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Write what's on your mind

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Write what's on your mind
>>
My female friend told me she has a crush on me. I was annoyed, angry even, as I'm not attracted to her. I was supposed to look after her pets for a couple of weeks but instead started a bender and didn't even bother to let her know. Persuade me to apologize.

p.s. she told about the crush just before the pet thing so i felt a touch of manipulation, what d'ya think?
>>
>>9671403
Beat the fuck out of her.
>>
I think i'm gonna give up on writing. My poetry feels stagnant and has for a while now.
>>
I am current genuinely afraid that my personality will disintegrate without drugs and alcohol and depression and nihilistic hedonism generally. How can I be excited instead of afraid?
>>9671403
Just be yourself
>>
>>9671425

It's just a phase, anon. Unless you're >17. It's a young man's game.
>>
I am gay. My partner cheated on me with someone that may have AIDS.

I feel like I am on the death row. I have to wait weeks before the final diagnosis.
>>
>>9671436
Nah, I'm close to publishable (and publishable with some pieces).

I'm 23 btw.
>>
Thought loops of I shouldn't have done that
Reacting to old memories: mistakes, accomplishments, regrets.
Cannot contain embarrasment, I explode in a psycho fit.
Really, it's an excuse for not dealing with the memory but its too hard.
It plays again and again, as clear and fresh as the first time.
The mind is uncollected, spread too thinly and not involved in good activities and thoughts.
Listen, to the cries of your child, she's no one to play with
In 13 years she'll be calling a crackhead
>>
>>9671447

So it's just some flat on a curve? You'll regret quitting later.
>>
Does my God even give a shit about me?
>>
Waiting for a call back for a job at a pet store. Went to see the manager the week before last and was told he was on vacation for two weeks. The employee I talked to told me they were really shortstaffed and I thought it was shitty he took a vacation over sorting everything out.

This job is almost my last chance though. I have applied to Walmart, Best Buy, etc. Nothing. Applied to warehouses and they don't even want me. Went to a temp agency and all they did was sell my information.

I'm thinking about shooting myself but I really want to be a part of a communist revolution and shoot altrighters. It's keeping me going.
>>
I'm currently hanging out at this theater with a buddy and his sister and they seem way more interested in each other than in me.
>inb4 hentai references
>>
i want to talk to pretty young girls
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>>9671440
Serves you right for being a faggot. You reap what you sow, you bug chasing degenerate.
>>
>>9671403
>2017
>thinking attraction matters
just do it
>>
>>9671470
depends which one your god is
if he's the protestant one, then yes
>>
>>9671470
you sound jewish
are you jewish?
>>
>>9671497
why don't u go to school and get a degree? even a degree in literature will give u better job options than walmart and a petshop...this "only stem ppl get jobs" meme is the worst crap and basically just something asian kids whose parents forced them into stem like to repeat, but the statistics show any kind of four year degree massively increases your lifetime earnings compared to anything else, high school dropout vs high school grad is very little difference, and bachelors vs masters very little difference, but high school grad vs bachelors is basically working poor vs livable wages
>>
>>9671721

I can't afford it and I don't want to go into debt just for a small pay raise. I hate America.
>>
Estou fodido: quarta-feira tem
Uma prova pra qual eu não estudei;
Dai-me forças, Jesus, e eu rezarei,
Um terço para ti, e o cu também.
>>
my ass does
not belong to
you

it is a
precious flower
puckered and
tempting

that only
one worthy
may enter
>>
>>9671497
Ha! Posits an other. Positions his gun. Load blown. Libidinal forces drained.

Me, I'm doing ok. I'm back and forth about what is better, running or weightlifting. What is better to keep my waves regular, my chemicals tingling, my sense of disengagement my centre baring. Caring about an animal might do. There are certainly worst fates.

But it's nice to keep in touch.

>>9673447
Yeah. Same problem. But at the point you're flip flopping between killing yourself and taking on debt, you should at least sign up for a logic course at a university level. Logic is very useful, and fun to explode.
>>
I want to get my dick sucked, I want to play Nier Automata, and I want my student loans paid off. I'd like some food right now too.
>>
>>9673447
so get an associates degree paid for by fafsa and then transfer into a state college on scholarships due to having a decent gpa at cc, it's not hard. that's the other thing about those stats, the bachelor's increased earnings regardless of school ranking, this idea that you have to go to top ten or else just be an uneducated hillbilly is fucking stupid
>>
My favorite piece by Mozart is "Lacrimosa". He died before finishing it and the man who had commissioned it got some other composer to finish it. So I wonder, maybe I will like the composer who finished it.
>>
I want to thigh fuck some thicc-thighed milf with a condom who fucks only in the loophole poophole to preserve her virginity forever and who's wearing underwear and flats.

I want to see some hot mother and son affair in which the son fucks her in the pussy and only cums in her poophole because it doesn't count as incest if she doesn't get pregnant.

Also want to read The Time Machine but I'm kind of sleepy.
>>
>>9671403
Are you a virgin?
If yes:get your fuck on
If no:tell her how you feel
>>
>>9673472
is that you rupi?
>>
I've noticed that when I kiss women in an intimate moment my eyes stay open. Is this strange at all? They'll have their eyes closed as they get into it, but my eyes don't close.
>>
>>9673838
You can choose to close your eyes.
>>
I hate everything. That's what's on my mind. Every minute of every day, has been for 15+ years, possibly my whole life.
>>
Philosophy. I want to learn about it but am having trouble finding a place to start.
>>
>>9673838
That's a sign that you're a faggot according to psychology.
>>
I hate myself for reasons I'm not entirely sure of. My body isn't out of shape, I'm not of below average intelligence, I have a Girlfriend (hardly), and I have a good family. I feel so often something resembling anxiety, but much different altogether. Maybe it's fear, but I don't know what to be afraid of.
Maybe I do think I'm stupid
Can't focus on books well, maybe I'm less than most of these people. Why does it take me longer to do things? Am I too short? No I'm fine, there are others worse than me. Where is my girlfriend? Probably drunk, I don't even physically interact with her on account of being in an online relationship. I don't care about her like I did for that other girl. There's a book in my closet with my ex's handwriting in it, telling me how much she loves me; Lawrence of Arabia. Can't get near that book without some sort of emotional sickness. Am I not prepared enough for college? Why don't I get better scores on my standardized testing? Fuck this, going to bed.
>>
Dam i dont think ill ever beat those Jews.
>>
I just realized I can't tell whether I'm interested in being in a relationship or just interested in the IDEA of being in a relationship. Like, I don't like being alone all the time but the idea of being with someone else right now is exhausting.
>>
For fucks sake, I'm ready to lay down arms if you meet my terms. I do not want this to go any further but I will not be subjected to any more abuse. Compromise and don't pretend this isn't hurting you just as much as me.
>>
>>9673881
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskPhilosophyFAQ/comments/4ifqi3/im_interested_in_philosophy_where_should_i_start/
>>
>>9671403
grow a spine and tell her no, who the hell even likes pushovers?
>>
They always choose war don't they? It's never easy.
>>
My country is in the midst of a death coming for a hundred years, and I am powerless to stop it. In fact, it may have died long ago and I am merely residing in its corpse like a maggot. The people of my country are surely maggots, for they aren't human beings. I am going to have to do something about it
>>
>>9674065

It's an open offer. An easy one. Don't prolong this to Q3, Q4. Meet the terms. Don't make me keep doing this to you. I don't want to anymore. I don't want to hurt anyone. I never asked for this and I never wanted to. I've gotten my justice if you merely take this last step. Don't keep this up for longer, nobody wants it. It would be simple and easy to just compromise here and now.
>>
I'm a Pisces and my parents are Virgos. That must mean I'm Christ or something, right? Idk anymore. I'm no longer a virgin

I lost it at 22, fucking a girl from behind while - unbeknownst to her - wearing her coverup. Fucking her from behind, looking at myself in her mirror while wearing her coverup.
Famous guys wear makeup.

What is life? Baby I'm hurting. I'm hurting. You whore

I DONT FEEL. I DONT CARE. BUT I HATE EVERYONE, LIFES NKT FAIR.
GIVE ME A SIGN...
>>
Don't get me wrong. If it's a fight to the end you want, then that's what you'll fucking get. I just thought there was a bit more sense in you.
>>
joseph goebbels was a lanky if not handsome man.
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>>9671378
damn man I really should be writing my short stories but I've got this headache coming on. Another seven hours at my night shift... Gonna be a long night.
>>
Harrowing first person essay, philosophical treatise, or meditation manual?

>>9671497
If you can't get a shitty job then you're a moron and you need to learn to lie on your resume.
>>
>>9674181
philosophical treatise. meditations and essays are for boiuse genullos.
>>
>>9674174
He looks very short
>>
>>9674186
He was 5'5". Short man, tall voice.
>>
coming to terms with mediocrity. not in all aspects, or that I am mediocre. just that, in some areas of my life, i'm not as good as i want to be, not as good as others. it could be anything. i find that its the more minute things that make me crazy. I could give a shit if i'm not as tall or attractive as somebody. i don't mind if somebody has math or working on a car come easier to them. but if my mom is better at driving at night than me, i go up the fucking wall. it's not psychosis or an illness, or i don't think it is. it's just subtle stuff. since i was a kid, subtle stuff is what made me laugh, its what entertained me, its what made me cry. i work at panera bread, and usually im closing. i do dishes and clean the dining room. i got the job there almost two months ago and I'm pretty okay. but i work with people who have been there for a year and a half plus. they get the shit done so fast, like just really flying through it. its just a downer. the feeling of being mocked or laughed at, or castigated. its silly, obviously, but it really does just get to me. its that inherent need, no matter how 'alpha' or 'beta', most single mother products have to be accepted and part of whatver herd is applicable at the time. another thing im thinking about is panera bread's foccacia. its salty, slightly briney with these little pockets of salty, oily goodness thrown through. panera bread is sick for the free food you can get.
>>
>>9671497
>I'm thinking about shooting myself but I really want to be a part of a communist revolution and shoot altrighters. It's keeping me going.
Don't do it anon.
I want to be the one that shoots you in your faggot face with my Luger.
>>
>>9674183
The one thing immutable of consciousness is it's own consciousness. The. One. Thing.

To that consciousness - whatever is good for it is good, whatever is bad for it is bad.

Pleasure is the greatest good. Not the quick fix of drugs - because that always leads to sorrow - but ultimate pleasure.

To best ensure maximal pleasure, one would need maximal power. Financial capital is the most tangible form of power. People - who give power to capital - are the biggest source of power in the known universe.

Power and pleasure are the 2 points of life
>>
I'm lying to everyone in my life in some form or other. Even my girlfriend, who I live with. Even you guys, right now. I lie to my therapist. I can't stand the idea of someone pitying me or looking down on me. I can't turn to anyone when I feel this way because nobody even knows me beyond the lies I've come up with for them. If I kill myself, it won't matter. I killed myself a long time ago. How can you say anyone cares about me when the person they care about isn't even real? There is something deeply wrong with me. I have been this way since I was a child. There is something wrong in my head. When you've been falling for so long that your skin starts burning, to land seems so sweet.
>>
>>9674208
Sorry if that's not good. I'm not in flow right now
>>
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I have fetal alcohol syndrome. I can't quite blame her as I'm dirt as well. I'm smoking a camel as I browse a literature board, sitting on the couch outside my trailer. I feel constantly that I may be shot out here. There is a constant tension in the air. For my birthday my mother sent me a bong and some money, but the package was stolen off the doorstep. I'm tired of living here, there's nothing left for me. I daydream of moving to Russia or Ireland. Maybe Ukraine. How hard is it to move to a random euroshit country and live in a small countryhouse? People like me weren't meant to live.. I am dirt. I found a lump in my testicle, but I've never been to a doctor, and I'm not going to start now.
>>
What manner of madness is this? You would watch yourselves burn rather than concede to a just conclusion? So be it.
>>
>>9674218
Dark stuff. What race are you?
>>
>>9674270
jewish/korean
>>
>>9674286
The first explains why you're a liar, the second your emotional stubbornness, and the combo your internal hapa rage. But since the side I know you connect with the most, the jewish side, is responsible for producing the race-mixing propaganda I must assume you have been personally afflicted by, I cannot garner much sympathy. Are most jewish/asian combos messed up? I haven't met any. I did know a jew who had kids with a Korean woman but they were just toddlers.
>>
Here's an excerpt from a journal entry I just got writing, pretty personal stuff. I don't expect you guys to understand the religous elements of it, but maybe some of you who aren't the handholdless virginuous state might understand my love

DJ: couldn't remember my dreams

Had overall a pretty useless day. I talked to Jane intermittently almost the entire time. I began talking about Dietrich, which got me talking about how important I've found it is to tell the truth, and how I've attempted to do so the best that I can over the past months. Then the conversation branched off into how we both counter negative self talk, which got us both talking about our self-worth. She told me that until I came along she had no reason to feel like anyone truly loved or cared about her. I made sure to express how wonderful she was to me, and how precious of a person she is. Kinda glad I didn't say "beautiful", that word might've given the wrong impression. Then we actually got to talking about our relationship, and how tense it's always been in person. I didn't claim to know why, because in reality I don't know very well, but I revealed my suspicion as to why this awkwardness exists between us by my suggestion that we develop more as buds and take it as slow as we have been. Some beautiful things were said, all u gotta do is scroll up to that conversation and read it. I felt love and meaning come back to my life since that blissful hour we spent in each other's arms that last time we really saw each other.
>>
I just started working at a shitty job with the kind of gone people you learn about on tv. There's a sense of awkwardness mixed with mental illness that pervades the whole thing.

I stay up late to maximize time to myself and drink an uncomfortable amount of coffee during the day. My sense of consciousness feels stultified, like it has no room to stretch.

Even on this board. Everyone is just a fucking idiot (please prove me wrong). I've yet to find an environment where this isn't the case.

Truth is there and for the taking. I feel like I need a partner, just to ready set go with things. Either for money, fun, or power.

It feels like no one wants to do anything
>>
>>9674316
I will never forget those few days, and I will never regret skipping German class for that time I spent with her. I wish I could be with her right now. Nothing else seems to matter. God, I don't want to make the same mistake, help me. Help me. I don't know what to do, maybe I should take a step back? I couldn't be sinning here. This is definitely a "foothold" moment though, so I should make sure to establish myself in you tomorrow morning. I'm tired of running away, but I still resent, and I still don't understand, and I still doubt, and in my heart I feel an immense resistance toward You that is so deep-set I wonder if it will ever go away. With your grace, I believe I am still saved. But I don't want just to be saved. I don't want to be just religous enough to be miserable. I want to know how to love you. I want to desire you on more than just the level of sheep. I have already expressed in this in one way or another. Lord, you have intervened in my life. By your hand, the sorrow and tragedy that otherwise might have befallen Jane and me in our relationship to a much greater degree was kept to a minimum. I hope that my life can be of some use to your Kingdom, but my pride feels too great to overcome. Lord I am helpless to change myself. I am ultimately helpless before the world, helpless before men, helpless before myself. A small and frail child, whose only success had been won in view of absolute necessity. You, of course, are mighty, and strong, and able to lift me up high above all of my worries and wants. Why should I praise you for that? Why is that of any achievement? It just is. You just are. You are the creator of the universe, the knitter of my bones, the breath of life that kindled the small flame of my very being. I am like a little chick under your wing, a little chick. In this world I feel no pride, no greatness of soul. In my faith I feel bland and lukewarm. I feel as if I am salt without any flavor, good only to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. Through both worlds I aimlessly float, not caring enough to suffer, and not suffering enough to care. I just want something to die for. I want something tangible to die for. Why isn't this given to me. Why am i so alone. Why have you made me to be so alone?
>>
i want to write but i can't fucking write i don't know what to write about and my brain hurts and my stomach hurts and i'm tired and what the fuck is even the point of writing anymore if i'm never satisfied with anything i write?

bonus complaint: i wish my girlfriend wouldn't get mad at me when i smoke
>>
>>9674324
I am not alone. I have her, but yet at the same time I don't have her, and I don't want her. I want her so badly but sometimes entertaining and humoring her drains me and I don't know if that means I really want her. I want her love, but I don't even really want her friendship. I don't actually want anyone's friendship. Friendship is worthless to me, it must be , just look at the outcome of my life. What I crave, what I need, is love. When it comes to human beings, I am only interested in water sourced from the deepest wells. I cannot abide playing in shallow creeks or rivers, I cannot be content exploring the tidepools while the whole ocean sets it significance against me. I realise, though, that I must have my wits about me in those shallow places, even if I don't much care for them. There sea spiders and all sorts of nasty creatures reside, and if I don't watch out, who knows what might bite my heels as I walk.
>>
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How do I get a /lit/ gf, lads?
>>
Consider killing yourself you useless cunt, I am always having to make up for your fuck ups because you can't do anything right you fucking piece of shit
I'm not talking about myself
>>
>>9674338
I need take my own advice, but love yourself more. Groom yourself. Make yourself attractive and cool just like you want you gf. Work out and take time for aesthetics (in grooming, lit, music etc)
>>
I took the antidepressant Luvox a few years ago, and to this day, I feel extremely aggressive and constantly feel the need to filter and erase almost every thought and behavior in my mind. They're that aggressive and destructive. Never take antidepressants. They completely change who you are. I once read that Eric Harris was on Luvox when he did Columbine, and I can totally understand why he did it
>>
>>9674338
Why the fuck would you want that shit? /lit/ women are fucking annoying, just like female vedo gamerz. I'd rather have a gf who's into /ck/, /p/ or /fa/. Some activities just look bad when women engages in it like skateboarding, politics, boxing or in this case philosophy(philosophy is most of /lit/ anyways), that's why there's a YA genre in literature.
>>
>>9674372
>Never take antidepressants.

Some of them are day and night to.
>>
>>9673447
Get the fuck out of this beautiful country you left-leaning pussy. You can't get a job at PetCo but you want to "shoot altrighters". You would die before you lift your weapon.
>>
>>9673975
Are you 17 or 18? Also, how can you hardly have a girlfriend? Probably just ennui. Worrying isn't going to change anything, and the future you envision isn't going to happen. So just relax, my man.
>>
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>>9674373
>tfw /jp/ art school gf
>>
>>9674224
I live in Ukraine, and let me tell you: it's a shithole. A different one from yours, so they're not really comparable, but still a shithole. I dream of moving to a civilized first-world country, but at the moment it's nothing more than a dream.

It's not even a "euro" country, Russia and Ukraine are in their own category of shittiness that's unique to post-soviet states: Everything you see is in varying states of decay, you can feel it in the very air. Gray, brown, black, and various shades of those are literally the predominant colors here. Extreme social unequality everywhere, people trying hard as fuck to show off their money in front of beggars, riding their luxury SUVs in potholed streets filled with stray dogs. The people on the street look fucking ridiculous, with their faux-designer clothes and a total lack of any kind of aesthetic sense.

It's shit, don't come here. Also, these fucking captchas that google keeps giving me is driving me nuts.
>>
>>9674372
Dude shut the fuck up, I'm on medication and it saved my life. I'm nervous as fuck and constantly sweating and my sex drive has been completely annihilated but at least I'm not an emotional wreck anymore.
>>
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I fucking hate the factionalism of the left
Either someone's not radical enough or not using your safe space buzzwords
Or their principals are more important than the healthcare of 23 million people so they can't compromise and vote for a shill over a fraud because the lack of an organised left prevents a better alternative emerging
>>
>>9671403

who cares. if you don't like her, just continue being her friend. I know for a fact that women don't REEEEEE as hard as men do.

you should still watch her pets tho.

I'm just as much of a burnt misogynist as most of us here, but having female """friends"""" is not so bad. Mostly they just pad your ego and give you worthless advice but they also give you things like baseball game tickets. It's really not that unpleasant.
>>
>>9674504
How did your English get so good?
>>
>>9674496
I once had a crush on a girl who was kind of like that, even though she didn't go on /jp/. We watched some wacky anime at my house, then I wanted her to stay over, but she said she had some shit to do. I wasn't even expecting to have sex with her, just thought it'd be nice to have someone over for the night. We kissed for a bit, then when I was hugging her, she said she's a lesbian of sorts, and finds women more attractive. She was lying though, I stalked her on social network site and she's now "in love" with some fag.

Don't know why I'm telling you this, but the story amuses me to this day, for some reason. The way I asked her to stay over was so autistic and self-conscious, and the whole time we spent together was awkward, like in some stupid, B-grade artsy movie. Also, I knew she was lying about being a lesbian then, but didn't call her out on it.
>>
FUCK YOU CUNT, I MAKE BETTER COFFEE THAN YOU, YOU'VE BEEN WORKING THERE THREE YEARS AND YOU STILL DONT KNOW WHAT A GROUPHANDLE IS CALLED STOP PRETENDING YOUR BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE JUST CAUSE YOU'VE BEEN THERE THE LONGEST WHY DO YOU AUTISTICALY INSIST THAT NO ONE BUT YOU CAN TOUCH THE COFFEE MACHINE YOU MAKE LIQUID SHIT OUT OF THOSE BEANS
>>
>>9674504
Russia girls very beautiful
>>
>>9674511
Is there even a thing such as "left" in the mainstream politics? I mean, everything is so samey, that it's find to hard difference between the various parties and candidates. The "Democrats" are "left" is a shitty meme, since there's no real left in there.
>>
>>9674504
>The people on the street look fucking ridiculous, with their faux-designer clothes and a total lack of any kind of aesthetic sense.

Yeah, I was in Ukraine briefly and this immediately stood out to me. And, as a result, I stood out to all of the natives. I didn't need to speak for them to know I was foreign. I liked the women's hair though. They all wear it so long.
>>
>>9674530
The democrat party leadership is not left.
They are the less extreme faction of the Business Party.
There are people within it and its voters who are best described as social democratic/democratic socialist, basically still holding to the ideals of the New Deal
>>
>>9674521

Don't date "artsy" girls unless you have a Charles Manson/cult leader personality and can emotionally/mentally dominate pointlessly stubborn women. They'll just betray you. Don't let the glittery aspects of certain women pull the wool over your eyes (hurr durr she is so /lit/! just like my waifus omg!). One must have a sharp eye for true sensitivity and substance.

After becoming responsible, just settle for one you find pretty and of decent taste and morals and thinks you're "interesting".
>>
>>9674519
I started at an early age, I think it's the only reason. I couldn't rely on having a translation for all those games I wanted to play.
>>
>>9674511
It's disgusting that whites are expected to walk on eggshells around every other group, yet "white male" -- literally the cohort responsible for creating nearly everything these unappreciative peasants enjoy about the modern world -- has been turned into a pejorative people openly throw around like it's nothing. This is why it's so hard for me to understand non-boomer, internet-savvy whites who still can't connect the dots on the jewish question. You have been made the enemy, it's all right in front of your face, and I can point to the jews orchestrating it on a daily basis and say "look," but many will still shrug or pretend it's just a cohencidence. But more and more are waking up each day. I'm not actually worried and the future looks better with time as far as awareness among young people, but it's just odd that so many block this reality out and don't track down the information, then complain about how their life is shit, when the information explains precisely why that is the case. Life is just strange I guess.
>>
>go to a new library today
>its pretty big
>there's barely any fucking books
>instead there are all these open spaces and study rooms and tables and chair set ups
>"library"
>so, anyway go upstairs to waste the afternoon on intertubes and reading because I'm neet
>a summer-y short haired qt with red hair in a flower print blouse and velvet-ish skirt and stockings sits on my right
>a vaguely goth-ish short haired qt with black hair in black dress and stockings sits on my left
>tfw
>>
>>9674546
And then there's this retard
>>
>>9674553
I didn't say spreading the word didn't come without its rewards, though, like making Shlomo sweat.
>>
>>9674517

It's not about her being angry that I fear. But rather, why would anybody try to turn a relationship romantic days before they fuck off for weeks, meanwhile expecting you to do their domestic work? And I know she's one of those that always need to have a boyfriend to feel safe. So fuck her, manipulative bitch.

Also I'm angry at myself because I tried to be unprejudiced throughout this shit, when my experience about male-female friendships always turn this way. But yes I should have taken care of the pets because I promised that beforehand, apologized bluntly.
>>
>>9674535
What were you doing here? Can't imagine what kind of business anyone would have here.

Yeah, I like playing "spot the foreigner" whenever I'm in the center of the city. They always stand out in some way. It's funny, because most of the time their outfits look more subdued than that of the locals', without all the garish colors. Americans wear funny-looking shirts tucked into their mustard-colored pants, and the typical "foreign businessman" is bald and wears glasses. Also, shoes are often a dead giveaway. If they don't look like they've been worn by 3 generations of peasants, and don't have a sharp protruding toe cap, they're probably not from around here.
>>
>>9674546
The white male is immunized against all dangers: one may call him a scoundrel, parasite, swindler, profiteer, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. But call him a white male and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: “I’ve been found out.”
>>
>>9674546
I bet you just came from the other thread on deconstruction, where you explained that it's all a jewish ploy to subjugate the white man, right?
>>
Mother died today, maybe yesterday, I don't remember.
>>
>>9674541
You're right, yeah. It's funny how I came to pretty much the same conclusions by myself after that. Same goes for unnecessarily "complex" people that try to seem really smart and shit. They're just not worth the time and effort. It's just really fucking funny how after so much time of building up this persona of themselves as a true intellectual that's just out of this world, they end up fawning over the same kinds of not-very-bright guys. Ones who usually treat them like shit, too.
>>
>>9674568
Mmm, something seems off....

>>9674569
Is that what I said? Regardless, it should come as no surprise that all conflict boils down to one group if males against another; to deny that is the case is to deny reality.
>>
>>9674584
You sound laughably simple-minded when it comes to relationships. Most of the boys on /lit/ think they crave substance when all they need is validation and ego-stroking, it's disgusting. A girl having a personality is now a bad thing apparently. Try living in the real world.
>>
>>9674206
This. Faggot commie thinking he will be anything but a serf or factory worker.
>>
>>9674632
You seem to have already made up your mind about me, so I'm not going to argue about that. But my point about there being a certain type of "artsy and intellectual" girl who ends up sucking dicks of any kinds of disreputable males that come across her path, still stands. I'm not saying it's the only kind of girl in existence. I'm not saying anything besides this one observation I picked up from my experience. It might even be wrong in 99% of cases and I wouldn't know, because this is coming from my very limited point of view. I don't really see where you got the stuff in your post from, really. You sound like I personally offended you or something.
>>
>>9671497
>socialism gets you to your current miserable state
>wants to fight for more socialism

almonds are really having a jog right now
>>
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>>9671403
in my experience its better to give a girl what she wants then to deny a request every time i turned a girl down its something you definitely regret.
>>
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I've just come to realize that pseuds have such weird taste in romantic partners because they view romance with the same pretension as their taste in literature.
>>
>>9674373
>women look bad skateboarding
Wut
>>
Loving refugees makes me feel so smug
>>
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>>9671378
i cunt nafuck fuck

i hate everythigng

so i don tlike food, i dont like anything

music is not good, i cant eat. now what can i do? i have no life. if i had a life would that be what i wanted? i dont want anything. but i feel pain and unfortunately i have thoughts. maybe dying is a good thing. good just means relieved of shit. all this stupid shit about doing stuff is so cancerous. i dont want but my body needs stuff. why? fuck off

in addditiona, i have no goal, so fuck you. everyone has goals and is selfish. everyone is selfish but pretends not to be. so nobody helps you. nobody throws you into what you need, so you do nothing. but they teach you nothing is bad, something is good. a lot of money in a sack would be good. a nice day on a field is bad if you hav eno job. if you have job it's good. fuck off. have a job and that's life. woahj. fuck off. nobody cares. everybody caresa bout themsleves, not ebven their own children, fuck om.
Now society is sick-everybody walking around driving around looking for shit they dont want. its all learned behaviour like rats who follow the maze or wahterver. fuck off rats. why do you tell me things? you are selfish so am i. why am i here? throw me away. you dont like that because you want me to make you happy. fuck you. i dont want to be alive even. why do you think you want to be alive? your body needs food and shit. and you find silly things to keep yourself busy. just silly things. everything is dead. we are all dead. in the supermarket you sleep and die slowly. you buy things and worry about the cost. you dont worry about fucking dying. that's no problem. but if you dont save enough money you cant enjoy the plastic crap food you cant taste but want to eat because you are taught to do that. you are taught to be a horrible ape shit who consumes shit. fuck off.

you are living in fake bu thgns its real. it scafake. fuck off. iy s all a fake system a fake world like a rat maze. you are the rat. shit on you. rat a shit. fuck fofk
>>
How do you accept that which is inherently unacceptable? How can one have hope in a loss of hope? Would greatly appreciate a religious/spiritual answer here.
>>
>>9671378
Will my future children even want to learn Croatian? I'm not even fluent myself because my parents never taught me properly.
And my girlfriend isn't Croatian either.
So my kids will be ethnically mixed, while raised in an English-speaking nation.

And why does it bother me so much? This is still years away and yet I already feel as though I'm a failure.
Is identity really this ingrained in me? And did I learn it or is natural for one to want children similar to one's self?
>>
>>9675421
As a man of God I can only say pray on it
But as a loser trying to fix a whole lot of shit that hit the fan I just gotta say
It can and will get worse
The only thing to do is get stronger and smarter each day so you'll bounce back quicker

I have spent way too many hours pondering the Will of God and the likes

If I learned one thing it's getting trapped in your head wont help anything just focus on how the now effects the future find a belief that suits you roll with it then change as you get older and deem necessary
>>
>>9675421
>How do you accept that which is inherently unacceptable?
it's there, so it's natural. everything that happens is real. acceptance doesn't mean anything. just say "i accept it" and that makes it so.

>How can one have hope in a loss of hope?
just have it. i don't know what hope is. get some. nobody has it though, they just lie. just lie and say you have hope. say it to a mirror or someone else.

it's all in your head, so just repeat what you want to be true out loud and eventually it will be true. there's nothing out there.
>>
>>9675443
just move to Croatia. you go there if you want that identity. if you want burger identity you stay in fatland.
>>
>>9675443
There your hypothetical kids
Teach them sp they know I grain that it is important hell make trips back home if necessary

At the end of the day your kids will have minds of their own but part of being a parent is giving out a part of yourself to next generation
Best of luck on the family
>>
>>9671378
You were always on my mind.
>>
>>9675456
The fuck
>>
>>9675461
yes
>>
>>9675453
>you go there if you want that identity
I see my identity as mixed. This is the issue of being 2nd generation diaspora.
I don't quite see myself as Croatian, and I don't quite see myself as Australian.
Rather I'm somewhere in the middle. I can fit in within both nations, but it's not a perfect fit regardless of the country.
We have a large Croatian diaspora community here, and all the others in my generation feel this same way.

>>9675456
>your kids will have minds of their own
That's a good point, and I suppose that's something every parent must come to terms with eventually. We all influence our childrens' lives, but we can never control it. In fact, from many anecdotal cases I've seen, trying to control your child (specifically a teenager) will have a negative effect as they naturally rebel against your parental wishes.
>>
>>9675480
>it's not a perfect fit regardless of the country
if you move to Croatia yours kid will have a better fit at least
>>
>>9675530
that's a good point I hadn't really considered
I feel as though my children would actually fit better in Australia tho, because their mother is Australian and their father is a Croat-Australian. I get a feeling they're just going to reject my cultural side and just want to be known as Australians.

Any other diaspora know this feel?
>>
I feel super drowsy right now. It's certainly not as hot today as it has been the last couple of days. I don't quite know what's gotten into me because I've been necking coffee all day.
>>
I haven't been eating, I can't taste food anymore.
>>
>>9671378
Tenets of a viable 21st century conservatism

1. The fundamental assumptions of Western civilization are valid.

2. Peaceful social being is preferable to isolation and to war. In consequence, it justly and rightly demands some sacrifice of individual impulse and idiosyncrasy.

3. Hierarchies of competence are desirable and should be promoted.

4. Borders are reasonable. Likewise, limits on immigration are reasonable. Furthermore, it should not be assumed that citizens of societies that have not evolved functional individual-rights predicated polities will hold values in keeping with such polities.
5. People should be paid so that they are able and willing to perform socially useful and desirable duties.

6. Citizens have the inalienable right to benefit from the result of their own honest labor.

7. It is more noble to teach young people about responsibilities than about rights.

8. It is better to do what everyone has always done, unless you have some extraordinarily valid reason to do otherwise.

9. Radical change should be viewed with suspicion, particularly in a time of radical change.

10. The government, local and distal, should leave people to their own devices as much as possible.

11. Intact heterosexual two-parent families constitute the necessary bedrock for a stable polity.

12. We should judge our political system in comparison to other actual political systems and not to hypothetical utopias.
>>
i just gambled away 80 $
>>
>>9671378

It would be absolute folly to be discouraged in the hour of the reckoning. This is the reckoning.
>>
>>9675624
Why not
>>
>>9675675
I don't like food. I only eat what tastes good, but recently I lost my taste, so I barely eat.
>>
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My neck, my back
Lick my pussy and my crack
My neck, my back
Lick my pussy and my crack
My neck, my back
Lick my pussy and my crack
My neck, my back
Lick my pussy and my crack
>>
>>9675583
Well speaking as an average American negro post diaspora
I think it's natural for children as they grow up to look for identity to stand out
I was basically born without a real history to latch onto

As a youth I constantly wanted a past to learn about and i imagine I wasn't alone

That's probably how we end up with "we wuz kangs" and vikingaboos who just take someone's history as their own

Unlucky kids that didn't find some ancestors to look up too

Tell storys and educate your kids
Make them proud of a personal heritage
My confidence shot up vastly after learning a bit about my Jamaican history
>>
I want to start improving myself, to become better, to overcome my failings, but I just do not know where to begin. I want to learn math for instance, despite sucking at it. But I just don't know what to do. How to begin, and often I dont have the courage or the perseverance to continue.

It's the same with literature. I read the metamorphosis the other day and I think I understand why it is a classic. I feel like gregor- an insignificant insect that will never amount to anything profound. I must change my life, but I don't know how. I don't think I could do that, even if I knew how.

Anyone on lit ever get that "suicide is the only rational option" feel?
>>
>>9675680
Don't you get hungry? Low blood glucose levels would surely lead to painful hunger pangs.
>>
>>9675877
yes I am hungry. I eat a little maybe once a day, like some bread or an apple. I've always felt pain so I don't think about how it hurts. I'm hoping my taste will come back, maybe I'm just a little ill.
>>
>>9675871
Begin here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CqzHIeB9D8&list=PLFA0678B6777BA250&index=161
I think videos are a good first step for learning things if you're a lazy bastard.
The playlist is backwards so it won't auto-play the correct one.
>>
>>9675890
What did you do, burn your tongue or something? How does taste just go? And doesn't smell have something to do with taste as well?
>>
>>9675871
Why would you want to learn math when you have no natural inclination nor a specific purpose in mind? Your post sounds like you like telling yourself sweet lies. If I really want to learn about something I google it in 0.23 seconds flat and have 20 half read tabs open in less than an hour.
>>
Think I just cracked a tooth, lads.
>>
>>9675871
Yeah just don't kill yourself
If you die meaninglessly then you are harming the community

Find a purpose or goal literally anything to live for before you kys otherwise you really would become a waste
>>
>>9675933
I ate a bit of a rhubarb leaf. Things just don't taste much, although I can tell what kind of food I put in my mouth, it's like eating mud. I think my sense of smell is alright.

What also happened was that water started tasting toxic, but that has almost gone away I think.
>>
>>9673472
needs more free form
>>
>>9674218
Good Old Neon
>>
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benis :DDD
>>
>>9676020
very
>>
I posted a political comment on another forum and it got a lot of praise and criticism and I'm not sure if this means I should hate myself or not.
>>
Haiku

Brave samurai return
To the village
Peace is restored
>>
>>9676072
I suggest you onaniate, that is, meditate on it while pleasuring yourself.
>>
>>9676080
Meant for >>9676057 but it works either way, I guess
>>
Everything is vanity, everything is meaningless.
>>
>>9671378
Homer is thicc
>>
going mad
>>
>>9671378
I hate my country, I FUCKING HATE MY COUNTRY.

The elites import millions of shitskin third world muzzies who rape, steal, murder, mug, assault, harass, create ethnic enclaves, enforce their shit-tier barbaric religion on people, drive down wages, drive down property value, decrease social capital, increase the price of goods, lower school achievements and a myriad of other fucking shit.

Europe for whites.
>>
>>9676119
should be more like this>>9676163
>>
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i hope you all reach your goal and find success
>>
>>9671447
What do you mean close to publishable? How can you know?
>>
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>>9676102
hai so desu ne
>>
>>9676202
Thanks!
>>
>>9671470
https://youtu.be/5l-Lv9tGQwI
>>
>>9675829
God Bless you buddy. I do not understand this meme of African Americans thinking ancient Egyptian were "black", they looked exactly like Egyptians today. Neither "white" or "black". Not that it matters if the ancient Egyptians were black, but it's just fact they weren't. Granted there were black Africans in the kingdom.
>>
There's a girl, maybe I have a shot. I probably don't. All I know is, whenever I'm in her presence, I know nothing. I've never been one for dizzying heights but in the brevity of her love I think I'm going to jump.
>>
>>9676226
This channel seems comfy, thanks anon
>>
>>9676262
Its beyond comfy bud. God loves you so much, no meme here. Bishop Barron is the auxiliary Bishop of L.A. He has a plethora of videos on theological topics, social commentary and even film commentary. He's awesome. He was on the Rubin Report too on YouTube for an interview. Enjoy.
>>
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>>9676244
Egypt was a white civilization that got slowly "diversified" like is happening in the west now. Egypt actually *was* ruled by a black dynasty briefly but that era is associated with the very end of the decline (of course). Blacks are a slave race that is incapable of creating or running anything. This is as obvious now as it always has been.

Whites remained the elite even through much of the decline though. The DNA of Tut showed that he was closely related with ~60% of present day English people and shared almost no DNA with present day Egyptians.
>>
>>9676278
>Not understanding Ptolemy dynasty
>literally WE WUZ with crumpets
>Slave race
>implying Kushites were around during the Arab conquest 300 years later
>>
>>9676278
Kek please don't talk like you have any involvement. Egyptians are white in the same way modern "whites" used to be Africans. Only plebieans use language like "black" and "white" instead of specific ethnicity. The amount of genetic diversity would overwhelm your dense brain.

http://observationdeck.kinja.com/no-egyptians-arent-white-but-they-arent-black-eithe-1665322870

Good article to start for common folk like yourself. Good luck with the boils.
>>
>>9676305
>being unable to refute facts and afraid of getting embarrassed so resorting to ambiguous greentexting.
Better luck next time.
>>
>>9676315
I know way more about ancient Egypt than you ever will, which is why you can only split hairs about shit that shouldn't need an explanation -- about black = African, and white = European.

You think you're going to fool anyone into thinking you're smart here with that? Make an argument or keep quiet, little one.
>>
>>9676320
There is more than two centuries between the Muslim conquest and fall of Kush

The supposed black dynasty that ruined Egypt disbanded almost a millennium before Christ

You must be so embarrassed
>>
>>9676345
That had nothing to do with anything, what are you even talking about?

Please, don't waste people's time. If you are unable to write a coherent statement or explain the argument you would like to make, just don't say anything.
>>
>>9676352
Not the same anon, but regardless, please leave. Leave your badge at the door.
>>
>>9676359
Not that anon, but, please, go away. Spare everyone your ignorance.
>>
>>9676359
Sensing some mulatto butthurt itt.
>>
>>9676334
>sees there's a link that contains multiple arguments
>realizes he's illiterate
>lurks /lit/ to learn how to think
>literally typed the words "I know more than you"
Never seen someone btfo themselves KEK.
>>
>>9676364
>>9676352
Brainlets SEETHING
>>
>>9676364
>ignorance
>no display of it
>>9676365
>mulatto
Never been called that as a Finnish descendant, cool beans bud
>>
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>>9676378
>>
>>9676388
Kek
>>
>>9676378
>>9676388
You'd think that the eurotrash that latch unto these nationalist unions would attempt some sort of mutual white respect

Guess not

snow niggers gonna nig
>>
>>9676315
This article repeats what you will hear anytime you read something about Egypt in the MSM, and I'd like to address it.

>ancient Egyptians weren't white or black or _____

This is nonsense, and it should be obvious. The Egyptians of today are, like all Arabs, a mongrel race. Egyptians have something like 10% African blood because of the semi-heavy presence of African slaves in ancient Egypt.

But this was not how it always was. Egyptian civilization was a European civilization that was slowly invaded by semites and others. This is no different than what's happening today.

But when people tell you the Egyptians are or were always this cast of 80 IQ afro-semitic mongrels, and try to convince you that such a people could ever create a civilization of that scale, common sense should kick in. It wasn't always like that, and that is representative of the slow decline that occurs when brown people transplant whites in a society.

The mummies they've tested have nearly all been R1bs, and even had red hair, because the higher castes, even long after the general population had been mongrelized, remained European.
>>
>>9676373
Read and addressed here: >>9676415

>>9676378
>Never been called that as a Finnish descendant
I love the Finns and consider you European all the way, but you are the Asiatic mongrels of Europe.
>>
>>9676415
>falls for the red hair corpse meme

If that's the case you shouldn't mind ginger Ghengis Khan spreading his white seed across Finland
>>
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>>9676412
The world already has already dealt with degenerate thinkers, you're not special kek. You have no public platform, if you do you will be eviscerated. You are now quarantined to areas of mental leprosy such as /pol/ and parts of European trash cans. You're a dying race of stupidity. You serve one purpose which is to be ridiculed. God Bless buddy, we'll be waiting for your much needed epiphany.
>>
>>9676433
I'm not the Finnish chap. Red hair mummies are more than just a meme, though. That's the ancient Celtic master race at work, found them all the way over near those pyramids in China, too.
>>
>>9676434
What the hell are you on about you half literate mongoloid
>>
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I never thought Cars 3 (it was decent, ridiculous corny dialogue aside I was on board with it the whole time - maybe because I set out to like it, but I digress) would make me long for a manic pixie dream girl. Not only do Lightning McQueen and the blue girl car exchange "I love yous", there is some intriguing sexual tension between Lightning and the new female lead, Cruz Rodgriguez (I think that's her last name - maybe Sanchez. Either way Pixar checked "minority main character" and "feminism motif" in one fell swoop.)

But whoever is the voice actor for Cruz was so likable; she had those classic inflections of the enthusiastic quirky girl in her speech, the kinds that remind you girls are people too and not just objects to admire from afar, that women can be bonded with and appreciated for their thoughts and personalities. Then it struck me that it was a fucking car in a children's movie that was responsible for my new longing for love. It was a race car who made me want to reconnect with all those girls I met during the last school year, who were all amazing to talk to and beautiful in their own ways but who I never pursued, or even acted more than apathetic towards.

Why would I do that? Meeting a new girl who is pretty and charming brings happiness in a way that nothing else can. talking to the same old friends and exes can't compare to a new intriguing girl. So why wouldn't i tell them? or even make an effort to spend more time with even one of them?

Fear of love is the true answer. Cars 3 cured it.
>>
>>9676415
Where are your accredited sources you cuckadoodledoo, no one cares about how well you type
>>
>>9676449
Learn to read bud, you're in /lit/. Learn to think too, you'll post less kek.
>>
>>9676448
Those Celts were wise in the ways of photo-oxidation
>>
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>>9676451
Bro,

This is an ancient Aryan Egypt thread now, take it elsewhere.
>>
>>9676451
Bless Cars 3
Savior of Pixar
>>
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>>9676452
Good to know I'm a good typer, but be specific if you want answers. I would be happy to help point you in the right direction.
>>
>>>/lit9k/
>>
>>9676457
You are proof that one doesn't need to be literate or thinking to post
>>
>>9676480
>>9676475
>>9676458
hey did you guys read my review of cars 3
>>
>>9676480
such a limp dick comeback KEK.
>>
>>9675443
You're Australian m8. You dont't have the culture or language or any other trait of Croatians but for your ancestry.
If you want to be a part of the community learn the language, come live here for a few weeks, make an effort to maintain your supposed Croatian identity.
Are your parents alive? Why did they leave?
>>
>>9675967
Did you consider going to a doctor?
>>
>>9676102
Solomon, is that you?
>>
The tragedy and horror of p-zombies is not that some people are p-zombies but that they act like them.
>>
>>9676501
Very powerful anon

Made me rethink my own struggles of love
>>
>>9676521
maybe eventually. I don't expect much from my country's healthcare though. it's easy to give people pills for things they don't have.
>>
I'm starting a new job as a translator on monday, and I'm scared shitless. I feel like a complete fraud. Well, not a complete one, but rather inept.

I still have one day to prepare, but I'm probably going to waste it on trivial shit like I did with the last two. I also don't know how to behave with the people I'm going to be working with. I don't know how to "chat", and I don't feel like revealing anything about myself, because they're going to think it's weird. I'm afraid to come off as an autistic retard and get fired on the first day.
>>
Satisfaction is impossible
I just work in baby steps and avoid looking 10 years down the road because I know that no matter what happens in that time I wont feel fulfilled
>>
>>9676726
everyone is a fraud. it's all in our heads.

just do the job.
>>
>>9671378
happiness exists.
it exists in detachment.
>>
>>9676769
now hold up a hot second, anon. how old are you? how long have you been single for and how long since your last true, unbridled emotion was felt?
>>
>>9676745
what does a satified person do? does he sit in a chair and wait for death? if he doesn't, he's not satisfied, he feels a need to go do something more. why would you want to be satisfied? it's just an idea in people's heads. it will never happen. something is always missing, otherwise you could just sit down and die.
>>
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I've been caught in a funk about how /pol/, alt-right, NRx, or whatever you want to call it thought on women ends in a similar place to its thoughts on blacks and aboriginals, namely phasing them out so that superior people may take their place (or uplift them into superior people), but makes incomplete attempts to avert it in the former case where it's pretty unflinching in the latter.

>be a hypothetical mega-billionaire with perfected CRISPR tech lying around
>/pol/lock complains to me about how dumb and violent nigs and abbos are
>offer to send doctors to Africa and Australia to give the babies white IQ's and comparable propensity to violence
>he'd probably take me up on the offer, it's not like he benefits from the low IQ or violent temperament of other races
>/pol/lock or robot complains about how dumb, weak, disloyal, etc. women are
>offer to do the same with female babies by making them about as strong as men (or even some fighting game shit where they're really agile to compensate for not hitting as hard), as smart, and as loyal/honorable/whatever as men but still being the same in terms of physical attractiveness and fertility so there's no "lol they're all bulldykes" gotcha going on
>he'll most likely attempt to argue that those deficiencies he was complaining about are actually good somehow or that women are better at certain important kinds of tasks without ever really spelling out either or quickly finding that, no, men are better at that too

The above is just an extreme version of the odd tendency to criticize feminists for trying to turn women into men and then laying out what are essentially moral or pragmatic justifications for that (saying that men work harder, almost exclusively built civilization, sacrifice for their country where women hide or fuck the invaders, can beat top-tier women's teams while in middle school, etc.). Maybe they realize the implications of their arguments at some level and look away, maybe they really are thinking with muh dick, but this implicit and sometimes explicit "women are useless retards and civilization will collapse if they git gud" notion baffles me.

Thanks for reading my retard idpol autism.
>>
HOLY FUCK LIFE IS STRANGE WAS SO GOOD! HOW HAVE I ONLY JUST PLAYED IT

#baeoverbay
>>
>>9676797
What a strange idea of 'satisfaction' you have.
>>
>>9676934
You really think you can mess with something as fundamental to human society as traditional gender dynamics without disastrous consequences?
>>
Hope that stripper didn't give me herpes, oh what a lovely whore she is.
>>
>>9675952
Really needed this. I feel extremely suicidal now and then but suicide is such a shameful display of weakness and cowardice, which is why I'll never kill myself. Thanks anon.
>>
>>9671440
jesus, thats awful
if its any consolation, AIDS isn't the death sentence that it used to be
there are drug combinations that can prevent HIV from ever becoming full-blown AIDS even, as I understand it
>>
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I've started looking forward to death.
>>
>>9671440
jesus christ. fuck your life
>>
>>9671470
can something that doesn't exist "give a shit"?
probs not no
>>
>>9671497
you're probably the definition of a communist: a lazy, stupid cunt who wants free shit even though he's fucking worthless
>>
>>9671378
Well I wrote a lot more than I really needed though I have always wanted to really tell this story.
I don't know whether I will be taken seriously or not, though I want to at least try to express my feelings on this topic. It's sort of petty really.
Back maybe a year ago I started visiting this small Reddit community and gathered quite a bit of attention. It wasn't really anything too bad it was pretty neutral, but just the moment I decided I wanted to delete my Reddit account I get that bright orange notification. Impulsively I clicked it and it was an invite to a Discord server. I was unfamiliar with Discord but long story short in a couple of months I completely embarrassed myself and nobody had any sympathy for me and proceeded to make fun of me. Skip a few months of isolation from the community I get an invite to a Discord server that is moderated by another user and I start being friends with everyone there. A occasional hiccup happeneds and I set out a bit but I'm generally chill within the community. This lasts till now at least six months later. I'm pretty much liked by everyone at this point and respected. But I got a run in with the guys from the old server and they started to be actively behave hostile.
I've matured and learned to ignore them and notice their need for attention but it really frustrates me that I can't past something I did in the past.
>Too long to read version
I'm feeling frustrated with certain individuals in a community participate in and the fact that I can't seem to move on from my past mistakes because of a few people.
>>
>>9676986
The thing is that in that line of thought, the only gender dynamics fundamental to human society are keeping the women locked up so they can't hurt anything and keep pumping out babies until you get the artificial wombs. If you've hit Black Pigeon Speaks level you really don't have much reason to defend the feminine.

There are traditionalist approaches that don't imply this, of course; G. K. Chesterton, for instance, opposed women's suffrage but strongly believed that they held a common sense and wisdom men did not. Such feminine strengths don't really play into modern anti-feminism, though, outside maybe some explicitly religious corners where their faith is the basis of women's value. Needless to say, the transhumanist/techno-capitalist holders of this logic are the most likely to explicitly accept the "gas the cunts" conclusion.
>>
I need to study for my final on Monday but I have no motivation. I don't like anyone at these fancy parties people keep inviting me to. The people I thought were my real friends don't invite me to anything because they think I'm busy and then they post about it on social media. I don't want to go to work anymore, my boss just screams at me. I know he's an amazing lawyer but am I really learning anything other than putting in my "due diligence"? I missing having a partner I could tell the small things I'm proud of to. The useless little things no one else cares about. I feel so disassociated with the world around me. There's so much beauty and so many places to explore, but I'm trapped in school for 2 more years, and trapped to pay off debt after that. Why can't I find passion in what I've set myself to do? I got distracted by "start with the Greeks" and I'm not even focusing on the study of the law anymore. I'm dreading this test on Tuesday. I didn't even lift today. I was supposed to lift today. I need to stop drinking when I go out. I need to stop going out. Where did the motivation to study law go from last semester?
>>
>>9677096
Lighten up and forget it. Life is too short to padlock yourself to school and work, do what makes you happy and become the person you want to be. You kind of remind me of a friend, he's been saying he's gonna take a big break after that 'big final', but he's never had any real break and he's annoyingly depressed and fucking miserable. Reading your words, it seems like you completely despise school, if that's your attitude, nothing is gonna change when you enter the working world. Either learn to love it or just discard it, otherwise you're just gonna be a miserable, suicidal faggot and you'll never achieve anything if everyday of your life you're literally dragging your soul to do what you despise.
>>
>>9674270
That person wasn't me. I'm white. I don't think it has anything to do with how fucked up I am.

>>9675984
I don't know what you mean. Did I remind you of Evangelion?
>>
>>9674323
sounds like you're the one with trouble opening yourself up
you probably ask the wrong questions
>>
I'm a disgusting piece of shit that will never amount to anything.
>>
>>9677302
it's a david foster wallace short story

Read it and stop being a faggot
>>
>>9671378
If what I'm doing is so wrong, why don't you fire me? I'm not in control of that. You could do it in a second. So, why don't you? Its because you can't. Its because you ARE wrong. Its because you'd rather try and frantically put out a fire than admit you're burning. Why am I able to do what I do with impunity? From the outside looking in, I am doing absolutely nothing wrong. If you make any move to say otherwise, the law will descend upon you and you will pay much more than you do now. You all will do, say, threaten, goad, joke, anything you can to cover your own asses and make me give up. Of course you will, but you won't actually fire me. Why? Its because you can't.
>>
>>9674776
people like sex, faggot
the people in charge like sex
your parents like sex
You like sex
they liked sex 6000 years ago
they liked sex in the 50s

get over yourself, you fucking faggot
>hurrr i'm so smart hurrr other people are not smart like me i dont know them other than through social media or brief encounters

disgusting
>>
>>9671721
Got a degree in English, was debating that, philosophy, psychology and Computer Science as these are the only things that interest me. This whole "any degree is better than no degree" meme needs to die. I'm 44k in debt and that's not even bad considering what my sister went through who has like 80ish k in debt for a psychology degree and she waits tables.
>>
Rent is too expensive.
>>
>>9674373
I really wanted to hate Lauren Southern after learning her book got endorsed by Ann Coulter. But I find myself agreeing with her on about 50% of the things she says. Anywho I would hate fuck her despite my half-fagness.
>>
I'm sick with a bad head cold on the hottest weekend of the year so far and I'm miserable.
>>
>>9674323
>Everyone is just a fucking idiot
>Works at a shitty job
>Browses /lit/ to play pseudo-intellectual

Don't worry, everyone plays pseudo-intellectual here. You're breaking the rules by calling everyone a dumbass. Also, projection.

I earn my living by programming. I graduated from a university. I can beat you at chess. I read everyday. I write everyday. I have a stack of moleskins I consider to be diaries/thought pads. My favorite band is Slint. I've played the guitar for 10 years. I can read sheet music. I can improvise over chord progressions. I play dota and counter strike because I like fast-paced strategy games. I have 100+ tracks on soundcloud with over 8k plays (admittedly not that many in comparison to more popular artists). I'm 23 years old.
>>
>>9671378
I strongly agree with Kierkegaard's views, and have meticulously thought up a very logical metaphysical explanation for existence that ties into religion. I somewhat recently got a cosmic sign that told me to convert to Christianity. In my entire life I have never adhered to religion. In this circumstance I am faced with logic and my values, pitted against my unwillingness to commit to something. Now I am experiencing in the most brutal fashion the anxiety that comes with decision, which the existentialists have written so in depth about.
>>
I've been bedridden for two weeks and getting so annoyed I want to assault a stranger. I know I would regret anything violent but fuck this. I should just go jogging but I know that will only hurt, too, and I'm not going to get that pleasure from sports for a long time. Every sneeze, every munch, every mannerism just makes me want to mash a person's face into pudding.
>>
>>9677043
shit tier, get out of here retard
>>
>>9677877
Why are you bedridden?
>>
>>9677924

Illness. Well not literally bedridden but walking and cleaning are about the only things I do.
>>
>>9676959
Satisfaction is a strange idea.
>>
It's hard for me to trust people who have never experienced depression
>>
I want to be respected. I've never been treated like anything, worth anything, by anyone, who knew any which way, about any of the many things I know. Is it a problem when there's no one there to pat you on the back when you did something special, or when your grit yourself down to the most impeccable, impermeable, imminent list of words you can throw out in your defense. I think I might just be an unlikeable douchebag, but it only ever matters long enough for me to explain that I'm worth something.

pls respond
>>
Everything feels so shallow and bland, like we've all given up on ourselves and each other, and this is just a cesspit for the inbetweens of lonely ideas, riddled with insignificant nuisances, and unforeseeable travesties of absolutely nothing at all.
>>
I am growing to dislike everything more by the day. I cannot even put on the television without seeing a troupe of bourgeoisie. What do they advertise? Sending children to college, buying a (n expensive) house, retirement. New Money is absolutely ridiculous. It extends down too: dopes obsessed with paying their bills, claiming that to be a SOLE motivator. How are either of these things done? Both seem to come from humanism: the absolutely idolatric notion that human life has some sort of transcendent value. The worst, is that this transcendence is (as all humanism is), secular transcendence. A big load of Platonism. A narrative (Lord do I hate this word) of how 'care', 'compassion', 'civil service' and other C-words are high virtues, As if virtue exists at all or is even compatible with contemporary idolatric science and humanism. Does Aristotle's scientifically-defended ethics not clash entirely with contemporary science? If so, why is it such a hot topic? And why should I care for consent? A new dualism has been born, built on the notion of 'choice': good is decided while bad is undecided or sitting. Yet agnosticism, again, is a contemporary virtue. Where is the adherence to that largest of idols, rationality? I see no consistency in this. That largest of idols has smashed the smaller. Where does this go from now? Every attempt to convince these types that they are colonially-minded or protestantly-minded (they are both) is rejected. How is this Greco-Roman thought not colonial? Was the majority of Europe not once a colony? The old colonies are being ignored in favour for the newer, yet in the old lies the greatest damage: a millennia of decay. I do not trust this 'Western Civilization', the very notion is so un-Western. Is Greece not now considered Eastern, if so, is Westernity not prone to change? Then how can there be a concrete type of civilization? Greece is nothing but in debt to its neighbors to the East. Does this not make it more Eastern? And Rome, the Evil Empire. What else embodies everything decadent about this notion of Westernity, yet is made an idol? How do these idols not clash with their contemporary peers? Could it be, that they truly are so impotent? Now is the time for iconoclasm, yet it is resisted so.
>>9671577
Why aren't you, then? Note that high school is not 'young' unless you are mentally disturbed.
>>
>>9673881


Hello,

Philosophy changed my life.

Philosophy, in time, was a journey.

In this, the 'mystery school' of learning philosophy can theoretically advance as humanity historically advanced, in exploration of concepts. You start with the pre-socratics, then you progress to the 'analytic', hitting all the philosophy in the middle.


Here's a hint: Only study 'western' (analytic) philosophy. There in lies an actual 'study' of academic legitimacy, because only in that is there the study of 'logic', and 'concepts'.


The study of philosophy, after all, is the study of 'concepts'. This is why a 'PH.D.' is earned when you master the concepts of a theoretical field.

In this reasoning, areas like 'eastern' or 'continental' philosophy can be fun and fulfilling, but they offer little in the way of 'exploring' concepts, so much as, they offer a way of 'alternatively' viewing history, or sociology, or ways to live and act.

I find continental philosophy to be a great supplement to psycho therapeutic models of understanding 'disorders'. I also find 'eastern' philosophy, from the 'Sino' far-east, to be some of the more 'enlightening' in how to find personal 'meaning'.


Really, It's about the 'goal'. There is so much 'philosophy' because every area of human knowledge and endeavor has concepts that need tending and cultivation - need exploration of our 'structuralist' 'conceptual-map' of how we perceive the world and apply it.

So, with that in mind, You should have the 'why', and the 'where'. The how is a matter of investment, so Ill leave that mysterious for you.
>>
>>9677867
Kierkegaard was anti-systematic. You are a stinky systematizer. Eat shit.
>>
>>9678419
>A narrative (Lord do I hate this word) of how 'care', 'compassion', 'civil service' and other C-words are high virtues, As if virtue exists at all
What, do you blow up cars for fun? Have you never experienced the joy of virtue, when you know you stood for something and thus created and solidified your place in creation? Exists as much as a gay orgasm, or something. Only much better.
>>
>>9678419
I could barely keep up with what you were saying and I don't know how else to tell you you should write a book I'll never read or understand.
>>
>>9678447
It is not the idea, it's the sentiment. No even remotely positive idea is not poisoned by sentiment. I don't know what else to call this but a 'romance' with the notion. Or better yet, an affair. Being a professional contrarian certainly is difficult.
>>
>>9673838
I tend to keep my eyes open if I'm in love with the person.

I also do that if the person is of color, but that's a different story.
>>
This place is worse than Splinder and MySpace combined, sometimes.
>>
FUCK YOU UNIVERSITY WAITLIST
RRREEEEEEEE
AT LEAST HAVE TO COURAGE TO REJECT ME OUTRIGHT YOU COWARDS
I tried to keep it from getting to me. It's not even that good a Uni. But now I can"t sleep. Every night I wake up in a cold sweat at about 4 AM, panicking about the future. "Where you do your undergrad doesn't matter," I told every dejected girl in my class. Because I was sure I would get in somewhere decent. Now summer is almost halfway done, and every day I begin to panic a little bit more. I'll have to go to THAT school with THOSE people in THAT state, effectively extending my stay in purgatory for another four years. And they don't even have my goddamn major.
>>
>>9674224

Nothing wrong with you. You probably are a good liar and manipulator, your environment reinforced this behavior.

You're allowing yourself to live in hell by believing in abstract concepts such as "inner person" and "real me".

You, and people like you (including myself) don't deserve pity or understanding, because we have the environmental data to appreciate the negative effects of our behavior, but ultimately fail to act upon them.
We fullfill the prophecy by not adapting to the circumstances, and that is all there's to it.
>>
>>9678429

literally, unironically kys
>>
>>9674218
I also recommend this >>9675984.

i was in a pretty bad place when i read it. it helped a little
>>
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Had this idea for a short story or a one-act where there's this game show where you have to answer questions, and all the answers to all of the questions are "pass". Andbutso what happens is that the host has a real conundrum, and decides that the contestants are "passing" on their questions, as in they don't know the answers, so no money gets claimed or anything like that.

Anyway, it'd be very difficult to write and I have better ideas so there you go you can have it anon.
>>
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I have very little motivation, I am very easily scared and angered and perpetually paranoid. Whenever I walk past people I start manually walking (like how you manually breath if you think about breathing to much) and my heart beats very fast. Every single conversion (not that I have many) demands my full attention and is like some sort of complex puzzle, I do not know what to say but strangely I find that I am the one continuing conversations while the other person simply responds to my desperate attempts to extend the interaction. I do not understand. Why won't people initiate interaction with me? I'm talking about internet friends here not real life. I have tried many times but eventually we just never message each other again.

I wonder if I will live long enough to see monster girl sex robots.
>>
>>9677019

This is good thinking.
>>
>>9677419
stupid post
>>
>>9676934
>anime pic
opinion discarded.
>>
Women, man. They have such an intense predisposition for chaos and for order, for love and for disdain
It's addictive
>>
There's absolutely no hope, but as the things around me start to fall away and desert me, it feels liberating rather than terrifying.

I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I will probably never create anything meaningful, least of all a meaningful life
>>
>>9678576
That's something that would work better as a comedy sketch
>>
since practicing meditation i feel i've become more intuitive to my psyche. I have been trying to understand my own thoughts, how they manifest and what defines them fundamentally. By splitting thought patterns into different layers of abstraction - taking influence from objective orientated programming languages - I feel I have become more intuitive to what drives and hinders me, and by understanding the nature of the thought attenuating 'redundant' thoughts or scenarios. like so:

first when something pops into my head I characterise it into either:

>past
>present
>future

following this I then determine the nature, being either:

>positive
>negative
>abstract

thoughts that are concerning the present take priority over past and future thoughts. The nature of the thought then is considered

it's been helping recently
>>
I'm pretty sure I'm going to die a virgin.
>>
>>9678998
There are worse things to die as
>>
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>>9671403
I don't care about the whore, but don't take it out on the pets.

Take care of them and break contact afterwards if you must.

If you neglect the animals well-being I will put a spell on you and you will live a life of misery and suffering.
>>
>>9678998
virgin will soon be meaningless when sexbots and vr take off
>>
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i just fucking want to live this small town, it is the worst place ever, each day meeting with the same people for few beers, and nothing fucking happens
the only actual enjoyment are currently get is from reading shakespeare, but i try to get back to vidya to have something to talk about with current friends
i am fucking afraid about my national exam scores which will come in few days and decide what should i do soon
i really want to move to berlin, but my parents arent giving me chances and think this is currently pointless and that i should just push for some shitty degree if I dont get to UK uni
also I havent created anything good in last few days, and dont really have any good motivation, but wanted to make a full adaption of Hamlet using Gothic Machinima as some sort of post modern idea.
>>9674373
You are fucking completly right, it just completly fills off and you end up fucking arguing about dumb bullshit.
currently been chatting for months with /p/ introvert girl, want to visit her finally, but she lives like 400 kms away, and surely no serious relationship would come out of it.
>>
>>9678998
Yes, but you'll be free of the baseless and agonizing pressure of pleasing a confused and toxic life mate.
>>
>>9679135
>baseless and agonizing pressure of pleasing a confused and toxic life
Is that what living with a woman is like?
>>
>>9678667
I was thinking that, really quite like Numberwang
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjOZtWZ56lc
>>
>>9678228
this
>>
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I need to get a girlfriend
>>
It's funny, I read all these things, and they sound almost scary. Then I realize what's at stake for you, what's been done to me in my past, what you would have continued to try and do had I not seized my position, and now, your desperate attempts at stopping me through denoralozarion instead of submitting to one simple request I have. I know how this game works. I know what you'll do. Anything, and everything, especially where there's money, liability, reputation, and let's not kid ourselves: a genuine crisis on your hands. And you still have the gall to tell me Im doing something that hurts other people, after fully intending to hurt me 'forever'? Remember the stamps? Remember the slander? Remember the cruelty? You would call me unjust? I would say I disagree.
>>
>>9679253
I don't entirely understand what you're saying, but it sounds like a speech a villain or anti hero would give at the end of a book or movie.
>>
>>9679272

Oh, its a speech. But I'm not the villain, and the movie isn't over yet.
>>
i have tonsillitis and am lonely
ive got to get a gf this summer
>>
I was ugly all my life. Then my looks developed around three years ago. Suddenly I was getting compliments on my face, girls seemed to give me more of a chance than before, and I'd never felt more confident. Naturally, because my fate was never to be wealthy in earthly desires (and I truly believe this), I fell into a deep spiritual depression, to the point that all my social skills fell off and I was back to worse than before. Let me tell you this: looks are a huge leg up, but they don't compensate for a lack of a endearing personality. If you're lacking, find that confidence, force it out of yourself until it holds. Or, better yet, let go of the endeavor entirely. People aren't worth impressing, they're fickle and will easily let you go as soon as you stop living up to their standards.
>>
>>9679516
>People aren't worth impressing, they're fickle and will easily let you go as soon as you stop living up to their standards.
Unfortunately very true.
>>
What a beautiful day, why aren't you outside?
>>
>>9679552
What an absurd thing to say.
>>
>>9671378
The ecstasy kicked in before the 2cb. We had already smoked all our cigarettes so weed would have to do. God knows we were in no state to go to the shops and buy a pack. Even more precarious was our lack of money. I do a bump of coke and for a second I think I'm going to die. "Ride the wave. Just ride the wave" I thought to myself. "Do we have any ketamine left?" my friend asks, his pupils the size of a coin. "Yeah, but we gotta save it for that party later. Girls around here would fuck you for a line of that shit."
>>
>>9679589
if the drug takers are meant to be 16 or younger, this is okay. if they're older, this is the most middle class shit i've ever read.
>>
>>9679552

Being inside, both your house and your Self, is better.
>>
There are certain kinds of people who fall in love with me very easily. I dislike the intensity, they seem almost nondiscriminatory when choosing the object of their affections.

I'm attracted to a certain kind of mind and intelligence, which seems to be rare. It's not that I want an intellectual, just a certain breed of person.
>>
>>9679552
Because I'm stuck at my wagecuck job. However I went for a walk this morning and if I were off I'd likely be reading in my yard.
>>
What a perfect performance. Can't stop listening to it.
https://youtu.be/9ZX_XCYokQo?t=5m8s
>>
I have often been told that I posses great empathetic abilities. It's true that I'm sensitive and other peoples feelings can become my own.

However, I have moments in which I can be cold, cruel and manipulative.

I have a pet that I take adequate care of. There have been 4 or 5 instances in which I like to scare it, by throwing things at it, chasing it, threatening it, pushing it about. Nothing that would cause long-term damage but enough to make me feel in control.

I also sometimes manipulate people just to see how it feels. Not for any kind of gain, in fact when people do things for me I am often overcome with gratitude, even guilt. But sometimes I like to emotionally manipulate, especially people who have romantic feelings for me, I like to play games.

When I was young I think I psychologically abused some of my partners. One person I had a LDR with called me sociopathic.

I've endured trauma, however I have no problem lying additional traumas, or I didn't when I was younger.

I used to like to steal a lot and be sexually manipulative, try and get people in trouble and sometimes be violent towards others.

I'm not sure if this is normal or there's something wrong with me, I can be very kind and I don't do it to gain power or wealth. I do it because it's what I would want, or what I think someone needs. But then I have these evil ways that are fading as I get older, but still remain.

I don't know who I am supposed to be. But people often tell me I am very sweet and lovely, a good person. If only they knew what I really am capable of.
>>
>>9679728

Kind of an anal interpretation at the detriment of the explosiveness Gould usually provides.

This one gets muddy a couple of time but...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kpqm1hxgH-w&list=PLF81B6EFFAE902A3B
>>
>>9679895
Don't like this tempo at all. I really very much prefer Gould's interpretation. This seems to me to sacrifice all feeling in the technicality of the playing.
>>
Nihilism is one hell of a drug.
>>
>>9679859
be careful, you might cut yourself with that edge
>>
>>9679912
>>9679895
the problem i have with piano is that the differences in style are much less obvious, because it doesn't provide - as a very techincal instrument - much space for pure feeling. Other instruments leave much more room for variation, especially string instruments
>>
>>9679895
also, this cembalo version adds a lot despite being almost presto
>>
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>>9671470
>>
>>9679145
if the woman is your girlfriend, yes.
>>
>>9679639
>>9679516
>>9679365
>>9679695
>>9679859
Gay shit
>>
I'm wondering if suicidal ideation is a byproduct of my genetic weakness or a conclusion brought about from indelible pain.

Apathy will be my standstill for the time being and after that I'll either find reason to live again or go out in the woods by my house and blow my brains out.
>>
I want to smoke a joint
>>
To know how to act politically, you must first understand the truth about the reality we inhabit. The following should form the foundation of your body of knowledge pertaining to that which is: Consciousness is the fifth dimension. The reason why we will never find the fifth dimension is because it is the realm of abstraction in our minds. It is a mistake to look at the finger pointing at the moon. The fifth dimension is chasing its own tail. We may inhabit the fourth dimension, but we are fifth dimensional beings. The spirit of God lives in us. If you are well read enough, you will see how this simple realisation ties Taoism, Gnosticism, Buddhism and many more esoteric traditions together (as well as modern physics).
>>
Context, I've moved back to my parents house from Europe after failing engineering Uni. Personal Journal entry.

Why do I look so sad? When I look at my eyes in the mirror, I see what only could be described as emptiness. I don't see hope or joy, excitement or desire. Just the stare of two blank eyes paired with lips that are pursed forming something that certainly isn't a smile, but also isn't a frown. Lips neither turned up
nor down. Cheeks pale and sunken in, eyes surrounded by dark heavy bags. God, I look tired.
It's not that I don't feel better here, as in home, I wouldn't say I really feel any different at all. I'm taking better care of myself, eating more and drinking plenty. Which is definitely an improvement. Socially I'm definitely doing worse, I miss feeling close to someone else. I miss feeling accepted for who I am. But I've never really had a problem with being on my own and how can I really be disappointed if I haven't really put any effort at all into meeting people. Can't fail if you don't try I suppose. Besides, my restless thoughts
keep me company. I don't often have the extra mental capacity to even consider the fact that fundamentally
I am all alone, my mind is too preoccupied with it's anxious thoughts and it's meticulous over analyzing of everything. And also with doing it's best to rationalize its very existence. Not content with the conclusion that life has no real meaning.
What is depression if not just another perception of reality? Who's to say which perception is the correct one? Not like I chose to have this view of the world. Seems to me that in the end ignorance is really bliss, for how could one truly ever be happy with even just a realistic view of life. Is happiness just something we can convince ourselves of. Don't get me wrong, there are positive things in life, selflessness, love, artistic expression, family. Somewhere along the lines, I stopped worrying about my own happiness and started to put the happiness of others first. I wasn't happy with who I was and I struggled to make myself happy, but at least I could make others laugh or smile. I've done this so long, tried to please others that I no longer am even aware of what I want. I want to want things, I want to be irrational, emotional, I want to feel things besides sadness or hopelessness. I want to just feel something and then to just act on it,
just be myself. But I've pushed my emotions so far deep down that letting go has become harder than simply keeping everything bottled up. What I want becomes a question of rationalization and logic, rather than a question of desire or passion
Anyway, that's what I'm currently struggling with. Objects don't fill the void and neither do
relationships. How could I ever truly make anyone else happy when I can't even make myself happy. I don't want to feel like a burden, nobody deserves that. It's really no one else's fault I can't live a happy life. Who would want to bring a rain cloud into their world of sunshine.
>>
Ya no lo soporto. No soporto este país. La misma basura todos los años, todos los días. Los mismos problemas, las mismas proposiciones estériles. El mismo líder canchero que se las sabe todas, rescatando a las masas patéticas que nada pueden hacer por sí solas. La misma burguesía humillada dejando sus sueños a las generaciones futura. Los mismos académicos que se complacen en ser los aliados de las clases bajas nacionales aunque apuntan a escribir solo en fórmulas griega. El mismo nacionalismo matón que odia al extranjero y al oligarca, que solo sabe chicanear, que es cosa de amigos y enemigos, a pesar de que se asienta en la misma explotación que dice luchar, que se compone de gente que no pensaría dos veces en dejar de lado a su gente o su oficio, que se enorgullece de Messi o Bergoglio, como si fueran un logro propio. Y esos hippies que son incapaces de aceptar un mundo por fuera de su burbuja de seguridad. Una y otra vez lo mismo. Una y otra vez.

Pero la culpa es mía. Fui un idiota en tener alguna esperanza. Yo me deje engañar. Es inútil.

'Enough now with teaching
what
only with difficulty
I reached.
This Dhamma is not easily realized
by those overcome
with aversion & passion.

What is abstruse, subtle,
deep,
hard to see,
going against the flow —
those delighting in passion,
cloaked in the mass of darkness,
won't see.'
>>
>>9679050
and after few hours I finally get to reading Shakespeare, I think about shifting my day to be few hours early before everyone else so I won't be ashamed of myself.
>>
>>9671440
bugcucked
>>
I work. After getting home, taking off the clothes and getting something to eat I feel somber. The days working security at a junkie and psychotics home is dragging me towards insomnia. I thought I would be happy to get a job at the side, no. I've talked to the police at least three times only today, there's violence and also conflicts. I have to control this environment under the judgement of some chatty social workers. It boggles my mind that my own brother used to cherish working there, It hurts to think about it.
>>
I'm so starved of physical affection I take naps just so I can fantasize about cuddling in those earliest stages of sleep where you're conscious but time passes fast and your thoughts are all floaty.
>>
Why do people think Steven King is even half way decent? His writing is basically fantasy if written by a 4th grader which while yes reading it is horrifying it does not constitute GOOD horror. It's all just extremely exaggerated borderline Chuuni shit like a turtle that created the universe. Why does it matter? IT DOESN'T but that's the central theme with all of his creations their actual state of being has no impact on the story and they could be anything making these types of characterizations pointless and in the end the reader just reads too deep into these things becoming distracted by the mundane dribble that they are reading.
>>
>>9671378
I don't want to die and I'm afraid I've already destroyed my body via neglect and abuse. I'm angry at myself and the uncertainty of my future makes me feel even worse.

>>9671436
I'm not that anon, but I want to be a writer and haven't finished a fucking story, so the fear of a premature death brought about by my own vices makes me feel even worse still.
>>
>>9680706
Which story are you talking about because they're not all like that, and even though he's primarily billed as a horror writer all of his stories are not horror stories.

For me, a lot of what's scary about Stephen King's works comes from the context of the things going on, not the monster that sometimes lies at the center of the story. Like, Pennywise is scary, sure, but not the clown. Not exactly. What the clown really is, how long it's been doing what it does, and how it effects the area around it are scarier than any of its individual forms. Derry is scary, Derry is really what's scary.

There are other examples out there too. Like Mordred Deschain. Everything about Mordred is messed up, but the scariest, most fucked up part of him boils down to what he is; the essential idea of this abominable, unwanted spawn of your loins that by its very existence, perverts and threatens the entirety of your glorious lineage is fucking horrifying to think about. Especially from the perspective of his unwitting and unwilling parents. He's a living perversion that came from THEIR loins.
>>
I just want to attend university but I still got 1 year of upper secondary school left. Nothing drains me more than moving from one stale classroom to another throughout the day, fed copious amounts of information by some uninspired teacher (can't blame them for being that though) to be memorized but never reflected upon. The only thing that has developed my reasoning is calculus but I sadly don't have any math classes left.
>>
>>9680820
I couldn't care less about what Pennywise really is and the effects to the environment are jarring and detaching, unless you are referring to his effects throughout history in which case I couldn't care at all. Only concern when reading is the main cast. Making Pennywise a 5D being older than time that can only be killed by a bunch of rowdy ruffians with the power of thought was just fucking retarded and him being a 5D being or older than time are not even relevant to the fucking story and detracts from the mystery and horror.

He does this allot especially with the black tower series. STOP RUINING THE MYSTERY. YOU ARE NOT LOVECRAFT
>>
>>9671470
Depends on which God you're talking about
>>
>>9679992
What are you on? You couldn't tell a piano from a black-and-white xylophone.
>>
Regarding consistency and dualism: why the gravity? Too often do I hear of 'inconsistency' being used as a pejorative. Too often do I hear of 'good and evil'. These things are the most ancient of memes. They have completely systematized and oriented our thinking to a certain way: most notably of 'truth' and 'untruth'. Systematic truth. Consistency is inherently systematic. Truth itself requires a dualism (epistemological right and wrong) and consistency (truth loses meaning without universality.) Dualism requires consistency (concrete dialectic sets). Even the most radical of thought seems to forget this. One cannot speak without falling into these trappings.
Thread posts: 313
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