Write what's on your mind /lit/

>>9979398
Day of the rope when?

I realised the other day that I haven't felt a strong emotion, good or bad, in years

>>9979471
My man

>>9979398
You should have used a better pic, OP.

>>9979398
RWDS

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I never told the woman I loved how I felt.

It's so unbelievably awful.

>>9979916
I should. But I didn't

>>9979398
sex
what else?

>>9979940
Or perhaps it's because this isn't the politics board.

That cute 23 year old (probably virgin) girl that lives next door.

>>9979939
this. masturbating right now

>>9979398
miss kitty

>>9979982
but maybe she's just a traumatized rape victim, who knows. Who cares. I love her hairy armpits.

>>9979982
>>9980001
Tell me more anon

>>9980018
Go. Away.

My gf just began her cross-country drive to come be with me which means I'm about to have less time to read, fml

>>9980018
waaah waah

>>9979398
how to think of new catch-22 scenarios

>>9979940
>why do they feel so threatened that they must censor us?

This idiotic interpretation of free speech needs to die. Freedom of speech is about the government not private businesses you twit.

>>9980050
>the absolute state of nu-/lit/

>>9979398
I'm glad to be alive, listening to comfy lo fi hip pop music while reading. Outside i can see the calm campus from my balcony. Far away i can discern the sound of the freshmen getting drunk and having good times.

It does not take much to be happy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7TiP4pP7_M

>>9980060
>the absolute state of your wife and her boyfriend

>>9980065
i feel you dude, i just biked across the city listening to the apple music steely dan playlist, when ur an edgy teen they seem kinda "easy listening" but as you age suddenly you realize this is comfy as fuck

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkKo0CelPUs

I just watched the jap movie Afterlife and I realized that my dearest memory is probably about a course on the monologue I took last summer. It also made me think about my childhood, and about how I don't think it was very happy.

What is the one memory you would like to keep after you die?

>>9979443
just found out a few days ago that my friend had done it in april, im just gonna say dont do it man, the pain the people around you feel is going to drive them mad

Sometimes I think I am the only living a life based around chans, literature, other media consumption, being awake and sleep whenever I want to, not feeling bad that I don't do much of anything else. I know this is stupid but it feels comfy.

I kind of want to take a bat bash a /pol/ poster's skull in.

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I'm nearing the end of War and Peace and I don't want to say goodbye to these characters. The novel has had some of the most moving passages I have ever read

I have a real problem while shopping in used book stores. I always end up buying something that wasn't intended. Unfortunately, I don't have the time to read all of these books, but because it only costs a few dollars every month or so, it is easy to spend that money.

Ultimately, I wish I were a faster reader just so I could get through all of these partially read or untouched novels. Then again, that would most likely equate to the same results, just more often.

i NEED to make myself fuckable enough to bed at least a 6.5/10 and impregnate her. it has to happen or i'll violently end my life.

>>9979398
To make this concise, I have been infatuated with a girl in my grad cohort for around a year now. We spoke a lot and got rather close as she is the most relatable human I have ever met (both of us come from abusive background and low SES). Anyhow, we have not spoken privately in many months and I am trying my damndest to move on.
I am keeping up a mantra of how her being in an abusive relationship (her partner doesn't 'allow' her to have guy friends or speak to guys) makes me respect her less as a person, and hopefully I will drive this into my conscious until it fucking sits.
Growing up in abuse makes abuse simply not sit right with me.

I want to write about a person who is forgotten by everyone every month, but I'm worried that my premise is too unoriginal.

Fans said the NanoTo training in the suburbs said. Help me in the Exit team to invest in the Bank among others to make the agents. Get Money for Money. Anne Who squeezed a stupid person. Safe Rollin Safe. Mongolia Convention; Continue with the Warehouse. In Construction, it was not good or good now or with your comfort or use. I know
0ZG startup service; sam ;; 7_e_e-4d / pre (0IDDS) :: close (C: 3) The SAR box provides ads. Once again, ENCELADUS, thanks to your meeting, increases the quality of the game and the talents.

What room for him? Click here to obtain more information. The Turks are amazing. "Even nano" is even better. Salmon White Libong, 58 The Himalayas is a good guide.
What is the penguin, the timber industry, Hanka Gaudir?
Discover original works of art. Enjoy, but I do not care.

It can be a great king. Intertec as EXTCELL illness and bad spirit Asmodeus project; pour on the table without waiting for another search. ISOLA invited me to a meeting. Na6er drug cocktail, flying NOMAD 500 - is not it? I know
D_nss.va3 star Jan Jan Hus, the first screen provides training. Timberinces is working elsewhere at home. The biggest mistake in his life. Improving the cognitive development of education every day increases the understanding of the causes of their country. According to the Kh3R-s0 man.man series, even today is a signal of the king's face showing him body and children. Some Attention Attention....

MARCUS CREATION is Annilys 1, which has been developed perfectly, nobody else can give indult.

Nie Gilles Sedmohradsko Chen? We believe that the next column will be "closed" by Arthur Edotype Apoxox. Gozo, SCI N7g
United Nations Genocide Ozone 55-U.[DD//NmD7-5] (C: 3) Are these songs? Han Gaudir
The famous work of Westend, Veliko Vodka
Congratulations on SAR 12 Tewanie Edition. This movement is about security. But you understand Goths. My good account is a big attack.
But it's a blessing.
brilliant!

Ugh, I don't wanna studyyyyyyy.

Recently spent ten days in the looney bin, bipolar went too far

I think im addicted to seroquel now

I played league again today. its been a long time since i played it last but it almost ruined my life the last time. ive hit a new low.

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https://vocaroo.com/i/s1kX4Be4Lo6q

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>>9981193

>>9979398
Who were the Tuatha De Dannan and where were they from?
Were they Insular Celts? Pre-Indo-Europeans?

>>9979398
I hear a sound of growling, and in the background a crying young girl.

>>9981193
This is fucking amazing lel

Writing poetry in traditional meter is fucking hard. I just need to write a few verses in iambic pentameter to introduce a theme in a long poem I'm writing, but I can't pull it off.

>record non-stop for 25 minutes
>connection failed
thanks for nothing you piece of shit

>>9981122
League turned me into a mouth-foamed raving lunatic. God it's almost set up to be infuriating.

I don't play many games these days in fact...been reading a lot more. Not sure if it's better or what but at least im not screaming at pixels and reading gives an actual sense of accomplishment or growth.

>>9981193
Mickey 7/10
Donald 5/10
good shit

Shits going to suck when I run out of booze five days into the month.

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>>9980058
"it's ok to control thought and brainwash the masses by restricting counterarguments as long as the group doing the oppressing doesn't have a flag."

grow up. there is no difference between state controlled thought and corporate controlled thought. when google censors its just as morally wrong as when the north korean government censors.

It's getting harder to act like I'm ok. Had a breakdown this summer and told my friends about my hero attempt. Now I'm back to uni and I have to play it cool.
Also my ex moved on but the memories still haunt me.

Ran out of booze and I'm afraid I'll become an alcoholic. Refused therapy because they wanted to prescribe xanax. Can't mix them.

At least I can manage 4k words a day.

>>9981600
Allowing the ideas sponsored by the dominant order to flood and drown out other ideas without resistance can be said to be "anti-censorship", since it is giving everyone a platform, and it is allowing everyone to speak, but at the same time it's just letting the dominant ideas remain dominant since the alternatives become much harder to pick out through the noise. To deplatform or to decide to not listen, to have a space for niche ideas does more for a free flow of information than this recent vision of free speech being pushed by people contending for second place when it comes to dominance.

>>9981619
What ch'you write 'bout, Anon?

>>9981619
Xan is better than booze. You should try it

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>>9981622
>at the same time it's just letting the dominant ideas remain dominant since the alternatives become much harder to pick out through the noise

that's just as bad as censoring, though. its hiding information and its forcing the allegory of the cave onto the masses.

ideas evolve, grow, or die out according to how well they can spread, which in large part depends on how much they make sense (in either a strict logical definition of the word "sense" or a spiritual/emotional/fuzzy feelings definition). when you take control over how ideas spread they are no longer spreading according to natural selection but to unnatural selection. the system will still optimize, but it will optimize according to the whims of a board of directors instead of scientists, philosophers, and humanitarians. i want a planet filled with wolves, redwoods, and giraffes not pugs and domesticated cattle.

> To deplatform or to decide to not listen, to have a space for niche ideas does more for a free flow of information
>deplatform
>increases the free flow of information

that doesn't follow at all.

>>9981659
It's not just as bad as censorship, it is censorship, censorship using noise, yelling over me when I try to speak, filling the waves with static when I try to broadcast, pulling out a megaphone when someone cups their hands around their mouth. Ideas evolve, grow, or die out according to how well the people in control of the discussion receive these ideas and how much they feel they deserve repetition. The better idea does not always win, the louder idea wins. If I hear ten hundred times that purple is green, and only twice that purple is purple, then purple may as well be green. The modern free speech activist doesn't really care about freedom or equality of representation, they care about having people listen to them and only them.
Yes, ending the static, breaking the boxes attached to the antenna designed purely to fill the radio with incomprehensible noise is in fact allowing the free flow of information. The over saturation of one kind of information is a stranglehold on information.

>>9981674
I should say that I don't offer a solution because I don't believe there is one, conflict is the nature of conflicting ideas and what it eventually comes to is what it was always going to come to. Who is going to be louder, they, or I, or the third man standing over there? We all have the freedom to try to assure our own vision, the deck is stacked enough in opposition to both of us that the moral answer is suicide.

>>9981674
>Yes, ending the static, breaking the boxes attached to the antenna designed purely to fill the radio with incomprehensible noise is in fact allowing the free flow of information

The internet doesn't work like an fm station. Allowing one website to exist doesn't mean another website can't also exist.

> The over saturation of one kind of information is a stranglehold on information.

Yes this is exactly my point. Did you have a sudden pain of conscience and come around to my side mid-post?

I don't want Google/the state/whoever to only allow one viewpoint to be presented. Instead I would like multiple viewpoints to be presented fairly (meaning specifically not blocking their DNS, not modifying the algorithms so they show up on people's feeds less, not pushing them to the bottom of the search result window just because I happen to disagree with them) so they can be evaluated by the masses in a "more natural" environment.

>>9979936
I did, and it was terrible in its own way.

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today i wrote 4,000 words in my novel, masturbated twice, smoked one cigarette, drank two beers, got high, shitposted on /lit/, and watched a few episodes of rome.

>>9981705
If not google, and if not the state, then you're only left with the mob, the owner of the website, the users of the website. The hegemony of one mob versus the hegemony of another mob isn't a moral argument to me, it's an argument of who you agree with, you necessarily will take sides, even indifference is just submitting to whoever is winning.
This isn't even touching on the idea that some forms of speech will suppress other forms of speech that will suppress the previous forms of speech. An equal representation of these is impossible, by existing they come into conflict and hold each other down. Lets take the hot topic of trannies for a nice spicy example, transphobic behaviour does demonstrably suppress the self expression of these people but at the same time their own expression and cultural acceptance of them suppresses those who would disagree with them, it silences those who oppose them and their lifestyle and their ideas, you put blanchard and jenner in a room and there is no such thing as equality of representation anymore.

I'm a 24yo black man born in America. Still live here. I don't understand why I come to this site that asserts that I am an inferior human, and that I am a nuisance to the world. Years ago, nigger nigger nigger, dindunuffin, etc didn't bother me. But as of late I've begun to wonder why I come here. And more dangerously, I've wondered if they're right. Would my extinction of my race make the world better? When confronted with this, my conclusion isn't to submit, but to just seek pleasure selfishly then die. Become rich, have sex with many women, kill people, party, drugs, etc etc. Indulge in the worst aspects of human nature, then die. I just don't care about anything, so instead of killing myself, I may as wel just have fun. You know?

>>9981742
The anonymity? Not having an identity tied to your posts so you can say things like this without having to worry about tomorrow has always been my attraction, despite even /leftypol/ accusing me of having "irrational woman emotions" for daring to argue that feminism isn't actually divisive. Your lifestyle is a lot like mine though and I don't see a problem with it, you're liking it right? If you like it why is it the worst? If it's the worst, go do something you enjoy.

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>>9979398
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJay0SFYF2g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJVxEaGrHS4

listening to these three at the same time while I reminisce and romanticise the thought of sharing companionship and love with a beautiful woman, sitting together in the shade of a tree line that overlooks an open grass field, talking about a happy future together.

>>9981768
gay

I'm so tired. My headache came back. It's almost 3am. I don't wanna work out. I've gone through 2 straight hours of of pointless recording. I wanna go to sleep but I'm afraid I'll get out of bed to do some stupid shit and not sleep at all. I wanna masturbate but I know I won't find anything good to do it too. God, I wish I had a normal schedule. This whole day has been a waste and I've got so much shit to do.

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>>9981772
Sorry. Listening to background music helps me write

>>9981742
>Would my extinction of my race make the world better?
Better how? Because if you're getting touchy about how a group of people who've been constantly getting a shitty hand by life kill others and so on, then murdering more people isn't going to make anything better. The best thing you can do is not perpetuate this dumb mess.

>>9981768
>these three
>posts two
What did he mean by this.

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>>9981742
You are inherently wrong in your assessment that the people here believe you are inferior or a nuisance. I have yet to see someone calling for the extermination of Africans anywhere on this website, with the the exception of the occasional troll on /pol/.

Your race has a place in this world, and that place is Africa. Similarly, the white man's place is Europe. And of course, the Asian's, Asia. Of course, many, perhaps even I, would make the argument that America is indeed a "melting pot," and has historically served as a place in which people - voluntarily or otherwise - congregated as part of a "new world."

I think the overwhelming majority of people on /pol/ would agree with this assessment. Not even the most ardent white racial supremacist could make an argument for the extermination of Africans, or any race for that matter.

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he was right about literally everything
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5y3a3vSTgPI

>>9981854
Sending the blacks back to Africa would be a genocide. I think we should build a wall, stop all immigration, then work to uplift the living conditions of all the people already here, by strengthening the economy.

>>9982095
>civic nationalism
Hi Mr. Goldberg

>>9981193
The good shit

Everyone is going to love reading about my drug addict pun spitting bug fursona solving the mass surveillance problem

why the fuck isn't kfc open 24/7

I am considering becoming a pilot but I have no fucking money

How concerning it is that i couldn't give a fuck about anything that doesn't benefit me.

>>9982346
you're a neurotic pussy

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Those 'born into it'
It doesn't make a difference if they notice that 'illusion pulled over yourself'
You're not any better than them for noticing it, they're not any worse for not noticing it
So whats left to do
watch youtube videos
forget you exist
to be aware of your own existence is suffering
there are plenty of stupid things to care about and get lost in will why is it so hard for you to find something
why cant you do that

I have a lot of money
I am successful

A permanent solution
to a temporary problem
Is still a solution

A final solution
to a jewish problem
is the only solution

>>9981854
>>9981808
>>9981755
thanks guys. I was hysterical last night. truthfully, I'm just a peaceful guy. and i see instability in the world. it worries me.
>>9981783
what's your schedule like?

>>9979398
Anger is all I feel these days
Everything is going to hell
I am powerless to stop it
Death is welcome

>>9982691
Go on a walk anon. Unironically go and smell the roses.

>>9982727
I do it every day
The smell of the rose reminds me of love
I don't want an orphan feeling
The smell of the port is more fitting

>>9980018
>Cuck

Pmsl is there a word which weak little men like to use than cuck unironically?

Find a new gimmick a new skin to fit it because you are only humiliating yourself with that pathetic internet persona.

>>9980018
>cuck
Break a glass and eat it, sperg

>>9979398
I can't fucking write. I sit and stare at my fucking laptop all day, open the browser, close the browser, cook some tea, drink some tea but I never actually write. If I do its two to three sentences at most before I realize that its all shit and stop. I really want to finish a short story for an upcoming contest but I barely have any ideas and when I do have one my excecution is horrid.

Now, this all wouldn't be much of an issue if writing was just some kind of hobby for me but for some reason, for some moronic reason, it is the only thing I can see myself focussing my life on. I finished a degree in physics although I hate physics, I am soon going to finish my degree in philosophy and I am already bored of that as well. This ain't gonna end well friends. Cya in ten years when I am starving in some ditch, masturbating to the memory of when somebody called me "talented" years ago.

>>9981193
beast

>>9982677
I've gotten accostumed to sleeping in late since my teenage years. Nowadays I only have to wake up early on Fridays and Saturdays when I have classes, but I'd managed to get up at 9~10 like a more or less normal human for the first weeks of this semester, before I got sick twice in a row. I just have never been capable of going to sleep reliably at a set time in my entire life. It blows because I feel a lot better during the day and sleeping in late makes more antisocial than I already am.

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>>9983550
Just write you dumbass. Stop thinking about it and write whatever. Shove your life choices up your ass if you have to.

>I finished a degree in physics although I hate physics, I am soon going to finish my degree in philosophy and I am already bored of that as well.
Ugh, I've been stuck studying lit in circles for four years now, and you think you've got it bad? Gimme a fucking break, I wish I could say to anyone I've got a degree in something.

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>>9981193
kek

I want to divorce myself as much as I can from life and enter a half sleep in which I absorb literature like a tree absorbs water through osmosis, continually.

>>9981714
You didn't read?

>>9983637
I am, I am. Its just hard at times. Excuse my whiny rambling.

How come you are stuck in circles? Do your goals always change before you reach any of them?

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>>9983787
No, I just keep piling up more shit to do and my stage fright makes it impossible to pass finals if I have an option. So I'm progressing no problem, I like what I do and the teachers are great, but even though that's the case I have nothing to show for it in any symbolic manner. It makes me want to just drop uni, get a job and spend my own time writing and reading what I know will be good, but that will come at the prize of shutting myself out of new experiences.

Thankfully things have been been getting better lately, slowly.

But seriously man, write. Leave your expectations at the door and write what you can write. It can't be all terrible, and even if it is, then that only means it's more obvious where you've got work to do. Noticing that you're fucking up now instead of later is probably the best thing you could ask for. You gotta love your work, learn to enjoy changing for what you love rather than wishing it to be something else.

>>9983715
at that point in my night, no, i hadn't read anything. before i went to sleep i did read a little bit of epicurean stuff and a some of caesar's commentary on the gallic wars.

>>9983713
to what end?

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Is writing drunk a legitimate option or a meme? I go ham on the whiskey one night and the next day when I go back to edit the majority of it is incoherent.

Just when I really got back into working out again, and was feeling really great as a result of that, I got hit by this shitty cold and have been out of it for a week. The cold has also made me eat just shit food, which makes me feel worse.

Also stuck about 1/5 into Don Quixote. It has been both funny and a good read so far, but the length and repetetive scenes in the narrative has overwhelmed me. I have heard that it gets better by the second part, but the length has just made me read a whole lot of shorter novels and novellas instead. I lack motivation to complete it, need help guys

>>9983989
Promoting this even ironically is the irresponsible take of redditors attempting to feign their own depth

>>9984100
Wouldn't be surprised at that, I just find that it helps get my mind moving.

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Huh. I think the epilogue to Blood Meridian might be describing an archeological excavation.

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I've skipped out on reading and writing for years. Now I've started, I love it again, but I know I don't have it in me to ever master either.

I know that so many people my age are better than me. I'm not clever like I pretend to myself.

>>9984234
Write young adult fiction

>>9984234
how old are you?

>>9984248
Hmm I guess I could, never read it much

>>9984267
21, so I guess I have time to change

>>9984276
I am 25 and just now learning to write. Stop bitching.

>>9984523
Why so late?

>>9984234
I'm your age, I dropped out of high-school and still haven't graduated. That should make you feel better about yourself

Every now and then, I swivel my chair, take a book off the shelf, and consider reading it. I turn the book around in my hands a bit, appreciate the cover, and enjoy the sense that it contains a kind of knowledge that will make me happy. I lift it up and down to test its weight, and imagine its physical qualities representative of the tangible wisdom within. One trope I'm really fond of is the old man surrounded by a room full of dusty books, and I like that for the same reason. It's a promise of something nice, like a candy bar.

But it doesn't work. I crack open the book, meet all the characters, advance the plot, and -- nothing. The pages might as well be blank, because they don't affect me at all. There's no magic; they don't come alive. When I read Goosebumps as a kid, it felt real. Those emotions of fear, anxiety, and excitement when the kids got sucked into a mirror were genuine. Now? Not a thing. Shakespeare, Cervantes, Homer, Dickens, McCarthy, Hesse, Conrad, Eliot, Hemingway, Kafka, Murakami, and others all about as emotionally engaging as a brick wall. And those are only the ones I bothered to finish.

I don't know why this is. I only hope those feelings will return some day.

>>9983989
It's a legitimate option. You should never go ham, because then you'd be incapacitated. What I do is get tipsy. That usually gets me going.

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Lads I'm 26 years old, in good shape, handsome, have great hair, covered in tattoos from some of europe's best artists, working on a continental philosophy PhD, used to be a touring musician in a post punk band and a personal stylist for Barney's, and I can't fucking talk to girls. I always have it in my mind that I'm gonna come off like a huge fucking creep and that women just want to be left alone. I've slept with a ton of women but never strangers. I had to move to a new city for my studies and it's been a difficult process meeting women because I have this huge block about talking to them. Do I just have to be ruthless and not give a shit about their feelings? I don't know if I can bring myself to do that. :(

>>9984545
Thanks. And good luck.

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>>9979398
Hatred, anger, rage, but also apathy.

>>9984722
How the fuck did you manage to sleep with a ton of women?

>>9984740

Like how anyone does it. Friends hang out with one another, everyone has drinks and gets tipsy, then you just start being charming and physical, then make a move or ask them back to your place. Problem is I always did this with people I had an "in" with and never with strangers. Since i just moved its all strangers

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>>9984763
>Like how anyone does it.

why does my curry never taste like the stuff from indian joints

>>9984773

If you aren't handsome just read Jean-Luc Nancy until you are filled with french catholic Heideggerian rage and you will be irresistible my dude.

>>9981622
no, faggot

>>9984780
Are you capturing young spry Indians with fresh joints?

>>9984788
fuck off, chad

>>9984682
maybe you spend too much time on the internet?

>>9981410
good to hear that its not only me...i played 150 days of game time in a 2 year period though. i should kill myself.

>>9984780
You're probably doing it wrong. Start from absolute scratch

>>9984811
I don't see why that would be the case. My attention span isn't the problem. Even when I took a two-week break from the internet while moving houses and had nothing but books to pass the time, nothing I read stirred my emotions in any way.

>>9982317
owo

"It is easy enough to stand still; the difficulty is to walk without touching the ground."

I think that I am too far gone

I drifted away, I destroyed all I had. I don't know who I am or what I want. I am in hell

I'm a terrible writer.

No, really, it's bad. I can't write anything that doesn't read like YA, but the content is so inappropriate that even that market wouldn't buy it so I couldn't even sellout if I wanted to.

>>9981047

No offense - but write it and find out you little bitch

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>>9985176
>the content is so inappropriate that even that market wouldn't buy it

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>>9984722
fuck off normie gtfo of my board

>>9985118
iktf, hard.

Nobody thinks what I write makes sense but I like it a lot and my mind isn't changing but reality won't change either.

I'm trying to stop thinking that sex is just a virtual and holy act and that should be done with love but honestly I'm getting older and have lost tons of opportunities for this idea already.

>>9983550
get a ghost writer

>>9984823
same

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>>9981989
God was he ever.
I pray that I can have the courage required to make meaningful sacrifices to improve this state of being and earn a noble death.

Why is it so difficult to picture a literature that is innocent and hopeful? Why is happiness so difficult to make verosimile?

The extremes to which people will go in their drawn-out arguments over the pettiest bullshit are genuinely fascinating.

>>9984540
Because I finished my degree in physics first.

>>9986333
Cause we're either A: In a cursed, sinful world which God (almost) forgot or B: in a simulation run by some twisted alien overlords

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>>9981989
Love this man. RIP.

>>9980707
are you rich?

>>9986368
fascinating yourself

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I like waking up and reading this thread with my coffee, like it's my morning paper. The more replies have accumulated during the night, the better.

Losing weight is easier than I expected

The being, being bes, like bees, that the be that be what bee be, therebee the bee, bees be bee be.

>>9987146
just bee yourself

>>9987156
Fuck off idiot retard nigger. Try to understand my post before you post shit.

>>9979398
I've been binging and purging for a year now and my teeth are pretty bad because of it. I need to go to the dentist, but I'm so ashamed. I'm really really ashamed and I can't tell anybody. It's driving me crazy. Tomorrow I'm going to have surgery and I'm not looking forward it.

I have to go back to work once Uni ends for the year. I can't handle it. I fucking hate my job, I cant stand it. I don't just hate it, I fear it. I feel severe anxiety every day when I'm working. I'll be working 5 days a week for 4 months. I seriously can't express how much of a fucking shithole my job is. Every day of uni I'm thinking about how much longer till I'm back at work. I've been considering suicide seriously. I've typed up my note and just need to find away that's quick to do it but I know I'll never have the courage. Counting down the days till I'm back at work late at night makes me manic. I have to put my face in my pillow so I don't wake my family up with my laughter. I have no motivation to do anything knowing that no matter what I do I'll be back to work in about 2 months. I've spend to many nights either crying or screaming silently into my pillow trying to get to sleep. I want to hit my Dad. I want to kill someone. I want out of this ride.

>>9987382
read nietzsche

>>9987382
Get another job (?)

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>>9987382
>tfw such crushing anxiety that I cannot even apply for a job

>>9986393
Shut your Gnostic ass up.

>>9987146
Heidi pls go back in2 forest

>>9987382
What's so bad about your job?

how bad i gotta shit right now

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>tfw you chant om/aum in your mind and it immediately supersedes your breath as the primary rhythm of your experience

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>>9986333

There is no happiness, or anything else, to be found or made outside Pleroma. Logos itself is its own lamentation.

>>9987175
who stung you, anon?

>>9987382
Quit the job, retard. I guess there's probably a good reason for you not doing that but there's probably a solution. Isn't there?

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>>9979398
I'm required to get this book for uni, but I'm flat broke and can't seem to find it on any torrent site. Do any of you guys have it ?

NEET life is truly, unironically master race

every single interaction with people I ever had has been a waste of time and would've been better spent on educating myself in my basement or consuming media

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I happened upon pic related

>>9979398
Octopus hamburger. Never again.

>>9988254
I wish I had an octopus hamburger RN

never had it thought sounds nice

I never wanted to be left to myself. If I had, I wouldn't have suffered like I did for that decade, attacking every possibility that came to my mind, in search of something indestructible. No, I have to say it again, I wanted to be someone who didn't take a step back. I didn't want to retreat or conform. I didn't want intimacy or comfort. To go where there's no return. The movement past resignation. The positive element in this world. That which makes me become more than I con conceive. To be more than your circumstances. A vision of an expansive and unobstructed morning filed. I wasn't wrong.

Some people become insensitive not for a lack of flesh, but for a lack of bones.

>>9986372
I just realised I'm retarded. I thought you meant "learning to write" as in literally with a pen.

>>9984682
To add to this, something kind of interesting I've noticed is that when it comes to video games, I haven't enjoyed them in so long it's almost a nice feeling remembering how I'd play them years ago and feel the same way I do now. As in, I'd pop in some PS2 game and play the whole thing without much pleasure, without realizing that it should be something fun. I rarely got new video games, so I rationalized it as that back then. It's weird.

>>9979398

I am three decades of age, and flatter myself that I might pass for as much as half a decade younger. I have never done an honest day's work, but feel as if I have been wrung through a hard campaign, thirty years in the wilderness, mostly from angst, stress, and failures of my own devise. My neuroses prevent any close friendships from lasting more than a year, so only the casual acquaintances have survived longer. I am filled with an overpowering need for acceptance, which compels me to reveal my true self, at least parts and hints and glimmers, despite knowing that every time I have done so in the past it has driven others from me. My sexuality is deviant, though I like to delude myself that I am not a sinner.

I am not so much a compulsive liar as a creature defined by lies. My Nazarene parents (Laius and Jocasta, with roles reversed) must never learn of my Uranian bent. My artistes must never know of my anachronistic faith (in their cultured simplicity, it is beyond them). My bosom-companions, with whom I share narcotics, must never know of my Uranian bent (they do, and it broke my heart to realize). My Catamite peers must never learn of my anachronistic faith (it slipped out, and they slipped out of my life after, with time not much lamented).

To every acquaintance, friend, relation, potential paramour, a different set of lies must be attached. I lie to myself as well, of course, but being aware of it these are not especially convincing, though I pretend to believe them. I find myself sickened by lies, reluctant to tell them, though now they are more essential than ever. No more can I casually weave a tangled web and send others flitting about at my whim, as I once did. Instead I barely maintain myself defended by the ramparts and towers and stout gates of falsehood. I fear that not much lies behind those walls, in truth.

My addiction is non-specific; no one source of satisfaction need hold my attention permanently. I do not fall in love with that which addicts me; I am instead merely addicted to addiction. Nicotine, caffeine, ethanol, psilocybin, lysurgic acid, dextroamphetamine, tetrahydrocannabinol, methylenedioxymethamphetamine, I require at least two of these to survive but they are essentially interchangeable to me; my abstention from the deadly black lotus (stemming, perhaps, from a fear of needles) is a point of perverse and unjust pride.

I suppose as well should be listed endorphins, released by food or, after losing interest in that some years past, by ever more intense and degenerate inducements to ejaculation, by studying my marginally more attractive body, as the flesh of past excess sheds from it, in the pool of Narcissus, by false romance, by day-dreams of lives I've never lived and never will, by self-pity.

>>9989278

I have loved many men, but never truly made love to one. They have used me like a woman, and thrown me out after, for I could not satisfy the reproductive urge, only tease and inflame it, could not replace the women who had used them, merely render myself a hollow reflection, a delusion born of mutual desperation. They made me feel beautiful and loved and safe, for a time, and then an ugly broken monstrous thing like to be dredged from pits which even the denizens of Stygian depths fear and shun, when they were done with me. They wove my spool of lies into the cloth they wished to perceive and disposed of it like a tissue when they finished, in months or weeks or days or hours, as the whim of each varied. With time I hardened and began to throw them out when used up, but their memories cling and nag and worry at my flesh like rats. The thought of it all exhausts me.

I am a hermit now, by choice but not by inclination. I journeyed into the outside world and retreated, having gazed into many abysses and withdrawn at the last moment before the fall, not unchanged, utterly disillusioned and dissatisfied, craving greener grasses where none exist, even my mind's eye is losing the power to see them now. My ego is dead, but he haunts me from his unmarked grave, taunting and teasing me for the failures I no longer care to rectify, for the attempts I no longer wish to make, for the many lives that I have given up on living.

>>9981742
There's a rad line in City Of God, that like most rad lines in City Of God is probably a paraphrase of Cicero, where he's talking about some inscription on the tomb of Ashurbanipal that says some shit like "I take with me in the afterlife all the pleasures I consumed in this life" and of course Augustine is hatin' like "but he won't get into heaven so jokes on him!" but let's be real Ashurbanipal probably enjoyed pleasures that middle class moderns can barely imagine, and he did take all of that with him when he died since those experiences were all his and his alone. Kinda fucked up that when Augustine thought he was gettin' in a real zinger and convincing everyone to hate this life and worship death, he actually makes you realize hedonism is the ultimate lifestyle, and that asceticism is literally for plebs.

i should kill myself
then all of this would be over
the constant disappointment
the constant struggle to do anything
the constant defense against the inevitable
gone
nobody cares anyway
i make no one happy
maybe i could take dad with me while im at it
thatd be two shitty birds with one stone
i bet that would make you happy sis

>>9989278
>>9989281
I don't want to be you in the future.

I've been watching a bunch of second-tier classic films recently and everytime I finish one it's daunting looking at the rest of my watchlist as it feels five more takes it place. Maybe I'm just not into film even though I want to be. Then again I'm NEET so I have to entertain myself somehow besides 4chan even if I'm only mildly stimulated.

>>9989415
That was cringy as fuck please do kill yourself

>stumble on exgf chatlogs
>uh oh
>read them
>meh

I'm free

I'm finally, finally free

i've been chilling on irc more and more again, now that 4chan has been overrun by nazis it's just not enjoyable anymore. plus, the average age on 4chan just never seems to go up even tho the site has been around for like a decade, it's permanently 19 years old, at least on irc i can chill with some gen x bros, but the best part of irc is when you have a panic attack and are sure you've finally gone too far and the feds are gonna kick in the door any minute it's usually because of something hacking/ddos related not for a fucking hate crime like on the chans, getting tossed in the feds because your ip got in the logs of some dudes who ripped off a bitcoin exchange is slightly badass, getting tossed in the feds because your ip is in the thread of some neonazi who ran over some sjw is fucking wack

>>9990024
bait

>>9979398
/lit/ sucks. who are all these mentally deficient shitposters. summer is over guys, get lost.

>>9990040
>le summer boogeyman
kys

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>>9989421

>>9990048
stay in school useless faggot

>>9989783
What you used to talk about

>>9989783
>still hurts four years later

isn't this only supposed to take like 18 months or something fuck

>>9990069
you gotta meet somebody new

I don't understand why Cliff Notes are looked down upon when they are written by people with Ph.D.s.

>>9990077
especially in the age of wikipedia, actually reading the cliff notes would be maybe an improvement lol

>>9990072
>its been 4 years already

Aight

>>9990072
>>9990099
I havent met anybody new ;_;

Dont want to start a new thread and this board doesnt have a QTDDTOT so il post here

Havent really actively read a book since highschool (am 20 now) but is /lit/ the path to self improvement and enlightenment? must a newbie really start with highschool-tier books?

>>9990205
>must a newbie really start with highschool-tier books?

Try reading a "hard" book and see if it's "too hard" for you to read. Adjust the difficulty level until you are comfortable and then work up from there. Like starting to exercise.

>>9990191
I do but desu this girl still in my mind every damn day

>>9990217
but anon, is /lit/ the path to self improvement and enlightenment? and before you say to go /fit/ i am

>>9990225

as much as any board on this site is the path to anything, which is to say rare scattered nuggets among the dross of shitposts and memes.

do you mean /lit/ the board or /lit/erature in general? the written word is pretty essential to (mental) self improvement and "enlightenment" in my opinion, but I'm sure you could find some illiterate yogi on a hill that would beg to differ. I read because I like it enough that I am willing to read something I don't necessarily enjoy just to see what the fuss is about, or to learn something.

This is like asking for a two dimensional bounded map of Saturn: it just can't fit the bill, dog. I don't even know where to start, so many pre/post/proto/sub/quasi/addenda/hypertext/endnote/asterisked-thoughts swirling around the porcelain up top. The brackish stew runs in a circular line, parallel overlapped with serial circuitry, transitive enmeshed with longitudinal. I don't have ADD, or children, but it is a chore to flesh out—vivisect the writhing contents for taxonomical classification in the form of a pseudo-essay doubledoublechin post.
The catapult is a thread away from letting it's spiked balls loose. I can taste the tension with the hairs on my neck. So many missteps, erased chalk-lines on the hopscotch grid. My ring finger insists on being used (ssssssssss)—time to get hitched I hear one of them say as I recall the blonde-haired blue-eyed belle of my balls from yesternights. Synonym: Gucci. What the devil wear? Poor rich girl, how strangely I long for some lack of dispassion after the passion simmers at a low boil and I let her go kissing the signed DNR. "Never been emotionally hurt by a relationship," I honestly tell her, knowing full well that she knows this time won't be different. And yet it's always different. The hope lingers varyingly, like fickle adolescent cancer in fourth wall breaking countries calling themselves developing unlike their children. The crystals. reacts to sunlight and the oohs and aahs react to the crystals. When does the experiment stop?
SSSssso the first thought when as follows: I'm going to drive to Washington D.C. and spew gray matter onto the sidewalk in front of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave wearing a homemade shirt reading "God Bless America" in red. In my pocket, ready to be extricated will be explicated further reasoning for having done so: not political statement, living just hurts and I don't want to no more. Sad: three cute little letters lined up at attention to salute the gutwrenching lieutenant misery who's not on duty never. The pastiche of a cliche of a spoof on a famous satire is ironically the spittle on the cannoli of my borrowed heart, she says after exclaiming that's what she said (emphasis mine).
Parsley. My first daughter (once self-identified) will be named Parsley, after her mother's inability to parse emotionally neglecting her pathetic excuse of a husband with breathing. LOL, which was first coined on a BBS (bulletin board system) called Viewline in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, in the early-to-mid-80s, that's a (mom's)spaghetti meatball.
How can we stay eternally relevant? Didn't the Greek's idolize immortality to legacy? How can one scrape (or penetrate) the cellophane wrap of sublimity enshrouding our tiny little home, ensuring both spatio-temporal universality as well as contemporarily (unbound) relevance in the aesthetic sphere? Does using big words help, or doubling-down on *ahem* ebonics style language like Young Thug or Christopher Reeve? How can I tell if an egg has gone bad?

I hope straining your brain is just like straining your muscles. Actually, wouldn't that mean you need to stretch before working your brain? How should that work?

Also The Doors are great and their name reminds me I should read Huxley.

>>9979398
Where do you find free books online? I can find anything that's ever been on tv, but if I want to read a book it impossible.

>>9990647
read the sticky.

>>9990711
I suppose that should have been the first thing I did. Thanks.

>>9990727
You're welcome.

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This place no longer gives me...whatever it is that it used to give me. I see and I know, and it remains much unchanged, the inner character or soul. But it no longer touches mine. I persist, out of well formed habit. But it is rote and mechanical. Perhaps it is not that I don't know 4chan anymore, but that I know it too well. That it accomplishes nothing, voices shared but lost in one big noise. I feel estranged but cannot leave. I am compelled and unfulfilled.

I like John Calvin
I wish someone would teleport me to 16th century Geneva

Everyone my age and even worse younger seem obsessed with how 'society' is oppressing them. This is both sides of the political spectrum, a mass victim complex, and it disturbs me because it's like the idea of self reflection and improvement has died a death in favour of giving yourself a label and attacking others for not respecting that label, and this is all done with a air of extreme self-righteousness. I honestly think we may be the least self aware era in history. What happened to looking towards our own flaws, trying to change them and ask forgiveness? Its like nobody grasps their unhappiness may come from within them, and with the death of religion came the death of responsibility for self growth and stoicism.

I just want to meet people who are not constantly at war against the world and some bogeyman of the collective imagination, but actually are thankful for what they have and understand how to look within. The world just runs on completely misguided rage.

>>9988502

Very underrated.

>>9990770
That feel is too real, my man

>>9989415

You're not suicidal enough to gain anything from suicide. Unrequited love for the world is still love for the world. Death cannot open the cage of your persona.

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>>9990770
>>9992640

And yet, we remain

>>9990770
>>9992640
>>9992705
moot made 4chan to train the faithless.

It's hard to accept that my childhood ended with so few memories. I've only had two true friends in my life so far, and it was lovely being around them, but I feel my time is running out for relationships like that. Everyone else is developing and feeling alive, while I'm here wasting away on 4chan because I'm mentally ill. It seems my chances at a happy life are fading year by year.

ok 12 midnight friday morning, new music on apple music, what should i listen to, recommend me some shit, and no i'm not asking /mu/ if i want to know what pitchfork recommends i'll just just browse their "albums u shud listen to this week" post later

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this shit is fire, can't remember the last time a new jazz release got me excited, it doesn't try to be "contemporary" but doesn't try to be a nostalgia trip either, it just goes

I just spent two hours refreshing various boards, looking for a thread of value. I couldn't find anything. I feel like my online homes are being stripped away, and that sooner or later the entire internet will have coalesced into a grotesque ball of low intelligence and normalfaggotry. Online, and in real life, I'm beginning to feel more and more isolated. Is there anywhere to escape to? Do I stand any chance of finding anyone? A shining light in the darkness? All I need is one person. Can I get just that? As I get older, my odds are getting worse and worse. I suppose that for now /lit/ will do. How much longer until this place is completely destroyed? Where do I go from here? Am I really left to exist in low traffic outposts, that can die at any moment?

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>>9995094
holy shit there's a new Living Colour album out! best week in a while

>>9995188
talking about literature with people isn't that fun actually, the only good thing is lecturing mother fuckers on literature, cuz then you can just show off all the shit you read and students have to listen, having an normal conversation about literature usually sucks

>>9980453
when we told each other "i love you"

>>9980453
it's weird, my childhood was happy as fuck

>>9994244

I like the calvinist take on the Virgin Mary in relation to moot. He is like a flour sack from which the contents have been emptied.

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>>9995227
Is true. Lecturing mofos is enjoyable. The best part is that 9/10 times they either completely eat it up or won't speak up.

>>9995272
What's the Calvinist say about Madonna?

What did Nietzsche have to say about the supernatural and the miraculous? I've always wondered this. What was his reaction to things like Our Lady of Lourdes?

I've finally found a short-term goal to commit to, and it's a wonderful feeling. Despite what my instincts would suggest, having a defeatist mindset is certainly enough to make you suffer more than you ought.

>>9988187
what is your purpose?

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People who write:

Doesn't it bother you that the chance of you being published is small, and the chance of being recognised in any significant way is minuscule? Don't you feel that, in a market that is utterly saturated, you are just shouting into the void?

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>Bizarre, drunkard regalia
>Deerstalker leisure tread
>Bastard redneck discourse
>Wrapped in rare bearskin

>Caught up in the gears

>Sip thirty fox holes
>Heavy drinking dress code
>The crab walks sideways
>A shambling kamikaze

>Caught up in the gears

>Caught up in the gears of application (the gears of application)

What did he mean by this?

Call for help.

I keep gettting these mental images of hanging myself with a belt. They are becoming more and more common.

>>9996808

It's just stuff. The contents are not important, only your judgement is.

Nothing wrong with suicide though...

>>9996092
That is not the purpose

>>9997404
Is it more a personal thing, then?

>>9997426
As for me, I don't want to be recognised by most; I would prefer to be liked by people who are intimate with me. I don't know if I'll publish my work someday, but in general I think the greatest pleasure is in the creation itself.

>>9995351
>What's the Calvinist say about Madonna?

The singer?

Learning utilitarianism in class, please help me understand:
>hate my current existence
>kill everybody on this planet
>I'm the only survivor
>this action gives me satisfaction

Since the dead have no feelings, then utility from this consequence is best out of all actions, it is morally correct?

>>9979398
Der einzige und sein eigentum

>>9979398
35% of americans are on some form of psychiatric medication. That number is expected to increase three fold in the next ten years.

My family is smack dab in the middle of degeneracy and grandparents are loosing their minds from the fluoride showers and medication.

Apathy has been looming for some time. A long time, they forget. Nothing changes here. The water is poisoned. The food is dead. Usury has stripped them of their time. The poison the doctors give makes them crazy..... But it hurts.

Walking away from my family is the best thing I can do for my own health. When I get back will they remember me? Will they still be distinguishable from a ranting raving lunatic seen on the news channels. Blabbing about nothing of value again, and again, and again.....

Will things ever just, change? No.

>>9999398
Sounds like a good setting for a Dystopian novel, with a rural setting.

>>9980456
Ya man freedom isn't yours. We own you. You can't kill yourself because we will put you into a padded box. Didn't you get the memo? You're nuts..... Says the lunatic as he turns back to the television.

Do whatever you need to. Fuck what people think about you because it won't feed you or keep you safe.

>>9981193
>2017
>Flash required

Absolutely degenerate.

>>9981637
No, it's not. You're a fucking idiot.

>>9981989
>Based to infinity and beyond

Watching my dog suffer and die has sapped my own will to live. She was my best and only friend. This apartment is so quiet and empty and I don't know why Inshould even get out of bed. I haven't eaten in 36 hours, but I'm not even hungry.

I'm lost now.

>>9982385
THe fact that you mentioned money and success is a sure sign that you're actually slightly retarded. That and your fucking functioning downy face next to a military vehicle....

Stop writing forever.

My name is Hunter, but I don't have hunter eyes.

>>9979398
If you really think about it, every philosophy can be boiled down to "Normies ruin everything."

>>9987587
It's the fluoride dude. Get some sunlight on your bare skin and push through the anxiety.

>>9979398
I'm not afraid of the world ending. For me, the world has ended and restarted so many times that I've grown desensitized to it.

>>9999401
Nope, real life for me and my family in San Diego, California.

>>9999489
Write a novel then.

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Find out who shot her so I can start smoking again.

>>9999448
yeah because anyone who aspires to be more than a shutin in the suburbs is "retarded" kys

>>9999547
So a monk is less than you right? Because a monk is so humble as to not want more than he needs. Maybe the monk is more cultured? Much wiser? I think so.

You are nothing.

>Success is based upon personal goals

Money can do nothing for a free man that he could not do himself.

>>9999491
Was my post good? I'm assuming you liked it.

>>9999558
wow are monks this resentful? sad!

>>9999562
It's pretty good, yeah. Generates a nice atmosphere with relatively few words, and gave the sense of a run-down United States in 20-30 years. I pictured it as centering on rural decay as well, though that may not have been the intention. Sort of like cyberpunk, without being burdened by all the cliches that genre usually requires. That's what it reminded me of.

I'm in a world of shit, yes. But I'm alive... and I'm not afraid.

>>9999398
>35%
>threefold
>105% Americans medicated

I wonder what's at the end of it all. I'm aware in the grand scheme of the universe our lives are so insignificant, it'd just be redundant of me to put it into words besides these.
Why are we here? To what end does the universe keep expanding to? Why were created as individuals? Due to our individuality, we're always in conflict with one another, even if it doesn't seem like it. These questions honestly eat me up at night, and are the only reasons I fear death. I wish to know why, but I never will; how can I, as undoubtedly countless men and women before me have died wondering the same thing?
Why? Why, why, why? The fact I'll never know is maddening. I'm glad I've actually had a good night's rest before this or I'd be afraid for my mental health as I know for a fact sleep will elude me tonight. It wasn't a pleasant experience staying up past 48 hours the last time I did so, despite my experience with droughts of sleep prior to that incident. It's true what they say, the void really does stare back into you. A bit of a side note, but I think the saying, 'Greed is the root of all evil' is a bit wrong. Greed is the root of humanity, and note I don't say humanity's evil.

>>10000114
What grand scheme? The "universe" is a bunch of rocks and burning gas. There's no grand scheme. It is a throughly stupid universe in its base proposition. You're not going to get any reason out of it because it literally can't answer you.

>The fact I'll never know
Don't be so sure.

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>>9984682
I should add that I found this the other day, and it describes my condition exactly. Day in, day out, no matter what I do - it's all the same. And the number of success stories is frighteningly small. If this doesn't change, I'm not sure what I'll do. It's horrible.

It just occurred to me that google can tell who made which posts on 4chan by cross-referencing when each IP/MAC address/browser config did the recaptcha and the timestamp of each post.
Okay so I figured they'd probably have some way of telling anyway but this method just popped into my head.

>>9999932

Poetic rounding

>>9999415
>turn suicidal in mid-20s just like everyone else
>hem and haw for three years, make a couple of half-hearted attempts but usually so drunk just wake up the next day with the cord in a tangled mess or the knife dropped under the bed
>brother starts cutting himself like a little faggot for attention because MUH EX GF ;_;
>sound in mom's voice when she tells me
>god fucking damn it can't do it now
>spend rest of life so exhausted from willing self to stay alive that become pathetic loser shutin

Don't know why but now early 30s and pretty much glad I didn't off myself, literally have nothing to live for except the people I don't want to hurt but for some reason mostly content with living. The whole "it gets better" line always made me roll my eyes, so I'll just say "meh, could win the lottery tomorrow, beats rotting in a hole"

>>9979398
I fucking hate bed bugs. Why do my room mates have to be such dirty, lying bastards?

what's on my mind? Drugs. I can't fucking stop thinking about it. I really wish I had some adderall, benzos, RC psychs and weed. Degenerate, I know. my mind is fucked. I might try to find adderall on the street or buy fluoridated amphs until I can get a PDOT and precription. If I'm on it again I can't binge anymore.

I fucking hate the pseudo-posh bourgeois American upper classes that want to pretend to have a faggy little aristocratic culture because they all went to Princeton and have a collectively unconscious agreement not to disturb the circlejerk. It's actually sickening. Reading the New York Times is like watching a bunch of fifty year old men pathetically trying to be cool, like little kids on a playground trying to show off.

At least the bourgeois cunts of the pre-war generations were self-loathing about their shallow appropriation of the old European aristocratic ethos. The American bourgeoisie wants to appropriate the mid-century bourgeoisie's aristocratic ethos, without even realising it was already and self-consciously a second hand piece of shit.

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Pretty disillusioned at the moment.

The degree I'm studying for is a meme, and the material could have been self-studied in less time. Probably won't even use it.

The internet appeals less and less to me every day, I used to be able to use it as an escape for hours and hours but I've grown tired of it.

Anything I write is going to be mediocre at best, none of my thoughts are particularly original.

This post itself is unoriginal, and if I was reading it I would probably roll my eyes.

My friends, whom I love dearly, are all going to move on and go live uneventful lives. Probably never see them again.

There's no clear action I can take to improve my situation. I've moved full circle from depressive apathy, to energetically trying to fix my life, back to apathy at the realization that there is so little I can really do.

So I'm just going to sit here, drink my tea, and read some Rimbaud. Watching the rain plink down onto my window.

All I want is to live a quite, epicurean life with a few close companions. Maybe then I'd stop being so ceaselessly melancholy.

>>9983550
i like you

>>9979398
I find myself too worried about what my audience will think while I'm writing, instead of creating something that I want to make. I think that's the difference between product and art.

I cannot find joy in anything when everywhere I turn I see propaganda aimed to destroy my country and her people. And even when I find a small amount of happiness, it is almost instantly crushed by the realization that I will not have the life my parents and grandparents had, and that by the time I am their age my country will have ceased to be.

>>10001108
originality is overrated, trust me

In class yesterday, I sat next to a somewhat attractive girl. We talked about class and shared a few laughs, and then when the teacher started lecturing she turned to me and said "I'm Katelyn by the way." And I responded "Oh I'm Anon." After that moment, I felt that she was probably interested in me, so I knew that I had to ask for her number after class. I really believed I was going to do this, so I got super nervous throughout the class. My heart was beating super fast. I got gassy, I had to hold in a ton of farts. I think I even physically shook for a second (it wasn't too obvious I don't think though). By the end of class, I felt that our chemistry had worn off, and I knew that I couldn't ask for her number without stuttering or shaking, so I left and took a shit.

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>>9979982
>23 year old girl
>probably virgin
pick one

>>10001537
Why do you care about your country?

>>10001597
Just talk to her next time in class and ask if she wants to grab coffee sometime. You're overcomplicating things anon.

>>10001755
It seems that those who are apathetic towards their country are the immature, atheistic, nihilistic and 'diversity worshipping' people that like to run their mouth about everything.
It is only natural to have a love for your country and her history.

>>10001755
>Just talk to her next time in class and ask if she wants to grab coffee sometime. You're overcomplicating things anon.
I barely remember what she looks like, also, I get to class right as it's starting so I don't usually get to choose what seat I take.

I'll try if I ever sit next to her again, or recognize her lol

It wasn't a overly bad experience though. I had a pleasant conversation with a woman, so I'm moving in the right direction.

>>10001806
Why though, do you think there's an innate reason why someone should love their country? I can understand loving a culture, but a country is just a region on a map.

>>10001856
Yes goy, patriotism is stupid! All cultures are equal so import millions of third worlders to prove you're not racist!

>>10001856
Countries without meme borders are cultures you pernicious multiculturalist.

>>9980456
>having people around you

Must feel nice.

I'm wondering who got the big /get/

>>10001856

If your country provides you with enough reasons not to want to leave it, then it must be doing something worthwhile

>>10001206

I spend less time worried and more crafting bread crumb trails and inside jokes that test-readers almost always miss so they're probably a big waste of time anyway

>>10000361
update: i got dank weed!!!! :)

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>>9987382
>>Considering suicide because of a job
>>Not considering other options because you're lazy

I mean,i've been there and the despair you're feeling now is result of that unnecessary pression you are putting on yourself.There's alot possibilities to make a quick buck,research.
Also quit your job and stop torturing yourself like this goddamn fool.

>>9995106
Nice stuff, also check this one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VN8zH366M8

Talk to me

They say that prolonged sleep deprivation works as a natural depressant, so I'm trying it again. I must've made it about 30 hours last time before dismissing it, but a new source says it takes 36 hours. Right now, I'm on hour 26 and staggeringly bored. I'd have another cup of coffee for motivation, but pushing 5 cups a day is probably dangerous. So for now, I'm just sitting here. Maybe I'll start hallucinating.

>>9979398

Its not futile, its devastating, and now I have reams of evidence to prove it. I'll spare no one, the sons shall suffer the sins of the father. I will make it right for the innocent.

My sexual paraphilia is shit and I'm shit
I wish I wasn't such a fucking retard
oke das wars tschau kakao

>>10003115
You get off to feces?

>>10003063
dude, when they talk about drugs as "depressants" they mean it slows you down not that it makes you psychologically depressed

>>10003133
I meant anti-depressant.

>>10003144
if i get depressed it usually just means i need to fap, once i get a nut off i'm good

>>10003158
For me, I can't enjoy the things I used to like. I'm hoping tonight I'll be able to experience music like I used to.

>>10003179
you could always try listening to stuff you enjoy instead of the stuff pitchfork tells you to listen to, that usually works for me

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>>10003202
I haven't been on pitchfork in years, man. I've got my own taste figured out, and I still do listen to it, but it's not the same. Songs that used to make me cry leave me with a blank face. It's a biological problem, undeniably. If I could connect to something again, it would be really nice.

>>10003158

This. If I go more than two days without fapping I start to get suicidal ngl

To grasp the shadowy and fantasmal form of a book, to hold it fast, to turn it over and survey it at leisure—that is the effort of a critic of books, and it is perpetually defeated. Nothing, no power will keep a book steady and motionless before us, so that we may have time to examine its shape and design. As quickly as we read, it melts and shifts in the memory; even at the moment when the last page is turned, a great part of the book, its finer detail, is already vague and doubtful. . . . The form of a novel—and how often a critic uses that expression too—is something that none of us, perhaps, has ever really contemplated. It is revealed little by little, page by page, and it is withdrawn as fast as it is revealed; as a whole, complete and perfect, it could only exist in a more tenacious memory than most of us have to rely on. Our critical faculty may be admirable; we may be thoroughly capable of judging a book justly, if only we could watch it at ease. But fine taste and keen perception are of no use to us if we cannot retain the image of the book; and the image escapes and evades us like a cloud.

/thread
/lit

>>10002660

Jelly. no hookup and broke anyway. Blazeit420dudeweedlmaoxdd and I will live vicariously through you

>>10003235
so what? you're a different person, shit that made you all angsty and emo as a teen of course isn't going to feel the same as an adult

> My group of friends of six years left me

Why would they do that? We had fun together, we liked eachother, there wasn't even any bit of drama ending it all, they just stopped contacting me but still are going out with eachother, and it just makes me so fucking sad.

I've been friendly with others, but never really gotten over that bump where you can be really natural with them, you know? I feel like I haven't been anyone for two years, just some hollow timewaster following empty pursuits. I don't even know what I believe in, or what I really want.

I just want friends again, /lit/, but I don't really like people I meet to much. I mean they're fine, but it just feels like something is missing.

God I got sad writing this.

>>10003255
My tastes have changed, but so has my biology. Not in the sense that I've matured out of a phase, but rather I've lost the ability to form emotional bonds with music of any kind. That means that, even at its best, listening to a good song is like eating mediocre chocolate. Just a quick release of dopamine followed by nothing. I suppose it's tolerable in the short term, but these things really begin to grate on you as the months pass.

>>10003286
i think this is partly just the internet floods with so much good music, when i was a teen back when you actually had to pay for each album, one would spend way more time with an even mediocre album just cuz you blew ten bucks on the cassette and wanna get something out of it, so now i have a deeper connection to those than most post-2000 albums, but i think the music when you are a teen always impacts you more, like you know how dads gets stuck in whatever decade they were a teenager in and think new music all sucks, at least you have the self-awareness to realize the change is in you and not that "music today sucks", idk maybe spend more time with individual albums, some of my favorites albums from the 90s took a long time to get into all the songs

>>10003257

Everyone I've met has seemingly had no problem letting me drift out of their life, whether I try to maintain contact or not. They like me when I'm there, but don't miss me. I kind of assumed it's just a convention now, because I saw them do it to other people too, and even saw people drift back into their lives if they moved close by or whatever. It doesn't really make sense to me.

>>10003327
It would've been fine if we'd all just by fate gone separate ways, but when basically all of them keep in contact, I feel almost pointed out. I don't really care about earlier friends being split up, because then I was still in school and cold make new ones, but now I don't really feel like I can in the same way.

It just hurts though because it doesn't feel like I've been happy since the last time I saw them. I don't have anyone to really talk too. I just kinda semi-akwardly blurp out how I feel lost in life to my coworkers, who probably don't really give a shit and just ask to be nice (no I'm not autistic, I'm not making an awkward situation, the conversation's just more honest than they're expecting, I think). I just really need someone to spew bile on, and tonight I guess it's you anon. thank you for listening. I should go to bed now.

>>10003368

I spewed my fair share of bile itt

Have a bedtime-(you), anon

>>10003158
in my case, withdrawal tends to make me irritable and neurotic. fapping helps to prevent me getting too strung out over things.

porn has also caused me a shit load of problems though so it's kind of a rock and a hard place. at the moment i'm trying out a damage control approach which seems ok.

>>9979398
now I feel kind of ok but later I'll feel shit and I don't know how to feel good

What are we, as a species, going to do when climate change makes hurricanes like Irma routine?

Will entire states like Florida become near uninhabitable? Will we try and do something about it or still spend all our time fighting dumb religious conflicts?

>>9979398
I am so lonely, and the worse is that it is all my fault, I either have this shitty defensive instinct of pulling people away or I get anxious and start to act like shit.
I need to change, to force myself to change, either I improve my life or I end it.

Jungle

Speckled creature, what's your name?
I cannot see beneath the trees
Where light of stars and light of eyes
Mingle with forgotten lies
And half-remembered whispered words
Of love, and lust, and cawing birds.
When will they be silent?
When will they let me be?
I have done nothing, I am no hunter
I am no man of axe or saw
I am but a traveler,
That is all
That is all.

Kissy kissy booboo

My life isn't great right now but the drink will help me get to that light at the end of the tunnel. A year and a half more then I get back the soul I sold. Cheers.

Porn is amazing.

I'm not as obsessed with it as much as some other people are, but I still really like it. I realized that I liked it more than masturbation. Masturbation is boring, especially without porn, and my orgasms aren't that amazing either.

Anyways, I've gone a while without porn and masturbation, but I'm tempted to go back to it, just out of boredom. I'm not even horny, but I really want to watch some, just because of the dopamine rush, I guess.

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i have anime figurines and infinite jest on my desk. i am stoned out of my mind. i spent most of tonight at starbucks writing my novel.

i guess the point of all this is that you shouldnt let your memes become your dreams

>02 Days 10 Hours 43 Minutes until iPhone X is announced

who here preordering

>>10003405
are you trolling right now or are you sincere?

i'm not saying climate change isn't real, by the way. it is. and it is driven by corporate greed. corporations should be destroyed and CEOs should be personally held liable for shitting up our ecosystem, the same as if i dumped oil in the ocean as a private citizen.

but i'm pretty sure we've had hurricanes forever, dude. irma isn't "proof" of global climate change. lots of other things are proof, but not irma.

>>10004466
I just want the price of the 6s to go down because my current phone is breaking apart.

I didn't actually have a phone until a couple of years ago and it's kind of scary how much I depend on it now.

>>10004470
>i'm not saying climate change isn't real, by the way.
Neither is anyone as far as I can tell, the argument is all about whether it's man-made.

>>9979505
SSRI's?