Into the trash

THE END

>>9728947
>a direct reference to the title
>written by a woman
>written by a negro

>The dolphin screamed: EEEEE EEE EEEE

"Wingardium leviosa!"

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>>9728947
>did you know that scientists are looking for intelligent life on other planets?
>I guess they gave up on finding any on earth!

or any similar blatant "we are so dumb" style jokes that are actually read by most people as "the author and me, we are so smart because we get it, not like those retards out there"

do not try to make me complicit with your bullshit, stand by it on your own and i'll decide if it's worth it or not

>>9728947
>"fat pink mast"

>>9729617
>a direct reference to the title

Memes aside, titles are usually taken from the text, not the other way around. Why does that trigger you? Probaboy because of too much exposure to 4chan memes.

>>9729715
The title should reflect the theme or the work or some singular core idea or perhaps even a character.

>>9728947

Interracial (white female) relationships.

>>9729750
Yes, and? What does it matter if the title appears as a line in the book? Authors usually take a line from the book that reflects what you just said. It's not like they first come up with the title and then go "Haha! I will just randomly insert it in the text for memes! How very dastardly of me!".

>>9728947

>When a character has a dream that is extremely coherent, and very relevant to what is going on in their lives. This annoys the shit out of me. While yes, dreams often do contain things in our lives, they are virtually never that coherent and often just totally weird and random
>when a character pukes or passes out when witnessing something shocking. While I understand this can happen, authors tend to drastically overstate this.
>when a character only has a few drinks and gets completely fucking wasted and blacks out

>>9729715
i think he means something like "I guess we were the last true detectives™"

>>9729750
The best title for a book (in my opinion) that reflects the theme of the book is The Fountainhead. Not a huge Ayn Rand fan but she knew how to title a book.

>>9728947
>anyways
When I was in 7th grade, our english teacher asked us (the class) how you even spell anyways- at the time, we thought it was funny "old ppl, amirite?" but now I know what he meant- I always think about it, everytime I read it. I cannot deal with anyways, and I don't respect you as a writer if you use it- exceptions can be made for the dialog of little kids, but other than that? No. I can't anymore.

>>9728947
I really find it difficult to read through parts of books that have sexual violence, but there's nothing that has, all at once, made me put down a book and not return to it. I usually decide over the course of a hundred pages whether or not I will return to a book.

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>Statements that are clearly false.
I hate it. It doesn't matter if it's fanfiction, movies, or literature. If someone says something stupid- especially in regards to something scientific, I get deep inside me disgusted.

>pretentious pseudo psychology
I don't care how much Nietzsche you've read as the author, if I read some fucking bullshit about human abysses and looking into the void and destroying what you love and that love is biochemistry just tricking us and nothing really matters in that simpering tone, I'll toss the book across the room faster than I'll drop a hot spoon.

>Obnoxious opinions about any artistic medium, especially fashion
I used to think fashion was dumb, just like every other dipshit. Then I actually ended up studying fashion and now I'm strangely protective of it as a whole. You usually end up reading shit like "Fashion, right? Ugh! Those models should eat a burger, amirite? Hahaha! Look at this WEIRD JACKET! Do they think people actually wear stuff like this? HAHAHA!" Fuck you.

On top of that, art in general is a notoriously hard to actually pin down. Usually, you have two types of authors. The "Modern Art is Bullshit" authors, who get snarky and smug about liking Rembrandt and isn't Damien Hirst so dumb?" I'll cut a bitch in real life. I thought the same thing when I was 16, but that's the shit you grow out of. Ragging on modern art is being smug about learning nothing outside of your narrow comfort zone which is the antithesis of an artist, author or other wise.

OR! You get the kind of author who "likes art, but doesn't know anything about it" so you get bullshit platitudes and "artist" characters which are either Pollock knockoffs or "modern artists" who make art using whatever the author had next to their laptop while writing. Then comes 2. but about art. "It's about SOUL! This piece is about the ugliness of humanity". Fucking kill me.

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>broody character explains his taste for jazz music

>>9729660
>>9729949
these

>when the autor basically dint give a shit about proving his point in any esnay
>when you know ''good guys'' are gonna win in any fiction

>>9729949
Yeah I don't like it at all when people who don't understand even a basic level of fashion talk down on it. Not even talking down about the right things in the right way.
Also those memes

"And truly, it was a situation of infinite jest"

>>9729660
This. I fucking hate British humor, witty reddit humor, and any other sort of self-congratulatory smug arrogance that feigns intellectual camaraderie between the author and the readership. It's the equivalent of girls going "men...am I right ladiiiees?" If you were right, you would be right. Stop trying to involve me in your superiority complex.

Also when Dostoyevsky mentions spans of time because it's always way too long. People staring into each other's eyes for like two solid minutes, or a guy weeping for ten minutes, or being speechless mid conversation for a full minute. That's a long time. Like autistically long.
Poorly written females turn me off because most of my friends are female and it makes me feel like I'm reading an autistic shut in.
95% of Murakami's metaphors and similes make me close the book for a second.
When a translator uses an archaic English idiom instead of just saying the thing.

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>had had

>>9729715
>He thinks "This truly was an Infinite Jest" was an okay thing to do
Kill yourself

>historical fiction
>Confuse Numidians for Nubians

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>9729949
>I used to think fashion was dumb, just like every other dipshit. Then I actually ended up studying fashion and now I'm strangely protective of it as a whole. You usually end up reading shit like "Fashion, right? Ugh! Those models should eat a burger, amirite? Hahaha! Look at this WEIRD JACKET! Do they think people actually wear stuff like this? HAHAHA!" Fuck you.
Lol, you're a faggot.

>immortal character in "historical fiction"
>"back then I did not have much education so you will excuse me if I get some of the dates wrong"
preemptive from the author who did not do research

>authors that used to be engineers,physicists,etc
They usually put too much technical talk or speculation about nature of magic/technology
>authors who write as a hobby
I once read an urban fantasy that was basically the authors memoir about her trip to japan.
>authors who are too into pop culture
every line is a reference and the whole story is an amalgamation of more popular works
>character is show to be nerdy by having a doctor who pencil holder or some other casual crap
>>9729949
>I hate it. It doesn't matter if it's fanfiction, movies, or literature. If someone says something stupid- especially in regards to something scientific, I get deep inside me disgusted.
me too. even if its "just their character" I get frustrated if no one calls them out on it or it does not bit them in the ass.
>I used to think fashion was dumb, just like every other dipshit.
I still feel that way about some forms of art but once I actually started study for a job it became clear that every job has its nuances

>books in a series where the majority of the book is spend recapping other books.
I try to avoid dumping books because of the main character but
>If the character only thinks of the world and their friends as far as it effects them
>If character is judgmental about life choices of other people, especially if they are of the same gender. the "look at that dumb ho, working at the club instead of being a proper sensible pantsuit wearing woman like me" types
>The character can never be honest with themselves and need an outside catalyst to finally do something/realize something
>The character that never listens, often in a combo with asking tons of self evident questions like "What does that mean" "why do you mean, x" it means fing X as was stated before.

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Whenever the character is decried as "backing away with both of his palms up". especially in a very mundane situation that clearly does not call for such gesticulation. + I don't think real people do this

>>9731533
sarcastic cunts do it

>>9731533
People don't. If you're intimidated you back away, usually with arms at your sides, or protecting your stomach.

Hands out is for going towards people, slowly. Calm them down, y'know. Same as when you're trying to pet a skittish animal.

But that's just been my experience. I didn't study this stuff.

Good show, tho.

when love is written like this:

>she loved everything about him; the way he cut his tomatoes into imperfect ovals, the way he fidgted with his keys in the morning, the way he used fresh shampoo..

Basically when describing love as just describing someone's very small quirks or traits

>characters is in a
>1) dark room
>2) house without electricity
>3) having problems hot wiring
>4) is about to blow himself up
>They turn on a flashlight, generator,etc and they or someone else says "let there be light"
I did not word it well but I think the meaning comes across

>>9731558
>>9731588
its even more "funny" in a medieval setting. I really should stop reading shit books but they are usually the ones available for free

>"he ran his fingers through his hair"
be it frustration, embarrassment, nervousness, etc. book boys and men can't stay away from their hair

>>9731630
Really, you can't find any good books on libgen? Really, your local library doesn't have any good books? Really, you can't find any good books to shoplift? Stop making excuses.

>>9730893
only appropriate response to this >>9729949

>>9729770
>when a character only has a few drinks and gets completely fucking wasted and blacks out
It too, happens. Lightweight drinkers exist.

>>9729949
Those things annoy me too but you getting that angry about it seems dumb.

>>9729949
Sounds like you have a lot of trouble coming out to your dad.

>>9729660

Whenever a sci-fi book spends a lengthy passage describing some human technology in a deliberately stupid way, before the "big reveal" that they're actually talking about something the reader finds commonplace. So unexpected omg!

The author is talking about giant metal killing machines propelled by explosions, and they drive these to work everyday!!! Woah man I just realised he was talking about cars all along, something I find mundane and commonplace!

It's such a boring trope.

Infact I avoid all sci-fi now because its almost all trash. I read War of the Worlds when I was a teenager and loved Star Trek, so I thought maybe sci-fi was a genre worth reading. But it's almost all shit. Half reads like bad fan fiction, and the other half is the author trying to make a political point in a really clumsy way.

>>9729949
>Statements that are clearly false.
>If someone says something stupid- especially in regards to something scientific

Did you ever consider that characters in a book are fictional human beings, and that just like real humans they can be wrong?

You speak to condescending smartasses everyday on 4chan, why can't characters be like that too.

It only really annoys me when the character is clearly the standin for the author, and bestows some great (often wrong or nonsensical) knowledge with some wildly unrealistic dialogue and everyone reacts like they're Albert Einstein.

>>9733468
Try some PKD. Ubik, Three Stigmata, then VALIS.
Not High Castle.

I only read classics, so I don't drop books. Maybe if it has something like "they loved each other so much", or "you can find true love only if you try enough/true love is easy to find", but I haven't found something like that yet in classics. Also, if there some unironically sexual scene whose main object is the sex. For example, when I was still reading trashy books, I read in Norwegian wood "your dick is hot" and I dropped it.

>>9731620
That can't actually happen if you read any pre 20 century book. Are you reading trashy YA and genre fiction intentionally?

>>9730853
>British humor

Don't conflate Douglas Adams with the entirety of British humour. That's one strain of British humour that I hate myself, along with people who think insults like "cock-womble" are hilarious.

Dickens, Wodehouse and Jerome are proper British humour

>>9733506
>Also, if there some unironically sexual scene whose main object is the sex. For example, when I was still reading trashy books, I read in Norwegian wood "your dick is hot" and I dropped it.
Why? It's much more fascinating to me how often sex is left out of books. Also, writing a good sex scene is so incredibly hard that I feel a writer taking the risk should be rewarded. Nothing wrong with "your dick is hot" either, people actually say stuff like that when they fuck.

>>9733547
It's fascinating to me how there's an entire personality strain for people who love words like fuck-nugget etc
What a completely unlikely and pathetic way to be able to be categorized by.

>>9733547
>"cock-womble"
that IS hilarious

>>9733557
I hate you and I hate all people of your ilk

>>9733560
which will make it all the more ironic when our children inevitably fall in love.

>>9733578
Usually the people who hate your kind don't have children while you will either spawn some shitty reddit offspring or, more likely, will turn to the LGBT community for good, take hormones, and never father any any children yourself.

>>9733607
rude

>>9733506
>I only read classics
implying "classics" don't have shitty books among them and did not get to the status of "classics" only thanks to their age or people they were written by.
>I don't drop books
Then you don't read enough.
>if there some unironically sexual scene whose main object is the sex.
nothing wrong with that, as long as it's in its genre

>>9733518
so your solution is not to reread anything from 21st century?
>>9733547
I watched various Brit comedy shows and most of them are a miss, including Monty Python

>character has a unique accent
>it's written into their dialogue phonetically
Fuck

>>9733858
>implying "classics" don't have shitty books among them and did not get to the status of "classics" only thanks to their age or people they were written by.
name 1 book each from the 18th 19th and 20th century.

>>9734698
The classics are only those eras to you?
wtf

>>9734038

I hate that shit too. All a writer has to do is say something like "they talk with a french accent" and then just give normal dialogue; allow the reader to imagine it themselves. instead they have to write out stupid shit like "oi yes, ze theeve haz taken ze money from da bank!"

>>9734741
So you cant name one shitty classics from each. Ok, I'll make it easier, name three shitty classics from three different centuries.

>>9733547
>>9733555
>>9733865

Yes. Douglas Adams Hitchhikers Guide is reddit tier humour.

Lol a whale fell from the sky, lol so randumb XD.

What Americans don't realise is that Monty Python is like our version of Adam Sandler movies. The fanbase is basically the same.

Except Monty Python is absurdist surrealist exaggerated shit so it also appeals to autists and mega-nerds, since everything is so over the top even an emotionally numb manchild can understand the "jokes".

Any time people on the internet start talking about "le British humour" and Monty Python is recommended I die a little inside.

>>9735280

americans talking about monty python as if it were anything but the same retard trash on american television is so irritating. it's like 13 year old contrarian behavior

>>9730853
>Also when Dostoyevsky mentions spans of time because it's always way too long. People staring into each other's eyes for like two solid minutes, or a guy weeping for ten minutes, or being speechless mid conversation for a full minute. That's a long time. Like autistically long.
i don't think that these were meant to be taken literally

>>9734038
alternatively
>character speaks english as a second language
>when they speak english they pepper their sentences with extremely basic words from their native language

>>9729617
>"Hi, I'm David Copperfield"
>ugh god not another one

>>9729617
>written by a woman
I know this feel. I just can't accept that a woman could write something at the level of depth I desire.

>>9730475
fuck you, fashion is the down syndrome nigger of the arts. What could you possibly find worthwhile in it other than not dressing like an autist?

You don't get any of this when you read actual literature.

>>9728947
>Insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
I have never ONCE seen this quote by Einstien used properly.
He was a scientist,
what do scientists do?
The same thing over and over again expecting different results.
He was being sardonic.

>>9731502
>authors that used to be engineers,physicists,etc
As a chemical engineering major I get the motivation for this. There's an implicit understanding among the upper tier STEM's that we're intellectually superior, especially to lib-art trash. We just like to rub it in.

>>9728947
>religous satire
What demographic is this genre written for?

All platitudes.

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>>9728947
>book about an author doing author stuff written by a long time author

Looking at you, Stephen King
>anything fantasy whatsoever

Fantasy is just a lazy way to hide poor prose behind a somewhat good story--and you'd be lucky if the story is good at ALL.

>anything lovey dovey from the get go

Idc about your lover u just introduced the bitch

>main character describes his frustration that people around him don't get it or aren't as well-versed as him in philosophy or some shit

stfu u pretentious cunt

>mentioning a fidget spinner

pic related, I was on the reddit writer's board trying to find critiques and stumbled along some stories.

>>9729949
>caring about science

>>9733483
What's wrong with Dick Castle?

>>9729750
and usually the line from the book reflects all of that, what's the issue?

>>9733407
I agreed with their post, though I am ignorant and disinterested in fashion beyond simply looking at something and considering cultural and aesthetic merit. I'm not interested in established content or industry.

But yes, they phrased it like a melodramatic child who believes their views circumvent all else, it was off-putting.

>>9733468
>tfw aerospace engineer who can't find any sci-fi that sufficiency satiates my autism and technical interest in addition to achieving a decent narrative with believable characters as opposed to horrible "characters" and generic unfocused mashing of decades-old tropes

>>9737543
>>book about an author doing author stuff written by a long time author
also when the book is written as a clear ego trip sexual fantasy for the author but it pretends it isn't

it was ok on The Da Vinci Code, at least it was transparent, straightforward and unapologetic. i'm not even sure if he even fucks the girl and it's just an ego trip without the sex fantasy part

but holy fuck how bad it was on The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, not only was the protagonist a proxy for the author to play a playboy latin-lover swinger, irresistible to all women, but he also had to fill the book with blatant virtue signalling about how much he respects women while he fucks them all

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>>9730859
That's grammatically correct though.

>>9737620
It's actually his best book but you need some prior experience with PKD's themes of authenticity to fully appreciate it.

>>9729949
Annoying person.
*infects you with lice*

>>9737193
I get the urge to drop not only books but tv shows and basically any other media. esé

>>9735632
oh yeah, someone does not like british humor, they must be an american who likes amy schumer. pointing out that something else is shit does not make your thing any less shit

>>9737543
>>9737543
>Someone said that an idle mind is a workshop of devil.
Great impersonation of easterners and orientals.

>>9734698
tale of two cities

>spend so much time describing the environment you forget to describe a story of any kind

Sorry, I just dumped The Difference Engine about a third the way through.

>>9731641
this is realistic though, no?

>>9735280
well what is good humor? mr bean, Mitchell and Webb,blackadder? tell me, I wish to taste the true brit humor

>>9737200
I think I maybe giving women higher ratings because I expect nothing from them thus feel impressed when they accomplish something basic. I give them a pass more often than male writers

>>9737240
>The same thing over and over again expecting different results.
They do? I assumed they did the same thing with mild variations in hopes of finding something new

>>9737241
you are justified but you have to remember you are writing an adventure story and not your blog or diary

>>9737245
people in their mid 20s. usually ex religious people who have had a bad break from their religion

>>9737543
>Idc about your lover u just introduced the bitch
is not it better than starching it over the whole books?
>main character describes his frustration that people around him don't get it or aren't as well-versed as him in philosophy or some shit
oh I feel you so much. forget philosophy, I get tried everytime character bitches about how they have suffered and how they bet X character never had to work for anything in their life.
>fidget spinner
There is so much wrong with the wording of that text that I don't wish to spend time breaking it down. Was it written by a toddler or a non english speaker

>>9737606
>not caring about science
have fun being surrounded by idiots

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>book was only made to cash in on the name of a fictional author

>>9737801
>also when the book is written as a clear ego trip sexual fantasy for the author but it pretends it isn't
MFW Ed Greenwood wrote a book bitching about how the game company screwed him over and then gave himself a sexy winged girl to lust after

>>9737801
>virtue signalling about how much he respects women while he fucks them all
That is usually the worst part.
>about to go into a sex, male "character" takes a pause to point out that one of the boobs is bigger than the other and that is totally normal ,adding in " life is not like your porn you silly fool" or something like that

>>9737902
is it? I have literally never seen a boy run a hand though his hair during a conversation. have you?

>>9737911
you're right. that anon is an idiot.

>>9737959
I do. Mostly when I'm nervous, or really emotional about what I'm talking about.
I'm not a boy, tho

>>9737979
>not a boy
>into-the-trash

>>9737979
>I'm
well there you have it. Its very common for girls to touch their hair and boys do run a hand though their hair when in privet. sometimes they can fidget so much with it that it starts cutting their hand but they usually don't do it in public. like "backing away with both of his palms up" its a exaggerated motivation which you are unlikely to see in real life or will see it in a very serious situation while writers like peppering their text with it frivolously

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>>9729617
>>9729660
All of these

>>9738001
>privet
private, etc .

>>9738001
>a exaggerated
an
>motivation
motion
etc. its time to rest, the heat is getting to me

>>9737959
i have seen it plenty of times, and have done so myself. However, I believe it is more common in young adults

>>9738001
Hmm. I agree you don't see it much in public, but hair isn't a gender specific thing. Girls touch their hair more (for example brushing their hair back when flirting) because it's longer and falls into the face. Guys with long hair brush it back or shake it just as often as girls do. Long hair is a (I forget the term) female sex...indicator? Simply because long hair on women is a societal norm, not because women have a more inherent predilection towards touching their hair. Though I suppose women (or anyone with long hair) would get into the habit of brushing their hair back more than people with short hair, so they'd do it more, but that's a habit thing, not a gender thing.

>>9729617
t. pol XDDD
fucking stupid racsists

>>9728947
>bad scientific explanations
You don't have to reference scientific theories in your writing. In fact, you probably shouldn't unless it's really relevant. But if you're going to do it, FFS get it right. I don't want to have to read another shitty explanation of relativity or quantum mechanics by someone who doesn't have a clue what they're talking about and couldn't even be fucked asking a scientist (or even a bright undergrad). Nothing screams pseud like awkwardly shoehorning in some scientific theory, and not bothering to check whether you even know what you're talking about because you know most readers won't know either.
Also,
>characters can infer way more from facial expressions than is reasonable
This one's a bit harder to explain, but it's common in mediocre writing for some reason. Shit like "Alice knew from the look on Bob's face that he was contemplating whether he should just leave town now and start a new life". It's as if the writer momentarily gives up on writing dialogue and just decides to make the characters telepathic.

>>9738030
I was superficially thinking of young adults and I don't recall a single boy in my school or university ever doing it. maybe it has to do with location and upbringing, maybe there is a hair boy the same way there is a valley girl

>>9738194
>This one's a bit harder to explain, but it's common in mediocre writing for some reason.
I get it. its kind of 50/50, someone pulling a Downey Jr holmes can go wrong fast or be tiresome when the character is unable to find the guts to speak so they "read" each other often basic a lot on assumptions. I also dislike the opposite where the character is unable to infer anything from other characters face,words or even actions.

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>>9737935

I went to reddit so you can be assured of the former.
>is not it better than starching it over the whole books?
True, but at the initial stage of a story there's no reason for me to care about the sappy shit desu.
All of my complaints were about reddit shit btw, you can read that "Omg no one is a deep as me" story here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gBfxnwFVuq0-E6l0x3S0zauKhDG-W7WsOmjPDOpqs4A/edit

Heres another funny one from leddit, just looking at the chapter page is enough to have eye hemorrhages: https://docs.google.com/document/d/182gtQTrUZB6S5gP_S1-MjQMD1CT8QdpP9nDP6BIAGxI/edit?usp=sharing

>>9729627
This one'a fine.

>>9729949
>>pretentious pseudo psychology
None of what you said is "pretentious pseudo psychology".

>>9728947
>you have a "good guy" who is right
>and a "bad guy" who is wrong
I don't care how complex they are or how much shit they represent and how intricate that is shown through their actions or whatever. It's bullshit.

>>9738518
I don't mind it. what I do mind is when reality comes knocking and the "good guy" has to make a hard choice but instead they turns passive until someone else resolves the problem (while apologizing to the hero for being unworthy) or some 3rd bullshit option pops up.
>"bad guy"
I dislike when antagonists do evil despite it being unprofitable, unnecessary for their ego,etc. They do it "just because" and on the flip side I hate when they don't do it "just because" like when they can deal with the protagonist but leave him to pass out

>>9737970
Also, Einstein never said that.

>>9729660
+1

>>9729949
I think the phrase you're looking for is "navelgazing".

Typos
Drama
Too many charactets introduced at once

>>9739071
What do you mean by "drama"?
When someone says "drama" I just assume it means general plot. As in "the drama".

>>9739104
Sorry
Women drama, when a female character acts like a retard

>>9737216
I don't care that much at all about dressing well. I care more about runway shows and the different designers, and the history. For me it is very inspiring, it's a source of emotion just like tv shows or music. It is very much an artform in itself, there are objective qualities in every look on a runway such as the silhouette, the quality of the material, the material, the craftsmanship, the cut, the colours, the proportions, the styling, and so on so on... There are also more abstract things in every runway such as the mood and the way it makes you feel, politics, symbolism, the cultural inspiration the looks in the show have been inspired by, and I can keep going. There is just so much that makes something good, and once you understand it well you almost get a craving to discover more that fulfills all of the new demands you come to have after a while. Suddenly you see errors and stuff that doesn't please you, so you want to keep looking for the stuff you do like for that emotion again... I get physical shivers when I look at something I like a lot.

I can find the exact same satisfaction in interior design and architecture, for me they're all connected because of the underlying factors that determine parts of their quality.

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>In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth

>>9739476
>none god character about himself "and then X looked down on what he had done and deemed it good"
extra points if it's a none religious antagonist