Princess Applejack

>>25385359
1. https://archive.today/f0oQ3
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30. https://archive.today/0rb3f .5 version here https://archive.today/Y5NYc
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51.desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20740272/
52.desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20855918/
53.desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20948915/
54.desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21045744/
55.desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21159397/
56.desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21278151/
57.desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21405993/
58.desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21510114/

>>25385362
59. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21619890/
60. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21715642/
61. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21858107/
62. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21945390/
63. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22007346/
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103. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25046878/
104. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25132701/
105. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25222467/
106. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25301100

>>25385368
Here is full archive of ALL the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack


Curious what happened last time, or just wanna know what happens during an active thread?
Check out the previous thread here:https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25301100
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki


Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started?
Check out the character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650

We have begun working on a big project to fix up old stories and make this crazy world more coherent and accessible to new readers who don't like the thread format.
Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing
And finally, while most of the thread is very much clop free, we have a pastebin in case you're feeling a little more naughty with your writing, find it here. http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessAJAfterDark please upload any like it to a pastebin so they can be added out of thread.
And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!

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First for Applepie

>>25385392
Hoping to see some more of that this thread, the banjo fight was amazing.

OOCO
>AJ
"Celestia"
~~~

>Tia? Got a question.

"And I have a strong pimp-hoof, your move."

>...Did you just call me yer' prostitute?

"We pimps prefer the term, 'lady of the night'."

>Ain't that what Rarity calls her red dress line?

"...This raises uncomfortable questions."

>But about mah' question, where does the sewage from Cloudsdale go?

"...beg pardon."

>Cloudsdale, it ain't got a sewer system obviously, so Ah' assumed they just put them in clouds till they take 'em out. Who deals with that, and where does it go?

"..."

>...

"...o-oh sweet mother."

>What?

"I... I never asked."

>...

"..."

>...if it turns out they've been releasin' them in the rain-

"I'm so, so sorry."

>ew... ew.... EW EW EW EW IT"S ALL YER FAUUUUULLLTT!

"I'M SORRYYYYYY!"

>>25385468
Wait, I could have sworn there was a comic about this...

>>25385468
It becomes rainbow ice cream.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q

>>25385530
>Thumbnail

I think I got the whole story, and I want no more thank you.

>>25385487
I know the one you're talking about, but I can't find it.

It's the one with AJ wincing as she looks at the rain on her apples.

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>>25385487
Found it!

>>25385666
>Devil trips

Appropriate.

>>25385557
How much more do you really need to know?

>>25385392
Well, Spike's not in the picture at the moment, nows your chance Pinkie!

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Pinkie Preview Prophecies!

>Carrot Top has trouble with rabbits.
>Derpy can't tune a piano, but can tune a fish.
>Octavia uses her cello to get through Vinyl's rave.
>Lyra and Sweetie Drops show how good a friend they are to each other.
>Dr. Hooves fight off some robot trash cans.
>Gilda has a literal chip on her shoulder.
>The Crusaders help out a herd of Elks.
>non-consensual hugging fanservice!

>>25385963
I'm noticing a theme...

>>25385972
I'mm sure it's just a coincidence.

Surely.

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>>25385972
Okay, you caught me...I've been using the crusaders as way to throw in various hooved animals. Bisons, Caribous, and Elks.

>>25385963
Wow, between the Luna thing and these, PV is getting some spotlight.

>>25386065
I see what you did there...

>>25386138
To be fair, the Luname thing was all in 29'a head

>>25385468
>Tia with a pimp hand

...but who are her hoes?

>>25386383
I'm guessing autocorrect, but wow. That's a word, but not Luna.

Wow.

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"AJ"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and we take a break from our regular story to test out fighting possibilities in a safe place!

"Why am Ah at your dreamhouse?"

>Because we have writers who want to give you some action and I'm here to be your test dummy! We're going to see what you can do!

"...what?"

>...You've been getting fat, sitting. Fight me.

"What? No, Ah'm not."

>Prove it. Move your booty and show me you can move those legs. Don't worry, I'll hold back for you.

"...alright, if that's what ya want."
Shakes off her horseshoes which drop off with a heavy thunk.

>...weighted horseshoes?

"Eeeyup..."
Shakes her wings and more weights fall.
"Any rules?"

>Nope.

AJ cracks her neck.
"Good."
Digs into the floor and launches herself, delivering a devastating headbutt into Pinkie crashing her through the gingerbread wall and into the jello pool.
"How's that?"

>Yeah...that was a good hit...but how about this?
Pinkie rushes in and fires off rapid punches to AJ's face.
>ATATATATATA-
AJ throws her hooves up to block the unrelenting blows and the hits Pinkie with a high kick, following up with a drop kick. She spins, hitting Pinkie's side with her tail.
*CRACK*

"Are you all right, sugarcube?"

>Cracked a rib. No biggie...do you have something in your tail?

"Oh whoops."
Drops a weight from her tail.
"Sorry 'bout that."

>It's okay. We're showcasing you! Now Treekicker, think fast!
Throws a tree trunk.

"Gah!"
Instantly kicks it back to Pinkie's face.
"...Okay, this is too far."

>Trees...don't hit back...

"Yer covered in splinters. We're stopping."

>But the lasso demonstrations!

"Ah'm not going to demonstrate on you."

>Okay, then can you pick me up and take me to the bathhouse? I need some chocolate healing.

"But...you know what? Ah'm going to assume you know what you're doing."
Puts Pinkie on her back.

>...and that's how you get chicks to pick you up.
*winks*

>>25387177
>last line

Ohhhh mýyyy~

>>25387352
So much swagger chicks pick her up

>>25386721
Auto corrector screws with us sometimes

>>25385963
Well, I guess this was easier than having OmakrShiny sleep with all of the town...

Alright let's try and do that again

>>25388550
I feel like I missed something.

OKAY HERE WE GO AGAIN

>Zecora
"Applejack"
'Sunset Shimmer'
[Chitania]

>Well hello my dear Applejack, I did not know you would be back

"Hey howdy, Zecora! How y'all been doing recently- Oh, this here's mah student-in-sorts, Sunset Shimmer"

'Hello, I admit I haven't heard too much about you, only snippets from Twilight now and then, you do herbology and potions, right?'

>That is true, potions are my craft, and I am amazed that when told, you had not laughed

'Oh, no, It's a genuine science and everything, I'm sure of it, I'm sure ther'es some perfectly rational potion that can.... y'know, dezombiefy a pony or such, ahaha...hah..ha

>"..."

'I'll drop it'

"Ah' know, s'rough, but aaanyway Zecora, what're y'all doin'?"

>Perusing my usual stock and trade, the ghosts are quite a "drawn out" escapade

"Ah-ha, Ah' take it running around some spooky spectres gets a lil' tiring after a while '?"

'Wait, you said....Ghosts?'

[What]

>...Are we not going to talk about the elephant in the room? Or should I make myself scarce, I have to see a mare about a swimming costume-"

[What is this rhyming pony talking about ghosts?]

"Uhhhh, AQCUAINTANCES! Zecora, meet Chitania; changeling queen, Chitania, meet Zecora, local zebra"

[Zebra? Ehh, you don't look much different from the rest of 'em]

>That's racist

[Hey you stopped rhy-]

'Yeah, that's kinda racist'

"Different folks don't much like bein' called egregiously similar t' each other, ya' know"

[Whatever]

'Ugggh, I really-FINE, Zecora! That IS all this about ghosts and such?'

>It's rather bothersome to talk at lenght about, we've had far too much time to give an explanation much clout. Our little gang has been giving poor souls their rest, and 29 has been doing his very best

"Well, that sounds good for him, glad to hear he ain't screwin' around with the mares, where's he off to now anyway?"

[Some place far away from here I hope...]

1/2

>>25388745
>He's come back from special "tutoring", and is around, he may want to make a special appearance in the town.

"Huh, for a brief moment ah' was happy fer him, but now that old nigglin' pain in my left hoof is actin' up again, that can't be a good sign..."

'Okay we really need to change the subject, you got a looot of ingredients in those bags. I can actually prattle off a bunch of names of those real quick, those are Manihot esculenta, thats a jar of Hyssop Herb stems, and a bunch of Pogostemon cablin, whatcha making?'

>...You words do confuse me, but I must answer truly, this potion I make is awfully specific in outcomes and needs, and it cannot be completed with just a hoofull of seeds, in short, it's do with a Moose and a surgeon, all I need is just some hair from a virgin


"['...']"

'Wellll, I did ask'

"..This herbo-stuff really is specific, ain't it?

>I've been perusing the town If you haven't already guessed, I just need one "volunteer" and I'll easily handle the rest

'No dice here, sorry'

>Quick on denial, I certainly see, so how about you? Oh giant quee-

"I wouldn't-"

STOMP STOMP STOMP stomp stomp stomp stomp....

>...Ah

...

"...waaaait..."

"So y'all gon' gawk at me now huh?"

>Of course not, I'm sure I'll have better luck outside of town, so please Applejack, do not so grumpily frown.

"Yeahsmahshmhmgmblm..."

'...So you've-'

"What"

'Ok ok, i know it's private but I just never-'

"What, ya think ah' never found any use fer THESE before ah' got two wings an' a horn ticker-taped onto me?"

'No, no, it's just uhh...'

"What? Come on, spit it out"

'...I always thought country ponies were more ..."chaste"? Y'know?'


2/3

>>25388753
""Chaste""

'...Mmm'

"Ahehah... Puh-lease, Sunset, iffin ah'm feelin' dandy and he's a good lay and s'all safe and blah blah blah natter natter-"

'You don't have to remind me, I get it. just... chalk it down to not being in Equestria for Faust knows how long'

"Well, let's jess' say these things don't really matter none, huh? At least fer me it ain't"

'...You make it sound like I make a hubub about this often'

"....Alright ya got me"

'Right'

"Be thankful it weren't Granny who got inna all this, Sunbutt help us all"

'...Oh'

"Ah well, come on, we gotta calm down Chitty, alright?"

'Right behind you, right behind you....'

...

'I don't think I blushed once during that, wow. No circulation does have it's benefits I guess'

3/3
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

>Berry Punch
"Lyra"
'SD'
~~~~

>Is she gone?

"Of course she isn't gone, of course she's still there. OF COURSE."

'Just to double check, we are worried about the giant monster and not the princess, right?'

>At this point pretty much all of them are worrying me.

"Fair point."

>Why bring that thing down here anyway?

"Just to double check, is that the one that invaded canterlot?"

'...They both did that.'

"No no, I mean is that the big one."

>They're both really big.

"No! I mean is that the one who destroyed stuff!"

>...
'...'

"...Is she the one who banged the captain of the guard or not?"

>OHHHHH!

'Other one. Though I guess we could say she 'banged' him because apparently they fought-'

"NEVERMIND! Just needed to know who I should be afraid of."

'Awwww, you scared little Lyra?'

"Yes. Just... so obviously yes."

'Don't worry! Did you forget? I'm...'

"..."

>... A lesbian?

'What!? That's not what I was saying at all! I was just saying I'd look after my good friend here.'

"Right, because friends look out for each other."

'Closely.'

"Very closely."

'Because we're friends.'

>...So are you two-

"'WE DON'T KNOW!"'

LAST THREAD RECAP, LUNA'S A SEXY TEACHER EDITION!
>18 and SA's date isn't going wrong.
>PD is partying with Gwen and Idris.
>Vekir comes up to them, and mentions her current quest. Sensing an opportunity to get under Canterlot, PD offers to help Vekir get more signatures.
>Actarius still does not get 32's innuendo.
>Applebloom and Scootaloo are quickly captured in Spider web, the walls of the house explode in, other things happen, they end up on a roller coaster through tunnels of horrors, annnnd-
>It turns out it was all fake, just a haunted house that was supposed to be out of commission but they activated. Sweetie Belle has been hanging out with the guy in charge of it.
>Everyone laughs it off, and has a good time, content there were no ghosts.
>...at least until the house vanished when they left it, so it was totally ghosts. Or aliens, probably.
>Applejack thinks everythings going too well with the changelings, so of course something bad happens.
>Chitania shows up with 13 on her back, since the latter apparently wants to visit the others.
>Ponyville reacts by running for their lives, of course.
>This is the grave she chose.
>Chitania, of course, will not leave.
>7 reveals to Buttercup he has a plan in case Fluttershy makes the wrong choice.
>But it proves not to be needed, Fluttershy says she'll let him keep going, but explains that he threw off the balance of Everfree by removing all predators, there needs to be at least some for balance and he must send some back.
>Seven has a better idea.
>That better idea is finding a lab where they run unethical/illegal tests on animals, and just freeing them. Fluttershy is for this idea.
>Chrysalis listens to Cadence rant about feeling unneeded and that she feels selfish for wishing things would go wrong if she wasn't there, but can't offer her any help on feeling better, not knowing how to approach this, and dealing with her own problems.
>So, she offers to set stuff on fire... that works.
1/4

>>25389137
>They spend the rest of the day blowing up the barren wasteland around the Empire.
>Pinkie throw a pie in Chitania's face, this works in making her too numb with shock to even get mad.
>Pommel tries to make Chitania leave his princess alone... it doesn't work.
>Twilight goes to the Empire to find Chrysalis and tell her the good news that the device is done, but she has already left. She finds 42 instead, and the two are now waiting for her to return.
>Nothing is going wrong on 18's and SA's date.
>DT is looking for Twilight to do more Twience stuff, but Twi is already gone. A little put off by being left behind with barely a note, she stomps off, only to be confronted by a well dressed delivery man who gives her a note from Pennydrop.
>The Nightgard captain at last reveals herself to 56! It turns out she was that super expensive instructor 29 paid for. She says she's considering letting 56 try out for the lunar guard, if he can find the common room!
>She also needs to hire better effects crews.
>Dash and Gilda got drunk preparing for drills.
>Suckerpunch realizes that Chitania would know about 41's mom, and being crazy decides to ask her.
>Surprisingly, it works. She does know, and will tell her. One problem, 41 doesn't know her moms name, or her real name, or even her power, so Chitania has no way of knowing.
>So, Chitty tosses her into the air and guesses off the scream... this works.
>After learning that her mom was Titania, Chitania's rival and frequent giant-monster-brawl partner, 41 is a little... weird, and goes off to sulk a bit.
>AJ, Pinkie and Chitania get into a banjo duel... yes, you read that right. Those three get into a banjo duel.
>12 might be a sociopath.
>BUT FOR THE MAIN EVENT!
>The teaching lesson with 29 and Luna breaks down as more and more she contrives situations to teach him, but he never sees it as she does.
2/4

>>25389142
>He continues to belittle and mock her attempts, angry due to her continually putting him down and forcing him into these situations.
>Eventually, it gets to her, and she realizes none of this is working.
>In a bit of sadness and despair at failing yet again as a teacher, she goes off, leaving 29 alone.
>He begins to be haunted be strange shadows, showing him horrible events like everyone leaving him behind. He gets angry at her, demanding to know why she would show him these things.
>It turns out, she didn't.
>...Tantabus did.
>In her sadness, she felt guilty for what she had done again, and accidentally let it out.
>The being starts to more directly attack him, battering him in a bout of bug related slapstick, all the while Luna can't bring herself to defend him.
>He remains strong for a while, but eventually Tantabus gets to him, and uses it's influence to make him wonder if anyone ever actually liked him at all. Luna listens to his words, noticing quite a lot of similarities over his guilt at being part of the invasion and her own as Nightmare Moon. Draining him, Tantabus is almost ready to leave.
>Seeing her student in peril and the being about to escape at last breaks Luna out of her funk, and she rushes to defend him, trying to convince him Tantabus's influence is a lie and he isn't hated. He doesn't believe her.
>So, she brings in backup, in the form of the ghost kids. They help 29 out of his state, and break Tantabus's influence long enough that Luna can do battle with it, and at last put her guilt behind her and reabsorb Tantabus.
>With this behind her, she feels like at last she can teach him a lesson.
>That lesson? Give him exactly what he wants.
3/4

>>25389154
>An gorgeous Empress who wants his 'services', a life of luxury with her, and no tricks. He is given exactly what he wants.
>Just one hiccup, he'll have to quit his job with Mayor Mare, and leave Ponyville and everyone in it behind, including 56, as travel would be long and costly, and hard to do with his 'job'.
>Given everything he wants but realizing he has to give up everything to get it tears him apart inside, as he had believed for so long this isn't merely what he wanted, but what he deserved.
>When Luna returns him to Ponyville to hand in his letter of resignation, seeing MM, Zecora and Trixie worried about him is the last push he needs.
>He burns up the letter, and laments that he just woke up from a dream.
>The dream was nice... but reality is better.
>Luna, at last, taught her very first lesson.
>..And nothing is going wrong on 18's and SA's date- no, wait, Cadence just walked into a liquor store.
>Shit.

Sorry if I missed anything this go round, doing this on my lunch break and skimming with a phone is hard. Might also be why this reads a little funky.

If I did, tell me about it!

>>25389163
>Writing all that on a phone

Dude...

>Chitania
"Pinkie"
~~~

"So, you can play the banjo."

>I can.

"And you can play the piano and violin."

>Yes.

"Cello?"

>Yes.

"Trumpet?"

>Lost a lot of good changelings practicing that one...

"Bongos or drums?"

>Started with those, but I never got very good at them before I destroyed them all.

"What about a bass?"

>Meh. Decent.

"Okay, okay, but here's one I know you can't play... electric guitar."

>...they come in electric now?

"HA! I can play an instrument you can't!"

>Wait, you can play every other instrument?

"You betcha!"

>Huh... never met anyone else who could play the oboe before. Neat.

"..."

>...

"...Crap."

>Heh.

"Why did you learn so many precision instruments anyway?"

>...reasons.

"Are they cute reasons?"

>...no.

"..."

>...

"They're cute reasons."

>I will punch you.

>>25389244
They really are cute reasons.

You name me something cuter than wanting to know you can hug your babies without crushing them.

You name me right now.

>>25389192
Right? Holy shit. I can barely write a damn three sentence reply on that thing.

>>25387177
Yay! Applejack action scene!

I don't care if NC, it counts.

>>25385963
>>non-consensual hugging fanservice!
2Lewd4me

>>25388755
Well done. Kinda amused AJ can make Sunset blush. Takes all kinds eh?

>Mr Cake
"Mrs Cake"
~???~
~~

>...Huh. Business has been kinda slow lately.

"Mmmhmmm."

>...You think we need to market more?

"Maybe."

>...You don't think the princess is going on a diet, do you?

"YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

>B-but she hasn't had as much here recently. It's like she found... other interests.

"NO! No don't say that! Don't say iiiit!"

>What if she... moved on?

"NOOOO-"

SLAM!

~I NEED THE BIGGEST, FATTEST, LEAST HEALTHY CAKE YOU HAVE EVER MADE, AND I NEED IT TO SAY CONGRATULATIONS LULU ON THE TOP, NOW!~

>...

"...Crises averted."

~NOW I SAID!~

>>25389588
I don't know, I didn't really like how casual her attitude about it was.

So now AJ has slept around like a lot or something?

....not a fan.

>Zecora
"29"
'???'
~~~

>Huh, this is a strangely challengeing task. I do not even know who else I should ask.

"Oh? Thou seeks something, enchantress so grand? Speak to thine friend, and aide shall be given."

>I'm afraid this is not something you can help me with, though the offer is very kind. I'm actually seeking out the hair of a virgin, neither of which in you I can find.

"Ah. Fair enough."

'Oh! Zecora, I'm sorry but I couldn't help but overhear, did you just say you needed hair from a virgin?... Hello Twenty Nine.'

"Princess used-to-be-a-whale."

SLAP!

"OW!"

>Ah, Rarity, yes indeed that is what I seek. Is there someone you know of who is so meek?

'Why, of course I do darling! You're looking at her! Here you are.'

>...

"..."

'Is something wrong?'

>Er, no, no of course not, I am merely shocked you say it like that. I was merely... surprised you were quick to pop up like a top hat.

'Oh, think nothing of it!'

"..."

'Why do you keep staring at me you disgusting little bug?'

"You."

'What?'

"You did hear she was looking for a virgin, right?"

'Yes? Why would that... well I never!'

SLAP!

"OW!"

'HRMPH! I'll have you know I am saving myself for my romantic wedding, thank you!'

>Really? That's odd, I just never met the right the right stallion. I just don't treat it to be given away like some special medallion.

"..."
'...'

>What?

"..."
'...'

>...HEY!

SLAP!

"'OW!'"

>HRMPH!

STOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMP...

"...Huh. That's... a revelation."

'Right?... We're not racist for thinking that just because she's a zebra, right?'

"...Well, I'm not."

'...Huh.'

"So you're seriously a-"

'YES!'

"Huh."

>>25389700
Not a fan either, didn't really seem like her during and kind of felt like a forced way to push in some headcanon(REALLY forced when you see the first attempt), but there's nothing NC worthy about it, so I'm not gonna contest it, and there's no real reason to.

Doesn't read like her, but meh, no reason to fight.

>>25389702
HA! Now that's funny.

>>25389700
Some guy a number of threads ago said something along the lines of "sex wouldn't be/isn't really much a big deal for her or "something that it's "business as usual"

I wouldn't say she's a homewrecker or swinger or whatever, just that she thinks there's no shocking reveal about it.

Iunno, I'm drunkj

>>25389797
I don't expect her to be super hung up on it in others but just the incredibly cavalier way it was done...does not feel right at all for 'family values' character.

Did the guy give any kind of reasoning or justification?

>>25389702
And back to being slapsticked.

Oh, 29, never change.

>Mayor Mare
"29"
'Carrot Top'
[Berry Punch]
{Lyra}
~BB~
(Aloe)
(Lotus)
~~~

It had been a while since she had a mob outside her doors... She didn't miss it.

>Alright, please will everyone just calm down!

'Calm down? CALM DOWN!?'

[How can you expect us to calm down!? Look, we were okay when you brought in the ONE of them-]

"I am not going to like where this is going."

[-but we have to draw the line at the big one!]

>...Big one?

{Have you not been outside or something!?}

"Wait, I'm lost too, what big one?"

~The big one of you!~

"Blasphemy! Lies upon thine tongue! I am the grandest of mineself, and the only one to which has been granted this earth!"

(She means the big, er... thing.)

"Mares, I assure thee, mine thing is as grand as it is going to get."

(PFFFT!)

"I CAN FWOOSH!'

>Aloe, Lotus, please calm down.

"...Wait, er... which..."

((...))

"...which one is..."

((...))

"...nevermind."

>Okay, seriously, what big one of what are you all talking about!?

~The big changeling! The one that can grow huge!~

>What about her?

'SHE'S OUTSIDE!'

>...

"...Er, Marey?"

>.......meep.......

"...Citizens, thine mayor wishes all to know that the situation is well in hoof and under control! Return to thine lives, for nothing is amiss and nothing bad shall happen!"

'...You don't actually expect us to buy that, do you?'

[If you're gonna ask me to do something crazy, at LEAST buy my a strong drink first!]

"Fine. Will a Mareidian wine suffice?"

[Meh, I've done crazier for worse.]

~You can't bribe us all with wine!~

"I have cheesesnacks."

{SOLD!}
~Damn.~

"What about you two?"

(Guess who is who and we'll leave.)

"...Aloe, Lotus."

(...You got lucky, asshole.)

(We're watching you, RACIST!)

It took some more bribery for some, but eventually the small brave mob left the mayors door.

"...Okay! So!... Options!"

>...burn the town down and hope that the monster doesn't like getting soot on her hooves?

"...Well it's better than anything I've got..."

>>25389850
>cavalier
What's that mean?

>>25390021
Very casual, devil may care.

May have misspelled.

>>25390037
No, you got it right.http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cavalier

OOCO
>Pinkie
"Dash"
'FS'
[AJ]
{Twilight}
~???~
~~~

>Alright, we're trying this again... welcome back to PINKIES PARTY PR-

"Propellers."

>ONE MORE TIME, DASH! You ruin my take one more time, AND I WILL END YOU!

"Oh, I'm sorry, I can't hear you all that well. Ringing in my ear, you see, because of ALL THE EXPLOSIONS!"

>...Well you don't have to yell.

'Um, should we really be doing this? Is this still... legal?'

>There isn't a law against it!

[Yet.]

>...Don't you screw me on this, you apple booty mare.

{Where are we anyway?}

>Somewhere far away from anything that can be detonated.

"...you do care..."

'Oh, well... so then there's a party out here?'

>Yep! It's called Burning Pony!

"...why do you let yourself get hurt, Dash? Why do you let yourself get hurt..."

>And we're gonna crash it! WITH TWIENCE!

{Ohhh no, I only came out here to make sure you don't blow anything up again.}

>And we aren't we're going to put it out! With fire safety!... I'm going for an educational bit with this one. Network thinks I'm giving a bad image.

{Well... fine.}

>SO! How would we put out a giant pony made of straw?

{Depending on it's size, two gallons of water for every square meter of fire, a pound of dirt per meter, or-}

"An explosion."

{...Yes, I suppose an explosion creating a sufficient vacuum would suffice, but it would have to be big.}

"Airship big?"

{Airship big would do.}

>But we're not gonna do that! We're being safe... and we don't even have an airship!

"She's got you covered."

>Who's got... RARITY NO!

~WILDCARD BITCHES!~

"...why do you let yourself be hurt, Dash..."

BOOOOOOM!

>>25390257
>Dash is slowly going insane from these.

Perfect.

>>25390308
How many times can you get blown up before you like it?

>>25390423
If Dash starts getting off on it like Celly does to drowning, we're fucked.

>>25390471
It just keeps going, sooner or later the entire cast will be committing faux-suicide on a threadly basis

>>25390423
>mrs. Twilight? How many blasts to the center of the concussion pop?

'Let's find out'

'One'

<boom!>

>NO!

'Two'

<BABOOM>

>WHY!??!?

'Three...'

<BOOMBABOOMBABADDABOOM>

>Wheeee!!!!!!

'Three. '

>Heehee word make swirly things...me am boom dash now go nigh night.

<thud>

>>25390488
Except Applejack.

She'll just keep getting caught in comical misunderstandings.

>Celestia
"Guard"
~~~

>...

"Erm, this isn't going to be a shoot the messenger thing, right?"

>...

"No?"

>...

"I'm banking on no. Mostly because I have to."

>...

"I mean, is what she did... legal? She is a princess, right?... Can you guys actually do something illegal, or is it then made legal by the fact that you did it?... Do you have diplomatic immunity, or do you just, like... write a law that says it's legal and then go do it?"

>...

"...I'm rambling. Is the rambling annoying you? I'm sorry if it is, I'm just a little... well, a lot worried. I am very very worried."

>...

"...Are you mad at her?"

>...

"...So then, Princess Fluttershy was NOT supposed to do this thing in the paper."

>...

"...The Hive Gazette is VERY fast at reporting stuff, have you noticed that? I mean, wow, it had to have just happened a couple hours ago. Very impressive-"

>Leave.

"YES MA'AM!"

CRASH!

>...I meant through the door, not the window... was he a pegasus? We're very high up... I'm going to assume he was a-

"OH CRAP"

THUMP!

>...oh dear.

>>25390658
...how the fuck did everyone outside take that?

>Oh look, another one has leapt to what is certainly shattered bones if not death from the princesses balcony, how nice!

>>25390488
>Hey, Applejack?
"Yeah, Twilight?"
>You noticing anything funny?
"Bout Pinkie wandering off with pills, Dash with some bombs, Rarity with a tank of nitrous oxide, Fluttershy with a buncha bullets and Shiny and Celly with giant ass rocks?"
>Yeah, that seem weird to you?
"Nope."
>...Just checking.

>>25390658
Okay, 10's getting creepy with her speed.

How.

>SA
"18"
~~

With every new answer, things went from bad to worse.

"So, just to check tolerance levels-"

>If she so much as smells it.

"...Seriously?"

>Completely off her rocker with one glass of cheap stuff from when I had a wine cellar.

"...oh, right. Holy crap right! You had a whole wine collection, didn't you?"

>Massive, absolutely massive.

"How much of it is left?"

>...

"...like, any?"

>...

"...None?"

>Not a drop.

"Wow, um... that's kind of extreme."

>I try not to think about it.

"You ever think of making her pay you back?"

>If I did, I'm pretty sure I would own her, legally.

"...Really?"

>Since I was sixteen, and my parents are pretty well off and a Captains salary is pretty high, you do the math.

"Ah... So, about Caddy-"

>If she so much as smells it, she's totally tipsy.

"..."

>...Hey, so long as we stop her, nothing going wrong, right?

"Right."

>Right?

"Right!"

>Nothing is going to go wrong.

"Nothing!"

>...

"..."

>Lets hurry.

"Yeah, we're gonna hurry up."

>>25390705
By now it's almost a ritual. You leap for luck and strength.

>>25391291
Well, I mean, Celly does it every other week.

It can't be that bad.

>>25391289
I had totally forgotten he used to have a wine room.

Didn't Chrysalis destroy what remained with a drill?

>>25391523
>Wall diving becomes the new crazy
>Ironically, it kills off the dumbest
>Overall intelligence skyrockets.
>Equestria becomes a utopia.
>CE remains unchanged, but for some reason shaving has just taken off.

Guy writing the chryssi/spike thing here.

One thing I want to do is develop his arsenal, themed around typical FPS loadouts from days of yore(the 1990s) and the elements of harmony.

Charity and Crackerjack-2 are a good start, and I added in benificence so far, but herein lies the problem:naming the damn things.

So when I say a typical loadout this is what comes to my mind:

Pistol: Charity

Shotgun: Crackerjack-2

Automatic Rifle: TBD probably will theme on Twili since she gave him an AK in that one NC. may be more of a heavy automatic than just a standard rifle.

Sniper Rifle: Kinda Blueblood's thing

Grenade Launcher: Benficence

Flamethrower:...Him. He's pretty much biologically this.

Rocket launcher: DT's got that on lock.

Exotic: Coming Soon.

As far as naming goes Well:

Generosity:Charity
Kindness: beneficence
Magic: Thaumaturgy
Loyalty: Faith or faithful or faithfullness or something like that
Laughter: Ebuliance
Honesty:...crackerjack-2

It's not perfect.

More importantly, I seem to tend to high falutin' names (not that it is easy to find synonyms for a lot of these things that feel right. How I wound up with 'beneficence' in the first place.)

I'm wondering if anyone else can think of better words to be used for the names while staying within the theme.

On the other hand these are suppossed to be lovingly crafted personal weapons which remind him of his friends so maybe ridiculous names are fine.

Lastly, I need one more weapon. I have ideas for an exotic and an automatic, but I still need one more to round out the six. A melee weapon is all that comes to mind as another standard FPS armament however, and I'm not sure what that would be that would be good enough.

Thoughts?

>>25391981
Fraid I can't help you there, not really interested in Spike's weapons and I suck at naming stuff.

>>25391981
>what that would be that would be good enough.

Good enough for what?

Not gonna lie, this seems like just piling stuff on to him, but if you just want to give him a standard FPS weapon that has a connection to someone he knows, a knife.

Like 77.

Ok writer of the AJ/Zecora whatever.

What did I do wrong this time?

>>25392108
What do you mean? Reaction seemed fine except for one guy not liking Aj being so cavalier about her sex life and one guy feeling like it was a little forced.

Not him, but I get where he's coming from. It's very obvious by how Zecora was used that this was all setup just to have Aj be like "Sex? Yeah Ah've had it and it's great and HAW iffin' ya' thought I'd be any different." Not really much of a punchline, just more of a character bit.

Aside from that, what's the issue? Seems just a matter of some thinking this didn't quite fit AJ, like said here>>25389850

Is something else wrong here?

>>25392108
Made AJ sound like she used to be/still is super casual about sex which seems out of character for a mare who is all about family (which sex tends to produce) and has spent most of her life either working to keep the farm afloat/raising her sister and then working on fixing the entire nation?

Doesn't seem the type to just jump in and out of bed like it's no big thing.

>>25392108
This guy>>25389785 here, just didn't seem like AJ at all.

Like I said, I'm not gonna fight you on it or anything, still canon just fine to me if that's how it is, but it doesn't really feel natural and it really doesn't read like AJ at all, personally. It very much feels like a 'I want AJ to be casual about sex' thing, and not at all like a casual character trait, and as a result I really didn't end up liking the story at all.

But hey, no big and no need to feel worried.

File: ehegehg.jpg (176KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

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>>25392165
>>25392180
>>25392227
Ah bollocks

just fucking NC it goddamn i cant let it slide it's shit its shit its shit i fucked up her character

>>25392253
Ok...look I'm all in favor of NC'ing it but I don't want you to feel bad dude.

Trust, plenty of people have done way worse.

Relax.

>>25392272
it had no jokes, punchline, substance

i dont know what the fuck i was doing

>Pommel
"QS"
'SG'
[Haymaker]
{Lucky Strikes}
~~~

>Has she broken anything yet?

"Only Steam's heart."

'I am not attracted to big mares! I'm not! Stop saying that!'

[No, captain, as the only professional in the area, I will be the first to inform you that no, the Titan has not broken anything yet, and we are clear on that matter.]

{HEY!}

[Professionals do not say 'hey' out loud.]

{...Screw you.}

>Look, just... just keep an eye on her. The rest of the lings are fine, they're not going anywhere, it's the one who kicked out collective asses and nearly squashed us with a giant centipede I'm worried about. Do not let Chitania out of your sight.

'...Gonna be pretty hard for that one.'

"Especially if he keeps staring at her ass."

'HEY!'

[See? Unprofessional.]

{Dick.}

[Very unprofessional.]

>Look, I don't care what part of her you are looking at-

'REALLY!?'

>-just do not, do NOT, stop watching her, got it?

"'[{AYE AYE CAPTAIN!}]"'

>Ugh, I know the whole boat thing and all, but Daw was captain before we left.

''{[...]}'"

>...Wait... oh, shit right, captain captain... still getting used to that...

''{[...]}'"

>Eyes on Chitania, please.

"You heard the captain! Steamy, keep those eyes glued to that derriere!"

'...when that changeling comes calling for those debts and owns your ass, I'm not helping.'

"I'M SORRY!"

>...These were the volunteers...

[Unprofessional!]

>...they were the only ones...

>>25392313
Not him but dude we all fuck up like that in way or another. I've done it plenty. Pleeeeeenty. Over the course of my 300 or so stories about half of them had some sort of issue or another that caused it to either be scrapped or rewritten.

Like the LunaXChrysalis meeting.

>>25392313
Learning. And learning hurts.

Wait until you feel nausea at the thought of hitting the 'post' button but still feel compelled to do it anyway only to get a wave of pure unadulterated hate for what you spent hours writing.

Actually, let's hope you don't get that particular experience.

Point is, you really should not be too hard on yourself from one miss.

>>25392397
>all the guards around Chitania and on edge

Thiiiisssss is going to end horribly.

>>25392397
Gold from dross Pommy, gold from dross.

You've only been here a month.

>>25392462
>13 are you going to be THAT guy who does their own self centered plotting from the rest of the party, ignoring them to talk in hushed whispers to the GM and then incidentally have everyone around killed by you or splattered by a rock you sent rolling in your powergaming ways?

>>25392462
...Or is it...

Hrm...

>Mayor Mare
"AJ"
'29'
[Chitania]
~~~

>Hey, hi, hiya. Heeelllooo, Princess Applejack.

"Er, howdy Mayor. Somethin' Ah' can help you with?"

>Ohhhh, you know, just wanted to check in, say hi, howdydoo, be neighborly and all that.

"Ya' look like ya' need ta' say somethin'."

>Me? Nooo, no no no, why would I, a little old country town mayor, have anything to say to you, the princess? You're all big... and princess.

"Iffin' ya' gotta problem, please just say it."

>Well, since you, the princess, have pressed me, the small town mayor, about any sort of issues, I should, nay, am obligated to answer. It would be treason otherwise, really!

"No it wouldn't."

>Since you brought it up... Need to talk about the elephant in the room.

[Is that a crack about my weight?]

>NO NO FAUST NO NO NO NO NO YOU ARE VERY PRETTY AND SKINNY!

[Did you just call me skinny? I'll have you know I worked hard for these muscles.]

"No ya' didn't."

>I MEAN YOU ARE VERY ROBUST AND FULL!

[Did you just call me fat?]

>NO!... Y-yes? Maybe?

[...]

>...Help.

'A-HEM!'

"Twenty Nine."

'Princess S-...'

"..."

'...Applejack. Sorry.'

"...Huh..."

'Open thine ears, Princess of this land! Lo, doth many of the fellows of this town skitter in fear and freight! Away they are cast every which way, scurrying into thine hobbles like mice from the storm. And lo, doth the storm thunder! A mass of black and rolling waves that brought destruction upon its wake. For now, yay, the storm has calmed, but as we all know... tis only the briefest of pauses before it rages again, and casts lightning upon our heads. We fear... to the ground we hide... we fear.'

"...What the fuck did he just say!?

>He said she scary.

'Verily.'

[SPEAK CHANGELING!]

'EEP!'

>Hiding behind me will do literally nothing. Literally.

"Look, Ah' know she's scary, but she won't leave and technically she ain't gotta."

>...please?

[No.]

>Yesm.

1/2

>>25392812

'Bah! Tis a ruler to high within her own cavern that cannot hear the words of the subjects below!'

"Uncalled for."

[Were you talking about me? SPEAK CHANGELING!]

"How do ya' not know what he's saying? Don't ya' always read books?"

[What does that have to do with anything?]

'BEGONE! Thou frighten the children with thine presence!... And me! Very much me!'

[Your fake accent slipped.]

'Tis nothing fake about...'

[...]

'...Fine, it's only a little fake.'

"Pfft."

>Just make her leave, please?

"Fine, Chitty? Leave."

[...the FUCK did you just call me?]

"Those two call ya' it all the time?"

[THESE TWO!?]

>ACK! NO! NO NO NO!

'TIS A LIE!'

"Meant the two hangers on ya' got."

[Oh... they're different.]

>...Sooo-

[Here's an idea, you leave.]

>...I like this idea.

'It has merit, I admit.'

>Away?

'AWAY WE GO!'

His wings buzzed to life, and carried them both away at top speeds.

"...Ah'm gettin' so much flack for this."

[Ha.]

"...Just hhhhaaaaddd ta' save her... bein' a mushroom wouldn't have been so bad."

~~~~

Wow, writing 29's dialog is weird. How the fuck do you guys do this so often...

>>25392824
Just have a writer who inexplicably loves writing about characters who talk funny.

It's literally the only reason why Zecora is not a forgotten character.

>>25392064
good enough to feel special both to him and the friend it 'stood' for. Almost like a memento of them or a way to always carry his friends with him.

>>25393133
Well, then the 77 knife fits.

77 is important to Spike as one of his A-team, one of the ones he fought with and formed his tight gunclub circle with.
The knife is is important to 77 in that it represents not giving up and not giving in to despair.
It would be special to both Spike and 77 in that it represents that even if you're just down to a pointy thing on the end of a stick, you're not dead till you're dead, and not to give up. The guns can run out of ammo, that can't. Even if he's down to brass tacks, he's still fighting.

That fit?

>>25392064
It's not necessarily just piling stuff on. Remember when DT started carrying weapons for the others? She personally doesn't use them, she just brought something for them in case they need it. I think that's a big step in her character, so him doing it too, doesn't necessarily have to be all about just how cool he looks. It can be a character thing, not a woohoo I'm so awesome thing.

>>25392906
Hey, takes all kinds. It's certainly a unique pairing if nothing else, certainly not one of the more normal groups. He makes it work.

>>25393212
That does fit...might be good to have 77 join in this way, but I was mostly thinking of the main 6 for this. If it was expanded out I could see Blueblood providing him the sniper, or DT leaving him Sexy in her will. Could even throw shiny or cele in there with something. Mostly all for sentimental rather than practical reasons.

>>25393314
I honestly always think of it more as a painter with his many brushes. You need all different kinds to make art.

Having him carry an arsenal to pass out to others is not a bad idea though what with the hammer space.

First things first though: a gag

>>25392508
Am I the only one wondering where 13 is?

>>25393746
I think EVERYONE is wondering where she is.

>>25390257
So who's more broken here?

I feel like everybody is a little... just some more than others.

>>25393746
It is kinda odd she just vanished, isn't it? Chitty isn't even wondering where she is.

How is it she is more unsettling then chrysalis when she pulls this...

>>25393947
Because by this point, we've got a handle on Chrysalis, we know what she's capable of, what she's like, who she likes and just how far she's willing to go.

Not so much for 13.

The unknown is always the scariest.

>>25392824
Did 29 just say she had her head up her ass? That was kind of clever.

File: 1004955__safe_pinkie+pie_applejack_shipping_animated_lesbian_sleeping_tree_applepie_artist-colon-ggumbaramggun.gif (2MB, 700x700px) Image search: [Google]

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Very Non-Canon. Needed to get it out of my head.
>Pinkie
"AJ"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and the real action begins!

"Okay we're in the bathroom. You want me to set you down in the chocolate bath?"

>Yup, I never established rules about getting hurt, so I can say chocolate heals you in dreams and then act like it doesn't later. Consistency is overrated.

"..."

>Just put me in the chocolate.

"Alright..."
Puts Pinkie in chocolate.
"Ah guess Ah'll be going now."

>Wait, join me. I punched you too. It's only fair. In fact, I insist. My dreamhouse, my rules.

"...hard to argue that Ah guess."
Submerges herself in chocolate.
"...huh well Ah'll be. Ah'm feeling better already."

>Told ya. Can you massage my back? You've got those strong hooves.

"Are you sure though? Ah don't know mah own strength sometimes."

>I trust you.
AJ starts massaging Pinkie's back.
>Ahhh...that's it...I can really feel it...Mmmph......let me return the favor.

"What?"

>It'd be rude of me not to massage you too.

"Um...Ah guess...mah back's fine though."

>Then let me massage your legs.

"o-oh"

>Hey, you've got a really nice tush.

"Uh, that's not exactly mah legs."

>Whoops...sorry. I can't see under the chocolate.

"You know, you're probably going to get diabetes one day with all this unhealthy-"
Pinkie licks her cheek.
"What was that for?"

>You've got chocolate on your face.

"We're in a chocolate bath. We're covered in it."

>Don't make this weird AJ. I just want to be close to you.
Put her hoof over AJ's shoulder.
>Sometimes it feels like we never hang out as much any more. Let me stay close for a bit. Plus I get worried about you some times. Have some fun AJ. Live a little.

"Awww...Ah suppose there's no harm in this."
Licks Pinkie's cheek.
"...you actually taste like strawberry and chocolate...why?"

Pinkie looks to the viewers.
>And that's how you get chicks to lick you, Pinkie Pie style.
*Wink*

>>25394902
Oh, Pinkie.

NC you is such a treat.

>>25394902
Oh, I'll bet she winked.

>>25395830
HAH!

Because pony...

Morning, thread

>>25396505
PUFFY

MARE

VAGINA

>>25394902
Around Pinkie, never Blinkie.

>>25397203
Morning anon.

OOCO
>AJ
"SA"
'Celly'
~~~~

Sip.

>... Did you all order the coffee?

Sip.

"...Nope. Not a coffee drinker myself."

>Me either.

Sip.

'...It's not bad.'

>Yeah, not as bad as it seemed.

"Could be worse."

Sip.

>....We don't wanna get addicted here.

"Yeah, that would be bad."

'Yeah.'

Sip.

>...AH NEED THIS!

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE!?"

'MOOOOORREEE-'

CHUGCHUGCHUGCHUG

>>25385359
Ghost hat spinoff when?

>Actarius
"32"
'88'
~~~~

>Boss? I'm going for a coffee run, you want anything?

"Yes. My life back. Can you get me a tall cup of that? That would be delightful."

>...uh....

'Is that a jab at me? I am not afraid to start wildly throwing knives if it was. I don't even care what part of you I hit. I'll shove it up in uncomfortable places.'

"Be more action back there then I've gotten in a while."

'...well. That's one way to keep my knives holstered.'

"What a coincidence, I've been keeping something else holstered here recently as well!"

>Knives?

"..."
'...'

>Sorry, just thought between her and 77, you had a theme going on.

'He's more a fan of getting stabbed than doing the stabbing."

>... He likes getting stabbed?

"Depends on how you do it."

>...
'... He's not gonna-'

>OW!

"This would be Hillarious if I didn't want to cry."

>Yeah, I probably look pretty dumb... Can you show me sometime?

"I-"

'Oh yeah, I'll show you proper stabbing technique any time you want, big boy. Don't worry, I'm good for... practice.'

>Great!... Well, going to get some coffee, be back after lunch, boss!

SLAM!

"...you monster."

'Gotta be quicker on the draw, 32... Even a blind Ling can see a good thing waiting.'

>>25398400
Why was him stabbing himself so adorable?

>???
"???"
~~~~

>Little thing sure she wants to go? This is not place for weak little thing.

"You know, no, I'm not sure. I know what you're thinking, because in thinking it too. This here? This is scary. This is a scary thing in a scary place full of scary things... But nobody gets anywhere if they don't go forwards first! Sure, I might get stabbed, I might get shot at, I might even get held down and about to get my head chopped off! That might happen, wouldn't be the first time!"

>...really?

"But did that stop me before? Nope! Did that make me give up? Nope!"

>Sounds like it should have.

"And I especially, especially, am not gonna start now that someone is in trouble! Hear me? Cuz if you ain't got the moxie to investigate when someone is in trouble, what can you investigate? Nothing, that's what! You see what I've got here? Moxie! Got it for days! Now, are you gonna give me that ticket, and tell me where you saw him last, or am I gonna have to show you what moxie tastes like!?"

>....

"..."

>....

"... Pretty pretty please with sugar on top?"

>... Bug things are weird.

"I thank you for the compliment! We ready?"

>Guess so.

"Alright! Next stop, Stalliongard! ARE! WE! READY!?"

. {BZZT! AFFIRMATIVE!} .

>>25398784
I had no idea who that was till the ending.

Thank god that guy is unmistakeable.

>AJ
"Pinkie"
~~~

>...

"..."

>... Ya' wanna throw the dang bug monster a welcome party, don't ya.

"It's so hard to resist!"

>Pinkie no.

"Pllleeeeeaaasseee?"

>She won't like it.

"That's what you said about Cranky!"

>... And we were right?

"It worked out! Just so long as I keep trying and eventually give her the thing she's always been looking for and never stop bothering her, she'll like me!"

>... Feel like ya got the wrong message from all that.

"It's a proven system, Applejack! Don't fight the system!"

>... We're all gonna die.

>>25399070
>Cue Pinkie showing up in front of Chitty with a bound and gagged Faustmom

... I mean, it'll work.

>>25398784
Oh thank god.

I thought we were just gonna leave Trender over there.

File: 657972__safe_pinkie+pie_animated_screencap_loop_cranky+doodle+donkey_a+friend+in+deed_drums.gif (542KB, 400x224px) Image search: [Google]

542KB, 400x224px

Shoot, well this takes place before >>25399070

>Pinkie
"AJ"
'Chitania'
~~~~
>*GASP* I need to do the thing! Darn it, I don't have my welcome wagon! Time to improvise. AJ you know the welcome song right?

"*sighs* Yes."

'What's she going on about?'

"It's the welcome song she gives new folks in Ponyville."

>Got my instruments! You're singing it AJ. Now a 3-2-1

"Welcome welcome welcome. A fine welcome to you"
Pinkie puts a party hat on Chitania. Chitania looks to see where she went.

"Welcome welcome welcome Ah say how do you do?"
Pinkie comes around the other side and blows a party blower.

"Welcome welcome welcome Ah say hip hip hurray"
Pinkie tosses glitter from above.

"Welcome welcome welcome. To Ponyville today~"
Party Cannon fires off confetti. Cheering from an invisible crowd can be heard.

>Yaaaaay...and this time I didn't put the cake batter in the cannon this time...because your cake is right here!
Presents a cake.
>Tada~
Gummy pops out of the cake.
>Oh so that's where he went!

'...I...I have many questions.'

"...Don't. Just don't."

'But how is she playing 10 instruments at once without magic? How is that physically possible?!'

"Stop...don't think about it."

'But the thing she did with the...and the glitter!'

>That's how I roll!

"Roll with it...just roll with it."

'...my head hurts.'

"That's why Ah said not to think about it."

>41
"???"
~~~

She didn't know how long she had wandered. Truthfully, she hadn't planned to stop, ever. It was only when her head hit a tree and she could not even bring herself up enough to raise her head to see which way she would have to go to walk around that she gave up, and stopped digging scrapes in the dirt in a fruitless attempt to go forwards.

Defeated, she was content to lean on the thing for support, her eyes never raising up from the ground they pointed to, and which she felt kinship with.

>...Sorry, mom.

She slumped, her rear plopping hard to the ground in a fit of depression induced gravity.

>You're probably mad at me, wherever you are... sorry.

She remained there, alone, in the woods surrounded by nothing by emptiness of her head and her heart.

>...I suck-

"Finally! Last one!"

She was seized, quite roughly even, by a magic around her head. It yanked her back, causing her to flop to her back on the ground and forced to look up to the glaring sun behind the trees.

The world seemed to swirl for a second, and she could swear she heard rushing water and a touch of green along the edges of her vision, and then it was just over. That brief bout of severe dizziness, no doubt caused by the violent jerk, was gone.

"Huh... that's odd... What in the name of Love are you doing all the way out here? You need to stay with the Hive, you idiot!"

Her vision focused in after several long seconds, finally allowing her to look up at the slightly matured looking face that she had been forced to come to grips with over the last few months.

>...I uh... s-sorry. I just... needed some time off, Thirteen.

She huffed, shoving at her ever so slightly to coerce her into standing. Despite this, the changeling remained prone, due mostly to the fact that said shoving hoof felt about as strong as a particularly angry kitten.

"Well, then do it within earshot of the Hive! The Queen needs all of us to remain alive, that means you too!"

>Nothing was gonna happen.

1/5

>>25399814

Whap!

Again, all the strength of a baby with a mean left hook, but the point was very much taken.

"That's what every idiot says before they die! You know what happens next?"

>...They die?

"That's right!"

>I don't know why you think that's a victory on your end, that's the only option you gave me-

"Enough! It's almost time to go, and I'm not leaving until you're with the rest of the hive."

>I don't have to-

"UP!"

As she said it, up she went. Her limbs moved on their own, wobbling uncertainly before forcing her upright, and tall.

>...Why did I do that?... uh... did you-

"You're a changeling, you've got defenses."

>Right, right...

"Are you done moping now? Get back to the Hive."

>...I need a bit longer.

She tried to slump down. Thirteen was having none of it.

"UP!"

As commanded, her limbs went straight, and she was tall once again.

>...the scary part is, I don't know if you're doing mind stuff or just really... forceful.

"The latter, I don't use mind magics all that often."

>I'll... take your word for it.

"So why exactly is making you act like your kitten just died?"

>...I know who my mom is...

The loudest, most sarcastic gasp to ever exist rang out through the woods.

"The. Horror."

>Pfft, you're one to talk!

A threating, angry tip of a hoof found itself buried ever so slightly in chitin that was much softer than expected, shoving the other changeling over ever so slightly even with just that minimal force.

>Oh, yeah! Real easy for you to say! Your mother is CHITANIA! Motherfucking CHITANIA! And oh! News flash! She wants you around! AND IS ALIVE! So sorry we all aren't happy running off from them, YOUR MAJESTY!

An equally angry, forceful hoof tried to shove off the one buried in her chest, to no avail.

"Don't call me that."

2/5

>>25399822

>What, YOUR HIGHNESS, am I embarrassing you by speaking of your wonderful status with my lowly flake tongue? Oh, so sorry! I'll try to be more considerate in the future while watching you ride on the back of the strongest changeling on the planet, and I'll be sure to keep my mouth extra shut when you eventually ascend and become another Queen yourself! So sorry, PRINCESS-

"I said STOP."

Sure enough, she did. Her mouth closed of it's own accord, and she could say no more.

"I'm not a princess, I'm not an heir, you hear me!? I'm a drone in the hive of Queen Chrysalis, the end! She is my mother, and... and I'm not going to leave her again, but I'm not a princess, I'm not an heir, and I'm never going to be a Queen... never. This is who I am now, I'm doing this for my Hive now. I'm Thirteen... not who I used to be."

Whatever grip, had it been of fear or magic, released.

>...Why not? Why... why wouldn't you want to be a Queen? They're so powerful, and respected, and you can have your own hive and-

"And I don't WANT my own hive! I'm not a leader, and I never want to be! And I sure as fuck don't plan on e-..."

She had caught herself, just in the nick of time. Almost too late...

"...I'm not going to be a Queen, and I don't need to wish for my own hive. You-"

A crook on the end of a hole shot upwards, lodging slightly into the nose of the changeling trying to glare her down.

"-need to be more thankful that the Queen took you in, and doesn't care that you're a female."

>...I know I'm expendable, thank you.

"No, you're not. For some reason, you and me got lucky enough to serve a Queen who's not going to let us die for stupid reasons, like getting crushed by your newly resurrected mother, even if it would be better that way."

Something inside of her, something strong, told her to fight that and argue it. Despite this, she could not think of a single solitary reason it would be so, every memory said it was as she said, and nothing less.

>I guess...

3/5

>>25399833

"Now, what is the problem here?"

>...She used to be awesome.

This time, when she slumped, the other let her.

>She used to be Titania! Titania, the one who would do battle with the Titan all the time-oh wow I just got that... but she used to be so cool! She used to be the only one who looked at Supersized Chitania and was like, yeah! I can take that! That's awesome! And she outlasted Chitania too, she was still alive after she got frozen... I think! And she... she was...

Slumped further, and further...

>So much better than me in every way... and now I don't even know her special technique. I don't remember her, I don't have anything from her, she's just... gone. And the worst part is, I don't know if our old Queen did it, if Chrysalis did it... or if she did it, because I was such a disappointment. I... I'm pretty much just a 'whoops' all around. Not strong like she was, not brave like she was, nothing... just the lowest ranking soldier. My mom's last legacy is... a dead last kid.

"...And?"

If she had slapped her, it would have hurt less, and that's before accounting with the other's tiny physical might.

>AND!?

"Yeah, and? Who cares what your Queen would have thought. Take it from someone who knows, sometimes Queens just plain don't know anything, even if they pretend to."

>But-

"No buts! Look, once upon a time, my Queen honestly looked at me and said "Someday, you are going to take over for me." Me. ME. Look at me! I can't do Titan Magic! Does it look like I would stand a chance even if I did? I'd get knocked over by a breeze!"

She couldn't argue that one.

"But she just kept insisting and insisting and insisting, and eventually I just realized she didn't know what was best, and I had to leave. You're your own ling, Forty One! You're not who you were, and you're not who you used to be! You've got to carve your own path now. Forget about the past, and just think about the future... with the Hive."

4/5

>>25399842

It resonated her, deeply into her mind. She listened, hanging on every word, even when her voice went low.

"Besides, you don't want to be like your Queen anyway."

>What... what do you mean?

"Because your Queen... was always runner up, never the victor. You-"

She jabbed a hoof to her chest, at last just a bit of power seeping in.

"-need to be something bigger, for this hive. Don't worry about what she was, think about how much she would have wanted you to be... if she did. If she didn't want you to surpass her, then fuck her. You don't have to be who she wants you to be, Forty One, be who YOU want to be."

She remained speechless, didn't know what to say, or if she should say anything.

"But if you really want to know about her... see me later, when we've got some alone time and you're not on this trip. Who knows, maybe your old Queen's power will be of pretty good use to the Hive. Maybe you can be something even better than she was... but later."

She shoved, just a light one, on her shoulder, legs moving on their own accord as she began to walk back towards the others.

"Don't be who she wants you to be, Forty One... be who you need to be."

She slowed, just a bit, fighting instincts and her own limbs as she looked back to the more matured looking ling.

>...Thirteen?

"Yeah?"

>Do you... love your mom, really?

"...I wouldn't have left if I didn't, and I wouldn't have stayed if I didn't. Now MARCH."

She shoved again, but it was not needed. She moved, on her own accord, she moved.

"Be more, Forty One. Be bigger than she was."

The words shook through her like vibrations though a bell. The sun shined in her eyes, as at last, she walked with her head pointed up.

>...I want to be more...

>>25399854
I dunno if I should feel motivated or scared

>>25399891
Scared.

It's very clear she's in "FOR THE HIVE" mode, and is now up to full on mind-fucking possibly without even knowing it.

What did she mean by 'last one'? Did she mindfuck around with all the other lings?

>>25399854
She kinda has a point, Titania sounds cool on paper but she was her eternal runner up, not a success like Chitty.

...Also her life wasn't non-stop horrible like Chitty. You know what? Do not try to be like Superbugs, their lives suck.

>>25399905
>What did she mean by 'last one'? Did she mindfuck around with all the other lings?

Wouldn't the guards have seen-... wait.

Ahhhhhh, ahahaha, ahhhh, shit.

>>25400311
Son of a

>>25400311
Y'SEE THIS IS WHY I DON'T LIKE HER

SHE'S TINY YET CAPABLE OF FUCKING THINGS UP CALMLY, COLLECTEDLY AND MASSIVELY

I DON'T LIKE IT

>>25400311
>>25400441
>>25400476
Am I just retarded, what the fuck are you guys talking about?

>>25400525
13 is up to no good, from what i can assume, involving lots of subtle mind fuckery with 'Lings for no raisin. And Subtly zotting guards so they don't see what's she's up to.

And I hate and I hope she gets hurt

>>25400525
>Guards/Princess/Sunset would have noticed if she did something to the Lings so long as they were paying attention to her.
>What are the guards/Princess/Sunset ACTUALLY paying attention to right now?
>Hint, it's not the lings
>It's not 13
>It's the one who demands attention whenever she's around, and has a history with all of them that would make them pay extra attention to them, less so to her.
>If she wanted to do something in broad daylight, she'd need a distraction...

>>25400545
>And Subtly zotting guards so they don't see what's she's up to.

She doesn't have to do anything like that, she just has to bring down Chitania and they do the rest, because she's MOTHERFUCKING CHITANIA.

Are we sure this is what's going on?

13 has never struck me as 'villain' material. I mean sure the power is there, just not the personality/will/ego

>>25400609
She very much does not seem to seek power, command or control, and actively fights obtaining more.

It's possible that, like 7, this is just well intention extremest, not villainy.

>>25400609
I'm not getting a villain vibe from her at all, and she sure as hell doesn't have the go or selfish personality to pull this off in a negative fashion.

She might just be protecting her 'family'.

>>25400609
Yeah, aren't we kinda jumping the gun here? She hasn't done anything villainous, or even mean. We're just assuming she brought Chitty down for a reason.

She came down to 'check' on the Hive. Well... maybe that's really just it? Maybe she really did just be like 'I want to make sure you're all okay and not being subtly manipulated', and she brought her mom in case that was the case? She'd be able to detect subtle stuff, with her crazy level mind powers, that Chrysalis might have missed being trusting. She might've just brought Chitty because, hey, something might've been wrong, and if there was then Chitty could handle them while she protected the hive, her mom would punch AJ in the face if she told her to.

Just saying. What, a changeling can't be the racist one all 'I don't trust you ponies!' after what happened to Chitty?

OOCO
>Spike
‘Chrysalis’

The pair made their way down the oddly deserted corridor, being careful to conceal themselves as best they could despite the lack of resistance.

It felt wrong. Nearly every part of these tunnels were full of life. Horrendously deadly, utterly terrifying life it had to be admitted, but life nonetheless.

>This is weird…why would this part be empty?

‘A few possibilities, one nothing to eat.’

>Dunno about that, I mean there’s enough to eat in the rest of this cave system it got filled up right?

‘Two, they just never got down this far. Maybe this part is sealed from the rest?’

>I guess it’s possible…

‘Three-‘

>Is that light?

Looking ahead into the dark a faint glimmer was visible.

>C’mon!

As quickly as they could without throwing caution to the wind they moved toward the light, closer and closer until they emerged into a large chamber.

>Woah…it’s beautiful…

‘It is…nice, I guess.’

The ceiling of the chamber was covered in a dimly luminescent glow bathing the whole chamber in a weak teal light. Despite how faint it would normally seem, in these depths and with little other light around, it allowed them to see far more clearly than anywhere else in the system.
As they gazed around in wonder however, their reverie was quickly broken by a low menacing growl that resonated throughout the chamber.

>…what were you saying about three before?

‘Three…’

They turned toward the source of the noise only to see a massive glowing eye open and focus directly on them.

‘…they all got eaten.’

>…glorious.

<RAUGHGHGHGGH>

<BLAM-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM>

>>25401124
How the fuck did nobody notice this under Canterlot for so long...

>>25401307
...It's in real deep?

>AJ
"Chitania"
'Carrot Top'
~~~
'...'
>.............Are ya'll gonna talk?

'Does she have to be right there?'

"No, I don't have to."

'...'

"...I'm going to, but it's not required."

>Just ignore her.

'...HOW.'

>Just pretend she's a giant pile of angry cats.

'That's even harder to ignore!'

>Exactly, iffin' ya' try for that, then when ya' fail to ignore it, yer' still pretty close, and that should help you ignore that!

'...'

"...What."

>Just tell me yer' problem.

'Look, just... who do I go to in order to get rid of the rabbits in my fields? It's almost time to start getting ready to plant my carrots, but they won't leave! I know what they're doing, they're waiting until I plant it and then it's all "Oh well they were there first so if they eat them it's your fault", but I'm not getting fooled this year! I want them out!'

>So go get-

'Fluttershy is gone!'

>...Worrying.

"I got this."

'Wait what-"

THOOOM!

>...

'...Boy, those rabbits got some air.'

>Those ain't birds? Ya' sure?

'...No...'

"I'm helpful."

>Or ya' hate rabbits.

"I HATE rabbits. They burrowed in my holes once, huge problem."

>...
'...'

"What?... Oh for- LEG HOLES!"

>'Ohhhhh... that's better.'

"So, problem solved?"

'I uh... I guess?'

"Good, Two hundred bits."

'WHAT!?'

"You heard me."

'B-but... but I... that's more than I make in a week!'

"Not my problem."

>Ah' got it, Ah'll just file it under royal pest control.

'Thank you!'

"Anything else you want help with? I'm on a roll here."

'N-no, I'm good. Just need to make it back to my house.'

"Let me help with that-"

'NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPEnopenope...'

>...that was mean.

"Helpful, is what you meant."

>...

"Helpful."

>>25401614
>Chitty can only solve problems by hitting it.

Sounds about right.

>>25401936
The fuck is she gonna do, outthink the rabbits?

...Because she can actually do that too, she's pretty smart.

>>25402117
>so...why're ya'll burying herself again?

'To beat rabbit. You must think like rabbit. You must Become rabbit. Only then will you know rabbit and rabbit defeat assured. '

>...rrrrrrrighhhhht. 'Scuse me, I need to....be litraly anywhere else right now.

>>25402259
NC
~~~~Two hours later~~~

>So then she just starts buryin' herself, and Ah' just figured Ah' had to leave her alone.

"Wait, why? This sounds pretty smart to me."

>...See, Pinkie, this is why Ah' don't let'cha near my chickens anymore-

THOOM!

>...What.

"Wow. That's an impressive army of rabbits, Chitania!"

'Yeah, after I learned of their warrens placement and infrastructure, it wasn't hard to find their hovels and defeat them one by one in single combat after I shrank myself down to the size of an ant-for fairness of course-and after I defeated their leaders they were quick to swear allegiance to me and obey me. I'm thinking about going for the Bears next, what do you think?'

"Oh! Oh! Go for the Quarray Eels next, they're way bigger and more dangerous!"

'This is a good plan, and you are a good pony. MY SOLDIERS! TO WARRR!... By that I mean just kinda futz around a little bit, doing absolutely nothing while I do all the work and take all the glory.'

~SQUEAK!~

'Of course it's a good plan, MARCH!'

>...

"Well, sounds like she's ready to... hop to it!"

>...

"Her plan succeeded by a hare!"

>...

"My heart is Thumper-"

BLAM!

"HOLY SHIT APPLEJACK NO!"

>>25402354
>FLUTTERSHY VS CHITANIA
>ANIMAL WARS

Shut up and TAKE MY MONEY

>SA
"18"
~~~

Speed had been the most important thing at the start. Getting in, getting a hold of her, and then presumably the speed in which she was none-too-quietly stuffed into whatever bag, sack or other holding item they could get their hooves on that would accommodate a minor-alicorn sized pony. The speed in which they did this was most vital on their thoughts, several sections above other niggling questions such as if this was going to appear to be a kidnapping of some kind.

Speed had been the most vital.

So, perhaps that was why it was so odd, to themselves and those watching them run off at a breakneck pace, when they came to a sudden, very still, stop.

>...Eighteen?

"Shiny."

>Is... um... is there something off about her to you?

"There is."

>...Just to double check, it's not just me?

"It is not just you."

>Something is off.

"Something is very off."

They had conceded, subconsciously if not somewhat consciously, that they were going to be asked some questions they could not explain. They were prepared for this, but hoped that the concern on their faces would at least show to those present this was for good intentions.

This was going to be a lot harder with the look on their faces now.

They were not concerned.

They were very much something else.

>...Eighteen?

"Yes?"

>I think something bad is about to happen.

"...I know."

For once, perhaps for the first time in this life...

She accepted this.

"I know."

>>25401614
Now lets see her solve politics.

I'm dead serious.

>>25403189
>Bringing motion sixteen B to the floor, the reallocation of military funds bill. Described therein are the details requesting the acquiescing of allocated funding regarding frivolous expenditures made via the organization known as "The Wonderbolts", over to a more sustainable and long term military strengthening that restructure previously neglected areas of defense regarding defeating beings as previously labeled as 'possessing of an abnormally high level of power', that thus far the military has been ineffectual against. All in favor?

~AYE!~

>All oppose?

~nay!~

>The ayes have it, motion passes.

"..."

>...What? I was a Queen!

"That's not the same... ya' know what? Ah' don't even care."

>yeehaw

>>25403375
Okay, AJ, if Chitty actually can help you with this, don't fucking Question it.

Be like the Ponk, and don't fucking question it.

>>25403375
>Chitty is better at this then Cadence or Luna or... most of them.

Yep.

>>25404130
To be fair, we have no idea if AJ is actually good at politics at all.

>>25404130
Ha no

>>25399854
I adore this, personally. 13 is stopping her path of seclusion and self-destruction, investing in something she loves. She'd make a great motivational speaker... or Queen.

The very, VERY subtle possibility that she may subconsciously use her powers is just the suspenseful cream on top.

>>25404656
Huh, really the thought that she was doing that completely subconsciously never really crossed my mind. That would be a trip , in trying to hold it down, she just became more powerful at it, until it is completely on its own. Interesting...

Morning thread. How's the fallout?

Or the void for that matter.

>>25405764
I do not have a current-gen console and my battlestation is an old as shit laptop. So, no fallout 4. I am avoiding most places where anything from the game could be spoiled for me until I do.

Guess I'll stay around here and write stories more than usual now!

>>25404430
I agree would be done, but it would be funny. Don't want it to happen just think it would be funny.

Morning, thread

>>25406184
Morning anon

OOCO
>AJ
"SA"
'Celestia'
~~~~

>Wow this here coffee is great Ah' jut wanna keep going and going and going and never ever ever stopping ever ever

"Yeah who would have thought that a extra mega double shot of caffeine would be so great I feel like this is never going to end ever and I'll do all the work forever!"

'Why didn't we do this before I mean of course I know why we didn't do this before because we're dumb dumb dumb dumb but now it's like done done done am I right you bet my sweet big ass I'm right and holy shit I love my ass!"

>This here's great!

"This is amazing!"

'We should have always-'

WHUMP!

>"'ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzz......zz...... GAH!... Zzzzzzzzzz...... GN...... zzzz...zz............FUCK!''

>Chitania
"AJ"
'Sunset'
~~~~

"...So what was the deal with her mom anyway?"

>She was a bitch.

'Is that she was an actual bitch, or she was actually nice and your perception of social etiquette is so utterly warped you think that's what makes her terrible?'

>She used to follow me around trying to kill me. With punches.

'...Fair enough.'

"But why?"

>I don't know. It's not even like she was consistent, it's always 'join me!' first, then came the punches and the fights and ugh. Always wanted to team up and unite our hives, then she flips on it.

"...Uh huh."

>What?

'Did she do anything else weird?'

>Yeah, she always tried to beat me physically, never really used lasers. Got real into grappling, which I think is stupid, grappling isn't as fun as punching. But she focused almost entirely on it. Always grabbing me and trying to bite me...

"...uh huh."

>What?

'Say, did she ever say anything funny?'

>Not really, just your standard 'imagine what we can do together', 'join me and we will become unstoppable', 'I can show you real power'. Fucking all the time.

'Did she wink on that last one?'

>...Actually, yeah, how did you know that?

"...Uh huh..."

>What?

'No comment.'

>What!?

"..."
'...Think she's ever gonna figure it out?'

"Ah' really, really doubt it."

>... I feel like hitting things now...

>>25407080
>Titania was Tsun Tsun for Chitty

Dawwww.

Also, I have realized you can't shorten Titania's name the same way we do Chitty's without it looking like we're talking about something else.

>>25407193
Are we though? Given this new development it seems apropos.

>>25407264
It's actually not a 'new' new development, this has been hinted at if not outright described in the "Chitania's diary" shorts. Titty was after the Chitty since before her ascension even.

...Damn, shortening her name is hard. Tit was after Chitania? Tita? I guess Tita kinda works...

>SA
"18"
'???'
~~

Did they look strange, walking in perfect harmony towards the pink pony? Yes.

Did they look odd, with the expressions on their face a perfect match? Yes.

Did they unsettle everyone, with the way they moved? Yes.

Did they stop? No.

>There's an explanation.

"A good one."

>Great one, even.

"Spectacular one."

>There is going to be a great explanation and everything is going to be fine and normal and good and this is all going to make all of the sense.

"All of it. We're going to be drowning in how much sense there is."

>Because none of them are this stupid.

"Not a one. There is nobody this stupid in the world, we probably checked."

>This is going to be...

"Just..."

>"Fine."

They closed in on the voice. Her voice.

Cadence's unmistakable voice.

'Oh no no, this was a terrible year, or so I've heard. Don't you have anything from the fourteenth moon around... oh, right, you were sealed up. Well, it tastes amazing, is what you need to know.'

She remained oblivious as they closed in, all her attention very much still on the shocked and stuttering wine salesmare in front of her. So focused, she barely had any time to hear them coming in before two hooves, in perfect unison, grabbed hold of her shoulders and spun around that pretty, pink, unmistakable face.

Unmistakeable, except for quite a few, very subtle, differences. Very, very subtle.

Such as the fact that Cadence most certainly did not have blue eyes.

'...Darlings!'

>"... I have SEVERAL questions."

>>25407445
Uh

Rarity?

Why?

>>25407445
>Expect changeling
>Get Rarity?

Huh.

I uh... I don't know how to react to that.

>>25407548
While I have no doubt there's going to be a good explanation, I have to give props to playing with my expectations like that. I'm so used to changelings being Caddy that when someone else decides to pretend to be her for a bit I'm genuinely surprised, to the point I was trying to remember which changeling had blue eyes and said 'darling'.

OOCO
>Pinkie
"Dash"
'FS'
[Twilight]
{AJ}
~???~
~~~

>Welcome back to another episode of PINKIES PARTY-

"Do you hate me."

>...

"Notice how there's not questioning inflection to that? That's deliberate. That was planned. Do you hate me."

>...N-no?

"It feels like you hate me."

>I don't hate you, Dashie!

"I'm feeling the hate."

>Nooo! I'd never hate you, Dashie! You're my friend! Really! Whatever would make you think that!?

'Um... I think its that you keep doing this when it normally, um... doesn't go so well?'

>It's not that bad!

[We get exploded, like... all the time.]

>It's not that bad!

{Look, Sugar Cube? Ah'm gonna be the stick in the mud really quick, this goes bad.}

>Great!... I mean, great that you're doing your role, not the... other thing.

{...}

>Look, it's not that bad!

"Says the one who is fine."

>Listen, nothing is going to go wrong this time, I promise!

"...Promise?"

>PINKIE promise!

"...Well... if it's a pinkie promise..."

>It is! So... on todays episode of PINKIE'S PARTY PROWLERS! We're going to crash-

~WILDCARD BITCHES!~

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

SPLAT!

>...
'...'
[...]
{...What.}

"...Did you just hit me with a pie?"

~I did!~

"But... why?"

~Wildcard!... Oh, what, if I just kept setting off bombs, that wouldn't be very wild, would it? It would be predictable!~

"...Huh."

>OH MY GOSH!... YOU ARE THE PERFECT WILDCARD!

>>25407281
Tita makes her sound Hawaiian.

>Aloha, Chitania!

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?"

>>25407193
You don't know, she might've just been power crazy and everyone else is reading it wrong, with Chitty being the only sane one.

It could happen.

>Zecora
"AJ"
~~

"So, how've things been down here round the town?"

>It has been as expected, my stark orange friend. It seems with your departure, major disasters seemed to end.

"...Not quite comfortin'."

>Oh, I did not mean to bring offense. At the time you were a wonderful defense.

"Noted... So, what's goin' on with you?"

>I've been doing many a crazy things in my time since you left. Skydiving, rafting and even standup comedy, of adventure I am never bereft.

"Huh. Ya' didn't seem like the get out there type before."

>I was never one to shy away from some fun. But still, my favored fun buddy you were not the one.

"Yeah, sorry bout that whole... thing."

>It has been so long I have completely forgotten of it. I am glad that in time you made use of my wit.

"Aw, thanks... glad we were friends too."

>Indeed.

"...So is he annoying you?"

>He can be rather headstrong sometimes, it is true. But still... if he left I wold be rather blue.

"Hey, he'll stick around, that's what friends do."

>...Was that rhyme intentional, or did the implications just pass through?

"Dunno, this seems pretty-ACHOO!"

>...

"..."

>...

"...Heh."

>Could not think of a fitting word this time?

"Sorry, ain't for me, maybe Ah' should be a mime."

>...

"..."

BRO-HOOF!

>Word.

"Heard."

File: myfeels.png (132KB, 600x925px) Image search: [Google]

132KB, 600x925px

>>25385359
Y-you used my image for the op?

-dies from happiness-

I didn't think- oh my gosh

>>25408616
One of the, what, ten times these two have ever talked?

>Dash
"Spitfire"
~~~

>....

"...Just take the forms."

>Uh... look, I don't want this to-

"Take the forms."

>We really don't have to keep fighting like this-

"Take the forms."

>-I mean with these two states being allies-

"Take the forms."

>-and I really think we could still learn a lot from each other if-

"TAKE. THE. FORMS."

>...

"..."

>...Okay.

"Good. You do you, I'll do me, we're all nice and happy."

>I'm not feeling very happy.

"Neither am I to be honest, but I'm sure the moment you sign that little paper that'll all change. Sooooo..."

>...I think we should-

"Soooooo..."

>I just want to say I'm-

"SOOOOO...."

>...Signed. Here.

"GOOD. Thank you very much, CAPTAIN Rainbow Dash, good luck with YOUR team."

She spun on her heels, so cold Dash would swear she saw frost on her wings, and walked out as briskly as a dead winter.

>...I just wanted to say I'm sorry...

>>25409188
I JUST WANT THEM TO BE FRIENDS

>>25409005
Can't hear you over BRO-HOOF.

Because ya'll niggas need the sane one.

>>25409336
Too bad. From the moment the maid thing went from laughs to screams that bridge was burned.

>>25409497
They're not going to be friends if people just keep writing Spitfire snub off RD over and over again.

>>25400545
it is 13, getting hurt was her special talent before she became a plot device and ascended to side character.

>>25409497
I think the moment that the maid thing stretched on for longer than a single one-off gag, it was too late.

Like... how the fuck do you backpeddle from that? Comedy only works if it's either not something that will leave a lasting impact, or far more frequently we just cut off and never see the after-effects.

The moment we got to her cleaning her underwear, it was too late. Like... what, we just supposed to assume Spitfire was going to shrug that one off? Laugh about it? NOT be pissed? That's a very specific and vindictive thing that works just fine for a gag that isn't supposed to be between two people who will ever like each other, like a dean and a rowdy comedy teenage goofball, but not so much between someone you want to be friends.

>>25409711
>was too late.
Dude?

We managed to make a mind raping, scheming, decietful, actual rapist, megalomainiac somehow forgiven.

Surely this Spitfire shit is no hard task

>>25409497
>From the moment the maid thing went from laughs to screams

What, you mean when she had her CLEAN HER UNDERWEAR WITH HER TONGUE?

Yeah, minute we reached that point, we pretty much fucked over any chance of these two even tolerating each other. It's one thing to take Spitty's job, it's one thing to make her a maid, it's one thing to make her Dash's bitch, but damn, how do you get out of THAT hole? What could Dash POSSIBLY do to calm Spitfire enough to even give her the briefest of shots? What could she possibly offer her? "Sorry?" Actually better question...

>>25409336
Why?

We clearly set this up so Spitfire will have nothing but hate for Dash with the "Kicks her out/makes her a maid/FORCES HER TO LET 56 EAT OFF HER" thing. That was the comedy, Dash does really really horrible things to Spitfire, but Spitty never gets back at her. That was the whole maid joke. There was literally nothing else to that gag but "Dash comically humiliates Spitfire in increasingly horrible ways".

So, why try to turn it back? I say just own it. If you wanted them to be friends, we should've done SOMETHING during the maid-gags, but at this point? Come on. Let's just have fun with it.

>>25409769
>Surely this Spitfire shit is no hard task

Hate to be the one to say it, but it kinda isn't, it's just that if we do the obvious thing to fix it, we pretty much have to fuck over Dash hard and take away the Wonderbolt captaincy and give it back to Spitfire. That's pretty much the only sure way to do it.

See, with Chrysalis, we were allowed to break her, to shove her down, to hurt her, to dangle success in front of her with the God Mode thing and then not only snatch it away, but thwap her on the nose for going at it. We were allowed to have Chrysalis look like she was going to win and then blam, down she goes again and again.

We can fix the Spitfire thing, no problem, but first we've gotta be willing to take off the kids gloves and really ream Dash for what happened. I mean, seriously get back at her for that, because Dash really did go waayyyyyy beyond far with that stuff, and we just kept doing it.

If we can actually bring ourselves to knock down Dash and snatch her thing away from her, it can very easily be fixed. Buuuuttt... I don't see that happening.

>>25409818_You

Or we can just do this>>25409773
>Come on. Let's just have fun with it.

I mean... why not? Like he said, whole premise of the maid gag was Dash shitting all over Spitfire. Why do bitter glaring instead of having Spitfire get back at her and hurt her in increasingly horrible ways? Have Spitfire get Diplomatic Immunity or something and just make Dash's life hell.

That would be way more fun/ny.

>>25409833
I'll accept this. Want "Friends", but I'll gladly take "Spitfire is never-endingly out there to make every waking moment Dash has terrible in retribution."

I mean, setup works just fine, and it's not like we held back on the maid gag.

>>25409857
>Dash
"Spitfire"
~~

>... What was on that form anyway?

"Release form."

>For what?

"To release me from any liability pertaining to injuries caused by or derived from badger bites."

>...So-

"So you can't sue me for the badger injuries."

>Ahhh... w-what... what badger injuries-

CHUCK!

>OH FAUST THEY'RE GOING FOR MY EYEEEESSSSS!

"Took me eight hours to catch them all and put them in the bag, six hours to wait for them to get hungry, and ten hours training them to go for the soft bits."

>AHHHHHHHHHHH!

"Worth. Every. Second."

>>25409857
This attitude is what turns me off so much about the whole bolts storyline. Comedy made bitter drama and runaway with.

I mean all you are suggesting is doin the same thing essentially only with a change of who's on top. If the maid thing was so horrible, why would this be funny?

>>25409833
For me, the answer is 2 words...Hate Sex.
If folks let their shipping juices flow, they'll think of something to patch things up....and more.

>>25409942
Built-in sympathy for who is doing the hurting.

Eventually the maid thing got to the point where it's hard to internally 'adjust' to think
>Yeah, Spitfire totally deserves this and her not getting anything back at her is fine.
Because for all she did wrong, we piled on the comedy pain 1000 times.

But now?
>Well, if DASH thought it was so funny, let's see how she likes it!
It feels more just due to the fact that... well, this is what Dash did in her time. The storyline now has Spitfire as the one who was pushed down, humiliated beyond compare and then eventually left to wander away in shame, but now she's back baby!

It's a classic underdog tale of someone losing it all and then rising back to get revenge... with badgers, apparently, if that story is any indication.

Time for some revenge, comedy style!

>>25409942
It was horrible to Spitfire, funny to us.
Just like everytime we pile shit on Bugbitch is funny but cruel to her.
But we don't like her as much as Spitfire so her never getting true comeuppance against her main opponent (Dash instead of AJ) and just taking it and having to make up with everyone for her faults (because remember Spitfire being a shit is how this started) won't fly as well.

>>25409929
>Dash
"Spitfire"
~~~

>Okay, so, I'm never signing anything from you again.

"That's a pity, because I have this form from Shiny himself offering donations of anti-air crystal-rockets for your guys."

>Nope. Don't want it.

"And it also has a sub-section allowing you to practice high speeds racing in the frozen tundra. Why, it would be so nice, wouldn't it? Plenty of room to train like you can never manage in Equestria..."

>Nnng... nope. Don't want it.

"Oh, and then there's this oh so nice little donation, due to the surplus we got from this recent Saddle Arabia trade, that would just be such a bright spot to your life! Who know what you could do with... well, I'll let you see the number."

>...Shiny wrote this?

"Every word."

>You didn't?

"I did not write a single letter, never even saw a pen."

>You didn't write ANYTHING?

"Didn't... write... a... letter."

>...

scribble scribble.

"But I did ask him to put in an addendum that I'm allowed to let this suitcase full of flying bullet ants loose in your office and lock the door."

>.......

"He said no."

>PHEW! That was-

"Cadence said yes."

>SON OF A-

SLAM

>BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWW!

"...It's good to have friends..."

>>25410037
>Dash
"Spitfire"
~~

>Okay... OKAY! You're not going to get me this time, you hear me!? I'm not getting got this time!

"Whatever do you mean? You signed forms saying okay for everything I did."

>Not getting me, you hear me Spitty!? NOT GETTING ME!

"Well, I am ever so slightly offended you would think that of me, but nonetheless I am morally obligated to tell you not to fly over there."

>NOT GETTING ME THIS TIME!

"Dash, as a concerned citizen, I must inform you that you are flying too high."

>Do you think I didn't see you drop that stuff on the floor!?

"It's just a newspaper."

>The fuck it is! You are not, you are NOT, GETTING ME!

"Dash, look out, noooo..."

>NOT GETTING-

BZTBZTBZBZZBZBZBBBTTBZZZZT!

"Too close to the bug zappers I hung up?... Nope, you are exactly the right distance away from them."

>I-I think I peed myself.

"Well, good thing I laid down newspapers, at least someone around here cares about maids."

>Please call the doctor.

"I said I cared about maids."

Turns 360 degrees.
Walks out.

>...fuck.

>>25410096
>"I said I cared about maids."

ICE
COLD
YEAH

>>25410037
>>25410096
I'm feeling it.

>JJ
"56"
~~~~

>...What in the fuck...

*SNIIIFFFF!*

"...Nope! Not that way!"

>Why... why are you going around the castle sniffing things?

"Trying to find the common room!"

>The... one over there?

"Nope! Nightgard common room!"

>Wasn't aware those were different... And you're doing this by... sniffing?

"Adoy, guy! Are ya' that slow on the uptake?."

>I like how I'm apparently the dumb one in this.

"I wouldn't like that at all!"

>...Why are you sniffing?

"I'm trying to sniff out... booty!

>...

"...Because I can-"

>Stop.

"...But I can-"

>Stop it.

"...I'm really good at-"

>Please for the love of the Hivemind, stop.

"...'

>Go back to sniffing, I'm sure that will work.

"Wait, really? Crap, gotta change my strategy."

>...

"What? You're not a guy who know what works, juggling dude. Later!"

ZOOM!

>...this is why I'm happy I'm never having kids. Even Acty agrees with me on that one.

>>25410633
>"What? You're not a guy who know what works, juggling dude. Later!"
Yeah, I lost my shit at work.

>>25410633
>"What? You're not a guy who know what works, juggling dude. Later!"
BURN

>>25410633
>56 is a literal poon-hound.

Huh.

OOCO
>SA
"Chrysalis"
'Poindexter'
[42]
{18}
~Celestia~
(Cadence)
~~~~
>Well, this is going to be weird without Spike DM'ing...

"You shut up! We might actually get past the starting level now!"

'...'

"WHAT!?"

'Oh, nothing, just feel like pointing out that, you know, that's all your fault.'

"HAH!"

[Why are you doing that? He's mostly right]
{I shoulder some of the blame, sure, but most of it is you.}

~Seriously, what's the game here?~

(Does this mean you're not going to do the thing?)

"HAH!"

>...Okay. Poindexter? Roll us.

'You find yourself in a cavern of-'

"I CAST ADVANCED SEDUCTION ON SHINY!"

>OH COME ONE!

~Really!? You just said-~

"No, Sunny C, I said that without Lizardo here, at last we can actually make it past the first turn! At last, I can have him beyond this turn, and entire campaign of Shiny-Character-Boning! AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME! AHAHAHAHAHAH!"

(NOOOO! I uh... I... I DO A THING!)

'Roll for initiative.'

"WAIT WHAT!? She didn't even say what she was doing!"

'Yes she did. It was a thing. She's doing a thing.'

"How is that valid!?"

(YAY! Twelve! What does that do?)

'Nothing, not thingy enough.'

(SHOOT!)

"HAH!"

[Can I do a thing?]

'Do the thing.'

"DON'T YOU DO A THING!"

[...Fifteen. Thing?]

'No thing.'

"HAH HAH!"

{Gonna thing all up in this!}

"What is with all these things everywhere!?"

~She said, hoping we wouldn't learn of her fantasy.~

"SHUT IT SUNNY HORSE!"

{SHOOT! Ten! Ten is not thingy enough!}

'Nope.'

~Well, I suppose I can do a thing.~

"I SWEAR TO YOU, CELLY!"

~...yay! Seventeen!~

[That HAS to be a thing!]

'Nope, no thing.'

~No thing!?... Crap! We're out of things!~

(WAIT! NO WE AREN'T!)

"I knew you sucked at math."

1/2

>>25411236

(SHINY! DO A THING!)


>Can I do a thing?

'You can do a thing.'

>Rolling!

"'[{(....TWENTY! CRITICALLLLL!)]}'"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

>I CAN DO THE THING!

'You can do the thing!'

(YESYESYESYESYESYES!)

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

~Wait, what's the thing he can do?~

'He can have sex with Chrysalis's character.'

>"[{(....)}]"

>Wait what

(WHAT!?)

'What? She did an advanced seduction, and he since he had no buffers and no escape route he did the only thing he could do, jump into it. It's literally the only action he could have done, what did you think was going to happen?'

(...Son of a-)

"HAH! C'MERE, SHINY! OH YEAH!"

>...This is because of that whole thing with you know who, isn't it?

'Maybe.'

"OH BABY I MISSED YOU SO!"

>You're scratching my figure...

~That's not the only thing she's doing to it. Rrrow.~

(YOU ARE OFF THE HEARTH'S WARMING CARD LIST, POINDEXTER!)

'...worth it.'

"UNF!"

>>25411242
>OnO again.

Feels so weird now.

I absolutely am happy it came back, it's just so weird.

>>25411242
HO SHIT! Classic OnO returns! FUCKING YES! Missed it so.

>>25411455
>>25411659
With Spike and BugBitch on the outs the only OnO was the joke about Glimmer and NTL/22/Dadling beating a Twilight DM'd game and the VR mini-arc.

>>25411716
Which is why I'm so happy it came back.

I missed it.

>>25411831
We all did, anon.

We all did...

>Dadling
"Bat-Mom"
~~~~

>...I may or may not have destroyed half the wall.

"WHY!?"

>There was... a spider.

"..."

>...

"..."

>...It was crawling towards her.

"..."

>I panicked a little.

"...what kind of spider?"

>You know the big fuzzy brown one with the weird eyes? That one.

"...you did the right thing."

*GIGGLE!*

>She found it exciting.

"As well she should, for all should be happy when the fuzzy brown little terrors meet their doom."

>...I love you.

"I know."

*Giggle!*

Sorry to bring this up ten threads later but on the Chitty heart surgery story I just have to point out Twilight didn’t have much of a leg to stand on with her rant no matter how much you guys wanted to tell her off without consequence. Almost everyone wanted her dead and her interactions with ponies since Shiny let her go have not swayed her.
>She has not started a single fight since she razed…well Equestria
>of the six fights she has been in they have either tried to kill her while she was minding her own business (Spike, Pennydrop, Mr.Popcorn, accidentally Pommel), or was asked to come in (Cordy & Vary).
>Just about everyone (including Twilight) vowed vengeance or considered her irredeemable.
>She didn’t get attacked post Varry because they were more worried about Sunset and too weak in their own right to attack sans Celestia who was understanding of the 13 situation and turned her attention to Sunset
>Twilight’s whole argument is “just because one group of ponies tried to kill you and did kill your hive after you helped them doesn’t mean we would have, you should have trusted us completely. The ponies who collectively have tried to kill you 2 times, 3 if you count Sunset. And we don’t trust you as far as we can throw you so I was going to kill you if I thought you were lying, but shame on you for not trusting us.”
It just bothers me sometimes when characters get on a high horse and say get over it when they clearly couldn’t themselves. In that same argument Twilight is still angry at herself for letting Chitty out, something we thought she got a whole arc over to try to get over it and apparently couldn’t, which is why she was okay with killing herself. So how does she get to say that Chitty should get over her trust issues that (thanks to freezing) happened only hours before Twilight’s own issues she refuses to let go
I’m happy about the state of things now don’t get me wrong I just didn’t like the turn we took to get there initially

>>25412584
Slight correction, she was only ok with putting herself on the line, not killing herself. She just didn't want anybody else's life in danger because of her mistake, because she accepts it was her fault. She didn't want to die, she was just ready to since this was the only way to make sure her friends were safe.

She is over it, that was about protecting their lives, not a Martyr situation.

Also, you glossed over the fact that during the zombie invasion she was infiltrating the Royals of the Griffins. She wasn't exactly being nice

>>25412695
She was infiltrating them because they want her head and she wanted information without wrecking the place (which I don't even think she got because of AJ and Arana). That seems considerate. She was a bitch about it when it came to defending them. I said she was minding her business not that she became Fluttershy.

>>25412584
>>25412695
Bigger correction, Twilight never vowed vengeance or called her irredeemable. In fact, she was the one who tried convincing her after the fact, including on the train during the fight. She wasn't even angry when she was in the hospital.

This particular case was because she put bombs around their necks. That's not exactly thinking her irredeemable, thats you put a bomb around my neck. Twilight repeatedly stated that she thought she could be redeemed, and that was even a plot point when she praised her brother who was thinking murder murder murder murder murder.

Also the Varry point is just wrong, shiny walk right up to her after the fight and actually forgave her and all that mess. He cleared all her crimes, just because. He made a show of it with 13, but it was a very sarcastic show that absolutely nobody would have thought was genuine. Shiny didn't take any damage during the fight, he could have hurt her.

>>25412730
Incorrect, she was there specifically to steal their poisons, and had said that was her whole plan. She plans to use those poisons to in her never ending advancement. She didn't care that they wanted their her head, she just needed to know how to get to their poisons before she wrecked the place. She didn't even know where they were or how they were made. That's why she defended them when he made the offer at first.