John Green reads first chapter of his new book

he looks like he's putting on weight

does it just say "i hate niggers" over and over again?
Why does famous YA author and vlogger John Green "hate niggers" so much, in his own words?

>>9983775
he looks like his eyes are trying to escape from the rest of his face, which is desperately straining to keep them in place

John Green is probably the most consistent author. His books are always shit!

>>9983812
Yeah!

>>9983812

rekt

>>9983812
Kek, true

>>9983812
xD

>>9983812
haha is this a Norm joke?

>Quotes Schopenhauer
What a madman!

> Truisms

> 'Inspired' philosophical observations

> 'Unusual' observations about commonplace items and (inter)actions

>Unnecessary 'scientific' facts thrown in

Yup. Another high quality John Green novel.

>>9983775
>Aza
>Holmes
>masticating
>Ladies and gentlemen and also people who do not identify as ladies or gentlemen
>grown, if anything, louder
>Star Wars
>Obnoxious dialogue
Classic Green.

>>9983775
the way i know green is bad is that his ideas and the way he writes are exactly how i would if was to just write without thinking

>>9983775
It annoys me that I write gooder than he but I'll never be as suck sess full.

>>9983775
I feel as though he just reached inside my mind, pulled out the brown sludge, and extremely poetically put it on paper. I don't know if I've ever felt this exposed and simultaneously understood in my whole life.

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>tfw i will never be good as john green

>>9983775
Ah! It's so interesting to hear anxieties, and panic attacks, and and all that stuff from a different perspective than my own. I constantly found myself thinking, I know exactly what this feels like, but also this is completely different subject matter and manifestations than my own. (For anyone curious, I personally, deal with generalized anxiety and occasional bouts of depression.)

>>9984557
Thanks friend :)

>>9983775
I feel as though you just reached inside my mind, pulled out the brown sludge, and extremely poetically put it on paper. I don't know if I've ever felt this exposed and simultaneously understood in my whole life.

>>9983775
Honestly, I am crying right now. it's so brave for John Green show the daily struggles of people living with the debilitating disease, OCD. As someone who suffers daily from bouts of depression, i can identify with the message of this book . Powerful, courageous, riveting. xx

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>>9983775
What's my detailed opinion on his work? I can't be bothered to read his shit.

>>9984725
>read picture
>answer no

>>9983812
Why are exclamation marks autistic?

>>9983775
where does this guy find the time to do crash course, vlog brothers, travel, make public appearances, be a husband to his wife and a father to his children, work on film adaptions of his work, and crank out literary masterpieces?

is john green the ideal man?

Anyone have the pastas of various versions of his stupid writing
There is a Seinfeld one I want to save

>>9983775
So this... is the power... of YA... whoa...

So this is the power of sincerity?

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>>9983775
/ourguy/ is back

>>9984944
He shares his wife

>>9983784
he's bulking

he looks fucked up. is he taking drugs.

>>9983976
when?

>>9985227
Literally in the first 20 seconds you fucking mong

>>9984918
they were born this way

>>9985238
did you really think I was going to watch a video of an author reading his YA book for 10 minutes?

>>9985221
He lets his wife fuck other men and that shit takes wrecks a guy

>>9983775
Christ I didn't think it was going to be this bad. I'm trying to watch it. I'll watch it. But Christ.

>>9983775
>You think you're the painter, but you're the canvas
Is this post-post-modernism?

This is so awful and unprofound and try-hard - honestly didn't think it could be this bad

>>9983775
So this is what a teenage girl's diary would look like if it were written by a middle-aged man.

>>9985544
it's the deepest thing I've ever read
I've preordered five copies already

>>9985544
he should collab with rupi kaur. they'd make a great team.

>>9985211
you know nothing

>>9983775
kino

>>9984918
I think it's because it seems like you're laughing at your own joke.

>>9984028
>Ladies and gentlemen and also people who do not identify as ladies or gentlemen
He means peasants, lepers, whores and the clergy.

>>9983775

good god his eyes are beady, i dont trust him

This is really great. Thanks for Sharon.

>>9983775
>"This story is narrated by a 16 year old girl"

Oooooof course it is you fucking hack

>>9985211
>he shares his wife
Do they fuck, like in those movies?

>>9986204
Please be less vulgar, my friend. Just a tip.
"Do they inseminate, like in those movies?"
Notice how I changed the F-word to inseminate. Now you try.

>>9986181
Kek

>>9984518
Apart from the last retarded sentence, it fits the character he's writing

>>9986215
Do they violently defile each other, debasing themselves with animalistic hunger as their cock and cunt come close and lock together with a *shlick*. Like in the movies?

>>9986204
No they lie next to eachother, she being a hurricane, he a drizzle.

>>9986181
Underroasted toast

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>>9986181
lel

Anyone else EXCITED for chapter 2?

I used to think he writes trash on purpose just so he can rake in cash and fuck 4th graders, now I'm not so sure.

>>9988550
>I used to think he writes trash on purpose
He does. Next to JK Rowling, he is the most popular trash ya author of our generation.
This kind of thing doesn't happen on accident.
He has spent his life meticulously combing through the works of Rowling, Meyer, Collins, and Sachar in order to flawlessly pitch movies to American teens in public schools.

>>9985677
kek

>>9989859
Why must you associate Sachar with that lot?

>>9983812
le upboat

>>9983775
Christ, the guy's a one-man-banal-platitude machine.

I feel as though it's bad writing to have your protagonist go into some massive existential rant on the very first page.

>>9990553
Eh. Knausgaard pulls it off nicely. Though he's more narrator than protagonist in the first pages.

This might anger some users here, but it reminds me a lot of DFW. In other words, I won't be reading John Green's new novel.

and what books have you guys written and published, huh?

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>>9983775

>>9990553
Doesn't Dostoevsky do that with Underground Man?

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>>9983775
>all you need to know is this story is narrated by a 16 y/o girl...

oh john

>>9984275
All the embarrassing scraps I wrote when I was 13-16 could probably be assembled into a John Green novel.

>>9986204
by those movies I'm about 90% certain he is refering to the end of 'requiem for a dream'

>>9990916
ASS

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>>9983775

>mfw john green is the only person who is hated equally by /lit/, /pol/, /his/ and /tv/

>>9983784
Ten gallons of semen a day will do that to a twink.

>>9990568
It's like he's trying to do something DFW style but in the most excruciatingly awful way possible without any of the writing ability or profundity

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>>9983775
Obligatory

>>9984518
Jesus that last sentence gave me cancer. My sister reads this shit?

>>9991397
Stop her

>>9991381
>i wanted so badly to lie down next her
oh thats cute
>to wrap my arms around her and sleep
aw
>not fuck
ok
>not even have sex
yep ok
>just sleep
yeah i get it
>in the most innocent sense of the phrase
how stupid do you think i am you big faggot

Reminder that John (((Green))) is a kike.

>>9989933
Because Holes is a popular young adult novel that got adapted into a popular movie

>>9991334
the problem isn't john green the problem is john greens success

If he self published on amazon and had 2k subs on youtube it'd be fine

>>9990931
TO

>>9983812

is this the meme where we all answer a post to derail a thread ??

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>>9991381
>A hundred miles an hor to asleep in a nanosecond
>A nanosecond
>NANOSECOND

How can a 40 years ol man write something like that and still have the nerve to publish it?

>>9990897
He's right, that is all I needed to know

>>9991489
AAAAASSSSSS

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>>9983775
Postmodernism > New Sincerity

>>9991849
But what if instead of using sincerity to outright ignore late postmodern disenfranchisement with disenfranchisement, we use sincerity to express disenfranchisement with the disenfranchisement towards disenfranchisement

>>9991930
I love the concept of new sincerity and what could be done with it.

Fucking hate just about all of existing new sincerity literature.

>>9991938
My greatest issue with new sincerity works is false identity. They often either fall back on irony for irony's sake, defensive self awareness, and other bastardized postmodern techniques thanks to an author's lack of faith in their work, or they retain sincerity in the prose itself but their narrative structure and application is distinctly postmodern and self-centered.

I don't think I've ever consumed something that is actually "new sincerity", only more faux-postmodern work telling me it's not like those faux-postmodern things, which is really the most pretentious and faux-postmodern thing one could do.

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>>9983775
Honestly fuck him.
He so fucking clearly has targeted that book towards the tumblerettes who self diagnose shit, and with deppression thats fine, anxiety too but OCD really?
I fucking hate the inevitable boom of self diagnosers, and all the people commenting "omg was he writing about me". theres nothing cute or quirky about OCD and anxiety. Its not something to be fucking like ugh honestly. I, and this might be hyprocritical to my point, but I have OCD and I walk around twitching and flinching looking like a right bollock its not some rare amazing personality trait, it doesnt aspire affection people just stare at me and think I`m a spaz. Fuck you for marketing and romanticising a mental illness. I know this guy made a video about his experience with it, but that just proves the character is basically a self insert. If he does actually have it then its worse because he knows how fucking bad it is but he will still profit off of it and market the bitch.
I hope this horrible cunt "spirals" down in to his "thoughts" for the rest of his pathetic life.

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>>9983775
>Pictograms of turtles
Figures. Kids love those ninja turtles.

>>9983775
Nothing outstanding but I chuckled a few times. Am probably gonna end up buying it just because of sheer curiosity

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>21K likes, 161 dislikes
>comment section is full of cute girls gushing over him
He can't keep getting away with it. It's not fair.

>>9986110
yep!

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>>9986181
my sides, pham.

Imagine sucking the combined juices of three teenage girls off John Green's dick while he slaps you in the face with his book, and says you can trade places when you get published and have millions of teenage girls buying your work

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>>9983812

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>>9991397
>Just as the Bradys were getting locked in jail, Lara randomly asked me, “Have you ever gotten a blowjob?”
>“Um, that’s out of the blue,” I said.
>“The blue?”
>“Like, you know, out of left field.”
>“Left field?”
>“Like, in baseball. Like, out of nowhere. I mean, what made you think of that?”
>“I’ve just never geeven one,” she answered, her little voice dripping with seductiveness. It was so brazen. I thought I would explode. I never thought. I mean, from Alaska, hearing that stuff was one thing. But to hear her sweet little Romanian voice go so sexy all of the sudden...
>“No,” I said. “I never have.”
>“Think it would be fun?”
>DO I!?!?!?!?!?!?! “Um. yeah. I mean, you don’t have to.”
>“I think I want to,” she said, and we kissed a little, and then. And then with me sitting watching The Brady Bunch, watching Marcia Marcia Marcia up to her Brady antics, Lara unbuttoned my pants and pulled my boxers down a little and pulled out my penis.
>“Wow,” she said.
>“What?”
>She looked up at me, but didn’t move, her face nanometers away from my penis. “It’s weird.”
>“What do you mean weird?”
>“Just beeg, I guess.”
>I could live with that kind of weird. And then she wrapped her hand around it and put it into her mouth.
>And waited.
>We were both very still. She did not move a muscle in her body, and I did not move a muscle in mine. I knew that at this point something else was supposed to happen, but I wasn’t quite sure what.
>She stayed still. I could feel her nervous breath. For minutes, for as long as it took the Bradys to steal the key and unlock themselves from the ghost-town jail, she lay there, stock-still with my penis in her mouth, and I sat there, waiting.
>And then she took it out of her mouth and looked up at me quizzically.
>“Should I do sometheeng?”
>“Um. I don’t know,” I said. Everything I’d learned from watching porn with Alaska suddenly exited my brain. I thought maybe she should move her head up and down, but wouldn’t that choke her? So I just stayed quiet.
>“Should I, like, bite?”
>“Don’t bite! I mean, I don’t think. I think—I mean, that felt good. That was nice. I don’t know if there’s something else.”
>“I mean, you deedn’t—”
>“Um. Maybe we should ask Alaska.”
>So we went to her room and asked Alaska. She laughed and laughed. Sitting on her bed, she laughed until she cried. She walked into the bathroom, returned with a tube of toothpaste, and showed us. In detail. Never have I so wanted to be Crest Complete.
>Lara and I went back to her room, where she did exactly what Alaska told her to do, and I did exactly what Alaska said I would do, which was die a hundred little ecstatic deaths, my fists clenched, my body shaking. It was my first orgasm with a girl, and afterward, I was embarrassed and nervous, and so, clearly, was Lara, who finally broke the silence by asking, “So, want to do some homework?”

>>9994398

Is this seriously in one of his books?

>>9994398
>Never have I so wanted to be Crest Complete
What goes through his head when he writes this shit?

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>>9994405
Every word, and your sister has read it.

>>9994407
Is John Green a pedo?

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>>9994398
>During the week of July 29, 2012, Looking for Alaska broke into the New York Times best seller list at number ten in Children's Paperback

>The book has been challenged for content dealing with sexually explicit situations. Two teachers at Depew High School near Buffalo, New York, used the book for eleventh grade instruction in 2008. A letter was sent to parents advising them that the book contained controversial content. An alternate reading selection was available for those opting out, and a small percentage of parents chose this option. Nevertheless, the book was challenged on the grounds that it is "pornographic" and "disgusting." One parent even went as far as refusing to read the book himself, reportedly saying that "One does not need to have cancer to diagnose cancer." The book was ultimately kept in the curriculum by the school board after a unanimous school board vote. Green defended his book in his vlog, Vlogbrothers.

>In March 2012, The Knoxville Journal reported that a parent of a 15-year-old Karns High School student objected to the book's placement on the Honors and Advanced Placement classes' required reading lists for Knox County high schools on the grounds that its sex scene and its use of profanity rendered it pornography.

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>Green attended Indian Springs School, a boarding and day school outside of Birmingham, Alabama. While he was enrolled there, a student died under circumstances similar to the character of Alaska.

Imagine being this girl's parents. Not only have you lost your little girl, but some cuck published his sexual fantasies about her, and it became a national bestseller.

>>9990852
at least the underground man's writing comes off as manic, this shit sounds exactly like what you'd think a whiny teenage girl would sound like

Does anyone have the screencaps from the thread where people were rewriting that autistic "I wanted to sleep with her and forget the world" passage in the styles of a bunch of different authors?

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>>9994398
>which was die a hundred little ecstatic deaths

>>9983784
hope he dies, I hate this faggot.

>>9992043
Joanna Newsom-- only skin

It's a song but it's new sincerity. I see ns happening more successfully in music than literature.

>>9983775
What's the point of him writing books when he also support mass immigration of Africans and Muslims who have an average iq of 68. The same shitskins who will outbreed your race and will have no use for your writings .

>Ah! It's so interesting to hear anxieties, and panic attacks, and and all that stuff from a different perspective than my own. I constantly found myself thinking, I know exactly what this feels like, but also this is completely different subject matter and manifestations than my own. (For anyone curious, I personally, deal with generalized anxiety and occasional bouts of depression.)
top comment on the video

>>9983784
let's hope it goes straight to his heart

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>>9983775
it took him 6 years to write this

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>>9994398
>She looked up at me, but didn’t move, her face nanometers away from my penis. “It’s weird.”

please, tell me you edited it making it to look cringy

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>>9994398
Jesus Christ this is not real. It can't be.

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>>9994398
>DO I!?!?!?!?!?!?

>>9994437
It looks like his glasses are pulling in the sides of his head.

>>9994407
John 'don't scream' Green
He can't keep getting away with this.

>>9983812
haha dats rite

>>9983775
How do I look this good being 40?

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>>9994398
>10 year olds read this

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>>9994398
>me sitting watching the brady bunch
>She did not move
What kind of retard doesnt know how to give a blow job. Why would you bring that into a conversation if you didnt know how?

>>9996140
Because it's John Green's sexual fantasy to get a blowjob from a seductive, yet innocent, European girl, and follow it up with making out with Alaska in the very next scene. Alaska, you'll recall, is based on a real person John Green knew.

>>9983784
Too many cheerios I'm afraid

Lots of jealousy here

>>9986110
Hahah true, it does look like that!

>>9993775
Are you sure tumblr isn't more up your alley, faggot?

>>9983784
john.. easy on the cheerios

>>9984288
yea

>>9994425
>One parent even went as far as refusing to read the book himself, reportedly saying that "One does not need to have cancer to diagnose cancer."
/ourguy/

>>9990852
the underground man is self aware about that fact

>>9991381
>the virgin drizzle
>the chad hurricane

He looks like Tom Brady's mentally stunted brother.
also
>little sister memed into reading Green's books
>she reads a lot so nothing unusual
>good Christian girl
>tells my mum to return the book out because it's full of bad words
So what she's a pseud, at least she isn't wacking off to John Green smut like your little sister!

>>9994398

>DO I!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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>>9997883
Your sister seems like a nice girl. I remember the girl I loved when I was in high school, and I mean I loved her. I thought she was the most amazing person in the world. She was very nice, very smart, had an adorable little laugh, and making her giggle was the best feeling in the world. And she was so pure, so innocent. I wished everyone could be like her. I guess I was putting her on a pedestal, and when I found out she read John Green books, it was a tremendous disappointment. It wasn't long after that I heard her swear for the first time, devastating me. She said "ass" and my heart broke. I've also heard her say "piss" and "damn" and I just can't see her the same way. I guess I can't judge her, I'm sure she's still a better person than me. It just sucks when people don't measure up to your ideals.

I'm pretty sure she's still a virgin at least.

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>>9983784

>>9983775
Does there really need to be two threads about this hack?

>>9983775
i managed to do 33 seconds
he is fucking insufferable
also schopenhauer determinism?
what is he?
12?

>>9997883
I want to maintain the purity of your sister

>>9998251
Really? I want to taint the purity of his sister. Conquer it. Destroy it. Win.

>>9990912
Wouldn't this make him a good writer
If he can so effectively emulate a reasonably bright 15 year old internal voice

>>9994908
Why do you think Only Skin is New Sincerity?
That's one of my favorite songs
Do you have other examples?

>>9983775
Jesus Christ, it's like he watched a Vsauce video or two, thought he suddenly became a genius for knowing a few facts about human digestion, and decided to make a character talk about it for hours to show off his "intelligence".

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>>9994398

>>9994398
David Foster Wallace knew what he had done to literary culture when he legitimized this NPR voice, sitcom dialogue that veers wildly between jaded sarcasm and excessive sentimentality. He knew that he had created several million John Greens, and that is the true reason he killed himself

I can't believe no one has post /ourguy/ Dillon the Hackers video yet.
https://youtu.be/nlfnY9TNa5g

>>9990834
A couple of them actually.

>>9998588

Reminds me of This Book is Full of Spiders by David Wong, long stretches of the book read like Cracked articles.

>>9986181
Grand kek

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>>9983775
John Green is a brilliant man, and should be president.

>>9994398
saved

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>>10001382
>This kills the economy

>>10001541

>this works in all of Scandinavia

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>>10001552

>>9994398
can someone else confirm this is real cos theres no way in hell this is real

>>10001382
>end up taxing teachers so much for their new wages that their total income is now less
At least Rakish can get better healthcare for the future space mission though.

>>10001800
It's real

>>10001561
Dane here. Denmark isn't the pure Aryan Homeland™ /pol/-fags point it out as. Many people are ethnically or racial minorities, usually immigrants from third world or war-torn countries. Calling Denmark or all of Scandinavia homogeneous is nearly just as gay as calling us socialist. Kill yourself

Why is literally every single protagonist of his a 16 year old girl who's "quirky" and reads books?

More importantly, why is tumblr too retarded to figure out he's blatantly pandering to them, thus concealing his lack of talent under a thin veneer of "relatability"?

I watched the fault in our stars movie the other day and I couldn't stop thinking about how john greene probably imagines himself as willem dafoe's character

>>10001918
It's definitely homogeneous compared to the toilet bowl of the USA

>>10001958
>Why is literally every single protagonist of his a 16 year old girl who's "quirky" and reads books?
Because that's the kind of girl he was in love with in high school, and probably still is.

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>>10001987

How is Salinger superior to John Green exactly?

It's the same themes, same authorial voice almost

>>10002337
Who said he was?

>>9983775
Did he get plastic surgery?

His superficiality has no bounds

>>9997186
>not reading books and then having the confidence only a pseud can have to think you are able to make a judgement on those books
He really is, sadly

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>>10002337
Salinger is sexist.

>I would like to see equal attention given to the sexism in popular work by men, from Nicholas Sparks to for instance J. D. Salinger. Catcher in the Rye—although I like it very much—is profoundly and disturbingly misogynistic and yet seems to get a critical pass both online and off. This happens a lot, I think, with books by men, and I don't want male writers (including me!) to get that pass.

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>>9983812

>>10001918
Well it's going down the drain for the past decade, too. And the paradise Sweden is gone.

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>>9983812

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>>9994398

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>>9998985
Bump

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>>10001382
>thesoundandthefury
This guy is desperate to prove something.

>>9998985
I-Is this new sincerity?

I listened to it. Why the fuck is there so much about what's going on in her stomach and the microbes and cells? That's a boring, weird thing to focus on. That's not even what anxiety feels like.

>>10002673
Why does he think the chauvinist misogynist pig side of sexism is the one which needs more attention? It's literally the tamest thing you can whine about. It breaks no new ground, in any respect. It's acceptable, common, and even /de rigueur/ to think past writing is shitty and uncultured whereas yours is tolerant and inclusive.

>>9990897
Green's been obsessed with that underage pussy since his first book. Claiming to be a part of the "young adult" genre is just his cover for exploring his fetish for young, sexually-aggressive girls

>>10003329
there's no proof currently that john greene is a pedophile (or hebephile or whatever) or that he takes advantage of girls. in most likeliness he's probably just an eternal teenager and those are the only characters he relates to

but this meme that he just writes these books to pander to his perverted fetishes and gain heaps of female fans is really fucking funny kek

>>10000286
that's because he writes cracked articles

>>9998588
john green also has a show that's basically v-sauce

>>10003409

yeah, no shit.

>>10003383
>16
>pedo

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>>9994398
Jesus Christ it can't be real. Fuck God himself for ever creating a world where John Green would eventually be born.

>>9998126
She isn't

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>>9998126
>tfw the loss of innocene
she's not a virgin anymore my man

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>>9994398
>Someone wrote this and thought to himself ''I think I can show this to people''
>Someone read this and thought ''this is nice literature, lets print the book''
>I read this

>>9994398
>this guy got published and sold millions of copies
>you will never finish your novel because its never perfect

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>>10004509
>Write a short story involving a interesting plot with a philosophy moral virtue in it
>Full of references, pacing engaging and change of theme to make the flow receptive to the reader
>Show to some people, they say its cool as they move on to something else
>Don't even try to comprehend the whole painting behind it
>''lmao everybody dies XDD''
>Too passive and dead inside to even bother posting online anymore, so I'm just writing to myself with the remaining of sanity leftover
>Meanwhile cancers like John Green have fame and money by writing pretentious teenage garbage anyone without a spine could shit out

>>9984918
they only look autistic because they are currently on the way out

>>9994398
>DO I!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

>>10001800
as real as sunset squatting in the grass, groaning

>>10004509
inish it anon.

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>>10004538
>Try to break from my comfort zone and write about a boring protag, like the fag from fight club
>''Dude, why isn't this a book about chicks with superpowers? wtf'' my friends who only like to read superhero-teen-garbage shit I write

>>9983775
Honestly not bad as far as teen lit goes.

>but muh cringe
It's for little girls, you fucking weirdos. You really think they should be handed your Nabokovs and your Pinecones? They'd just scream ''ewwwwwww'' and tell their moms their greasy overweight cousin is making them read creepy, confusing stuff, and then you'll never be able to see your little cousins again because your aunt is a fucking whore who never liked you because she blames your dad for ruining her sister's life and she hates men in general, jesus christ fuck you aunt Carly.

>>10004586
in my ideal state, nabokov and pinecone will be mandatory reading for women. men will be told that they are all reading young adult trash so that they may feel superior while they are forced to endure hours of hard labor and exercise every day. naysayers will be punished

>>10004614
In my ideal state reading Leviathan should be mandatory to avoid more liberals cunts breeding around

>>9983812
!

>>9994425
>it's because I don't like living in a country with a bunch of stupid people
He lives in America, right? Fucking detached retard

>>9994398
EVERY FUCKING TIMES

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>>9998538
>reasonably bright
*blushes*

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>>10001382
liberals are the worst

>>9986181
fucking hell man

>>10001561
I'll take "what is proof of concept?" for 400, Alex

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>>10003885
>Americans

>>9986181
I actually did a little chuckle when I read this

>>9983775
The critics are calling it everything from shit to fucking shit.

>>9994398
>I could live with that kind of weird.
good shit

>>9983775
>"yea its part of the look, stained shirts are huge in paris right now"
>chewbacca fanfictions
fuck you

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>then alaska gozzled on my pubescent cock like a nigger on fried chicken nanometers away from her parents
JEEZ Green how did he get away with this

>>9983812
Based

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>>9986181

>>10002581
Truly our guy.

>>10006843
t'was a different time

>Yeah, I throatfucked that Romanian cunt for hours. That was the last night I saw her, though: an 'anonymous informer' tipped off ICE and they sent that preteen slut back to her gypsy shithole. Last I heard she was high on smack, servicing rich British tourists with her gumless mouth- her pimp pried her teeth out with a claw hammer after she chewed a client's dick to red ribbons. Not that I care, though. I'm too busy paying Thai ladyboys to lather me up in toothpaste and pleasure themselves with the toothpaste tubes. When I reach peak poppin' point, I put the Crest Complete over my penis and squeeze, so that the toothpaste and the jamba juice cum out simultaneously. I call it the 'Colgate Complete Climax'. They always get a kick out of that.
I can't believe this is required reading for all elementaries and middle schools in America

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>>9983812
OH DDDAYUM!

>>10002118
Is that a cigarette? In my baby driver?

>>10004575
How can you inish what has no beginning?

>>10008367
miles ahead of green

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>>10010194
Yes. It's a metaphor.

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>>9983812
Zzzzz

>>10001552
There is absolutely no way that taxing your own people for foreign aid will help your economy in the slightest

woo!

>>10000000

>>10011182
>>9999999

>first sentence is a first person narrator talking about how they go to a shitty high school

like are you fucking kidding dude

you have the creative range of a sonic the hedgehog erotica writer

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>>9983775
Couldn't make it past 40 seconds. Fuck you OP for even posting this ironically.

>>10010879
go back to your safe space, you're out of your depth

>>10011182

can you fuck off

>>9983784
cultivating mass

>>10008367
did you write this? Good shit.