Reminder that it's up to /lit/ to save poetry.

I can feel his chest on mine.
(This wicked future's warped your mind)
He hugged me to tell me he loved me,
(I didn't say to think that way)
and I hugged right back.

Years had passed among us in silence.
A love that didn't end in violence,
(It's perfect now though, isn't it?)
but a branch life's hands had split.

We never remembered to communicate,
so this dammed reunion burst the floodgate--
Filling thirsty rivers under the tree
of our early childhood friendship.

>tfw no one will read your poetry because it's not in english

throbbing in my mouth
the juicy entrails
of the penis

make me whole and
wiser than yesterday
for the moth burns brighter
than the flaming eidolon

my dick is an anchor
blue and cold
come in, please
come in

Is it normal to rewrite entire blocks of lines cause you're stuck with a bad rhyme?
Cause that's what I do, along with rhymezone, is it just a matter of practice makes perfect?
Or did the poets just have an intuition about this?

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leaked pic from The Illustrated Rupi Kaur

>>9916608
I call it: "Despacito"

Like filling me with cum, up the bum,
or chugging it down, down in my tum.
cocks slamming in my face,
piss running down my waist,
slurping up some gobfuls of cum getting
stuck in my eyes,
dribbling down my sticky chin,
i scoop it in my asshole like a greasy shitfilled cumdumster.
it mixes with my poo like a cocktail in my butt;
I’m made of trash you thrashmetal cuck.
fill me daddy, i want it all,
wipe my cock off when your done
Thats what despacito makes me feel like.

>>9916633
don't rhyme dude

>>9916633
Free verse, y'all

>>9916633
It's a common beginner practice. Once writing poetry becomes more fluid, it's not a good practice to keep for it spoils the freshness. You can tell when I poem has been adjusted after being written because when writing a poem, you tend to unconsciously choose words which phonetically relate as well as hold image. It's a delicate web which may still function, but it's patched strands mar it's original designs.

>>9916642
>>9916647
Fuck this; rhyme can be just as sublime as metric footing. Pseuds like to believe that since they grasped rhyme before meter, meter is patrician. But each are powerful and key instruments to a piece's design. Whatever fits best with the idea you wish to covey is what should be used.

>>9916660
nah rhyme sounds like kiddie lit. dont use it

why is r/4chan so epic bros

>>9916660
shut up bitch, challenge me to a poem battle. i'll do metric footing and you can rhyme, and we'll see who is better.

I'll start:

Hey man fuck
you and your rhymes
my giant cock
is engorged with
passion
please bend your knees,
rest them (on the floor) you
slut, i am
ridiculously horny

>>9916691
BECAUSE I LOVE DICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

>>9916700
can i have some of yours please sir. for i too love penis, in my bumhole most particularly

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Thoughts on my poetry?

>>9916728
Oh wow I really like the imagery anon!

>>9916728
If this isn't bait, you don't know how to use language at the level you're trying to use it at.

>>9916737
S-sorry

>>9916739
For example, there's no reason to use the word "daemon" instead of "demon" in that context other than the fact that you were trying to force your piece to sound more antiquated as if that would somehow make it better.

>>9916744
>no reason
Vowel sounds my guy, I'll try incorporate some assonance

>>9916750
You used pallid twice

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>>9916616

>>9916755
Yeah, it's a first draft, I changed it but uploaded the old screenshot.

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Here's something

>>9916750
aren't daemon and demon pronounced the same though??

>>9916798
Thought it was day-mon, shows how much of a pleb I am

>>9916798
yes lol
>inb4 "daymon"

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>>9916798
>>9916750
>>9916744
but... demon and daemon aren't synonyms

>>9916807
Oh shit, I'm even more of a pleb

The cruel sun, even as it sets,
mocks an asbestos phoenix
which neither starts or expires
but spends the day, and the night,
holding its tiny breath.

>>9916812
well, the way I see it at least:

>demon
evil supernatural being in christianity, etc

>daemon
neutral/benevolent deities in greek mythology

this is probably one of those cases where people have been using it this way for so long that it's officially ''correct'' to call them synonyms, but I feel every choice of word in a poem should be deliberate, and if you choose to put daemon over demon, when I read it, I'll think it alludes to the ancient daimons.

>>9916807
but he didn't know that

>>9916832
in keeping with the Greek pronunciation, the vowel bit in 'daemon'/'daimon' should be said like 'eye'/'hi'/'guy'

>>9916651
cool opinion tim

Follow Maupaussant and his mentor, Flaubert.

>Flaubert believed in, and pursued, the principle of finding "le mot juste" ("the right word"), which he considered as the key means to achieve quality in literary art. He worked in sullen solitude—sometimes occupying a week in the completion of one page—never satisfied with what he had composed.
>In Flaubert's correspondence he intimates this, explaining correct prose did not flow out of him and that his style was achieved through work and revision. - Wiki

Misery laid next to you,
Her young supple cadaver slightly touching yours.
Oozing with sadness she begged for you, the expeller of her daemons for liberation.

But instead you admired them. Caressing them,you tried to understand them. He saw them at night when they returned to her for rest.

Misery realizing she could never be pleasure to the young man, Crazed of herself she thought of the ultimate release.

>>9916616
Fuck off Skyler your shit is melodramatic and wack.

>>9917243
Im surprised you recognized me by an older piece of mine and no trip desu

>>9916608
That moment when this book was translated and the translator fixed the bad writting and the book isent as bad as in english.

>>9918033
That's honestly hilarious. A translator knew it was garbage so they upped the content--10/10 story idea.

>>9917004
>He worked in sullen solitude—sometimes occupying a week in the completion of one page—never satisfied with what he had composed.

Me desu except instead of a page a week it can be a stanza.

>>9916684

Slant rhymes are patrician though

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>>9916634

wow, you guys are all really good at writing poetry!

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>>9916692
>says fuck rhyme
>still rhymes
>still posts the poem

>>9916684
Anon you are an idiot.

My poem. Thoughts?

Still life

A girl of a white dress is holding a jittery basket.
And on the table
Two tangerines,
And on the street a passerby.

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>>9918299
Is the basket not supposed to be still? "Jittery" gives me a still picture with only the laundry basket shaking.
Similar concept to pic related

dont try saving poetry by writing your own bullshit, try saving it by reading good poetry and encouraging people to do the same. there's enough good poetry to go around and last pretty much forever, but nobody's reading it. its a lot easier and more instantly satisfying to look at a Screen

does anyone else write anonymous poetry on twitter? i recently started an account. it's very freeing to write without being tied to a corporeal body.

>>9918568
No, I use twitter for aphorisms. Not enough space for poetry. I only ever posted one poetic-esque quip on there:

God is you at death deciding if you rightly earned it.

>>9916728
I like the squiggly autocorrect line.

>>9918309
You're not getting it anon, it's a basket used to store jitteries

>>9916684

I want to be
A poet
Intellectual
Rhymes are not for me, nor elegant ramblings of
Dead white males; I am a pseud,
Proud, transcendent in my
Ignorance, and you can never
Change my mind.

>>9916798
>Fæces/Pædophile
>Feces/pedophile

Pronounced the same except American English say "pehdohfile" and "peedohfile" sounds ridiculous to us. The æ as far as I can tell is almost always pronounced as a long E in English, despite being more of a long I in the Latin from whence it came.

Hence the original Greek Daimon/Paides. In classical Greek this is pronounced "ah-ee" which inevitably runs together into a long I sound

>>9918065
And you're not Flaubert

can anyone post >white people give me money

>>9918743
Similar qualities are exerted from similar minds, especially when untaught.

Somebody
Once
Told me
The world
Was
Gonna roll me
I
Ain't
The sharpest
Tool
In the
Shed

>>9918665
Post twitter

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>>9919132

>>9916620
Related but how does poetry work in those countries where they hate vowels like poland, hungary etc?

>>9916651
Terrible advice.

What he's doing is completely normal, and something most poets do.
There's a big difference between something feeling spontanious and actually being that.
Read Coleridge or whatever.

I'm an artist started Barbarra turned barbarous Targaryen
Bar baron and a bard, working marvels while I'm burying
Any targets lurking barred in the margins, obituaries, then
Put in charge of being martyrs harder than dark Aryans

Rippity Rap
I eat chicken and I'm fat
McDs McDs
Three for free!

It's a New Era, waging jihads in G hats
First fitted to cap but now we snap back
Break vertebrae and beat ass
In the next pane of the comic strip you'll be capped with three gats
Cap the action with a caption like "Egads!"
Beef slapped raw, no need to heat that
I got my old best chef beat back sleezy,
The cook I keep's Vietnamese, he
Disappear these cats

>>9916608
christened by the cold harsh air
the spreading thin of the velveteen glaze
the long hard contractions of newly working lungs
wrung its body in convulsive screams
from which it protests its subtraction
from the tranquil world it knew so kindly
how too sweet this womb had been
the babe not yet to suckle
withdrawal into life
punishment worse than death

I'm tired of backstabbing-ass snakes with friendly grins
Tired of committing so many sins
I'm tired of giving in when the bottle of Henny wins
I'm tired of never having any ends
I'm tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and mini thins
I'm tired of the DJ playing your shit when he spins
I'm tired of never having a deal
I'm tired of having to deal with the bullshit without grabbing the steel
I'm tired of drowning my sorrows
I'm tired of never having a dollar fof gas to start the Monte Carlo
I'm tired of people spraying shit and darting off
I'm tired of jobs starting off at $5.50 an hour then this boss wonders why I'm smartin' off
I'm tired of being fired every time I fart and cough
I'm tired of having to work for the gas station clerk with the jerk breathing down my neck driving me berserk
I'm tired of using plastic silverware
I'm tired of not working at the building square
Tired of not being a millionaire

The elder oak by the brook
The younger oak looks up
"Elder oak, wast ya stand op der hrund? Ye bent tway elt und scraggling"
"Weil, wee welk, may ben tu hurr wan ard an rok, laik der tor, an grossa rok, allas ben hur. We ook ben hur allas, as es wein plass. Wan kilted us, bay kranken of bay elden aj, het es wain nattur. Wey bent natturtjes, allas is so"

My cousin hit me up and said he had to post bail again
'Cause my brother's back in jail again
Back in that slave ship 'cause he tried to sell again
And all that's going through my mind is, "How the fuck am I failing him?"

These youngins want all of the spoils with none of the toils
It's got me climbing the walls
Too good to press olives but he'll be the first squeaky wheel asking for oil
I been at it for ten years, what the fuck is you on?
Got me frustrated like, "What the fuck are you doing?"
He comes to me for answers but I don't know what to tell him
Part bad parenting, part youthful rebellion
He wants to buy a dream but I don't know what to sell him
They say the streets turn men into sinners
But the jail cell is turning men into dinner
So they sing in the summer, be home by the winter
Interrogation rooms are turning men into tenors/tenners
And he's no singer but put him on that block, he's got a perfect pitch
I just want him to understand that you work for this
Such an empty feeling, you win or you lose
But it's either me or the streets and, brother, you've gotta choose
(Who loves you more?)

I got a room and a microphone
And all this time
I just sat by the window
And looked inside
I didn't like what I found
You win or lose
Make a living or have a life
I guess that I gotta choose

Break bread with your fellow man
Show love but look out for your heart
And always take care of home
Because home is where charity starts