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Write what's on your mind.

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Thread replies: 328
Thread images: 34

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Write what's on your mind.
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I don't even feel like reading anything, I feel too stupid. Everything that a retard can't achieve requires some level of intelligence, and everything else is menial and pointless. On one hand, you have the world of climbing proverbial walls, on the other hand you have crushing emptiness and labor. All the while, I'm nothing but a creepy awkward loser. My negativity seems to always drive people away, except for people who are just as toxic as myself. It's like this balancing act, between being an awkward, bitter, socially rejected loser; and on the other hand maintaining some sort of image that seems acceptable in other people's eyes. On every front, there's something that requires you to climb a proverbial wall, because you can't just be a retard if you want to achieve anything in life.

Perhaps if I was mentally retarded, people would have more sympathy, because some people who don't care about the smell see that a retard is utterly inoffensive. But I am worse than a retard. I forget who it was that said the more intelligent someone is, the less successful they are as a species. So what does that make me? I realize that some people who seem to just be empty headed, vacuous hoes seem to coast by in life, without any sort of notion of what it means to be conscious of their own thoughts. Then there's me. All I have to do is think, and I've already committed the cardinal sin of exercising my thoughts; my naturally inferior thoughts which are by nature, lower on the dominance hierarchy. I am set up to fail by nature, if it was easy for me as it is for some people, who are by nature superior, then I would have never had to deal with these struggles.
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I feel like I have so much potential to do great things, but I think the reality is I am a delusional, complacent person who is lazy. I expect everything to fall into my lap without any hard work.
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like a flagert wallowander perching on a penny post kissing towards the tender sky, all the while the live long day reaches out to contort its hot bod. The sun shines in the shade standing there installing the cherry tree, sweat dripping from his brow; thinking of the moon light on the sweet summer terrace and the scintillation of a brief glance at her negligee, getting in to the mind of a tree chopper, or what is not worth it for some warm cherry pie
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>>9757695
This image was just recently used, you fucking faggot. Try switching it up for a change.
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>>9757695
My bitch of a therapist is out of town for the second week this summer. I fucking hate her. She never says anything she stares at me with dumb expression on her face like she is about to say something. Its so goddamn annoying. I have even stopped her and asked "what it is you are thinking" a reversal of roles or w/e just to see if that would get her to talk, she never responds. But on some level she is the only one who will talk to me besides my dad, and some lady who helps me out. It fucking sucks being mentally ill. I cannot stand it. The paranoia, the anxiety, the depression. The depression is not so bad its the goddamn boringness of all of this. Nothing fucking excites me. I am bored with everything. I hardly ever read, spare a few poems here and there. I hardly ever watch tv, I hardly ever go outside. Movies nowadays just seem like shit. I keep thinking of a note Hunter S. Thompson wrote before his suicide. "No more fun, no more swimming" I keep thinking that over and over, no more fun, no more swimming. I can't take it. I want to unlock my coinbase account and buy some drugs to OD on. I am tired man.
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I just fucking hate this world. And the human worms feasting on its carcass. My whole life is just cold, bitter hatred. And I always wanted to die violently. This is the time of vengeance and no life is worth saving. And I will put in the grave as many as I can. It's time for me to kill. And it's time for me to die. My genocide crusade begins here.
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you pathetic senpai
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I'm absolutely fine! Everything is going great, my family loves me I have good friends! I'm starting school and my futures pretty bright! I have something I'm good at, something I love to do! It all really bothers the hell out of me! Honest to god, I wish I didn't need any of it! It's agony, but shame on me for not smiling!
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>>9757817
I'll use an anime image next thread. Name your favorite anime and I'll pick the answer I like the most.
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>>9757819
A-a-are you me?
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>>9757819
Can you see another therapst? You seem like you hate her, but in your first sentence are you annoyed that she is out of town? or thankful?

want to edit my novel, for something to do? its crazy
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>>9757833
Dragonball master race. No DBZ faggotry
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Not judging, but how is this thread /lit/-related? Is it just because /lit/ is so unmoderated that you can discuss whatever you want as long as you say it in a vaguely philosophical way?
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>>9757864
WRITE whats on your mind.

In literature, writing is kind of a big deal. Whats on ones mind is kind of a big deal.

I do not know if /lit/ is supposed to only be about famously published books, or if writers are allowed to use this board to talk about and attempt to develop their own writing.
>>
i don't know why i'm always trying to avoid doing work WHAT THE FUCK
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>>9757874
I'm going to spend the foreseeable future reading up on Fascist literature and literature pertaining to Wagnerian opera.

I have decided to read what is closest to my heart, despite how politically incorrect it may be.

#sent of my apple mac book, sipping on a starbucks vanilla latté with the girls [will upload pics to tumblr and FB]
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>>9757991
i want to like fascism, just like i wanted to believe in communism, but the truth is capitalism is supreme
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>>9758000
>
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>>9758011
if ur going to believe in something made up and larpy so u can feel better how about how fucked up the world is why not just go with christianity, at least then you won't look like a total wacko
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>>9757982
i think maybe i should take up watching tv or movies or something, like i try to just work all the time without any shitty entertainment bullshit but then i end up shitposting for as many hours as it would take to watch a movie and a tv show or two so why not do that plus then i can have something to smalltalk with plebs about at work
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just tried browsing /g/ to see if any tech nerdy shit there is worth reading, but it's all so plebby, but they don't even realize how plen they are, awful, if u ever think /lit/ sucks just try any other board to see some real shit
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>>9758074
ok so i tried /r9k/ and i think i'm unironically going to switch to there, just seems like half the threads on /lit/ are some some wacko trying to push their pet ideology, why do people think they can come on a literature board and promote their religion or political ideology, get that crap out of here, rather read some werther tier sob stories from nerds and autists than read another crank pushing some mind numbing spooks
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Is it weird to have "ohh" in a poem?
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My next post I'm going to reply to this very one with "Are you me?"
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I'm pretty sure I'm in love with a bad person but it's too late because I'm already in love.
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>>9758089
never mind too much viral marketing for snacks
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>>9758096
How bad? Usually, those end up in ruin, so I'd be worried or at the very least cautious.
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>>9758104
what are some good programming / tech forums like stackoverflow but not with that stifling question/answer format
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>>9758093
Ohh, here she comes.
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>>9758105
bad to the point where she manipulates and uses people to get what she wants (probably including me) but it's all just part of how smart she is; I know she's done it in her professional life (she's successful as fuck I'm a bum) but these things are part of why I love her. But she's not a psychopath or anything—she definitely feels love and the like.
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>>9758117
Well, if you are a bum, then that means she sees something in you. Unless you have billionaire parents or something.
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>>9758104
i would get into /3/ but i dont have space on my disk to install zbrush rn, can u install it on a external?
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>>9758111
I feel like it belongs more in a song than in a poem. Am I just being stupid?
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>>9758123
no billionaire parents. I'm not really a "bum"...just a college kid
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>>9758133
Well, don't let it break your heart if it goes south.
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>>9758136
I'll try brother, thanks
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I am thinking dust resting on a marble cast astray within a void of almost literal black magic.
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>>9758094
OK, so, I failed. Please forgive me, anyone? Tell me I'm forgiven! I'm sorry, truly.
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I can hear her voice
You can't run forever
She knows I will try
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I am a vellum dirigible gliding on God's glimmering generality
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Another shot, down the hatch. Another night, in the books.
In the mind - the usual; in the eyes - the usual; in the ears; aural euphoria.
There's more out there, so I'm told. Where is it? I fail to see it.
Another shot, down the hatch.
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>>9757706
Are you me?
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I'm afraid to express what's on my mind because the girl whom I interacted with earlier and have been developing a crush on is a potential /lit/ browser. I know she's familiar with 4chan and has an interest in literature, anyway.
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I really have no idea how I'm supposed to live the rest of my life. I'm too ugly to ever have sex or a girlfriend; obviously I'll never have a family ... propagating my genetics would be irresponsible. Soon the few friends I have (two) will be married, have families, be busy, I'll be totally alone and with nothing. I'll never have any happiness in life and be permanently bitter, sorrowful and angry. This will never stop, there is no way it can be any different. How can I live like this? I don't eve want to die ... I'm too much of a coward, the idea of death frightens me deeply. The future stretches out as a terrifying, cold, empty certainty.
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I am a crystalline peacock handplanting over infinity
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I yearn for physical camaraderie.
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>>9758328
Me too bro .. it's a very deep, painful longing. Maybe I should try to fill the void with some kind of drug addiction.
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I'm here again. Waiting. Passing time. The day is over. I could do something new tomorrow. I need to go to the grocery. I'm the one by himself at McDonald's sitting close to the fountain machine not using a lid or straw. I do this every day for my one meal. I won't be going to the grocery, that is a common pipedream that usually allows me to sweep some other more difficult mental intrusion beneath a rug and think of something else. It's nice to not think at all and eat a Big Mac and watch stuff appear in the window and then be gone for good. Employees come and go. Customers too. Life is peaceful like that.
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>>9757706
how did my brain post here before me
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>>9758328
Try ASMR.
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I'm starting a blog and I'm thinking I might eventuate to writing a book if my philosophy is good enough and has a good enough basis to warrant a book.
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I'd like to start writing it some time soon but I keep getting caught up in my own world building. It's as easy as writing it one scene at a time and stitching it all together. If I can just get one chapter done this month I'll be happier than what I'm doing now; nothing. I'm not sure why I keep scrapping my scenes. Are they not quality? Am I not satisfied with how they fit into the plot? Am I afraid my friend wont like them when I send them to him for critique? I don't fucking know anymore, but every time I finish a scene and read it through a few times all I can think of it is "Well this is fucking trash".

Nothing's going to get done any time soon, that's all I know. I'm lost on how to self-motivate anymore. I can't say I'm depressed or anything but my drive just isn't there. I'm out of fuel and I cant find anything that excites my hunger to create.
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>>9758386
any core concepts you can share, of your philosophy?
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>>9758410
without giving too much away can you describe anything about the style, genre, feel, ideas of your book?
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>>9758385
I agree, but most ASMR sucks so I go with erotic Japanese ASMR so I can envision an anime character.
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I'm tired
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>>9757695
Oh no, I got fat again
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>>9758433
I'm trying to pull off stripping the cyberpunk genre from its 'punk' aspect and sewing in some semblance of noir in place. The cyberpunk setting will set the stage for a archetypal call to adventure that I'm hoping I can focus on psychological and political themes, pictured is what I'm thinking will be the focus of the novel; a monolithic physical representation of hierarchy. A pyramid shaped mega city riddled with corruption and usury. Think Cowboy Bebop meets LoTR and Jack London books in terms of the feeling you'd get from the book.

My thoughts on how to achieve this are scattered and I'm beginning to think I'm out of my depth with something like this.
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>>9757819
Don't kill yourself my man. Think of all the cool shit that may happen that you'll miss out on. Take a break, see the world enjoy life.

>>9757822
Hi Not Important
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>>9758431
well I'm writing about technology mainly, and the first book would be about technology's influence on man.

some of my edgier stuff is relating to job loss: ie
>technology is a tool.
>man uses tools to do *work*
>technology improves, need less manpower, etc.
>if your job is "replaced" then what sort of work were you really doing?

it's honestly meant to be more encouragement than anything.

I'll also try and dispell some of the self-help bullshit that is out there while I'm at it.

I'm not very /lit/
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I am not going to read anything in this thread, and yet i am going to post this post

do not respond to me if you want your post to be responded to

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chLZQtCold8
>>
Yellow yellow
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>22 year old male
>look 14
>funny but not funny enough for girls to let me take them out to eat. Shit atleast use me for a free meal
>Have to pay for this semester of community college. Idk how because I'm broke
>Got get up in 44 mins for my lousy retail job which mainly consists of being outside in this excruciating heat
>Want to be a musician but that will probably just be another endless daydream

Yeah...
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For the longest time I thought I was weird when it turns out I'm sort of just an asshole. How do you get enthusiastic about somebody new when ultimately all the enthusiasm you have about your own life and the things you love comes with a catch (of self-awareness)? I don't feel like I can take anyone seriously, because I don't really take myself seriously. How do you ever create friendships when you feel that way? Are you supposed to get over feeling that way?
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>>9758482
very deep wow wow
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>>9758514
>all the enthusiasm you have about your own life and the things you love comes with a catch (of self-awareness)?
what does that even mean? sort yourself out man!
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>>9758528
I wouldn't put all my eggs in one basket ;D

especially not this early in life...
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>>9758473
sounds real cool, stick with it
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>>9758512

>Shit atleast use me for a free meal

Stop this mindset, bud. You are literally thinking of yourself as a meal ticket. That is no way to be. Make yourself happy and content with yourself and your pursuits however you need to and the rest will sort itself out in time.
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>>9758597
That means a lot. Thank you.
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>>9757695
>you think of a story that you think is at least somewhat interesting
>think is original
>find out that your idea has already been used in some other book you've literally never heard of

Every single time.
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>>9758620
yeah I second his notion. definitely see hhow it turns out

maybe even just a few short stories? put them out there and see how they go.,
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>>9758653
if you've never heard of it,it's probable that neither have others
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>>9758656
It's Isaac Asimov's foundation series. I basically came up with the same plot, and didn't heard about this one until recently.
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>>9757698
Hahaha what the fuck Anonymous? Are you euphoric? Are you literally a fedora-wearing redditor autist? What amazing deep thoughts have you had that really set you apart from humanity? I'm sure, whatever they are, that some philosopher beat you to the punch literally a thousand years ago and the only reason you don't know it yet is because you are so poorly read and so poorly educated. Seriously, what the fuck are you even doing here? You're a worthless peasant, a completely fungible member of the proletariat whose thoughts and existence are totally fungible. Not unique in any way, wholly redundant and replaceable.
Goodbye.
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>>9757811
You're an overly wordy artsy faggot bitch. Just get to the fucking point and actually say something. Jesus.
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>>9757822
I really wish someone were willing to die violently to advance leftist causes, but I know that either:
1. You're a worthless red pilled frog poster, meaning you are a coward and death is too good for you.
2. You really are a leftist, in which case you really just need proper mental healthcare, which isn't that exciting, but it will bring you back down to earth and help you live out your days in some kind of positive way.
>>
>>9757819
Motherfucker, just try a different therapist ffs. It's not like you're locked in to just one therapist.
(And if you are, for insurance reasons somehow, please at least kill some some health insurance execs when you kill yourself. You'll be an American hero!
>>
>>9757811
Oh I get it! The cherry pie means VAGINA. Wow you're so clever Anonymous!!! Where can I buy 100 copies of your book? You are published right??? Someone with your amazing literary prowess must surely have a publishing deal right?????

Get the fuck out.
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>>9757826
Don't lie, Anonymous.
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>>9757982
I don't get it either, Anonymous. Life is hell.
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>>9757991
I hope you die soon you fucking Nazi.
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>>9758000
Ewwwwww. Get fucked, you spineless, soulless bootlicker.
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>>9758737
At least he's not licking circumcised kike dick like you.
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>>9758000
National Socialism>Fascism
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>>9758739
Fascism and communism are sucking the kike dick moreso than capitalism? Are you fucking serious Anonymous? Are you just trolling? Are you drunk? Get the fuck out.
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>>9758748
>falling for the goverment jew
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>>9758735
t. nicolas maduro
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>>9757695
desu i am on nofap so i am mostly thinking about fucc, licc and succ

i can almost see a giant ass descending upon me
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>>9758760
>i can almost see a giant ass descending upon me

Truly a beatific vision.
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>>9758771
yes, I will fall into a abstinence induced trance in which I plummet into the depths of that juicy ass and arise enlightened like shamans of old, having the knowledge of the very bottom of my soul, with the pun intended
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I'm hungover. So it's going to be an unproductive day.
>>
Lost my virginity yesterday.
Why do people make such a big fuss about it?
I mean it was fun and all but I'm still the same person.
I've read books that had a bigger impact on my life.
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>>9758989

he stands over the rubble of a ruined pedestal and looks to the rising sun born anew

just don't repair said pedestal like a dumbfuck
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>>9758989
Try gay secks next time, and be the bottom.
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>>9759011
Well said, Anon.
I feel pretty stupid for having cared so much.
>>9759021
No, thanks.
>>
>>9759044
>No, thanks.
Are you a faggot?
>>
>>9759057

Lmao I bet that faggot kisses girls.
>>
>>9759057
>>9759062
Funnily enough, the same night some random Arab asked to suck my dick in bar.
The amount of closet fags in that culture must be through the roof.
>>
>>9759071
That's what I always think too.

Also, am I the only one finds kissing other guys more disgusting than sucking dick? When I see a gay scene on TV with guys kissing I am much more revolted when they are just having sex.
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>>9757695

I am unable to comprehend the relative insanity of the occurrences in my life. I have wrangled a great power I never wanted or meant to, but I must hold fast lest it devour me. I wrestle with the most powerful, the alpha, and I am the weaker element, but I hold my own through some strange design. It is clear that I should bow to the more powerful, it is clear that I should kneel, but I refuse on the grounds that I am not free. If that freedom is not given to me, I will struggle with giants until they finally take my life. Then I can pass on, knowing that I fought and never truly lost in spirit, only in body.
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>>9759104

If anyone ever told you to kill yourself, fighting the establishment would be one way to do it. They'd kill you.

It might be a little disappointing though, the manner in which you chose your suicide. It harms everyone you ever knew or loved. You're still killing yourself like they wanted, but now they suffer a worse fate for it as well.

Its reminiscent of one of Aesop's Fables. Or, I can put it more succintly: be careful what you wish for.
>>
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>>9759114

I know the fable you're talking about.

Two neighbours came before Jupiter and prayed him to grant
their hearts' desire. Now the one was full of avarice, and the
other eaten up with envy. So to punish them both, Jupiter granted
that each might have whatever he wished for himself, but only on
condition that his neighbour had twice as much. The Avaricious
man prayed to have a room full of gold. No sooner said than done;
but all his joy was turned to grief when he found that his
neighbour had two rooms full of the precious metal. Then came the
turn of the Envious man, who could not bear to think that his
neighbour had any joy at all. So he prayed that he might have one
of his own eyes put out, by which means his companion would become
totally blind.

Vices are their own punishment.
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>>9758600
You'll go thru hell but be a better person in about 15 years. I was exactly like you when i was young then the "love of my life" left me. She lied to me for a few years then left me cold one day. Biggest shock turned out to be the biggest blessing. Now i have that tortured serious look in my eye and people respect me for no fucking reason. I still look like a kid but people's attitude has definitely changed toward me.

All the best.

TLDR: Don't worry. You need loss to become a man. No amount of facial aesthetics will do it.
>>
>>9759080

>When I see a gay scene on TV with guys kissing I am much more revolted when they are just having sex.

It's the tenderness that makes it worse. It would be less horrific to see two dude hate fuck each other then see them make out. That seems nonsensical in theory but I get what you mean. I'm indifferent to gay people in regular life but it really does skeev me out to see that.
>>
>>9758989
Yea it's no big deal, it's generally something you look back and laugh at as you get older.
>>
>>9757850
DBZ is where it's at, fagote. Muh power levels. Seriously though, when they mattered, I found it to be an awesome concept. Not simply "this dude is stronger than that dude", but, "IT'S OVER 9000!" It can give more intensity to one's strength, and it's more exact than giving a demonstration like "watch how I can crack this boulder in half with one punch" or "watch how I can lift this space-ship and throw it into orbit" or something.

>>9758000
Trips of truth, capitalism is supreme... but why do you want to like fascism? Also, what exactly IS fascism? Capitalism is, when you boil it down, getting paid for bettering or contributing to society in some way, shape, or form. Communism is about making everyone equal and allowing nobody to have any sort of superiority whatsoever (which is why in theory all attempts at Communism were not true attempts because there was always a ruler). Fascism is... the suppression of any other ideals? Is it basically a dictatorship when you get right down to it? I want to understand.

>>9758512
>Going to College
In this day and age, literally, why. Why would you want to deal with all the braindead leftists who are all 'muh wagegap', 'muh oppression', 'muh patriarchy', 'muh white privilege', 'muh Communism', 'muh fake Nazis are bad and should be punched in the face', etc. People used to go to College to prepare themselves for a better future. You'll leave College even less prepared for life than when you went in.

>>9758959
Why the fuck didn't you drink water? Seriously, it's that fucking simple. Don't drink while hungry, and drink a lot of water before and after drinking (preferably during as well). I drank about 17oz (500ml or so) of nearly 60% rum last night, granted most of it was watered down to half strength but some of it was straight too. In spite of that, I wrote just over 1500 words this morning, approaching the 40,000-word mark in my latest book. What's your excuse?

>>9758989
Congrats. I lost my virginity by fucking a chick in the ass since we didn't have a condom handy. It was pretty fun. As far as the importance of virginity, for guys it's a symbol of shame. For girls, it's a symbol of purity and, well, tightness more than likely. Though among girls it may very well be a symbol of shame too but I dunno, I have a penis.
>>
>>9759139

Yeah, me too. That's what I meant.
>>
>>9759148
>Why the fuck didn't you drink water?
Sorry, Dad.
>>
>>9759158
Whatever, just get to writing if you think you're a writer. I had writer's block for about a month and a half recently, sucked balls, but I'm back to daily writing for almost 2 weeks now. In the last 13 days I've written about 22,000 to 23,000 words. NaNoWriMo is in 3.5 months; are you ready?

Just realized you didn't specify anything about writing, just 'unproductive', so I might be speaking nonsense at the moment...
>>
I never showed my penis to anyone, it's way too small.
>>
>>9759148
>What's your excuse?
I'm writing something good and not DBZ inspired hypographic garbage while trying to play the big man against multiple /lit/ posters. Seriously you sound like you're having a manic episode.
>>
>>9759202
I'm still a little drunk from last night. I also had coffee; feel talkative. I'm also sore from all the walking I've been doing. Anyways, gonna have another cup, not as strong as the last, and might get more writing done. The Muslim wants to fuck his child bride.
>>
>>9759217
Maybe cool it on the coffee entirely.
>>
>>9759226
Nope.
>>
>>9759197
show it to a hooker, they've probably seen smaller
>>
Bought some new underwear lads, had a bit of banter with the cute checkout girl and I hear live music coming from the park. Might take a walk down there in a bit. Could be a good day.
>>
>>9759261
what did they say about it?
>>
>>9759114

Hm, this is an interesting way to look at it. I mean, if you want someone to die by their own hand, because certain conditions make you killing them impossible, things become strange. You can try and make them kill themselves, but what if its not a quick bang, like most suicides? What if its long, and drawn out, over years watching this man suffer- it might pull at your own sanity. Knowing you caused it, the pain of the consequences of the death, still taking place. Its almost like being flayed alive. You wanted them dead, quickly, but this... this is like they're skinning you while being skinned. Its horrible. Hm.
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I wish it were worse. At the bottom there is conviction. Upclimbing is difficult, but so too the steep descent, for one's self rebels against it.
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>>9759292
Are we talking about apathy whose roots lay in the caring arms of the devouring mother? Those arms who fend off danger and responsibility, destroying the lessons of independence and self determination with it. Are we talking about longing for just a sliver of tangible suffering or challenge to face alone and figure out rather than having the all compassionate fist of parental authority come down upon it before you can try?

If there's one thing I despise my parents for, it's their absolute unwillingness to let anything get in my way. I'm left with this pitiful being that feels no drive, no spirit for struggle. I'm left blaming myself for an inadequate determination; but I know in truth that it is not my fault that I was never allowed to integrate that into my personality as a child. Every sharp edge, every hurtful word; contested by another in my place. I knew what it was to be hurt, but to fight back? No. I was never allowed to learn that because my suffering was not an option.

But what can I do but love them for caring so instinctively about me that they would go to such lengths to see that I was never hurt? I can't help but love them for the immense effort they but into me despite the disastrous result. They couldn't have known I'd turn out like this, otherwise they wouldn't have done things the way they did.

What solution can I find for this state I've found myself in? Do I live contently with my soulless self? I think not. Instead I should cast myself headfirst into chaos and seek out suffering willingly. I should want to find myself an abyss and not merely stare into it, but step forth into it and be consumed. A suicidal act awaits me at either end of whichever path I choose, but with this I could emerge intact and changed. I think that's worth the risk more so than what the other path offers.
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I am not only my own keeper but since I have no brother I am my fathers keeper as well. I have to do my duty as a son. I have to be successful. Family first. I cannot let him down.
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"GMO vs. organic" is one of the most cancerous topics that can be debated. It seems like NOBODY understands what is the real issue anymore because the field has been scorched over by obfuscation and omission. No, "natural" doesn't mean better, and that includes natural pesticides. No, nobody refers to selective breeding when they mean GMO. They are referring to transgenesis, which isn't about encouraging or discouraging what traits were there previously, but instead introducing new genes in the interests of changing phenotype with uncertain biological consequences. It all boils down to the biochemistry of everything, or whether some agricultural tool has the potential to negatively impact either the people or the planet. Read some Silent Spring and you might understand the long-term impacts of not getting the science right, which even popular science educators seem to not care about anymore in the interests of browbeating ignorant hippies.

GMO refers to transgenesis, or the mechanism of inserting genetic material into the cells of animals and plants in order to produce a trait that they otherwise wouldn't have. We're not talking about making cows bigger, which is basically just a spin on the same old biochemical landscape. Instead, we're talking about the ability to engineer industrial products into the cellular processes of an organism. I'm not a luddite, and I don't believe in the inherent safety of "natural" or the inherent danger of "artificial" because it's all about the chemistry. To say that GMO is safe or dangerous is as fucking stupid as saying that cooking is safe or dangerous. It's not THE PROCESS that is dangerous, but THE PRODUCT. If I cook steak for a certain amount of time, then it's safe for consumption. If I cook steak until it is beyond charred, or if I cook a heap of plastic, then it's toxic. If your transgene is meant to selectively induce pesticide production in the leaves but not the fruits of your berries, then I want long-term studies that demonstrate that the pesticides will ONLY be in the leaves, that there will be NO CHANCE of pesticide production in those berries, and that there will be NO LONG-TERM health impacts on humans.

It's funny how this is all plainly obvious to somebody who has taken a basic genetics 101 class, and yet neither the scientists nor the skeptics seem to have addressed the core issues. It's literally a debate lacking any semantic content, instead engaging in nothing but misdirection and sophistry. Faggots, it's not everybody vs. GMO, nor is it everybody vs. organic. It's GMO and organic vs. the consumer, and it's up to us to keep companies accountable for the safety of their product. Each and every transgene has a unique biochemical effect. You test each and every single drug for potential side effects. Why should GMO be any different?
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>>9759444
Lucky trips. Do your best, anon.
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>>9759461

>It's funny how this is all plainly obvious to somebody who has taken a basic genetics 101 class

It might be plainly obvious to some, but no one can move forward if there's that one fucking guy who doesn't know what's going on
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>>9757706
This is pretty much a Barnum statement
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>>9757706

Almost the same for me. I feel I definitely have the potential to do great things, but I've run afoul of some bad luck I guess and it almost seems like the world at large is intent on holding me back. Why won't this bad luck just go away, and allow me to thrive? Curse this luck, I shall make it my foe: I cannot abide a force that injures me so.
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>>9759476
Yeah but even the fucking scientists don't get it, or they do get it and refuse to engage with the other side to make the discussion productive. When people talk about "Monsanto shills", I sympathize with them, because they're arguing with people who know FAR more about EVERYTHING than they do, and yet in the interests of winning an argument, they only address the positives without a moment to cover the negatives, as if they don't exist. If you think of knowledge as some sort of power dynamic, then it is a rigged debate by the educated people who we trust to keep us safe against the skeptics. Beware of the dishonesty of the obfuscation and the omission.
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Can happiness only be found in subjective beliefs? Because objectively this world is a nightmare.
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>>9759504

Well in those scientist's defense, they are debating on their own product. They must keep their own self interest, as any other person would. If this involves skimming over facts, then they will do that, however this is a double edged blade. If one side exposes an omission then they other might as well, and if both are true it leaves them deadlocked in a ghastly academic doldrum; both sides have their grievances and points to make, and the truth falls into a grey area. If one takes into account all the factors that ever played into the debate, the debate would never end, or at least they would grow tired of it, because there was too much to cover.
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>>9759543
>Well in those scientist's defense, they are debating on their own product. They must keep their own self interest, as any other person would.
Sure. Everybody does this, especially when they make value judgments about the cons being unimportant and the pros being worth the risks. But it takes a certain kind of cynicism, dishonesty, and downright evilness to constantly misdirect, obfuscate, and omit what NEEDS to be discussed.

All it does is make me rationalize the distrust of the ignorant because it's not like the scientists ever tried and it seems like they're more interesting in pulling off the next "Ford Pinto" cost-benefits risk analysis when people start dropping dead from neurotoxic products accumulating in their systems.

>and if both are true it leaves them deadlocked in a ghastly academic doldrum; both sides have their grievances and points to make, and the truth falls into a grey area.
The balkanization and cloistering of the internet has made it impossible for the "right" ideas, or at least the "right" framing to spread anymore. It's all about "being on the right side of science" or about "standing to evil Monsanto" instead of using the scientific method to investigate what are the healthiest and most sustainable ways to raise agriculture.

Fuck even talking about it makes me angry. It's a real blackpill about how all debates are doomed to never be resolved because they were rigged by the people who had the power to make it about seeking the truth.
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>>9759513
Happiness, bliss, love, and all other good moments in your life would be nothing special if they were present moreso than the lesser states of being. It's a fleeting feeling, like the moment of victory after the laborious struggle to attain it, or the snapshot in time where your eyes meet with the object of your infatuation. For the limited periods of time those moments occupy, you can construct value paramount in meaning than what any other feeling could justify.
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>>9759513
Consider that the world would be fine if you were someone that was happier than you.
>>
I went on a ten mile walk last night and I haven't showered, so I stink this morning. WEW
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>>9759513
>objectively this world is a nightmare
No, that's actually subjective.
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>>9759597

No, the world would still be fucked up, I'd just be someone else and happier. Causality, my dude.
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>>9759708
Well, right now the world is still happy and you're just someone who's not, how about that?
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Consider the toil necessary to make bread relative to the end result's utility. All work has negative value.
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I've spent so long seeing women as fundamentally other than men that I can't enjoy them as mundane human people anymore, or at least I'm straining to do so. I completely forget their raw, boring, this-worldly, gritty physicality. When I see a woman now, it's like I see some kind of ethereal being made of pure sex, like they're composed of some sort of pink fluffy light that smells nice. It's like they're not even made of normal baryonic matter. This is kind of cool, in a way, or it was for a while, because I could do weird mental gymnastics with it in my head while fucking them or courting them. It was kind of aesthetically interesting. But I've realized that it has also made them like Aristotelian or pre-Socratic godhead, grounding reality or acting as a great attractor and primum movens for it, while not being at all immanent in it. It's made them frustratingly inaccessible.

I keep trying to do weird shit like re-remember or meta-recognize that women are just people. Just people, just like me, made of flesh and blood. But it's getting into strange territory, like I'm forcing myself to consider not only "This is a human, like me" or "This is a particular human being, not just a manifestation of the essence of femininity," but "This is just some hairless chimp made of matter" or "This bitch sweats and gets dirty and has imperfections just like I do." Now I'm going too far into imperfection territory just to compensate for the ethereality, and somehow it still isn't enough. And I'm worried that once I go all the way into focusing on imperfection, or dwell there for too long, I'll forget women-as-ethereal, and only be able to see women-as-gritty-material, and I'll have to restart the whole fucking process in the other direction, and I'll never actually find some happy indifference point that unifies both aspects.

Sometimes I think that the solution might be to stop trying to comprehend women with my current resources, to stop trying to solve the problem inside my own head by constantly re-orienting my conceptual determination of what "Woman" is, and instead seek out a woman who can surprise me with new wholly information, who can bowl over my conceptualization attempts and forcibly reshape my mind and remind me that I'm not trapped inside it. But I get trapped in a loop of trying to imagine how I could ever possibly be surprised by a woman, then realizing, that's the point, it would be a surprise, then thinking, well, how could I be surprised? I've already thought of everything that could happen. Etc. Sometimes I get flashes of hope that the right woman could grab me by the throat and tell me to eat her ass faster than my brain could decipher it as a cliche or project the next ten things she's going to do after that, and that I'm on the cusp of a breakthrough if I can just find the right girl to break me out of this slump. But I'm worried.
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>>9760183
I actually read all of this and enjoyed it.
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>>9760183
That's not how women work, you need to grab them yourself.
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>>9758685
>>9758725
The elipsis sort of set off thata way towards the mid day sun, oft overt the horizon beyond the shuffling gulls of sea and the misty thwap of crashing waves bursting skyforth to rush towards their eternal bask, into the airy confines of our all mothers womb of wonder. A prancing nickelbug scurrying unto the water to escape a taunting eel as the studious children take their reprieve from the daunting desolation that is the ever coming of all possible desires of their life. But not to worry, just a day, just a day, here and there, and then gone, forever kept in that dusty stack of shelves, much too much to revisit, but for a while, but for some time, we were all there, on the warm sand, encompassed by our northern sun, and as she moves on so too must we, another day, another day here, another day there. The sea stays, the misty sea, cooing, cooling the birds and fish, and babes, the sea always stays, so too does the sun, even when it goes, but onward, more so, we, shall come and go, and store these times amongst our heart, for heal, and for ache.
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>>9758725
Actually I wasnt thinking about that at all. I was thinking about George Washington and the cherry tree story, and the potential of sacrificing a cherry tree that looks good in your yard to maybe open up a cherry pie business, you fucking retarded idiot
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>>9760121
This is scientifically proven.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trophic_level#Biomass_transfer_efficiency
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>>9758682
I bet trying to make people bad makes your peepee tingle, doesn't it? Where did you get that from, your parents?
Anyways, how retarded do you hve to be to believe that you have to be educated to be on /lit/
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>>9760183
You could have been born a woman. Just as you found yourself born into this world as a man, women find themselves born into the world as a woman. Just chance that you were not as such
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>>9760121
>>9760251
But a few people here and there, dedicate themselves to make a massive field of wheat, and a few people here dedicate themselves to make yeast, etc. etc. and a few people dedicate themselves to turning those products into bread.

So there is the amount of people that are responsible for making bread, and then the amount of people that eat bread. And for the people responsible to make bread, they get to live, and get money, which allows them to access the creations of all others. So somehow everything works out quite perfectly, and the taste of some good warm fresh bread is an infinite delight, especially considering the amount of work one must do to access a loaf
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>>9760238
'oft overt the horizon' doesn't mean anything.

If you're translating this via google I understand, if not just delete it all.
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>tfw too smart for /lit/ but too dumb to hang around with actual patricians
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I wonder if it's possible to redesign myself to take in life slower. I've spent the past few years attempting to take in as much pleasure as possible, and the result made me enjoy life less as a whole. Whenever I think of how my ideal self is, I imagine the parents of one of my childhood friends. They spent almost all of their free time just relaxing on their front porch and adding pretty decorations to their lawn. Even the father walked around shirtless, which is uncommon for the suburbs. I want to live a life like that, and not have to think or worry about things which aren't all that important. Whenever I run into people with this trait, the sense that they're living life to its fullest is impossible to ignore.

I need to start meditating again.
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>>9760294
>'oft overt the horizon' doesn't mean anything.
It means 'often moving the horizon to one side in a slightly askew fashion'.
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>>9760288
Specialization makes worms of us all.
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Spiral of self doubt.

Read of manic depression. Wonder it that's me. I won't ask because the doctor always looks at me like I'm making things up to be interesting.

Once in six months, there is a day when I would set out to climb the highest mountains. I'm filled with optimism to the brim for no reason. But then real me kicks in and the contrast is terrifying.

I joke that I want to die and people at work find it slightly amusing, but I'm getting scared because I have never talked like this. Ironically suicidal. Sometimes I feel very tired. Not the kind of tiredness that makes you want to sleep. Buzzing in my head. Need a restart. I just cry inside my head, but no tears ever come out. I don't sob and weep. It gets worse when I'm around unfamiliar people. Public transport. Cramped. I want to die. My friend explains: "People are nothing but stupid fucking monkeys."
I try to not look down upon them. But being around them makes me anxious.

It's hard to explain to the ones that are willing to listen. Comes out blurred, incoherent, confused. Nobody understands. They can't care to understand. I imagine there is a mechanism in our brain that prevents us from thinking about the pointlessness of life, but sometimes it gets broken, and with it, we get broken.

I wish I could go back to when I was little. Maybe. Thinking about it, who am I? The me that is suffering now - if that's the real me, when I get fixed, will it still be me? Because I imagine and look at the fixed me and that seems like somebody else.

Reminds me of Flowers for Algernon.

I feel alone.
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then who was phone?
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How I have yet to bore you all to death is absolutely beyond me.
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I tend to unconsciously find father-figures in writers/philosophers that I admire, because my own father was such a distant weirdo
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>>9757695

>my mind is
>what is can be written
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Well I've come to realize that nothing that we do in this life can be truly called free will there's always an external influence and there's always limitations to everything we do dream or hope, what makes this worse and utterly depressing is the fact that after living under the slavery of society our biology and our own personality traits we die, one can say death will set you free, but can death be called freedom if you are unaware to define it as freedom.
We have religions alcohol drugs we are told to enjoy life while it last and nature in an act of ruthless tyranny has designed us to feel happy when we mate and reproduce but all of it only numbs the pain that come when you realize that we don't matter as individuals that we need to mate so we can be replaced by our children and we truly feel happy and glad about it because we are designed by nature to feel that way, that's the tyranny of life , i know immortality alone would not fix the problem but it is the first step into solving it
>>
burnumun diregi sizliyor. nolur geri dön.
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>>9757695
The game is treacherous. Many who find themselves unwittingly playing it fall into its jowls, only to be chewed up, broken down, and spit out as the fat they are. Its bounds have been lay down multidimensionally, spanning height as much as time. If you find yourself playing it, remember: half measures will get you killed. You may live on after failure, but inside you will be as empty as the vacuum of space. The rules are simple, and inscribed therein. One only need be able to see to read them. Many players remain blind. Of those who play, many will fail. As I write this, I play with a meagre hand; but I play as if the deck has been machined to my benefit, for the others can only guess the stock I carry by the way myself is carried. Cliches dominate the game—those primordial originals shall win. To despise thyself unto the game is the greatest step you may take in your terse painful life: to deny yourself a shot is eternal death—you will be forgotten. The rabble keeps score in the shadows, the referee pounds his gavel intermittently, decreeing at any moment that you be ejected, for all and good. Prayers won't help you; others won't help you; God will forsake you; you will perish if you do not play, with all you have to offer, with all you have to lose. Decide now your path. Choose wisely your fate, for in the end, your destiny will be determined by whether or not you opt to play—and how you do so, if at all. Godspeed.
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This is my current position now.

Sitting down in the Plateau, hazed and out of my mind. Midterm studying is on hold. Work is on hold. Just relaxation.

A cloud just took the sun away from my eyes, how lovely.
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I am very tired, but I realize I do not work that hard. I do not have a physical job and only work 50-60 hour weeks as a developer for a tech company. I hate my work and the people there and I want to quit. I fear living the life of a creative though for I do not know if I have what it takes.
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To be honest, I'm happy. It's the first time I've seen so much snow in one place and my surgery test got moved from tuesday to thursday. Although I've been with no electricity since 3 am.
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south, down, east, left, out
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canterbury the hatchet before the full harvest moon lights the candle at both ends the life of the wife with the knife doublebladed like the vipers kiss kiss chiddy chiddy bang boom goes the dyna-might this be an overstatement but you're overweight the referee said to the chinese boxer rebel without a clause santa once knew a dr. who had two hearts each twice broken promises of a father gone out for cigarettes each with a story asking morning glory for mourning glorious sanctity in Titanic with sank tittles itty bitty committing to enmity between the battle of the sexless migrant workers working their reddened asses off the mule cart blanching out into the blue yonder overpass the baton to the buck and run with de niro comma robert johnson and johnson who sold their soles at the crossroads cross from arizonan heat waves splashing over ice cubes wish wash bisch bosch ginormous hieronymous trusting sasquatcheers to cheer and lead lead weights to the watchers clocking watchmen and women aboard the ships and fish fried with crawdad and mom and pop stop n shopaholics 12 steps on the stairway to heaven's gateway to hell bound with spurious spawn of salmom snaking up riverbend flying under the radar with brad apricot pits and despair-aging remarks by nonagenarians eating pescatarians during the top of the hour at the bottom of the ninth circle of dante's infernal grasp on the tight rope in gym class can't be bought but manors to be or not to bees pull the anaphylactic shockwaves circuitously citing serial murderers' numbers with kilroy and killjoyous and free from the chains of bondage and sin waves co-sign on suboptimus prime mortgages and 12-gauges in the ear of corn in the hidden valley of the shadowboxers and death adders scaling the whitewashed walls of the infirmary and joseph sacrificing their only sun to tzu for the art of wardogs don't die a solemn death to infidels because loyalty in marriage is paramount.
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>>9758600
Thanks for the words
>>9759130
Wtf
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I can't write and it bothers me. I have practiced a bit but I realized that I'm lazy, which I'm working to overcome. I joined a gym. I've lost weight. I am terrified of pursuing a romantic relationship because I'm a virgin at an embarrassing age and generally hopeless in social situations. I have an unhealthy fear of embarrassment which leads me to avoid most conflicts. I sometimes have dreams of committing violence against people who wronged me in the past, people I was too cowardly to fight or at least to stand up to, and that scares me. I want to go back to school. I want to not be an idiot and I want to learn. I was always happiest in school, awkward weirdo that I was. I felt like learning was something I was good at and that made me popular with kids that weren't so good at it. I felt special when kids came to me for help with a project or problem. That's ego talking, sure, but I feel like I have to hold on to something to avoid being completely residual.
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By allowing myself to tap into the more immoral aspects of my personality, I've become more successful. Nothing major has been grnted to me, but back when I would allow myself to be taken advantage of for others gain, I was stepped on and discarded. Now that I openly antagonise others confidently, people respectme. However, I am conflicted, as I feel that I am pursuing an ultimately immoral road through life. Is respect and power really worth the personal toll n my conscience?
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>>9762085
i feel you bro

nietzsche shall guide youhere
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>>9761835
did you write this to make fun of me? or is it just painfully similar to my life?
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>>9757695
I am good. I'm really good. Who's to stop my ego? Who's worth stopping my ego? Why would they be better? Even if they were, I wouldn't know. Fuck reading. Fuck writing. I should have been born a mathematician
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>>9761835
congratulations, you're a human being
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>>9758682
>>9757698

you two should kiss
>>
I feel like I've made great strides as a writer, and improved significantly. But I also worry that I'll never be the truly great, transcendent writer I dream of being. I worry I won't create art that will stand the test of time.
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>>9762252
no author is great
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Every single word that comes out of my mouth is cringe inducing and regretful, I'm the dumbest man on Earth.
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>>9759148
" >Going to College


In this day and age, literally, why. Why would you want to deal with all the braindead leftists who are all 'muh wagegap', 'muh oppression', 'muh patriarchy', 'muh white privilege', 'muh Communism', 'muh fake Nazis are bad and should be punched in the face', etc. People used to go to College to prepare themselves for a better future. You'll leave College even less prepared for life than when you went in."

Wtf do I do to make a good salary?
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>>9761835
iktf bro. (kill me pls)
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>>9762454
the jewish tactic of keeping whites out of college is working apparently, get a load of this kid, and if u think he's only an anecdote, see the recent poll that shows republicans are majority against education
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>>9757695
I want to both vomit and eat the blankness
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>>9762454
Catholic School
>>
fell off the wagon and shitposted another night away, well i can still get in three good hours of work if i start now, fuck
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Used a self control app and wasn't here for the entire day. Forgot about it and didn't have a single urge to visit. I'm pretty over this place now.
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>>9762880
I think I can go cold turkey. Especially since this place is pure trash, wastes valuable time, and I have everything and more that I could ever need. Happy about this. Here's to not coming tomorrow cause today was pretty awesome woot :)
>>
randomly ctrl c-ing my dpci,emnts

small fields within forests with buildings there, places to learn something
forest "entrances", artificially made, wood gates and wall
chinese ballustrades

games as landscape/place design (CTF, slingshot n arrows, etc)

small clearings in forest for talking, meeting, cafe-like, circular'd in with stone or wood

zen-like stone platform in small stream/river at the foot of a waterfall in a forest valley
where two people drinking tea on cushions

places good for certain activities, singing, thinking,..
places good for thinking of specific types of things, philosophy, art, moral issues, etc
like a church...heh

friendship
enemies
guilds
clubs
secret groups

hole in ground a
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I'm so scared of rejection and abandonment. I want to ask this girl out on a date but I'm afraid she'll say no and reject me. I know it sounds stupid to hold back like this but it'll break my heart if I can't feel the same warmth that she brings to my chest. Time, like always, will sort this out
>>
sleep is sweet
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>>9762919
How old are you? Make small talk and find out if she's seeing somebody first
>>
on my days off i do nothing but eat shit food and play video games

i hate my days off and always feel hollow when they end
>>
I've written a ton of stuff for my novel and yet none of it rings true enough to show it off to anyone beyond merely telling them of the ideas, characters, etc. A "friend" of mine was supposed to get back to me when I sent him some of it to read, but all he could do was bitch about getting cucked by Twitter skanks and findoms and shit.

Just made me even more unwilling to show off my work. Not even my own family cares - that'd take away time and energy from the high school dropout SJW bitch they favor over their more successful son...
>>
What is this Bullshit?!
I just picked up Turgenev's "Fathers and Sons", read his short biography and then started reading the introduction and the translator is spoiling parts of the plot.
He is describing how Turgenev saw his characters before the idea of the novel so he knew each character's specific behaviors, mannerisms, thoughts, etc. beforehand and especially since he based certain characters on real people which makes the kiss between X and Y so much more impactful and btw Z dies.
Why can't they put the translator's comments ( which they really just are) at the goddamn end of the book?
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I've such antipathy for my time. I consciously seek to squander it but there's always more. It grows ever difficult just to be. What I would not give for a worthy distraction...
>>
I'm 26 and can't decide what to do with my life. Can't go back to college because lol no money. Can't find a job because not even a warehouse will hire me. All I've been doing lately is learning shit and researching stuff that I'm interested in at the moment which constantly shifts. I'll be into climate change one day and back to philosophy the next. Getting nowhere. Doing nothing of worth to get me anywhere.

I hate it.
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>>9763372

Make shit up for your CV, say you had to do X and Y to support yourself through your gap year abroad so they can't check up on it, which they won't, get some free microsoft certifications, brush up on your Excel.
>>
>>9763384

I did make shit up. I think I'm blacklisted. I don't even get rejection emails anymore.
>>
>>9760440
stay strong senpai
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>>9763372
Prolly an hero right?
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>>9763045
I'm 20 about to go back for my junior year of university. I know she isn't seeing anyone at the moment but I don't know if she'll be willing to go on a date. I think she's been giving me hints like touching me and leaning on me. Maybe I'll just ask her.
>>
>>9758000
if capitalism is supreme then how it can possibly afford non-functional human species like niggers and shitskins?
>>
>>9763596
Ask her out. For future reference, flirt with and compliment the girl youre interested in.
>>
>>9763606
Go back to pol you sheltered faggot
>>
>>9763700
>compliment the girl youre interested in.
That's just being a orbiter.
>>
>>9761544
Santiago?
>>
Life is pretty cool, but my life is gay and dull
>>
I want to write more but I have nohting to say.
Should I write genre fiction to get better at how writing works until my mind is sophiscated enough to produce something beyond superficial content?
>>
>>9758117
The answer is the easiest thing in the world but the least likely thing to actually happen. Just tell her what you think, if she doesn't try and make an effort to change then you know its not love, just worship, which would make you a cuck. After this you should then leave her, but we know you won't do this.
>>
still waiting for my mother fucking amazon delivery to get here, they said it can be delivered anytime between 10AM and 8PM, but ten bucks says the fag will claim it's "undeliverable" and leave it for the competent weekday drivers tomorrow, thanks for wasting my sunday, ups assholes
>>
I tried reading Lovecraft.

Lovecraft < The Idea of Lovecraft
>>
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As much as I love LSD, I hate the comedown. My entire body hurts and it's just generally unpleasant. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. Yes, I've tried using magnesium, it helps a bit, but not much.
>>
>>9765031
love craft is cool when you're a teen or less, as an adult it's kinda pulpy pleb
>>
>>9765034
yeah coming down off lsd is the worst, especially because there's always a couple hours where u get worried you might get stuck like that forever and normal won't fully come back, i just recommend going to sleep as soon as you can, after an exceptionally strong trip one summer i stayed up all weekend, and it turned me from a druggie but normie to an autist, now i always had austismal tendencies but after that i was hyper conscious of everything and paranoid af, now when i smoke weed it just comes back
>>
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>open Liked videos on YT
>[Private video]
>[Deleted video]
WHY the FUCK can't it at least tell me what it was?
>>
>>9765034
>I hate the comedown
>>9765057
are you two still fucking high?
COming down is as relaxing as it possibly can be.
And once you have become 99% sober your mind is as free and clear as it ever has been.
Come down and day after is part of tripping on LSD and it is great.
>>
>>9765061
it was probably something redpilled that gentiles aren't allowed to watch
>>
>>9765065
>COming down is as relaxing as it possibly can be.

>self-loathing and extreme paranoia is relaxing

ok bro
>>
ive been smoking a pack a day ever since being prescribed for vyvanse, which interestingly enough takes up more of my time than reading (which I am now able to do extensively for the first time in years without wanting to kill myself). I dont find it ironic because cigarettes and sex and drugs are the only things of interest to me when I am unmedicated. Dark Side of the Moon is a masterpiece and i want another cigarette even though I just came inside from smoking one. I hate then when medicated it becomes normal for me to constantly think about drugs and mental illness, but the stimulant nature of my prescriptions makes it too obvious that I am on "something" to myself, so it always seems to be on my mind. Of course its only been 5 days, so whatever.
>>
I JUST WANT TO SLEEP

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS PAPER IS ACTUALLY HOLDING TOGETHER AT THE LAST MINUTE, I MIGHT ACTUALLY NOT BE FUCKED

NEVER, EVER, TRY TO READ 500 PAGES OF HEGEL AND WRITE A 20 PAGE PAPER ON HEGEL IN A SINGLE 30 HOUR SLEEPLESS STRETCH
>>
>>9765082
maybe you jsut have bad trips.

>t. never had a bad trip
>>
>>9765122
Haha RIP-dialectics.
>>
>>9765065
The reason is dislike the comedown is because I get serious pain in my face and head, and it feels like my eyes are being pushed out of their sockets. I also get muscle tremors and cramps.
>>
>>9765124
maybe u just need to do more acid, you aren't one of those fags who takes like one or two hits are you? five strip minimum or u just wasting time
>>
>>9765131
oh ya the permasmile always fucks me up especially because i'll feel happy and shit with this big smile and then i become mindful of it and start to imagine it is a horrible existential grimace and everything goes bad for a while
>>
>>9765122
my best papers have been written in this state
>>
>>9757695
I feel like a can write decent pulp fiction but I don't know where to publish it. I wrote a capepunk short story that I think was pretty fun that combines superheroes and bureaucracy, but I don't where to send it. I sent it to a e-zine that had a 2 day waiting period and they rejected it so i sent it to a young adult zine that has a 6 month waiting period. Now I'm working on a sort of animal fable novella but I don't really feel like finishing it, since it might be a bit too esoteric. I gave it a thought to send it to a furry publishers since it fits the theme of an anthology they are making, but they only pay 1/2 cent per word.
>>
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whats the difference between mania and hypomania if im too disconnected from reality and simultaneously too unfocused to even realize that im "manic" in the first place until its too late, until i suppose im less manic than I was at the peak but who remembers that kind of shit? I dont remember what I ate for breakfast, much less the minute details of how my brain was functioning days ago. I have no money to impulsively spend, i have constant access to sex and masturbation, i suppose the only thing that can be considered characteristic of mania is my petty kleptomania, but im just supporting my caffeine addiction at that point (even though I do have coffee at home. But who likes coffee in the summer?)
>>
Not a bad day for a guy on the verge of total hopelessness.
>>
>>9763446

Soon. Maybe.
>>
My internet is dogshit slow and it's driving me crazy.
>>
>>9765131
you drink enough water? eat enough food?
>>
>>9765327
>eating food on acid

come on now
>>
>>9765330
before, or after (was speaking about comedown), some sort of nutrients, some fruit, trail mix, something
>>
>>9765330
You can manage a light salad and some water on the comedown.
>>
I'm going to be the Prime Minister in about 20-22 years.
>>
>>9765335
you don't eat before taking acid kid.
More effect and quicker drop.
>>
>>9765344
Given that you absorb it dermally through the mucousal membrane on your mouth and that stomach contents and bodyweight have little to no effect on the come-up and strength, shut up you're an idiot.
>>
>>9765344
>The reason is dislike the comedown is because I get serious pain in my face and head, and it feels like my eyes are being pushed out of their sockets. I also get muscle tremors and cramps.

Ok, how about water, I asked if they were drinking enough water first. And he was speaking about comedown, so a piece of fruit? At that point the body and brain are deprived, and have just experienced a gnarly amount of rare activity, it likely could use enough water, and some nutrients, which is why I asked, boy.
>>
>>9765351
There is really no reason he couldn't eat or drink while tripping on LSD, unless you're worried about feeling bloated (which would suck) or that you might start to empathise with your food and that would be confusing. Or you might be completely incapacitated (not likely to last longer than an hour at most, on a ridiculous dose) or simply distracted and forget to (again, not likely to last long as you still feel hunger and thirst).
Maybe he's confused by what applies to other drugs, mainly stimulants.
>>
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>>9765348
that is not true.
Only reason you leave it in your mouth is because it kicks in quicker.
You can just as easily swallow it but it takes a long while fo rit to settle in then, FAGGOT!
>>
>>9765343
I'm going to fuck your wife while you're on the campaign trail.

You're going to be raising my bastard children.
>>
It is the feeling of weakness in the face of her, of them, and the anticipation of pain and humiliation that makes manipulation and contempt appear sound. It is fear, pathetic and well hidden.
>>
>>9765351
eating a piece of fruit on acid seems a bit dodgy, taking this weird fleshy bulb of sugar that grew on a tree and putting it inside your body by tearing it into little pieces with your teeth? you're either going to get in touch with your prehistoric ancestors or you might start to realize how this fruit was picked by slave labor and shipped half way across the planet on a fossil fuel burning machine owned by a capitalist, or who knows what...just fast for the trip dude, it won't kill u
>>
>>9765367
>>The reason is dislike the comedown is because I get serious pain in my face and head, and it feels like my eyes are being pushed out of their sockets. I also get muscle tremors and cramps.

any advice? water and food was all I could think of
>>
>>9765367
not sure about that, wouldn't be surprised if stomach acid neutralizes lsd like it does hiv virus and many other things, when people say they "eat acid" they don't mean literally eat it dude get some drug experience
>>
>>9765367
That ... doesn't contradict what I said. At all.
I'm also curious why you're in such a hurry to get high. Why not eat, take the drug earlier than you would otherwise, then not suffer from being hungry and thirsty? Stupid behaviour.
>>
>>9765369

> wife

You're looking at a historic first gay PM.
>>
>>9765385
how much food you have in your stomach might affect how long shrooms take to kick in but it's not going to make any difference with lsd
>>
the first time the dude who discovered lsd tripped out didn't he spill it on his hand? it has nothing to do with your digestive system
>>
>>9765377
Obviously if the trip is too hard, Vitamin C is the answer, but once you are tripping you Need to remember to drink because you usually don't feel the thirst.

But really, I am no expert when it comes to LSD. Sorry, I just know personal expreience and friends talking.

>>9765382
i dew druuhgs duuuude.
chill mah-an.
Fuck off with your HIV comparison.
Spend 2 mins googling it like I did faggot.
>>9765385
Why waste waiting for an hour + if you know you can get there in 30 mins.
> Why not eat, take the drug earlier than you would otherwise
taking acid on an empty stomach is the one thing next to assuring a good trip that I always learned and, have been told and always hear from others.

Just is.
>>
>>9765375
You might also go off on a trip about how mother earth provides beautifully tasty foods for us. The same sort of logic applies to literally everything you do when tripping. You walk on grass, you wear clothes. I wouldn't worry about eating fruit and vegetables.

>>9765404
Yes, you're correct.

>>9765410
You can get there in 30 minutes if you just keep the tabs in your mouth, or letting the sugar cubes dissolve in it, or keeping the drops in there. Instead of swallowing them. Who swallows tabs? Why waste your trip being hungry and dehydrated when you could just ... not be?
One, vitamin C does fuck all, two, eating a light meal is better for obvious reasons relating to not being starving, dehydrated and suffering from low blood sugar while you're tripping. Maybe spend more than 2 minutes googling it or listening to random myths.
>>
I'm starting to be really triggered by /lit/. Too many dumb threads.
>>
>>9757695
I would prefer not to.
>>
>>9765428
>myths

so many lsd myths, i think lsd is when i started to listen to my intuition more than mythological knowledge passed between plens
>>
>>9765428
>Maybe spend more than 2 minutes googling it or listening to random myths.
Yeah and you wrote your phd on LSD or what faggot?
>>
>>9765433
this is like the only good thread rn except maybe that one about teaching black kids in the hood how to read a book
>>
>>9758111
Watch out boy, she'll chew you up.
>>
>>9765442
I certainly spent more than two minutes googling it.
>>
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Every time I see this video posted I instantly get a rock hard erection, like instant diamonds. Then of course I get the urge to fap which I do and then immediately feel guilty and dirty inside.
Kinda like the first time I fapped to BDSM of girls in chains just getting fucking destroyed. It felt so good but felt so wrong at the same time. Now I fap to literally anything, I've fapped to girl's toes before, I don't give a fuck.
>>
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Is it so wrong not to care for others? I'm young so must I really stop and help the people around me who have stopped in life? Should I just press on down my own path towards my own dreams and leave the old and lazy in the dust?
>>
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>>9765459
I'm done talking
>>
I can't pay my rent.
>>
It's 2AM, I'm watching Dinner For Five and it's pretty comfy.
On this episode right now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyQxOO1fmw8
>>
Bad people don't scare me. I've met many bad people in my life. Some of my friends, some family; in my eyes they're just thoroughly bad people. There's nothing I can really do to reconcile it, more so if they themselves haven't been and never really will be repentant. I mean, sure, there are episodes: like where my aunt finally took years of malaise and pointed abuse and turned it in on her self in an intense, short term of therapy and numerous feigned apologies to everyone she's ever wronged, with a decidedly antecedent yet 'newfound' wisdom in the embrace of Christ (she's utterly repugnant: her son has autism and I know it's because she drank constantly while pregnant). Once a certain designation has been hooked to you: you're tainted. Like how a hooker could never scrub away countless bodies piled on top of her, over the years. At some point she has to realize the tragedy...that it's already been far too late, that the only realistic course left is to see it through and climb over every local weiner to the height of her horrid ability before her very appeal is opaque and fading to even the most reprehensible fuckwit - she'll fuck every which way rendering her maw is in-satiate, unfeeling and without pleasure, and then be forever known and gone as the local call girl. I don't scorn the happening or the hooker itself. Both are just missteps taken to grandeur, and the all-mightly lord knows that people are inclined to such and such -- that's not what scares me.

What scares me is the thought that one day I might meet someone who is clean, well-read, verbose, self confident, actualized and very real. It scares me that this person might be doing all along what I keep finding missteps to - that where I currently stumble and fail he will press on and prevail. It scares me because, as I can only envision: I would look at him and see everything I missed out on, and that I'd inevitably have to chalk it up to what it is that I've seen and been around - so much like every other failure and burnout that I know...and I too would just be, another bad person.
>>
Why is /pol/, /pol/? Aren't we the site of the underdog?

Where on earth did anons get the idea that they were part of something bigger despite being the runts of society? When nerds start worshipping at the altar of Chad?
>>
>>9757833
Gundam
>>
I carry a heavy stone in my chest. I feel it when I go to bed, I feel it when I wake up, I feel it when I idle in front of the coffee machine. I feel it when I write and when I think. I feel it when I drive.

The stone has changed the shape of my face and the posture of my spine. It saps my energy at the gym. It steals the taste of my food. I wish to cut it out and throw it into the sea.
>>
>>9765868
Anon I think you need to go to Confession. I have experienced a similar feeling in the past, and it goes away when I confess my sins to a priest.
>>
>>9762454
>go to college
>make good salary

choose one faggot
>>
>>9757695

fuck i hope I pass this quiz
>>
>>9765877
Maybe I will. I didn't go to Communion for years although going to church a few times. My faith is mostly weakened habit now, not real. However I doubt my sins make up the entire weight.
>>
>>9763719
Not at all, dont be a cuck bout it
>>
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>>9765504
Good, because you could hardly make yourself sound more obviously wrong.
>>
>>9765881
Makes no sense
>>
I have come to set a fire on this Earth, and how I wish it were already burning!
>>
I'm doing quite good on my novel so far, but I feel I could be better. I keep editing the same parts over and over, trying to find the fine line. I don't want the prose to be too purple or to look like I'm trying too hard.
>>
Singing along to some anglicized hum-drum of gratuitous lament following the self-imposed exile of whatever daemon used to reside in my mind: I now speak to myself in alien tongues. What's on my mind is an image of images which I can't help but inwardly force-feed myself with so as not to remain barren, me being the only substantial fact of my own existence. Existence is contrived as of now. I'm purposeless and will no doubt remain so forever, whatever anxiety is at its root being nowhere to point and so to erradicate in that same pointing glance, the whole damn thing is that, the damn tree is nothing but root. I won't die, I won't kill myself any time soon and whatever youthful blood I still have in me is sure to end, if not soon, then at some later time. It is then of no question whether or not I will kill myself. I'm not innocent enough to do it now and not lively enough to do it in sight of later. I will drag my corpse around until it gives out its last sigh. I'll live on, confounded as always, aimless, pointless. Yet in some sick twisted article of faith, I am naive. I love my fellow men, women and child, and all the godless things of this Earth. The fault is precisely that I wouldn't die for any of it, that I wouldn't let go of the same stubbornness for love of myself, as I myself who loves all, for the very thing which assails my stubbornness to naively love all. I refuse to accept it as it is, as all is without me looking back at it, staring at it. Perhaps then my lack of vitality stems from the same source as my inability to kill myself. I may simply be too atomized to care about anything other than whatever constant soliloquy I've chosen to play for myself, the monotonal babble I have on repeat somewhere in my brain, which I've daemonized for lack of a proper guide, which I've elevated above all that surrounds me as to make it all that truly exists, whilst still recognizing through it that what does indeed surround me is infinitely more meaningful than whatever I could ever blurb out for myself about it. What I mean to say is that I've made a thing of me. I lacked a thing because I lost the thing which I had, which I no doubt must've had (all are born untainted), and so went and made a thing worth pursuing of myself. Myself worth pursuing, like a dog after its tail or a tooth biting at itself. Even my love for this world invariably passes through me first, so as to come to me, then, as a perversed reflection, uncouth through its self-recognition, made crookedly stern through an act of self-awareness. I've rendered myself an objectivized draft animal for something which I've castrated too soon. Control is there, but nothing at its head.
>>
>>9762454
Ignore this jackass, you literally cannot even apply for most good jobs without a bachelors degree.

I'm a 23 year old poli sci graduate who has been working project management for a year. I'm making 85K a year now and will be debt free in less than 6 months, although this isn't the norm obviously.

The corp. I work for reached out to me a week after I graduated, college practically got me the job I have today.
>>
>>9765327
I usually have a large meal a couple hours before I trip and some snacks (nuts, etc) during. I have a 1L canteen that I drink from as well. I try not to fill it more than thrice because otherwise I have to piss too much.
>>
>>9765868
can you describe this more... what are you talking about...
>>
I masturbate to fend off the loneliness but the more I fap the lonelier I get.
>>
>>9766122
what kind of project management? Is it related to political science?
>>
>>9765943
that's because you didn't go to college
>>
>>9766161
Hey look, it's me.
>>
I was just thinking about how the massive demographic changes caused by immigration from the third world to Western countries is exactly like that episode of Rick and Morty where Mr. Poopy Butthole keeps adding casts of characters to the family. The original members of the family are brainwashed into believing things have always been like this and nothing is wrong meanwhile, the richness of the original cast is being drowned out by the saturation of too many new characters.
>>
Restless nights consume me. I lie awake, in finery, the softest Egyptian cottons adorned my King sized bed, but I could not sleep. No, it was not for lack of comfort of the body, yes, I have that. I was ailed by a frantic mind.

'This is taking too long'

...

'He's going to ruin you'

...

'He doesn't even have to do anything but stay put, the rest does itself'

...

I couldn't put my mind at rest. I was running a campaign for Mayor of my town and the benefits were worth the long hours... but I'm not so sure the weight on my mind.
>>
is there any hope for someone who graduated two years ago but hasn't done shit since to get a decent job?
>>
>>9757695

Is life so dear or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery?
>>
I feel as though my entire life is heading toward some singular event that will change myself and everyone around me forever, and I'm the only one who can choose whether this change will be positive or negative. /lit/, is there something wrong with me?
>>
>>9766348
No, there's still plenty of time. You just have to make the choice to start doing something. You are the one choosing to stay the way you are.
>>9766398
You've been duped by corporate american and modernist retelling of the hero's journey. Life is an incremental game. You don't just wake up one day with a fully written novel in your hand, a 600lb deadlift, or a beautiful woman in your arms. There isn't a magical manic pixie dream girl just out there waiting to change your life for you.
>>
>>9766398
You've watched too much television.
>>
It's better to have never lived than to live at all. I think Schopenhauer said that.
>>
>>9757695
I am frustrated by a world that operates in black and white. I am tired of expectations not of my own creation. I am saddened by the extent to which people are packaged into neat little picket fence lives dreamed up by everyone except themselves. And I am lonely, for if I knew the right words to say, I need not write them.

I am grateful, for although my own selfishness sometimes tells me life is unbearable, I have two eyes, two ears, two legs, and two arms. Eyes that I may use to see my friends and loved ones. Ears that may recognize a kind word or compliment, and the sound of my nephew's laughter as I slowly peek around the corner, planning my chase of him through the house. Legs that permit me to leave my bed and visit my grandfather who may no longer freely use his. Arms that I may play music, feed myself with, and use to give hugs to family and friends, after visits that will forever end to soon.
>>
FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel FUCK hegel
>>
Should I call my ex, /lit/?
>>
>>9766574
that's never a good idea, she's an ex for a reason
>>
>>9757695
I had some fucking psycho slunt from my past messaging me on social media so i responded without really giving a shit and then her cuck manlet bf tracked me down on fb and said they were going to report me for harassment if I didn't leave her alone... when i was just responding to her messages.
>>
>>9766493
>It's better to have never lived than to live at all.
for some, possibly, for you, possibly not.

If you have never experienced anything about life, history, and this world (all the things, all the seconds, of possibly intrigue and positive experience value, from food, to mediums of media, to interesting and impressive people, places and things), that would be for you = 0

But since you, we all were given life, it was the possibility of 0.

You are saying it is less than 0, or can be.

For some, perhaps, and certainly at times it may feel that way. The pain, despair, too great, unimaginable, but even with the option of to ever taste a fruit, or hear a piece of music, or lay for some time in the rain or sun, or to be fine with never knowing such wonderous majesties at all, would be a difficult claim
>>
>>9766574
Do it faggot
>>
>>9766574
No. Women get tremendous satisfaction knowing you still "need" them in your life.

t. Woman
>>
>>9766574
call her a slunt
>>
>>9766605
Men too yo
>>
>>9757695
I am scared for the future of my race. If I gave 6 kids that'll be fine, but we need 100000 families to be doing it with the same mindset : to endure the existence of it species and greatness of our nation's.

If I just focus on my family I fear it's not enough and see some stage the mind virus will infect my children and go down the race miss rabbit hole.

I want to go burn down a mosque with all the people locked inside but that's just going to make it harder for us as the apologists will come out on force.
>>
>>9766616
you are literally a stupid faggot
>>
>>9766605
but that's why we call somebody, right? Is because you are in need of knowing how they are, in need that they know that we miss them, etc... Not doing it will be just based in regrets, so why don't just try it? I said call him/her, there's just one moment.
>>
>>9766610
That's the ultimate offense. A slunt. I like it
>>
The reason I write of love as finally being at home
is because I always feel empty, and the only word to describe it is being homesick.
I feel like I haven’t been home in a really long time,
like everything is really far away,
and my whole world is falling apart, yet everything I love is all still there.

The reason I write of love as a gentle heat warm enough to crack ice and melt snow
Is because I always feel cold.
I can’t be who I am, I’m too scared to be, and it leaves me frozen in place,
like I’ve lost all ability to show any similar compassion
when the only thing I want more in this world than to find someone else’s compassion is to love somebody too.

I've never been this alone in my entire life /lit/
>>
>>9766605
Uh what lol maybe they are happy to hear from you and welcome you with open arms?
>>
>>9766654
That's because you talk to an imageboard and not real people. Your social connections need to come from a visible, tactile human source to end this feeling you have, not some guy with no pants on behind a screen.

t. me
>>
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>>9766666
stan approves
>>
>>9766692
>not some guy with no pants on screen?

What?
>>
>>9766666
Checked. You lovely man
>>
>>9766703
"not some guy with no pants on behind a screen."

I'm sitting behind a screen replying to anon.
With no pants on.
>>
>>9766706
Ew
>>
>>9766692
for some context, I'm gay, live in the middle of nowhere, and have never met another gay person in my life. I'm moving out of state when I can afford it, but for now it's not as easy as you think
>>
>>9766709
When did you realize you were gay
>>
>>9766696
>>9766705
thanks. also from another woman (biological)

so fuck off erping trannyposter aka>>9766605
the numbers have spoken truth
>>
>>9766730
nvm i thought this was about ex friends not ex lovers.

i dont know if you should call your ex cause idk how you guys broke up. stop asking for advice on the internet. everything is so one sided.
>>
>>9766734
Just shhh
>>
>>9766630
are they single? when last time you spoke?
>>
>>9766717
It was around the time I hit puberty and realized I only felt attracted to guys, basically no different than any straight guy would for girls when they reach that age. The moment I learned what the word gay meant and could tell that I wasn't normal in the sense that I had very differing attractions from all my friends at the time was the day I realized I was gay (prob like 12 most likely). A revelation like that was sort of an "oh fuck" moment since it's kind of a moment where your whole life and everything everyone taught you to expect changes, despite nothing changing about yourself. Even though that was the time I realized it, I only felt drawn to guys and nothing towards girls since as far back as i can remember, but being a little kid I just assumed I was normal and never questioned anything. It's something my dumb ass just couldn't put together till I hit puberty since that's the time you start thinking about girls, or in my case guys. Since then I spent a lot of time answering questions about myself and anything else I couldn't expect to get an answer for from anyone but myself. Anything from, "why am I this way", "is there something wrong with me", and "can I change this" to more basic questions like "what does it mean to love someone" and "how do I know if I love someone", all because I had no real role models living somewhere I can only describe as desolate and homophobic. I ended up making a journal to help me put together answers and advice for myself, and eventually became the guiding force behind me discovering a passion for writing. Now I write romance novels, and mostly porn for money, and hope to go back to college and finish studying to be a therapist so I can be a role model and answer people's questions with them.
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>>9766901
there are many different looking women, size and shape, body and face.

Do you ever seen women that you think are attractive, or beautiful?

If a woman was bent down in front of you next to a bent over guy (and they looked relatively similar from that angle), you would be grossed out by sticking your dick in her ass, why?
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>>9766968

Q2: I wouldn't be grossed out, but I definitely would be against the idea of having sex with her because even if she looked androgynous from that angle, I know she's not a guy. The thing is that no matter the size, shape, body, or face, I'm just simply not sexually, romantically, or sensually attracted to women, and in turn, any part of one in that way. If I asked you the same question though it would come back most likely the same except but from the the perspective of somebody who is only sexually, romantically, and sensually attracted to women.

Q1: I can obviously tell the difference between beautiful women and less beautiful women, but it's nothing that I find personally attractive or arousing. Just cause I'm gay doesn't mean I'm blind, I can tell you which pair of tits look better, but no matter what its not gonna get me hard or something.

I think it's better to just remember that being gay isn't just a sexual attraction, it's a romantic, intimate, and sensual attraction as well, meaning that the only difference between being gay and being straight is just the what your brain decides is a possible mate. I like guys the same way you like girls in every way imaginable, and I don't like girls the same way you don't like guys in every way imaginable. If you cant fuck a dude in the ass and get off to it, or fall in love with a guy, or just find "the right type" of guy for you, then imagine me in that situation only with women instead because there really is no difference in how we function other than you were born with an attraction to women built into you and I was born with a built in attraction to men, and nothing else but that.
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>>9765803
You have to admit, /pol/ is a very funny form of revenge. What could be worse for the normals than anonymous Nazi weebs hijacking the political culture.
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>>9766574
No.
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>>9766616
Iktf. It's absolutely hopeless. But burning down a mosque will not be enough. I think it would make more sense targetting politicians. Politicians are cowards and act in ways to maximize their personal gain (this is why they are traitors in the forst place). Even better would be to convert one guy per week. It's doable and will carry the cause further than any lone wolf violence could. One could also create an NGO around it. Early feminists established fake NGOs, we can do this, too. What you need is steady funding through donations and a few members to work with. THis can make a difference. Even if we are too late and it's teh end of our race, at least we can do a small part to not give up with a whisper.
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>>9766588
well just respond to him, tell him that and call him a retard
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>>9757695
I hate people who euphemistically call hardcore pornography "a form of art" or "modelling".
>>
Fuck being awake and life and everything else for that matter. Give me something to care about lit?
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