write what is on your mind

>>9888962
I have nothing to add.

Please talk to me, I want to know if you are doing it fine.

File: mariscalnieto_peru.jpg (414KB, 1800x1200px) Image search: [Google]

414KB, 1800x1200px

>>9888962
Over the past week, what with the Premier League, a Red Sox-Yankees series, and the IAAF World Championships all happening; I've felt a bit lost amidst consuming so much analysis and hot takes et cetera. Combining this with my usual browsing of letsrun, /lit/, /sp/, /r/peloton, and fangraphs and I am lost. Occasionally I run into up against this wall where it is inarguable that I am consuming more content than I am creating. Noticing this, I spend several days moaning about this fact before returning to normal. Since switching fields of study to math and computer science from art I have not written much.

Now, after graduating and landing a job that pays well and all, I am more lost than usual at this point.

And so I want to return to writing. A few days ago I thought to contact a mentor from severa, years ago about how to 'get back into' writing again.

But I know the answer.

There is no substitute for actual writing, pen to the page, blood, sweat, and tears, etc. A truth I want to ignore but obviously cannot. This is day one. Ideally I will be able to apply my discipline from other parts of my life to the pursuit of writing.

More than likely by next Monday I will have forgotten this goal.

At this point it may be rather obvious that I have nothing new to say. To this I want to add "Well, who does?" And of course the answer is 'some people.'

Even in my most productive periods I never knew what to say in prose writings. So I will withhold poetry until I've written so many useless words and sentences. And so this thread.

>>9888979
Depends on your definition of fine I suppose. I have a good job, attended elite high school and private colleges. Graduated from a directional state college, landing a well paying job in a field I am good at but do not necessarily love.

I find myself drawn recently more toward what shaped my formative years, 'intellectual' magazines and critiques, etc. To make a guess this is the beginning of a rebirth. I have remade myself physically, and athletically time and time again. Now I must rework the cognitive side.

Of course in advance I'll say that I have no sense of style or voice anymore and so anything you (YOUR) read here will be wooden and un original.

I get what you mean about feeling lost. It actually motivates me to write, although I suppose not in the same way as you. I didn't really know whether to reply here but I decided it couldn't hurt or at least didn't really matter.

I don't know why I want to write. I'm not skilled enough to put all the parts of poetry together in a way I truly appreciate, and I'm incapable of telling any narrative. The best I can do is write short, overly symbolic descriptions of singular settings and/or events.

But if there's one thing I can do okay, it's talk. I don't really know what you were looking for, but I'll write for you anyway. I'll write what's on my mind. I'll continue in a reply to this, for the sake of brevity, I guess.

>>9889252
cont.

What's on my mind and in my life now, and it is perhaps similar to what I see here in this thread, is the desperate sense of discontent. I feel like discontent itself is a feeling more terrible than true unhappiness, terror, disgust, etc. What I have in my life is a looming lack of comfort, this growing feeling that even though I have everything I should want and my life is completely on track, I still feel profoundly uneasy about everything.

That's the problem with discontent. To use a political analogy, if a dictator makes conditions unbearable then the people will revolt. If there is, such as the case with the current political climate in a number of western nations, merely a sense of discontent with the current state of affairs, then nothing will happen.

The problem is that I have this feeling of unease, I can't feel comfortable with my life or the direction in which it is headed, but nonetheless nothing is overtly wrong. Nothing is so offensive to the point where I need to change.

As much as I want to break out of it all, as much as I want to change everything, I have nothing to justify it except this feeling of unease, this discontent. I think that discontent is a much more powerful thing than people give it credit for.

I guess it really sounds like a first world problem, just feeling uneasy about things, but even if I'm not starving or fighting a war or suffering in any great way, that doesn't mean my life is fine or that this sense of discomfort doesn't exist.

People with that sort of suffering at least have something to care strongly about, and I only wish I did. I feel trapped in this grey area and I don't know how to leave it. I really doubt I ever will.

File: nenenereading.png (1MB, 1317x889px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1317x889px

i think i'm ok if my writing never grows to anything more than a hobby. i was reading Knausgaard, in the section about his uncle who writes the occasional poem while working a dull, menial job. it really resonated with me. what does it matter as long as i can enjoy making my art and occasionally have it read? the amount of money i would have to make to actually quit my job and maintain my current lifestyle is pretty absurd. even if i got a fucking novel published i would likely only earn 10k. i can't subsist on that.

it kind of feels like i'm giving up, i suppose, but ironically i'm writing more and working harder at the whole process than i ever have.

of course, i still don't really want to stay in my current job for that much longer. i think i'll either find a more ethical programming job (for a research lab, maybe?) or get my phd in computer science. either way i really enjoy reading. 100% not memeing, nothing gives me immersion like well written language.

When doing fast reading or not paying attention to what I read, I usually end the paragraph and start reading it backwards. Am I the only one who does this?

File: nabokovi.jpg (119KB, 800x1012px) Image search: [Google]

119KB, 800x1012px

Not being "serious" about literature *might* be the only way to write serious literature, after all.

Anyway I might write a short disquisition on how tits are existentially superior to ass if my motivation returns/after I get some sleep/if anyone notices me and asks me to.

>>9889856
>nothing gives me immersion like well written language
Yup. I used to think other mediums were better but ever since I've started paying attention I'm seeing just how abysmally denser literature can be.

File: 1501214207131.png (16KB, 991x1753px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 991x1753px

>>9889911
Notices THIS. If anyone notices THIS. Heh. Fucking Freudian slips.

Why can't I relax and cherish the simple pleasures in life? I'm too obsessed with politics and philosophy. I hold too many controversial opinions and I hate that most people disagree with me. I don't know how to become at peace when the world is so different from how I want it. I have a deep desire to pursue politics, to change the winds of the nation, but I know how unlikely my success will be. I know how easy it will be to attain a comfortable career, but surely I will soon be bored. I really think I have a problem. I want to be famous. I want to be honored. There are too many career choices out there. Sometimes I wish we lived in an anarcho-primitive state without technology and order. Ted Kazcynski was too right. I have little autonomy over the world around me and it's causing feelings of powerlessness. I overreact to everything and overthink my memories. If I ever have a memory that is too strong and upsetting, I imagine myself jamming a pistol into my temple. Not shooting, but hitting myself over and over to make the bad memory go away. I really don't like this world. But I have no faith for any religion to comfort myself. I have so many negative feelings for everyone and everything, and I just feel alone. I know that I am intelligent ( 36 ACT) but I don't know if I am insane. But what's really sad is that I don't even know what would make me happy. I feel as though I'm forced to live a life I don't want, but I don't know how to get what i want.

I can't stand my mom. Everytime I'm around her I want to shoot her. She's lazy, dumb, and rude. To top it off, I have misophonia, so everytime she makes a sound I get angry. Her heavy, loud, breathing; her nasty, blowfish, smacking mouth, and her deep, southern voice. If I had a nickel for everytime she said the word "um," cleared her throat, made a smacking sound with her mouth, or said "right" over the phone in the most lazy, southern, way imaginable, I would buy an RPG and shoot her fucking throat. She says the dumbest things and has horrible money habits. God, I hate her.

File: 03abb1b173ea58c864422c8a7936687e356b91c2_hq.jpg (39KB, 683x525px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 683x525px

>>9889923
>Why can't I relax and cherish the simple pleasures in life?
Because the simple pleasures in life don't exist. You feel at ease when you deal with things, with the difficulties of life on their own ground and don't let tomorrow bother today when it shouldn't. Let yourself make a mistake or two if only to see the difference. As you are, you're letting your desire to enjoy get in the way of enjoying.

>I hate that most people disagree with me.
Stop pretending you're nice and just joke about it. People will lower their defenses when you lower yours. Just say what you mean without being an asshole, you know how to do it.

>>9889977
That fucking ending though.

>>9889977
I'm literally Hitler though

On one end I am still actively fighting the haunts of my existential crisis, along with all the difficulties that come with -- on the other, I have two dates in the next few weeks and want to enjoy living. How do I end this weird void inside me so I can get on with the process of being a normie and being-in-the-world? I wish I was just a full fledged answer seeker or a full-time normie, but juggling both is philosophically distressing. Wish there was something I could read about this.

>>9889995
After ep 4 nothing phased me. The more I think about it, the more bullshit it gets. It's almost impressive.

>>9890001
Have you ever joked about gassing Jews? I wonder if Hitler ever about gassing Jews.

>>9890003
Steppenwolf?

>>9890028
I've read Steppenwolf but it just shows how if you're not ready (self-actualized) you'll still lose everything and go back to being a dirty 50 year old man (please tear this critique apart)

>>9890031
I dunno. I alaways thought the ending of Steppenwolf was him going out into the world to live the rest of his life. But then I didn't care much for that book myself because everyone in it annoyed me. I don't think there's any way to be ready however. You can be prepared, but to be prepared you have to know what you're doing. You can be informed (by someone else), but you can't be actual-ized and be already ready.

tfw no jc gf

File: 36389146071_2d7e887f32_k.jpg (391KB, 2048x1189px) Image search: [Google]

391KB, 2048x1189px

people will always find something to segregate & divide each other… If it’s not race, it’s gender. If it’s not gender it countries. If it’s not countries it’s states. If it’s not states it’s neighborhoods, schools or sports team. It’s a way for small, weak-minded indivduals to feel bigger than they really are. I know it sucks to think about it but trying to get everybody to treat each other equal is impossible. With that being said, Sororites & Fraternities are for lames who were never socially accepted in life.

That’s what you get when you keep expanding the neocortex. You open up potential. Not all potential is nice and neat and good for the world. You get Genocide, Financial Ruin, Rape, Murder, Gluttony, Greed and processed food. But you also get cities, language, culture, jazz, philosophy, computer programming and theoretical physics.

>>9890121
I don't think the processed food is that bad. In a weird way, despite being very poor, it's kind of beautiful. Human beings have made all these systems that somehow manage to coincide into bringing pseudo-fruits into most everyobody's houses. I find malls to be strangely captivating; I don't even care about buying anything, I just want to look at things--it's not like there's anything to them other than surfice, most of the time anyway. As much as people hate capitalism, part of the reason they want to get out of it is because it'll be a pity when it goes down.

>>9890111
Why should unique things be treated uniformly?

One must order mind.. I took a walk the other day for about an hour and a half at sunset. I was thinking about death, not in the depressing way like 'I want to die,' but just exploring the idea of non-existence. I returned home at about 10:30 and took off my headphones (I had been listening to vaporwave) and at that moment I entered into a new state of consciousness, I was overcome with a sense of confused curiosity, like finding yourself on an alien world looking through the eyes of a new life form.

I've had a similar experience while meditating. For a couple of weeks I decided to concentrate on the feeling of my eyes and face, attempting to erase their tension (just an exploration mainly) and I began waking up at night with that confused curiosity about the sensation of my face. It was like experiencing a deeper realness of the actual oddity of feeling a face (cheeks, sensitive lips, my tongue) they felt foreign and I completely dissociated myself from the tension behind my eyeballs which I had spent a lifetime associating myself with 'i'.. The me. I Became my body and not some abstract consciousness. I felt like an actual body and not a spirit.. I'm not sure how to explain it.

After my walk I felt similarly.. But it wasn't my body that was experienced as a deeper realness but mind itself.. Or rather, I saw the reality of the unreality of the world that mind creates. I saw the completeness of the body and actual purpose of mind.. Which, Like the mechanism of movement of a flower, moves the body in alignment with that life giving energy... No.. I didn't see that.. But that would be cool.. I saw a machine with a mind as a tumor.. An overgrowth which my body hates.. Because it has not been a good Shepard for this body. No.. I saw the most horrifying thing of all, the reality most terrifying and beautiful at bottom.. I just saw the machine.

>>9890111
Have you ever played on a real sports team, not little league? It's a unifying experience. I get that you're talking about spectators and not players, but cmon a little. Sports are a primal, deeply interconnected thing

File: NickLandPickle.jpg (71KB, 1190x670px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 1190x670px

Nick Land is Rick and Morty for people who want to feel like they are intellectuals or edgelords.

>>9890148
yo quoted anon what music do you listen to

>>9890184
tao, easy on the cannabis

Who else is up?

>>9889014
i too am once again being reborn. it's a beautiful world, keep digging :)

>>9890111
That is a dangerous way of looking at things
>>9890188
Agreed

>>9890322
If we're lucky this rebirth will be the last

>>9890184
Not to say I get what you mean but I can identify with maybe that sort of mental place. You had me until the last bit, but all very interesting.

Sometimes I walk to work and returning in the evening often generates that sort of feeling.

In this way, for this reason, I have always really enjoyed airports.

File: music folder.png (353KB, 1360x681px) Image search: [Google]

353KB, 1360x681px

>>9890197
Yes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVNy1p3CrVM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SONSaoP5V0w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjIiK9VcIsA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OUHUnOAxaA

Wageslaving to earn less than a minimum salary, such is life.

Started the summer with the goal of writing the fast draft of a horror novel.

Failed. Tried writing a decent short stories. Failed. Reach the hard realisation that my IQ might be too low for me to be a good writer.

Bitter pill to swallow.

File: bruce-lee-quotes-dont-fear-failure.jpg (29KB, 403x403px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 403x403px

>>9891722

>>9891823
From the thumbnail, I thought that was the CIA guy.

File: 1427215408211.jpg (3MB, 4050x3010px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 4050x3010px

>>9891895
>Go to family gathering yesterday
>YA part of the family (cousin+boyfriend, sister+husband+children) is watching first season of GoT
>Littlefinger comes around
>Oh no
>Must fight temptation to tell someone "es la CIA" as I know none of them are initiated into the flight plan
It's hard being a big guy.

On that note, I didn't know GoT was filmed in 60fps--it looks like ass. But it fits in a way since the thing is incapable of any subtlety or refinement. God, just listening to the characters speak is disgusting. It's like reading a comic book. No work on the language at all, could have made something interesting with court language and the medieval setting to but that was clearly not Martin's aim.

>>9891940
>sigur ros
I think I'm missing the joke here

File: c712dcba5a372dd8a69fa511eccf96df.png (235KB, 750x1000px) Image search: [Google]

235KB, 750x1000px

The apex of current Japanese eroticism appears to me as this: the full female. In the full female there is a reconciliation of power/production and will/control. Domestication, infantility, nymphetism, humiliation, submission and dependence, all have been overcome. She is exclusive of all that is male, and so, deals with it on her own terms; therefore, cuckolding stops being elopement. There's no cruelty or irascibility, but brutality in her; there's no revenge, subversion, redemption, she is unadulterated feminine essence; therefore she's not a dominatrix or a seductress. As overwhelming to the male, she approaches the motherly, yet without any of the safety the mother stands for, nor the excessive horror of a devouring mother. She’s cultured without being delicate, independent without being competitive. She’s the consummation of the collective anime project toward the perfect girl; although out of that project has come something that can’t be a waifu—in the pursuit of the best, the girl ¬–the part that is vulnerable/open to the male¬– had to be left behind. There is designated male counterpart to find as of now.

>>9891980
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cAxLZpelmQ

>>9891201
good taste, I recognize only 6 artist
watchu got in ur weeb folder

Im too shy to give my opinion on anything.

>>9892150
Think more of you when i read comments like these, but they would be your friend and legal troubles. The combination of that and it was the nationalization of private debt acrued by bad loans from these parasitic financial systems and the development of art styles after the sixties, the hair on your arms stands on end, lay in the chair 'going over' the story. It's cool though actually. Not to mention the live prey.

I have some pretty repulsive fetishes. Sometimes I wonder if I was always destined to have them, or if growing up online gave them to me where they wouldn't have developed otherwise.

File: weeb.png (75KB, 1360x629px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 1360x629px

>>9892321
More or less random intros/outros/inserts from anime and vidya. The Openings folder contains all Super Sentai openings from '75 to '13.

>>9892343
2 L8

>>9892353
You're making we blush, that's why I chose to be an artists. It's really something that the state is more borders than content which makes me wonder against what will things will develop from now on, surprise is the things that keeps it all going, one day we might be capable of simply reading books. Thanks. It is so sensual.

>>9892382
What's the worst thing you've wanked to? I'm sincerely ashamed of some of my wanks.

>>9892430
yo quote whats ur favorite anime

>>9892439
Be prepared for commonality:
Evangelion is the only work of fiction which I'd let myself call my favorite, because it was the pretty much the first thing I found to be personally meaningful (there's also KoF02, but the fiction part's not relevant there). Though to me there's simply too much good stuff out there to be attached to anything in particular, outside of what I find in myself that I can't get anywhere else.

>>9892488
commonality is not good nor bad
I dropped it cuase I hated the MC, fucker cried every single episode plus can't stand mecha
I'm more into slice of life and iyashikei
you watching anything rn?

Self improve
Self improve
Self improve
Self improve
Cheat
wallow in despair
regret
motivation
Self improve
Self improve
Self improve
Self improve
Self improve
find a qt
love
love
love
love
cling
cling
cling
cling
heartache
heartache
self destruction
despair
despair
despair
overload
rest
meditate
inspiration
motivation
self improve
self improve
self improve
nibbana
death

I'm writing a review about the alchemist for this girl I've been with for a while, feels like i'm betraying lit but I can't get over her, here goes

As I started reading and going through the pages about the life of Santiago, I began to see in every 3 different words, a direct notion or a nudge towards an idea that I've long contemplated. Much of the beginning of the book reminds me of how we, as people 'going on about life', begin to indulge our thoughts into that plane that is beyond what our every expectation of the world ever was. Slowly, and defiantly, we submerge into a flood of thoughts that keep on coming, but unlike Santiago, most of us would turn their back to such ideas. Unlike us, with curiousity and intrigue lightning up his path, he starts to journey through his thoughts, not as the shepard he always was, but as a wandering soul, looking for its 'personal legend' as the book referes to it. We experience that sentiment of growth as we follow through with our main character, as he meets with what the universe had prepared for him in order to help him realize his treasure, his deep-burried gold, that only throughout his relentless pursuit, and the choices he had to make, was he ever able to fill his soul to the brim with what he hadn't had in mind. Almost everytime our character was about to settle, a pulse had occured, an interaction with someone or something would shape the future in an entirely different way, it wasn't the old king, it wasn't the woman of the desert nor it was the Alchemist, it was the heart of the universe, beating at the right time for Santiago to be able to breathe life into his mind once again.

To be cont'd

>>9892513
>nibbana
Tryhard

>>9892527
As he starts to explore the world, it was not knowledge of the world he gained, but knowledge of himself, of his inner sanctum. The emphasis on the language of the world, or the language of the soul, or that unspoken language that just simply exists, has raised a thought in me,for a language to be called so, it has to be spoken by a different entity or form of existence, yet with ones thoughts, it is as if it's spoken to and by the person themselves, not to say it is a language of seldom, but in actuality, it's on the other side of the meaning of the world, a complete opposite, for although it is spoken from within one's soul, it is as if the world in its entirity, past and future, have fused into the present of those thoughts, and as if all creatures of that which exist, have telescoped into the carcass which the soul manifests itself in. As if all the wild and irrational, for a few moments, was eternally and forever was contained into ones being. Anyhow... our hero, or champion, or god, I'm not sure it matters to him what he's though of, but what he knows of himself when he looks at the stars and sees his reflection, has started his journey looking for his treasure, his gold, and is driven by how many new sheep or how well-off he and his children and their children will be for the rest of their lives, and as we near the end, we notice that his seek of that treasure has brought him the grand prize, it had taught him the language of the world, and as we analyze every step and every word that was said, we see that not only did he not understand the world, he did not understand himself.

>>9892527
>>9892546
I'm confused as to why your gf wants you to write a book review

File: 1428518512323.png (553KB, 809x900px) Image search: [Google]

553KB, 809x900px

>>9892496
I just finished Suisei no Gargantia, which addressed a ton of current social/philosophical baggage I'd been thinking of. Check it out, it's pretty short and you might be surprised--I was.

Now I was thinking of starting watcing Neo Ranga daily so I could start emptying my anime backlog and see if I can get to LoGH this lifetime.

>I'm more into slice of life and iyashikei
Hmm, what're your bests?

>I dropped it cuase I hated the MC, fucker cried every single episode plus can't stand mecha
Yeah, it's not supposed to be pleasing. I wish we'd seen Shinji from other characters' prespective more, not because he's a bad character but because it'd help the audience put him in perspective.

>>9892552
I have refrained from poisonous books like the alchemist my entire life. She was btfo by my knowledge and ideas of the world and loves me to the stars and back because of it so she asked me to read it... I couldn't say no after she asked for the third time and bought me the book. So I finished it a while ago and she was so excited to know what I thought of it and wanted a full-blown review she'll probably share on her social media because I usually wouldn't.
I felt the book didn't much to what I had in mind which was a bit saddening, every 'deep' or 'enticing' thought in the book I had already expressed with her and I guess that's where she was impressed the most. I spoke of the language of the world and the unspoken language and the heart and the soul and evolution and all that shit not knowing a single page of the book that she fell in-love with during her growing period.

I'll continue writing I haven't finished yet, but I hope this clears up why.

>>9892563
I rewatch aria and mushishi every couple of months
more recent shows I've enjoyed a lot are kimi to boku and flying witch
I still need to watch a lot of the SoL classics though, hopefully I'll empty my SoL backlog in december
currently watching mokke, very very comfy once you get going

>Suisei no Gargantia
does it have a lot of action? might watch it when I'm on the action/fights mood

anything from recent seasons you enjoyed?

>>9892609
I'd been thinking of watching Mushishi since I never really got a chance to do it properly outside of catching it on TV.

Oh, I'd also been slowly reading Noragami since a friend recommended it to me. It's okay.

>does it have a lot of action?
Some bits here and there. It's sort of a reverse The Day The Earth Stood Still where the MC has to stop being an unconscious warmonger.

>anything from recent seasons you enjoyed?
Not really. I've never been the kind to follow the seasonal stuff. I was watching Little Witch Academia but left it for later when life came in the way. I'm more or less expectant for the new Yamato movies, you could check out 2199 if you want some action since it has really good production values.

>>9892574
>poisonous
Seems a little strong to me, but I've never read it. Thought it was just a philosophical novel or whatever. I though Siddhartha was pretty superficial too, but people here love to jerk off to that. Think it just depends on when in your intellectual development you encounter that kind of stuff.

>>9892653
mushishi is a well made supernatural slice of life, you get a nice idea of what shinto is all about plus the landscape designs and OST are GOAT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YoYbpBGaJM

I watched noragami anime while it was airing, it fell off a little towards the end but it was nice overall
never been an avid manga reader desu, but I'll probably get on the habit when I run out of anime

as for movies, I hope that with the popularity of current movies (KnK, KnNW) the industry gets bigger and releases more stuff like that

>>9892546
The ending holds a mystery in and of itself, while stories are usually about what happens in someones life, the Alchemist does the mirror-version of that method, in all the events of the story, all the interactions and encounters Santiago ends up having, it was never Santiago's life events or actions, it was never something he went ahead and did, it was the culmination of every little detail in his life, leading him on a path he unconsciously let happen. The mystery in it is that nowhere does Santiagos life begin, anywhere other than the ending. For what was his life before he learned what his body had always known?


"You ever count the stars? I can't ever get the same number, they keep changin' on me.
I don't even know what a star is, exactly...
Well, your body knows, it's your mind that forgot." - The Assassination Of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

Done, I'll do some proofreading and working at this and show it to her sometime. Thanks /lit/ for providing the creative space to do these things, I'm not close to being a good writer but I like these threads anyway.


>>9892688
Their goal is to teach or preach the reader about the human existence and what ones goals and dreams are about and how to go on about them. The problem is it neglects reality in such a way that makes it seem not slightly related to what real life is. I feel two things towards people who have adapt the viewpoint of the book, sometimes I feel a bit of disgust as to why anyone with a sane healthy brain would simple give in to the thoughts and contemplation of someone else? To me, even the crap I write out is more valuable to my fulfillment than 98% of everything out there. The second feeling is that I feel maybe I'm the irrational and irregular, and maybe I should just give it a shot.

It was a pretty good read, but all in all, I would've preferred just sitting down gazing at the sunset and thinking about life till that pink haze falls from the sky.

>>9892712
>all in all, I would've preferred just sitting down gazing at the sunset and thinking about life till that pink haze falls from the sky.
just put that at the end of your review and add "[...] sitting down _with you_ gazing at the sunset [...]. Then, we'd contemplate the nightsky full of stars until a new sun rises again"

>>9892708
I hope it means animation will get higher production values and becomes less disposable, at least in some places. There hasn't been a real artistic movement in anime since, what, the '80s? I liked Gargantia because it was pretty clearly made to be self-contained and had an ending and point in sight through all of the show. People oughta be trying to be doing less, not more nowadays.

>>9888962
i make people around me feel uncomfortable because i refuse to laugh at shitty jokes and say stupid things to keep the conversation flowing

>>9892712
>To me, even the crap I write out is more valuable to my fulfillment than 98% of everything out there
What do you read? And you can read philosophy without giving yourself over to it completely. I think you'd be missing the point if you did, honestly.

I often wish I lived at a time and place where I might feel as though there were some stakes to being alive, so as to compel me to accomplish greater feats than waking up at 3 pm and spending a whole day watching family guy clips on youtube.

>>9892741
Ah, that's a sweet add. Thanks.
Here's how I'll word it:
All in all, dear life, reading this book has reminded me of something. Nothing in the world I'd rather do more than sitting down with you, gazing at the sunset and thinking about life till that pink haze falls from the sky. Then, we'd contemplate the nightsky full of stars until a new sun rises again.
You, I love you. <3


>>9892781
I read mostly books /lit/ recommends as something on the side(the greeks, hasse, etc), I mainly read political books. Things related to Jerusalem and the troubles around it in particular and books that would help me form a greater understanding of the world in and of myself in general without pushing me into it. I agree with you on your opinion about reading philosophy, but I honestly can't consider the alchemist as a philosophy book, it provides something similar to a daydream experience that goes on for 170 pages. I do think it's a bad characteristic of mine that anything I don't feel like engaging in, I wouldn't approach. I guess I just lose interest in a lot of things before even interacting with them for the silliest of reasons.

If something I'm approaching I know won't make an everlasting effect on me and who I am, I would usually just avoid it. I try to have fun every once in a while, but that only comes in short bursts.

>>9892882
I love you too <3 my eyes got all wet wtf I'm such a pussy

File: DSCN9721.jpg (272KB, 1959x1469px) Image search: [Google]

272KB, 1959x1469px

>>9892892
I'm not sure if you're playing 3d chess with me haha but thanks.
I'll be attaching this image I took as well, it has something to do with us but I'll post it here anyway. Glad you're into it.

File: DSCN9718.jpg (239KB, 1959x1469px) Image search: [Google]

239KB, 1959x1469px

>>9892921
>>9892892
Or this, not sure which

>>9892921
This one has better proportions. I'm not playing chess unfortunately.

>>9892955
Awwh anon.. I'm speechless. Thank you. You just made my week worth going through.

There's this first ever video I made about the sun, idk why but something in me just wants to show it to you haha. Hope you enjoy it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh1EtXV_YrE

>>9893005
>tfw was listening to this snog while watching the video
I dropped a couple of tears
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lM2MYSM8VA

>>9893074
The description is what makes it worthwhile tho! Make sure you check that out as well.
I have to go to sleep it's pretty late(~2AM)

I'll be checking this thread tomorrow too though. Anyway, good luck and goodnight! Sorry for blogposting but you anon, you're lovely, take care.

File: 20160704_151423.jpg (518KB, 2048x1152px) Image search: [Google]

518KB, 2048x1152px

I find myself in Hoboken, in mid commute, at the ungodly hour of 8PM,forced to scurry about in the sun for an early start at work. But I am strangely wakeful,ponderous of mind,at peace,with time to kill and a notion to make use of it on 4chan,if such a thing is possible,if such an idea is probable.

What shape shall it take? Advice for the lost and lonely Robots on /rk900/,who wrap themselves in angst and tilt at the windmills society has placed before them, enticing will'o'the'whisps that wrack their souls with unrequited want,and leave them scarred and unwilling to even try what most do unthinkingly? Or do I float about in /ic/,and guide another species of lost soul to some revelation, even if it's merely to lead them to a mirror and whisper,"Behold. Thou seeist? Thou knowest".

Or,do I come into /lit/,and see this thread,and truely write what is on my mind?

It is done,it is so.

And here is my train. Goodnight.

>write what is IN your mind
FIXED

>>9892882
gay nigger storage desu

>>9888962
I like putting my gummy bears in the fridge for a few minutes to harden them first.

Also I hope the Titans don't choke an 8-8 out like the Colts do every year.

>>9893235
I want gummy bears

File: aeropl.jpg (33KB, 500x407px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 500x407px

I finally listened to In the Aeroplane Over the Sea in one listen, today. It's actually pretty good. I always thought it was just a meme.

>>9893261
Jeff Mangum is the meme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYKJ05MD-QQ

F1
F2
F3
F4
F5
F6
F7
F8
F9
F10
F11
F12

File: comingtoterms.gif (2MB, 267x260px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 267x260px

>>9893261
>tfw no qt /mu/ gf

I had a mock job interview a few days ago and I was told that I sigh before answering questions. I don't even do it to be rude, it's just a reaction. I just do it to give myself a moment to gather my thoughts. So that's another thing to be self conscious about.

I want to read more than go out with friends. I need more balance. And I need to find other people. My circle of friends is too small.

I need a job.

>>9893279
I'd rather have a /mu/ gf than a /lit/ one desu

Have any of you dealt with Anhedonia before?

I've had it for at least two years now, but it's impossible to make peace with. Every day is the same, and every activity is as exciting as watching paint dry. My life has changed completely in the past few months, but my emotional state hasn't moved at all. It's like purgatory, and I just want it to be over.

>>9893363
i'd rather an /a/ gf or maybe a /sci/ gf

>>9893422
Speaking from the experience of my roommate, you definitely do not want either of those

I just want to die, I'm too boring and anxious to meaningfully connect with other people.

>>9893513
You meaningfully connect with us :)

File: swole jesus.jpg (39KB, 354x404px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 354x404px

>>9890111
it's a biological trait that exists in everyone, everyone has the capacity to think exactly like this given the correct circumstances - although I think the divide between the sexes is slightly different, something has gone seriously wrong if you are segregating the sexes in a genuinely harmful way (since this is not in human nature), which really does not happen at all in the west if we're being honest. The other points however, are true, and those feelings of division are amplified in uncertain and hard times.

In terms of all divisions excluding race and nations that can be taken seriously, I think it's unfair to consider these people weak minded. Do you know why people join gangs? do you know why people defend the honour of their neighbourhoods? usually these people have really really hard lives

As for nations, of course there will be divisions, there is a difference in culture. No reason for this to escalate to hostility but I believe this to be a perfectly reasonable cause for some division.

Race is the real big one though. This is not only again, a question of the division in culture but also a question of human nature. And that aspect of human nature accounts for a huge deal and it exists within everyone. When you are a child growing up in a white family in a white only neighbourhood you see white as your own. And then when you see a person of another race you're primal brain will tell you that they are not you're own and they are in fact you're enemy. And you can try and stop it as much as you like but it will always be there, it's for the same reason you don't want to fuck your sister. Now is this a redundant trait as far as modern society is concerned? of course. But you cannot deny it exists. In fact, I think ethno-nationalists make a good point that this is an inevitable part of human nature and it would greatly improve social cohesiveness if their were only one race per nation.

I think it is weak minded to think in such simple terms as division and segregation. But that is wrongthink and must be stopped at all costs.

>>9893537
Which is fine, but, you know, not in flesh and bones.

>>9893513
I think I get what you mean. Whenever I'm around other people, it's like I've got on a mask that I can't remove. I'll try to be friendly and honest, but there's always a huge distance between us, and I don't know why.

>>9893570
I literally stutter and get sweaty. I either don't say anything most of the time or if I do, I look like a mess.

I work near a college and literally every single person there disgusts me. I can't write explain but the students and professors all have this aura of vanity, aloofness and stupid consumerism that just disgusts me.

>>9893580
Ahh, yeah. There's few things worse than anxiety in public. If you don't already meditate, I'd recommend giving it a try. Once you're an anxious person, it's very hard to dispel that and become like most people, but I think it just takes time.
>>9893594
Reminds me of that one passage in Heart of Darkness when Marlow arrives back from the Congo into Europe and describes his frustration with all the people hurrying through the city and spending their lives doing frivolous things for quick pleasure. The passage's strength is amplified because this is a very common sentiment that people still express after extended time in the non-Western world. The line of thought ends there, but it's an interesting one.

>>9893636
I was raised in a poor family so I guess that's that.

>>9893656
How poor? Explain what disgusts you about it.

>>9893409

No one enjoys anything.

All self help diatribe is psychopaths congratulating themselves for overcoming the challenge of the occasional unexploitable person.

>>9888962
I posted this in another thread... But it's still all I think about.

I unwittingly fucked my half-sister for a week straight a couple years ago. Everyone knows it now too. Never take those AncestryDNA tests.

>>9895523
>for a week straight

Like...continuously?

buddhism is a pathetic religion for crybaby faggot losers who hate life but can't kill themselves because they're too intellectually weak to doubt reincarnation themselves

waa waa I fucking hate existing but I can't just dock myself waa waa

fucking losers fucking dumb fucking indian cunt peasants

STRIVE OR DIE BITCHES, YOU WALLOW AND CRY? YOU SIT THERE CLEAR YOUR MIND AND WAIT TO DIE?! AWAKE YOURSELF FROM YOUR PATHETIC SLUMBER! THRUST YOURSELF UPON THE WORLD! STRIVE STRIVE! REACH ACHIEVE CREATE BUILD GROW! STRIVE OR DIE BITCH! WALLOWING IN MISERY IS FIR DUMB FUCKINGIDIOTS!

>>9888962
>No such thread up.
There's a good reason for that.

>>9888998
>>9888998

Haha nice dude. You sound like me but smart.

File: 1498843220752.png (250KB, 526x572px) Image search: [Google]

250KB, 526x572px

>>9896107
>muh life

>>9896107

What is one thing you have achieved?

i really wanted to leave political extremism behind after that autistic kid dodge of peaced all those dudes, but the other day i was heading home after a long day of eating nothing but a granola bar and a slice of pizza at a time approaching midnight, and some latina asked me for money saying she was pregnant and needed food. i was like holy shit, holy fucking shit. the lugenpresse is never going to be able to deradicalize all these kids because one can barely go a day without something reminded you why /pol/ is always right.

>>9896107
Lol

>>9897657
he's right tho buddhism is a bad idea

I will run anything and everything into the God damned ground if you don't fuck off out of my life. Believe me I will.

>>9897661

I was just laughing about how heated he was. I have no serious opinion on Buddhism. But my reaction is probably one you could expect from a Buddhist, ironically.

File: f0sztr98oquy.jpg (371KB, 1920x1984px) Image search: [Google]

371KB, 1920x1984px

Is there anyone here who is really good socially? Like, the kind of person who relishes the company of others, "does well" at parties, and enjoys meeting new people enough to actually want to ask them questions about themselves. What is it like to be in your head?

I have a harder time imagining this than imagining absolute nothingness.

I don't like being different. It's novel when you're a teenager and it makes you feel special, but eventually you realize that all it does is make obtaining happiness more difficult. I go to a top 100 American university, and there's millions of people in this state alone, but 95%+ of the people I meet listen to the same music, dress the same, talk the same, and so on. But I can't fault them for that, because they're happy, and I'm not.

File: 410gnFMui1L._SX330_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg (62KB, 381x573px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 381x573px

>>9897673

ayy boi

File: Screen Shot 2017-04-14 at 2.40.32 PM.png (611KB, 720x524px) Image search: [Google]

611KB, 720x524px

>>9897873

Used to be close to what you're asking for, I can say that being forthcoming with new people can be addicting and fun, but it can sometimes feel pretty shallow. It depends on it coming naturally to you, the reality is that you're going to have to dumb yourself down every once in a while to communicate with other people. I don't mean that pedantically, most people want simple, often not-so-meaningful exchanges. For someone who's always dwelling on different topics (like most people on this board) it can sometimes be like shutting your brain down for a few seconds. As a remark on the above, I think it's better to live life feeling happy even though exchanges might not be particularly deep or meaningful. Matter of fact, I think meaningful times would not be important if they were common place, just something to keep in mind. Lately I've been much more disconnected from the world, much more bitter, and I don't really know if I'm giving something up, intellectually I mean, in order to be warmer towards others. Not the best reference, but Cobain mentioned that he used to feel dumb when he felt happy, I think a lack of awareness and happiness go in hand much more often than we'd like to think.

deep inside, I'm just a scared little boy

I think american culture, while spreading, kills humanity's depth. All we have at this point is pure consumerism, people become obsessed with goods, money, Instagram camwhoring and brand new devices to make the last point possible. Thus, average human being is now the most insufferable little stupid fucktard ever imaginagle. They're talking about spending money on useless crap — then they go and spend money on useless crap without any concerns about their own mortality and/or the fucking complexity of the surrounding world. I wish somebody killed me, so I wouldn't see this mess.

>>9897973

It's way too late for that, guy. The boy died long ago.

>>9897888
truth is if you want to be yourself it's a lonely road. stay busy and have a handful of great friends.

>>9898210
You're saying that I either stick with this and face loneliness, or try to ignore it by faking a personality and surrounding myself with other people?

I've learned in early age that you can't trust your own thoughts. This realization often paralyzes me. I want to be sure. I'll think and think and think about nothing but the reason I am doing anything.

The only thing I trust is "elegant solutions". There is some kind of non-intellectual and non-emotional truth to those. They feel like the moment when you have your eyes closed while fishing, feeling the nibble, feeling the currents and then hooking it just right. Or like hitting a tennis ball and before you even strike it, you feel that that thing will drive right fucking past the bastard.
That's how it feels. That one moment when everything falls into place and for a second the world makes sense.
These elegant solutions are everywhere. To everything. Even when it seems like you only have two shitty options, there IS a third. Whether anyone finds it or not.

I know this, yet I struggle. What's the elegant solution when your friend invites you to a gathering, full of strangers who are just off your wavelength?
Being suave and charming and smiling constantly certainly ain't it. Didn't feel elegant at all, tho it worked. Just felt like work. Felt like balancing ten pounds on your head.

I'll get there. I'm confident of that fact, at least.
It's just that, in the meantime, things are more tiring than they have to be.

https://m.xhamster.com/movies/1412453/lucky_bastard_fucks_remy_la_croix_and_jada_stevens.html#commentBox

>>9898254
no i said stay busy doing things and that you only need a handful of good relationships. fyi if you think it's a choice between being completely alone and completely conforming to society then you're probably going to end up conforming.

i'm such a sack of shit

>>9898289
What if you don't feel lonely? I'm being honest when I say I haven't wanted friends for several years now.

File: quote-charity-is-the-filthiest-invention-of-the-human-mind-first-you-steal-what-belongs-to-u-g-krishnamurti-94-34-27.jpg (69KB, 850x400px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 850x400px

>>9897641
Begging should be illegal. The only beggars I regularly give money are veterans or those that offer a smile and give me nothing else but their personal thanks, instead of promising G*d might help me for my good deeds, or come spreading pity because they were stupid enough to start a family while poor or get AIDS, only to be all smiles without a second though when the see someone even though the people that gave them money for their wailing are right there. Living off people's pity and guilt is worse than selling drugs in the streets.

I wish the rest of this site was more pseudointellectual, there's nowhere near enough pretension going around.

>>9898967
the worst beggers are those manhattan professional beggers both the crust punks who just sit there hiding behind cardboard signs (i think they're in some shelter or program and the rule is they have to beg all day to go back at night) and then those stupid "help feed the homeless help make a difference" assholes which have been exposed as some bogus charity that all gets funneled into the pockets of some shady millionaire and does nothing to help anyone, bet there's an endless stream of tourists and noobs from flyover so they'll never fuck off

I lived a life of comfort for the first 23 years of my life. Now going back to college with a baby on the way, now comes the change that was inevitable. It will be tough, but I hope that I can grow into a more compassionate and understanding person

what should i cop from the audible two for one sale? def. getting fukuyama's origins of political order, and i'm thining about barbara tuchman's distant mirror for some comfy 1400s feels

have you looked at the stats for higher ed achievement among the hispanic population? if america doesn't find a way to get these kids to go to school we're going to keep dropping in the education ranking, when the american economy was peaking in the 20th century america had the most educated workforce on the planet, but as whites decline, so does our educational attainment levels, i don't know man, doesn't look good

File: 3409283.jpg (14KB, 259x194px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 259x194px

I wrote hundreds of pages over the summer trying to write something good. I failed. The sheer amount of effort I put into trying to improve only to end up with a bitter feeling of failure might have been enough to make me quit writing entirely. My attempts to be a 'professional writer' with a 'professional work ethic' led to nought.

The upside? I have kept a detailed diary of what I've tried over the past few months and now I know what definitely won't help me improve as a writer. I've given myself a week off from writing because I need to start enjoying it again. Finally, I'm going to start challenging myself to get better as a writer through writing challenges. For instance challenging myself to write "in whole paragraphs only" or "without using personification" or "to use three words I've never used in my writing before." And so on.

Looking back I feel as if I've been polishing bad habits all summer instead of strengthening my weaknesses. This is a gut instinct to get better which I'm no longer going to ignore.

>>9900396

Write shorts

>>9900424
I've been doing this. They're not good. I'll keep at it though.

some people on this board think they are way smarter than they actually are

There is nothing good left.Everything is tainted.

I have a small penis and I think I will kill myself.

I'm beginning to think the Russian Formalists were right and the only think that matters (at least when it comes to emotion) is form, and everything else exists in service of it.

Sometimes I think I'm too in my own head. I spend most of my time alone and while I like it for the most part, I do crave social contact like everyone else. I'm pretty socially anxious and have few friends or acquaintances, but I often fantasize about what it would be like to be a genuinely sociable, likeable person. The thing is, when I actually do go out and interact with people, it never lives up to my imagination. I went to visit an old friend today, but I became so irritated that I just left after a short time. The only person I really tolerate is my brother; we're pretty similar and we don't expect much from each other, we just say what we think. I wish I knew more people like that but I don't know where to find them.

This thread's too young to die.

>>9891823
I wish Lee said more. I'm not one to wax on about inspirational speakers, but the man had a cool philosophy and a way with words.

Interesting

not really

>>9904288
I'm wary of taking any life advice from people who die young

I just want to be able to say and believe "God is Real" where God is not a washed down Peterson version.
I've been thinking and stressing my mind about it for days and am hating life. My last catharsis was "what is "reality" is just a collection of numbers or facts that occurred for no reason.
There's no reason gravity 'should' be about 10 so I shouldn't treat reality like I would God". But in doing that I have separated what is reality from what God is and so still can't say "God is real".

Also independent of this my last friend has started ignoring me. So I could just be overthinking to avoid that fact which is very painful to consider. I also know that nobody will respond to
this and I'm probably going to have another episode soon which will make me be forced into therapy again.

>>9904988
God won't show up to you without commitment to Him. You cannot just sit and intellectualize and waste time all day and then in the last moments before you fall asleep pull from the dustiest shelf of the deepest crevice of your mind a thought about God, rattle off a quick, "God, plz hear me," and expect anything to happen. Start going to church. Start doing things you thing God would want you to do. When you have a tendency to say things like, "Yeah, well, nothing matters anyway," DON'T, because it DOES matter, because God exists. So say that instead. Commit to Him, and He will show himself to you more and more.

>>9900454
I wish I were stupider so I didn't know how stupid I am.

>>9889252
>I don't know why I want to write. I'm not skilled enough to put all the parts of poetry together in a way I truly appreciate, and I'm incapable of telling any narrative. The best I can do is write short, overly symbolic descriptions of singular settings and/or events.

This is, literally, what Huysmans does so go for it anon

the constant conservative spam has basically ruined any internet site that allows comments, you can't go anywhere without people bitching about "cucks", "cultural marxists", "virtue signaling" etc. in the past the occasional racist comments about niggers or something was rude, but it wasn't this big echo chamber of conservative bullshit where a mob of people come out of the word work chanting "cuck cuck cuck"

i blame the democrats for running the only candidate who could possibly lose to trump

>>9905272

>being this amygdala hijacked

>>9905272
Its the same for liberals with liberal messages too. They just go on different sites.

>>9888962
>Edith was raped by her father in Stoner
Is this true? I never thought about it and I assumed the reason she hated sexual behaviour was because of how her education was "almost entirely sexual" and modesty was still of huge importance in her time.
However, it's beginning to make sense for me, like how she takes Grace away, and when her Father dies and she decides to give herself a whole new chance after the creepy scene with her old possessions.
What are your takes, this is a bit of a massive revelation for me and I feel I need to re-read the book.

>>9897873
I'd consider myself a pretty introverted type of person, usually choosing to do things by myself, or to generally stay inside. However, I grew up in a part of South Carolina and with a family where it was almost a standard to attend parties/events/societal events(as in groups not our society as a whole the most prominent one being Cotillion). I was personally never big on the parties, and I still am not, but since going to them during my childhood years I guess I sort of learned how to get through them, and find some enjoyment in them. I remember being extremely against going to all of these events when I was younger, and then eventually coming to deal with them, then to occasionally enjoying one. It probably came down to the fact that I knew I would be stuck at these events and that the only way I could leave would be to walk home, which was not an option most of the time. I'm not sure how exactly I came to do it, but I learned to somewhat enjoy (in moderation) parts of going to these type of events; though I would still rather not have to go to them at all.

I am an internet fucking addict manchild in a dark void that I created for myself

throughout my life I didn't make a single good decision

everything in me entire life has been wrong

I sit at the airport terminal awaiting my flight playing a little mental game. I look at each passerby and try to see which species of ape they fit into based on their respective physical appearance. The fat Jew hobbles to his terminal gate as little chimpanzee blacks perform mating calls at female chimps across the aisle. If there was one short summary of what I should take away from this way I chose to spend my mundane hours., it was that nothing resembling a positive virtue could be received from the privilege of being a homo sapiens at this time in Earth's history.

>>9906980
>that nothing resembling a positive virtue could be received from the privilege of being a homo sapiens at this time in Earth's history.

damn

I wish I had a good reason to get up in the morning.

Do you think professors would be annoyed if I sent them fan mail? Most of my favorite translations are by East Asian Humanities professors at Hawaii, Stanford, and some of the Ivys.

>>9907012
I'm not a East Asian Humanities professor, but I say you should do it. The worst that can happen is that they ignore you.

>>9907012
I sent some fan mail to Harold Bloom once, and he wrote me back a very short but very appreciative note.

File: lesweatguy.jpg (37KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 600x600px

>just matched with a really cute trap on tinder
sh-should I?

I think humans are really scary and unstable animals. I'm terrified of my fellow human beings. I'm terrified of myself. I don't know how to be okay with the human condition. I don't think I'm unwell for finding the way we conduct our lives absolutely insane.

>>9907281
What is "the way we conduct our lives?"

>>9888962
Book #8 will soon be finished. Not sure what I'll work on next. Got something in mind but I dunno. Once it's done though, I think I'll give myself a couple days to let my mind relax, and I also have cause for celebration coming up very soon.

>>9907218
If you wrote him fan mail would he reply?

>>9907304
Too broad a subject and I'm not a skilled enough writer to elaborate. I was only transcribing my thoughts, i.e. how I feel right now.

>>9907336
But you do have some idea, otherwise you wouldn't think that. So say what you mean.

File: IMG_2798.jpg (342KB, 1800x1200px) Image search: [Google]

342KB, 1800x1200px

Nothing inspires me, but somethings inspire me to be inspired.

>>9907333
apparently yes

>>9907346
Consumerism, sex obsession, celebrity worship, selling our time for money (which frankly seems like an imaginary concept). These all feel like the grievances of an angry teenager when I type them out. But I can't help feeling the taskmasters are incredibly transparent in their manipulation of us, and no one seems to care.

What's worse, there's no one to blame. There isn't a global antagonist, no blackbox organization, no Illuminati engineering the whole thing. Time and time again, we've reached this point in history. We do it to ourselves. It's our natural tendency. The taskmasters themselves are victims of their own idiot games.

>>9907372
>there isnt a global antagonist

good goy

>>9907372
Would you want me to disprove this view or affirm it?

>>9907394
Disprove it. I can't promise my conversion, though. We're all victims of delusion to some extent, so I take people's input with more salt than not.

File: 552469.png (68KB, 700x700px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 700x700px

>>9907420
The way I see it, the world lacks hedonism. People comform themselves with multitudes of poor products which are incapable of satiating their hungers. Nothing is dense or grave, there is no body to things. This is because people are impatient and think they can get out of this world if they eat enough abstractions. All they do is in order to protect a life they don't understand. So the best thing you can do is to be at fault, to be disciplined, to be exclusive, to be positive, to put your chips on the table. Don't shun away from the pleasures and pains of life, be a hedonist, be a character. Stop speculating and take to practice, it doesn't matter if you have to fake it, don't listen to the cliches, don't be intimidated by what can't harm you; know how to pick your fights and you'll go far.

That's what I'm doing. It sounds precarious, but I don't want to window dress.

>>9907372

If you think there aren't key figures who keep that status quo in line you're retarded. You're equally retarded if you think any other way of taking them down other than exposing their corruption is going to reform anything. There will always be another one, perfectly ready and willing to sell their soul to the highest bidder, at the expense of humanity, their own and the rest of the world's.

>>9907570
That sounds agreeable enough, but I'm not sure how to put it into practice. Maybe if you provided an example? What's something you've done toward that end?

File: 1448927758628.jpg (81KB, 586x720px) Image search: [Google]

81KB, 586x720px

>>9907793
Working out every day. Writing every day. Meditating every day. Working to get a job. Not leaving college. Taking my sexuality seriously. Taking the internet seriously. Going on a diet and succeeding. Reading philosophy and literature to my own purposes. Working on my mentality. Not giving in to immediate pleasures. Dancing on a relatives wedding even if I hate it. Approaching people honestly and actually discussing issues with them, as I'm doing now. Accepting my own ignorance. Not being afraid. Not being a pushover. Not being ressentful of things that in the end don't change my life.

I don't know, that's just me. Even if I'm saying it, it's probably not going to change much because you're not me. My whole thought process can't be put into a single 4chan post ch'know!

But, nowadays, I'm glad to be alive. Consciousness is so short, when you look at things. People are bitter about the fact that we're small in this universe and life has no meaning but... isn't that the wrong way to go about it? Weren't they the ones looking for something larger than themselves? Shouldn't meaning be the domain of sentient beings rather than minerals and atoms? I'm not worried about dying anymore. I worry only because there's a problem left to be solved; but it surely isn't going to solve itself, so I have no need for hope. I'm glad that I have something to work towards for the rest of my life. When I think about how people in other trades, how sportsmen for example finish their work so early, I'm glad I chose art. The books of the world are inifinite to this one small person! I'm never going to be bored! To think I took this out of laziness! I don't mind doing things I don't like now, since they help me be who I wanna be. I don't even dislike them that much anyway. There's always something good to find there. I thought, today, that if I was satisfied with the stories I imagined, why write? I'm really not doing it for anyone else, after all. But, I write because I know what'll be on the page is not what I imagined, I wirte to know what it is I shall write. And I want others to read it, because I don't know how they will react. If I knew, what would be the point? The road never ends, but if you're not in a hurry, you're already there.

>>9907369
Fuck his faggot ass.

File: 1495903163432.png (94KB, 796x1082px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 796x1082px

I ate too many potato chips and now my tummy hurts.

>>9907993
good post mate

quick /lit/, should i be on nofap or weeklyfap? i've been on the former for the length of the latter and i'm in the mood but not sure if i want to indulge.

>>9909635
Do it but don't watch porn

>>9909903
i decided just not to fap at all today since it's my first serious urge and for the sake of self-discipline i need to learn to deny myself of such urges, but maybe i'll have a system where like every three urges will be fulfilled and i like your idea of fulfilling it without pornography.

>>9888962
Moved into my new apartment as a junior this year for college. It's the first time I've cried as my dad was leaving. I didn't my first or second year, but for some reason this year I cried like a bitch. Got tears welling up just thinking about it again.

>Don Quixote is 1100+ pages.
Is it ok to read abridged version? Or is this story pretty disconnected, like a show where each episode is barely related to the one before?

>>9909635
>i'm fascinated
>two bitches so fine that i masturbated

even gucci maine faps

>>9898263
i feel like you stole the term "elegant solutions," from some famous intellectual

>>9899320
jesus, having a baby will tear you out of your comfortable crib.. abort it.

>>9907012
not sure, I feel like many people believe their work is undervalued.

Reading shit like Jung has expanded my mind in so many ways and truly put my mind at ease for the first time in my life. It feels like im living in heaven on earth and now all i desire is to understand the deepest essence of human consciousness as strongly as a newborn desires his mother's milk. I am both eternally satisfied and ravenously hungry for truth.

I sound like a tool lol.

>>9911408
nope, literally every scientist/mathematician/philosopher aims for elegant solutions

>>9911426
yeah, what I've read of Jung is interesting. thanks for reminding me to read the correspondence between him and Pauli

>>9907372
Your anxiety is ancient. Millions of young men have sweated in their beds over the exact same lonsome things.

I'm starting to become more secure in my intelligence. I need to stop being so damn hard on myself. No, perfection is not attainable. But I'm doing well, given the circumstances. And I'm not deficient for having unusually intense interests. For being bored with many conversations. It's not my fault, not their fault - it's nobody's fault. Just get on with it. Stop dwelling on things that get in my way; that only magnifies them.

>>9907993
>>9907570
You are common and you'll be satisfied eventually with a wife to sleep on and a shit kid to lecture in a hat. If we aren't crying over torture, considering the pain of torture, considering self-mutilation to experience the true physical world, then we are fake and it doesn't matter what we dwell on or formulate in our new note books. Anything in time would console us. If you haven't tried to commit suicide at least once then you are a complete simpering fraud. I am a fraud too because I'm alive. Your solutions are not transcendent and you may as well leave local lottery codes around at community centres. Whatever your shit muscle techniques, or cock pumps from looking at women sternly, I hope you realise you are distracted. You are a far better person than me. I think every living poet and writer must have been a terrible fraud.

>>9888962
I'm just kinda lost really. I feel I have a genuine interest in writing, but most of what I can come up with feels like drivel, or just my mind throwing up a spew of shitty ideas based on what I watched or thought about that day. I'm not too sure if I even want to try writing anything in terms of novels or actual literature, given that what seems to be popular these days is either A, Pornography for soccer moms IE Fifty Shades, or B, "I'm having a mid-life crisis and don't want to grow up god isn't that so funny?" IE Sarah Andersen. I don't even know if you can be something like a ghost-writer for comics or something, but even then I wouldn't because politics is so ingrained in that shit these days, which moves me onto the next problem.

My mind is so focused on shit like politics that I find it harder and harder to enjoy escapism, so now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place as I try desperately hard not to bitch at the next person I see about how the alt-right are fueled by the alt-left and vice versa, and it will soon become a never-ending cycle of Communism versus Nazism rock em' sock em' robots style, increasing in stupidity, close-mindedness and violence until America eventually breaks into a full-scale civil war (if you can even call it that, given that Nazi's nor Commies are part of the American dream)

I don't even feel like I've had enough experience or practice to write something serious or deep, but I also don't know where to go for practice, especially since high school never really gave me any answers even after taking extra years, all we did was read and study books, which is obviously important, but very little of it was spent actually doing any creative writing.

Thats pretty much all I got. I don't really have the energy or patience to keep spewing.

>>9911571
>You are common
Why is this an insult?

>you'll be satisfied eventually with a wife to sleep on and a shit kid to lecture in a hat
I wouldn't mind eventually but for the moment I'm not really looking for it.

>If you haven't tried to commit suicide at least once then you are a complete simpering fraud.
I was pretty close last year.

>I am a fraud too because I'm alive.
This is a nonsense phrase.

>Your solutions are not transcendent
Do they need to be? None of your problems are. Yet you think they're a big deal, because they're yours.

>I hope you realise you are distracted.
From what. Actually say something.

>You are a far better person than me.
Fuck off, I'm not being used by you like this.

>I think every living poet and writer must have been a terrible fraud.
No, not a fraud. Only superficial. Only insubstantial. Because passion exists without substance.

so fucking sick of internet nazis, not because it's shocking but because it's boring, yes, we know the jews control everything, deal with it, shut the fuck up

I want to stop having intrusive, asinine thoughts pop up all day, especially when I go to sleep. I started meditating but I don't know how long I have to wait for my mind to go quieter on a constant basis.

I wish i could use this as a solipsistic dumping ground but in the spirit of writing here goes

Corinthian bells, you said. Scratching at vinyl but leaving its remainder
Thin, pilled paper, length of an inch of the cylinder,
But easily hidden on your patio
On the hooks from home depot the wind spun its container

You smiled and said "I got them from the outlet,
I don't know why they're called corinthian bells but I like the way they sound."
Agreeing and smiling
Corinthian Bells made by the hands of a stranger

That's all i got. Bye lit

>>9890111
Yes, but that which separates also unites people. As long as we learn how to settle our differences amicably I don't see the problem.

>>9907993
I like your post, but what did you mean by these?
>Taking my sexuality seriously.
>Taking the internet seriously

File: 1483728008912.jpg (149KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

149KB, 1280x720px

>>9912086
>Taking my sexuality seriously
I'm aim to stop masturbating as a whole, or at least ejaculating, and even when I do it I aim to be mindful about it, and even then I often am more interested in what I'm seeing and actively seeking it out rather than just going at it because it picked my interest. I've even started masturbating just for the feeling of it rather than choking my penis like an animal to porn, which I haven't done since I was a kid. Needless to say cumming is much harder when you take your time but the orgasms are much better, and being mentally aroused is more and more difficult, thanks to meditation perhaps. Well, that's about it without getting too esoteric and theoretical about the politics of porn--but I've always overcomplicated everything.

>Taking the internet seriously
Try to make less throwaway posts. Aiming not to live putting myself over others when posting, like people overdo here. Not being a wise guy. Namefagging so I'm self-conscious and people can call me out. Aiming to make things worthwhile. Trying to waste as little time as possible doing "nothing". Staying on topic, being informative and being honest about my ignorance. It's hard to break away from decade old habits, but hey.

I want to throw her down a flight of stairs and know she feels the velocity, all in her stomach, as she tumbles. Violently beaten, kicked and punched, until she's crying hysterically.
The knowledge of knives in the backroom taunts me when she opens her mouth, her stupid little mouth.
A wine bottle head-pat.
Images of screwdrivers and corkscrews flood my skull when she blinks. I hate those fucking eyes, those stupid little eyes. Like bulbous mushrooms. Like bubbling egg whites.

>>9912201
I feel the same way, about both sexuality and the internet. I'm not the guy you're replying to, though, by the way.
Sexuality is almost always nothing but harmful. Leeching on the brain and groin.
Sexuality has the potential to ruin very fine experiences and connections--not just with people.
Relationships can be ruined by sexuality. A series of perfectly fine interactions being disrupted by a sexual act is common. You talk, you get along. You enjoy each other's words, you even love the moments of silence. Once sexuality becomes a factor in the relationship, there are expectations. There is a new component. There is another desire. Everything you were once able to enjoy, every small thing, can easily become less enjoyable.
You go to her house at the beginning of the relationship, you watch a movie. It's nice, you hold her hand. You kiss her. She leaves while bashfully smiling. You're mad about her, you can't stop thinking about all the small bits and pieces which made the night so fantastic. The way her shirt clung to her ribcage, her necklace dangling against her clavicle, the way she gnawed on her chapped lips, her joy upon touching your hand.
Then you have sex. Exciting, no? How wonderful. Thinking of that night, every day. Every single detail of that night swims around your mind. You want more. You want to feel good like you did, again and again.
You stop thinking about the patterns on her dress, you stop caring so much about seeming poetic to her.
You have sex again.
And again.
And again.
The magic fades. It no longer feels cathartic and beautiful. It becomes mechanical. Routine. Expected. Predictable. Like sitting in front of a computer, browsing through tags.

Treat it with respect.
It is special. If you don't continuously treat it as special as it is, it ceases to be such.

Pornography is a scourge. It implements unrealistic standards, causing low self-esteem and a mistreatment of sexuality. Anyone who genuinely enjoys watching people they don't love, strangers, fuck each other, is a heathen.
Disclaimer--I'm not even religious.
Most people that have claimed to be in love have never even seen a sliver of what true, genuine love is like.

File: Klimt_Mulher_sentada.jpg (121KB, 450x625px) Image search: [Google]

121KB, 450x625px

>>9912569
Would you agree that it comes down to looking for the same thing over and over rather than be open to the new things that are happening? Would that not mean the original experience was insufficient, even though it was so good? It's interesting that repetition compulsion was discovered when studying traumatic occurrences, but it also seems to be common with pleasurable ones. What is it that we want to return to, if that's the case, if it's not simply a means to overcome trauma? Pain and pleasure... I've heard they overlap; I've always sorta thought it must be the case. Ecstasy? (The feeling of being outside oneself.)

Ah, but this is all rambling. I'm going to bed.

I'm becoming increasingly worried that I may actually be attracted to children. Whenever I see a cute young girl in public my mind is thrown into dissary. The time I've spent thinking about the issue has only made my perversion more pronounced. Now these worrisome thoughts eat away at my mind. I can barely think straight.

>>9912904
I don't think you're a pedophile. Seems like the thoughts are unwanted and anxiety-induced. Self-questioning. Invasive, intrusive. If you ever find yourself legitimately wanting to have sex with kids or touch them sexually, seek help. But, having intrusive sexual thoughts about children doesn't mean you're actually attracted to them.

>>9912904
what age range?

>>9912955
Thank you Anonymous. This is relatively reassuring.
>>9912968
10-15

>>9912984
Eh. Finding pre-teens and teenagers attractive or aesthetically pleasing isn't really the same as having a distinct fixation on wanting to fuck them all the time. Just don't do anything illegal. If you don't want to do anything bad, you won't. You won't suddenly snap and do something horrible. I don't think you should worry.

This particular fear of becoming a pedophile is usually shrugged off by most but when it's recurring it can be very, very maddening. You fear it because you aren't it and you don't want it. That's why it's a -fear-. It's not, "oh god i want to fuck kids," it's "oh god -what if- i want to fuck kids."

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/culturally-speaking/201212/could-i-be-pedophile-the-worst-kind-ocd I don't know if you have OCD (you're likely just an anxious person with some intrusive thoughts) but regardless, this could be a comforting read.

File: April 7 2017e.jpg (621KB, 3789x2988px) Image search: [Google]

621KB, 3789x2988px

>>9888962
Just an idea
you wake up from a black out of indeterminate length. The moments before you read this post are the last that you can remember. You are in exactly the same condition, and seemingly the same spot, but the entirety of whatever region/city you were in is completely pulverized to the point of being almost unrecognizable. No one has been left alive. It's hard to tell exactly what destroyed the area but it clearly was not an explosion and it seems as if it was torn apart manually, and as if the people were trampled or beaten.
Now what.
What happened.
What do you do.

>>9913074
go on 4chan

Hey, Anonymous.

I just want to say as honestly as possible that you are mostly very damaged men who need to come into contact with yourself and each other, and for some reason the world tries to stop you. It's gonna be okay though if you stop freaking out and chill.

Love,

Grandma

>>9912569
You were so close and then fucked up, as if we can't tell the difference between sex and porn

>>9913085
> is completely pulverized

You are my home. I have agoraphobia.

I miss your earthly eyes. Your thin top lip, puffy bottom lip. Scruffy face, self-consciously apologizing for not shaving. You wearing my shirt. It meets my knees but fits you perfectly.
The mattress, the candy, the hammock, the eggs.
You got in the bathtub and told me what songs to sing.

Like blood to bruise. I cling to you.

Please wake up.

>>9913112
Porn really damages both male and female perception. Women often expect large penises and long sessions of sex in 10+ positions. Men expect pussies without any showing labia or hair, not knowing that labia showing is actually the norm and most pornographic actresses actually have surgery performed between their legs. Even without the standards aside, why get off to people you don't love? Wank all you wish but I really can't see any pro to gawking at people fucking (or fucking themselves or standing naked and so on) you aren't in love with.

Perhaps I'm just old fashioned and odd, but I cannot ever separate sexuality and love. I have had sex with one person and I am still with them. If I ever detach from them, I cannot see myself ever having sex with anyone else. I know people say that often simply due to infatuation and fixation, but I mean it. I never felt attracted to anyone to the point of developing sexual attraction before this. I am wholly and completely in love. If this ends, I see no point in ever pursuing anyone. I'll be tired and disillusioned.
I'm a bit of a weirdo though, I guess. I've only ever felt attraction to people I've personally known in a close way. Never towards celebrities or strangers. Porn makes me fucking sick. I'm just too love-oriented.

You do you, of course. I'm just some anonymous person, you know?