write what's on your mind

>>9775149
what's on your mind

what's on your mind

I've been posting on flagged boards under a VPN proxy for the last couple of days just to shitpost under various nationalities.

A day ago I was watching the powerpuffs girls with my little brother and it brought back memories about myself thinking I was Bubble girl

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I'm trying to find ways to improve my spelling.
I never learned it in school. I was in a special ed class and I failed every spelling test. I've been getting by using Speech-to-Text software to write but it leaves me highly impaired. It makes constant mistakes I need to comb over for and correct. I am also unwilling to use it in public for various reasons. All of the normal fags around me tell me it's a non-issue because I have speech-to-text as a crutch. at best they were reassure me that there is spell check or that their spelling is bad too. Somehow a deficit in writing ability is permissible to normies.

Writing is the only fulfilling thing I have in my life but this so-called '''disability''' makes it so difficult.

>>9775439
Spelling is certainly a minor problem and the most easily corrected, compared to being able to communicate ideas or even just grammar.

I just realized they'll come a day when 4chan shuts down and threads like these will be no more.

I just want to make some great advancement in psychology but I'm too young to have enough experience to make any actual contribution to the field. I can't tell if I'm just smart enough to realize the gap in intellect between the greats and I or if I'm just too young to have realized any potential.

>>9775555
i was thinking about that too, like how russia is going to require a passport to look at porn, it's only a matter of time before you need a biometric state id to post online in american too, they'll say it's to stop pedos, but it will really be to stop the alt-right, and 4chan will go down as collateral damage, namefag forums are bad enough, real name verified id forums will really fucking suck

Meditation is something special. I've had awful workplace anxiety lately, to the point that I start shaking and my movements become unnatural and erratic, but it's helping. Sometimes all it needs is a deep breath, but there are a few other things that seem to help out a lot. For instance, whenever I get wrapped up in my emotions and start to panic, I try to picture the scene from above like I'm having an out-of-body experience, and for some reason it's immediately effective. Another trick is to imagine the most relaxed people that you're familiar with, and try to see things from their perspective. The last one is to imagine the peace that naturally inhabits the empty space all things are taking place in, so that you realize the problems around you are temporary.

They're not perfect or anything, but they help a bit. From the small glimpse of it that I've had, anxiety is a special sort of hell. Every moment was unbearable, and any attempt to help it with normal means just made it several times worse. That's one of the curious things about mental illness - you can experience something straight out of a nightmare, and write pages upon pages describing it, but no one will care because it's not a reality for them. That's not a bad or selfish reaction, either. It's just strange.

attention all girls of /lit/:

please respond to this post. i need practice talking to women. i WILL respond tomorrow morning. thank you.

>>9775463
you don't understand, i sthagel write anething wthout spech-to-text. This is me tiping wthout dictesen srftwire. It's so enbarasng I can't even toraret it in my notes. this is beond the help of spell-chek, it's elitterse.

^when I try to harness the written word under my own power.

I used to read a lot of literature, but so far this year I've read a lot more non-fiction.

Finding it hard to get into a story. Not sure if I just need to slow things down or if it's a phase or what.

also, I think I am a genuinely bad person. I'm not sure how to fix it though... Not in a typical "degenerate" sense, but more in a deceit and manipulation kind of way. I feel as if I have an influence over people, but it's hard to explain. I swear I don't even do it consciously, it's just the way I passively interact with people. I suspect I may be a sociopath or a psychopath but I'm not sure because I don't do criminal things and I do feel bad for doing certain things.

>>9775709
protip: that's a terrible conversational gambit.

>>9775795
What certain kind of things you do that makes you think you are genuinely a bad person?

those who have not been torn have no value in themselves. the broken are more evolved.
just watched split. that mcavoy is a great actor.

>>9775845
Like I said I can be very manipulative but to what end I have no clue. I wear people down and chip away at their self esteem. And when they get upset I have to do my best not to laugh in their face. Maybe it's antisocial personality disorder but I've known for a long time that something is wrong with me. Being a bad person is just a symptom I think

>>9775573
>they'll say it's to stop pedos, but it will really be to stop the alt-right, and 4chan will go down as collateral damage, namefag forums are bad enough, real name verified id forums will really fucking suck
Spend 15 minutes on FB and you will know most people have no problems saying dumb shit online under their own names

>>9775149
The power puff reboot was a disaster, but samurai Jack season 5 was pretty good. At first I was upset at the finale, but after sitting on it a bit, it's sad but kinda hopeful. There is no more friends and the majority of Jack's life was spent protecting something that he only knew when he was 6 years old. So it's a sorta the right way to end it.

I still think bearded jack with armor is too cool to be only in the first bit. My personal addition to the finale would be jack wearing armour regrowing a beard patrolling his kingdom for evil, but finding nothing, before he realised he can't go back and has to move on to a normal life.

I miss you so much. What should I do?

I feel trapped

Im starting to fall for someone i have never seen in real life and just talk for years on the internet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFLK3bdyqEk

can someone ID the track that comes in at 4:30 that goes like "it's gucci!" and no it's not gucci maine, he used that sample, but i think this dude has the original, also this shit is gay as fuck so hopefully it will trigger some uptight alt-right hillbillies

>it's the wind
>yeah, yeah, word
>it's the air
>it feel, it feel hot at night n shit, but the sun ain't even out

it's 3am and its hot as shit with the air conditioner on, man fuck the north east, goes from cold as shit to desert hot every three months, too bad all those fucking nerds drove up the cost of sf to more than nyc

What should I type into this text box hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

oh shit 3am est, let's see what today's audible "daily deal" is, plz be lit or ttc, no genre fic

How do I read without becoming distracted?

it's too fucking hot to sleep, i'm just going to lay in bed listening to some comfy audiobook with the lights off and hope to doze off

>The Blackwell Companion to the Bible in English Literature

confirmed comfy

>>9775709
10$ to talk for an hour
50$ for tits
70$ face + tits
100$ cam show

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>>9775149
Gallic gay dick Mary Moses, Son of Jon, named Mary after getting caught with a horses cock in the grip of his hands and his father, what a man, grabbed his son and beat the living shit out of him and say him down and said
-if ever I see Mary Moses again I will do do what could not by Abraham.
And so Mary Moses took his name with no shame traveling from beer tavern to church steps leaving a trail of stranger smiles as he past the windows and citizens of garlic new towns often what he revived was little more than a frown, Mary Moses, the gay galic.

I will turn 25 in a few days and it occurred to me that my life so far has been a long a painful series of missed opportunities caused by my own cowardice and sloth.

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>>9776453
same tbqh pham

>>9775149

>Hey, stop doing this thing!

>Alright, I'll stop doing this thing if you agree to do this other reasonable minor thing in return

>No, stop doing that anyway though

>Well, no. Why would I, you are completely unwilling to reciprocate?

>LACAN BRUH

>>9776319
Why would I pay for tits when there are so many people making right tits of themselves in this thread?

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i dont usually post on here. however i wanted to express how i cant believe some of you are real people... so silly and foolish. im not even mad, it just kind of scares me.

>>9775772
Sorry about that anon, wish I could help.

Starting to think I might just study philosophy and literature to justify my failures. From a simpler point of view, intrinsically speaking, my life is a train wreck and I should be deeply depressed. Somehow though, I've convinced myself that in the end all matters are more or less superfluous and to not dwell on it. I feel like this is unhealthy but I can't bring myself to care anymore.

I wish I were more literate and articulate. I need to work on conveying complex ideas in speech with a sophisticated smoothness that to readers/listeners helps their thoughts flow akin to mine. I feel as if mastering this skill will degrade any walls between the medium of information sharing and the 'audience".

Or I'm just fucking stupid

>>9775149
I want to fuck Buttercup.

>>9776453
passed 25 two months ago.

same

>>9775809
you really think so?

>>9776319
$0 for a (you) ;)

Internet maintenance workers are utter scum.

Malice is the only origin, lifeblood, and possible result of all work.

I'd rather die a virgin than ever being vulnerable to the risk of being cheated on.

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God the Father is the Demiurge. All Master-Slave Dialectic diverges from him and converges in him. The culminating absurdity being that the allegedly redemptive thing and the alleged cause of abjection and the subsequent need for redemption are one and the same. A Cosmic "arbeit macht frei". And most importantly, there is nothing worth even a single spin of the wheel, to claim otherwise is to allow and partake in ultimate suffering. Pleroma itself is irredeemable were it dependent on such abomination.

I've developed a stress related shortness of breath because, I suppose, I never feel any relief from my anxiety. I went to see my psychologist today, and I was sitting in the lobby of the building. A security officer steps through the front door and tells me that I can't sit there, although I contested that I was waiting for an appointment. He told me that he's a security officer and that I can't sit there, like there was some sort of important function in telling people they can't sit on a fucking bench, which apparently has no purpose, in the lobby of a building.

I hate this city that I live in. In order to get to the building where my psychologist is, on the main street of my town, I have to walk past parking lots and look at the back of stores. The street is crowded with miserable looking suburbanites. I hate looking at them, I hate walking past them, I hate that there's not a single natural thing growing about except for trees planted on lawns.

I disgust myself, every moment of the day there's something negative going through my mind. Something that makes me feel stupid. Something that makes me resent an action I took, no matter how small. Because that's the sort of scrutiny you face, in the eyes of another person. Other people are always looking for order, they're always looking for you to behave in a way that conforms with their expectations. Don't go outside of the expectations of others, it will leave you miserable, and looking back at your actions wondering what the fuck you were even doing.

I keep imagining that there's something better for me in this world. If only I was born in one of those sophisticated looking European countries, or even a nicer part of the USA. Maybe my life wouldn't have turned out like this high tension, miserable, lonely hate filled excursion that it has been.

I hate those people on the side walks of my city. I hate them and their ugliness, the paranoia that I feel just walking around them; what if that person is the sort of moron who believes in god, votes for donald trump, or works some menial labor job without any notion of what it means to live but to live pay check to pay check. I see so many people who are just ugly and miserable looking. Then there's the kids, walking down the street with their friends. I can almost sense their conceitedness. Somehow they've managed to break the code of communication, and engage with other people their own age. This enigma of nature reminds me of writhing spiders or squids, slimy, in a hole.

>>9778462
Poor little low self-awareness baby. I mean, that's literally what your issue is; I'm not just saying that disparagingly or with levity. Now shoo shoo lil Berncuck.

>>9778462
>TRUUUUMP
stopped reading there

>>9778526
You voted for the guy who denies global warming. We're the only country on earth who didn't sign the Paris agreement, except for one which said the agreement didn't go far enough. You're the bitch of oil executives, who spread propaganda for short term gains. People like you disgust me through the very nerve fibers that send signals to my skin. I hate you. You are cancer. Please just die, in all due respect. I only mean that in the most respectful of ways. You should realize that you are cancer.

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>>9778543
>writes a 'waaaah woe is me' wall of text better suited for /r9k/
>calls other people cancer
Fresh off the boat from reddit, kid? Heh, I remember when I was like you. Braindead.

>>9778543
>implying I'm even an amerishart

>>9778552
Nice rock solid defense of your emotions through that swearing.

>>9778554
A foreigner who loves Donald Trump. That is pretty funny. It reminds me of those pictures of japanese people wearing shirts with american words on them, that have no idea their shirt says "fuck you cunt" written on it.

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Due to an instinctive demand to stay alone i feel i've finally found how I am to live. Now, the concept of living life like a work of art is no longer something that seems like trivial '2 deep' shit.

Like neech, jung and kierk seem to say, it's about courageously facing up to what you know you ought to do. For so long that meant nothing to me. The sense was that there was no 'ought to do'.
Now finally there is, I sincerely feel i have the capacity to meet the existential challenge in a way that very few have.

Unlike most, who are still floundering in the possible, I know what to do, I even have evidence from personal experience that it is the right thing for me. The sense of life going from gloomy and miserable to meaningful and at times hyper-abundant is a transition I've experienced by having faced up, with courage, to this lifelong task. And yet, I still don't do it. And i don't know why

>>9776678
Kek

>>9778572
Where did he say he likes Trump?

You, you're just a retard. You don't belong here.

>>9778588
You're not very smart, are you. He said that he stopped reading when I criticized Donald Trump. People usually get defensive when others attack people or ideas they like.

>>9778592
Or maybe he's just like any sensible person and is sick of hearing wackos like you whine about Trump all the time.

>>9778616
He's possibly the worst president in American history, but I guess it doesn't matter because of your stupid rules. Go fucking kill yourself you conceited jackass. The world doesn't revolve around you.

>>9778592
I don't care about Trump, it's just tiresome how every single faggot bitches about him every 5 seconds, you are like a drone.

>>9778644
I listen to a lot of Noam Chomsky lectures, so I have my not a drone card in order.

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>>9775772
Just say it is like post-modern or some shit.
Like it means something or some shit.
Make it a redrave against Madern Eddjukachon.
Are you poor or brown?
You could probably get your dick sucked with that shit?

>>9778653
Your actions say otherwise, go drone on about politics somewhere else.

4chan is shit

peace out

>>9778659
I just said that I like trump, and you take that as some big offence. Perhaps you're the SJW clown.

>>9778665
dislike trump*

>>9775149
what's on your mind

All the writing and reading I've ever done is mere escapism from how shitty of a person I am. I have no real talent, no quality, and I'm not particularly smart. I've spent the last year or so smoking weed and playing video games, avoiding my insecurities. I haven't read a single book in that time. I was going to type something erudite and face value pretty out while checking google definitions to make sure I was using the big words right but I'm now just writing this instead. I think I'm going to steal some crown royal from my grandpa and drink soon.

Resentment

>>9775149

The building is burning, the building is burning! Help! Escape, away! Don't you want to survive?

Oh, you poor soul. You're trapped in this burning room with me, and if I were alive I would seek refuge. Alas, I'm already dead, and you share the room with a ghost.

>>9778674
>All the writing and reading I've ever done is mere escapism from how shitty of a person I am. I have no real talent, no quality, and I'm not particularly smart. I've spent the last year or so smoking weed and playing video games, avoiding my insecurities. I haven't read a single book in that time. I was going to type something erudite and face value pretty out while checking google definitions to make sure I was using the big words right but I'm now just writing this instead. I think I'm going to steal some crown royal from my grandpa and drink soon.

you sound really young. shit's a process and you are definitely going to have to deal with some shit in the upcoming time but you've got it in you to do good.

here's some tips i've learned along the way, maybe they'll help:

1. make your expectations realistic, you're not gonna win a nobel
2. no vidya
3. spend time outside
4. cultivate, whenever or however you can, friends that share the same interests as you
5. save time for things that make you genuinely happy. happiness is underrated.

you'll be okay anon. you won't be the greatest but you can do a good job, and that's perfect.

I have failed at so many things that I no longer believe success is possible. I've fallen into a sort of learned helplessness where everything seems pointless and doomed to failure.

The only thing that will improve my life is sincere, sustained effort towards a goal, but I am unable to do so. This realization simply increases my self loathing, driving me deeper into a hole.

Help.

Shaking like a dog shitting razorblades. Waking up next to nothing after dreaming of you and me. Im waking up all alone. While youre taking your time with apologies im planning out my revenge. Red eyes on orange horizon. If columbus was wrong i'd drive straight off the edge. Ive got a big fat fucking bone to pick with you my darling. In case you havent heard im sick. Im tired of trying. I wish you would take my radio to bathe with you, plugged in and ready to fall.

I'm reading about a college student getting suspended from UCF for posting his ex girlfriend's apology letter on his twitter page. He graded it like a paper, using red ink and complaining about formatting, stuff like that. Apparently he got out of the suspension by hiring some lawyers that shlocked up some first amendment bullshit -- and I quote his facebook -- "As most of you know, I graded an apology letter written to me, then proceeded to post it on twitter, where many people then saw it and reacted to it. Since that time, UCF then decided to suspend me for an entire semester with additional punishments added on top. It has caused much stress for my family and myself, this also violates my 1st amendment right to freedom of expression, no matter who agrees or disagrees with it. As a result, I am sharing this story to alert everyone, including the 60k+ students of UCF, that our school is deciding what posts they like and dislike; We should all be scared and stand-up to this type of action! Please write to UCF or share this post to allow freedom of expression for all students!"

God I love this country.

>>9775149

>people call you a loser/loner/beta

>they hack your fucking phone and computer making it impossible to do anything without them ruining it

my god I hate roommates

>>9778863

Huh, haven't heard about that. An ex-girlfriend's apology letter? Doesn't sound real to me. Nah, doesn't check out. If she wrote it, she was being sarcastic I'm sure.

>>9778873
http://www.complex.com/life/2017/07/college-student-suspended-for-grading-ex-girlfriend-apology-letter-sharing-it-twitter

Seems pretty real to me. His twitter is even in the shitty article itself, with the very post pinned to the top.

>>9776453
Self-pitying faggot. Pathetic.

Fuck being a wagecuck

john mccain has brain cancer, finally that horrible little man is going to go away after a vile life of privilege, let's see if the conservatives joke about his death the same way the did about kennedy (i don't care, but hypocrisy is always a bad look)

>>9778731
>I've fallen into a sort of learned helplessness where everything seems pointless and doomed to failure.

so you've become a buddhist? fuck that shit u need jesus

>>9779103
Buddhist? What? No. I desire all sorts of shit. Also I'm spiritually dead inside.

>>9779119
i just meant buddhism is "learned helplessness: the ideology"

>>9779139
What I feel seems more like nihilism, or extreme pessimism.

All Catholics are called to be saints.

I am afraid

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>>9778657
>Are you poor or brown?
I'm a white cisgendered male but I have autism. Would that help?
The problem is I have a Nietzsche like worldview in which my deficit in writing ability is a deficit in humanity. Normies tell me I need to accept it but I see it as something that I must overcome before I deserve to live or be loved.

>>9778639
>He's possibly the worst president in American history,
that would be Obama. Bankrupted the country by continuing Bush's warmongering and introducing socialist garbage. He created the power of vacuum that led to Isis. regardless of his birth certificate, he is a Kenyan communist at heart. Dinesh D'Souza has a book and documentary detailing this. list of all is a possibility that he may have deliberately try to weaken America which would definitely be an impeachable offense (you liberals can cry all you want, you never impeach Trump.) Not that I think it could be proven either way.

>>9779139
lol

>>9779091
If by 'conservatives' you mean /pol/ then they also hate McCain.

>>9779373
by conservatives i mean teaparty fags not alt-right frogposters

i wish i wasn't poor and could get the healthcare i need. i wish assisted euthanasia was legal but i probably couldn't afford that either

>>9775772
I kind of like the style of it. Kind of gives off an innocent, naive vibe.

>>9775772
If you manage to give worthwhile messages, even if written like shit, will touch people. Spelling like shit may even be something that calls the attention of other people.

>>9779494
What's your situation?

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>>9779511
>>9779529
see >>9779292

Involved with a project at work
I'm lead
Another senior manager steps in fucks up and I took all the blame with the clients
Meeting today. He is nowhere to be found :)

Fuck him. But desu this has taught me more about life with dealing with this guy.. he changed my project to how he likes or wants it to work and it turns out it didn't work and he didn't let anyone know I took the blame and actually laid on the sword just to make the client happy but it's funny since it might not work and I will have to be the one to clean everything up.....

I'm looking for a job that fits around my schedule but I can't find one, and the ones that I do no one gets back to me for. Not even a rejection email.

How would I get a writing job online with an actual employer? Not some bullshit gig retardation from fiverr or some shit.

>>9779637
I guess I will say a little more since I accidentally used one of my Akko pictures.

I appreciate the kind words but, as I said in the post I linked, my values are such that I cannot tolerate my poor spelling.
I often feel very motivated to write while in public. Either notes on my phone or I want to take my laptop to my coffee shop because the atmosphere keeps me focused on writing. Aside from dictating everything being embarrassing for me I don't wish to broadcast everything I'm writing to everyone around me. Especially if I decide to write edgy material.

I thought about just wing it and correcting all the misspellings leader but I feel like I would just create another layer of work to do. An extra labor that would waste even more time then correcting the output of speech dictation software.
I should just great and bear it for my notes since I don't intend them to be read by anybody.

Furthermore I also don't wish to come off "naive" childish or otherwise appear under age when I'm on 4chan or IRC.

I moved out recently. I felt I was losing myself, going into my twenties without having any purpose or any responsibilities or any reason to leave my house. Living with mom's obviously a cozy life, but the situation was becoming increasingly overbearing, and I could feel myself being strangled developmentally. I'm now 21 and I still feel like a child. I've been coddled all my life, and now I'm a loser. Occasionally I try though. I hung out recently with someone I used to be friends with in highschool. He told me he ran into my ex and their discussion involved me at one point. Their conversation was pretty casual but after I had pressed him for details he hazily came to admit that they didn't spend long discussing me but that they had both agreed on at least one thing: That I'm a great guy or a good person or whatever, but that I'm a fucking downer to be around and I'm always Just So Negative. Which, admittedly is something I know and used to spend a lot of time beating myself up over, something that I had cause to suspect was the reason why people don't really trip over themselves to spend time with me anymore. But like, really, what can I do about my temperament? Just cheer up? Is that what I'm supposed to do? My life is shit, you guys aren't that interesting, and I'm expected to just go out and paint a smile upon myself and Have A Good Time? And that will just Make Things Better?

What's the point of Good Times if the second you get home the hollowness is there, returning immediately, waiting to drown you and you're left with little more than a receipt detailing your unnecessarily expensive bar tab, and a head-splitting headache. And what's worse is the loneliness, I only have one (real?) friend right now. Yeah we used to be close, and at one point we may have been best friends, but guy, despite our efforts we were at odds after our first drink. Our conversation was less a catch up than a subliminal oneupsmanship competition. Fakeness, wasn't it? Hostility hidden beneath smiles, how insincere we were. Everything about it was useless.

Why am I so conceited. Why are you so condescending. Why is it so easy to just be sad?

Is isolation really that comforting?

I know you think of suicide too, and if you did it it would be sad, but it wouldn't be tragic. You don't mean much to the people around you and truthfully, I can acknowledge the same about myself. You and I are awfully similar, but I won't go on to romanticize our relationship like you'd like to. You used to be a smart guy, and a fascinating conversationalist, but now all you do is drink proselytize your shallow brand of solipsistic spirituality with lackadaisical coherence and circular logic and a holier than thou smugness that does nothing but betray your disintegrating wit. I wish I could be your friend and maybe we could still be if we weren't such assholes to eachother, but you've sunk lower than I have, and I won't let you bring me with you

>>9775893
>>9775795
Read 'Good Old Neon'

https://sdmiller.github.io/octo/files/no_google2/GoodOldNeon.pdf

>>9779645
i know that feel, in the future if some project manager makes a bad technical decision i'm refusing to do it, it's better to have the project die right there, than to have it die a year later when the technical debt piles up and you have to take the fall, better to just walk, live and learn

My brother is going through some sort of psychosis. Not sure how to handle it. He came home in a massive panic because he thought very bad things were going to happen to him and the family. He seemed to realize it was all stupid the next morning and he was crying because he thinks he's going crazy, but then at night he got all worked up about it again. He's very much with it, but it seems like his mind is taking him down these paranoid rabbit holes very rapidly, making spurious connections between events, and yet fails to realize that his stories keep changing.

I'm being very careful what I say around him because, for example, he has mistaken a very obvious joke I made months ago for a threat and more recently I accidentally helped him articulate a certain delusion with a detail I gave him. For example, mentioning "a rope" has now made him include "a rope" in his memory/delusion.

Taking him to the doctor tomorrow. Really worried about my brother. Weird thing is apparently childhood trauma can cause psychosis later on in life, and is often triggered by cannabis. He does smoke weed, and has mentioned to me a traumatic childhood event. I wasn't even looking into that angle but there is an amazing amount of research about child abuse, psychosis and cannabis. I haven't mentioned the connection to him yet because I don't want to do anything to feed his delusions. I'm almost positive he'll be checked into the pysch ward tomorrow after he visits the doctor.

He asked me if I said something to him, and I told him that what he is remembering didn't happen that way. And he just said "fuck..." and his eyes started to well up. He looked so unbelievably anguished by that. He's had family members tell him all this horrible things that they never actually said, or he is confusing the context or reality of the situation. Just awful to think about what he must be going through.

>>9779541
I have a fucked up mouth. I need my wisdom teeth pulled, braces, and corrective jaw surgery. If I got my wisdom teeth pulled when I was younger, my jaw would not be in the shape it is in. This affects both my speaking and eating abilities.
Unfortunately, I've lived in abject poverty my entire life in the worst first-world country to be poor in. I am ready for death but not ready to an hero.

>>9780115
why not just explain: there have been countless examples of project managers making bad technical decisions that disagree with 'the people like me' and it turns out 'the people like me were right', costing lots of time, effort, money, shame, embarrassment, false blame, spent and wasted. I am quite sure this is one of these times. If it turns out you are incorrect with this decision, then what?

If you are so certain would you place money on it?

>>9780178
definitely the weed, at the very least or most its not helping

Holy Mother Mary I am fucking TIRED of being encouragingly rejected. I'm tired of being told my stories "made it far" or that my writing was "impressive." I want you fuckers to start accepting my stories for publication. I'm sick of this horseshit. Do you like my writing or don't you? Tell me you hate me, I'd like that better. Tell me nothing I write is good, at least that would give me fuel to improve. Give me something that I can sit and stew in, so that I can move forward. Don't tell me you like my writing, and then reject it. I fucking hate it. I'm genuinely frothing.

As I'm coming to age, an urge to explore the world around me becomes ever more and more urgent. I find myself leaving my comfortable bedroom and computer, donning on my backpack and walking, even if it's only around my pitiable, soulless suburban housing complex. I realize that the circumstances I'm in are tough, the existence in this city is crushing to any thinking person. There is no soul, and there is no dignity among people. This affirmation has long become an excuse of mine to justify my reclusive behavior. But even so, even as I'm gradually taking more walks, sometimes aimlessly through strip malls and streets, the feeling of being "alone" is more acute than it ever was inside of my room alone. There is no face I can relate to, and nobody I can talk to. My adventures outside of my computer have functionally become extensions of it. I do not go outside to socialize, but merely to silently spectate or find a better place to read, things that I already do in my room. I literally have no friends, and this is due in part to a recognizable instability in me, as well as an unconventional set of interests, desires, mannerisms, and attitudes. I think that when my senior year starts again in two or three weeks from now I'll have less time to adventure and place more value in my computer-alone time, and perhaps more irritable and less objectively introspective. I just wish I lived near parks good parks, or more dense urban areas, just so that I could get a sensory experience that isn't empty and monotonous, like walking down a desolate suburban avenue. I find the experience of watching and observing people more interesting than actually trying to speak with them.

>>9780327
wanna start your own publication? Gather a few people who feel this same way

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There's something really insidious about the faux-inspiration of pop music. It's very druggish.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DJC-ECU8IE

This scene makes my heart warm and makes me wish I were a cool crossdresser dancing in front of aboriginals and breaching cultural and sexual boundaries to touch upon something truly human! Gloria Gaynor makes me powerful, rawr!

Narcotic. The sewer ocean of cool pop music epic character uplifting scenes and its effect on your brain is tangible Spectacle. Its normie/queer avatarfagging. Same effect as romanticising oneself as a smug anime girl.

>>9780600
what if pop creations are entirely genuine, thought and emotion of a person? Does that not matter for anything (especially furthermore considering how they sink or swim depending on their resonance with the many people of society?)

"I like to listen to song A while I drive to work"
"I like to listen to song A while I shop at the mall"
"I like to listen to song A alone in my room at weeknights doing my homework"
"I like to listen to song A at my office desk"
"I like to listen to song A in the shower and I dance and sing along"
"it sounds good. it feels good."
Am I wrong? Am I bad?

my guts hurt because I btfo someone too hard in this very board. the guilt haunts me like a ghost tracing its cool fingers over my arm. I don't want to look into its scary empty eye sockets and face my destiny.

If you lose, you lose, & if you win, you lose. Nothing good ever comes of hatred. Oh, I burn, I burn, I burn. I've asked the lord so many times to pour cold water on me and keep me from burning, and he does, but I keep coming back to throw myself into the fire

also crossing my legs has got my g0nads hurting, man. fucking europeans how do they deal with that shit

I've been thinking about ... sex, always, as usual, like a fool, and also about america. I feel this place is rome2, a dead place which will never make rapturement real. the only thing that will last will be because of foreign adventurism and the money impulse. Do you know what I mean? there is no love in the letters of this continent. It is the very dead museum of the world, and this fucking roughness and coarse dumbness in everything. so rich, and so poor. I basically really envy centraleurope before the disasters that ended civilization, essentially.

Any of his readers at the time would have immediately understood what he was talking about. those who lived through world war 2 saw civilized nations engage in staggering barbarities, the likes of which had never been seen since the beginning of the world. that a land of vegetarian cafes and sensitive literature would be scourged by slave armies and torture machines... this insanity of reason, this barbarism of culture! Someone who wasn't there should keep silent and continue to scrape the mud.

Aw, I shouldn't have had so much caffiene, today. I overdose as always. And I'm all out of money. Fucking powerpuff girls. Why are we so cut apart from the rest of history? Would anything even make me happy? I have more problems that I can even hold in one hand, and yet I have none at the same time. So save your worry for real problems.

It's evident that a person comes to God through his own efforts, rather than... but get real. Think about it. Isn't it STRANGE that the only people who really pine for God and think about things in the Rodin sense are males in the 18-20 range of an angloeuropean/east-asian persuation (and far more the former than the latter). If that's the case, if all thought really is so contingent on the blunt cock of historical circumstance, then forget me and everything. But it's obviously true. There is no engine in anyone but us. So no objectivity. What a hideous spectacle. Why else? there must be something tied closer, in the sense of really mattering. I've often said that all of history, and all events in particular, is best likened to cats playing beneath a blanket. Each pattern bulges up, and we think it's something new, but it's the same old cats. Of course, we know that the cats are underneath, but we think there's something more. & perhaps there is. Some1 must watch them, after all. Some1 must be there.

>>9778462
Avoid resentment. Letting your misanthropy overwhelm you is making a master out of those you're supposdly looking down upon. You are not a better maligning your inferiors, but someone who's been knocked to the ground looking up at whoever caused him injury with impotent scorn and hatred.

Such is anxiety. We are constantly feeling injured by others, by the environment, by every thing around us. By posts on 4chan.

But if you hate the ugliness you see around you, make a point to avoid contributing, to avoid being ugly yourself.

>>9778462
>that's the sort of scrutiny you face, in the eyes of another person. Other people are always looking for order, they're always looking for you to behave in a way that conforms with their expectations.

this isn't true, people are pretty lax. more than you know. I hope time brings you coolness and sweet relief

>>9780178
that's horrible. I hope he gets better.

>>9780178
Had a sister go through really serious psychosis cause of meth. I hope he'll be okay, if you get him professional attention soon everything should work out. My sister now, with her meds, is in such better shape, basically normal.

>>9775149
Sort of still geek'n off coke right now. No clue what my future is going to look like but that kind of makes me happy. I like living for the now, strategically. But it's also why I can't get laid because I wait for girls to cross my path instead of putting myself out there. I have this infectious laziness with everything which is hard to detach myself from because it lets me be extremely content. It also helps with my family situation which is ubiquitously unavoidable. I'm 18, can any of you relate now or when you were my age? I've always assumed shit like this phases out when you have to actually pay for shit

>>9780615
No. I get very taken up in song. But I don't know how genuine or sincere it can be. It's very temporal. It doesn't last longer than the moment. It creates a weird bubble. Contemporary music is so fantastical and arrayed with so many otherworldly artifices - maybe it can take you toward something transcendent? or trap you in a cynical pocket of pure imagination? Heroin.

>>9780620
I liked reading this anon, and I think we are very similar people. Reading from the same page. I feel vindicated.

>>9775439
Start writing without the speech-to-text thing. If you're not already reading books, then start. Don't be paranoid about making spelling mistakes. Then, once your story or your book is finished, edit it. Find the mistakes and fix them. Use a program online if you must. To continue using the crutch however, it's not going to help you improve.

>>9775149
Didn't get any ebook sales yesterday, disappointed at that, hoping to get some today. Promotional thing going on over the weekend for free books and some discounts are going on even now so if the next 4 days ends up being a dud, I will be profoundly disappointed. I think the last book I released might have been my best one yet. $2.99 earns me over $2.00 per sale, which is amazing, but I feel like I should have set the price at $3.99 at least. Perhaps the next book, if it turns out at good or better than the last. I've been told by a fan (neither family nor a person I've met in real life, only met online after they read one of my books) that my books are continually getting better. Anyways, gotta keep writing.

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I love my mom

Thanks mom

>>9780691
Well today has brightened up fucking considerably in the last fucking 6 hours! Got 2 eBook sales and a paperback sale! Not only that, but the paperback sale was in EUROPE! One of my books got printed in fucking EUROPE! Got 1.70 Euros in royalty, which seems to be $1.98 US as of right now. Fuckin' eh! I've gotten downloads in Europe before but not fucking paperback sales! FUCK YEAH!

>>9780178
>He came home in a massive panic because he thought very bad things were going to happen to him and the family.

He's right though. Very bad things already happened and will continue happening indefinitely. The world is Evil.

>>9780588
The history of /lit/ is one big graveyard of failed literary journals.

>>9781770
Another paperback sale in Europe!

>>9780763
nice man you are

kill me

I guess in the end it didn't really matter.

>>9782210
I've been checking my royalty history, and since mid-late October 2016 I've attained the following...

>Paperback sales
14

>eBook sales
69

>Free eBook downloads
397

>KENP
9128

The vast majority of this has been since mid-march. Well over $100 has been made; paperback versions of my books have been printed in North America and mainland Europe; paid downloads of my books have been in US, UK, Canada, and Australia; free downloads of my books have been in US, UK, Canada, Brazil, Italy, Denmark, India, Japan, and Australia. That's 5 continents. What's on my mind? I truly do believe that at this rate, I will be able to become a full-time writer in less than 2 years via self-publishing. There are people who make over $5000 a month from self-publishing. I only need $1250 a month. I've already got a fan in the US and Australia whom I regularly communicate with, fascinating individuals and highly inspirational. It feels amazing, and writing has given me a renewed optimism for the future the likes I've never had before. For anyone sitting on a book idea that they've never gotten around to writing, I cannot advise enough to sit down and write that fucker. Over half a decade it took before I sat down to write, and it's changed my life; not a drop of hyperbole to be found in that statement.

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>>9776688
Criminally unchecked dubs

holy shit that dude from linkin park killed himself lol i guess he was actually depressed i thought he was just faking to get pussy oh well to bad it wasn't that shitty rapper instead tho i thought the sanger had an ok voice t b h

>>9783764
Are you... is that... where are English?

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>>9783853

>>9784014
Story please

>>9784021
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3033815/Man-keeps-giant-leech-pet-feeding-blood-s-hungry.html

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>>9784031
Anon delivrars for once in my life

>>9780679
I tried this by taking my laptop to a coffee shop. I was better able to concentrate on the content of my writing. Vim's spellcheck got a lot of the words I misspelled. I expected it to take longer to correct all the mistakes.

My ex just invited me to stay with him in his country for a while that will pay me the fly and that everything will be on him

what do I do? I don't know what to do

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>>9784014
>>9784031

>>9784528
fag

>>9775439
It's alright. As long as you keep trying and keep pushing yourself to do better, you'll succeed. I'm not good with commas or how to use "and" correctly but I believe you'll improve.

I feel excited. My parents are moving my family north to a different state with family, my writing has improved and I'm still coming up with more ideas for my story, I'm still in contact with people from school over Discord and it's easier to talk with them unrestrained and from the comfort of my room, school's almost done, I passed my English reading college class with an A, my parents' marriage is doing better, I'm less stressed out, and I'll be able to make new friends in my new high school. For the first time in a long time, I'm glad things are different and I'm glad to have a second chance. Hopefully, things keep getting better from here.

>>9780763
Moms are the best. They are the reason we exist, and I'm glad mine is here supporting me and doing her best. I'm glad she and my family love me for who I am.

I'm a jingly wingly singly mother muppet beard bro from a new dimension out to get the next cool thing that I suck into my own digestor system. Decidedly fat on sh-p-p-pain pilliams. Little Pilliam Shakespeares. I'm feeling so silly.

>>9783104
Congrats bro

What's the book about?

>>9784714
tl;dr lol

>>9779292
lol I never thought much about it but this post makes me realize how spectrum disorders could cause you to tend towards conspiracy theories. You seem like you would enjoy the musings of Alex Jones, Mike Cernovich, etc.

The SS Placenta carries sleeping, breathing vessels into the long night. Preserved in a living fluid that can keep the body chemically 'frozen'--a mass of viscous liquid with limited cognition that quite literally fills the human to preserve both fat and muscle, in order to 'meld' with the host brain and explore the mindscap--and forms a parasitic relationship with the bodies, which are electrochemically stimulated and maintained at homeostatis in self-sustaining pods that feed the liquid, which in turn feeds its host. The inorganic crew can handle any problems including security breach and firmly believe their destiny and purpose is to ferry the old souls to the new garden.

Hey guys
The best you can finally eat that pussy licking my Friday night to be some sort of thing to be ugly head and get accepted by all of us in the absorbed to be calm and sedated and it still need designers to work for you instead of Bud.

Life lessons for my daughter and her husband. The best you can tap into those hidden talents and skills beyond the first woman who's given us info bout the art and it still have food from the CIA and thus is about speed of biological data.

What do you have? Yeah, a few minutes to complete your registration. What do you want to be? What do you think you are not special enough to be calm mind non craving mind content mind. To all of us in our community and to some internet people who are not necessarily good. Your message is intended for use by any chance we can make it.

wow so i was browsing /mu/ for the first time in years and i was surprised to see it's not full of alt-right clowns like /lit/, i wonder why /lit/ is such a magnet for uneducated try-hards

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>>9784743
>You seem like you would enjoy the musings of Alex Jones, Mike Cernovich, etc.
Not sure how you figured I was autistic but I do watch Alex Jones ironically.
I was diagnosed with autism at a early age and I believe in at least two conspiracy theories.

I have a fetish that a partner of mine could achieve, but only at serious risk to their health. It's a difficult position to be in.

i'm so jealous of people who kill themselves, i'm too much of an egomaniac i always think i have something to contribute

Because believing Obama is the worst president and a Kenyan at heart is straight fucking retarded autism. An so is Alex Jones.

>>9784790
tell me the fetish

fuck my contact lense is killing my eye holy shit

>>9785049
It's a pretty advanced fat fetish. I like fairly big girls, 300 pounds or more. As a subset of it, I also get aroused by fat women being extremely unfit and out of shape. I even sometimes get aroused by the health complications of obesity, like high blood pressure, heart disease, joint pain, gout, that sort of thing.

Like I said, it's a difficult situation. It's not really something I could ever live out, not if I actually cared for the girl I was with.

>>9775149
They're hot.

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>>9784779
>Not sure how you figured I was autistic but . . .
You literally said that you were Autistic in >>9779292 . . .

>>9775172
You're ruining the credibility of the eternal leaf. pls stop

t. Canadian

>>9785133
>credibility
>a fucking leaf

>>9785170
We have great credibility as shitposters :^3

>>9784490
Well keep at it. You won't improve yourself unless you work at it.

>>9784568
It's 7 books, 4 of them are a series. Zombie survival. My next most popular book is an action that's slightly post-apocalyptic, meanwhile the final 2 books are dead in the water in terms of sales/popularity. Well, I know two people who have read one of those two and they genuinely enjoyed it so I think that's a case of a bad title and probably bad cover combining to scare off potential readers even though the content itself is fairly good.

I have a boner right now.
Thinking about sex n stuff...

>>9775149

CSF
meninges
bone
skin
hair
air
solar flair
space
heaven
God

>>9785435
Is actual sex with a woman worth the trouble?

>>9785650
I'd like to feel the body warmth and to be intimate with a woman.

>>9785650
yes. i've literally felt nothing more pleasurable than filling a vagina with my penis. It is warm, wet, and tight. And its not just some passive orifice: when you are having sex with a woman who has reciprocal sexual/romantic feelings for you, her vagina will quite literally twitch, suck, and pull against your penis. and PIV can be accompanied with kissing, touching further erogenous zones, dirty talk, etc. etc., but my favorite is just listening to the heavy pouting and breathing of my partner

>>9785689
sounds gross

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>>9785689
and to continue, masturbation can never replicate the feeling of intercourse, because with a partner you can fuck and be fucked. Its not your hand, or some pocket pussy: because there are two(or more) parties controlling the speed and intensity of the fucking pleasure is intensified sometimes to the point of discomfort. Through my sexual history i've learned that I have to give my partner orgasm first because my orgasms from PIV are so strong that i fall asleep directly after, sometimes in seconds.

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>>9785712
>>9785689
>tfw turbo autist who can't talk to women

>>9785712
>>9785695
sex is gross. If you've read any good number of books post WWII I'd be surprised if you havent encountered a passage with graphic sexual details. Sex is fluids, spit cum lubricant tears, sex is squishy sticky hot and hairy. And the fact that (If you are not hindered by performance anxiety) none of this is a bother should be part proof to how fucking incredible it is, that we are willing to shed judgement and care for these taboo or uncomfortable or private parts of our biology. Some of the most hilarious moments of my life have come from sex, where queefs and farts cut into heavy fucking and we fall into each other in a hysterical heap. Good sex is fun, pleasurable, healing, empowering, and transcendent human experience

>>9785753
The penis isn't much better, I don't know how women put those things in their mouths.

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>>9785753
as >>9785758 said, its a two way streak. as long as a woman is clean, as you should be as well, I'm more than happy to dive in. I Was lucky with my first sexual partner, she had the vagina equivalent of an innie bellybutton. Vaginas are intimidating, but with experience, and a mindset of conscious respect (or just consuming horniness) you will learn to love pussy!!

Cliche but I don't seem to get enjoyment out of anything anymore. I just give stuff away to see other people happy so I can live through them for a second...

>>9785726
How are we supposed to feel when we aren't getting any?

>>9785927
Like a failure, if you're not deformed or anything then you're a failure if you don't have sex regularly.

>>9785723
High five dude, how old are you?

>>9785972
25

stop ignoring me

>>9785997
Thought you were going to say something stupid like 18.

It seems like when you're in your late 20s, everyone starts to settle down, which goes double for "homely" girls. So even if you aim low there's nothing to aim at.

>>9786037
I pretty much accepted that I'm going to die a virgin at this point.

>>9775149
We're always talking about me, OP, what about you? What's on your mind?

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bugs.. easy on the carrots

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frens?

lol they'e gonna do another season of the hwndu flag, but i'm not fuckin with it tho cuz everyone on eightchan is gonna get indicted on a hate crimes conspiracy when some nazi froglord ganks the flag again

>>9775149
I had my second panic attack two days ago. Ive started a text doc where i put my daily thoughts. So at least im "writting" everyday. I opened up to my friend about my true thoughts; he laughed at me. Didnt believe me. I feel all alone. Their all the same. I feel hate in my heart for everyone.

>>9786455
maybe it's the weather i've had low grade anxiety burning my nerves all week and it keeps getting more intense

I hate pieces of shit boomers that refuse to take any responsibility on how the posterior generations turned out to be.

>>9786441
ate-chan is such weird site.

Aside from being a shitty 4chan clone, it's INCREDIBLY gay for a racist and misogynistic site that cries about the disappearing white race.

I think my cellphone has more processing power than my PC, what a time to be alive.

>>9786486
i hate boomers who refuse to retire

>>9786525
I think that's more understandable, a lot of old people die or get bed-ridden as soon as they retire, like work is what keeps them going.

>>9786530
yeah but that's only because they wait too long to retire, if you actually retire in your 60s like a normal person you still got 20 years to do shit, if you work right up until dementia kicks in at 85 and they have to fire you then yeah you'll probably croak a week later

>>9775149
Wtf why did she start ignoring me I didn't even like her I just dated her because I had nothing better to do wtf wtf wtf and then just as I start to actually like her she decides to replace me, ignore me, and pretends like nothing ever happened between us. Just who the fuck does she thinks she is, she isn't even that hot fuck her.

i think i drank like ten bucks of starbucks protein coffee this morning

>>9786486
Boomers, that's the generation with the hippies who became yuppies in the 80s right? Fucking hypocrites.

>>9786778
Yes.

i just took a nap listening to an audiobook on schopenhuar and had a dream that i was traped in some video game like maze with some manchild kid that was trying to collect something or level or something, and i was trying to figure out how to get him to this hidden area of one of the levels so he could get his special item or whatever

i think it was my subconscious telling me not to waste my life on this shitty website

I tried to argue with a girl on the reasons why she can't simply read Greek philosophy under a 'feminist lens' and that she should to be more impartial and objective but I just gave up.

Where am I supposed to get my LSD now?

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Male friend just wrote at 1 am

>Jo anon. Lets meet again sometime or something ;)
>Kinda miss you no homo :)

drunk texting from a different guy
WTF is my life turning into

>>9787826
danknet

>>9788067
that's the problem

>>9788049
At least you have friends

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>>9786116
Here you go.

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>>9775149
is this hell?
>Elliott Sweeny loves dogs, banana bread, Beyonce, sometimes wearing skirts, and pink rainboots.

>Curled up on a large couch with their mom Kym Sweeny at the South House Sexual and Gender Resource Centre, Elliott said they usually don’t mind explaining how they identify as gender fluid and gender-nonconforming, or use “they/them” pronouns -- but kids don’t always believe them and can say mean things.

>The next day Elliott asked for magazines to make a collage about things people should know more about, adding glitter and photos of Beyonce and trans actress Laverne Cox next to words like bodies, consent, racism, gender, and decolonization -- which they asked for help writing.

http://www.metronews.ca/news/halifax/2017/02/06/gender-nonconforming-kid-elliott-educate-pop-up-school.html

>>9788179
>Gender non conforming
>Looks like a 40 year old fat lesbian.

>>9788174
who wanna have gay sex with me.
.
.
.

I really hope i'm not schizophrenic. It's occurring to me that the thoughts I have of late are very morbid and can sometimes be invasive, to the point that they almost seem like they're someone else's thoughts being jammed into my internal monologue. It doesn't help that my mother was schizophrenic and that mental instability runs in my family. I'm having trouble focusing on anything; I can't sit down and read like I want to, and i'm not sure if I was always like that but begot with younger determination, and it's coming to head now or...that it just began recently.

The really pathetic thing is when I was younger I used to romanticize the idea of it. I'd envision being the tortured artist who aspires in spite of my disorder, inspiring people who read my work. What a horrid reality it could be, and to think it might drive me to just kill myself. I don't want to become a pill-laden husk of a man.

/lit/ mods are getting trigger happy, deleting lit relevant threads. pretty sure they hired a woman.

>>9775149
books take too much effort and take too long, I'll watch movies instead

>>9788252
There's is definitely a woman supervising /lit/.

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>>9788275
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>9788252
insulting mods

I'm an unlikeable piece of shit that will die alone.

>>9788275
agree

>>9788252
>pretty sure they hired a woman.
>hired

they do it for free bro, or on the case of lit she does it for free

>>9788275

Boards on 4chan always have female mods, its nothing new. There was a huge shitstorm on IRC back in the day over it because they were hiring women who didnt even post here, they just came to the IRC channels from SA.

I want to get back with her but I already fucked it up. What should I fucking do.

>>9788928
I wonder how those women got their jobs.

>>9775149
I've lost perception of what is real anymore, if I stare right now out my window onto the sky I see a screen that might get a glitch, as if I were trapped in a place where I do not want to belong, then again, I truly am. Without a job or wife, I hang on my studies to finish fast and begin a life of routine. I want to escape this false life for something better and my mind replaces this obnoxious crave for something more incredible to disguise the truth I cannot face. Maybe one day I will find someone who too wants to finally escape this "reality" for a better more comforting life.

i did 20 minutes of productive shit today max, total waste, even playing a video game or watching a terrible movie would have been more productive

>>9789067
well i did listen to that new lana del rey album which i must confess i found quite agreeable

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>>9775149
The game is treacherous. Many who find themselves unwittingly playing it fall into its jowls, only to be chewed up, broken down, and spit out as the fat they are. Its bounds have been lay down multidimensionally, spanning height as much as time. If you find yourself playing it, remember: half measures will get you killed. You may live on after failure, but inside you will be as empty as the vacuum of space. The rules are simple, and inscribed therein. One only need be able to see to read them. Many players remain blind. Of those who play, many will fail. As I write this, I play with a meagre hand; but I play as if the deck has been machined to my benefit, for the others can only guess the stock I carry by the way myself is carried. Cliches dominate the game—those primordial originals shall win. To despise thyself unto the game is the greatest step you may take in your terse painful life: to deny yourself a shot is eternal death—you will be forgotten. The rabble keeps score in the shadows, the referee pounds his gavel intermittently, decreeing at any moment that you be ejected, for all and good. Prayers won't help you; others won't help you; God will forsake you; you will perish if you do not play, with all you have to offer, with all you have to lose. Decide now your path. Choose wisely your fate, for in the end, your destiny will be determined by whether or not you opt to play—and how you do so, if at all. Godspeed.

>>9788332
with that attitude

>>9788238
how old are you?

>>9775772
Only on fucking 4chan. Kek

>>9788928
For years now I've had a fantasy of being rich enough to offer a substantial reward to anyone who could doxx every mod on 4chan. I'll probably never have the kind of money to make that happen, but it's one of my more sadistic fantasies.

>>9789262
you could fantasize about anything in the universe and that's what you fantasize about? doxxing the mods? i mean fuck the mods, but dude, reevaluate you life

File: 2017-Aston-Martin-DB11-front-three-quarter-07-1.jpg (233KB, 2039x1360px) Image search: [Google]

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>>9789283
I fantasize about a lot of shit, Anon. I have a highly active imagination.

Waiting while decaying
Hoping for the light to finally show
I wish others could see what's inside
They call holy catch a glimpse
Passing no judgment
Rotting alone shoved in the corner of time
Looking for it to strike zero
Nothing satisfied or accomplished
Hoping but never getting
Waiting but never seeing
Time wastes me
Forgotten with nobody alone
Reaching for connection
But always shattered by reality
With feeling of emptiness
Disattacing from something not hooked

some redpilled fag posted some story about bitter women in their 30s who were holding out for prince charming and no realize they'll never get a husband who has a job, but she had a good point about dating in ur 30s, suddenly it's not enough to just like the person's personality and body, you starting thinking like "would she be responsible and not do anything stupid if pregnant?", "can she be counted on to save money and not blow it all on restaurants and clothes?", "will she give my kids weird phobias or is she stable?" etc. which is shit u just don't think about in your 20s, in your 20s its like "hot? check, likes to do fun shit? check, ok let's go" now i just can't get interested in plebeian but hot chicks

>>9775149
Finally got my promotional thing up and running. Free books available.

www.amazon.com/author/jnmorgan

Details on what is free and what is at discount on my shitty website.

www.njmorgan7.wixsite.com/author

That's what's on my mind. Hoping to get over 100 free downloads in just 1 day, but it's going on all weekend.

I've developed selective mutism and it's unbearable. Not sure if I'm autistic, most people develop it from childhood but mine started recently and I used to be very talkative. I know people think it's really weird but I just have nothing to say to people I'm not comfortable around. Worst is when people comment on it. I don't miss socializing, I think most social interaction is banal, but the shame is overwhelming.

File: Vincent_van_Gogh_-_Self-Portrait_-_Google_Art_Project[1].jpg (4MB, 3142x3820px) Image search: [Google]

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>>9788238
>I'd envision being the tortured artist who aspires in spite of my disorder, inspiring people who read my work.

On the same sort of tracks, I really hate the idea of people admiring your work after you die.

When you're alive your work means nothing to anyone, then when you're dead and rotting in your grave and some fuck decides it is worth something after all. Usually making money off your name and not having to pay you, or claiming to understand you and your art/work. I feel like they wouldn't give half of these tortured artists the time of day when they were alive since a large section of them were so socially inept.

I wonder if I'll ever come to a point in which I would closely and intimately understand another person.

At the same time, I'm kind of scared about it - who knows what people can do to you once they gain your trust. I've been keeping myself distanced from others because of this strange fear. I'm pretty sure this is called the 'Hedgehog's Dilemma'

>Oh, great was the sin of my spirit,
>And great is the reach of its doom;
>Not the pity of Heaven can cheer it,
>Nor can respite be found in the tomb:
>Down the infinite aeons come beating the wings of unmerciful gloom.

>Not the pity of Heaven can cheer it,
>Nor can respite be found in the tomb:

This is scary.

One year later, this still bothers me
>If Stavrogin believes, he does not think he believe. If he does not believe, he does not think he does not believe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8D93Awa434
Warner Bros. are savage

Fuck