PLZ CRITIQUE

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Short story about Mom's death in June 2017
I want to be a great writer so please tear it up or say something bad.
This has ~ 300 words, I want to end up with >3000.

SILENCE, MORTAL BEINGS ---
VAIN GRANDEURS, SILENCE ---

Her death was surreal. the three of us watched it. It still does not make sense. Maybe it made sense to the nurse: Just another night shift in palliative care. I could say this: what I saw was paranormal. But life after death, NO. The family with their prayers. Everybody adhering to "Destination: Heaven." Well fuck a God that creates us to worship him. God is too human. I filed faith away as myth long, long ago.

When they took the tube out, she flinched. I felt her annoyance somewhere deep inside myself. She tensed as if to puke. Her nose wrinkled and she grimaced. The most active I had seen her all day. I know we all leaned in and braced ourselves. Was she hurting or was that an involuntary response? Could she feel that annoyance? Probably just us.

They tell you all kinds of things to make you feel better like the meds are strong enough. She's comfortable. Someone even said that this bag here -- this is the drug that Michael Jackson couldn't get enough of. I am numb, I am crying, I have been both for hours now.

One cannot know. How can you know? If they say they do they will lie to you with fear and love behind their eyes.

Mom swallowed hard. The nurse lifted her head and rearranged the pillows. For a moment, mom's eyes opened. I had wished for this for hours. She looked right at me. I was still and I remember saying "Ma?" and searching for hope of maybe saying goodbye, or hello, or anything. Her eyes. She wasn't looking at me. Wasn't looking through me. She was in a coma and liver failure. There was nothing behind those eyes. Her eyes opened unnaturally and all that shone back at me was an abyss. Blackness. Void.

Her blood was poisoned. Her brain was awash in toxins. The inevitability had arrived. We were numb. We understood the abstract nature of "passing." Here was that abstraction. Blurry and staticy, with some blind spots. Speak, memory. Tell me again what happened.