Its Hard.

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Call me End.

I am living a life with pain, having Paranoia and PTSD from horror games.
Even though i know they are not real they are destroying my mental condition, with halucinations and a false feeling of comfort.
Ever since i started watching Slenderman gameplay and creepy pastas my mind developed Paranoia... and with it PTSD in the future,
first being just some halucinations here and there but nothing dramatical... but it changed after i've gonne deeper and deeper into
the horror of those games... getting more corrupted... i call it like that cause it will destroy you slowely... just a like a corruption in a data file, first
targeting the out weaker layers and then destroying the core... and if there is no anti-virus or something to fix this corruption, the file will be destroyed and useless.
that is currently happening to me, Halucinations, Needing to look back, Paranoia and more stuff that slowely destroy me and my mental health.
Some of those monsters i saw in the video games disapear of the time... but one of them hold onto me like they wanted to torture me... and some ain't even from video games..
they are my own minds creations... and my mind doesnt want to stop thinking about them... it just like a curse... being in a endless maze of fear and pain... trying to cry
but at the same time not, cause you dont want to get attention and letting others know what you got... either they call you a freak or a shizopherniac.
With more and more "Friends" becomming "Enemys" i have no hope that my life will ever succed in any kind of way... it's like god made me to have pain all over the road...
and this pain is letting me think about how to lower or atleast prevent it... and then i found a way to sin... cause of the pain that damaged me i needed to find a way how
to heal those wounds temporarely... even when they dont succed... even when the sins aint that big... but i fell like the pain is just getting worser and worser...

I beg you savior of humanity, release me of my curse and let me live a life where i dont have to fear anything.

Forgive me... for i have sinned... and it wasnt right...

-End