Post your novel ideas

A socially anxious man whos exterior personality contrasts largely with his inner self (almost as if hes wearing a mask) goes to visit his grandmother whom hes never seen in person for the summer. Upon arriving she mistakes him for the gardener (as he's half mexican) and he is too feeble and cowardly to correct her. Instead of spending the summer relaxing and enjoying his grandmothers beatiful estate, he spends the summer sleeping in a small shack and doing yard work. He's resentful and spiteful the entire time but is unable to fix the problem by confronting his fear of interaction. I don't know how it will end

>>9973433
Rain is a guaranteed 1-day-long meteorological phenomenon. How much it rains depends on how long goes by before the next storm. The longest period on record (preceding the most ruinous storm on record) was just under 2 weeks. It hasn't rained in a little over a month now, and the sky is getting cloudy.

>>9973433
Because I don't understand human beings well I can only write about myself.

If I were to ever write a novel it would be about an awkward and unhappy young man who learns everything he knows about the world from books and is a general failure at everything but maybe slowly improving as he reads more. I'd like to somehow convey what constantly being hit with the feeling of 'oh shit, that's probably worth knowing' after reading basic platitudes and truisms feels like. I know nothing so every insight is valued and hoarded even if I'm too retarded to apply them.

I imagine that if I were to ever write it the result would be somewhere between American Psycho by BEE and Peace by Eugenio Lobos. Maybe also a touch of our Supreme Gentleman.

>>9973453
>A socially anxious man whos exterior personality contrasts largely with his inner self (almost as if hes wearing a mask)
That's called a 'facade' you goofball

Bumping for interest

>>9973490
Interesting start anon. Where do you plan on going with that?

>>9973453
This should be a comedy, it would be golden

>>9973754
I mean for it to be funny in a way like Notes From Underground is funny.

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A sharply dressed CIA agent is assigned a Blacksite mission to retrieve an HVT from a Russian nuclear physicist.

Things do not go to plan. The fire rises.

>>9973433
In the distant future cybernetic augmentations (i.e. mechanical lungs, eyes, ect.) are fairly common on most colonized planets. On a planet near the out ring of humanity's empire a detective must solve a case revolving the murder of an employee of one of the top names in cybernetics. His leads will take him through a gang of hatemongers known as the Sons of Eden who prey on those that are augmented, and perhaps into the inner workings of the shady company itself.

it might sound a little edgy but the more I play around with it the more I like it

>>9973453
What happened to the real gardener?

fuck off spook you're not stealing my magnum opus

A boy falls in love with a girl. Unable to confess, he is gifted by a deus ex machina with the girl’s phone number. Never minding the strange area code, he immediately calls her, and is overjoyed to find out that she has a crush on him as well.
But, the next day, when he recounts the previous day’s confessions to the girl, she only looks at him with a perplexed expression. After some investigation, he finds out that the girl he called is not the same girl he fell in love with. In fact, she doesn’t exist in this universe at all. She is the girl’s alternate universe counterpart, who has fallen in love with the MC’s own AU self, who too is blissfully unaware of her crush.
Hijinks ensue as the two strike up a deal to give each other their darkest, most private secrets in order to equip the other with the weapons they need to conquer the heart of their other selves. While the two chase their respective loved ones, DRAMA ensues as they begin to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of LOVE.

>>9973804
I do like those boots

>>9973433

my idea for a horror novel: a serial killer, who wants to make sure that the last thoughts in his victims' head before death is a really bad, depressing thought. So maybe he will convince someone that his children are dead...BAM he's dead. Or convince someone that they caused a terrible tragedy, even if they didn't....BAM.

This concept really scares ME to be honest, its like he is taking away their ability to at least have good thoughts before they die

>>9973920
Stealing this idea, also this >>9973490 one

Convicted pedo gets a child of his own.

Generic fantasy novel. The twist is that the main protagonist can hear the narrator and he is in a quest to make the "ghost" that is "haunting" him go away.

/r9k/tard gets an ocd gf
ends up in a hell 1000x worse than what he ever could have imagined.

Half of the book is flashbacks to his early years that juxtapose really well with the shit he has to put up with.

It ends with him autistically restructuring her rituals into something that he can live in and pretend to be normal. He kills himself 5 years after that in the epilogue

>>9973453
This could be an okay prince and the pauper adaption I'm stealing this because you'll just fuck it up and you won't do shit with it.

>>9973777
Yep definitely stealing your idea because your sad weeb shit is boring af meanwhile mine's gonna be hilarious

>>9973926
>>9973754
>>9973453
>A young man surprises his grandma, intending to help her for the summer. When she confuses him with her recently fired living assistant, and he saves her life, she gives him "a second chance to not be deported" and the manchild finds himself doing menial and ever specific tasks as a second rate citizen. While first invigorated, having never done an honest day's work in his life, he finds himself more and more involved in an underground Latin American resistance group trying to fight the elderly.

>>9973433

I posted my idea for Ready Player one in a thread about 10 years ago...After that, I am never posting my idea again

>>9974323
hahahaha!

>>9974322
His grandmother also runs a boarding school for girls who are always having pool parties at her estate, but he is too shy to approach any of them.

>>9974328
So she's competant enough to be a school executive but can't recognize her own grandson? How do his parents avoid hearing about this? It would be better if they were dead..

>>9974328
He keeps accidentally killing them in more and more convoluted and hilarious ways.

>>9974334
She doesn't need to be a school exec, maybe she just runs a boarding house in conjunction with the school.

>>9974338
See you fucked up. She can't be senile and in charge of shit.

>>9974345
I'm not the author. She doesn't have to be senile, just half-blind.

>>9974338
>>9974328
>>9973453
Thanks for the short story idea btw South Park did this better

>>9974349
You don't count south park and simpsons when coming up with ideas. Everybody knows this.

>>9974356
>I'm not creative enough so here's my thrice recycled idea

>>9973804
Underrated post

>>9974356
It's not worth doing if someone did it better in a shorter way. A whole novel of this would be boring as fuck if it wasn't hilarious.

>>9974363
>this would be boring as fuck if it wasn't hilarious.
that's the thing, isn't it

In a 800's low fantasy European setting, an ice age is beginning it's onset. Starvation from failing crops and the cold itself forces people in the north to migrate south, which southerners aren't too pleased about. The protagonists are just trying to stay alive while avoiding forcible conscription into a northern sun-crusade, the perils of travel and pissed of locals in foreign lands.

It'll explore the human condition.

>>9974370
Pretty original for the setting. I like your taste, anon. What kind of research are you doing?

>>9974374
I'm fairly interest in wilderness survival and historical craftsmanship which is why I'd like to write a story with lots of that. I know how to make soap, prevent scurvy, clean/dress wounds, find food and make shelter with extremely basic resources. And I have a basic understanding of combat and warfare of the time period.

Barely know anything about actually writing though.

>>9974370
>>9974392
Almost was gonna steal this one but sounds like too much research

>>9974392
Nice, well good luck anon. Write what you like and how you want it to be read!

>>9974396
This is part of why I like this idea. No one will take it because they're too lazy to make it any better.

Idea anob you're on a true novelist path.

Chairs, once our friend, suddenly take over the world and force all humans to sit in them or die. Into this comfortable world a lone man is thrust without a chair to sit on. No one understands him. Will he be able to handle loneliness and challenge the odds?

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>>9974401
That's nice of you anon. I think I would also like to feature some (real-world functional) mechanical curiosities in a not-greek part of the world. Like a naval battle between longships and windmill-powered triremes that can sail against the wind.

>>9974029
bet! I'll make sure mine gets out first then :)

>>9973433
A man turns himself into a pickle, the title is "Pickle Rick"

you come out of your mother's belly as an 18yo, killing her

>>9973804

I'd tell you to fuck off to /tv/ but that's clever

>>9977326
Space opera where scientists have figured out remote communication and perhaps more importantly energy transfer through quantum entanglement. This eventually results in an ever growing constellation of solar panel satellites orbiting the sun and providing infinite power for earth. Space ships have thin plates with atoms bound to atoms on these satellites (distributed among as many of them as possible so the loss of any one satellite won't really harm anyone) and use all that heat to power on-board systems as well as MPD thrusters for long voyages.

Time skip to when the first interstellar colony-preparation probe comes upon aliums and they destroy it and what it's built. This leads to war with both sides having technology the other side hadn't even imagined.

>>9973920
Sounds like Deus Ex: Human Revolution but in spaaaaace.

>>9977365
shit lol
is it any good? never got into Deus Ex bc I heard they were trash

A group of friends are casually smoking weed in the basement. One of them cuts a fart which manages to rip open a whole in the space-time continuum. They are transported to another dimension, and must find a way back home.

>>9977724
only the first one is good. literally predicted the police stat, nature of internet censorship relating to political correctness, genetic enhancements, etc

The singularity enslaves humanity. First half is narrated by the roboGod. The second half is narrated by someone who is born into slavery.
Everybody dies in the end

going to publish a geological history of maritime migrations in the pacific

man you guys are mentally children

>>9977724
First one is excellent, second was a disappointment relative to the first but still better than 90% of games that came out the same time, and the third one is good but could have been great if not for a couple of flaws.

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>>9977799

An Amish man going on his Rumspringa and entering a spiral of degeneracy.

>>9974065
does it read like batman and robin?

>>9974072
crazy
i like it
how would you do that?

>>9974328
moar plz

>>9974014
0/10

Man talks to himself for a while then kills himself
It'd just be an essay really

the scooby gang's secret sex life
also, disney princess porn

>>9974080
I would prefer if she heals him and he heals her, and they live happily ever after.

>>9973433
Life aboard Earth's first extra-solar colony ship gets pretty awkward when the crew discovers that their various homelands have gone to war against each other. The ship ends up being carved up like a microcosm of geopolitics, with a few "Neutrals" being permitted to keep the ship running while everyone else wages a redundant war. The protagonists is a "Neutral" that's been bumped from the lowly position of elevator technician to Chief Engineer. He has to barter his way through the mess of barricades shooting galleys that is the secondary hull, in order to save the ship from a catastrophic system's failure.

Most y'all niggas need some weed or pussy or something damn

>>9973433
I'm not nearly a good enough writer to really make use of it.

But I thought doing a poetic epic in the tradition of something like the Odyssey or Eugene Onegin but making use of the every-day wage-slave would be interesting.

Make that obvious fictionalized connection between fantastical mythological battles and shitty every-day life most people inevitably have to go through.

>>9978326
yeah that's the fake pre-epilogue ending
they're heavily scarred, but it seems like maybe they can slowly start to heal
>a gunshot wakes the ocd girl up
>she checks to see what it was
>she finds his brains splattered all along the wall and floor
>she completely reverts into a neurotic ocd ritualistic whatever the fuck
>obsessively deals with the situation in a really unhealthy way
>stuck in a loop
>fade to black
>roll credits
>slowed down version of climax theme plays
>cinema lights slowly turn back on
>you check your phone
>your friend says "yep, I DEFINITELY have ocd"

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A dramatised account of contemporary r9k level autism, from a the protagonists early childhood up until his suicide in his early 20s. I already have some of the main chapters, one where he suffers an isolation induced breakdown and makes friends with a ghost in an abandoned part of his campus and experiencing his first semblance of a human relationship, it will be ambiguous whether they were an actual person, or a ghost, or just a stress hallucination. Its really bad btw

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>keep writing notes about the themes of the story, the structure of the plot, and the nature of the characters and all this shit
>have only written like two chapters down so far
At this point, I think I'm merely enamored by the idea of a novel, not the actual writing of one.

lol at least one is going somewhere because I can do it better thanks guys

>>9978497
okay I think for the final "stuck in the loop"...

>she keeps wiping the same spot on the floor
>clockwise, pushing brain bits around
>she can't stop due to the stress + grief
>she can't call 911

END CREDITS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbckIuT_YDc

>>9978537
That's still a lot more than me
I literally just made some shit up to contribute to this thread
It's been fun though :')

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>>9978494

>>9978494
Isn't that Ulysses?

>>9973433
I want to write a novel where the whole book is just the preface and there's no real story

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A lone NEET is diagnosed with a terminal case of wanker's cramp, the deadliest of British diseases. He swears vengeance against the Jews who brainwashed him with pornography. Our lone hero must go out into the world, evading the various foreigners residing in his country and fighting terrorists. He must build up an army capable of building an empire. A harrowing tale of a hero who must fight the enemy within.

> set ~500 years in the future and humanity has colonized the entire solar system, however has not discovered faster than light travel yet
> tensions between America, Russo-China, and the Kingdom of South Africa boil into basically space ww3 after South Africa fakes an assassination on russo-chinese emperor, blaming it on America
> a couple years later, America is losing the war, the president and vice president were both killed. The speaker of the house, Anthony Doe, escapes the country and is on the run as a fugitive; first to the underwater city of Pacifia, then the lunar city of Lunaris, then being captured by space pirates and being sold to the republic of Pluto
> sidenote: Pluto remained neutral in the war so there is no real reason Pluto would want Doe
> after being sold to pluto, they reveal the reason for buying him: the plutonians worship an unknown alien civilization, the Ayona, and are planning to assimilate humanity into their alliance made up of 15 other alien species. (Think of the covenant from halo, but their motives aren't really religious)
> the ayona want humanitys willing cooperation for assimilation, however know that would be impossible without support from a world power. The ayona offer to aid America in space ww3, in return America must become a semi-autonomous region in the ayona
> doe accepts deal and ww3 is soon over
> ayona set up multiple alien colonies in the solar system, and 1 million human colonists settle in the ayona capital: New Veritas.
> after a couple years the autonomy of America is deteriorating and the ayona show their true colors: the ayona are basically alien version of Soviet russia×100 more totalitarianism
> additionally diseases are rapidly spreading between the different species (sort of like when Europeans met the natives)
> the diseases eventually break out in New Veritas, killing the ayona leader
> a proxy election is formed to replace him in which the two major contenders are a dere'dama and a qovaki (two alien species) the qovaki wins. Tensions arise as the qovaki hold most to all major offices and are largely oppressive.
> the new leader decides to burn down the vonari caves, which is a center for the dere'daman religion, believing them to be a catalyst for the spread of disease.
> the leader of the dere'dama convinces Anthony Doe to rebel along with two other alien races (the vräthe and j'larkla)

And that is about as far as I have gotten, can't really figure out how to end it

>>9978614
If you did this well that could be a great novella a la Calvino. The author spends the whole 'book' justifying the existence and necessity of said book without actualy writing it. You would never get that published without writing someone successful first, though. It could be a hilarious long essay: "Why You Should Read This" and by the end he decides not to write it.

>>9978591
I've only read about the first 5th of Ulysses but Im familiar enough with it to know that its pretty similar.

But the circumstances are somewhat different and the style. Ulysses is a student, the setting is distinctly Irish, and the time period is fucking ancient by comparison.

It'd be less about parodying the Odyssey specifically and more about using the Epic form ironically for the inanity of "the daily grind".

Hell, it may not be original but at least I could take solace in the fact that I had an idea that James Joyce followed through on.

>>9974346
A great way is to nake her a co-owner and get money from it, but she doesnt actually do shit. The money from many estates she has has helped her son and granchildren have a good education where they can make a lot of money without doing manual work. But because she is now old she just gets her paychecks and lives in her huge house with help, could make it so that her and her husband were very strict and distant and she treats people like that still but the gardener/grandson ended up getting pretty close to her?