
Yeah i thought the same so lets say its #26
#27 is next

File: AI.jpg (87KB, 1680x1050px) Image search: [Google]

87KB, 1680x1050px

>>25518073
Pastebin Updated
http://pastebin.com/JRCArVig

>>25518073
Alright Anons
What do Anon and his uncle do after they fix anon's Alltounges spell?
Doubles decide
Better than doubles get a special surprise.
Anon has in his Anus:
1 Zippo Lighter
Uncle Incognito has in his pockets:
1 extra large dragon dildo
1 Extremely fat Blunt
1 deck of cards

>Anon and his uncle smoke a blunt
anon and his uncle WILL light that fat Doobie and smoke it in their room. Afterwards they will both use the dragon dildo on a random character. All this will happen AFTER the tour and after anon gets his job, and personal guard.

>>25518246
Anon and his uncle enter the peison. Then they go on tour. His uncle proceeds to show anon the blunt. Anon says he has a lighter and they both decide to smoke it later in the week

>>25518297
This, but before the tour they get anon his prison uniform.

>>25518246
Have anon write a letter of apology explaining he didn't mean most of what he said

Uncle Incognito writes his own letter of "apology" asking Luna if she'd like to have dinner with him sometime.

>>25518246
Uncle Incognito introduces Anon to his species-diverse poker club.

I don't like going out of lurk mode this much, but it's too quiet here. Is it good that I'm at least suggesting different things instead of samefagging the same stuff until I get dubs?

So if no one gets dubs in a timely manner, will you just go with whatever you like the most?

>>25497848
From the thumbnail it looks like he's holding a tampon

>>25518136
I'm okay with that
Thanks for counting the threads, Anon

>>25512281
>You continue eating and scanning the cafeteria
>The resemblance to a middle school isn't just in your head, it seems
>There's a lit of cliquish behavior at tables
>And you already know most of these horses have the pain tolerance & emotional maturity of middle schoolers anyway, so...
>Nah
>Actually
>That's kind of an insult to human middle schoolers
>Regardless, you aren't particularly worried about what they'll do
>You're a red-suit, plus you tower over them
>You doubt they'll even try anything with you, though there'll probably be a few guys with something to prove
>How will you handle that?
>Maybe Brass will take care of it? He's your chaperone, right?
>Yeah
>That makes sense
>You can't deal with it yourself
>You'd hurt them
>Whether physically or emotionally
>But maybe that'd be okay?
>Self-defense and all that?
>Let's ask
"Brass."
>"Yeah?"
"If someone tries to start something with me, can I defend myself?"
>He thinks for a moment
>"Well, I'll be with you most of the day since I'm your chaperone, but I will eventually have to go tend to paperwork... I'd say yeah. Just, you know, be careful. The difference in strength between you and average ponies is no joke. I can appreciate that you're a powerful being who shouldn't have to put up with nonsense like that, but it's just how bad ponies are. If someone bugs you while I'm not around, you can just get me their name and I'll deal with 'em later."
"Cool. I'll control myself."
>He chuckles
>"I sure hope so. Some of those guards you hurt are still in the infirmary."
>Oh come on!
>The worst they had were bruises!
>Little bitches
>You just laugh right back
"You ponies aren't too durable, huh?"
>That gets his attention
>"Boo-boos are serious business, Anon. Don't they hurt for you too?"
"Well, sure, but those guys from yesterday just got thrashed a little. It's not like I broke the skin, right?"
>"But bruises hurt! Ponies can't do their jobs when they're in pain!"
>Wow
>You're not sure how to respond to that

>>25519090
lmao
china doll ponies

>>25518809
NO. if no one gets dubs or better then i just go with the choice with the most replies

>>25518246
Anon Flushes the blunt down the toilet because drugs are stupid.

>>25519430
hmmm NOPE!

>>25519090
>The rugby enthusiast in you wants to make fun
>But you have an even better idea
"What's the worst you've ever been hurt?"
>Brass smirks, thinking he's going to get to show off how big of a boss he is
>"Took some changeling spit to the face on a raid. Itched. For. Days."
>That would be kind of badass
>If it did more than itch
>Now, initiate phase two
"You wanna know what one of the worst I've had is?"
>You have a grin on your face comparable to the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland
>Brass is conflicted
>He wants to know
>But at the same time he doesn't want to know what a "god" who can effortlessly beat up grown ponies would consider an injury
>"...sure...?"
>bueno.jpg
>You lean in conspiratorially
"Partially dislocated jaw."
>Brass blanches
"You wanna know why only partially?"
>He clearly doesn't
>You tell him anyway because you're a massive dick about stuff like this
"It didn't come all the way out. Only one side was dislocated."
>Brass bolts, a hoof over his mouth
>...
>Seriously?
>That wasn't even gory
>Aw well
>You could save your other rugby stories for later
>Or for the princesses
>Get rehab cuddles for your /terrible/ injuries
>Fuck yeah, that's an awesome plan
>You know what you're showing Luna tonight
>Rugby marathon
>Your scheming is interrupted by a voice
>"Hello Anon!"
>Oh!
>It's Warden!
"Hey, Warden! What's up?"
>She beams back
>"Just checking on our newest inmate! I hope you were comfortable during your first night in!"
"Definitely. What's the bed made out of, by the way? It's really nice!"
>She looks at you, slightly confused
>"Why, clouds Anon! What else?"
>Holy shit
>Is this nigga for real?
"How do you even make something like that?"
>"Pegasi, silly! They have the ability to touch and control clouds!"
>You'd have to meet one of these pegasi
>That sounds like it'd be cool to watch
"Neat! So, what's the plan for today?"
>"Brass Badge will show you the various clubs around the prison, and you'll pick one! Or more than one! Your choice!"

>>25519877
>She looks around
>"Where is Brass, anyway? He should be with you."
"He had to use the restroom."
>It wasn't a lie
>"Oh! Well, I'll wait with you then. Are you two getting along?"
"You bet. Brass is really cool, thanks for having him look out for me."
>You know that's not the only reason Brass is watching over you, but Warden was still a part of it
>She smiles
>"No trouble at all, Anon! I'm glad you two get along. Now, which club do you think you'll join? If you have any hobbies, then I'm sure there's a club for it!"
>She says that, but you doubt there's a club for vidya
>Probably isn't one for rugby either, the way these ponies are shaping up
>Maybe weights?
"Do you have a weightlifting club?"
>"I believe so, yes! A lot of inmates like to work out!"
>Oh ho
>Sweet
>College had royally fucked with your exercise routine, so this would be a nice chance to get some work in
"I'll check that one out, then."
>"Be sure to look at all the rest, too! Don't limit yourself!"
>She reminds you of your mom
"I got it, I got it. I'll give them all a look."
>"Great!"
>Brass comes back right then
>"Urgh... Good morning, Miss Sharp."
>"Good morning, Brass! Well, I'll let you two get to it!"
>Warden skips off
>You shoot a semi-apologetic smile at Brass
"Sorry about that pal. I thought you could handle it!"
>He gives you a look
>"Yeah, well, from now on, no more horror stories. I don't have any breakfast left in my gut to run on now, and my appetite's totally gone."
>You feel the tiniest sliver of remorse
>Just a little one
"Alright, so Warden tells me there's an exercise club. I was thinking I'd join that."
>"Sounds good. They hang out, naturally enough, in the weight room. I'll take you there."
>You both leave the cafeteria and head on your way
>A few winding turns through the prison, and you reach your destination
>A metal door, leading into a room that smells of chalk and iron
>There's a bunch of ponies in here, a couple minotaurs, and and some griffons

>>25520345
Please sir can I have some
MOAR?!

>>25519430
Uncle incognito stuffs the deck of cards in anon's mouth and fishes the blunt out of the septic system with the dragon dildo grumbling about narcs and pony doodies

>>25520345
dammit man write faster. i need to sleep tonight and still need more of this.

Fixing some dinner, dudes. I'll be back with moar shortly

>>25520627
Thank you Based PhysicsAnon!

>>25520627
soon

>>25520345
>>There's a bunch of ponies in here, a couple minotaurs, and and some griffons
>a couple minotaurs, and and some griffons
IT BEGINS.

>>25520345
>All activity ceases as you and Brass enter
>One of the minotaurs calls out
>"Guard Captain. Who's the red?"
>Brass nods in his direction
>"Steel Eye. This is Anonymous. He wants to join."
>Wait
>Brass is the captain of the guards?
>He keeps talking
>"I've been assigned as his chaperone, so I'll be here observing while you guys get him squared away. No funny business."
>The minotaur nods, but someone else speaks
>"Hold up, copper!"
>It's a female pony
>A normal one, no wings or horns
>...she's pretty big
>Smaller than Luna, but bigger than Brass
>"Why do we gotta let a weirdo like him in? I bet he's weak anyway!"
>Oh
>/Do/ you now?
>Before you can express your snark, Brass replies
>"Sand Stone. I can personally guarantee you that Anon leaves nothing to be desired in strength. Now you let him in. Or no pudding."
>...
>Was that a threat, or...?
>Sand Stone backs down a bit
>"H-hold on! I'm just saying we should test him first. We're the strongest ones in the prison, we don't wanna have to spend time with a weakling!"
>There's a general murmur of assent
>Even from the minotaur from earlier
>Brass is getting frustrated
>"Now you listen here-!"
"Brass."
>He looks up at you
>"What?"
"I got this."
>He just looks you for a moment, then steps aside
>You step forward
>They all eye you up and down
>Sand Stone especially
"Look. You and I know talk is cheap. So just let me do a lift at my personal best weight, and then you can judge. Fair?"
>Sand Stone, after a moment more of staring at you, nods
>"Fair!"
>You walk further into the room, examining the equipment
>Most of it's for quadrupeds
>You wouldn't fit
>There's a bench rack that the minotaurs were using
>Alright, let's do that
"I'll do bench."
>Steel Eye nods approvingly
>"We'll get it wiped down for you. How much weight?"
>You think for a moment
>It's actually been a while since you tested your max on bench...
>Last you recall, you could just barely swing two plate for one
>Two plate is 225 lbs., so...

>>25521164
Inb4 they don't have enough weight, and he sticks ponies on each end.

>>25521314
>not benching two qt minotaur girls

>>25521348
They're too busy making his after workout shake though.

>>25521491
thats kinda hot

>>25521521
Well, they do have to shake those milk makers a lot to make a proper milkshake.

>>25521164
"Load 210 pounds."
>Better safe than sorry
>There's a moment of silence
>They explode into laughter
>Fuck!
>Are they really that strong?!
>You thought you had super strength by pony standards!
>What gives?!
>Sand Stone gets a hold of herself just long enough to speak
>"T-two hundred and ten?! Get this hot head outta here!"
>A griffon chimes in
>"You seriously think you can do that?! Look, kid, I get you want to impress us but that's just stupid!"
>Steel Eye rounds it all out
>"T-truly, youngun', you should consider your safety more. No mortal can bench 210."
>...
>...
>...
>Is this real life?
>2-fucking-10 is considered impossible weight here?
>Oh lord
>They better not let you anywhere near the squat rack
>Or let you deadlift for that matter
"Load the weight. I'll /make/ you believe."
>The laughter dies
>They're staring now
>Steel Eye speaks
>"...you're serious?"
"You gonna load the weight or not? I'm gonna blow your tiny little minds into orbit, dude. You'll need Luna's help to find your brain when I'm done."
>"Look, young one, even if we /had/ that much weight-"
>THEY DON'T HAVE 210 LBS IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING GYM?!
>"-we could not in good conscience allow you to make such an attempt. Just try some machines and-"
>Oh
>Fucking
>No
>You did not just fucking get relegated to machines like some New Year's resolutioner
>Your temper's starting to flare
>Brass can see it
>He's making eye contact with you, shaking his head frantically
>You take some deep breaths
>...
>Okay
>If they won't let you prove your strength
>You'll just have to shatter their confidence in theirs
"Fine. /You/ do some bench. Whatever weight you want. In fact, anybody is welcome to challenge me at anything. I'll match it or leave."
>Wide eyes all around
>Sand Stone speaks up
>"C-c'mon, Steel! Show him how it's done!"
>The minotaur slowly nods, still staring at you
>"Y-yeah. Steel Trap, load up."
>He and the other minotaur start loading weight onto the bar

>>25521595
>Your temper's starting to flare
>Brass can see it
>He's making eye contact with you, shaking his head frantically
I love this little nigga.
He gonna be a bro, I can tell.

>>25521756
Absolutely. Bros give each other pre workout cuddles, right?

>>25521936
What? Of course not. Cuddles are for after workouts and after they take a shower to get the sweat off. Then they take a nap to relax after 10 long minutes of hard lifting.

>>25521936
Don't make it gay son.

>>25521348
qt lady minotuar inbound soon m9

>>25521595
>When they're done, Steel Eye climbs under
>Those plates look like toys, now that you look closely
>He unracks, and begins
>Steel Trap is spotting
>Are they brothers or what?
>Whatever
>First rep
>Second rep
>Third rep
>He's done
>Sweating like a mofo
>"There! 115, for 3!"
>The rest let out a cheer
>You, on the other hand, are really going to have fun destroying this dude's self esteem
>They wipe down the bench
>Steel Trap makes a mockingly polite gesture towards it
>"Alright, fresh face. Show us what you've got."
>You hear snickers
>That will soon be silenced
>You sit down on the bench and lay back
>Before Steel Trap's even in spotting position, you unrack
>Time to show them the power of the glorious human master race
>One rep
>Two rep
>Three rep
>Rack
>Didn't even slow down
>You sit up, not even sweating
>Jaws on the floor everywhere you look
>"Y-you...how...?"
>You snort
"Gains, that's how."
>You partially strip out of your uniform, showing off your upper body
>The ladies are impressed
>Sand Stone, the mouthy lady griffon from earlier, and a few other female ponies all have red on their faces
>The dudes aside from Steel Eye are fuming
>They know they're getting shown up
>Steel Eye's just got a thousand-yard stare going on
>One broken
>How many more?
"Who else?"
>"Me!"
>A male horse - stallion? yeah, that's the word - steps forth
>"I challenge you to leg press!"
>Little dude's digging his own grave
>You're hella strong with leg work
>And leg press is for bitches anyway
>Though since ponies can't really squat, you guess it's okay
>He loads weight onto the machine, then climbs in
>Interesting
>He's only using his back legs
>He disengages the safety catches, then starts
>One
>Two
>Three
>Four
>Five
>He's struggling
>A couple others step forth to spot
>He pulls out the sixth
>He gets out, obviously bushed
>"H-ha! Lemme see you match /that/!"
>Ask and you shall receive, little beta male
>You climb in the machine

>>25522097
>qt lady minotuar inbound soon m9
soooon

>>25522097
>he breaks the machine

Bumparoni

>>25522097
>It's a bit of an awkward fit
>You have to get out and adjust the machine
>There, slightly less awkward fit
>You disengage safeties and begin
>You drive out for the first rep...
>Only to slam the machine against itself
>Holy shit
>What is this, 150?
>Fucking pleb
>You'll break him, right here right now
>You go double or nothing
>12
>Cranking them out with no drop in speed
>You get out of the machine and shoot the little nignog your best intimidating stare
"Doubled."
>He can't even speak
>Steel Trap's recovered somewhat
>"Alright, enough! I challenge you to deadlifts! 185!"
>They start freaking out
>"Trap, no!"
>"Too high, bro!"
>"Just let him join!"
>Trap's too fired up to back down
>"NO! I'll avenge my brother's honor right now!"
>He grabs a mat out of a closet, throws it on the floor, and grabs a barbell
>The other griffon, a male, starts helping him slide weights onto it
>It's ready
>But you can see he's nervous
>He's either never attempted this or attempted it before and hurt himself
>Doesn't matter
>It'll just make it more traumatic when you crank that shit out for 10
>He chalks up his hands and takes up position
>Everyone else is tensed up
>He bends down and grabs the bar
>Here we go
>He begins the drive
>Nothing happens at first...
>But the bar leaves the ground
>He's got it up to his knees
>...Cows have knees, right?
>Unimportant
>He's still pulling, but it's slowed to a crawl
>It doesn't look like he'll be able to lock out
>He keeps straining
>But gives out after a few more seconds of effort
>"Aw!"
>"You nearly had it, Trap! Good try!"
>"No worries, Trap. We'll get him with something else!"
>Like hell you will
>You're going to drive a stake through the heart of this bullshit
>As Trap steps away from the bar, you step up to it on the other side
>Facing all of them
>"Wh-?"
>"Wait! What are you doing?!"
>"Is he...?"
>Yup
>You said you'd blow their minds
>Here it comes
>You seize the bar and get in your stance
>Deep inhale
>Explode upwards

>>25522521
Suddenly, Anon shits himself.

>>25522521
Anon, you fool! You're going too far! Your hubris will be the end of you!

>>25522521
and the weights go flying upwards and get stuck in the ceiling

>>25522521
its at this point i really wish i had that SIR comic

>>25522605
>the numbers on the plates were ounces, not pounds

>>25522730
lmao
perfect

Bumpasaurus-rekt

>>25522521
>You hit the apex and lock out
>First rep
>You stare them in the eye
>They're all dumbfounded
>You're not done
>You bring the bar back to ground
>2!
>3!
>4!
>5!
>6!
>7!
>8!
>9!
>10!!
>You set the bar down for the last time
>Two ponies have fainted
>Sand Stone can't bring herself to make eye contact with you
>The Steel brothers look like they're about to cry
>The griffons are just staring, beaks slightly open
>You can't help but grin
"Where's all that smack talk at /now/, huh?!"
>The door suddenly opens
>"Hey guys, sorry I'm late-"
>Somebody walks in
>You turn to see-
>...
>Oh
>So /that's/ what lady minotaurs look like
>Neat
>She's got really nice...
>Eyes
>Shit, she caught you staring
>You quickly sit and look down at the mat, "catching your breath"
>You're really just praying she doesn't realize you were sperging out over her
>"What's going on in here? What happened?!"
>She's caught sight of the passed out equines
>"Magnolia!"
>Trap and Eye fling themselves at her, cowering behind her
>It'd be funny if it wasn't so sad
>"This guy-! This guy just-!"
>"He just deadlifted 185! For /ten/!"
>She slowly turns to face you
>"...you can't be serious. For ten?"
>You're starting to come down from you mixed high of testosterone and indignation
>...and realizing that you just acted like the /exact/ kind of douchebag you fucking hate to see at the gym
>Fuck...
>Damage control time
>You make to get up, only to find Magnolia leaning down right in front of you
>Sweet Jesus
>"Did you really do it?"
"Y-yeah"
>Real smooth
>You weren't kidding about her eyes earlier
>Obviously she's got a fucking dynamite rack too
>Her shirt barely contains it
>But her eyes are a nice dark green
>You try to collect your spilt spaghetti
"They weren't gonna let me join unless I proved I was strong. And they didn't believe me when I told them how much I could lift, so I kinda got a little worked up. Sorry."
>"Sorry?! Don't be sorry! That's incredible! /I'm/ sorry about how they treated you!"

>>25523068
>>She's got really nice...
>>Eyes
Oh you

I'm fucking high, give me an idea for a one-shot .

>>25523277
Anon gets sent to a high security prison, gets put in the same cell as Chrysalis.

>>25523277
Prison-Anon explaining the concept of rape.
Ponies somehow think it's a good thing.
He goes along with it.

>>25523068
>She turns and glowers at what you're now presuming to be her siblings
>"What have I told you guys about hazing folks who want to join?"
>They shake their heads
>"It was Sand's idea!"
>Sand Stone waves her hooves wildly
>"Hey, don't throw me under the carriage! I was just saying what we were all thinking!"
>Magnolia stomps
>"Regardless of whose idea it was, it has to stop! It's why nobody else joins!"
>She turns back to you
>"Sorry again. I'm Steel Magnolia! What's your name?"
>She extends a hand
>You do the same
"I'm Anonymous."
>"It's nice to meet you Anonymous! And after a performance like /that/, you are most definitely welcome in the weights club!"
>Sweet
>The remaining hour in club time goes by quickly after that
>The other members apologize for what they said
>You apologize for being a massive faggot
>Balance is restored
>Everybody's pretty nice
>If more than a little in awe of you
>You repeated your set of 10 for Magnolia when she said she wanted to see it
>You have another fan now
>"Bye Anon! See you tomorrow!"
>She waves goodbye as she leaves with her brothers
>You and Brass leave shortly after
>You wonder why minotauresses look so... human
>Like, her face wasn't anywhere near as cowish as her siblings'
>Combine that with her huge tracts o' land, and it explains why she had such an effect on you
>"You did good back there."
>Brass interrupts your thoughts
>Probably for the best
"You think?"
>"Yeah. Admittedly, you went kind of crazy, but you handled it without violence and no feelings were hurt. I'm proud of you, Anon."
>You smile
"Thanks, Brass. Where to now?"
>"Well, we can keep checking out clubs if you feel like. They're scattered throughout the day so inmates can attend more than one if they so choose. Or, you can just relax in your cell. It's gonna be a while yet before lunch."
>Hm...
>You're hungry more than anything.
>You don't really feel like doing anything else either.
>I think I'll chill in my room. Can I get a book somewhere?"

>>25523277
Dubs confirm

>>25523293
Plz do this.

And on that note, g'night m80s. I'll return tomorrow.

all dis green

you da best physicsanon