bookstore cringe stories

Haven't been in a book store. I just send my mum in to get the books I want.

>>9943330
No need to get mad sweetie.

>>9943334
I wasn't there to buy books I was only killing time. I download free .epubs to my Kindle when I want to read something

I was in the fiction section which was close to the anime one and then I heard this teenage girl saying out loud "Wow! Look! Attack on titan!" or something like that to her dad.

>>9943399
Ops I meant manga, too tired

File: 1501765312506.png (359KB, 486x463px) Image search: [Google]

359KB, 486x463px

>Go into B&N.
>Browsing Fiction.
>Some guy starts chuckling to himself when I pick up The Black Company.
>Here him go into the next aisle and starts muttering something about "Pleb Fiction"
>See him giggling as he's doing something on his phone.
>He's phone-posting on Mimi.

>>9943399
Everybody likes retarded shit when they're teenagers. Don't fucking pretend you were reading Kant in between jerking off and algebra homework

File: smug babushka.jpg (26KB, 423x453px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 423x453px

>>9943414
>here him

>>9943373
Why would I be mad? I have a penis and will never be a stupid doo doo head slut vagina monster.

Guys and we please tell each other slightly funny stories and not shit on woman incessantly please thank you

>>9943483
When will they learn anon

File: 1500664050760.png (166KB, 833x789px) Image search: [Google]

166KB, 833x789px

>mfw a woman is dumb and pleb and has a vagina near me

File: ljijtfzsfsfvn.png (415KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

415KB, 600x600px

Finally, a thread where I can share this!
>Be at local used bookstore
>Browsing the classics section
>A high school girl and her mother walk into the aisle
>Both are having a conversation
>The girl says she needs Crime and Punishment for her AP English class
>She's looking for copy with the least number of pages because she thinks it will be shorter
>That bimbo gives up, and looks for a copy where smart nerds made notes in it
>The girl grabs a copy, and says she's probably not going to read it, and just use sparknotes instead
>mfw the decline of American education

>>9943330
YOUR A WHITE MALE!!!

Overheard a guy and a girl of maybe 25 years discussing two books they'd found; American Gods by Gaiman and another called Greek Gods which was about actual Greek mythology.
They were baffled by the fact that AG was the thicker book, since "surely the Greeks had more gods... America only has one, right?"
It's probably a good thing they don't let me carry a firearm.

>be 3 years ago
>be 17
>going through existential crisis (read: teenage angst) so decide to head to Barnes & Nobles to pick out some books dealing with those issues
>naturally am guided to the philosophy section
>be standing there for 2 minutes when all of a sudden I hear someone the next section over snicker
>look around and see it was some archetypal snobbish philosophy major Britbong
>spark conversation with him for 5 minutes until his shitskin gf comes from around the corner and tells him it's time to leave
>fucking Rockstop

>>9945354
>AP English
>book written in Russian

>>9945442
It's called AP English and Literature, buckarooee

>>9945442
>what are translations

File: me.png (413KB, 811x767px)

413KB, 811x767px

>>9943427

Wait...are you really supposed to stop jerking off once you aren't a teenager anymore

Once I walked into a book store and I asked a lady who worked there "Do you have a poetry collection by Heinrich Heine?" and she said "Do we have *what* by Heine?" and I said "A poetry collection" and then she nodded and helped me out.

It was awkward and still bugs me to this day.

>green texts story mentions lolita
>stop reading right there

so sick of the god damn farmer who keeps posting these idiotic stories about lolita, no one in a city that has more people than cows gives a rats ass about lolita, kys

File: woh.jpg (55KB, 450x450px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 450x450px

>>9943414
The Black Company is my favorite book (series) of all time.

>>9943469
Kek, that's how we know a woman wrote it.

File: davidfosterwallace.jpg (372KB, 1813x1200px) Image search: [Google]

372KB, 1813x1200px

>>9943327
>get a large black coffee and walk into B&N
>security guard smiles hello, I smile back
>in fiction section a thick new book just arrived, about a dozen copies, lined up on the floor, spines against the wall, so I can't tell what book it is
>bend over to pick one up
>feel my entire large black coffee spill
>must've ruined about 5-10 books
>i can see the black coffee slowly seeping into the pages, these books will be unsellable.
>place my coffee on the shelf
>walk out calmly, smiling back at the security guard again
>hear "awwww fuck!" from the fiction section from an employee
>tfw the cup I left at the scene has my name on it

not going to that B&N for a while, laying low

>came to a book store to buy a baby care book for my brother whose wife recently gave birth to their first baby
>a pretty shop girl smiles to me and asks me what i want
>i explain
>her smile suddenly wanes, she shows me the shelf almost crossly and immediately leaves

it was a bit embarrassing desu

>>9946930
she was just buttmad that the chads shes been fucking on tinder never call her back even if she swallows

>>9943327
>checking out at B&N
>Middlemarch, George Eliot
>qt cashier asks "good choice, did you know she was a huge influence on Proust?" (pronouncing Proust correctly)
>as I'm responding, I feel a large booger in my nose, I want to pick it so badly
>i see her looking directly at my nose, her fading smile telling me the booger is visible
>as I'm speaking the booger visibly falls out of my nose and onto the counter
>I pretend it never happened and I keep talking and just leave the booger there
>she said nothing after my response

>>9945486
>your dick didn't fall off at the age of 20

Lol jesus what a failure.

>>9946946
lmao

File: disgusted-clint-eastwood.gif (858KB, 240x228px) Image search: [Google]

858KB, 240x228px

>go into Chapters
>go to the SF/F section (which is adjacent to the comics and manga section)
>there are ALWAYS at least half a dozen nerds in the aisle, a lot of them sitting on the floor and blocking the way
>ask them to move so I can browse, multiple times, and loudly enough to try to make them feel embarrassed
>they feel no shame
>mfw

File: 1503306634758.jpg (99KB, 768x577px) Image search: [Google]

99KB, 768x577px

>>9943330
>white man
>exists

>>9943330
How much do you get paid to false flag like this in every single thread?

File: 1492610104016.jpg (35KB, 488x432px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 488x432px

>>9943327

>everyone talks about this great used book store hidden in some corner downtown
>decide to check it out
>upon entering the stench of marijuana is overbearing
>store clerk is some 15 year old boy wearing an Ayn Rand t-shirt
>ask him where the poetry section is
>he groans loudly and says it's "somewhere in the back"
>navigate my way around piles of paperbacks and squeezing my way through shelves
>in the middle of hopping over a pile of Stephen King novels
>get distracted by a gay couple making out in the theater section
>screw up my landing and topple into the classics shelf
>shelf falls over and I get buried under old Penguin and Wordsworth Classics
>pinned and call for help
>clerk is busy trying to kick out a homeless man masturbating in the erotica section
>look around and see a collection of T.S. Eliot's poetry within reach
>grab it and flip through the pages
>turns out the cover was a lie and someone changed the pages
>mfw the inside contents is actually The Communist Manifesto

>>9947069
at least the constant anti-semitism leads to an occasional interesting thread about jewish ideologies, western civilization, christianity, etc. but the women hating shit just goes no where, shit's gay, it's probably a butch dyke he hates men for whatever reason, maybe she should go to a psychoanalyst and admit she wants her dad to fuck her so so she can finally stop falseflagposting

>>9947055
i wish Audrey was my girlfriend

>>9943327
>walk into a magazine and stationery shop
>see some romantic novel books from Harlequin
>ask the counter staff for the price of the books
>one of them replied: "those aren't books, those are novels"

>>9943327
>>9943327
Is awkwardly asking for some dude's number to discuss literature with him cringe or just awkward? I was the guy asking

>>9947384
neither. unless you asked in a flirty way that he didn't appreciate.

I went to a used bookstore once. The entrance was write next to the cash register, so a cute cashier was standing right there when I went in. I said "hey" or "good afternoon" or something like that, and she didn't respond.

And then I couldn't find any books I wanted to read, so I left with nothing.

>>9947073
Fake but amazing. Thank you

>>9943427
Actually yes, I was reading Dostoy and about philosophy at age 15.
And I don't think certain manga or anime is retarded shit, it was only the way she acted that made me cringe like "yeah I get you like this very mainstream anime but can you not make a scene about it".

>>9946871
>A woman reading Black Company

>>9943330
>he spends his days false flagging on /lit/

>>9947384
Considering you are awkward enough to have to ask about this kind of thing you will come off as gay.

File: latest[1].jpg (161KB, 946x561px) Image search: [Google]

161KB, 946x561px

>>9947522
self-inserts as soulcatcher :^)

I took advantage of being at the seaside to lay in a store of
sucking-stones. They were pebbles but I call them stones. Yes, on
this occasion I laid in a considerable store. I distributed them
equally between my four pockets, and sucked them turn and turn
about. This raised a problem which I first solved in the following
way. I had say sixteen stones, four in each of my four pockets these
being the two pockets of my trousers and the two pockets of my
greatcoat. Taking a stone from the right pocket of my greatcoat, and
putting it in my mouth, I replaced it in the right pocket of my
greatcoat by a stone from the right pocket of my trousers, which I
replaced by a stone from the left pocket of my trousers, which I
replaced by a stone from the left pocket of my greatcoat, which I
replaced by the stone which was in my mouth, as soon as I had
finished sucking it. Thus there were still four stones in each of my
four pockets, but not quite the same stones. And when the desire to
suck took hold of me again, I drew again on the right pocket of my
greatcoat, certain of not taking the same stone as the last time.
And while I sucked it I rearranged the other stones in the way I
have just described. And so on. But this solution did not satisfy me
fully. For it did not escape me that, by an extraordinary hazard, the
four stones circulating thus might always be the same four. In which
case, far from sucking the sixteen stones turn and turn about, I was
really only sucking four, always the same, turn and turn about. But
I shuffled them well in my pockets, before I began to suck, and
again, while I sucked, before transferring them, in the hope of
obtaining a more general circulation of the stones from pocket to
pocket. But this was only a makeshift that could not long content a
man like me. So I began to look for something else ...

>>9946538
I can't believe I'm reading a post by a 33rd degree autist!
It's an honor sir

>>9947566
Probably. But I knew it wasn't cringe to begin with, I'm one of those insecure fuckwads who over-analyzes practically everything they say or do.

And I didn't text the guy back.

>>9947594
Wrong threads, anons, do pardon mineself!

>>9946946
true or not true that was the best one

>>9947577
Of all the female character to self-insert as you choose the worst one.

>>9947612
soul catcher is a strong independent girl who ain't need no man

she also had her severed head being sewed back to her neck which is pretty badass

>>9943427
Kek that's my life now

I was lurking in the manga aisle for light novels because they had a deal and I overheard some poor dad getting the entire plot to Tokyo Ghoul expained to him by his 12 year old daughter.

>>9943327
>Be me, 14
>Small town had a small, locally owned bookstore
>Lady who owned it was a little odd, but encouraged "Haggling"
>Was really just her giving me massive discounts because she knew I was poor and liked my taste
>Got rare and obscure editions of books, a few worth hundreds, for 3-4 dollars apiece
>A lot of raggy paperbacks too, but I really just liked what was on the pages.
>Store goes out of business
>Only option for buying physical copies from stores is now a B&N a few towns over
I never go there because of the stories I read here.

>>9943427
Read it as
>Everybody likes retarded shit when they're teenagers. Don't fucking pretend you weren't reading Kant in between jerking off and algebra homework
kek

>>9943327
>lurking in B&N reading Lolita
>no I'm not autistic

mmmk

>>9947048
just kick the subhuman trash next time, grow a backbone, geeze

>>9943327
>small town local library
>browse books near the cashier
>a funny looking guy around 18-20 walks in and asks for a bible
>I cringe as I hear him speak, dude sounds like a real faggot
>I take a good look at him, he is also dressed as one
>strikes a conversation with the lady clerk about gay marriage and if the bible explicitly prohibits it
>the clerk brings the bible, he starts browsing it mumbling inaudible shit to himself
>the debate goes on betweem the two clerks and the guy
>the other lady clerk seems very religious and is against gay marriage, starting a pretty cringeworthy dispute
>guy gets mad, tells them 'I hope God will burn your library down' or some shit like that and exits the library

the fuck

>>9945354
>He actually read all his assigned books
I read about 20 pages total of Brave New World and cheated off my friend for the in class assignments when I was in AP lit. Slept through most of Hamlet too

>>9947454
Fucking autist

>>9943327
Not a bookstore but in line with these other stories

>Be a cashier at a liquor store
>Reading Karen Armstrong's A History of God
>Modern Abrahamic concepts of God are cobbled from many disparate theologies, whether God exists or not doesn't change that mankind's perception of him is entirely constructed by man
>Customer walks in, sees my book
>"You know that's all FALSE right?"
>What?
>"We're all destined to die, just floating around in the VOID"
>Yeah no shit you anti-intellectual reddit shitstain
>Say nothing because I wanted to keep my job

>getting into philosophy finally
>15 sorting through a second hand book store
>head up to buy some Kierk and Nietzsche
>clerk looks over the spines
>'they don't like you too much out there, do they kid?'
>w-what
>'you mustn't be very popular?'
>stare at him in confusion as he gets my change smirking
>i leave

What kind of cunt 50 year old

> be me, 25
> go to a bookstore in France
> pick a random book about nihilism because the cover is edgy
> cheap laugh
> 18-19yo store clerk sees me, asks me in French if I want it
> "it's deep stuff, gars," he says
> I reply that I would rather pick a Nietzsche if I wanted some 'good' nihilism
> "What's Nietzsche?"

clenchinghand.jpeg

>be me
>who else would I be?
>go to local bookstore
>grab a copy of GR and approach the register
>approximately 19 year old qt with blue hair at the register
>slap GR down on the counter
>"ever heard of this one, toots?"
>"oh yeah I love that one" sed at
>"i love the myriad voices he employs"
>...
>"the book kinda has a circular structure, but I won't say any more or else I'll spoil the ending!"
>start sweating
>purchase book
>leave store in a haste
>she calls out as I'm briskly walking away
>"make sure you pay attention to Slothrop's costume changes in part 3!"
>my pace quickens to a soft gallop as I go out the door
>realize 10 mins later I left my book on the counter
Who was in the wrong here?
W

>>9947712
The stories here are all fake, but BN shit is mad overpriced.

>>9943427
Yeah, I read retarded shit when I was a teenager, but not anime. I was an edgy leftist and avante-garde art fan so I read shit like Kropotkin, Nietzche, Deleuze, and Kafka (who I still read). Then I group, and now I mostly read analytic philosophy, math, and cognitive science. But yeah in high school I was basically at the level of most of the brainlets on /lit/, so feel free to bow down and submit to my intellectual superiority.

>>9948568
He wasn't wrong. You are unlikeable.

>>9943327
>be browsing near the help desk because of really cute girl
>long red hair, short, snowy white skin and childlike voice
>she sees me and walks up to me, asks me if I need help
>smile and ask for the book I'm looking for
>The Histories by Herodotus
>she looks it up and I check her out while shes doing it
>nice ass
>she tells me she knows where it is and to follow her
>we walk from one side of the store to the other and cant find it
>she asks others to help
>nothing
>she gives up and says sorry we dont carry it
>I hang around for a while looking at other thigngs
>find The Histories right where it should be
>shes fucking dumb.

>>9948555
happened to me recently

>be me
>took some alcohol after a hard day of work and go home
>the world is so warm and fuzzy and everything is so right, i barely can think
>a man approaches me and asks "do you think the bible is important nowadays?"
>suddenly stop
>i should answer something but what
>briefly remember the history of the bible, its connection to gilgamesh, some verses especially that about the valley of the shadow of death and also ecclesiastes, but i am drunk so i dunno what to say
>the man looks at me, realizes i am not completely sober, says "oh, it's a pity you didn't read the bible" and goes away
>go home thinking if bible is important nowadays or not, i don't remember what i eventually decided

>>9943427
I was jerking Kant off

>>9948555
also
>Modern Abrahamic concepts of God are cobbled from many disparate theologies, whether God exists or not doesn't change that mankind's perception of him is entirely constructed by man
iirc kant answered to it

>>9947048
The chapters near me has a comic book store right across the street to me and much cheaper manga price. And yet all the spergs clog up said section in Chapters. I mean whatdafuck

>>9943327
Was waiting in the qeue at Waterstones and the cashier girl was a bit down, saying to her friend that her boyfriend had dumped her because she was going nowhere in life. Trying to cheer her up, I piped up with "But you work in a bookshop!" (planning to continue with 'gateway to knowledge, foundation of civilisation and learning, gateway to a universe of experiences, etc) She just glares daggers at me, causing me to stutter and clam up. Only after paying and leaving do I realise she took it as an insult.

>>9946905
>security guard at a B&N
the fuck? was the shop in the middle of a very 'vibrant and diverse' city or something? even then I can't imagine shitskins would be stealing books of all things, most are functionally illiterate as it is

>>9948648
I think the bible's not important anymore, not because the bible has no worth as a spiritual manifesto or work of literature, but in a Nietzchean "God is dead and we've killed him" sense. Both the religious and irreligious are SIMULTANEOUSLY obsessed with the idea of the bible being fully literal while only cherry-picking sections and ideas that fit their current arguments. I personally wish more people would realize and accept the bible as being internally inconsistent, because its not the product of a single force but of dozens of flawed human beings who were trying to understand and respond to cultural and political conditions of their time. If people could view the bible like they do the greek mythological canon I think it could gain a more constructive place in western culture

I was walking through this really big independent bookstore and passed by this hippy duchebag talking to some girl and heard him use the phrase "the machine of human suffering"

>>9948591
>I reply that I would rather pick a Nietzsche if I wanted some 'good' nihilism
You are right.
This was cringy.

>>9943330
unironically this though

>>9943330
sadly this

File: IMG_5419.jpg (43KB, 493x449px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 493x449px

>>9948643
>short skin
what did anon mean by this?

>>9943330
>Post hoc ergo propter hoc.

File: 1503743041328.gif (323KB, 500x517px) Image search: [Google]

323KB, 500x517px

>>9948737
well, i don't think it is that simple. even though the bible is not very consistent, it is still one of the few texts that we have that were supposedly inspired by the god to express something that he wanted to say or to do to us. we can consider the bible as an imperfect reflection of the god's message in the human mind of people from millenia ago.

if anything it has a great psychological importance too giving acessibility and the air of authority to what otherwise would be mere phylosophical exercises, way too abstract and distant for most of the people. the bible makes it accessible and supports it with its percepted significance

it is also a bit different with the greek canon because its anthropomorphic gods drew some criticism from the ancient times, xenophanes, then socrates etc

File: 1428729823285.jpg (61KB, 960x945px)

61KB, 960x945px

>>9945425
Good Lord have mercy on my soul.

>>9946559
I'm in Pittsburgh, PA you neurotic idiot

File: 1402475588808.png (84KB, 500x500px)

84KB, 500x500px

>be at bookstore
>see a bunch of cheap paperback "classics"
>too many people in the bookstore so I decide to come later to pick up a copy of Heart of Darkness, which I had been meaning to read
>Come back next day and there's no copies left
>Know deep inside that people probably only bought the book because the title sounded cool

>>9948737
I disagree with your perspective but it's well-formed. Christianity is still very important in the Western world despite what the media may want you to think. It's true that it has a lot of viewpoints in argument with each other but that doesn't mean it should just all be dismissed. When you get down to the spirit of the thing it's still a very relevant ruleset for modern life and certain passages are surprisingly relatable when you go back and read it as an adult.

>>9949271
They probably bought it because they heard Apocalypse Now was based on it.

>>9949271
Heart of Darkness is kind of famous and it is required reading in many literature courses

>>9949341
>>9949360

I don't even live in an English speaking country, that's the thing.

>>9949271
this is a bad post. you haven't even read Heart of Darkness and you're asserting some kind of superiority over someone else who bought it because you "know deep down" they're buying it for more superficial reasons than you?

is this bait? you may have narcissistic personality disorder.

>>9949370

Keep telling yourself you don't have narcissistic tendencies now and again.

>>9949383
>deflection

>>9949398

>projection

>>9945354
>implying plebs were avid readers in days past

I mean you only need to look at boomers to know that's not true. Read Tom Sawyer for before that. If everyone in our population had the ability to read one book a year our IQ would probably be 5-10 points higher as a society.

If you have kids you should have family reading hour for an hour before bed every day :x

>going into BN to buy some literary mags and collegiate publications from their newsstand
>walk around this thing for ten minutes searching until an employee comes up
>points out that they're right in front of me
>debate buying them while I go to the help desk and ask if I can apply for a job
>"You have to do it online"
>go back to the magazines and they're all watching me now
>go to check out
>"How are you today"
>Not doing so well
>"what was that?"
>Not doing so well
>"Your throat hurts?"
>I'M FINE, THANKS

Shoot me. I want to die but don't have the guts to kill myself.

Also, this thread is only tangentially related to literature and should he pruned or moved to /r9k/.

Bookstores are one place I've never had a bad experience. Yes, there's sometimes an autistic talking a bit too loud, but that's the worst of it.

I go in, buy my pleb books and leave. Sometimes the cashier will mention something about "good choice" or it being a "bargain" but I don't ever buy more than 2 retail priced books at once so tehre's no small talk. Pay and out.

I basically get left completely alone unless I ask for something. Lovely experiences all the time.

>>9949444

I love it when you interact briefly with a register person, and then they just don't say shit when you buy something, instead of pretending we didn't interact already.

>>9946538
That sounds like a perfectly normal exchange. You're just autistic

>>9947599
Shoot yourself with a 12 gauge

>>9949488

The fact that you don't realize the poster was most likely elaborately duping us, means that you are probably the one with autism.

>>9948620
This. I've never actually had a bad experience in B&N but be prepared to pay 20-30 dollars for a paperback

>>9948089
Nobody who is of age for this site would feel the need to brag about this.

>>9949513
Shit you got me there

>>9948073
>protestants
not even once

>>9947048
>>9948694

Y'all in Vancouver or do chapters all have the same layout? Mine has the same exact weeb issue.

>>9949466
Underrated reply. Bookstores are places where conversation is not expected, you can simply occupy yourself with things that interest you, and nobody cares.

Not a bookstore story, but a library one. It's close so what the hell.

>library
>best place for some casual petting because of silence and abundance of nerdy gals and horny milfs
>hot cutey appears
>she's randy
>casually brush her arse while she's browsing the shelf's for signs of hysterics
>no adverse reaction
>grab her firm and hard
>blushing, but up for it
>go for some grinding action as i just love the sight of spontaneous orgasm in the noon
>lure her to humpy corner
>shove her face in the books, arch her back
>grab her by the pussy
>she's got a dik
>smirk on his face
>touche, while i depart in embarrassment

File: 1503729407469.gif (498KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

498KB, 500x500px

>>9948643
That's pretty cute, actually.

Went to the largest Chapters (canadas Barnes and noble) in my city yesterday. Tens of thousands of books for sale. Had no Gaddis, no 2666, no "If on a winter's night a traveller", no Nabokov other than Lolita.

>approach counter with wittgenstein's tractatus
>female cash operator: doing some light reading? (said with perplexing levity)
>me (mask of confusion): are you alluding to the thinness of the volume?
>female cash operator/potential mate: huh?
>me (teeth chattering): do not let the weight of the book deceive you as to the weightiness of its contents.
>future wife: ok
>me: (swallows)
>soul mate: are you ok?
>me: i want you to perform the transaction now

File: 1492195445071.jpg (34KB, 564x477px)

34KB, 564x477px

>Stuck at home for a week with strep throat
>finally getting better but sound like Ive been smoking cigarettes for years
>decide to cheer myself up to buy a book
>go to Chapters and browse
>retaildrone sees comes up to me
>asks if I'm looking for anything
>shake my head because I still can't talk
>he notices my Ghostbusters shirt
>he starts talking to me about the new film
>he suddenly drifts into talking about hockey
>start mentioning the playoffs
>starts mentioning hes a fan of the team that my team is playing against
>I cant stay silent anymore
>tell him his team sucks and Ghostbusters suck while sounding like a vacuum hoovering glass shards
>he starts laughing and talking about statistics
>I try to make my voice more hoarse so maybe he'll get the idea
>he keeps talking
>I'm getting visibly angry
>still talking
>I turn and just raise my voice as loud as I can and tell him to leave me alone
>he looks really upset
>says he was only trying to help
>go home and my strep comes back, bedridden for another week.

>>9943327
>just fired from job, furiously angry, never angrier
>go to Baltimore Inner Harbor B&N
>it's a 5-floor old power plant that was renovated, with a rail from the top floor so you can see the ground floor
>looking for books for 2 hours
>have a stack, 5-6 doorstopper sized books, well over $100
>on top floor to read through some while sitting down
>one of the books is broken or so,thing, the spine is fucked up
>some fat negress employee says "you break it now you gotta buy it sir?" and screaming at me like I'm a dog
>in a fit of rage I said "oh yeah?" and threw all the books off the 5th floor balcony
>hear insanely loud smack then a scream, didn't realize I could've killed someone if it hit them in the head
>I walk out and never return, considering I could've been arrested

>>9950105
10/10 would read again

>>9950105
lol

>>9950105
the best /lit/ copypasta 2bh

>head to local used bookstore
>find great /lit/ books there for cheap very often
>head to counter for checkout
>expect the owner to make at least some comments about the great, obscure-to-the-mainstream books I'm buying
>he never does
I just want to feel recognized outside of /lit/

>>9947069
>implying someone cares enough about """/lit/""" to pay someone else to antishitpost shitpost here

>>9948089
hows 17 treating ya

>>9948699
you are a superlative autist for even thinking this was a good plan

File: 1503258576567.jpg (63KB, 465x465px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 465x465px

>>9947748
Amen! Shin to teeth works miracles.

>>9949414
>green arrows

>>9950301
Perhaps the owner hates you for buying all his good books. Or he is just as timid as you and would want to start a talk, but does not dare.

>>9949414
>erection

>>9950301
as someone who works in a used book shop I can tell 90% of customers want some validation/chat from me about their books

simple truth is, there are a lot of books out there. I only comment if I've actually read it and have an opinion

and no, you don't look smart for buying philosophy. The kind of people who actually read and understand it usually avoid eye contact at the counter

>>9950565
>The kind of people who actually read and understand it usually avoid eye contact at the counter
lol this special snowflake armchair psychology

>>9950577
I wish I was fucking joking

I SWEAR DOWN the only two types of people who buy philosophy are hipsters and hardcore autists

I literally can't think of a single occasion to the contrary

File: kexican.jpg (63KB, 425x283px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 425x283px

>>9948617

>>9950594
how the fuck would you know mate? you follow every one of your customers home to observe their daily lives for a sufficient amount of time?

oh wait, you don't have to as long as they avoid eye contact, right? because we all know that already conclusively demonstrates their level of comprehension and dedication, right? :^)

you are not nearly as insightful as you think you are

>>9950662
steady on lad

I know it must have been disappointing for you when the assistant didn't ask you about your Sartre but there's no need to take it out on us

>>9945442
They do it that way in Amerika. I'm as baffled as you are.

>>9947048
>go to the SF/F section
your first mistake

>>9950662
You know, first impressions are pretty close to the truth.

>>9947048
>SF/F section
Do you really think you're better than the weebs?

>>9949901
>browsing the shelf's for signs of hysterics
>i just love the sight of spontaneous orgasm in the noon
I like your style. I also have to fap now.

>>9946946
(You) deserve a (You) as well.

>>9948699
Amazing, just amazing

>>9948715
Sometimes b&n are apart of malls and shit so they have security

>>9948617
kek

File: giphy.gif (697KB, 280x280px) Image search: [Google]

697KB, 280x280px

>>9948643
>Can't be bothered to find a book on his own
>Criticizes store clerk for his own stupidity

>>9943330
This. Well said white brother

File: vancouver-public-libray-rooftop-project.jpg (213KB, 620x427px) Image search: [Google]

213KB, 620x427px

>>9949806
go to macleods or canterbury or kestrel or whatever the sister bookstores between macleods are. That or VPL, balling ass library.

Fuck chain bookstores.

pic related, they're currently adding a rooftop garden.

>Go to B&N
>was supposed to just grab some causal reading material
>see that the B&N classic series books are going for $5 each as a sale
>End up getting a few books for my niece as well, stuff like alice in wonder land and Oz.
>Arms full of books
>hard to hold
>forgot to check my niece's books for damage
>try to flip through them while in line
>One book falls
>try to pick it up and as I do another falls
>spilling like mom's spaghetti
>I hear giggling
>qt in line behind me helps me out
>wanted to chat her up but the B&N employee called for the next person in line which happened to be me
>managed to say thanks while laughing at myself as she giggled at my clumsiness

Fuck she was a cute nerdy type should have said more. Too bad I'm a nerd.

>>9950565
>>The kind of people who actually read and understand it usually avoid eye contact at the counter
stop encouraging us

>go to library in Clovis
>see adult buying young adult novel
I cringed so hard i shot her and a few others for good measure.

File: laffing adolf.jpg (34KB, 369x375px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 369x375px

>>9950137
bumping the thread just to tell you that I lol'd.

>>9949521
>>9948620
I've never had my hopes lifted and crushed again so fast.

>>9950964
first post best post

>>9951446
wait oops

File: 1402119215210.png (5KB, 302x237px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 302x237px

>>9945425
This seems legit, but I still really hope you made it up man, fuck

File: received_10205015323961130.jpg (16KB, 720x540px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 720x540px

>>9949901
>lure her to humpy corner

>>9950923
>rooftop garden
I wondered what that awful noise was. I figured they were working on something but I didn't know It was a garden. That's pretty cool but I hope it's done soonish because I want to go back to having a quiet library

>>9948624
desu you are still a fucking brainlet if you read analytic philosophy unless you are reading it for pleasure/history/culture.

I work at BN. every day of my life is an exercise in two things: patience with the average customer and not wanting to kill myself because my boss exclusive hires pretty girls that smell nice

just the other day

>be working customer service
>customer calls asking about the new IT movie
>wonders if I know if they're going to be writing a book about it
>instantly speechless
>ask if he means a novelization of the film
>no
>wonders if they're going to base a book off of it

today, probably saw one of you guys at work

>gangly man walks in
>entry level /fa/
>reeks like he reads IJ once a year
>walking around looking generally confused
>ask if I can help him find something
>he practically barks a no
>he wanders around for 15 minutes
>approaches 5 minutes later and tries to tell me that I should contact corporate and order in copies of steppenwolfe for well read people like him
>walk him over to the H's in fiction and point out four copies of the book we have, two editions

I masturbated to being better than him later that shift

>>9949901
ok that was one green text story that didn't suck

>>9951580
>approaches 5 minutes later and tries to tell me that I should contact corporate and order in copies of steppenwolfe for well read people like him
Please tell me you embellished here and that he didn't say it like that. Why do autists generally have a self aggrandizing view of themselves?

>>9943330
This but unironically

>>9951659
the direct quote was

"I was wondering if you could put a message through to your buyer? I think you guys could use more...up there literature. I was a bit disappointed you didn't have Steppenwolf...Hermann Hesse. I think you guys should have a section devoted to literature such as that instead of Patterson. Actual readers like myself would appreciate it."

The smug was palpable. I almost whipped my cock out right then and there and beat off to the comeuppance that was about to happen

File: 1501122652648.jpg (46KB, 278x251px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 278x251px

>>9943327
>in a half price books a year or so ago
>overhear a fat guy and a girl talking in the history section
>fat guy says something along the lines of "I love the holocaust!"
>starts talking to the girl about /pol/
>girl talking about how she posts pictures of herself in /soc/ rate threads

File: 1498572547889.jpg (9KB, 262x263px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 262x263px

>>9948617

>>9949414
Election

>>9949444
>this

>>9950105
>i want you to perform the transaction now
Fucking kek

>>9943383

>women

Those that are actually in bookstores are pretty much contained to softcore porn romance and feminist shit.

>non-whites

Not an issue because they already don't go into bookstores

File: molyspew more like.jpg (104KB, 853x960px) Image search: [Google]

104KB, 853x960px

>>9943327
>enter the bookshop
>beeline for the philosophy section
>exactly the same books that were here last time I came in six months ago
>consider asking at the desk if they can order something in for me
>remember every embarrassing social incident I've ever experienced
>leave

>>9952136
don't worry about asking

the staff are finding it more weird that you've been coming in for six months, walking around and not buying anything

This is from many years ago

>go into B&N to shit about for a while with a m8
>notice it's oddly crowded
>like WAY oddly crowded
>holy fuck the news is here... but why
>notice a few kids have robes on
>oh jesus fucking god no
>it's July 20th, 2007
>I'm at a Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows release party at Barnes and Noble, the most 2007 thing to have ever happened.
>kids are showing their autistic fanart to each other
>an obese teen girl sings a renaissance faire type song she claims is some kinda Phoenix bird song translated to English
>reporter is visibly uncomfortable
>manga section is a fucking moshpit
>cringe at the thought I ever read one of these books many years previous

>>9946905
What book was it? Maybe nothing of value was lost

>>9951580
>>reeks like he reads IJ once a year
W-what's that supposed to mean, sempai

>>9949444
Fucking hell this is relateable.

>>9943427
yknow if you said "don't fucking pretend you weren't reading Kant in between jerking off and algebra homework" you could've had a pretty brutal diss lined up

File: 1502658714980.jpg (23KB, 605x454px)

23KB, 605x454px

> in bookstore, Waterstones
> start browsing the poetry section, see The Iliad and The Odyssey
> keep hold of a fart inbetween my butt cheeks because i'm in public and only filthy people fart in public
> laugh to myself because they're bad translations
> decide to place them in the history section for a giggle
> see a qt grill in the history section
> she smiles at me
> instantly think of her vagina
> oh shit there's a vagina near me
> maybe i can fuck her if we hit it off
> i start to sweat a little bit
> she turns back to me again, about to ask what books i'm interested in
> i open my mouth and grin
> she sees my dead tooth
> the smell of fart leaves my mouth, i can almost taste it
> she winces
> she walks away
> i shout "HELLO HOW ARE YOU TODAY???"
> female staff member tells me to leave
> she touches my shoulder to shoo me out
> finally stop unclenching my buttcheeks
> another vagina holy shit
> I begin to let loose a fart
> it's louder than i thought
> oh shit my pants are a bit heavier
> chunks of poop start falling down my trouser leg
> I run away, out of the store, while taking a copy of Les Miserables off the shelves
> alarm is set off
> trail of shit follows me down the street

I'm not proud to say it but I'd do it all over again than actually pay £10 for a book.

>>9949424
This.

Read to your children please, anons.

Also baby boomers really are not the smartest bunch. I don't mean to be insulting, but you do notice there's a simplicity with many of them. It's actually kind of sweet when you reach your 60s in a way.

>>9950105
>i want you to perform the transaction now
perfection

>>9946905
yeah but how would B&N know your name unless if you wear a Hello My Name Is name-tag whenever you go outside

>>9946946
I laughed so hard and now my boss is coming over to my cubicle fucking hell

>>9947048
Is this a real thing where neckbeards sit on the floor to read their fantasy picture books? Living in the UK and I've never really seen this.

>>9950662
holy shit are you mad. I guess anon hit the nail on the head, huh.

>>9949271
> refuses to buy a book because there are too many people in the store

Lazy motherfucker

>>9947048

Those fuckers probably manage to read entire comic books without paying, they don't take that long to finish.

>>9949806

Ayy, do you go to the one in metrotown? I never actually buy books there because it's cheaper online but I like to have a browse if I'm at the mall for some reason.

>>9947073
Did you buy the manifesto or not

File: 1502116879213.png (20KB, 282x271px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 282x271px

>>9952323

>>9947069
wait is it false flagging or false false flagging? or false flag false flagging

>>9943494
Oh god this

>>9947368
you gave me a good kek

>>9947368
kek

File: 1503249012371.jpg (35KB, 525x384px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 525x384px

Not cringe but definitely emotional
>be not you
>in second hand book shop
>oxfam
>browsing reference literature
>next to children section
>enter enthusiastic 6 year old girl
>two dykes follow
>obese, literally no effort in appearance other than nose rings and fading bright blue hair dye.
>both dykes absorbed in themselves, paying little attention to the child
>little girl asks if there are any books abut space
>explains that she is learning about space in school
>dyke of worts immediately denies child a book. Says there are no books about space with an edge of irritability.
>didn't so much as glance at the child's section
>dyke of scullion pipes up about high heeled shoes they forgot to buy from another store
>leave
>find childrens books on space
>consider buying
>realise I'm a fully grow white male and will be arrested for buying a little girl a book

The book cost £1 each. Literally pocket change.

>>9952477
I hate parents who don't even fucking try with their kids (assuming they were gay parents and not just the "eccentric" rocker grandmother).

I get you're not genuinely meant to judge people with kids in public with how they deal with children unless if you have your own and you know how difficult it is to deal with them at times (as well as knowing which methods work better with which child) but if she was just genuinely curious about books and they didn't show any interest, that's just shitty parenting.

>>9943488

You're throwing around strawman arguments based on things he's never said or implied; that might be hard for you to see but it's obvious to me because I'm a man, capable of logic and common sense

>>9943327
>get appointment for referral to a dental x-ray on the other side of town
>got to the square early as I'm deathly afraid of being chewed out for being late
>realize there's a small second-hand bookstore right next to it
>never been to a bookstore, always relied either on the internet or library
>got 30 minutes to kill, why not
>walk inside
>smaller than it appears from the outside
>decorated like a stepford wives' child's bedroom
>white-painted furniture and immaculate wooden flooring and random pieces of china on the shelves everywhere
>the only person there is apparently the proprietor, sitting behind the counter
>reasonably pleasant woman, blonde, probably mid-40s, somehow too pleasant to call a milf but definitely attractive
>she's chatting on the phone though and I'm the only customer
>this eases my social anxiety, quickly run out of her line of sight before I have to say something
>realize that almost all of the books are cheap romance novels
>feel embarrassed and insecure in my masculinity, seek out an exception
>find a corner in the back with licensed star wars and world of warcraft novels
>attempt to find something redeeming
>realize the owner is no longer on the phone
>realize that the corner I'm now in would be visible to her
>realize she's probably expecting this cargo pants-wearing acne-ridden autistic fuck to shoplift 'Bloodtides of the Orcish Horde: Lord of the Icemourn Clan' or whatever it was called
>just stand there unmoving until she gets on the phone again
>run out of there
>realize I'm 5 minutes late for my appointment
>find a new dentist

>>9949444
>going into BN to buy a gift for my wife
>cashier is 25ish, short, blonde woman
>she asks if i want to have the gift wrapped
>i say yes
>we get to talking, realize that we used to live in the same town a few years ago
>i tell her how i used to be a hippie
>she tells me about her dreams and aspirations
>"oh, was that your wife with you earlier? you make such a cute couple!"
>i thank her for wrapping my gifts and tell her to take care
it's sad that i have to greentext a story of normal human interaction

>>9952595
> not being charmed by qt waifu woman of mature age
> not realising that, despite having a shitty selection of books in-store, she could've been a good wife like that which Austen wished for all of her self-inserts in her novels

ya blew it, son

it's been 37 years, when ya gettin married

i hear mrs. ellison's daughter is left on the shelf

>>9952554
>expecting a woman to understand what a strawman argument is

>>9943330
Just stop please

File: ok.jpg (9KB, 248x233px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 248x233px

>>9948089
Wow anon that's totally brave, you're so cool. Definitely remarkable.

File: 1500017882683.jpg (57KB, 500x502px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 500x502px

>>9952599
>it's sad that i have to greentext a story of normal human interaction
at least you finessed some sweet dubs out of it.

>>9947384
>>9947566
He might think you want to do more than hang out and talk literature. Maybe bring a friend with you? Like when you call him to hang out, make it clear that there will be someone else there. Or not. You did nothing wrong in either case.

>>9948591
sounds like you don't know Nietzsche anymore than he did :^)

>>9948919
>baiting this hard

>>9943427
You didnt pick up Kant in your teens? Are you serious?

>>9945425
I pray to the one American Gods that you made this one up.

>>9948648
>took some alcohol after a hard day of work and go home
>took some alcohol
>the world is so warm and fuzzy and everything is so right, i barely can think
>the world is so warm and fuzzy
>i barely can think

You know that anyone who's ever drank in their life will understand what you mean if just say, "Got a bit drunk", right?

>>9948632
kek

>>9948568
I think he wanted you to agree and be like "in" on the inside joke or the cliche that smart people, or at least people who actually read philosophy, can't also be super social or something. I actually think he meant it as a sort of complimentary and harmless joke, but then you had an ambivalent/negative reaction, so then he just awkwardly smirked. I think he probably expected you to say something like "nope, the fucking hate me out there" or "I don't like them either". In other words, I don't think it was a truly hostile remark. He wasn't actually trying to belittle or mock you...at least I don't think so.

>>9948643
She could have been flirting with you. Heck, even if she wasn't, you've had some conversation with her already, you could have tried asking her out.

>>9948568
This happened to me once, but they didn't mean anything by it. We even had a nice conversation afterwards.
It's them reacting to the fact that having a deeper interest in a certain subject like that usually requires time people usually spend on social activities.

>>9943327
>enter bookstore to buy a book for my sister's birthday
>three girls behind the counter talking
>spaghetti al dente
>"HELLO" i said to the unbelievable cute brunette
>"hi"
>they all stop talking and look at me, one is a redhead with humongous tits
>"HELLODOYOUHAVEDEMIANBYHERMANHESSE"
>"uhm, yeah sure" tells me the price "this is the only edition we have"
>"OKAY GIVE ME"
>give her the money
>grab book
>start running to the exit
>"wait wait wait! you forgot your book!"
>"oh" i turn around
>look at what i have in my hand, it's not even a book, it's a little notebook that slightly resembles a book
>go to the counter "sorry, i just grabbed whatever", i start to feel all the blood of my body flowing to my face
>the girls behind the brunette get up and go to the back, they're giggling and obviously messing with me
>i force an ankward smile
>the brunette laughs and says "hey, it's okay don't worry"
>i'm literally in love
>"i dunno, maybe i just wanted A book you know haha"
>we start talking random shit, she's over the top friendly and flirthy and trying to act cute, it feels forced and she's obviously waiting for me to make a move
>not gonna happen honey, i'm autistic
>i tell her i came here looking for a job once, she says she can talk to the owner if i want, i say no that's okay
>get out of bookstore
>haven't go back since late May

>>9950105
this was great

>>9948089
I regret behaving like this in my AP lit/lang classes at 16/17. Not reading is not cool, anon.

>>9952775
modern romance. tragic, yet poignant

File: d45.jpg (96KB, 800x437px) Image search: [Google]

96KB, 800x437px

>>9949444

> Be me
> Go to the bookstore
> While looking for a book I notice on the corner of my eye a teen that is as skinny as a skeleton going in my direction
> He has a horrible smell; I almost gag
> He bends over and picks up a book by a generic scientist that thinks that he is entitled to talk about ethics
> Despite there being some chairs he goes to the middle of the room, crosses his legs and holds the book with one hand while rubbing his chin with the other
> It's very obvious that he is not reading and that he is just waiting for someone to comment on him
> Not even 5 minutes pass and he has already given up on his intentions
> He doesn't even put the book back where he took it

Later...
> Find my book and head to the counter
> In front of me there's the guy
> When it's his turn he immediately tries to start a conversation
> "...well it can be supposed that if only people were to awarely want to be more well read the world would be a better place, but alas people would prefer comforting lies over the hard truth"
> The cashier rolls her eyes and hands him the change
> Despite her obviously showing annoyance he continues
> "I can also add that it is worrying how people are people are unable to think for themselves and how they constantly get lost over petty emotions. Furthermo-"
> I loudly cough and hope he gets the hint
> He gives me this disgusted look as if I've just admitted I am a pedophile
> His eyes are full of venom and hate
> "Ughh the nerve of some people! Well, i'll leave you be then!!!"
> He walks towards the exit, stops for a second, lets out a very loud and forced sigh and then starts walking again.

>>9952888
> "...well it can be supposed that if only people were to awarely want to be more well read the world would be a better place, but alas people would prefer comforting lies over the hard truth"
> The cashier rolls her eyes and hands him the change
One time I was outside a club, 5 beers down and enough weed that I couldn't even sit upright, and the guy who'd given me the joint was going on and on about sheeple and robots. I thought I was dying, but I still had the wherewithal to think: jesus christ, this guy's an idiot.

>>9943327
you fucks all are idiots

You probably think bimbos and sluts are literally retarded. The truth is, once you talk to them with the intention of not having sex with them you will discover lots of failed dreams and possibly some smart statements that they always wanted to say, but men were too busy trying her to suck their dicks.

It's really weird that most of you faggots think like this. Most autors had lots of sluts as friends, they would fuck them and then actually try to talk to them in a serious way.

>>9952945
I'm gonna be honest senpai, I've talked to a lot of female friends I've had and almost invariably the ones who fuck more men tend to be more stupid

This doesn't apply to men though

>>9943427
>still reading Kant in your twenties

W E W L A D
E
W

L
A
D

File: 1496765616661.jpg (40KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 400x400px

>>9952207

>>9953025
They are more stupid but they aren't complete airheads who don't care about anything but their facebook status. I unironically think bimbos and sluts wouldn't be like that if it wasn't for certain environment factors.
>>9953035
There's a big difference in reading Kant and understanding it. Most teens who read it just say like "holy crap bind mlown, this is really important I mean, dude like the spirit and shit like that".

One time I went to the bookstore while I was high as fuck, and they had a box of free books outside so I took a bunch, then went inside and asked for a free bag to carry it, and they said there's like a five cent charge for bags, but I didn't have a nickel on me. I told them I come to the store literally three times a day because I live nearby and they still refused to give me the bag, it was a gaggle of university students discussing some reddit meme shit, and I was holding forty fucking pounds of books. I was really upset by this but I couldn't convey it properly because I was high as balls and already autistic before ever getting high. So I tried to negotiate with them and explain that it's just five cents, and more importantly it's an informal rule imposed informally by the state, not by the fist of God or something, it's literally just a pile of plastic bags that they can throw all over the fucking floor if they really wanted and nothing will happen, there's nothing stopping them from handing me sixteen bags off the pile of bags, the fucking police won't arrive and count all the bags and tally up prison sentences at a ratio of one year per cent not charged. It's completely informal, it's not a law of reality itself, it's not BINDING in any way, plus I'm going to pay it back later anyway. More importantly my arms are going to be destroyed by carrying all these books back home. I tried to explain all of this but they just kept saying no, and they said "Dude you just got a bunch of free books, you should be happy :P haha" as if that justifies their category error of confusing "an informal bag tax" with "IMMUTABLE LAW OF REALITY CONCERNING THE DISTRIBUTION OF BAGS" and I wanted to try to explain to them how they were confusing the two, but I just left and said "LOGIC OF CAPITALISM!" really loudly. Not sure what I meant by it

File: 1483659762683.jpg (24KB, 347x402px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 347x402px

>>9952775
>Not gonna happen honey, I am the autism
F
>>9952724
Kys he is making this board better

>>9952902
>One time I was outside a club, 5 beers down and enough weed that I couldn't even sit upright, and the guy who'd given me the joint was going on and on about sheeple and robots. I thought I was dying, but I still had the wherewithal to think: jesus christ, this guy's an idiot.
Without that much irony, this is probably the most poignant and beautiful sentence I've read on /lit/ in a long time.

>>9945425
kecc

>>9950108
your fault for leaving home while contagious. i severely dislike your kind.

>>9951492
>>9952720
I swear it happened. Pretty sure I was crying about it in the discord the same day because it really just drained me of the will to live.

>>9951580
tell me more about your hot co-workers

>>9952724
obnoxious

>>9952902
he's right desu
>>9953091

>>9953091
>>9953171
you guys are seriously making me blush

File: 1503958975411.gif (2MB, 420x420px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 420x420px

>>9953155
the newest one we hired is some bird named addie. she's new to the city (college town) and is one of the sororities. she was honestly so pretty when she stopped in for her interview I told my store manager to hire her as a personal favor to me and she obliged

addie is 5'6" and has really warm chocolate brown eyes. her hair is sort of honey colored and since it's been humid recently a little frizzy and curly. she's got a generous 12 or so freckles kissing her face, right under her eyes and across the bridge of her nose. perky breasts, I'd say between A or B. she's a very petite person and she constantly breaks the dress code with dresses or skirts a few inches above the knee. she's quite tan and the knee high white socks she wears every so often really contrast well with her complexion.

she smells like vanilla and strawberry shortcake. her favorite show is criminal minds and she's pedestrian as hell but lord almighty would I smash.

she aspires to be involved in criminal investigation and her biggest kink is just really being talked down to.

Pls more

>>9953315
Be alpha and verbally abuse her at work for incompetence, bitches love that
Easiest way to get the girl

>>9953058
california?

>>9953378
Way ahead of you slick. Shes 18 and I'm 25 so the power balance is already getting her going. Our first shift when I was training her I was teasing her about being a teenager and that night she texted me how hot it was that I was making fun of her in front of other people.

I'm excited for more hires to start soon.

>>9943378
Kill yourself
I dont care If buying supports the author but downloading epubs is the real life equivalent of shitposting

>>9943327
you're an autist. *reads example, doesn't post example*

>>9953315
>>9953447
Holy shit, you just described this ultra hot 18 year old half Japanese freckled girl that just got hired at my work. The verbal abuse thing, Jesus it's perfect. She's been almost like goading me into it by acting like an airhead and having me walk her through simple transactions. Damn and she's been like complimenting my muscles and asking me leading questions about sex too...

I gotta separate her from her boring normie Chad BF. This shall be my finest work

Not bookstore, but used book stall:
>"do you have some hardbacks in English?"
>shows Fifty Shades of Grey, not even hardback
>"ok, do you have The Myth of Sisyphus?"
>"The Myth of Sisy-?"

Another book stall story:
>see Dead Souls hardback
>"how much is this?"
>"3$"
>he sees me contemplating buying this book and says "the book is good"
>realize he has no idea what i am hoilding in my hands
>"yes, i know it's good, but i don't know whether the translation is good"
>"i can give it to you for $2"
It's $15 new btw.

>Used bookstore not far from home
>Go there often
>One day I go there
>There's a few old people in there as usual
>Check out the new books she received
>The cashier is an old lady, probably in her mid 50s
>I'm a regular here so she often rounds up the price if I buy many books, and the books are already extremely cheap
>So, as usual, I head over to the classics section
>Pick up a few books that I plan on reading
>As usual
>Also find a real gem, a dictionary of movie directors, to be used for erudition
>Head over to the counter, she offers me like 10 or 12 dollars for 6 books, a great deal
>As usual
>Once home, go back to the basement to write my name in the books
>As usual
>Upon opening one of them, I find, written in neat little characters, at the top of the first blank page, a girl's name
>Next to it is a code, like 3-C or 4-P ; probably the numerics of a high school classroom
>This time was in fact like every other time I went to the used bookstore
>As usual

>goes in bookstore and finds only airport fiction, genre fiction and YA
>"do you have some classics?"
>"we have Stefan King"
>"oh, you mean Stephen King"

Another:
>buy some new translation of Brothers Karamazov
>"btw, will you publish some more Dostoevsky books in the near future?"
>"idk, it's not easy because his copyrights are very expensive"
Turns out the translation is trash. Unfortenately at that time I didn't know there's a thing called public domain.

>>9953447
What? How have you not fucked her? She obviously wants the dick.

>>9951696
holy shit
just fucking kill him if he comes again

>>9950662
how butthurt can you get

>>9953644

I present to you the /lit/ guide to philosophy:

Camus.

The end.

>>9953676

Was that the Pevear translation?

>>9953758
It's not English translation. Otherwise I would've checked it on internet.

>>9953723
No, she wants the balance of power to shift in her favour, which will happen if the anon makes a move and gets rejected.

I went to McDonald's yesterday and got a Filet-O-Fish combo and a Jalapeño Double. I was eating it in my vehicle in the parking lot and listening to an audio book when I glanced up and saw the McDonald's worker I ordered from was outside having a cigarette.

She waved at me and I nodded and had to wait 7 minutes before she went back inside and I could eat in comfort again. I don't think that employees should be bothering or even trying to socialize with customers outside of the McDonald's restaurant or drive through, but that is another story.

I went to McDonald's for dinner last night and got a Big Mac combo and a 10 piece Chicken McNuggets with barbecue dipping sauce. As I was driving to the second window the same girl was still working. She was acting somewhat obsequious and attempting small talk when she asked, 'why don't you come eat inside instead of in the parking lot'.

That really bothered me for many reasons. First of all, I don't want my routine or actions to be tracked by a fast food employee. Secondly, she should not try to tell me how I should live my life. I do not want to eat inside because I find it less comfortable and would much rather be inside my vehicle listening to an audiobook and enjoying myself and my privacy.

Overall, I think it was very unprofessional to bring this up. I should have a clean slate with each drive through visit, not have to get the third degree because I committed some sort of faux pas. Which I don't think I did, because I often see people eating in fast food parking lots. How does she know I am not busy going to work or somewhere in a rush?

>>9953723
The flirty banter and sexual tension is too fun. The cat and mouse is the best part of any relationship and as soon as I have sex with her I'll start to lose interest really fast.

Chase most important. It's the literary lifestyle.

>>9953819
Please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time, the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "extra-large, with extra sauce."
Who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it with extra sauce?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "extra sauce"?
Coming from a Yoshinoya veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. This is the vet's way of eating.
Extra green onion means more green onion than sauce. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the employees from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>9953819, should just stick with today's special.

>>9953961
is there some sort of penis inspection and falcons at this place?

Isn't it weird the way translations sound like the original language? Is there a word for that phenomenon?

Seeing Rupi Kaur's Milk and Honey everywhere I fucking turn.

>buying physical books
>buying books at all
LMAO

I think it's time to kill myself

>>9954338
There's no ebook version of the Monogatari series, anon. Other than Kizu, which was digitized by hand.

If there was, I'd've downloaded them.

>>9950105
Beautifully blunt autism

>>9948089
unironically kys

>>9953515
What, how?

>>9949901
>she's randy
what the fuck did he mean by this

>>9948591
>> "What's Nietzsche?"
this was dismissal not ignorance lmao

>>9954551
Keep on reading.

>>9953644
>realize he has no idea what i am hoilding in my hands
You were holding his life in your hands anon

>>9953819
You should write short stories

File: 1462325170797.jpg (13KB, 240x180px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 240x180px

>>9951696

>>9953819
Is this some new level of autism?

>>9953315
> her biggest kink is just really being talked down to.

How did you figure this out?

>>9953819
look at this beta faggot writing that long ass bullshit just to humble brag that some chick that works at mcdonalds may have interest in the dee

>>9954808
>How did you figure this out?

Because her first shift we worked together, I was teasing her for being so young. Generally making fun of her for being a teenager (she's 18) and uneducated; as well as ribbing her for making rookie mistakes. I was a bit more sarcastic than I normally would be with customers when I was with her that day. At the end of the shift I had her give me her phone so I could put my number in and later that night she texted me and told me how hot it was that I more or less told her how superior I am to her all day and really put her in her place.

>>9954872
will someone please gas this normie, thx

>tfw some asshole on lit who doesn't even understand IJ is swimming in young pussy and you can't even talk to girls

What's your favorite book BNormal

>>9943327
>BandN
>looking for some book
>Decide to turn in an isle to cross to the other side
>at the end of the isle this skinny guy with clothes way to big for him reading a book sees me.
>Stares at me with a Smells-Really-bad gesture on his face.
>I look at him and he panics
>I am still on the other edge of the isle
>Guy freaks out and runs away

I was walking through the Sci-fi isle, of course.

>>9954872
she's ripe for the picking anon, pop her like a berry

I was about 12 or 13 and a Angus Robertson recently opened in my town and I *really* wanted a copy of The Silmarillion. They didn't have any in stock but told me they had LOTR in stock, I told them I had already read them (why else would I want The Silmarillion?). I use to go into that store everyday after school asking if my book had arrived. Finally the day it did I was so excited I kinda, let out a little squeal. Of course standing behind was the "cool kid" at School, who told everyone that I was a little gay girly boy who squeals at books. Haunts me, so cringey.

>>9955303
Nothing wrong with showing excitement and happiness over books.

>>9955303
sounds pretty girly and gay dude
he did you a favor

>>9949536
That anon is talking about the decline of American education when reading an assigned book doesn't really mean shit if you're not interested in what you're reading and are just doing it for the grade. I read through most of the books they gave us cause some of them were interesting, but they didn't really make me any smarter.

>in a second hand bookshop browsing
>stop to pick up the store owners cat (which is black- this is important)
>woman comes in, asks where the occult section is
>she starts talking to the bookshop owner about finding the portal heaven, aliens, etc. usual crazy lady
>suddenly she jerks around and sees me with the cat
>starts yelling about "demons and their familiars"
>runs at me
>trips over, starts speaking in tongues and having a spas attack
>store owner calls the cops and ambulance
>she's taken away
Mostly I feel bad for the cat. It was terrified.

>>9946930
She was hoping you'd plant your seed inside of her and was disappointed when she thought you were already married with a kid.

>>9954350
Anon said with a posed look.

>>9950105

>(mask of confusion) intensifies

File: image.jpg (1MB, 1280x1024px)

1MB, 1280x1024px

>>9943414
What is Mimi?

>>9956572

The 4chan app

>>9948648

This post is Dosto-esque

File: 1420966697439.png (459KB, 500x579px) Image search: [Google]

459KB, 500x579px

>>9952477

>mfw

By God, I hope this story is fake..

>>9956342
Publish it as an unearthed forgotten Bulgakov story

>get food poisoning from gray ground beef food truck burrito
>think I'm probably done vomiting after two days
>enter B&N and head to drama section
>examine a copy of Murder in the Cathedral
>strawberry blond qt walks up next to me
>pulls out No Exit
>feel churning
>she starts asking me about eliot
>stumble towards biographies
>manage to swallow most of it but some spills out onto a borges bio

>>9948617
Spoon feed me please

>>9948591
>Neitzsche
>nihilism

You've demonstrated that you understand neither assuming a position of intellectual authority over another. Congratulations on being the perfect /lit/ poster.

>>9953805
autism
it's better to make a move
if you make the move and you win you get pussy
if you make the move and get rejected you don't have to waste your time thinking about her anymore

>>9943327
>Be in bookstore
>See black man perusing shelves
>Laugh internally because I know he can't read

File: AD.jpg (40KB, 364x364px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 364x364px

>>9943327
So glad this is still here.

>go to used bookshop yesterday
>have headphones in but not listening to anything
>two girls come in
>browse around
>they head to Shakespeare section
>one says to the other
>can you guess my most hated Shakespeare play?
>umm Hamlet?
>no
>Twelth Night?
>no
>Titus Andronicus
>never heard of that
>King Lear?
Haven't heard of that
>I give up
>It's Othello
>why?
>because even then Shakespeare knew of the social systems used against black people to justify crimes against them, but instead of helping he contributed to the hate

I was stupified

>>9958129
>even then Shakespeare knew of the social systems used against black people to justify crimes against them

>mfw I have no mfw appropriate for this

>>9945354
>reading assigned books
The only pleb move here was buying it in the first place

>>9958129
>have headphones in but not listening to anything
I too am stupefied

>>9958277
tfw you want to listen to people but you don't want to know you're listening to them

>>9958129
he literally only used Othello to make some shitty metaphor about light and darkness

My autism story

>Be young strapping lad
>Hang out with my love interest, 9/10 redhair qt
>we go to a used book store, like we always did after our Mesopotamian history class
>Browse the french literature section, kneeling to access a old tome underneath a pile
>She puts her bag on my back as I do so, using me as a stool
>I'm quite grated by this, glance at her and say, without thinking
>"you have to pay the 'touch butt tax' if you keep on doing this"
>It was a common joke between me and my friend before I moved out of my natal town
>She looks at me in disgust, promptly removing her bag and disdainfully replies, "no?"
>Spaghetti

I miss her

>>9958323
Sounds like she was just friendzoning you and became disgusted when you actually showed a backbone.

>>9958277
I had finished listening to a podcast

File: 1363401164155.gif (3MB, 960x540px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 960x540px

>>9950105
>are you alluding to the thinness of the volume?

Gets me every time.

File: 1485824239405.png (156KB, 330x319px)

156KB, 330x319px

>>9948617

>>9948089
yeah I did this too, still read a lot tho

>>9949249
why do people say pittsburgh pa, there's not many pittsburghs

>>9947594
this reads like murikami

>>9948568
I think he was telling you to through the knowledge out the window and party

>>9948918
look at gnome chomsly over here can parse grammar

>>9948918
>short childlike voice
What did he mean by that?

>>9948753
Isn't the rack a machine of human suffering?

>>9949366
Do you live in the democratic republic of the congo?