How has literature changed my life, you ask? Thanks to Hesiod

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How has literature changed my life, you ask?

Thanks to Hesiod and Homer, I'm recovering from an alcohol dependency. I've never been one to get blackout drunk, but I've always been a big fan of getting buzzed and staying buzzed for long periods of time. More than anything I enjoy the physical act of drinking. It's just something I can do to pass the time; taking a sip from the glass functions as an outlet for the indefatigable nervous tic than can express itself in so many other forms: checking the phone, jouncing the leg, clicking a pen, or, in 2017, goofing around with a fidget spinner. I was at a point in my life where I would drink a 6-pack of light beer and an entire bottle of inexpensive red wine per day.

One night, long after the nearest liquor store had closed, I found myself towards the end of a bottle. I was reading Homer's Iliad--specifically the portion whereupon Odysseus captures Dolon, who is attempting to spy on the Achaian ships, Book Ten, as it were. After the success of his co-operative venture, Odysseus is enjoined to take his fill of wine, and presumably takes more than one draught. Yet he only does so AFTER pouring out a libation to Athena (after whom the city of Athens, Greece received its name). Returning to my nearly-empty bottle, and confronted by the sobering reality of pre-Christian piety, I poured out my ex post facto libation, and was thereafter unable to drink for the rest of the night. It was a breakthrough.

The second breakthrough came soon after, when I read in Hesiod's Works and Days how a wise Greek would mix his wine with water; one part to four! I'd heard of Semites turning water into wine, but never of the ancient Gentilian practice of turning wine into water! I adopted this practice as well. Now, as Odysseus, I can drink my fill, and without destroying my body. Who knows, one day I might need it to aid in the sacking of Ilion! Sure I'm getting old, but so was Nestor!

So what are your stories, /lit/?