First Lines of a Book

>>9661653
>A screaming comes across the sky.

>>9661653
"Humanity....All of my suffering has been at the hands of humanity, particularly women."

>>9661687
chills. every time

>>9661653
The opening line to Fear and Loathing is so fucking good.

File: outraged_dave.jpg (71KB, 761x750px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 761x750px

>>9661653

>"When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold. My fingers stretch out, seeking Prim's warmth but finding only the rough canvas cover of the mattress. She must have had bad dreams and climbed in with our mother. Of course, she did. This is the day of the reaping."
>"Compelling First Lines"

>>9661742
holy shitsnacks that's bad.

the only correct answer is:
Call me Ishmael. Some years ago--never mind how long precisely --having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world.

now that i think on it, i'm amazed that moby dick isn't on this thing.

Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta. She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita.

mom is dead. i think. idk.

- pope john pole cumis II, the oddball

I am a sick man. ... I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I believe my liver is diseased. However, I know nothing at all about my disease, and do not know for certain what ails me. I don't consult a doctor for it, and never have, though I have a respect for medicine and doctors. Besides, I am extremely superstitious, sufficiently so to respect medicine, anyway (I am well-educated enough not to be superstitious, but I am superstitious). No, I refuse to consult a doctor from spite. That you probably will not understand. Well, I understand it, though. Of course, I can't explain who it is precisely that I am mortifying in this case by my spite: I am perfectly well aware that I cannot "pay out" the doctors by not consulting them; I know better than anyone that by all this I am only injuring myself and no one else. But still, if I don't consult a doctor it is from spite. My liver is bad, well--let it get worse

>>9661752
It's because it's a super-Reddit image

>>9661653
Wow. A Tale of Two Cities is just awful.

>>9661742
>Tfw I read and liked this book when I was in middleschool
I have sinned. I have sinned deeply.

>>9661742
Even kid me (who didn't do much reading at all) could tell that this opening was shit. Good thing because when I actually read the book years latter it was just as bad.

>>9661653
>Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a moocow coming down along the road and this moocow that was coming down along the road met a nicens little boy named baby tuckoo...

This one is unforgettable. I even typed it out from memory. That list made me vomit, though. I've never seen something more /r/books in my life. How people can put classics next to contemporary YA garbage is beyond me.

>>9661653
>Maman died sometime within the last 48 hours.
I've always thought it had a certain je ne sais pas.

>>9661653
>Lolita, love of my life, limpid lubricant of my lust, lapping the last lees of lechery--and now I'm on a list. Tripping tiptoed trap, tangling the thorns of torment in my twisted turpitude--truly titillating, tee hee! Ah, l'innéffable finesse de ton fillet mignon, ma mignone fillette. She was merely Dilly in desert motels, Lilo in lacy stockings, Leda to my swan, Dollarbill Dan in our Wild West-themed rambunctious role-play. But in my arms she was always Loli (for I'm not a pedo, I'm a hebe).
Unreliable narrator, my ass. Your can always rely on him for those lush turns of phrase.

>>9661653
>Suddenly there was this whooshing across the sky like "wheeeaaawwwwoooo". I had heard it before but, man, I could tell something was off this time.
Makes me yukyuk every time. And what did /lit/ think of Wordsworth, the sodium vapour fluorescent tube?

>>9661653
The correct, non-binary, gender-fluid way to refer to me is Ishmael. Preferred pronouns are ßë, ßïs, ßïñsêlf.

>>9661653
Au'jourdhui maman est mort au peut-etre hier, je ne sais pas.

>>9663239
>Implying The Outsiders didn't beat this :^)

Я чeлoвeк бoльнoй... Я злoй чeлoвeк.

The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.

>>9661742
Explain why this is bad.

Als Clemens bij uitzondering eerder uit zijn bed kwam dan Sita, ging hij naar de keuken om thee te zetten en terwijl hij wachtte tot het water kookte, dacht hij: Ik ben toch eigenlijk een goed mens, dat ik haar niet vergiftig.

>If Clemens per exception left his bed earlier than Sita, he would go to the kitchen to set tea and while he waited for the water to boil, he thought: Surely I am in fact a good person, that I don't poison her.

>>9664122
It's not bad it's just not special at all. It's literally put on the chart so r/books will have some books they actually know

Not everybody knows how I killed old Phillip Mathers, smashing his jaw in with my spade; but first it is better to speak of my friendship with John Divney because it was he who first knocked old Mathers down by giving him a great blow in the neck with a special bicycle-pump which he manufactured himself out of a hollow iron bar.

Waking up to a loud crash rarely means something good is happening.

>>9661653
>"One morning, as Gregor Samsa was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that in bed he had been changed into a monstrous verminous bug."

C'mon, ladies.

>>9661653
How is the Agatha Christie line even there? It isn't bad, but it isn't remotely compelling.

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins."

I cum every time I read the beginning pages of Lolita, and that line always starts it off.

>>9661797
I know, right? He goes on way too long. It's fucking obnoxious and I can't get past it.

>>9661653
>riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodious vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs

Have it memorized from thinking about it for so long

>>9664403
>not using the superior "varmint" translation

>>9661653

"All I want for my birthday is a big booty ho."

>>9661653
riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle & Environs.

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

>>9667057
shut the fuck up Crito

>>9661653
"The world is what it is; men who are nothing, who allow themselves to become nothing, have no place in it." - VS Naipaul

beautiful book

>>9661806
Fuck off reddit