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I'm unspooked as fuck. I see myself living in a meaningless world. I see people as disgusting. My jealousy comes out of nowhere and it disgusts me.
>see guy with his gf
>get madly jealous and randomly the thought, "the best revenge is a life well lived" goes through my mind
>realise as I'm thinking it how pathetic and spooky it is, the coping mechanism of a genetically deficient organism
>see someone reading a maths book
>feel hatred for them because they might think they're smarter than me
Guys I'm not going to lie, being unspooked is tough as fuck. I worry that marketers and advertisers are trying to take advantage of me.
I have no life philosophy. Work on many things? Work on one thing? Do what I enjoy? Do what others say is important? I have no clue. I want to do 50 things at once. I see all sides. I started reading more recently and worry about "reading myself stupid". I try to remember what I read when sitting on the train and although I know the condensed outline, and see this as enough, I get annoyed for not remembering perfectly.
I am an ugly beta male who has never had female attention, even at the age of 26, has had no social life since 18, and became the ugly loser loner that nobody talks to within two days at work. Seeing attractive women everywhere is torture when I know they have lives on easy mode, consider me a disgusting non chad, as have 50999 tinder matches.
I trust my intellect and taste but I am always abused by the pseudo intellectuals who claim I need to suspend these and worship and spend my money. If I spent all my time doing all the shit I'm supposed to do, I'd have no time for anything. Everyone else is a fraud. Everyone else is either a woman who gets everything handed to them or a normie who glides through institutions while being judged by their clones.
My spiritual malaise is entrenched and I refuse to sprinkle Christian (or any other) droplets on it like the low IQers, pseudo intellectuals, and the frauds.
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>>9832656
This.
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>>9832652
If I had to give some advice, it'd have to be.. Just be yourself.
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>>9832652
>My spiritual malaise is entrenched and I refuse to sprinkle Christian (or any other) droplets on it like the low IQers, pseudo intellectuals, and the frauds.
You sure this isn't fraudulent?
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>>9832652
You know, a lot of (I don't say all) these knots you've tied yourself in, that are slowly strangling you to death... are spooks.
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WELCOME TO HELL!
>So long as man is protected by madness, he functions and flourishes; but when he frees himself from the fruitful tyranny of fixed ideas, he is lost, ruined. He begins to accept everything, to wrap not only minor abuses in his tolerance, but crimes and monstrosities, vices and aberrations: everything is worth the same to him. His indulgence, self-destroying as it is, extends to all the guilty, to the victims and the executioners; he takes all sides, because he espouses all opinions; gelatinous, contaminated by infinity, he has lost his “character,” lacking any point of reference, any obsession. The universal view melts things into a blur, and the man who still makes them out, being neither their friend nor their enemy, bears in himself a wax heart which indiscriminately takes the form of objects and beings. His pity is addressed to existence, and his charity is that of doubt and not that of love; a skeptical charity, consequence of knowledge, which excuses all anomalies. But the man who takes sides, who lives in the folly of decision and choice, is never charitable; incapable of comprehending all points of view, confined in the horizon of his desires and his principles, he plunges into a hypnosis of the finite. This is because creatures flourish only by turning their backs on the universal... To be something -- unconditional -- is always a form of madness from which life -- flower of fixed idea -- frees itself only to fade.
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>>9832918
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>>9832652
hit the gym, groom yourself, and get the fuck off your computer and tv for a long time
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>>9832652
If you really hated your life as much as you claim to you would have already killed yourself. Why then do you keep on living?
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spooks are a force that give us meaning
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8 years
Thread posts: 13
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Thread images: 4