This got published. What's YOUR excuse? Well, /lit/?

File: 1310429527116.jpg (15KB, 376x368px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 376x368px

>>9924694
>putting your name on a piece of fiction

>>9924694
/lit/ BTFO

File: images (1).jpg (12KB, 247x204px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 247x204px

>>9924694
>Vangel
FUCK WHY COULDN'T I THINK OF THAT

>Lucipires (demon vampires)
This demonstrates a staggering ignorance of folklore and theology.

Was this a result of a continual progression in the genre or did it begin solely in fanfiction?
e.g were fully grown women writing shit like this before teenage girls did in the early 2000's or are they merely writing it to get an audience?

>>9924775
Anne Rice has been doing it for 40+ years.

>>9924694
what would be the point of reading the book after reading the blurb? it's basically the whole story
well i guess the quality of the writing must be particularly gripping

>>9924694
> the publisher is literally a brand of make-up

Was there any surprise

File: 2017-08-22_1225.png (137KB, 1108x830px) Image search: [Google]

137KB, 1108x830px

>>9925023
>well i guess the quality of the writing must be particularly gripping
obviously i meant that as a joke but now i've looked at the book i see the joke is on me
i mean who could possibly compete with writing of this caliber
i especially like the way the vikings make jokes about the english spellings of words

>>9925042
She really likes talking about cocks, that woman. I suspect this was written by a gay man.

>>9925048
Her bio is bizarrely detailed so I retract my suspicions. https://www.sandrahill.net/bio.html

>>9925042
if this is all it takes to get published, clearly i need to be writing the crap too

>>9924694
Fucking Christ. This would've been enough for me to have topped myself a few months back.

It's unbelivably awful; like the Holocaust, Thatcherism and the priniciple of inherited rule condensed into a single, mangy black hole that can attract airbourne diseases and billionairesses from half a universe away.

>>9924694
Please tell me this is self-published. I have the revolver ready. Just tell me. Hell, secretly I might wish it's not self-published. Leaving would have never been easier!

>>9925042
>a really big man!

Go on...

>>9925365
>He. Did. Not. Care.

>>9924694
This has to be partially comedy right?
It's hilarious.
>vangel turns cowboy. Yeehaw!
That's Pynchonesque.

>>9924694
Romance readers are the thirstiest market out there. If you want to get paid to write fiction, smut has the lowest barrier to entry. They love tropes, which helps explain the weird hodgepodge of shit in OP's pic. Writing quality comes second (or third or fourth or never) for these readers.

Source: I've self-published smut and genre fiction. The smut sells itself, anything else is a major uphill battle.

File: Screenshot_2017-08-22-21-24-04-880_org.mozilla.firefox.png (319KB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [Google]

319KB, 1080x1920px

>>9924694
I have none.

File: 1503282266035.jpg (100KB, 763x720px) Image search: [Google]

100KB, 763x720px

>>9924694
>>9925042
>Cnut
pure genius

>>9926166
Cnut was literally a name used back in the Dark Ages around the British Isles and also around Scandinavia.

>>9924694

To be fair, two noted literary agents did claim to read the entirety of my first novel before rejecting it

;__;

File: 1498788017049.jpg (108KB, 1440x435px) Image search: [Google]

108KB, 1440x435px

>All the people in the thread who don't know Sandra Hill

Hundreds of thousands of books are published every year.
Only like 1% sell above 1000 copies.

>>9924779
I feel like there's been a clear degradation, though. Anne Rice looks like fucking Cervantes compared to most "urban fantasy."

At least its not pretentious pseudo-intellectual wankage written for mindless dolts who "started with the Greeks."

>>9927918
idiots start with the greeks
geniuses start with the sumerians

>vangel
>cnut

>>9927928

>not starting with the aborigional dreamtime, 48,000 BCE

>>9925042
God is dead, we killed him. Also post the PDF

>>9926228
Holy fuck, I needed a good laugh.

>>9924694
Shit like this is why nobody take Continental Philosophy seriously.

>>9926166
tfw not smart enough for cnut siggurdsson

>>9925042
>frigg's-day

>>9927961
frigg off, cnut

File: 3679970368_2a2218e3bc_o.png (210KB, 579x797px) Image search: [Google]

210KB, 579x797px

>>9924694
So did "Moon People"

>>9928020
Sweet Jesus. I'm 5000 times more likely to stub my toe than I am to crack open a book and even I know that's atrocious. I mean, fuck. Content aside, who proofread that?

>>9925042
>a really big man!

for you

>>9926228
this was proven fake but it's still great to read

>>9928020
Wow. '...you can see the launch real good at her place. It's also on the water and it's real close to the cape and she really decks the place out.'

>>9925042
this is the peak of post-metamodernist literature

He. Did. Not. Care.

>>9926166
one of the most prolific germanic kings in history was named cnut.

>>9928270
>I'm 5000 times more likely to stub my toe than I am to crack open a book
why are you here?

>>9929716
I work in a toe stub factory.

File: giggle.gif (2MB, 245x245px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 245x245px

>>9929723

>>9927947
No, because we're only interested in literature written by humans

File: hawt milf.jpg (15KB, 250x355px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 250x355px

>>9925050
Would you?

>>9925365
for you

>>9926228
>Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands.
i've said it before, this is too funny to be unintentional

>>9925277
Go back to Re ddit, what you just said was 10x worse then the book. Just end it t b h