Self imrpovement thread

Self improvement books are a joke. If you really wsnt to improve get healthy, read philosophy and cut down all your toxic relations. Also, learn to think for yourself and be critical about it.

Feeling good: the new mood therapy by Dr Burns

Carl Jung: Modern Man in Search of a Soul

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Bumping this thread because feel the same as OP

>>9769642
>improve myself
>still not happy

Its almost like there is an insatiable will to live or something, hmm

i'm not sure it's possible, i used to smart but lazy, but now i've transitioned to hardworking but stupid, which is a lot better, but i've always been very stubborn, i don't know how much hope there is for a pantywaist like op

>>9770440
This.

Also unironically The Road Less Travelled.

>>9769642
Do you want to improve for intellectual reasons or for social reasons? Any way you self-improve will have some residual effects on the other, but obviously you need to figure out what matters to you most.

There is no such thing as smart. Concepts such as smart were made in order to justify the privilege of the upper class. What you need to do, OP, is to get a red bandana and let's go protest in order for us to finally reach utopia where being lazy is not a crime. FUCK YOU CAPITALISTS SCUM FOR MAKING ME FEEL SO SHIT ABOUT ME NOT WANTING TO DO ANYTHING BUT TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES. IT'S NOT MY FUCKING FAULT. FAULT DOESN'T EVEN EXISTS. STOP CONTROLLING ME.

>>9769990
What's a good book for cutting down toxic relations?

>>9771614
No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover.

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>>9770440
Thirding this. Tbh the best thing imo is just start with the motherfucking Greeks. If you know nothing, start with Graves' The Greek Myths. Then Homer. Then Plato. Plato is fantastic at raising your awareness and sensitivity to word choice and phrasing. I was once like you.

Also listen to some inspiring music fucko. That usually puts me in a different mood.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0sy7y54XAE

>>9771519
What's the difference? I just want to become a stronger person which will help me in life and maybe lead me to happiness

>>9771676
Well both will help you overall, but can also be done singularly. You can become interesting and social to others while staying mostly ignorant, and vice versa. If you want to develop both, and recognize that you have to work hard at both to integrate both into your life, then I can provide some guidance.

If emotional strength is what you want, try looking for a good CBT self-guiding handbook and use a journaling habit to keep yourself focused. Maybe branch off into Buddhism, Stoicism, or "A Primer in Positive Psychology" by Christopher Peterson for further emotional guidance.

The only thing that will shed proper insight into what will make you happy, however, is experiencing life and what it has to offer. The books can only point you to different paths and expand your awareness. They don't walk the path for you. Nothing you learn is strengthened or worthwhile without a serious attempt to apply it in your day-to-day practices. And given how most successful paths are spontaneous and unique, you cannot hope for books to give you anything other than a toolbox and not the ideal path itself.

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>>9771710
>If emotional strength is what you want
Yes. In addition to emotional strenght I also want a collection of values, attitudes, behaviors that can help me overcome any obstacle or pressure experienced, become more determined and rational and a better and stronger person in general. I realize I want too much and as you said books can't offer that much but anything would be appreciated because I'm completely directionless and don't know what to do.
>try looking for a good CBT self-guiding handbook and use a journaling habit to keep yourself focused. Maybe branch off into Buddhism, Stoicism, or "A Primer in Positive Psychology" by Christopher Peterson for further emotional guidance.
I will, thank you anon.

>>9770440
>>9770929
>>9771621
Sounds good.

>>9771829
>Yes. In addition to emotional strenght I also want a collection of values, attitudes, behaviors that can help me overcome any obstacle or pressure experienced, become more determined and rational and a better and stronger person in general. I realize I want too much and as you said books can't offer that much but anything would be appreciated because I'm completely directionless and don't know what to do.

That's an ambitious goal, you're going to need to break that down into several clear stages. Just learn to become more disciplined and focus on improving yourself while covering all of the basics. What is your diet like? How much do you exercise? Do you sleep well? What about your hygiene, is it perfect? How do you look? Do you take care of your appearance, such as your hair and your clothes? What about your posture? Do you meditate daily? Do you partake in an intellectual pursuit daily? What about journaling, do you do that, anon? How much "junk" have you cleared out of your life, from food to the internet? Do you take care of your relationships with your friends and family? Have you picked up a hobby? What is your career like? Working on any special projects of any kind? Have you written a pledge to yourself in clear language, perhaps based on what you've written this thread, that you can recite to yourself every day? If you want to be an ubermensch, you have to work for it and build yourself slowly over time.

-- --

In terms of intellectual pursuits and social skills help, I'm copying this list from the last autodidact thread because maybe you can find it useful.

-- --

>/autodidact/ Core Curriculum
/autodidact/ Core Curriculum

-- --

>The Basics of Reading: Nonfiction & Fiction
How to Read a Book – Mortimer Adler
The Art of Fiction – David Lodge

>The Basics of Critical Thinking, Writing, and Learning
Creative & Critical Thinking – W. Edgar Moore (*)
The New Oxford Guide to Writing – Thomas Kane
A Mind for Numbers – Barbara Oakley

>Liberal Arts: The Theoretical Minimum
The Trivium – Sister Miriam Joseph
Pre-Calculus – Carl Stitz & Jeff Zeager
Atlas of World History – Patrick O’Brien
Western Philosophy: An Anthology – John Cottingham (*)

(*) represent things you can't find online.

-- --

>OPTIONAL: Starting Social Skills
OPTIONAL: Starting Social Skills

>Essentials
Improve Your Social Skills - Daniel Wendler
<go outside and talk to people>

>Advanced
What Every BODY Is Saying - Joe Navarro
The Games People Play - Eric Berne
Nonviolent Communication - Marshall Rosenberg
<go outside and talk to people>

>Troubleshooting
No More Mr. Nice Guy - Robert Glover
Improvise - Mick Napier
Pre-Suasion - Robert Cialdini
<go outside and talk to people>

>>9771552

Don't worry, through illegal and contrived methods they're just confining you to only be able to play videogames, which doesn't really matter, because you have books and instruments too. They'll have to call it quits soon. They have a breaking point.

>>9771861

>What is your diet like? How much do you exercise? Do you sleep well? What about your hygiene, is it perfect? How do you look? Do you take care of your appearance, such as your hair and your clothes? What about your posture? Do you meditate daily? Do you partake in an intellectual pursuit daily? What about journaling, do you do that, anon? How much "junk" have you cleared out of your life, from food to the internet? Do you take care of your relationships with your friends and family? Have you picked up a hobby? What is your career like? Working on any special projects of any kind? Have you written a pledge to yourself in clear language, perhaps based on what you've written this thread, that you can recite to yourself every day?

Most of these are good questions to ask yourself, its part of an examined life.


>OPTIONAL: Starting Social Skills
OPTIONAL: Starting Social Skills

>Essentials
Improve Your Social Skills - Daniel Wendler
<go outside and talk to people>

>Advanced
What Every BODY Is Saying - Joe Navarro
The Games People Play - Eric Berne
Nonviolent Communication - Marshall Rosenberg
<go outside and talk to people>

>Troubleshooting
No More Mr. Nice Guy - Robert Glover
Improvise - Mick Napier
Pre-Suasion - Robert Cialdini
<go outside and talk to people>

Please don't listen to this autistic guy and his syllabus for your life. Figure it out yourself. Do your own research, come to your own conclusions. Don't be led. Forge your own way. These few words are better advice than you'd find in any of those books.

>>9772699
>Please don't listen to this autistic guy and his syllabus for your life. Figure it out yourself. Do your own research, come to your own conclusions. Don't be led. Forge your own way. These few words are better advice than you'd find in any of those books.
Well that was rude. If you struggle with social skills despite decades of life experience, then an autistic booklist is probably necessary as long as you practice what you've learned. A lot of books on social skills are also quite garbage, but these books are pretty good. And that other booklist on academics is very good for an introduction to becoming an autodidact.

Nobody forced him to "read the book list to succeed", I even emphasized that he needs to do his own explorations:
>The only thing that will shed proper insight into what will make you happy, however, is experiencing life and what it has to offer. The books can only point you to different paths and expand your awareness. They don't walk the path for you. Nothing you learn is strengthened or worthwhile without a serious attempt to apply it in your day-to-day practices. And given how most successful paths are spontaneous and unique, you cannot hope for books to give you anything other than a toolbox and not the ideal path itself.

>>9772723

Have I given offense? Sorry. Listen to me, I'm saying that anybody can adapt to any social situation IF they don't follow arbitrary (and often transparent) 'rules' defined by 'social skills' books. Attempting to use a set of 'skills' instead of intuiting every social interaction is a sure way to seem worse than you already might. I'm giving him better advice.

>>9772735
>Listen to me, I'm saying that anybody can adapt to any social situation IF they don't follow arbitrary (and often transparent) 'rules' defined by 'social skills' books.
Nobody said that people needed to follow rules. The problem with a lot of people with poor social skills is that have no awareness in social situations and no capacity to reason around social problems. If you treat social books as a sacred rulebook, then of course you're going to be led astray. If you use them as a basic toolbox to make you aware of general practices that you used to ignore, and then you practice introspectively, then they are a great way to get yourself up to speed.

Like I said before, some people are horrible in social interactions despite decades of life experience. And saying that "they should build intuition" without having a foundation to build intuition from is putting the cart before the horse and otherwise terrible advice that reeks of showboating from a naturally more well-adjusted person. If you use books to give insight into the basics and use your new awareness to find lessons on your own, then that's a powerful step forward for anyone.

>I'm giving him better advice.
Misrepresenting what I'm saying is not giving him better advice, it's misdirecting him away from a good resource. Might as well put freshman mathematics kids, who have only done calculations and not proofs, into real analysis and have them "intuit" proofs right away instead of teaching some transition-level classes on proofs first!

>>9769642
Self improvement is masturbation.

>>9772754

I believe we have a difference in opinion.

>>9772781
I just don't know how you expect somebody without intuition to get intuition without some sort of guidance if they've been thrown headfirst into a situation all of their life and they're still clueless. Like I said before, you're putting the cart before the horse, and in a way that has nothing to do with whether somebody searches for their own answers.

>>9772791

The only way to truly understand something is to be thrown headlong into it, and survive. If you make out worse, then just keep trying, using what you learned the last time. I'm pretty sure there's old adages and proverbs that go over this virtue.

>>9772796
>The only way to truly understand something is to be thrown headlong into it, and survive. If you make out worse, then just keep trying, using what you learned the last time.
I imagine that OP has been doing that for decades. What makes you think that he's going to make it out well this time again? That's insanity, IMHO, and I'd be willing to bet that he fails if he doesn't take a systematic attempt to fix his life. If you don't have any "know-how" foundation, then you're just winging it, and I can't imagine somebody having a good foundation if they're still totally clueless during adulthood.

You know what would be better? If he read just the first book, Improve Your Social Skills, and learned some "basics" to apply in situations. Then you can a basic toolkit to serve as the basis to start rigorously testing what works and what doesn't while making informed observations about how people react in general to form a better "know-how" about other people. This time around, there will actually be a meaningful thing to learn form last time, and this process over time will build awareness.