!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Isn't she rich enough?!

>>9953554
She wants the spotlight

>>9953556
why doesn't she just write short stories or something taking place in the HP universe? Or better yet, publish a collection of fan fictions, have the authors sign a contract saying they won't get any of the money because its just to promote them. People would love that shit

it's actually pretty cringey

>>9953544
Hard to stop dat income

File: The_Casual_Vacancy.jpg (21KB, 254x393px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 254x393px

I wish she'd write more actual literature like pic related

sadly the UK is so starved of good art people think wizard meme books for kids are high literature

>>9953544
Is this the "Boruto" of literature?

Harru Potter and the Mountai of SHIT

Hermione dialog
>SO YOU BE SAYIN' THAT
*smacks lips*
>Y'ALL SAYIN THAT WE
*eats melon*
>HOL' UP
*steals broom*
>WE WUZ WIZARDS AND SHIEEET?

>>9953544
YAAAASSSSS

>>9953633
Hermoine is secretly the Lauren Southern of HP universe, just a mudblood nationalist...

>>9953544
>Harry Potter And The Reason Why Punching Nazis Isn't Fascism
>Harry Potter And The Transgender Bathroom
>Harry Potter And The Poor Immigrant Who Totally Isn't A Saracen
>Harry Potter And The Words That Should Be Banned
>Harry Potter And The Order Of The Marxists
>Harry Potter And The Videogames That Make You Rape Women
>Harry Potter And The Half-Blood World

>>9953694
ebin

>>9953679
Hermione is a African woman of sassy descent. Your analogue of her being a "mudblood" is the equivalent of ethnogenocidal rhetoric and is highly problematic.

>>9953694
upboated

>>9953694
I laffed

>>9953694
>>Harry Potter And The Order Of The Marxists
fyi rowling is a radical centrist

>>9953694

I'm more parcel to Harry Potter and the Fashy White Ethnostate.

>>9953606

You might be the first person I've encountered to praise Rowling's post-Potter work.

>>9953606
she wrote a book about her general mind-state?

>>9953984
Vacancy is decent, and first two detective stories are good. Just stay far away from the third one. It's filled with man are bad stereotypes, and it's poorly written on top of it.

>>9953937
>Pro mass immigration
>radical centrism

>>9954058
Just like Hillary!

>>9954058
economic liberalism is pretty much dead centre

>>9954058
>>9954069
Borders are stupid. Even the fucking Economist agrees.

>>9954093
Yeah, there's only one race, too - the human race.

>>9954092
Economic liberalism is far right, you absolute imbecile.

A political compass tends to be full marxism (left) to full open market (right) on the x-axis, and full authoritarianism (top) to full anarchy (bottom) on the y-axis.

>>9954100
And here I thought it was the 200m free style and that Phelps got the record when he beat that Chinese shark on live TV

>>9953544
ah yes, rowling, the female christopher moore.

>>9954093
>The publication belongs to the Economist Group. It is 50% owned by the English branch of the Rothschild family and by the Agnelli family through its holding company Exor
Imagine my shock

>>9953984

it's good but it has an element of her trying too hard to be a grown up writer

I also feel like it might be difficult for non-brits to understand

>>9954117
4chan is owned by moot, not the Rothschilds

>>9954128
>4chan is owned by moot
Fuck off back to ribbit already. You don't know what you're talking about.

>>9954128
moot sold 4chan to some jap, which is why the quality has gone to shit in the last year or so, new owner is trying to reverse declining traffic trends and in doing so flooded with teh newfags

>>9953663
SLAAAAY

>>9954128
What the fuck are you gibbering on about? Can you not even read quoted post?

File: fb7.gif (186KB, 200x269px) Image search: [Google]

186KB, 200x269px

>>9953544
No no no NO NO FUCK NOOOOOOOOOO

Reddit, stay off of my GODDAMN BOARD

REEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>9953694
Topkek

>>9954134
but ribbit is owned by the frogschilds
>>9954135
do the japanese have rothschilds?

>>9953544
>Harry Potter and Ginny have become estranged. Ginny is growing increasingly concerned with the large influx of untrained, unskilled, and radical uncouth sorcerers who have been migrating in great numbers due to the rise of Radical Sorcerism stemming from the east recently. These radicals believe that sorcery is the one true way of magic with Solomon as their prophet. As a result, England has seen a drastic increase in magical crimes, including, but not limited to, heavy reliance on the Dark Arts. Ginny is concerned that their son will grow up in a society which will allow these sorcerers to take power and eventually kill off any 'moderate' or pure-born wizards and witches.
>Harry, now a powerful member of the Ministry of Magic, has proposed to increase the numbers of migrants in hopes that he can train, integrate, and transform the sorcerers into functional members of wizard society.
>Hermoine is now an ambassador for Muggle and Migrant relations. Ron has been killed in a drive by Dark Arts attack by Sorcerer Extremists. Moved by the plight of the migrants, she blames herself and the immigration and Magical Imperialist policies of England for the rise in Sorcerer Extremism. She plays a major role in integrating policies which increase the number of sorcerer migrants.
>A famously rich and powerful wizard by the name of RONALD RUMP is concerned with the well-being and cultural stability of the Wizards and England and begins to run for a position of Prime Minister on the platform of halting immigration, bringing back outsourced wizarding jobs to England, and increasing strict immigration policies. Umbridge serves as his Campaign Manager
>Ginny supports Rump, but Harry finds him deplorable as a muggle-hating, racist, bigot, sexist, homophobe.

>>9954357
>Ginny and HP eventually separate. Harry can't be married to a Mugglephone, racist, sexist, misogynist. This allows Harry to reunite with Hermoine, the woman he always truly wanted but never could bring himself to go after on account of Ron's love for Hermoine.
>Meanwhile, Albus Potter, still a student at Hogwart's, now attends a very different Hogwarts.
>Hogwarts has gone away from teaching traditional Magic, instead choosing to integrate sorcerer techniques and switching their history courses to fit the narrative of England and Hogwarts as vehicles of systematic oppression. Traditional wizard heroes such as Merlin are now viewed as racist supremacists who systematically oppressed Sorcerers and muggles. The Houses are disbanded, as they created inclusive cliques which discouraged multicultural understanding and promoted xenophobia. There remain traces of the houses at Hogwarts such as the halls and portraits, with the exception of Slytherin, of which all traces have been expunged and/or destroyed.
>Albus befriends a migrant sorcerer named Migra Din’du Noofin, a humble but gifted female sorcerer.
>Ginny and HP fight for custody, with Ginny winning the rights.
>Ginny becomes increasingly radical, and she brings Albus along for the ride. Albus, due to his relationship with Migra, is torn between his mother’s rhetoric and the sweet innocence of Migra.
>Rump wins the election and begins to implement his plans
>Under the direction of Draco Malfoy, who is now the head of the Immigration Enforcement Agency (newly created by Rump), migrants are rounded up by the thousands. They are routinely raped, beaten and murdered by pure-born wizards and witches.
>Meanwhile, Hermoine and Harry decide to form another secret army, this one now called Solomon’s Soldier’s in an effort to stand in solidarity to the oppressed migrants.
>Solomon’s Soldier’s attract the attention of many radical sorcerers, who advocate the use of Dark Arts to advance their ends.

>>9953544
"god money I will do anything for you"

>>9954361
>Hermoine and Harry, though initially weary of the prospect, come to agree that the Dark Arts are perfectly acceptable Magical Arts, their reputation marred by centuries of Pure-Born supremacy and oppression.
>Albus eventually sees the error of his mother’s ways, and runs away with Migra to elope. He eventually goes to Harry and Hermoine, who accept them with open arms.
>Migra’s family is also taken in. Migra’s father and brother eventually rape Hermoine, but Hermoine doesn’t blame them for it and even believes it to be an enriching experience. Harry offers his asshole up to them in a gesture of good will, but is instead beaten as a sodomite, which he quickly blames himself for as a result of not being sensitive to their culture.
>A Ministry Summit is called to discuss the growing immigrant problem. Harry and Hermoine are in attendance and Harry’s scar again begins to burn painfully once Rump takes the podium.
>Harry is now convinced that Rump is Voldemort re-incarnate and informs Hermoine and Solomon’s Soldier’s about his suspicion.
>Rump labels Solomon’s Soldier’s a terrorist organization, and allows any and all members of Solomon’s Soldier’s are to be shot on-site.
>This leads to widespread and systematic murder at the hands of Malfoy’s Immigration Enforcement Agency, as families, neighbors, and people of all types begin killing each other in large numbers, defending themselves legally by claiming the victim was a member of Solomon’s Soldier’s.
>As part of his ongoing efforts to oppress people, Rump plans a visit to Hogwarts to restore the house traditions and restructure the curriculum to it’s original intent.
>Harry, Hermoine, and the Solomon’s Soldier’s agree that Albus and Migra have a unique opportunity to end the Rump regime.
>They convince Albus and Migra to utilize the Avada Kedavra curse while Rump speaks at Hogwarts.
>They return to Hogwart’s with the assistance of McGonagall, who is also a member of Solomon’s Soldiers

>>9953608
yes. I think so, I can't think of another example that was for kids and as famous

>>9953544
>>9953663
TUMBLR.
GO FUCKING BACK.

>>9954368
>The plot is simple, kill Rump and have the Solomon’s Soldiers waiting outside of Hogwarts to enact the coup. Meanwhile, another contingent of Solomon’s Soldier’s will attack the Ministry of Magic at the same time.
>As Rump speaks, Albus uses the Death spell to kill him on-site. Before dying, Rump transforms into the visage of Voldemort before dying in agony, thereby confirming Harry’s suspicions.
>At that moment, the Solomon’s Soldiers infiltrate Hogwarts and enact the coup.
>The Solomon’s Soldier’s outside the Ministry of Magic use a combined spell to blow up the Ministry, killing all inside.
>The coup is successful and the Solomon’s Soldier’s set up a new government under the banner of Solomon.
>All Rump supporters and sympathizers are rounded up and killed. The borders are erased and England becomes the new center of Sorcerer culture, from which they begin to expand their power under the single rule of the Sultan of Sorcerers.
>Ginny, rounded up as a Rump supporter, is brought to Harry for final judgement. Harry tells them to do as they wish with her in an echo of Pilate’s indifference—pure pottery. Ginny is then taken to the Sultan to serve as a concubine and is routinely raped on a daily basis.
>Hermoine convinces Harry that in order for a more peaceful society to flourish, she must breed with the Sorcerer’s. She goes on to bred 15 mixed muggle and sorcerer babies. Harry never has sex with her again, consumed by the guilt he has for being a pure-born Wizard.
>Albus serves as a commander in the Sultan’s army. Migra is taken from him to serve alongside Ginny as one of the Sultan’s concubines.
>The final novel ends with the descendants of Albus and Hermoine’s progeny getting sent to the ruins of Hogwarts—now aptly called the Center of Magical Understanding, where only sorcery is taught.

>>9954357
>>9954361
>>9954368
>>9954376
There's your plot summary for these books.

Cap it..it'll be eerily similar to this.

>>9954371
Harry Potter used to be the most discussed book here when the board first started. Thank god we turned into a more traditional literature board that only complains about pop books.

File: IYfWeYE.jpg (95KB, 1200x502px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 1200x502px

>>9953694
let us not forget the dark horse of the series harry potter and the final solution followed by harry potter and ghostwriters of rita skeeter

>>9954381
the lack of creativity, inspiration, and originality in your allegory is embarrassing

>>9954403
>the lack of creativity, inspiration, and originality in your allegory is embarrassing

Considering I'm predicting a Rowling story, why would you expect anything less?

>>9954397
If you ever have the chance, livestream that movie with /pol/. The movie is shite, but the couple of /pol/ livestreams of it I've been in have been fun as fuck.

>>9953564
>HP fan fictions
finally, the definitive edition of "my immortal" published by Bloomsbury

>>9954093
>The Economist
Left leaning pseudo-market analysis which is really just political propaganda.

>>9954405
Fair enough.

Where's the fucking copypasta?

>>9954434
I saw it interdependently. It was meh and I failed to see why they picked his character to go undercover

>>9954093
Why do you hate diversity?

>>9953544
T-thanks capitalism. I'll be sure to buy two copies.

>>9954482
All communication is normative.

>>9954611
I hate the Rothschilds

>>9954587
>>9954587
I saw it on /v/ a minute ago and more than half of them replied seriously to it

Hopefully this will be the watershed moment where those who grew up reading Harry Potter decide to pick up these books and—no longer being children—see how mediocre of a writer Rowling is, realize the past books were the same, and the entire harry potter phenomenon dissipates like fog in the morning sun.

>>9954844
Like that time everyone on /lit/ read Moby Dick and discovered that they didn't actually understand or even enjoy it because they were idiots.

>>9953633
jej

File: image.jpg (1MB, 1616x2896px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1616x2896px

You can't really expect artistic integrity from the writer for one of the dullest franchise in the history of game franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>>9954103

>A political compass

is an invention of the internet that has no bearing on the truth.

>>9954844
I've read joyce, tolstoy, eliot, proust, pound, crane, nabakov, etc and recently re-read the whole harry potter series and no, that will never happen.
You are a pseud.

File: h'rmionay.jpg (240KB, 2048x1536px) Image search: [Google]

240KB, 2048x1536px

>>9953633
Ayy

File: laugh_data.jpg (60KB, 736x552px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 736x552px

>>9954368
>Migra’s father and brother eventually rape Hermoine, but Hermoine doesn’t blame them for it and even believes it to be an enriching experience. Harry offers his asshole up to them in a gesture of good will, but is instead beaten as a sodomite, which he quickly blames himself for as a result of not being sensitive to their culture.

>>9955051
Image needs more subtlety

File: the_new_Harry_Potter.jpg (2MB, 1340x1360px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1340x1360px

>>9954381
I laughed my ass off, here you go.

it will not-so-subtly reference modern events
calling it

They're not new books, they're essential art books for a museum exhibit on papers. The second one is just an abridgment aimed at little kids. And it doesn't seem like she wrote much if anything for them

b-b-b-but it's called hp & the philosopher's stone

>>9954357
>>9954361
>>9954368
>>9954376
good text, allowed myself to give a small and nearly inaudible giggle

File: 1494379043379.jpg (36KB, 600x582px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 600x582px

>>9953544
TWO

File: hari poter.jpg (677KB, 1280x4000px) Image search: [Google]

677KB, 1280x4000px

>>9953544
fug we will need to update the chart again