What is the funniest thing you've ever read?

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I don't remember.

>>9837498
>+ service fee

Lol, taht is funny.

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Then there's the dogsitting greentext that always makes me laugh.

>>9837506
What the fuck even IS a service fee for a dinner? Is that, like, the built-in tip for the wait staff?

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>>9837439

>>9837439
Waiting For Godot, Finnegans Wake and Douglas Adams' novels. Yeah I'm not really into humorous literature

your diary

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>>9838089
Aw man, you didn't have to delete it, I had a good laugh reading it, I even had to google those urinals because I couldn't believe it

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>>9838098
there's a bunch of different bathrooms there and it looks like maybe some have little dividers so you dont have to see too much dick when you piss, but this is the one i used, god that was fucked, there were like 3 or 4 dudes pissing when i walked and i was like wtf is this

>>9838098
>>9838109
Now we look like a couple of nuts in this thread

>>9838116
Well we're in good company, aren't we friend?

It's been nice speaking with you, friend. I hope to see you again in one of the other threads. Will I catch ya memeside?

Sincerely,

Aaron Syne

>>9837498
This cant be real, Right?

>>9837847
wtf is this /b/tier fantasy?

>>9838230
dunno, started being copypasta and at one point it got so popular it got the Duke treatment, or something very similar. It's at least 8 years old unless you can actually trace the comment back to some obscure and long dead forum from the pre-youtube era.

>>9838243
nice typography. thanks.

>>9838250
>typography
e-excuse me?

>>9838269
the document >>9837847

>>9838272
I didn't post it. It's pretty well known pasta

>>9837571
It takes very little to make a man truly happy. Aurelius was right.

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>>9838109
>>9838098
You ain't seen nothin yet.

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>>9838109
>>9838447
the fuck you cunts even talking about

R&G Are Dead

>>9837498
>Dawkins Circle member (TM)

>>9838513
Literally could be my highschool

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>>9838243
Not sure what you're basing that on but it's from an old webcomic site that had a selection of similar pages about other things. The comic author wrote them. There were maybe 8 total. Here's the only other one that people still repost.

>>9839041
Thanks that was amazing. What's his name or website? I wanna know more about it.

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>>9839051
Seems to be the One Page series by Chip Zdarsky
http://zdarsky.tumblr.com/search/one+page

>>9837742
Legally, a service fee belongs to the restaurant or hotel. It is typically distributed in a way that tips cannot be.

>>9838447
could imagine people confusing these for sinks if they were drunk enough

>>9837571
>>9838395
Plumbig is a very important thing, and a large portion of the world still doesn't have what we consider a basic utility.
Life without plumbing means the spread of easily preventable disease and terrible jobs without human dignity like the poor of India who are for all practical purposes forced to dig septic tanks with their hands.
A toilet in these parts of the world is a very big deal, i'm happy these kids are smart enough to realize that.

>>9839041
Yeah, these are good as fuck.

He thought he saw an Elephant
That practised on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
A letter from his wife.
'At length I realize,' he said,
'The bitterness of Life!'

He thought he saw a Buffalo
Upon the chimney-piece:
He looked again, and found it was
His Sister's Husband's Niece.
'Unless you leave this house,' he said,
'I'll send for the Police!'

He thought he saw a Rattlesnake
That questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found it was
The Middle of Next Week.
'The one thing I regret,' he said,
'Is that it cannot speak!'

He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk
Descending from the bus:
He looked again, and found it was
A Hippopotamus.
'If this should stay to dine,' he said,
'There won't be much for us!'

He thought he saw a Kangaroo
That worked a coffee-mill:
He looked again, and found it was
A Vegetable-Pill.
'Were I to swallow this,' he said,
'I should be very ill!'

He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four
That stood beside his bed:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bear without a Head.
'Poor thing,' he said, 'poor silly thing!
It's waiting to be fed!'

He thought he saw an Albatross
That fluttered round the lamp:
He looked again, and found it was
A Penny-Postage-Stamp.
'You'd best be getting home,' he said,
'The nights are very damp!'

He thought he saw a Garden-Door
That opened with a key:
He looked again, and found it was
A Double Rule of Three:
'And all its mystery,' he said,
'Is clear as day to me!'

He thought he saw an Argument
That proved he was the Pope:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bar of Mottled Soap.
'A fact so dread,' he faintly said,
'Extinguishes all hope!'

Random urbandictionary definitions and rationalwiki articles.

>>9839155
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InR7tip2Izk

>>9839053
Dude should have stuck with this over comics.

>>9840239
>Rationalwiki
Laughing at them or with them?

>>9840533
Seeing how this board is plagued with snotty christians, probably the former

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>>9837439

>>9840592
It's usually atheists/apatheists that dislike fedorawiki most from what I've seen.

>>9840493
b.eotc

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this

>>9837439
The bit in factotum where he gets raped by a prostitute and pays her for the service anyway.

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>>9837498
>not having a candlelight supper with riparian entertainment

An old mad-lib that my brothers filled out. It was about the Phantom of the Opera. I forget exactly how it went but at one point a giant turd slammed shut behind the heroine, locking her in with the phantom. A direct quote: "'Fuck you!'" the phantom said. 'Now you will have to marry me or I will fuck your fiance!'"

>>9840614
>dick Parkinson

this can't be real

>>9840614
holy fuck this is based

who is the funniest writer in your opinion? I'm an utter pleb so I'd say my favorites are Simon Rich or Mark Twain.

Nietzsche is pretty funny. Then there's Kharms and shit like that

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>>9837439

>>9840493
I guess he.... didnt take it easy on the carrots.

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>>9841133
tell me more...

>>9840493
woah.... so this... is the power of carrots...