After giving up becoming a mathematician, I changed my major

dont read nietzche without knowing some philosophy beforehand: plato, descartes, kant, schoppenhauer

While most mathematicians or literary theorists are born (knowing their passions and meaning by 10-13 and pursuing them) there are still those who are made a bit later. Someone may be ahead of you in whatever you like but if you hop in now then you will be one more ahead than if you would do it a day later.

>>9714869
fpbp

mediation is for calming the mind to prepare you to see that ''dispassion towards sensuality is good '', (once the appetite for sensuality is no longer a drive, there is still something to stop caring about, but this is not important for a beginner), with the first effect being the killing of being attracted to thoughts. So the way to do this is first to watch typically the breath a few minutes, then when a distraction arrives, you recall that having the monkey mind, day dreaming, thinking about past and future, expecting things, thinking about your losses, makes you miserable. Once done this, you go back to something grounding and pleasing (or non-harming) like the body or the breath (but at the beginning, watching the breath is not pleasing, and turns into boredom which becomes an excitement for ending the mediation), so stick to the body and watch how comfy it is to be in contact with the material support (like a bed, after a day of being exhausted by manual labor) by relaxing any tension in the body (typically through the muscles).
generally, when the focus on the breath or the body is lost, the muscles of the face are tensed and they must be relaxed)

The most important point for mediation is that
-the joy or pleasure makes you focused (like in any other activity, if you enjoy an activity, then you do not think about hunger, about pains, about fatigue, about the future; the pleasure makes you keep doing what you are doing)
-but pleasures which does not come form the senses is far better than the sensual pleasures (including the intellect), this pleasures arrive with first jhana (people fail to see this)
-the way to get this pleasure is first to calm the intellect [what buddhist call mano] which you do by seeing that having the monkey mind is displeasing and exhausting and you do not stop it by willing to stop it, then by keeping your focus on the body or breath and relaxing any tension
-the way to be moral, like buddhists say, is the first step to decrease the monkey mind [not lying, not building stories, not stealing, not getting into entertainment, sensuality as soon as you can, which is done by seeing that the fear of missing out on social life makes you miserable, and that there will be as much entertainment, opportunities to enjoy yourself tomorrow than there is today, so you can take a break for a while from of this entertainment]

doing this over and over will make the sadness disappear during the cession, even a bit afterwards, but once the mediation is not longer done for good, everything will turn back to what you live today. The way to stop being miserable once and for all is to meditate and afterwards reflect on the source of this misery, by willing to end your misery once and for all, accepting any consequence that this brings [it turns out that the price is to stop ''enjoying'' pleasures through the 6 senses and to rely only on the jhanas]

>>9714859
It's just an existential crisis. If you got therapy before, it means you really repressed you're previous delirium under someone else's comfort. You sit here and say you want to die, yet ask to be pardoned or forgiven? You need religion. Try the Bible or other religious scripts or even simple books such as Siddhartha.
Or if you're just going to shoot that dead in the water, then you need to meditate heavily on the thoughts which drive you to suicide and separate them from the thoughts the drive you life. Then recite to yourself, similar to chant, positivities which inspire yourself. Don't allow the despair to crush you and find your footing Atlas. You want to live, but your ego is in the way. Grass grows in the cracks of cement, and tartigrades survive in the vacuum of space. You must choose for certain if you wish life or death upon yourself and act accordingly. Not with any outside direction, but with what your being longs for. Only once you've come to decision may you be able to return to life as either dead and reborn, or dead and dying.

>>9714891


for instance people claim that being hungry is suffering and that stopping people to feel hunger is to feed them.this is false:
-get hungry
-get displeasure from hungriness
-feed
-may get pleasure form food
-get hungry again and still disliking it
=>feeding is not the way to stop being hungry and being displeased by hungriness

same thing with tiredness. People dislike tiredness, and they claim that sleeping is the way to stop being tired. this is false
-get tired
-sleep
-wake up
-get tired again
=>sleeping is not the way to stop being tired

this is how you identify the way to see that whatever you did so far in life did not prevent you from feeling miserable

same for being miserable

-be miserable
-read a novel, daydreaming, painting, whatever people do
-feel miserable again
=>reading novels etc. is not the way to stop being miserable
as soon as the displeasure, the annoyance, the discomfort, the boredom, the pain come back, however small they are, you know that it failed whatever happened between the two times where you were annoyed and so you do not continue to do them, since your only goal is to stop being miserable once and for all. this is how to judge if an action, a speech or a though is effective about stopping misery

You're a fucking idiot OP. You grab the most difficult book by the author without knowing any context to any part of the text that is open to such wide interpretation that no consensus has been reached on it. You're supposed to start with the fucking greeks. And if you wat to read thus spoke sippidy do da you need to read his previous and post work. You're falling for the nhilist b8. He deconstructs everything and then builds it up again. Go find another book you lazy faggot.

Barring too much suffering, whether you die now or 30 years from now makes almost no difference.

>>9714859
do whatever you wanna do

>>9714869
This was compulsory reading at my university. Everyone have some basic understanding of that stuff.

>>9714875
I am about to finish my major in AI, and I suspect that I am fairly good at what I do.

>>9714915
What was the point of that "quality education" and why be good at anything when you're just going to off yourself?

>>9714898
>>9714891
how to get into meditation? I heard that sitting and just counting breaths, not thinking about anything is good enough, but there are some conflicting views