/lit/ humor and cringe thread

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:)

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>>9696544
I don't watch superhero movies cause im too smart so I can't read this

>>9696640
is this supposed to make /lit/ cringe for being a lazy shop? i think you confused us with /gd/. just because we both know what kerning is doesn't mean we care about it like them.

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>>9696666
Oops posted the wrong pic. Wasted those appropriate quads too. Oh well.

>>9696695
I fucking died, Anon pls

>>9696522
this isn't cringe this is based

>>9696594
Shouldn't this be called The Trolley of Theseus Problem?

>>9696538
This got me.

>>9696522
why do I feel that a pathetic collating redditor is behind this thread

I'm playing the piano for the stage tonigight. My name is elvira Ulura. I hav ebeen trained in the arts of the piano for many years. One may not know it bu i was ever since i laid my eyes on this beautiful instrument a truthful fanatic of msuic. With nothing but joy in my heart i delved deeper iinto this world. It was all i had and all i needed. I didn't have a boyfriend or sex and such things. I was so deeep into my world that the social pressure didn't have any impact on me. I felt no unease, no restrictions, no anxiety.

Only when i entered university things did change. Back then i met a man named Theo. He was a sad little creature and yet i couldm't help but feel for him. He would struggle heavily to even get out of the bed i he morning and at the slightest doubt he would collapse entirely. He was in a constant state of deprresionn and despite of great plans, which he had and in which e truly believed in, and despite being well read and a relatively intellight fellow he was simply unable to overcome something which was deepy embedded inside him and that was his failure of failing. He was also studying but he wasn#t doing well at all. He often didnt't show up and missed his papers and once even missed an exam which he barely got excused by a doctor. this all sounds terrible bt he was still a very sensntive person. you coud talk to him for hours and as one of my friends said: You would get to know yourself. I had never thought as much as i had when i had spent time with him. Everything was for him an object of reflection, of doubts, of questions and so he was a truly great friend for he was always to shed some new light on a situation that seemed irressolvible. It sounds exaggerated but he helped me many times, from university to music work, to interpersonal stuff, to family stuff. I couldn't thank him enough, but still there was always this feeling of desparate hopelessness surrounding him. Despite of all his talents and his good ears and eyes (The things he saw in a single moment!) he was caught in his own pathetic web. And as time moved on i witnesses how his talents did not help him in his situation but rather deepened his misery. He knew that the thing which was neccessary as to free him from this passivity and fear that sbaotaged all of his ambitions, was not compatible with his mode of dissecting and analyzing the world around him. His greatest issue i belief was his lack of trust. this stopped him from getting into close ties with anybody, ties which had proven to be so valuable as sources of growth and learning for him, but even more importanlty he was never able to trust himself and thus assumed a dangerously sarcastic position towards his own perspective and beliefs.

This mess left him paralyzed, unable to act, unable to stop doing what he did not want to do. And it intoxicated all of his thinking as well. Instead of letting his mind roam he was stuck in trying to come up with a theoretical solution for something practical. hopele

Me and Nick land are among the few individuals to fully understand the implications of Deleuzean thought and achieve the BwO. It is no coincidence that we both went insane soon after. Six visits to the psych ward later after deterritorializing myself with hardcore psychedelics, I have now returned to the fold of Platonism. The ethics of difference, it would seem, end only in a padded cell or a coffin. For my mother's sake, I now adhere to virtue ethics. Kinda miss fucking bipolar scene sluts but then again that's probably how I ended up with HPV. I only hope my future wife can forgive me my immature philosophical infatuation.

>>9696995
Why do I feel like a summerfag is behind this post? Humor/cringe threads have always been a classic on this board, and are certainly better than the rampant summer/politics/philosophy posting.

>>9697095
I will only be referring to cumming as dick parkinson's from now on. first thing to make me laugh out loud on this board in a while

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>>9697095
>Torolf entered her like she was a lottery
>and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment
>fading sound of galloping abs

>>9697002
Can someone explain what this is? Is it talking about Nietzche or something?

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>>9697102
how triggered can I make you little faggot?

>>9696549
That's kind of sweet desu. Very John Greeny, but still sweet.

>>9697095
>Hilda clutched and the bedsheets with lust and ecstacy and her hands.
This is genuinely funny.

>>9697782
sounds like a line Joyce would write in the first half of ulysses

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>>9697095
>She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.

>>9697113
Am I still relevant? Pottermore is still a thing.

>>9697113
I no longer object to the Death of the Author

>>9697095
>spongy love mountains

>>9698267
it's not even original

curses == disease is old hat. eng lit 101

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>>9697095
> Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it

>>9697113
>>9698267
suicide_of_the_author.png

>>9696522
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Sgz_5iIRdg

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i dont have much

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>>9700251

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>>9700255

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>>9700258

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Remember this joke?

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>>9700262

>>9700246
whether it is real or not i love this

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>>9700264

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>>9700269

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>>9700276

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>>9700282

>>9696556
I haven't watched those movies either but by now anyone who's been on the internet must know these scenes from sheer exposure to baneposting

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>>9700289

>>9700282
>God gives cancer to him
>Dies
>muh atheism

*Spoiler alert*

>>9700269
>>9700276
>>9700278
dammit anon that's some low-grade shit I'm not even sure qualifies as cringe

>>9700282
does anyone have the HOW DARE YOU pasta where in between each HOW DARE YOU the audience gets crazier and crazier? (pathetically, I've already checked deep in the archive, but it's hard to search)

>>9700046
>hurr us black guys are so fanny and clever xDDD le BBC amirite?!
Kill yourself you pest.

>>9700327
Alt right trash

>>9700327
I can't imagine a black person saying that, really. Not being racist. It's just wholly unimaginable, a black person doing what that post describes. I'm brown, but seriously, I can't imagine it. Do you agree? Do you?!?

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>>9700046

>>9700046
Love this one
>>9700327
Stop false flagging, leftypol. We see through you.

>>9700340
Make some black friends. Niqqas I know can be mad educated. Ask your wife, I'm sure she knows some.

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this thread is currently up but I had a hearty kek

>>9700370
>too afraid to say nigger on anonymous image forum
I don't think there's any chance of recovery for you. Your head is demented to the point of no return

>>9700370
Blacks in my country are social pariahs.

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>>9700411
My friends are here with me faqqot. We're browsing the porn boards pumping up for a circlejerk. I just popped into /lit/ for a second to check my accounts. Lighten up.

>>9700455
Oversharing with people who don't give a fuck.

>>9697113
>yfw most people with hiv are ferocious monsters who savage children except for this one token faggot

Jesus christ that poor woman went nuts.

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What the fuck is this? I'm sincerely interested.

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>>9697731

>>9696617
wow a multi-millionaire spent like 50$ to leave four books on the subway.

>>9696995
I do this "collating" shit and I've only been to Reddit a few times compared to being on 4chan for 6 or 7 years
it's just the 'tism, or more likely my clinical obsessiveness

>>9696538
I'm suddenly interested in the answer to this question

>>9700935
A classic

>>9700227
lol wtf

>>9696594
that's actually a good one

>>9696654
I once met a philosophy major at a social event for autistic people. He said it wasn't that hard. He also believed in chemtrails. Nice guy though.

>>9697095
I think I remember this thread
>3 years, almost 3 years to the day
well
what can you do

>>9700340
I knew this black guy in high school who would totally do that, but he's probably in a mental institution right now
I hope you do OK, black friend whose name I don't remember!

>>9696594
this is actually great

>>9700046
oh fuck yes that post was a classic!

>>9696617
>hernoine gets fined for littering

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>>9700935

>>9700046
Now somebody post the picture of the black guy in the fedora, trench-coat and sunglasses reading two books at once on the train.

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>>9696522

Are we not posting the youtube girl that /lit/ scared out of doing reviews ?

>>9700263
I was legitimately upset until I realised it was a joke. And I go on /fit/, too. I just like to have the communities separate.

>>9700370
>defends niggers
>starts talking about BBC and wives immediately after
Are these the all too famous nigger wits? nigger

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>>9696594

>>9697095
>The fading sound of galloping abs

Holy shit.

>>9696654
even though this is satire it makes me sad because husserl is awesome and doesn't get enough attention.

>>9702148

For a moment I thought this was from that feminist bookstore where they hid the spines of books written by men.

>>9700577
>>9697731
I breathed air out of my nose a little. post more

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>>9701869

>>9696522
>arranges bookshelves by ~emotion~
Truly, worse than animals.

>>9701970
>arrangement forms a pattern
what did he mean by this? Was Dexter brain-damaged or simply so intelligent that life was one giant game to him.

>>9702378
>Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception
Fucking kek

>>9697095
>Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson's

I'm dying.

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>>9701908

>>9696654
I can believe this, a waiter at my work has a PhD in english literature

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>>9696544
Someone want to have a crack at doing a Gene Wolfe?

>>9697095
and lit says women can't write

>>9702148
Is this stupid? I don't know. It's a nice idea, but stupid execution. I'd put a separate shelf, for turn around books, but they're all right way around in another. There's be a little sign that said "you can find all these books in the shelf to the right"

You're trying to charm your customers, not aggravate them.

>>9697095
"hot pearlescent sperms" actually made me lol irl, 2bh

>>9702351
this one's great

>>9702496
It's a joke.

>>9702440
Probably comparing translations

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>>9702359
>he hasn't discovered the freedom of mind 2D allows

>>9702351
Unironically inspiring

>>9697095
This has to be self aware.
I physically laughed

>>9697740
kek

>>9697095
I remember I downloaded the book the first time I read this post but I couldn't find the passage. It's the work of a great /lit/ poster unless I missed it

>>9701104
>>9701147
good life

>>9702924
big if true

>>9702895
Definitely is. The line that convinced me was:

>her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it

If this was legit they would have continued with the silly metaphor

also
>clunge
>meaty love mountains
>dick parkinson's
I kinda want to read this desu...

>>9702962
>I kinda want to read this desu...
IIRC it was from some sort of parody blog and isn't actually in that book

>>9702942
I meant only the quoted paragraph was the work of a /lit/ poster.

Downloaded the pdf again and ctrl+f yielded nothing. I was looking forward to reading a book full of that stuff :(

>>9703089
the next /lit/ novel should be romance

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>>9702341
>Norton Critical Complete Harry Potter

>>9703089
the paragraph predates its posting on /lit/

>>9703175
Ah yeah, just saw the post that said it was from a parody blog

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>>9697095
i haven't laughed so much in a long time, i started losing at 'soft pink petals of her clunnge' and had lost completely by 'spongy love mountains' i didn't stop laughing until the end of my third re read.

>>9702378
alright i'll admit this made me laugh if only for the unexpected artemis fowl nostalgia that it brought to me.

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>>9697095
>galloping abs

>>9702372
I don't get it

>>9697095
I almost died from laughter. jesus christ

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>>9697095
>mfw this is the woman that wrote that scene

>>9700340

What? How sheltered are you?

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>>9704849
Apparently this is what she wrote in the actual book, which inspired the anonymous rewrite

>>9704849
L-lewd.

>>9702828
Its's some new age pop religious shit and the bible

>>9705011
hey I was one of those replies

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>>9696522

>>9700263
I want it back

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>>9705011
I forgot to post the replies I capped too

>>9705366
that is the best cover i have seen for that book

>>9700530
>yfw most people with hiv are ferocious monsters who savage children
>hes a werewolf
maybe she is getting redpilled

>>9705295
Don't worry, we'll make sure it's on your epitaph.

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>>9702375

>>9705373
I just fucking died.

>>9704881

So what does it take NOT to be a New York Times bestselling author?

>>>/adv/18476629

>>9702496

this probably was done by some kid/customer. ive worked as a bookseller and this would be pretty annoying but at least would give me something to do instead of staring at the shelf and trying to find misplaced books

>>9696654
Pharaoh is a boss game tho

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>>9702363
reminds me I have some camus memes

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>>9707863
well only 2 actually

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>>9705373
i love IJ but this is honestly too funny.
have another dfw meme for your troubles

>>9700327
We get it, you are scared of brown people achieving the same level of economic attainment as you, Chad.